@adam_frisby tweets, “Wisdom Rule 1. Never walk into a HR department smiling, it’s a waste of muscle.”

@kasinator tweets, “My HR manager told me I’d be better off quitting & applying as an external candidate than trying to figure out the internal transfer system.”

@joeosterberg: It’s official, Yahoo Answers is better at answering questions related to my employment than my HR department.

@amynowacoski: Dear HR Department, without the people who actually generate income for the company, you don’t have a job. So please play nice. Thanks!

@ Miraclepie: how’s this for a tweet? I’ve actually lost it with every single HR department in this stupid country. crying on the floor. ahh!

@ lanej0: Why is it that 9/10 times, the one female on the executive team is “Director of Human Resources“?

@Jasperblu: @FandPinLV He sounds like a real scumbag. Too bad most HR dept’s rarely do jack about verbal harassment.

@ashish_tiwari: Received the most arrogant treatment of life from HR department. phew.

@ prabhakar1729: HR people try to inspire every one else to be more productive by showing how useless they are… Oh..God..HR sucks..!!!!

@cubicile_blues: We can’t have a world with minimal rules and no fuss bcoz that would lead to mass layoffs in d HR dept.

@mruku HR is full of people who studied psychology but didn’t do well enough to become real psychologists.

@euan organisational design? Once you are big enough to need an HR department you are fucked.

@mistressmousey: Our HR Director is cracking me up. Shouting “woo!”, clapping, laughing & talking about dancing. Sign of a good day?

@AlexM11: I wonder if any HR department anywhere is staffed by anyone with more than two brain cells to rub together?

@millionairesoul: people I have found most inefficient in industry are HR folks. In most ( read all) companies HR dept is least efficient.

@pbhavsar: how come the HR department across from me is always laughing..and our department is always quiet and stressed out!

@Shaunyboy2: This HR class makes me want to have to never deal with an HR department. And definitly never work in one.

@MMonides There may be no group of employees sas lazy, useless, uniformed and backstabbing as can be found in any HR department

@SpookyTurtle: I hate visiting our HR department. Every time I do, it’s “harassment” this or “lawsuit” that or “shots fired” the other.

@simoneisrandom: confirmation.. joining.. probation.. appraisal…joining..leaving.. arrrghhh… HR and their stupid procedures..

@calvingarner: Does anyone like their HR dept?

@randomjeweler: nothing can stop us now! except for the HR department.

@suzewebb: Never seen anyone from HR in our department … step away from your desk!

@mscienski: HR is the most worthless department ever. Dealing with them makes me stabby.

@Mom101 Our HR dept is harassing me about taking a harassment training course. Who do I report that to?

@ivanfoley HR dept. looked dark and not busy. But I was offered two extra weeks of vacation pay just for stopping by.

@ktgeek I hate people who cheerfully delight in the misery of others. I worked with an HR person who was happiest on layoff days.

@TyrantsAtWork Nobody says they want to be an HR Manager when they grow up.

@crsofr Really, I have to contact my incompetent HR department for a claim form to submit my flu shot? Why not just post it on the intranet? #fail

@kojach Why is it that whenever someone gets on my nerves, they are typically in the HR department? Ugh…

@shen_nanigans wow, my HR department could use a class in customer service. damn.

@steishere How big can a company be without having…an HR department? Because that is exactly how big my future company will be.

@Nish666 Why is HR the most useless, least in-touch dept of any company next to board members/directors?

@kendramangione Overheard at Ryerson: “I’m an HR person. I’m going to be that person in the office that you hate.”

@kinggirlmedia working for a company with no HR dept can be dangerous for me

Photo Credits: Churchwolf , ::darren::, noahstone, kystang1966, 4blueeyes, jovike, radmegan, alabs, todayfortomorrow, gettyimages

