Have you ever felt the pressure to show up big, especially for someone you love?   When the Pressure is Personal   I played in my first National Father–Son tournament in La Jolla this past weekend with my 17-year-old son, Will—the same 12 year old boy I wrote about during the pandemic, stretching to touch the highest branch above the trampoline (an inspirational life lesson taught by my son that I still hold dearly). While I’ve only competed together with Will in a tennis tournament, I’m sure you can appreciate the added pressure you might feel, and the desire to not let them down. The truth is, when you enter the competitive arena, you will always be tested in some way. Eventually, you will find yourself at a crossroads where fear and courage meet face-to-face. That moment arrived for us.   Where Courage and Fear Meet   We split sets against the 9th seeds in the round of 16 and then jumped out to an 8–0 lead in the 10-point third-set tiebreak. A massive lead. The kind of lead that makes any loss sting demonstrably more. A lot more. Careers across the sports world have been ended by outcomes in moments like this. Greg Norman losing at the Masters with a six-shot lead in 1996. Federer’s missed match points in the U.S Open and Wimbledon against Novak Djokovic in 2010 and 2019. The list goes on. These moments find all of us. As things go, my son, who happens to be the child of a sports psychologist, is extremely outcome-oriented. Unlike me, who can certainly savor a good performance and winning, I am most curious about using the outcome to elevate my game to see what’s possible–more of an “inner metric.” But playing with Will is an entirely different ball game. So, I am pretty sure I know what he’s thinking and turns out I’m right: “What if we lose this after being up by so much?” There I am at the net, thinking about what he’s thinking… not exactly consistent with the guy who writes books on this stuff, I understand. Just keeping it real. The quicksand starts to soften. 8–1. 8–2. 8–3. 8–4. Fear knocks a little louder. I use my windshield-wiper technique—wipe away the thought—but as you know, application under pressure is a different sport altogether, isn’t it? The thought returns. I wipe again. It comes back. All in about five seconds.   Radical Acceptance and the Choice to Act   And here’s the truth: I know my son would be crushed if we blow this lead. So would I. And yes, of course, on one level it’s just a tennis match. I’m grateful, I see the palm trees, I’m hitting balls with my son. If losing is the worst thing that happens today, we are incredibly fortunate. Totally get this. But in this moment, only so much. I really want to win this with him and for him. So what do I do? I radically accept the moment—my errant thoughts, the score, the tension, the adrenaline. All of it. In a matter of a second or two this radical acceptance dissolves the fireball of stress surrounding me so I can refocus entirely on the task in front of me. Not hoping. (Well, maybe a little:) Not wishing. But acting. I make a choice. Go big or go home. I jump on a volley (not my strong suit) and knock it off decisively. Maybe that freed something in Will, because on the next point he cuts off a backhand volley, himself, and places it just out of reach. We close it out and win, 10–4.   What these Moments Teach Us   Afterward, I found myself thinking about how rarely we acknowledge the inner battles unfolding beneath the surface—on the court, in competition, and in our daily lives. I have been living and breathing tennis and psychology for decades. Yet, still, negative thoughts and feelings arise for me, too. It’s the response we get to choose that motivates me the most. Without these moments, without the tension that appears in the things we care about, life wouldn’t feel the same. It would be the life of AI. I share this story hoping it serves you in some way—whether you’re supporting your child through something meaningful, or you’re navigating your own defining moments.   When Fear Shows Up, Remember This:   There is something far more powerful than the “what ifs.” It’s the willingness to act with conviction, even when the moment feels bigger than you. That is the path of mastery. With Gratitude, Jeff   “Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms — to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” — Viktor Frankl   New Small Group Fearless Tennis Virtual Coaching Experience    Where courage is practiced: I’ve been running a small private group tennis experience this fall focused on helping motivated adult tennis players steady their nervous system, sharpen focus under pressure, and rebuild trust in their competitive process.   A new adult group will begin on Monday, January 5th, and if this resonates with where you are right now, you can learn more here.   Click Here! Applying Radical Acceptance:   Practical Tip: Pick one frustrating situation or issue that you are mulling over in your mind and ask yourself, “Is there anything I can do about this right now? If the answer is NO (often the case), drop it. Let it go. Practice doing this. It’s a muscle. Let it move into the rearview mirror. If you can do something about it, then do it. Or write it down. Then refocus on something else. Self-generated questions stimulate the pre-frontal cortex (planner, organizer) and quiets down the amygdala (emotional center) and interrupts the mental looping. We all deserve to have a little more mental freedom!     The Mental Edge for Young Athletes  (If you leave a review for me send me the screenshot) and I’ll send you some cool stuff. Reviews make a huge difference on Amazon. Thank you!) In today’s hyper-competitive world, talent alone isn’t enough. Young athletes face immense pressure—tournaments, rankings, expectations, social media, and academic demands—all of which can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and burnout. Mental toughness is what separates those who survive from those who thrive. Buy now on Amazon   The Mental Edge for Young Athletes  Audiobook Is Now Available!        Why Success is Just Beyond Your Reach How a moment on the trampoline can shift a young boy’s mindset. Read More Don’t Let Your “Knots” Slow You Down A little bit of data on something we see so often could be a game-changer for you if you apply this new mental approach to your goals. Read More

