Home Shopping Queen

Scum of the Earth

2010-08-03T10:52:00.000-04:00

The last few weeks have been ... interesting. My grandmother just went through a horrible and humiliating experience.

Two of her grandchildren (my cousins) are currently serving in Iraq. She got a terrifying call from one of them in the middle of the night. He said that he was on leave and was in a car wreck. He was at the hospital injured badly--his mouth and face especially, which is why he sounded a little strange on the phone. He desperately needed some money wired to him ... I'm sure you can guess where this is going. It was an elaborate scam to take her for all the money that she had in her bank account. It wasn't much, but it was all she had. She's 82 years old and in poor health. How evil do you have to be to prey on elderly relatives of people serving in the military? It's disgusting! So now she is left humiliated and broke. The whole thing just breaks my heart.

I don't think that there any way to get the money back. She did report everything to the police once she realized that she had been conned. My grandmother has always been an intelligent, proud, and independent woman, so I think the entire ugly episode has affected her spirit more than anything. Being looked upon by cops, relatives, and anyone who read the local paper as old and easily confused has hurt her more than losing the money. In any case, even if those despicable people are caught, the money is probably long gone by now.

After dealing with that, I had lots of home and work life to catch up on. Not to mention planning all the curriculum for the upcoming school year! (I homeschool my son for those of you who may not know.)

So if you emailed me and didn't hear back, I should be getting in touch with you shortly.

And by the way, I have an amazing interview with one and only Charles Winston that I will be posting soon!

Standing Out in the Rain with Joan Rivers

2010-07-09T12:47:00.000-04:00

(Note: There are what some would consider spoilers in this movie review. So if you want to see the movie completely "unspoiled," don't read any further!)

With my 100-calorie white cheddar popcorn bags safely tucked away in my purse, I was finally on my way to see the new documentary, Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work. I knew that if I didn't sneak in a quasi-healthy snack option with me I would either cave and buy the movie theater hypertension-in-a-bucket popcorn with extra squirts of buttery flavored cholesterol or I would sit there miserable listening to the torturous sounds of everyone else blissfully munching away.

The theater was filled with innocent-looking grey-haired ladies wearing cluster rings on their fingers and cardigan sweaters draped over their shoulders. But looks can be deceiving. Those little old ladies might be sweet, pie-baking grandmas, but by the sounds of their giggling and guffawing, they loved a raunchy Joan Rivers' vagina joke just as much as the gaggle of gay men sitting two rows down from me.

After approximately twenty seven previews and commercials, the movie opened with an extreme close-up of Joan getting her makeup on. Joan baring her naked face--flaws and all--set the tone for the entire movie.

Although Joan is innately funny, she stresses how hard she works to create her seemingly off-the-cuff humor. Jokes don't write themselves and she doesn't have a team of writers working for her. Never comfortable resting on her laurels, she is constantly writing new material and trying it out every week in a hole-in-the-wall New York comedy club. And every joke Joan has ever written is typed up and literally filed away in a card catalogue organized by topic. You never know when you might need to find a prostitute joke in a hurry!

Like Liberace, Joan lives in a gilded, glittering palace … or as she puts it, how Marie Antoinette would've lived if she had money. Gaudy? Yes. But could you picture Joan living in a three-bedroom, two-bath brick ranch-style house decorated with Rooms-To-Go furniture? I think not. Joan says that working her ass off to support her lavish lifestyle is worth it to her since she loves her "creature comforts." Not mention that she's also supporting a large staff, her charities, family members, and she even pays to send some of her employees' kids to private school. That's a heavy load for such a tiny lady to carry.

Joan also claims to have a deep-seated need to constantly work in order to feel fulfilled, loved, and valued as a person. She will not turn down any paying job no matter where it is or how undignified the work might be. Her biggest fear is an empty date book.

Joan is keenly aware that she has become the butt of plastic surgery jokes. And while I understand her critics, at least Joan freely admits to it! Just in home shopping land alone, there is a plethora of nipped, tucked, sucked, and injected hosts and spokespeople who refuse to admit that anything other than a magic potion (which is available for 5 easy payments of $19.99, by the way) melted the years away. No man has ever told Joan that she was beautiful. Apparently that insecurity coupled with the pressures of show business have fueled her fetish.

But all the plastic surgery can't stop the sands of time from slipping away. The older you get, the people in your life who can remember the big milestones and the silly inside jokes begin to dwindle until no one is left. Sharing your memories keeps the people you love and the memories you cherish alive in your heart and at seventy-five, Joan is finding that there just isn't anyone left anymore who can "remember when …" with her.

Unfortunately for me, the documentary didn't focus much on Joan's jewelry line or her QVC visits. I was hoping for some interesting behind-the-scenes tidbits. Honestly, what would QVC be today if it weren't for Joan Rivers?

I will not call her an icon, a trailblazer, or a mentor since that would only piss her off. I will say that she is a brilliant comedy writer and performer who has made her own luck through a helluva a lot of hard work and perseverance.

Lightning might not strike often, but--as Joan would advise--if you want to get hit, you gotta stand out in the rain.

Queen Bea's Rotten Vacation from Hades and Other Fun Tales!

2010-07-02T12:59:00.019-04:00

Barnacles on the pier

So I'm back from my vacation and about as caught up on emails and laundry as I can probably ever hope to be. It never ends, you know!

To put it as politely as I possible can, this vacation sucked.

I've never been a big fan of vacations in general--they're expensive, take forever to plan, take longer to recover from, and usually prove to be more stressful than just getting up and going to work. My idea of the perfect vacation involves staying at a nice hotel with tasty (albeit probably ridiculously expensive) room service a stack of all those books I haven't had time to get around to reading and another stack of movies. I wouldn't have to cook, clean, be anywhere at a certain time, or take care of anyone else. Oh, to dream the impossible dream!