#4) You’ll get more from a good conversation with an employee than you ever will from any employee survey. #5) Retention is an outcome, not a program. #6) Most other organizational functions take risks, HR needs to do so from time to time too. #7) It shouldn’t be HR’s job to tell the organization what it can and can’t do; but  it should be to make sure everyone understands the consequences of doing it or not doing it. #8) Maslow’s hierarchy applies in the workplace; HR should spend more time responding to the needs at the bottom of the pyramid. #9) Don’t even think about “getting a seat at the table” if you can’t look at the administrative side of your HR practice and say “I got that house in order.” #10) “Blaming HR is the universal way to change the subject when you are a poor leader.”    Laurie Ruettimann (PunkRockHR) #11) Your HR practice is nothing more than a commodity unless you focus on creating an experience for your people. #12) If your employees or managers have to fill out more than one page to get or give an evaluation, it’s too much. #13) Giving heartfelt thanks to your people on a regular basis will build more employee engagement than any fancy (and expensive) reward and recognition program. #14) If we’re going to keep referring to our employees as “Assets” or “Human Capital”, we better find a way to get Finance to report them on the Balance Sheet. #15) Every HR professional should have a Personal Board of Directors – x-functional, x-industry, x-level – meet quarterly, and have them hold you accountable…because it’s likely no one else will. #16) HR needs more of less. #17) When in doubt, fire them. #18) Your talent acquisition team should be more focused on hiring the people your company is going to need 1-3 years from now than it is on the people you need tomorrow. #19) Finance/Accounting shares monthly financial statements with a company’s stakeholders; HR should have an equivalent…call it a dashboard, a scorecard, whatever. #20) Most employees will never directly appreciate you for what you do in HR; if you can get over that, you’ll go much farther in your career. #21) Did you walk the halls today and shoot the shit with random employees for no reason whatsoever? #22) Don’t get stuck spending 80% of your time on the 20% who are just making a lot of noise. #23) Workplaces are not designed for trustworthiness…trust me on this. #24) The cemetaries of the world are filled with irreplacable employees…and HR professionals…and CEOs…and executives. #25) The Human Race is hands-down the most adaptable species on this planet; employees are no different.  Stop worrying about what every one is going to think about it and change what needs changing. #26) Executive Compensation Programs should not make you blush. #27) Stop doing things just because that’s the way they’ve always been done…just stop it. #28) If you’re not prepared to readily quantify the value of what you’re doing in HR, then what you’re doing has no value. #29) Break Bread Together…Often. #30) If you’re not comfortable sharing your opinion without being asked, go find another profession…please. #31) Treat your employees like human beings and 90% of everything else will take care of itself. #32) Uncertainty surrounding an outcome is always harder on people than the outcome itself…whatever it is. #33) Let people be angry from time to time…it’s human and it’s ok. #34) Pissed Off?  Step away from the keyboard. #35) Less Email.  Pick up the phone or stop by an office. #36) One’s stint with an employer is like investing in a bottle of fine wine. Make sure you don’t open the wine (leave the employer) too soon or you may miss something and don’t open the wine (leave the employer) too late or things may turn sour.  Find your employer’s vintage and act accordingly. #37) Spend more time learning (and practicing) how to think critically – how to imaginatively frame questions and consider multiple perspectives. #38) Selfishness insn’t necessarily a bad trait for an HR person… #39) If you find yourself complaining about your job, just stop for a moment and think about how fortunate you really are to HAVE a job…seriously. #40) We need more #TrenchHR perspective in the blogosphere. #41) Maladjustment to the workplace order is something to be proud of. #42) HR Professionals should gravitate toward conflict, not go out of their way to avoid it. #43) “Why?” should be one of the most used words in your vocabulary. #44) “Forget outside competition when your own worst enemy is the way you communicate with one another internally.” Jack Welch #45) Do something nice for your people and make them leave their Blackberry with you when they go on vacation. #46) HR can not fall prey to herd mentality when it comes to performance management. #47) Sometimes HR needs HR too. #48) We need to find a way to standardize a piece of the performance review process so the related data can follow employees from employer to employer…just like EMRs. #49) You can’t include every one all the time.  But when in doubt, over-include. #50) Getting fired sucks…doesn’t matter when, where, or why…it just sucks. #51) Network Network Network…If you’re not out there, you’re nowhere. #52) If you think your boss has your best interests in mind, think again. #53) HR professionals take arrows in the back more often than any other professional in the workplace (See Also #10). #54) You want all your managers to be “coach-like,” but don’t expect all your managers to be coaches. #55) Find the right combination of x) economic currency (money), y) socio-emotional currency (people), and z) ideological currency (purpose) for each of your employees and you’ve uncovered the formula for lasting employee engagement. #56) If the speaker list at an HR conference you’re interested in attending is heavily weighted toward vendors, sponsors, and consultants, make sure you understand what you’re getting yourself into. #57) If you have to be smarter than a 5th grader to understand an HR product or service you’re delivering to your people, then you should probably blow it up and start over. #58) If the grass were in fact always greener, there wouldn’t be any fences. #59) Conformity may amount to relinquishment of self, but realize it may also amount to a career survival tactic. #60) HR helps write the script for the workplace; use that role to give your people the occasional cliffhanger – keeping them glued to what’s coming up next. #61) Take time to understand and show an interest in your opponent’s perspective not so you can challenge him/her, but so you can challenge yourself. #62) Sometimes it is more important to help our people get good at receiving feedback than it is to help our managers get good at giving it. #63) If your ATS/RMS gives your candidates pause, then your ATS/RMS sucks. #64) “Hubris, both personal and organizational, is hard to hide and candidates always see it. No matter how hard you try to stifle/contain it.” ~ John Nykolaiszyn (aka @CigarSPHR) #65) “If you don’t know your organization’s people – like really know them – then your organization doesn’t need you.” ~ Steve Browne (aka @sbrownehr). #66) Guess what, your employees aren’t reading your Employee Handbook.  Part of the problem?  