 

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As I am sure you know, amateur players are not the only ones to choke. We see it all the time in the pros. You are certainly not alone.

Therefore, I strongly encourage you to work on shifting your response to errors and the anxiety that ensues, especially in situations when it feels as if you are “choking.” A similar process can work off the court, too. 

So how do we move the needle toward a more productive response under pressure?

First, we need to understand it. Choking is a phenomenon that reflects a notable drop in performance (Cappuccio, et al., 2019). However, it is distinct from other performance-related failures because of two defining characteristics. The first is that a player must have mechanics that are, on margin, relatively automatic (if you are 4.0, I would say that you fall into this camp). The second is that “choking,” ironically, often occurs more when players are doing everything they can to actually prevent it from happening (Cappuccio, et al.).

Research supports that maintaining an external focus, in particular–keeping your attention on task-relevant cues (i.e. the ball, tactics, breath) staying loose, and staying present in your body without judgment, are effective focusing habits that can disrupt this tendency to hyper-focus during competition. The less you technically overthink your errors, the more likely you will be to engage in these more task-relevant “cues” which will, not surprisingly, lead to some of your best performances.

By training yourself to not overly focus on the mechanical aspects of your game during matchplay, and accepting the anxiety that follows a routine error when the score is close, you will be putting yourself in the driver’s seat in these situations, which will be a big boon to your confidence. 

Lastly, in many respects, I believe tennis is a microcosm of life, and strategies that we use on the court can help in pressure moments off the court as well. Whether you are giving a presentation at work, talking to someone you just met at a party or you are having a difficult conversation at home, take your focus off of yourself–how you might be coming across, assessing your level of anxiety while speaking or the other people’s reactions at the moment–and engage in what is relevant. Usually, when we go inside under pressure, for too long, the rabbit hole begins to widen.

So trust yourself, engage with the task at hand and let go of your overacting ego, by using the pause button on the remote control in your mind.

The post How to Eliminate Choking On and Off The Court appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

Pre-Covid, when we could safely go to the gym, I often remember pulling out my old headphones wondering how they could get so tangled, especially since I know they were definitely not tangled after my last workout. Each time, as I sat in the locker room untangling the cord, I remember being struck how our lives can feel a little like this sometimes.

So I decided to do a little research, and, lo and behold, I discovered that there is, in fact, a scientific reason why your headphones get so tangled in your bag.

And this little bit of data could be a game-changer for you if you apply this new mental approach to your goals.

Research on the Knot

The research shows that your headphones are, indeed, spontaneously knotting themselves in your pocket or bag all the time, even when you don’t touch them.

It’s physics. They tangle based on their length and the amount of friction or “agitation” they are subjected to.

That means under a certain length (less than 46 centimeters) they will never tangle. Above this length there is a 50% probability that they will get tangled.

You can read more about this phenomenon here: 

You might think it’s a stretch, but this got me thinking…

The Idea:

What if the physics that tangles a completely straight headphone cord is similar to the psychology that impacts us in much the same way?

Because I know from working with athletes and studying sports psychology, the bigger you show up in your life, go for your goals, and stretch yourself, the more you inevitably face friction, and yes, periodic doses of tangled agitation, too.