That, however, was not my vacation. The family wanted to go to the beach. In order to avoid tar balls and oil slicks, we decided to head to Myrtle Beach in South Carolina. I found a small hotel that had an oceanfront room, which would let us bring the dog along for the trip (she loves to travel and I hate having to board her.)

So far, so good ... but then we got up before the crack of dawn in order to hit the road early. We probably at least should have waited until the sun came up.

Since it was so early and we were just walking from the front door to the car sitting in the driveway, my son decided to walk in his bare feet. He was planning on going right back to sleep anyway, so why bother, right? Wrong. Tragedy ensued when his foot landed squarely on the decapitated head of a rotting mouse. Apparently, one of my cats sneaked outside and caught himself a tasty snack--generously leaving the remnants for us as a present on the porch! As Rachel Ray would say, Yum-O!

Have you ever tried to wash the smell of rotting mouse head off the foot of a screaming child at five in the morning? It's good times, folks.

View of the beach from the pier.

The dead mouse head pretty much set the tone for everything that followed. It was roughly 100 degrees, 100% humidity, and zero cloud cover. Basically, if you weren't in the water at all times, you were frying like a piece of greasy bacon. I feel like I spent most of my time in the hotel room bent over the bathtub trying to hand wash all the sand and salt out of everything.

On a positive note, evenings on the beach were pleasant and there were a handful of highlights to the trip. 1) I got to try the buffalo chicken pizza at Ultimate California Pizza, which was awesome and totally worth cheating on my diet. 2) The fireworks display shot off from the pier right outside our balcony was great and much more than I expected. 3) Visiting the QVC Outlet.

QVC Outlet at Myrtle Beach.

Oh, yes, Queen Bea never stops working! You know I had to take the opportunity to see and touch all that amazing, amazing, amazing QVC merchandise for myself.

There were tons of kitchen things--Temptations (or however it is that they like to spell it), Cook's Essentials cookware, and even some of the expensive Polish stoneware. I even got to visit a Keurig they were selling. I missed my Keurig terribly!

There was a ton of clothes, but of course the extra long rack of sparkly Quacker Factory apparel was impossible to miss. All the usual suspects were there--Dialogue, Motto, and Susan Graver--along with a smattering of the designer duds. And I don't care what the Q says, the sizing is NOT uniform even within a particular line. I don't even know if it's possible to have perfectly uniform sizing. Women's bodies and the fashions that clothe them are just too complicated for a standard set of numbers to apply to everything.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot. Surprisingly (to me anyway) there was quite a bit of Spanx for sale. I do love those body shapers, but I was in no mood to deal with Lycra.

I don't know if everyone is returning their Birkenstocks or if they're clearing out old stock or what, but the Q Outlet hit the freakin' Birkenstock mother load. I have also never seen so many Birkenstocks in one place before! And the prices were good too. If you're in the market for some hippie sandals, it's the place to go.

There wasn't much in the way of beauty products other than Ojon. Although after all the uproar over reselling used cosmetics, the Q probably wants to steer clear of that category completely.

There was a good selection of purses and probably worth a visit for all those hardcore Dooney collectors. And let me tell you, those B. Makowsky purses that have become ubiquitous on QVC really do feel like butter--battuh! I don't know if he massages cocoa butter on his cows every day or what, but it is truly some amazing stuff.

Of course, I had to hover around the jewelry counter for an inordinate amount of time. I think that I drove the nice jewelry ladies crazy. I really hate bothering them, but they set it up so that you have to ask them to take out each piece one by one. They were very sweet and helpful though. Like Judith Ripka always says, you have to play with your jewelry! There was a little bit of everything, but it seemed like the more expensive the designer, the less of it they carried. Or maybe the good stuff just goes fast?

The huge QVC sign over the bathrooms pointing you to where the Q store actually is. Queen Bea allegedly went into the bathrooms looking for QVC.

I finally settled on a cute pair of Veronese dangly earrings. Cute earrings that don't cost a bloody fortune are immensely good for Queen Bea's soul. And, Lord knows, I needed a little pick-me up!

The trip home involved not one, not two, but three major bumper-to-bumper, down-to-one-lane, might-as-well-put-the-car-in-park-cause-we-ain't-movin'-any-time-soon traffic jams. There were also multiple stops because people were having "digestive issues." I will spare you the details on that one. And the worst part was just trying to leave Myrtle Beach. We ended up getting caught in some heavy traffic--no, this wasn't one of the traffic jams, just congestion--in the blazing sun. The car's air conditioning just couldn't keep up and the dog nearly had heatstroke. Needless to say, it took forever to finally get home.

The ocean itself was beautiful, but I have no plans to be returning to the beach any time in the foreseeable future--or ever, for that matter!

(By the way, I do have a winner for the Float Life's a Beach Giveaway, but the winner will not email me back. If I don't hear from her today, I'll choose another winner. So if you entered, please check your email!!!)

Liza Bedazzles and Befuddles on HSN

2010-07-01T17:19:00.001-04:00

Not that I don't love Liza with a Z, but after watching last night's rather disjointed performance on HSN, I do believe Liza might be sharing a locker with Paula Abdul in the greenroom.

I'll give her this though, at least Liza refused to tow the home shopping party line by insisting that we all stack 27 bangle bracelets on each arm. Seriously Bobbi, sometimes one really is more than enough!

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted!

2010-06-19T08:51:00.000-04:00

Queen Bea is going on vacation, y'all!

I'm staying in an oceanfront hotel that's pet-friendly so I can even bring the pooch. I can't wait to watch her frolic in the waves for the first time and try to figure out what to do with a sand crab without getting her nose pinched.

My hotel will supposedly have free WiFi, so I might pop in from time to time--most likely on Twitter, so join me! (CLICK HERE)

In the meantime, don't forget to enter the FLOAT LIFE'S A BEACH GIVEAWAY so you can win your own hot beach accessories.

