As they say in the land of a certain mega-brand: JUST DO IT.

Having now done just that, and left 9 to 5 to work out (there it is again) what it is that I REALLY want to do,  all that was written BEFORE leaving is now bundled simply into BEFORE FREEDOM. All the scribed thoughts to come will be grouped for the moment as AFTER FREEDOM. No real rocket science there - but stay tuned!

I’m coming clean. I have a secret addiction to horoscopes. It started innocently as a little girl at the breakfast table. My mom would sit with us over French toast or our personal-favorite-PopTart (unfrosted strawberry for me, thank you). She’d have her coffee, scan the morning headlines, and read my little sister, brother and me our horoscopes. Now I’m not looking to blame Mom here. After all, she did get up every morning from grade school to high school to make sure we started our day well-fed. This is not a bad Mom. Maybe it’s the memory of her offering these “words of wisdom” around the comfort of our kitchen table that makes me want to check in with the stars when I’m facing uncertainty.

I’m happy to say that what started as a daily ritual has evolved into a more respectable, occasional newsstand scan of the magazines with the least corny horoscopes. It’s not like I’m planning every move based on their advice – I’m just looking for some cosmic reassurance that I’m on the right track …

I recently shared my favorite source with a select group of friends who wouldn’t think I was too whacked. One, facing a tough career decision told me she’s been referencing it regularly. Now this is a very smart girl. She’s quite comfortable and experienced with research, analysis and the decision-making process. Even though she senses the direction she needs to take, she finds herself seeking solace in the stars and says,

“What I find hilarious about all this is that I have a PhD and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up!”

It all boils down to faith. And that’s a tough one because we’re desperately seeking the perfect way, afraid of making a mistake. There is comfort in knowing we’re not alone in our uncertainty. But, the ones who progress are the ones who find resources that give them the courage to step out of their comfort zone and try.

Note: I’m revealing my secret source with one caveat. You have to promise to try a few more credible resources before acting on its advice - yoga, Tai Chi, meditation, prayer, counseling, even a nap have all been proven very helpful in calming your mind so you can hear that voice within – the only resource guaranteed to give you the right answer.

Town & Country magazine Horoscopes by Katharine Merlin are very comprehensive and have been amazingly accurate (for me anyway). Read your “2009” overview online (published in the Feb 09 issue). Or, read your monthly horoscope at the newsstand each month. It’s always on the last page of each issue.

Town & Country magazine’s February issue featured a profile of seven “Wonder Women”. Considering how much I love success stories and horoscopes (yes, this is the issue with the 2009 outlook), I was looking forward to some serious inspiration. The stories of Michelle Obama, Tina Fey, Suze Orman and Diane Von Furstenberg did not disappoint – but the story of Ariane de Bonvoison’s struggle to align her outer and inner lives really spoke to me. It was more like divine intervention than inspiration.

Ariane has made some big leaps – she’s left executive positions at Sony and Time Warner, ended a relationship with one of People magazine’s “America’s Top 50 Bachelors”, taken two years off from the corporate world and created a business that makes a difference in people’s lives.

These decisions, life experiences led her to create First 30 Days– a company that helps people through the initial stage of more than 60 life changes.

Ariane realized that if the one constant in life is change, why is it that change is still so hard for us? She says we’re really much better at it than we think.

“We have a change muscle that just needs to be worked. People are obsessed with their job resume, but assess your change resume – who you are today is a combination of all the changes you’ve had to face in your life and the ones you’ve initiated. You’ve already made dozens of changes, you just haven’t acknowledged yourself for that.”

I love that Ariane was considered one of the seven Wonder Women. Her willingness to face uncertainty and ability to shift our perspective regarding change is so necessary. Now more than ever, we need role models who’ve stepped outside their comfort zone, taken the different path and are providing tools to help us live more authentically.

Read Ariane’s T&C article, watch her discuss Making Big Leaps on “BusinessWeek.com and visit her web site at www.first30days.com.