It’s too damn big! Trim it down…seriously! #67) Attending the SHRM Annual Conference and Exposition is a requirement for those serious about a career in HR. #68) When it comes to communications – to, with, and from your team – live by one simple principle: No Surprises! #69) Time kills all deals in the game of talent acquisition. #70) Read Read Read #71) Know as much, if not more, about what the world’s economic pundits are saying to “look out for.” #72) We Know Next! #73) If you’re an HR leader, you should have an HRCI certification. Don’t tell me it’s a waste of time or it wont help your career. Who cares? The profession does. #74) Stop spending so much time trying to fix your employees’ weaknesses and start figuring out how to simply work around them by leveraging their strengths. #75) Managers generally suck at team building and motivation and employees generally find that stuff more important than pretty much anything else. HR plays a really important role in bridging that gap. #76) “Make your weaknesses irrelevant.” ~ Marcus Buckingham #77) “Getting a seat at the table” is passé. If you haven’t already been there for a while now, you’re screwed. #78) Your CFO most likely never really wants to be your friend. Get over it and move on. #79) Want a bestselling leadership book for your team? Try To Kill a Mockingbird. #80) Inaction is neither success nor failure; rather, it is ‘nothingness’. Nothingness ain’t good for you or for our profession. Have no fear of failure…just act! #81) Pick up a pen and write a nice note to one of your employees…on paper. #82) Encourage your employees to take personal time off in bigger chunks than just one week. Otherwise, it’s wasted time. #83) The one-size-fits-all approach doesn’t really fly in the talent management world. Take time to tailor your programs to your distinct and unique constituents. #84) Stop talking so much. Listen. Listen. Then listen some more. #85) Be careful of the unintended consequences of your hiring policies. #86) The most important member of your HR Team might just be an Administrative Assistant. #87) There is no real place for false advertising during new hire orientation. Share the good, the bad, and the ugly. #88) “Duty of Care” is taken to another level when applied to international travel. Can you account for and attest to your employees’ safety at any given time – day or night? #89) Why waste your time trying to train your people to deal with difficult employees? Just get rid of those employees. #90) Labor day is about us and the people we take care of. What do you do to acknowledge, recognize, appreciate, and honor labor during this holiday? #91) HR doesn’t get to decide how much entitlement an organization will endure…especially when in comes to big shots. Law, policy, and safety aside, entitlement can be earned in the workplace. #92) It doesn’t matter how good your company is at engaging employees. If an employee was wrong for the job, the organization, or the environment to begin with, they are as good as gone. #93) HR can be a huge time suck on your people. Be crisp and clean in all of your transactions and realize the person on the receiving end of your services has a finite number of seconds in their lifetime. Take only what you need. #94) Want to change HR? Get rid of the dead wood on your team and upgrade – stop hiring mediocre HR talent! #95) When it comes to HR communications, use an effective and respected mouthpiece. Guess what, you are most likely not that mouthpiece. #96) We preserve our role as the organization’s agent by not (fully) engaging in its games. We fail to see ourselves as an active (and vital) participant so we end up playing with no one. And who the hell wants someone like that on their playground? #97) Successful and influential business leaders squander opportunities to positively impact our community time and again and in doing so perpetuate so much that’s wrong with it. #98) When it comes to conferences, 800 collective thought leaders is much better than 1. #99) Want to create a high performing organization? Get your people to spend most of their time on things that they 1) are really good at and 2) love to do. #100) It’s hard making things easy… #101) Employee Surveys Suck; if you have to ask your employees to tell you how engaged they are, you already have your answer… #102) “No one cares about your development as much as you. Don’t wait for your manager to bring it up. Be proactive.” ~ Dwane Lay #103) Have a position, turn it into a story, and then tell it to whomever will listen. #104) Sometimes the best networking you can do is with people completely outside of your profession/industry. ~ Mary Ellen Slayter #105) If you can’t explain it to me in a couple of sentences it is obviously something you don’t know how to do. ~ Shivan S. Subramaniam #106) Throw them a project get out of the way and let them direct. #107) Open your eyes, HR is NOT a noble profession. It’s an important one, but not noble. #108) Want to help the HR profession? Make sure the people entering it (primarily graduates) are coming to our profession with the right stuff. #109) When it comes to the carrot and stick approach to motivating and rewarding your people, make sure you have enough stick. #110) Spend more time in the lab working on the cure for workplace dysfunction than you do administering the morphine that merely masks the pain. #111) Meetings are wasteful enough already. Take what you would have spent on donuts, muffins, and bagels and donate it to your local soup kitchen. #112) There is nothing “semi” about a vacation. Learn to unplug and not feel guilty about it. #113) “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you…Not Much!” ~Jim Rohn #114) Design and build your own Respect Radar; it will help you figure out whether or not you’re going to get along with someone. #115) We don’t need more rules to keep employers in check. We just need employers to value, trust, and rely upon HR. #116) There is nothing more inane than an Executive Office Suite. Board it up and mix with the masses. #117) Recruiting military veterans is one thing. Retaining them is another entirely. #118) Management is HR’s best Neighborhood Watch Committee. It’s HR’s duty, though, to teach them what to look for and what to do with it. #119) Does your organization have a Civility Code? It probably needs one. #120) HR should make sure the company observes, honors, and participates in Martin Luther King Jr. Day. #120) You are NOT an employee advocate. If you are an advocate for anyone or anything, it’s your employer. #121) Blah Blah Blah. #122) The Red Pensil Mentality suggests most people (and employees) will focus on the one thing that’s wrong versus the twenty things that are right. That mentality is alive and well in HR…and probably more than anywhere else. It’s not that you make the mistake, it’s what you do with it. #123) Head nodding is for suckers. Shake it every now and then. #124) Job security is no longer about ‘busy’. It’s about ‘relevant’. #125) Pretty much everything you do today can and will be done by a computer in ten years or less. Figure out a way to make yourself indispensable. #126) If you don’t like the food, get into the kitchen. Otherwise, you have absolutely no right to complain about it. #127) Pretty much every business strategy or process can be managed through a foursquare model. #128) If you are an Executive Administrative Assistant, stop being such a rhymes-with-bitch. #129) Customize the employment experience to the individual, not the organization. #130) A diversity strategy based on numbers or statistics is a slippery slope. #131) I honestly don’t care if you’re God’s gift to whatever product you sell or service you deliver. I’ll take inferior skill or intellect over your deadbeat behavior any day of the week. #132) We  have more HR professionals than ever (in total and as a percentage of the country’s workforce). Why the hell do EEOC employment discrimination claims continue to increase (also in total and as a percentage of the country’s workforce)? Disconnect? Hmmm. #133) When someone transitions to manager for the first time, chances are they’re going to need some serious help on the one thing they’ve never really done: lead. Be deliberate about that. #134) Stop trying to choose the job you love. Love the job you choose.