Will Charla Rines be Hosting on EmVee TV?

2010-06-17T11:44:00.000-04:00

Charla back in the day.

Oh, my darling Charla, how I have missed you!

In a world full of robotic, cookie-cutter hosts, she's a one-of-a-kind. And while I do realize that Charla might not be everyone's cuppa, I adore her off-the-wall antics coupled with that trademark gravely voice. I'll stop gushing, but if you'd like to read why I think she's "da bomb," click here.

Anyway, I had heard through the grapevine that Charla might be showing up at the new boutique shopping network, EmVee TV. All the cool kids from ShopNBC seem to be headed in that direction--the Ramsey's are already there and so is Pearlfection.

I wasn't sure if there was any truth to the rumor that Charla would finally be back on my TV set, but then she posted this on her Facebook:

well, i'm close to putting my mug back on air at a small start-up. if i can make this happen you ladies will have your luxury product back big time. all prayers welcome!!!

Here's hoping Charla! I can't wait to see you again.

Martha Stewart Moves from QVC to HSN

2010-06-17T09:09:00.000-04:00

Martha Stewart, with whom I have a rather complicated relationship, is packing up her pinking shears and moving from QVC to HSN.

While I was ecstatic back when I learned that Martha decided to bring her brand of unattainable perfection to QVC, I was completely bummed to learn that she would not actually be gracing us with her presence, instead opting to send a rep in her place (read my original rant here).

However, according to the Martha Moments blog, Martha Stewart will not only be appearing herself, but also providing an exclusive demonstration on HSN on July 19th to launch the Martha Stewart Crafts line.

I can't wait! I love the way she makes me feel completely inadequate for not using naturally multicolored eggs laid by my rare designer chickens that, of course, I raised myself in my custom-built chicken coup constructed from completely sustainable materials. I told you my relationship with Martha was complicated.

Is Heidi Montag Coming to QVC?

2010-06-16T18:01:00.000-04:00

Admittedly, I try not to keep up with what plastic-surgery-addicted celebutante Heidi Montag is doing to extend her never-ending fifteen minutes of fame; but rumors are swirling that she's trying to follow in Kim Kardashian's faux-tanned footsteps and parlay her "celebrity" into a stint on QVC.

According to Spoiled Pretty, Heidi has been looking for a place to hawk her dry shampoo ever since her short-lived stint on I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out Of Here last year. "Rumors surfaced that Heidi (Montag) Pratt had a deal with QVC to sell her upcoming line of dry shampoo. But when contacted by Access Hollywood, a QVC rep dismissed the rumor. "We currently do not have anything in the works with Heidi Pratt," the QVC rep said."

Honestly, I was ready to write off the whole Heidi dry shampoo QVC rumor as just a ridiculous rumor. I mean, surely not even QVC would sink that low! But then the infamous and all-knowing QVC message board poster "Godfreako"--who is always right and constantly getting banned--found this:

QVC Item# A202330 Heidi Montag Really Amazing Dry Shampoo (which isn't listed yet)

Of course, the post was quickly poofed by the QVC powers that be. Noooo, that's not suspicious at all.

So is there truth to the rumor? I would bet my unlifted bottom dollar that there is!

About the picture: Heidi Montag shows off her new beach body in a self-designed bikini as she hosts the grand opening of the Liquid Pool Lounge at the Aria Resort and Casino in Las Vegas. It is the first time the The Hills star and singer has been photographed in a bikini since undergoing 10 cosmetic procedures in one day late last year. The 23-year-old star underwent a mini brow lift, Botox in her brow and frownline area; a nose job revision; fat injections in cheeks, nasolabial folds and lips; chin reduction; neck liposuction; had her ears pinned back; a breast augmentation revision; liposuction on her waist, hips and inner and outer thighs; and a buttock augmentation.

(Hat tip to Godfreako ... whoever you are!)

Float Life's a Beach Giveaway

2010-06-15T14:18:00.001-04:00

Queen Bea is going on a beach vacation!!! Praise the Lord and pass the plate twice! I need to get away.

Even though I can't take all you home shopping beauties with me, I'm not gonna leave you empty handed ... well, at least one of you anyway (Sorry, I'm only a Queen, not an Oprah. I can't give everyone a car!)

Float Life, a new line of affordable, chic summer essentials, is debuting tonight on QVC. Previously only an exclusive boutique brand in Southern Florida, designer Ramona Senese is bringing a collection of summer must haves like tunics, cover-ups, swimwear and accessories. Already, the brand touts celebrity fans such as Paris Hilton, Ashley Tisdale and Kristin Cavallari, and has been seen on TV shows like "The Hills" and "Desperate Housewives.".

Float Life designer Ramona Senese combines her own hand-drawn, one-of-a-kind prints and beautiful designs with luxurious textiles from around the world. The light, flowing, silk and cotton blend apparel items are easy to wear and include exquisite details such as wooden beads and patterned linings. All apparel items are made in the USA (how hard is that to find these days?)

Enter to win the Carry All Tote and Reversible Hat in the Sand color and the Jacaranda sunglasses in White/Jacaranda Sunset. Check them out below:

Float Life Napali Carry All Tote

QVC Item # A199290

$38.64

This lightweight bag is perfect for those headed to the beach or pool for the day and hates to leave anything behind. Created to fit a beach towel or even a beach blanket with ease and still have room for any guilt pleasures you want! The durable, zippered, snap out pocket is perfect for any valuables and details such as durable rope handles, faux leather trim and canvas lining in the bag itself make it a lust and a must item! Available in Sea Grape, Sand or Ocean (you are receiving it in Sand).