I’ve always been fascinated by people who love what they do. How did they know? What if you didn’t know? At what age should you give up? Should you even care that much? I was in my 20’s when I first started considering this. At the time, I didn’t know anyone actually “doing what they love”, so I turned to books in search of answers. They always left me motivated to figure it out, but motivation wasn’t what I needed – I was determined, I was courageous, I was smart, if I just knew what to do, I WOULD DO IT. These books continued to fuel my impatience and frustration well into my 30’s.

Then I read Po Bronson’s, What Should I Do With My Life? After listening to the life stories of more than 900 people, he wasn’t able to produce the magic formula for finding your calling because there is no formula – it was a process as unique as the individual – and, it wasn’t always about the job.

Bronson shifted my perspective from what I “should do”, to what type of person I want to be. This took the pressure off because I knew my calling would look different than everyone else’s. And the reason I wasn’t finding the answers “out there” was because those were other people’s answers, not mine.

His book reminds us that the most important thing is that we’re asking the question, to not feel guilty for taking the quest seriously, even suggesting it’s a moral imperative.

“Most of us are blessed with the ultimate privilege: We get to be to be true to our individual nature. Our economy is so vast that we don’t have to grind it out forever at jobs we hate. For the most part, we get to choose.”

Read more Po Bronson insight in Fast Company magazine articles, What Should I Do With My Life? (Dec 07) and What Should I Do With My Life, Now? (Jan 09)

I was voted “Most Optimistic” of my Senior Class. I was not really proud of this…I didn’t even understand why my peers considered me an optimist. I doubted myself and I come from a long line of worriers (thanks Mom) so I worry - a lot. I was also voted “Best Dressed”. Now at 17, this was something to be proud of (thanks Mom)! I readily admit that over the years I’ve found my fair share of happiness in shopping. I’m not so proud to admit that I’ve continued to downplay my optimism - mainly because “seeing the bright side” isn’t usually the popular view, especially given my current status - leaving my high paying corporate job in the worst economy in decades.

Then I read this, “Optimism isn’t about denying reality; it’s about creating a better reality than you’re facing” and realized it’s about taking action. Maybe my classmates were on to something, because this is how I’ve lived my life.

Optimism has given me the courage to make decisions that aren’t always popular or understood. It’s what led me to go to a college where I didn’t know anyone - and ended up meeting my very best friends. It encouraged me to move to California which after 20 years I still consider paradise… to not marry my college boyfriend of 9 years even after he finally proposed… to start over in a new career making an hourly wage when my friends were making so much more… to “try running” and completing 6 marathons… to “try yoga” and finding my rock… to love someone but know when to let them go… to take some time to consider your options… to be OK not knowing what the future holds…
Optimism is more than seeing the bright side. It’s about digging deep and listening within. It’s having faith in yourself and trusting your judgement.

While I’d still love to be considered “Best Dressed”, I’m going to put more energy into my ability to see the bright side and maybe pay more attention to others’ opinions of me - they just might recognize something I’m not quite ready to see.

Po Bronson, author of What Should I Do With My Life admits his book published in 2003 was unfortunately lumped into the “Modern Dream Machine Industry” - where media companies make a killing “selling transformation irresponsibly.” If you haven’t read his book because the last step-by-step-guide-to-finding-your-passion” left you even more confused and desperate, start with this Fast Company article. Bronson puts things in perspective with a more grounded approach than the typical Do What You Love spiel. While our faith has been shaken in corporate America most of us will suck it up and stay at jobs we don’t like, grateful to have one. Or, we’ll wait and see what the next “hot opportunity” is (just like we did with dot.coms, mortgage industry) without ever pausing to consider what we want to “become”.

Instead of waiting or blaming the many possible outside sources for your discontent, consider this a time to shift perspective - Bronson encourages us to consider how we’ll contribute to the solution. “We’re sitting on a huge potential of boom in productivity - if we could just get the square pegs out of the round holes. They are the ones who will rescue this drifting (or some might say ’sinking’) ship.”