The Friction

When you pursue a dream, start something new, go for your shots, and therefore, go out of your comfort zone, you are bound to encounter some “knots”—challenges that appear as obstacles, anxiety, and confusion.

The more you put yourself out in the world, the greater the friction you’re likely to experience, which can come in the form of:

• Someone not liking your idea
• Realization you lack necessary skills
• Teammates winning more than you
• Fear you might lose

The Plateau

But at some point there will be a time, just like your headphones, when the probability of getting tangled up like this will simply “plateau.”

What does this potentially mean for you going forward?

Expect and accept that despite your best intentions, you will get knotted sometimes when you push yourself, especially in the beginning. But only to a point; then it will level off.

 

The Application to YOU:

Awareness: Where do you get knotted up?

We tend to view change, action and new pursuits as binary. So, please be careful. It’s rarely all or nothing. Take the next step. Think of it as an experiment to see where you get tangled up, not fearing it.

• If you’re believing something that isn’t accurate, replace it with the truth, like, “I choose to pursue this goal. Every step forward is a win and gets me closer to my goal.”

• If you’ve forgotten your driving motivation, get to the heart of it with a reframe like, “It’s the pursuit that matters to me as much or even more than achieving it.”

My client became aware of his knot, was committed to untangle it and developed the focusing skills to conquer his fear.

When you expect that you will inevitably face various challenges along the way, and know that they will, in fact, likely only make you stronger anyway, you will be poised to untangle and move forward.

Eventually, those knots will feel less like knots and they will happen far less often.

Get my Fearless Tennis Course at a 20% discount with the code fearlesstennis by clicking here.

If you’re wanting to learn how to reduce muscle tension in a match situation combined with strategy please click on my course with Craig O’Shannessy, Getting Tight here.

The post Don’t Let Your “Knots” Slow You Down appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

After Stefanos Tsitsipas defeated Rafa Nadal in a five set thriller he said:

“How would I describe myself?” he mused afterward, asked to describe his mind-set after winning what proved a pivotal tiebreaker. “Nirvana. I’m just there — playing, not thinking. … I focused on one shot, on one serve. I wanted to stay on the court a little bit longer. It just took off by itself.”

There’s a way Tsitsipas–and many top athletes–find ways to NOT think when they don’t need to think.

And, while there are always mental and emotional challenges top athletes face under pressure–finding the right “state” or keeping it– isn’t necessarily only a mental Ninja trick that moves the needle in competition.

Down two sets to love against the greatest fighter of all time–a player who had only lost one match in his career from this position– Stefanos Tsitsipas found the zone and mounted his comeback.

While he accessed a “free” mindset, he also began jumping around on the return of serve–something that emerged for the first time in his career.

He appeared to discover that moving side to side was helpful to keep his intensity up–a way to stay engaged, relaxed and present.

Often, when people talk about the mental game, there is an assumption that the answer lies mainly in their head.

The Idea:

Well, often, especially in the heat of battle, an even more potent solution may be moving your body–creating the physical sensations you need to be at your best.

For just a moment, think about the gestures you see players making after the point–fist pumps, slaps to the thigh, engaging with their player box, smiles, shoulder shrugs, fiddling with the strings.

There are a lot of physical gestures and actions that can all contribute to helping you create your “ideal performance state.”

Action:

Try walking faster (on or off the court) or slower and notice how this affects your confidence, sense of purpose and mood.

Or, when you are in a neutral or slightly down mood, try smiling. You can think of something amusing or just simply smile. See if your emotion shifts even a little bit.

The point is that you can learn to adjust your state and upgrade your performance with a few physical “cues.”

Next time you feel like experimenting with your energy level, take a deep breath, smile and walk with purpose for a few seconds.

Or, maybe a fist pump when something goes your way. I’m curious what you notice.

I know it works for the best in the game and I bet it can work for you, too.

With gratitude,
Jeff

If you’d like to learn more about Jeff’s Fearless Tennis course click here.

The post The Best Athletes Behave Their Way into the Zone. So Can You. appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

adapted from Jeff’s book, The Best Tennis of Your Life

I’ve been asked how the best players in the world compete so well when the stakes are so high.