Float Life Reversible Napali Printed Cotton Hat

QVC Item # A199291

$24.56

This reversible printed cotton hat is perfect for keeping shady and stylish anytime in the hot sun. Available in three solid colors that reverse into a coordinating pattern, it fits easily into any bag and offers a unique alternative to a baseball cap while at the beach or out and about! Available in Sea Grape, Sand or Ocean (you are receiving it in Sand).

Float Life Jacaranda Sunglasses

QVC Item # A199287

$24.56

A summer must-have, these Jacaranda patterned sunglasses offer the best of both worlds – sun protection and beach style. Perfect for keeping a bit of laid-back-luxe throughout the year, these sunglasses provide UV 400 protection to help keep peepers safe from sun exposure yet the colorful coordinating patterns offer fun features to the side of your face! Available in Black/Jacaranda Blush, Plum/Jacaranda Jade or White/Jacaranda Sunset (you are receiving the White/Jacaranda Sunset color).

HOW TO ENTER:

Enter your name and email address below and hit submit. Seriously, that's all you have to do! You may enter up to one time per day from Tuesday June 15, 2010 through Tuesday June 22, 2010. Open to anyone at least 18 years old; however, items can only be shipped to addresses in the continental U.S. One winner will be selected at random. Odds depend on how many entries are received. Void where prohibited. Winner will be announced after Queen Bea gets back from the beach!!!!

Bob Bowersox Coming to ShopNBC

2010-06-14T18:07:00.000-04:00

Ever since Bob Bowersox suddenly left QVC with only a short ~~hostage~~ goodbye video, he has become quite the thespian and screenplay writer down in Key West--but we haven't seen hide nor hair of Bob in home shopping land.

But nobody puts Bob in a corner!

Keep your eyes peeled for Bob to make his first appearance on ShopNBC Thursday of this week. After that, he'll be making regular weekend visits. Key West to Minneapolis ... that's quite a commute.

HSN Launching New Shopping Channel HSN2

2010-06-14T11:22:00.000-04:00

Because we all need an extra helping of home shopping pie, HSN is launching HSN2.

HSN2 will be another 24-hour shopping channel offering "a curated assortment of encore airings of HSN's must-see shows, products, brands and personalities." Does this just mean re-runs? Like a bunch of You Tube videos cobbled together?

According to HSN:

For the first several months, the channel will focus on feedback from HSN2 viewers and customers and respond accordingly.

Programming for the new channel, which will be either complementary or counter to the programming on HSN, will be developed in unique and different ways to excite customers. The channel will also serve as a platform to test different ideas and develop new business opportunities for the company.

So basically they're gonna throw a bunch of spaghetti noodles on the wall and see what sticks. Perhaps they should try to offer something different that customers wouldn't expect to find on a home shopping channel--unique items from up-and-coming designers. Obviously they wouldn't want to waste HSN air time on unknowns (dollars per minute, y'all!), but they could certainly afford to take some risks on their little sister channel. Why not? There's already some smaller boutique-style home shopping networks like EmVee TV and Indie Shop nipping at their heels.

QVC tried this with The Fashion Channel and with Q2 with less-than-stellar results. And didn't HSN try this already with the "Television Shopping Mall?" What is going to make HSN2 different than all the other spin-off flops?

HSN2 will premiere on August 1 on DISH Network

ShopNBC Host Wendi Russo Crowned Mrs. Minnesota

2010-06-10T16:59:00.000-04:00

Corrado and Wendi Russo

Hot on the heels of being crowned Mrs. Minnesota America 2008, ShopNBC host Wendi Russo was recently crowned Mrs. Minnesota United States 2010.

According to the Mrs. Minnesota website:

Wendi Russo is the first woman to be crowned Mrs. Minnesota United States during its May 22, 2010 pageant in Lakeville, Minnesota. The Mrs. Minnesota United States pageant has not been held in the state for over a decade but has recently been acquired by Future Productions. The Mrs. Unites States pageant celebrates the accomplished married women of Minnesota in their careers, their marriages and contributions to their communities.

"I'm so proud to be the new titleholder for the Mrs. Minnesota United States Pageant. Co-Directors, Craig Heitkamp and Denise Wallace are highly respected in the pageant industry for being professional and kind. I am thrilled and honored to be a part of their family, representing Teens, Miss and now the Married women of Minnesota."

As a television hostess with Shop NBC, the premiere lifestyle shopping network, Wendi presents a large range of products, helping her viewers look and feel their best with the latest skincare, cosmetics, jewelry & fashion. A graduate from the University of Vermont with a degree in Business Administration; UCLA with a degree in Broadcast Journalism and an Accredited Jewelry professional with the Gemological Institute of America (GIA), Wendi was recently accepted into Bilmore's Who's Who Among Business Professionals.

Wendi has worked with a multitude of charities with a bent towards children, but her true passion is Mentoring. Wendi has dedicated her time to mentoring young girls on a one-on-one basis for over 10 years and plans to use her title to promote awareness of the enormous need for mentors for at-risk children through her appearances, speaking engagements and local media outlets. Growing up in a single parent home, Wendi knows first hand the importance a caring adult can make in a child's life.

"I've had mentors throughout my life and they are the ones who have believed in me and supported my dreams. They helped me become the person I am today and that's why I mentor--I know what a difference it can make."

An alumni and mentor with Big Brothers Big Sisters and a mentor, speaker and Ambassador for Kinship of Greater Minneapolis, a Christian Mentoring organization, Wendi has inspired hundreds to consider becoming mentors. Wendi is currently mentoring two young girls through ACES,( Atheletes Committed to Educating Students), an after school mentoring program that helps close the achievement gap by engaging inner- city youth in learning and service.

Wendi has been married for six years to Corrado Russo, a contractor in Eden Prairie, whom she met on her trip to the Amalfi Coast in Italy. Wendi has a beautiful 5-year old daughter and says her family is her "greatest achievement."