#135) Wanna add value? Execute. Wanna execute? Become the best project manager you can. #136) Let it go. Most of the stuff you think you can control you don’t. Give it up. Forgive. Forget. Move on. #137) It’s hard to design comprehensive HR solutions without also thinking about the marketing, finance, operations, and IT ramifications.

#138) Collaboration and consensus are not necessarily the same things. #139) Often the best answer is the easiest one. #139) Finding the best answer is only half the battle. The harder half is sometimes convincing others it is the best answer.

#140) It’s a ‘slippery slope’ to try and solve for problems that aren’t really there. Stay focused and on-p0int. #141) We have a lot to learn from one-another. #142) Be careful about putting too much credence in “HR Trend Reports”

#143) Empower your leaders to make the decisions they are being paid to make, and give them permission to do so without involving everyone and their mothers. #144) What are you doing to visibly, and vigorously, and passionately support and promote your profession? #145) Give your employees the permission to bend and even break the rules if it means preserving the broader (and more important) company mission and vision.

#146) Next time a vendor tells you this is a “best practice,” put your best smirk on and ask “says who?” #147) Next time some stupid magazine gives you a list of “best places to work,” go get a grain of salt. #148) Next time a recruiter tells you “this is the best candidate,” make sure it’s by your standards and not theirs.

#149) Trust yourself. #150) Looking for talent? How wide do you cast your net? #151) Are you appropriately frustrated?

#152) If you’re only pulling candidates from the same (large) field everyone else is pulling from, how the hell are you really differentiating your company? #153) Time and Place matter when it comes to Training. #154) Employees don’t want to trust us, they can’t think we care – doing so would make them too vulnerable.

#155) I think, therefore I am diverse. #156) The Business of America is no Longer Business. #157) Clueless Loves Company.

#158) Recruiting 2.0+ has made it very easy for your employees to look for a better job on your dime. #159) If you’re an HR professional, you belong to the HR community. Appreciate it. Support it. Or get out. #160) Your workforce is increasingly mobile – is your HR technology increasing mobile?

#161) Set your expectations low and they’ll be exceeded every time. #162) Wanna stay plugged into the HR community? Subscribe to the leading HR blogs. #163) American compensation ‘experts’ have utterly failed at managing executive comp for corporate America.

#164) HR is the place where (a lot of) smart goes to die. #165) Full-time employees aren’t the only talented resource out there; but I bet your organizational structure says they are. #166) Have a secret ambition to be unpopular.

#167) When you start your job, you aren’t starting from zero. You’re starting from negative one. After one year, you’re at zero. Trust me on this. #168) If every employer in the U.S. hired one more employee than they have now, we’d fix this economic crisis. #169) Maybe it’s time we spend less time worrying about our employees who aren’t thrilled with their jobs and spend a lot more time hiring employees who would be thrilled to have one!

#170) So stop commissioning work, get out of the way, and let your employees drive. #171) “Beware a man of one book” (at work) #172) Old School CEOs need a good shushing every now and then.

#173) You will never revolt against the workplace because either 1) you are a glutton for punishment, b) you are a pansy, 3) you are in fact shackled to your desk, 4) none of the injustices you relentlessly bark about really and truly bother you all that much. #174) Watch for the telltale signs that your workplace/employer has begun its descent. #175) “The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a [workplace] that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” Let’s change that!

#176) Why all the books on becoming a better manager/employer? How about a few on becoming a better employee? #177) Take the time to thank those who have had an impact on your career along the way. #178) Be really careful of “Organizational Trump”: the organization’s sense of self takes precedent to the employee’s individual sense of self.