“How do athletes deal with the stress with so much on the line?”

Answer: They learn to thrive in it.

Do you know what Pete Sampras told Inside Tennis after his retirement when asked what he missed the most about the game?

He said, “I miss the feeling of being so nervous that I would throw up before the finals of Wimbledon.”

We’ve all felt like that before. Our stomach in knots with anticipation.

But can you say that you would MISS that feeling?

That’s what separates the novice from the pros…the response to the nerves.

However, if you have motivation and are open to experiences, you too, can master these situations like a pro.

1 Idea: Find Pleasure in Pressure

To find pleasure in pressure there are three conditions that must be met:

1.You know the situation is temporary, and though you will face discomfort, discomfort doesn’t have to be feared.

2. You believe that you have options (you have some control over the process and the outcome).

3. You have a tool or strategy that you’ve used before and you know it is helpful (you find that designated spot on the fence to shift your attention AWAY from yourself and allow your mind to reset in the present).

Brad Gilbert and I talked about a variety of strategies on how you can deal with nerves and pressure on his Winning Uglier podcast last week. To listen to the full episode, click here.

1 Anecdote: Pressure at the SAP Open with Lleyton Hewitt Watching. What Can You Learn From This?

So, Imagine being on a stadium court with all of your peers watching you play in the finals of the club championships.

How would you feel?

I had a pressure moment like this in 2007.

I am in the 2nd round of qualifying at the SAP Open playing against Jeff Morrison, who recently won the NCAA in college and was just outside the top 100 in the world on the ATP Tour. He’s 23 years old.

I’m 37 years old, 14 years his senior.

On the side of the court watching are Lleyton Hewitt (who was No. 1 in the world just a few years earlier) and a number of other top players and coaches on the tour.

It is the first game of the match and they stroll in right before we start the match. I see them out of the corner of my eye.

“Really,” I think. “Hewitt is here. What the hell?”

Morrison has about a 120 MPH serve, but clearly I’m distracted and I can feel the shadows all around me. Let’s just say that my body isn’t quite as flexible!

For the first time in my life, I watch four consecutive bullets blow past me. Yes, I’m aced four times in a row!

I take a very big gulp. For a split second my mind races, “This is embarrassing.”

I see and feel the deep rabbit hole waiting for me as the shadow’s claws reach for me.

But, I side step the hole and the endless fall–one I’ve experienced more often than I’d like to admit.

But, then, instinctively, thanks to my studies and years of trial and error using the tools I learned in my sport psychology graduate program, and changes I’d witnessed in so many clients, I choose to smile.

Why? I now know it releases a chemical in our brain called serotonin. It also ignites the parasympathetic nervous system that will, metaphorically, pour water on the fire.

I go on to win the set 6-2. Then, Lleyton invites me to play doubles with him at the US Open. Just kidding. That would have been cool though….

1 Action

Next time you are in a situation that feels like high pressure–and either your mind is racing or your body is beginning to tense up–remember that you chose to be in this moment and you can control how you respond. Regardless of the outcome, you will be better for it.

When your nervous system screams at you to hide, give yourself that subtle little smile as if to say, “Yeah, but I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

I share the exact methods I have used to stay mentally strong under pressure in my online course.

Enhance your game, and win more NOW. Click the button below to learn more!

Warmly,
Jeff

Learn More About Jeff’s Online Courses:

This course will teach you how to become loose, focused with the right intensity:

This course will teach you how to Let Go of Tension and Play Freely Plus Strategy with Craig O’Shannessy:

The post Find Pleasure in Pressure appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

Here’s what Rafa said about it immediately following his win: “When I lose it’s not a drama for me, and when I achieve something important I don’t see it as especially amazing either.”

I always try to treat victory and defeat in the same normal, natural way.”

This is not conventional. But, neither is Rafa.

Rafa’s long time coach, Uncle Tony, famously forced Rafa to carry his own bag and fly in coach, not first class, after he won tournaments.

Why?

Because he didn’t want Rafa to think he was that special. Intuitively, Uncle Tony knew that staying even keel throughout a long career was essential for success.

Unlce Tony and Rafa would certainly would agree with Rudy Kipling:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same….