Check out Wendi's pictures here and keep tabs on her official appearances here.

Congrats!

Supermodel Christie Brinkley Bringing Jewelry Line to QVC

2010-06-10T16:31:00.000-04:00

According to the Ladies' Home Journal, Christie Brinkley, the seemingly ageless Cover Girl, is bringing her nature-inspired jewelry line, CeleBrate, to QVC.

You can take a look at her collection right now on Ross-Simons and ChristieBrinkleyJerelry.com.

Christie doesn't come to QVC to present the Total Gym (neither does Chuck Norris for that matter!), here's hoping she shows up to hawk her own jewelry. I just hate it when celebrities don't bother to show up to sell their own products. You gotta sing for your supper, y'all!

Is Patti Reilly Dancing with the Stars?

2010-06-03T07:11:00.000-04:00

Was just asked to submit a demo reel for DWTS. In shock, WOW!

Yesterday, Patti Reilly allegedly tweeted that she was asked to submit a demo reel for Dancing with the Stars. This tweet heard round the home shopping world caused mass mayhem on both the QVC message boards and Queen Bea's inbox.

But then the tweet in question disappeared. Or, as some would insist, did it ever really exist?

Since I didn't get a screen shot of the original tweet, I had to go in through the back door. Here is a screen shot of all the people responding to Patti:

So either all these people just suddenly decided to respond with their congratulations for no reason whatsoever, or the tweet really happened and Patti went back later to delete it.

Patti can always be counted on to stir the pot, can't she?

Crab Cakes Claw Their Way Back onto QVC

2010-06-01T11:23:00.000-04:00

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water … the crab cakes have returned to QVC.

The Chesapeake Bay Gourmet Crab Cakes were once considered the gold standard in crab cakes—even recognized by Oprah herself on her prestigious “O” List and by Baltimore Magazine as "the best mail order crab cake."

M&I Seafood (aka Chesapeake Bay) started as a family business back in the eighties. Husband and wife team Ron and Margie Kauffman got their small business off the ground by marketing their crab cakes to local supermarkets and slowly built up the business until they were grossing five million dollars a year a mere decade later.

But that’s when everything changed. They lost a major account in 1994 and revenue plummeted.

Enter QVC.

In 1995, QVC was running their 50/50 Tour—fifty states in fifty weeks with the twenty best products from each state getting their big shot to market themselves on the Q.

"There were rows and rows of folding tables," says Ron, recalling the event. "We brought the crab cakes and a portable frying pan, but I forgot the extension cord and had to run out and get one. Someone came by and tasted our crab cakes and said they might get back to us."

On October 22, 1995, Ron and Margie made their first QVC presentation, selling 24,000 crab cakes in ten minutes. By 2003, they had sold more than 14 million crab cakes on QVC and could produce up to 35,000 crab cakes a day in their facility.

But then the Kauffman’s sold the company to Astral in 2005. And that’s when the crab hit the fan.

Quantity took precedence over quality as cheap fillers replaced quality ingredients. And even tough they continued to tout that the crab cakes were “Made in the USA,” more and more low-quality crab was imported from Asia to use in the crab cakes. Customers complained that the "crap cakes" tasted horrible, smelled of ammonia, and barely had any crab in them. To make matters worse, fake “5 Star” reviews were discovered on the Chesapeake Bay products on the QVC website.

And then, not surprisingly, Chesapeake Bay disappeared from QVC.

In September 2009, the now bankrupt Astral Foods sold Chesapeake Bay Gourmet to Baltimore Crab Cake Company for $325,000.

Doug Beeman from Baltimore Crab Cake Co. said that the brand “lost some of its luster following its sale to Astral in 2005” and that he is “hoping to rebuild the brand and restore its dominance among the crab cake-eating public.”

And now, after all the complaints and controversy, those infamous crab cakes are back on QVC.

According to the new Chesapeake Bay Gourmet's new website:

Having been around for 25 successful years, we celebrate another transition — in name, from Chesapeake Bay Gourmet under Astral Foods to Chesapeake Bay Gourmet under the new Chesapeake Bay Crab Cake Company.

We marveled at the phenomenal growth experienced throughout the years. From humble beginnings in search of the perfect crab cake and supplying local seafood retailers to being chosen to represent Maryland during QVC’s 1995 “Quest For America’s Best” tour, to growing a mail-order business – and now solidifying our quality and integrity with new ownership dedicated to making the best crab cake commercially available.

While we became the most successful food purveyor on QVC, and continue to sell millions of our crab cakes through QVC, through our own website, in private restaurants and with our retail brand (Chesapeake Bay Brands), we are focusing on what made us successful: striving to provide every customer with the finest handmade seafood delicacies available. The glorious Chesapeake waters, the Bay area, and our relationships drive the quality and commitment we have in our cakes.

Now, as we got out from under a parent umbrella with our new ownership, Chesapeake Bay Crab Cake Company invites you to savor the taste and the tradition that has made us one of Baltimore’s Best! Oprah chose our recipe and hundreds of thousands of QVC customers agreed - but we welcome your opinion now!

So--except for the famous name--these new crab cakes really have nothing to do with the original, high-quality crab cakes or the bastardized cheap ones that followed. Whether this new incarnation will be good, bad, or ugly still remains to be seen.

However, if you are hankering for the original Chesapeake Bay Crap Cakes, the closet you're ever going to get is probably from a new company started by Ron and Margie’s sons, JD and Ron Jr., in June of 2009. Originally they were going to use the name Kauffman's Original Crab Cakes, but have since switched to Kent Island Crab Cakes.