#179) If you wear a Kimono to an interview, open it. #180) If you’re not portraying what it’s really like to work in your organization to the public, your credibility is null. #181) When it comes to sourcing, maybe the question should be “how few candidates do we want to put into the funnel” rather than “how many candidates do we  have to put into the funnel.”

#182) Don’t let the rest of the organization determine your brand, HR. You’re responsible for building that brand on your own…do so deliberately. #183) Authenticity in influence is about genuinely caring for and being passionate about what it is you’re trying to influence. #184) Don’t tell someone how “passionate” you are. People want to hear you talk about what you do in a passionate way; but they don’t want you to proclaim yourself “passionate.”

#185) How much time, energy, and money do you spend analyzing the purchase of a $250,000 piece of equipment? Now how much time, energy, and money do you spend analyzing candidates for a $250,000 position? Do you expend comparable resources for each? You should. #186) Outsourcing is about letting go; it’s about exhaling again. Give up that HR back office. Now! #187) Implement change and drive HR transformation at work not because you’re a good planner, but because you’re not.

#188) If you ask yourself only one question (as an employee or employer) every year, it should be “What am I going to do to make work suck less this year.” #189) Yes, we’re “HR”. But we are first and foremost employees. That should always be our first frame of reference. #190) Another easy way to make an impact as a leader: remember people’s names.

#191) Are you a hoarder of institutional knowledge? Give it up. #192) Does an HR professional have to be in the building to “get a seat at the table? #193) ‘Anonymous Feedback’ is Performance Management’s Biggest Oxymoron.

#193) When a machine is broken, it loses its purpose. When a man loses his purpose, he is broken. #194) The Executive Suite will always have a different idea about how HR should be managed. And that’s why they aren’t in HR. #195) Need a Purple Squirrel? Get a Sourcer.

#196) Want change to stick? Make it personal. #197) Stop pretending our job is to make every human being live up to their greatest potential. That’s an interesting aspiration, but it’s not our job, dammit. #198) You are an entity; is that entity you?

#199) Sing your praises in public. #200) Sometimes you just have to pick one and go for it. #201)  When HR and the business leaders are too closely partnered HR might just lose its edge.

#202) Do you think you have any control over what your past, current, or future employees do or say about your company? Think again. #203) The beauty of blogging is that everyone has a voice. Just make sure it’s your own voice. #204) If we could all just get more comfortable with the notion of “diversity of thought,” maybe we wouldn’t go from zero to ‘hate’ as quickly as do.

#205) Take some risk to manage risk. #206) Social Recruiting is not about companies finding candidates; it’s about candidates finding companies. #207) Most companies are fat with employees – they just have too many of them. Lose the (unnecessary) weight.

#208) You are only as beholden to your employer as they are to you. You should always be looking for a job. Always. #209) Diversity Programs and Affinity Groups are important to heightening awareness to non-business based bias. But their aim should never eclipse results and performance. #210) When it comes to Recognition, nothing is bigger than the little things.

#211) Stop agonizing over saying ‘sorry.’ Just say it. #212) Your Employee Orientation should specifically contemplate the employees you’re orienting. #213) If nothing else, do it because I’m the boss and you are not.

#214) Our future does not depend on our ability to come up with the next big thing. It depends on our ability to make the next little thing better.

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Truth be told, I’m not really as good at this as I’d like to be. But this got me thinking (momentarily). Why was she compelled to qualify her time-off as “semi”?  Maybe to unload some guilt, maybe just to act the martyr. I see this behavior all the time, though. How often have you heard some semblance of “I’m going to be on vacation next week, but I’ll be plugged in.” Plugged in? W…T…F. Some will say, “it’s just easier to stay connected because it’ll otherwise be too much to come back to.” That sounds like death by a thousand pin-pricks to me. Masochism!

Why do we feel this way? Are we required to justify our time away from the office? Do we really feel guilty or are we just playing the game? Does this make us feel weak? Are we afraid someone will take our jobs if we’re gone? Unfortunately, senior leaders in the organization – the ones who are supposed to set the tone – are typically the ones most apt to act this way. Which means it’s an endless cycle.

So help break the cycle. Next time you go on vacation, recite the following to anyone who will listen:

1)      I’m not going to be in the office for the next [insert time frame] because I’m taking some well-deserved vacation time.

b)      I worked really hard to wrap up open items and loose ends before signing off

3)      I’m pretty sure anything that comes up between now and then can wait until I get back

4)      I’m going to put my Blackberry in my sock drawer and won’t hear it ring, buzz, or vibrate at all

5)      None of this means I don’t love my job, it just means I also love my life

f)      It’s important that I really disconnect from this place so I can totally recharge and come back with a bang – ready to be productive and fully engaged in what I hope will be a long career here

7)      I’m grateful that you care enough about my health and well-being to let me take this uninterrupted rest

8)      Thanks so much for your patience and understanding…and then…

Seeeeeeeeeeeeeee yaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Image Credit: Elect Wellness

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Alright, wait a second, let me take that back. I’m actually happy for you. I mean that’s really cool that you can actually have “affection for…take great pleasure in…[maybe even] require” something that you are “expected or obliged to do” or something that is “your duty; responsibility.” I once thought it was absolutely impossible to truly love a job. It seemed amiss…like it just wasn’t meant to be. Now I’m not too sure. I’ve run into a lot of people – as I’ve greatly expanded my network and exposure over the last couple of years – who I think actually love their jobs. Almost as if it was at their core. Are they faking it? Some…yes. Are some fooled? Sure. But all of them? No, I don’t think so.