1. Outsource the crap.

What a place to start. Much of the time I could just slap Tim Ferriss. The guy makes me tired. Honestly. I’m not even going to attempt to paraphrase his approach although to say “just outsource the crap” is not entirely doing him justice. I’ll just say this: read the 4-Hour Work Week.

2. Enrol yourself in extra-curricular classes or activities

While at first this might seem a bit counter-intuitive - “What? You want me to have work-life balance by doing more? How does that work??!” - enrolling in other things can do two key things. Firstly, you’ll need to leave the office. And for those people for whom the job is never done, this can be a critical step. It will stop 5pm sliding into 6pm which before you know it is 7pm. (That’s about when your partner calls you to find out where you are.) Second, you’ll be focussing on an interest that’s more about other aspects of you than it is about work. Go on, do French lessons, go to the gym, learn how to meditate. At your funeral it’ll be sad if all they’re saying is what a great employee you were.

3. Persuade your employer to help you

On Entrepreneur.com Sarah Pierce reports that a study done by Employee Hold’em says a whopping 92 percent of employees will stay at their job for less money if they can achieve such things as work-life balance and recognition. Even if those results don’t hold true across the board, work-life balance for employees can also be good for employers.

The Queensland Government’s Department of Employment and Industrial Relations identifies a number of positive outcomes from reduced staff turnover rates and absenteeism and sick leave to increased return on investment in training as employees stay longer and improved productivity. Not only that, it helps employers become an employer of choice - important always but particularly in a tight job market.

They offer a Better Work-Life Balance survey to help your organisation improve and promote work-life balance in the workplace.

4. Talk your boss into letting you telecommute - almost full-time

Author and commentator Rich Karlgaard said in his book, Life 2.0, that the answer was “take this job and … move it. That was my message. To the farm, the mountains, the beach - yes, even the beach”. He writes that one of his favourite stories in the book was of a couple who moved their high-tech public relations business from San Francisco to the Turks and Caicos Islands. “In shorts and flip-flops, they service semiconductor clients from California, Taiwan and Singapore. Their business is booming,” he says.

Recently Karlgaard updated that advice and offered the two-hour away, two-day-a-week solution. Because cities will only get more expensive and crowded, the internet connections will only get faster and bosses should become more enlightened about telecommuting, Karlgaard says it’s time to have an honest chat with your boss. The point to make is that office face-time is overrated and today you can work and produce from anywhere.

While an entire five-day week of two-hour commutes would be living hell, he acknowledges, two days of it might be tolerable. It could even be one day if you come in Tuesday morning, stay in town Tuesday night and depart for home Wednesday evening, he suggests.

5. Don’t let technology boss you around

Canadian Business Online give us the example of Elana Rosenfeld and her husband Leo, the CEO and President respectively of Kicking Horse Coffee Co. Ltd., a Canadian firm that roasts and distributes organic “fair trade” coffee. Founded in 1996, the firm posted sales of $7.8 million in 2006.

The couple has instituted several strategies to achieve balance. Aside from limiting work hours to 9 to 3, taking six to eight weeks holiday a year, and choosing to live in a small town of less than 3,000 people - “We don’t live in a community of work, work, work,” Elana says - Elana and Leo have kicked technology aside.

“We have an unlisted home phone number, we don’t have cell phones and we don’t have Internet access at home. When we’re at home, we’re home together or with our kids. And when we’re at work, we’re at work,” she says.

Australian full time employees work an average 44 hours a week, helping Australia top the list of 23 Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development countries with the longest full-time working hours among employees. Many people in corporate Australia work much longer hours than the average however. Given that many jobs are task-based rather than time-based, they stay at work until the job is done or take it home and do it on the weekend.

Not everyone likes it. Researchers working on the Australian National University’s decade-long Negotiating the Life Course project say about 50 per cent of middle-aged men want to work fewer hours. They are trapped into thinking that they need to work long hours to have a good career and provide for the family, researchers say.

The Brits aren’t big fans either apparently. A team of researchers from Coventry University teamed up with The Work Life Balance Centre, and found that 25 percent of the people questioned by experts confessed that they were too tired for sex.