The Kauffman brothers verified in a recent press release that the quality of their parents original crab cakes crumbled under the new owners:

Ron Kauffman, Jr.and his brother J.D. grew up within the Chesapeake Bay watershed in a crab cake making family that had begun three generations before, harvesting, picking, and forming the traditional Maryland style crab cakes. They understood, before they even knew they understood, the subtle interplay of flavors between the sweet briny Chesapeake Bay blue crab plucked live from the bay and the unique spicing from traditional Bay style seasonings.

The closely held Kauffman family recipe was a mixture of salt, cayenne, celery seed, sweet Hungarian paprika, dry mustard, black pepper, bay leaf, allspice, ginger, nutmeg, cardamom, and cinnamon. The family did not favor crab cakes that were adulterated with cheap fillers.

"The genuine Maryland style Crab Cake is often imitated, but never improved upon," says Ron Kauffman, Jr.

Success came to the Kauffman family from hard work and treating people right. Recently, the parents, Ron and Margie, decided to retire. They sold the business and began to enjoy their grandchildren.

As Ron Kauffman, Jr, tells it, "When our parents sold Chesapeake Bay Gourmet, the new owners chose to alter our old family recipe. These were not Maryland natives and they did not understand that crab cake aficionados know the difference."

"Soon, none of us in the family could even recognize these crab cakes. They substituted Asian blue swimming crab, because it was cheaper. They further diluted the recipe by using cheap ingredients thinking our customers wouldn't know the difference."

"But we know," continues J.D, "you can never fool a customer. At least not more than once. We grew up in this business. We know our customers and we have always considered them our partners."

"Our parents have taken a much needed rest but since we kept getting calls from our loyal customers, J.D., my wife Rachel, and I have formed a new company on the old principles of honest work, honest products, and reliable service."

I have to end this with this one rather important caveat: I hate crab! I don't eat fish or seafood and--as you can plainly read in my FAQ--I certainly don't like crab cakes. My Krabby Patty expertise on the matter stems from a different source:

Real Housewife Gretchen Rossi Coming to ShopNBC

2010-05-29T13:47:00.001-04:00

Real housewife Gretchen Rossi posted on her Bravo blog that she is not just a idle realty star resting on her stiletto-heeled laurels, but a hard worker who aims to create an empire for herself.

Gretchen has already launched her makeup line, Gretchen Christine Beaute (that's pronounced beau-tay, y'all), which has not been without controversy, and has mentioned plans to develop fashion and lingerie lines too.

According her website:

"I've been working on a very exciting new project for over a year now, and I am so excited to share the news with all my fans very very soon! It's been something you guys continue to request from me regarding my fashion!"

Like her fellow Real Housewife Ramona Singer who parlayed her reality fame into a jewelry collection on HSN, sources say Gretchen's exciting news is a new fashion collections launching on ShopNBC.

Since controversy follows Gretchen wherever she goes, in the very least she'll probably spice up ShopNBC and bring it out of it's watch-show doldrums.

Silvana the (former) Ojon Lady is Here to Pump You Up!

2010-05-27T08:03:00.000-04:00

Have you ever wondered what happened to Silvana, the Ojon lady with the lustrous, flowing hair?

After the divorce from Denis Simioni*, who you can still watch on QVC presenting Ojon Hair Care, Silvana dove into the world of competitive bodybuilding. And this isn't just a little "I teach aerobics down at the YMCA" hobby either. Silvana won the first two fitness & figure bodybuilding competitions she entered and has gone on to become a professional bodybuilder.

According to an interview Silvana did with SeriousAboutFitness.com, here’s what she had to say about her unique look:

I have people guessing my ethnicity all of the time. My mother is of Spanish decent and my father is Italian. Right away people assume I'm hot headed because of the reputation Italian and Spanish women have for being hot-blooded, but the opposite holds true for me. I'm a very calm and quiet person who borders on shyness. I've lived in Canada my entire life and grew up in Pembroke, Ontario, which is a small town outside Ottawa.

How she got started in competitive bodybuilding:

It is something I've always admired but I never thought I could get into the same kind of shape as the girls in the magazines. Last year, I was speaking with a friend who is in her early 40s and also has children. I was really inspired because she looked fantastic, and she mentioned that she would be competing later that summer. Right away, I went to her trainer and learned a lot about dieting, which was something unusual for me to do, because being from an Italian background I had always indulged in food.

And based on this quote, I’m pretty sure that she’s moved on since the divorce:

I'd like to thank my boyfriend, Adam Lychak, who trains and competes in mixed martial arts. He understands my needs when it comes to nutrition, dieting and training hard. His continuous support in and out of the gym makes it easier for me to achieve my goals.

Watch a video interview with Silvana by RX Muscle here. And check out a picture gallery of Silvana at one of her competitions here, here, here, and here.

*Divorce details coming up in the next post!

(hat tip to Cindy Tash)

HSN is a Cabaret with Liza Minnelli

2010-05-25T21:40:00.000-04:00

Liza at the Sex and the City 2 premiere wearing ... ummm ... well, I'm not exactly sure what that is. Hopefully it's not something from the new HSN collection! And, in all seriousness, what's going on with her boobs? They look like Barbie boobs!

Get your Fosse hands ready, y'all! Liza Minnelli will be debuting The Liza Collection on HSN June 30 and her appearance marks the kick off the big HSN goes to Sin City 33rd Birthday Celebration.

"My life has provided me the ability to amass a wonderful wardrobe designed by fashion's brightest stars," said Liza Minnelli. "I am excited to work with HSN in launching The Liza Collection and to have the opportunity to share my favorite looks with millions of women who want to look fabulous and feel their very best."

The collection will include many of Liza's signature looks--you know, the sequined suits and flowy pants. She will also be selling recreations of her personal jewelry collection.

The Liza Collection will debut at 10 p.m.–midnight EDT on June 30 at HSN and hsn.com. Retail prices for apparel will range from $29.90 for a Charmeuse Scarf to $129.90 for a Sequined Boyfriend Blazer and for jewelry from $39.95 for Silver-tone Triple Heart Pave Drop Earrings to $79.95 for a Silver-tone Pave Rose Bangle.