Part of my problem is that I tend to view love as a finite resource…only so much to go around. And if that’s the case, why the hell would I use all of my love up on my job? But maybe that’s not the case. Maybe love really is boundless. Maybe I can really love my family, my dog, the beach, smoked baby back ribs…and still have enough for my job. I mean, I already “get tremendous satisfaction” from my job. I’m already “passionate about it.” I’m certainly “in-like with it.” What’s so wrong with loving it? Why couldn’t I work at and commit myself to loving it? Well, there are some risks to loving. I suppose ‘loving your job’ can start to border on cultish at some point. I suppose it can start to interfere with other (more important) relationships. It could become all consuming…a drug, or a mistress. And then there’s the chance I’ll just get let down at some point…left in the dust. The French Proverb, “love makes time pass; time makes love pass” sometimes rings all too true. And even if it doesn’t pass, it sure can be volatile…exhausting even. Lynda Barry said, “love is an exploding cigar we willingly smoke.”

The other problem is that I’ve spent a lot of time running around looking for the right job opportunities that may just lead to love. Like it’s the job’s fault I don’t love it. Now that I reflect on it, that doesn’t seem very fair. Francesca Aguado warns us that “if you spend your life trying to find the perfect ‘one’, you’ll find it too late.” Maybe it’s futile – the ‘perfect’ job doesn’t really exist. It’s what we make of it…it’s how we learn to love it. Like an arranged marriage, almost. Or in the timeless words of Crosby Stills and Nash, “love the one you’re with.”

I don’t know. Love is confusing. And it’s hard. I’m still not sure I’m ready to grant that precious emotion to my job. But I’m going to stop judging you for loving yours. After all, “if [you] love…what business is it of [mine]?”*

*Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Image Credit: 49th-parallel

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I went to a luncheon for my HR network where a local CEO spoke on the qualities needed in human resources professionals. Here’s what I walked away with…

• Know when to say ‘Yes’ and ‘No’. Can you image how effective we would be as HR professionals if we could learn to say those two little words – at the right time – with good reason and support? Image how many situations we could avoid or opportunities could create.
• Be a problem solver. Let’s be the ones that the C-Suite can go to in order to get things done. Business is changing and we need to have the acumen to change with it. Start by figuring out how something can get done rather than why it can’t.
• Articulate. When we deliver news – good or bad – let’s do it with confidence and clarity. As with punctuation, learning to communicate based on situational dynamics can save someone.
• Empathize with employee needs. So often we become the last hope for employees. They may be facing a first offense or a final warning, but either way we should be sensitive to their needs.
• Protect the company from harm, but stretch it just the right amount. Know your organization’s limits and make sure its always pushing up against them. Otherwise, performance is sub-optimal.
• Over deliver. This doesn’t mean sandbagging. It means giving not only what’s expected, but also offering up just a little bit more. That ‘little bit more’ is what will make us exceptional.

I believe any combination of these 6 simply intuitive qualities will make us greater assets to our organizations, our customers, and our employees. What say you?

Image Credit: Caption of the Day

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I hustled from Atlanta Hartsfield this afternoon so I could make it to the 2012 SHRM Annual Conference and Exposition in time to see the opening address from Condoleezza Rice. Her resume looks twice as good as yours (or mine) ever will. And this is not by accident. More on that in a second…

Hank Jackson, President of SHRM, kicked the conference off with his words of wisdom for our fine profession. He told us that the new SHRM HR Competency Framework will be unveiled this week. He said a bunch of other stuff. And then he said [I paraphrase], “HR has a seat at the table; in fact, they own that seat. But now HR needs to focus on getting that seat at the head of the table.” I actually kind of like this. How many heads of companies or boards of directors do you know who cut their teeth in HR? Exactly. But here’s the big question: Why? Is it because most in the  HR profession don’t want that seat? Is it because most in the profession want it, but don’t try? Is it that we try, but are rebuked? Or is it because we very simply aren’t capable? I, for the record, don’t think it’s the latter. I don’t in know which one it is…it’s probably all of them. But I do know one thing for sure: no one is going to go over pull out that chair and give it to you. No one. You (we) will have to earn it.

When Dr. Rice was a young girl, her wise parents said to her, “you are going to have to be twice as good as everybody else [to get ahead in this world].” They said this because she was growing up during a time when blacks…and girls…had the odds stacked against them. And so she did. She worked twice as hard and she was twice as good as everybody else. And then she became the U.S.’s 66th Secretary of State. HR, our plight isn’t anywhere close to what minority women have faced in our lifetime.

But we’ll still need to be twice as good as everybody else to get that seat at the head of the table.