This leads me to the topic of “expectations,” a mindset and a trap that I also discuss in my book, The Best Tennis of Your Life, Leave Your Expectations Off the Court.

1 Idea:

What comes up when you think about expectations before anything important—a tennis match, sports event, a meeting, even a conversation?

In addition, let’s say that you feel that you or your team “should” win–that you will get the outcome you expect and want.

But the event hasn’t happened yet. Therefore, it’s uncertain, right?

Maybe you think that imposing expectations on yourself related to the outcome might somehow increase the chance of it happening.

Or, like the player I just hung up with a few hours ago playing ITF tournaments abroad, she didn’t realize she was thinking this way until she lost.

For most of us, the monkey mind just “goes there.” Uncertainty creates fear and fear creeps into the crevices of your mind when you’re not paying attention.

You look at the draw, you bargain with it, wishing you played someone else—“just not her in the first round”—then the butterflies descend and the trap is set.

The outcome hangs over your head like a dark cloud. You want to win.

People even expect you to win.

In The Last Dance, Michael Jordan, arguably the best basketball player of all time, when asked if he thought about winning or losing in a basketball game, he said, “Why would l think about something like that? I’ve got a basketball game to play.”

Don’t be surprised if your expectations are about the outcome. I rarely find this helpful with one exception–when you don’t believe you can win.

Then, by all means, you need to remind yourself that it is, in fact, a possibility that you can win. This is different than you “should” win. In this case, imagining yourself performing well and prevailing, can even give you a dose of confidence in moments of doubt.

However, as a general rule, expectations about the outcome only set you up for disappointment. If you feel that you “should” win then anything short of that will seem threatening and not help you execute.

The Mind’s Dilemma

The problem is that we live our lives everyday, almost every moment, with expectations—expectations that the plane will make it safely to its destination, the cars driving toward us will stay in their lanes, our kids will come home safely, etc…

Our lives are built around positive expectations that help us stay calm and enthusiastic despite great uncertainty—of course, now more than ever.

So, why doesn’t this same mindset work when it comes to performance?

Well, for one thing, when it comes to competition your opponent doesn’t want the same outcome as you. In fact, their goal is to shatter any expectations you may have about a positive result.

What if the pilot of the plane you’re flying didn’t want the same outcome as you? Unfortunately, we’ve seen this outcome.

Many of the things we expect to happen each day are also expected by others—they, too, want to make it to their destination, not have an accident on the freeway and they want to see their kids at the end of each day.

So, the key is having expectations work for you.

I am sure you’re probably growing tired of this concept by now—the importance of controlling what we can control….yes, we must expect that we will execute on the intentions we set based on the aspects of the competition that we control.

Therefore, when the expectations are about HOW you want to feel or what you want to execute tactically—your planned shot combinations, your state—being loose, focused, with just the right amount of intensity—this will lead you to mastery, and, ironically, more winning.

Click Here to Finally Master Your Mind/Game

If you want to expect anything, expect the things that you have 100% control over.

Besides, researchers found that winning doesn’t feel as good when they are expected anyway.

I. Anecdote

Ask Roger Federer about the moments he will likely never forget—at both the U.S. Open and Wimbledon, holding two match points against Novak Djokovic—and how he stepped, albeit briefly, into the “rabbit hole of expectations” and endured two devastating losses.

The expectations come in an instant.

Every competitive tennis player knows the experience of having the mind fixate on the score and the “finish line” as it delights in the looming expectation—the “pot of gold” resembling a W that is awaiting him, if only you could just get this one game.

Expectations. Outcome. Glory.

Well, I suggest we discover a different gear, to compete from a new mindset—one that moves upward toward mastery. Get your free Mastery Guide Here.

1 Action: Shine a Light on Your Expectations

My challenge to you: Ask yourself 2x during the day, “What was I just thinking?” Do this for a week.

That’s it, you might ask?

Yes. Seriously begin to observe your mind when you’re about to do something you really care about.

Because if you don’t “catch” your mind wandering over to the land of expectations, if you get swept away into the river and don’t jump over to the river bank to see the river (thoughts) flowing by, you will likely get tossed over the dam more often than you’d like.