Liza is one of the few entertainers that has won an Oscar, a Tony, an Emmy, and a Grammy--where else does she have left to go but home shopping?

The Truth About Tony Little's Hair

2010-05-22T07:30:00.000-04:00

Twitter Contest: Win Santa Fe Shades and a Stardust Hat

2010-05-21T19:55:00.001-04:00

Ever wonder what happened to Amy from Motto on QVC?

Amy decided to leave her position representing Motto in order to spend more time with her family (no, not in the same way those sleazy politicians who are always resigning to “spend time with their families”). Amy is a wife and mom of three boys, two dogs and a goldfish. Her two youngest are still in elementary school, and Amy wanted to get more involved with their after school activities.

After taking 6 months off, Amy Jo Scaglione has joined the Physician Endorsed and Global Glamour family. So the good news is that she’ll be back on the air at QVC in the next few weeks. I spoke with the creator of the Physicians Endorsed brand, Elissa, about all the new changes.

So what exactly is Global Glamour?

It’s Physician Endorsed’s alter ego, born out of a love for all things accessories. Because the Physician Endorsed philosophy of 100% UV Protection precludes us from doing anything that is not UV rated, we decided to create Global Glamour Fashion and Global Glamour Home Accessories.

How did Amy come to represent your brands?

Amy and I have been "Green Room Friends" at QVC for many years. When I told her that we desperately needed a back up guest for Global Glamour (as Desiree our main guest is very pregnant with her first son--and in fact is in the hospital now awaiting his arrival!) She offered to pitch in, and things grew from there. I soon found out, she also loves accessories. In fact, she was heavily involved with the first "Head to Toe" show with Dan. She will also be helping to grow the Global Glamour product lines. Working with Physician Endorsed/Global Glamour allows her the flex time she needs to spend more time with her family.

In celebration of the new accessory line and Amy’s return to QVC, Queen Bea is giving away a pair of Physician Endorsed Santa Fe Sunglasses (coming soon to QVC) and a Global Glamour Stardust Hat.

Here's what you have to do:

1) Follow @QueenBea on Twitter. (You must have a Twitter account in order to follow someone.)

2) At some point before 10PM EST on Friday 5/28/10, tweet:

Follow @QueenBea and ReTweet to win a pair of #PhysicianEndorsedSunglasses and a #GlobalGlamourHat http://bit.ly/aH2wnZ

3) That’s all there is to it! Anyone can enter, but I will only count one entry per Twitter ID. I will randomly select a winner on Saturday, 5/29/10. Good Luck!

Say Goodbye to ShopNBC

2010-05-20T13:50:00.000-04:00

I don’t enjoy muddling through dense text filled with financial number, so here is the bullet point version of what ShopNBC reported for the 2010 First Quarter if you’re interested (if you're not, just meet me down at the first paragraph):

Although ShopNBC managed to get their average price point per item down from $144 last year to $108, this is still nearly twice as much as QVC’s average selling price.
Overall sales sank 6.6%, which ShopNBC primarily attributed to lower sales of electronics.
ShopNBC increased their net shipped units by 23%, up from 877,000 to 1.1 million.
E-commerce sales accounted for nearly 40% of all sales.
New customers went up 48% and active customers were up 30% .
ShopNBC had a net loss of $11 million, but this was down from last year's $15 million loss.
Watches continue to be a strong category.
Jewelry outperformed expectations, especially gold, diamond, gold-plated items, and colored gemstones.

So obviously the numbers aren’t looking good for ShopNBC, but what else is new? The real news from their first quarter results is the announcement that ShopNBC is being forced to change their name.

About ten years ago, a trademark licensing agreement was struck between NBC Universal and Value Vision (ShopNBC’s original name) that allowed Value Vision to use the NBC name and logo. However, the agreement expires next year and NBC Universal, which is being bought by Comcast, does not want to extend the agreement. This leaves ShopNBC without a name and without a logo.

On top of all that, NBC Universal also acquired over 6 million shares of ShopNBC in that licensing deal and they are currently making plans to sell all of it. TV retailing no longer fits in with their strategy. To make matters worse, another company under the same umbrella, GE Capital, owns another 6 millions shares of ShopNBC and they want to sell too. When the largest stakeholder in a company wants to sell, investors get a little nervous.

ShopNBC plans to gradually roll out the new, and as of now unknown, name on social media in the near future and then slowly incorporate the change to their website and finally on air by February. No name has been chosen yet, but there is a “short list.” Rumor has it that they will retain the “Shop” part of their name and tack on something new to the end. There are no plans to enter into another licensing agreement.

According to the Star Tribune, the roll out is intentionally slow:

[ShopNBC CEO Keith] Stewart said the company "learned from the past" after ValueVision burst onto the scene as ShopNBC in 2001.

"Customers puked all over the idea," Stewart said. "Sales were crimped for a few months. It's a long lesson we've learned many times over: Never take hard turns when dealing with the customer."

So where does this leave ShopNBC? What’s going to happen to their stock price now that NBC is selling their stake? Will the new name and logo be the beginning of a whole new and successful brand, or just the beginning of the end?

Get Out the Door with Mommy Makeup

2010-05-19T07:30:00.000-04:00

Have you ever tried to apply eyeliner with one baby screaming in the crib and the other frantically climbing up your leg?

After becoming a mom, New York City makeup artist Debra Rubin-Roberts realized that if she ever hoped to wear makeup again, she was going to have to re-think her entire makeup routine. Debra simplified the process by cutting out as many time-consuming steps as possible and focusing on a few multi-tasking products. She is also debuting her Mommy Makeup collection on ShopNBC this month. And that’s where I come in! This is Queen Bea’s review of Mommy Makeup’s “Out the Door Kit”:

What’s in the kit?