Image Credit: rustman (via Compfight)

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I rant. It’s what I do. But whether it shows or not, I recognize that I’m just one voice among many. And I (really) like it when someone is willing to shout back with theirs.  I published a post this week about the dangers of resigning too much of one’s self to Vendors when blogging from conferences. I did so knowing that one PR Firm in particular had already committed to providing their counter-argument to mine. And so today – as promised – Jackie Abramian tries to get all persuasive in here. Jackie is a seasoned PR practitioner and currently consulting for BridgeVIew Marketing a full-service agency based in Portsmouth, NH, providing media relations, marketing, web development and demand-generation services to the world’s leading technology, clean energy and green data center companies. The following post from Jackie is published in its entirety without any editing on my part.

Having been in the PR world for 20 years, I’m always providing interview sources for editors, analysts and bloggers about new tools/services/products that would, in one way or another, benefit their readers.  After all, the media and bloggers are looked upon by their readers as sources of “knowledge”, pontificating upon the latest and greatest offerings. In retrospect, I find nothing presumptuous about it.

I assume most media, analysts, and bloggers who decide to attend conferences and tradeshows are in search of new innovations to showcase on their venues first. It’s the PR practitioner’s job to assist journalists and bloggers by putting these innovations on their radar—making their job a little easier because they do not have to wonder aimlessly about the show floor in a quest to find the Holy Grail of the latest product or service. OK, I admit, the “Holy Grail” of innovations does not come along too often— I typically reserve that label for items such as the iPad, Twitter and Facebook.  However, coming from the journalism world myself, I make sure that I do not dish out “puff” and always address editors and blogger by name, as I did with this blogger.

Case-in-point: In pitching SHRM attendees about my client ALEX, the virtual employee benefits counselor and their cloud-based employee benefits communications tool, I honed in on  compelling points relative to how the tool is changing employees’ attitudes toward sitting through boring benefits meetings.  In addition, I assumed that if Employee Benefits News included ALEX in their April 15 cover story, then respected HR Bloggers would be interested to know about the tool and how cumbersome HR communications and confusing insurance jargon can be transformed into a unique exchange of personal information. Now that’s something different!  I bet most HR and benefits folks would love to know how the tool can streamline their work and improve results.  It seemed many bloggers attending SHRM were “very interested” in scheduling a briefing to learn more – and not hung up on Google pagerank.

Indeed, workshop and panel presenters at these events are experts, and writers gravitate toward these people for content. However, as journalists, you shouldn’t gravitate toward stage presence alone.  You should continue to still seek out vendor booths with hidden content/gems.

I appreciate this opportunity and the forum to present a different view.  The forces of PR and media may forever remain locked in a love/hate relationship, but there are mutual benefits to sharing information. And to Bloggers who commented on Charlie’s warning, and said they already scheduled vendor briefings – good for you for mining knowledge that you can share with your readers. You are as valued as the knowledge you share.

Image credit: procsilas (via Compfight)

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I dig it when a TrenchHR pro takes the time to send me a guest post. Some are testing their writing skills, others are looking for a place to spout off, and others are just interested in being part of the conversation. Either way, I’m happy to give them the platform. Michael Danubio is one of those guys who “[leads] by rolling up my sleeves”. He has the enviable job as the Director of HR for the Boston Red Sox (it’s my dream to do this for the St. Louis Cardinals). And he has some sound advice for the Human Resources Community…and particularly those in that community who can’t quite figure out where they fit into it all. Make sure to connect with Mike – he’s for real.

The plumber fixes a leaky pipe.  The engineer redesigns a congested highway.  The IT tech eliminates a computer virus.  What do these people have in common?  They use their skills to solve problems.  It sounds so obvious and it is easier said than done, but being part of the solution is what we as HR professionals must do in order to be respected and sought out by our business partners.  Think about it – anyone can process paperwork, teach a new hire orientation or make sure that employees get paid every two weeks.  While entirely necessary, with the exception of receiving a paycheck on time, none of these transactional things really matter to the business partners we are tasked with supporting.  What does matter is helping them attract, motivate and reward top talent, manage out poor performers and providing leadership development opportunities.  Why?  Because these elements of HR create a competitive advantage that adds value to the bottom line and increases your business partner’s ability to do their job and makes employees at all levels more productive for the overall benefit of the company.

Here are some simple ways to be part of the solution regardless of the HR discipline you practice:

1. Understand the business of the people that you are supporting.  You can’t effectively solve their business problems if you don’t understand their business.  Learn to speak about it in relevant terms such as revenues, margins and KPI.   In addition to financial statements, read the books, periodicals and industry publications that are relevant to the business you support.

2. Be visible and communicate frequently with your business partners.  Don’t hide behind your keyboard.  Attend staff meetings and off-sites, set up one on one’s with key leaders and make the most of those opportunities by having and expressing an informed opinion.

3.  Learn to live in the gray.  It is likely that the business you are supporting is not black and white and your approach to HR should not be either.

4.  Practice what you preach.  Weed out poor performers and build a strong team of highly capable HR practitioners.  Coach them and stretch them the way you expect your business leaders to coach and stretch their teams.