The study further revealed that the stress from work also affected their lives outside the bedroom. More than 40 percent of the 3,000 people interviewed suffered from depression and 35 percent of them said they had panic attacks.

Work-life balance - what is that anyway?

Judy Martin, the New York Work Life Examiner, says that work-life balance is more a “journey of evolution” than a state of being. Her Work Life Inquiry defines the problem through what might be missing.

1. Have you sacrificed family time for work?
2. Have your personal friendships suffered due to work?
3. Do you favour work above spending personal time?
4. Are you dissatisfied with your weekly achievements at home and at work?
5. Do your core working relationships need some attention?
6. Do you wish your job were more fulfilling?
7. Do you desire change but don’t have time to make it happen?
8. Do your working conditions need a tune up?
9. Do you wish you were more engaged at your job?
10. Do you have a stress reducing routine or practice at work?

This list is useful but the definition proposed by CEO and trainer Jim Bird from worklifebalance.com seems to crystallise what these questions point to: “meaningful daily achievement and enjoyment in each of my four life quadrants: work, family, friends and self”.

Jim says: “You cannot get the full value from life without BOTH achievement and enjoyment. Focusing on achievement and enjoyment every day in life helps you avoid the “as soon as trap”, the life dulling habit of planning on getting around to the joys of life and accomplishment “as soon as….”

Maslow may have the key

While Jim’s definition will work for many, it won’t hit home for everyone. The reason could be found in the hierarchy of needs proposed by Abraham Maslow in his 1943 paper A Theory of Human Motivation.

After the ‘deficiency needs’ have been met, Maslow argues that people are ready for self-actualisation: “the desire for self-fulfilment, namely the tendency for him [the individual] to become actualised in what he is potentially. This tendency might be phrased as the desire to become more and more what one is, to become everything that one is capable of becoming”.

With this in mind, here’s an alternative work-life balance definition:

“Expressing myself in ways that support me financially, while at the same time nourishing my physical and spiritual being.”

Too woo-woo? Let’s ponder it.

Down shifters and tree-changers - are they telling us something?

In 2003 the Australia Institute published the results of a survey that showed that almost a quarter of Australian adults have downshifted. Follow-up focus group research revealed that there were four key reasons why they took that step but it’s perhaps the first three that are most relevant here.

The Getting a Life - Understanding the downshifting phenomenon in Australia report says that the first reason is “a desire for a more balanced life”, the second a “clash between personal values and those of the workplace”. The report says that: “The third reason, related to the first two, is the search for a more fulfilling life. As one interviewee put it, they want congruence between what they do in the world and what they are in themselves. This is usually the result of a slow realisation over several years”.

That statement resonates with me. It seems to strike at the heart of why the phrase work-life balance may never feel quite right even though it is a buzzword of the moment. Perhaps better shorthand may actually simply be the dilemma of the balanced self.

Well, it kind of was. When she put in a two-month leave application so that she could go to India and practice yoga, the company knocked her back. She resigned. But she’s no longer resigned about her life!

In contrast, I am still dithering and this week I spoke to my accountant. Well, this woman is as bossy as they come (actually it’s kind of like a dose of my own medicine). She said to me: “That’s a lot of money to give up if you leave your job. Why wouldn’t you want to build up to it?”

And that my friends is the point. This has already been a slow build up of resignation. Of course, I don’t just want to go off an have an extended holiday. (And I’m not independently wealthy so I still need to work out a way to pay the bills.) My accountant’s argument is that I should get new work arrangements in place before I jump. And really, that’s the sensible thing to do.

The thing is, I already work so damn much I don’t have the energy to add anything more on top. And frankly, something deep inside me says that I need to just do leave having some quiet confidence that I will work things out once forced to.

Now all I have to do is stick with gut instinct and close my ears a little to what seems sane and sensible. Isn’t it?

Deep down I know this is true. However that didn’t stop me doing as I threatened a few weeks back; joining the Alliance Francaise so that I can dust off my decades-old French and become fluent. As one would need to be moving to rural France. The white knight and I are therefore enrolled in French language classes starting mid-October. Escapism is a reality.