The brain loves questions. It’s designed to answer them. This will help you become more aware so you can redirect your mind when it wanders away to these expectations and the “shoulds.”

By shining a light on your thoughts internally from time to time, you will have just strengthened your mental muscle so you are back in the driver’s seat.

It beats being held hostage in the back of the car blindfolded while you wonder why you aren’t “there” yet. Yes, I love analogies!

I hope that by keeping your expectations in check, you continue to inch closer to even better days, more often.

Check out my courses right here below if you want to train this mindset with me week-to-week. It’s as if we’re in the room or on the court together.

Learn More About Jeff’s Online Courses:

This course will teach you how to become loose, focused with the right intensity:

This course will teach you how to Let Go of Tension and Play Freely Plus Strategy with Craig O’Shannessy:

The post What if The Right Expectations Could Transform Your Performance? appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

Over the next ten weeks I will be sharing ONE Idea that can transform the way you think and live, ONE Analogy to drive it home, and ONE Action you can take to see its effects in your life.

These time-tested ideas–drawn from 22 years working in the field of sport psychology, are reflected in this document HERE.

We’ll work through one each week so you can see their potential to change your performance on the court and your enjoyment in everyday life.

“The future depends on what we do in the present.” -Mahatma Gandhi

ONE IDEA: Present vs. Future

Do you think our ancestors just walked out of their caves, totally in the present, with no thought about what could happen to them if they weren’t careful?

Absolutely not.

In fact, it is this very survival system (fight, flight, freeze) that is allowing you to be here reading this right now!

While this survival system is certainly more relevant today than it was last year due to Covid, fires and other environmental challenges we are all facing (yes, we are being tested big time), it still needs to be managed.

And we have the knowledge and ability now to control it.

The problem is that this system no longer needs to be on all the time or to the same degree.

And when we perform, having this system influencing our decisions almost always creates a barrier to achieving the outcomes we desire.

If our brains are wired to anticipate the future and are influenced by the past, how are we supposed to bring our minds into the present more often—especially, when we’d prefer the present to be in the past!

How do we hack this program?

We need an inner remote control.

What Can We Learn from the U.S. Open?

This past weekend we saw Azarenka in the finals of the US Open against Serena Williams double fault leading 5-3 in the third set 30-15 (arguably one of the most challenging moments in tennis and perhaps in Azarenka’s career).

She then served two aces to win the title.

After 4 hours of battling in the men’s final, Dominic Thiem, leads 6-4 in the tiebreaker in the 5th set, while cramping, loses two points on unforced errors (he got tight) and closed it out 8-6 in the tie-breaker.

It was an amazing demonstration of courage as he quickly moved on from the past into the moment.

Both players desperately wanted their futures to include THESE Grand Slam wins. They were aware of the scoreboard, but they did not become victims of it.

They found a way to bring their mind back to the present moment.

How?

They knew that focusing on anything other than the present in that moment would be disastrous. They were aware of the “channel” they needed to be on.

Then, they made the choice to change the channel to the present, to the task at hand.

ONE ANALOGY: Focus Like a Baby

Yesterday a client of mine, a top D1 college player and former standout in Junior Grand Slams, asked me, “But if I shift my focus to something else like my strings on the racquet, what if my mind is still thinking about the last double fault?”

I said, “Have you ever seen how engaged babies are when they watch a ball roll across the floor? Or have you seen the concentration of a dog ready to catch the ball you’re about to throw?”

He had a baby niece and a beloved family dog. He knew what I was talking about. He could envision that effortless focus every baby has mastered, shutting out everything but the ball.

“Trust me,” I said, “with that kind of focus you won’t be thinking about anything else because you can’t focus on two things at once.”

Analogy: Your Mind BY the River, Not in IT

Imagine a river that’s flowing downstream. Then imagine that the water is actually your thoughts.

Okay. Got it?

Your mind is on the side of the bank watching the river go by. Your mind is not IN THE RIVER.

This is how we develop our own remote control: You focus and engage with the task at hand like a baby, but bring it to the “river bank” as a witness when it jumps into the future without your consent.

Action: Refocus

To do this, you need to be specific, use your senses, and focus on something relevant.