Mineral Dual Powder with SPF 15 in Lullaby

Small Kabuki Brush

Any Wear Crème in Twinkle

Just so you know where I’m coming from, I have very dry, sensitive, roseacea-prone skin--sounds lovely, doesn’t it? Anyway, since the makeup did not cause a rosacea flare up, I was able to give it a good trial run before I reviewed it.

The Mineral Dual Powder is a pressed mineral makeup. Unlike other mineral makeups, this one is in a compact instead of loose in a jar, so it’s not as messy. Per the instructions, I used the kabuki brush to buff the makeup all over my face. The kabuki brush picked up the product nicely and the bristles did not fall out like some others I have tried. There is also a foam pad included in the compact, but I don't recommend using that. The coverage is sheer, but buildable. However, I found it easier to add extra coverage to red areas first using my own small flat brush for application, allowing me to use less makeup on the rest of my face. The finish is not matte, but more luminescent and I did not notice the makeup settling into fine lines. I also checked the side of my nose, where my pores are the worst, and there wasn't any of that horrible “swiss cheese” look that some makeups cause.

The Any Wear Crème comes in a teeny, tiny jar, but that little jar will probably last forever. This product is extremely thick and pigment dense—trust me, you do not need much! The consistency is very similar to gel eyeliners. The idea of Any Wear is that you can use it anywhere—eye shadow, blush, and lips. The Twinkle color is a nude bronze with sparkle. If you don’t like sparkle, this is not for you. Honestly, with a name like Twinkle, what do you expect?

As eye shadow - Application is simple; you just smear a little on your eyelid with your finger. Depending on how much you use, the coverage can be completely sheer or opaque. However, I felt like I had to let my finger sit in the pot for a few seconds in order for the product melt a little. Probably a makeup brush would have helped to get the product out more easily. Once I got it on my lids, the eye shadow did not budge all day. In fact, I passed out and slept in it (don’t judge!) and it was still there in the morning. The next day, using my own brush, I decided to try it as an eyeliner. Once again, it went on smooth and lasted all day.

As a blush – Because this product is so dense and my skin is so sensitive, I had trouble spreading the Any Wear Crème on my skin without causing my cheeks to get all red and blotchy. You do have to work to spread it around evenly. On a positive note, I did like the highlight it gave my cheekbone.

As a lipstick - The first time I put this on as lipstick, I applied waaaay too much and my lips looked horrible! The next time I tried it, I just dabbed on just a tiny amount with my finger. Apparently, that's all you need. My lips looked so much better. They were a very subtle nude color, but due to the matte finish, I thought it looked best with just a little soft gloss on top. Keep in mind that Any Wear doesn't have the same staying power as a lip product as it does as an eye shadow and a blush.

Overall, the Mommy Makeup “Out the Door” kit gives you a very understated but iridescent look in not much time. If you hate sparkle, this probably isn't for you--not that I looked like a thirteen-year-old going to a Justin Bieber concert or anything! With the addition of some gloss and mascara, the “Out the Door Collection” could actually get you out the door quickly.

Mommy Makeup will debut on ShopNBC 5/20/10 at 11 a.m. and 7 p.m. EDT.

You can find Mommy Makeup:
Website: http://www.mommymakeup.com/
Twitter: http://twitter.com/mommymakeup
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Mommy-Makeup/86786773230
You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/user/MommyMakeup
ShopNBC: http://www.shopnbc.com/

This product was provided for the purpose of review.

Bob Bowersox has the Write Stuff

2010-05-17T11:19:00.000-04:00

So what has Bob been up to since he was so suddenly booted out of the Q kitchen last Christmas?

The Renaissance Man himself, Bob Bowersox, is currently working as an actor, director, and playwright at the People's Theater of Key West and the Red Barn Theatre. Most recently playing Juror #8 in 12 "Angry Men."

Bob is also facilitating a screenwriting workshop, and according to the Miami Art Guide, one of the plays he penned will be featured in the New Plays in May series at the Waterfront Playhouse.

This year's series will feature staged readings of three original scripts from Key's playwrights. “Going Again” by Bob Bowersox and “Fortune Cookie” by Mike Tomes will appear May 19th and “Poof” by Josh Kaplan will appear May 26th. Audience feedback to playwright, director and cast after each reading is desired.

“Going Again” is a comedic assembly line of Travelers checking in with Facilitators on their way from one life to the next. Questions of life and death are a common theme for Bowersox, a resident of Key West who has written numerous scripts for both stage and screen.

I keep reading rumors that Bob has a restaurant too, but how could he run a restaurant and do all this?

GemsTV Host Brook Roberts Headed to JTV

2010-05-14T19:44:00.001-04:00

Brook's audition tape for The Amazing Race.

Michele Lau, who has already made her on-air debut, was the first GemsTV host to announce her move to Jewelry Television. Then Craig Rooke soon followed in her footsteps, with his wife, Katie Rooke, not far behind. And now Brook Roberts is the latest GemsTV host to make the leap to Jewelry Television.

If I were a current JTV host, I think I'd be a little scared for my job right about now.

By the way, Karen Connelly has also alluded to the fact that something is about to happen ... JTV? ShopNBC? Hmmm ....

Quick Note from Queen Bea

2010-05-14T07:38:00.000-04:00

Yes, I know the posting has been a little light lately. No, it's not because I recently posted about my grandmother (we all know what happened last time I did that!)

Actually, the homeschooling year is coming to a close and I've been a little bogged down in my teacher duties lately. The good news is that since the semester is almost over, I will have some extra time to focus on the blog.

In the meantime, join me on Twitter! I can tweet 140 characters or less faster than Lisa Robertson and can apply her faux tan! Click here: https://twitter.com/QueenBea