5.  Stand up for yourself and find your voice.  Respect your business partners but do not succumb to their every whim.  Let it be known that HR has evolved from a personnel department full of order takers to strong teams of strategic business leaders.

So take these tips and in every situation always be thinking about the business problem you are trying to solve.  I have found that this has made me more effective, more productive and more valuable to the company and the talent I support.

Image Credit:  Brennan G Wills

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For the third consecutive year, I’ll be attending The Society for Human Resources Management (SHRM) Annual Conference and Exposition as a member of the Press Corps. Each year, the Blogger contingent in the Corps grows. That’s a really good thing – thanks, Curtis Midkiff! For those of you playing this role for the first time, here’s some free advice.

By now you’ve received innumerable Email requests with slick and silky invitations to meet with the Chief-What-Have-You of this or that company. They all contain promises of fireside chats around the newest or best way to turn Talent Management on its head. Yes, some of them are tempting – particularly because you’re feeling a bit sought-after. But if you’re not careful, you’ll look up to find these briefings have consumed your entire conference experience. This happened to me…once.

Here’s an excerpt from a response I recently sent to a Public Relations Company that addressed me as “Dear Blogger” and explicitly requested I write a blog post about their client. The PR Firm and its client, by the way, each have lower Google Page Ranks than HR Fishbowl.

“I’ve found that my readers have very little interest in the vendor briefings I cover and write about. And, quite frankly, the benefits to these briefings are terribly one-sided: if published, you/your clients get some props, SEO, and free publicity. Rarely have I received anything more than a “thank you” in return. And that’s fine with me when I’m covering a topic unencumbered by commerce, hidden agendas, or competing priorities – I would expect nothing more. But when covering a for-profit venture with really only one end in mind (PR), it seems mighty presumptuous…don’t you?”

Yes, these vendors help make this conference possible and, yes, the Public Relations Firms are just trying to do their jobs. It sure would be nice, though, if they did it with a bit more class: take a little time to get to know us, our blog, and our platform; (really) make the connection between our point-of-view and your client’s; ask how you can help us; spread the love; engage. At least make a genuine attempt.

Here’s the more important aspect of this, though. Spending your time sequestered in the Press Room interviewing vendors amounts to holing yourself up in your parent’s dark and dank basement playing Xbox all night with a bag of pork rinds and a two-liter bottle of pop. It’s narrow-minded and self-destructive; and the opportunity cost is really quite tragic. There are something like 200 separate content-rich sessions during the conference. While you can only hit one at a time, most of your readers can’t hit a single one. So why bore them with some poorly veiled sales pitch when you could be sharing some of the really juicy morsels more likely to come from the sessions and their presenters (who, incidentally, you should consider interviewing)?

This is only one side to this argument…it’s a damn good one, but it is only one. So in fairness to the PR Firms I’ve now taken a jab at, I’ve invited one of them to publish their persuasive argument to the contrary right here on HR Fishbowl. And she agreed to do it. Check it here: https://hrfishbowl.com/2012/06/vendors-blogger-locked-love-hate/trackback/

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I’m the first to admit that BIG innovation excites me. I like shiny objects as much as the next guy. But I’m even more intrigued by people who have found a way to take the seemingly un-innovatable and turn it on its head (and have the courage to do so). If you’ve never had the chance to read Blue Ocean Strategy, pick it up. It essentially maps out a game-changing business strategy rooted in tweaking a product or service just enough that it renders the competition irrelevant. It’s not about reinvention; it’s about incremental innovation. Dyson did it with the vacuum cleaner – something that took its modern form back when Hoover patented their first model in 1908. The technology remained relatively untouched until Dyson came along and tweaked it ever so slightly almost 90 years later. But he tweaked it enough to start a feeding frenzy. And then suddenly his competition was scrambling to catch up.

This is the kind of innovation we should be looking for in HR. Our future does not depend on our ability to come up with the next big thing. It depends on our ability to make the next little thing better: That much better that it starts to move the needle; that much better that people start to notice it; that much better that maybe it only helps one or two people..at first. If there is any cog in the wheel of business that should be all about incremental innovation, HR – in my humble opinion – is it.

I grew up with a guy named Jason Levine, a.k.a Fluency MC, back in The Lou. We went to school together through Junior High, lived a couple of houses down from each other. We hung in the school’s jazz band, and spent quite a bit of time lounging around listening to King Crimson on vinyl. I’ve really enjoyed watching Jason get all Blue Ocean with something that’s been around since the good King gave it to us – teaching people to speak English as a Second Language (ESL). You don’t have to be a linguist to recognize English as one of the toughest to learn – the rules are pretty much made to be broken. And the conventional classroom setting isn’t always the best at getting a student to grasp our crazy nuances. Jason recognized this, became an expert in field, put science, sound teaching principles, and a whole lot of talent and creativity together toward an innovative approach to making stuff stick. It’s catching on and it’s very cool (he just got back from a tour in Tunisia). His work has reminded me to think about the place for innovation in mine. So I would encourage you to watch the following video, follow him. And then innovate…slowly.

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