As I’ve described before, when you use sensation—the feel of the keys on your computer, your feet touching the ground when you walk, the feel of the ball off your racquet, the voice of the person talking with you—you will find that you can bring your focus back to the present.

The more you practice this awareness, the more present you will be.

And, paradoxically, when you stay in the present, the future will likely turn out even better than what you might have been worrying about in the first place.

Does this take effort? Absolutely. Discipline? Yes.

But, once you determine that it is worth the extra effort to come back to the NOW, you can gradually increase the time you are actually here. The brain is a muscle. Exercise it!

Every time you come back you are doing a “rep” as if you are lifting weights. Your brain will get stronger and be able to stay in the present for longer periods of time.

Dream about the future as often as you like, turn the worry into intention (and, perhaps, some hope, too, which will be my next blog post) and come back to where you are now, so we can make the most of our time together.

Because, now more than ever, we need to help one another by staying connected and present, while helping to create a brighter future for each of us. We will get there again.

I’m in your corner.

With Gratitude,
Jeff

P.S. Are you ready to get the mental edge and push yourself beyond your current level of performance on or off the court? Reach out to me. Or, if you are interested in my Fearless Tennis Course click here.

The post Two Techniques To Master Your Focus And Achieve Your Best Outcomes appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

He said, “Most of them, actually.”

“Because you probably don’t want to be around negative people, right?”

He quickly responded, “Exactly.”

But, he did acknowledge that many of the people he used to associate himself with were negative, not for any specific reasons, but he believed because they “were born that way.”

I confirmed that there does seem to be a sort of happiness “set point”–the idea that everyone is born with their own level of potential happiness, a range if you will.

You Can Still Increase Your Level of “Happiness” 

In fact, this has been researched across multiple countries with thousands of people and it does appear that each of us seems to have a range or pre-established level of potential happiness (up to 50% determined by our lineage), assuming our basic needs (shelter, food, social connection, job) are taken care of, that determines our level of happiness.

But, this means we still have quite a bit of opportunity (at least 50%) where we can greatly impact our level  contentment and happiness. 

Shane then went on to tell me about a friend of his, a hedge fund manager, who had a decade of poor results in the market.

He said, “You’d think this guy would have a black cloud over his head everywhere he went. But, every time I saw him he was as content as could be. It just doesn’t make sense.”

What is Contentment?

Contentment is defined as an emotional state of satisfaction that can be seen as a mental state, drawn from being at ease in one’s situation, body and mind.

Colloquially speaking, contentment could be a state of having accepted one’s situation and is a milder and more tentative form of happiness.

Why explore the idea of contentment? Simply put, if we are allotted approximately 75 years of life or more with reasonably good health, wouldn’t it make sense to decide how you want to optimally spend this time and, of course, with whom?

I think now is perhaps one of the best times to re-evaluate our values as we continue to navigate our way through the relentless Covid fog. 

 Top Barrier to Contentment

I began to tell Shane about my early morning insight–that one of our greatest barriers to contentment/happiness (and performance, of course)–is our thoughts, our thinking mind, our perspective. 

In other words, as UCLA basketball coach, John Wooden said, “It’s not what you do, it’s how you do it. It’s not what you see, it’s how you look at it. It’s not how your life is, it’s how you live it.” 

He took this idea in but, he wasn’t satisfied with this explanation alone.

He said, “I think it’s about the work, the energy, you put into something and seeing the outcome of it.”

Pulling his racquet out of his bag, he continued, “Like every day that I wake up I get joy out of being in my house. When the sun shines in the window at just the right angle–something I helped design–it makes me happy every day.”

As we start to warm-up, he probes, “You probably get the same feeling when you look at one of your trophies.”

“Not at all,” I replied. “Not even close. I get very little, if anything, from looking at my trophies. I never really have, except maybe when I was a kid.  

“It’s different,” I said, as I go back to the baseline to begin our rallies, “When you wake up in the morning you feel joy knowing that you helped create a certain part of your home. And you can enjoy actually being in it every day.

“When I look at a trophy–which I rarely do–I’m no longer at the tournament where it all happened.

“What was joyful for me was being with my friends all week while hitting a tennis ball. It’s not the same.”

He tapped his racket against his shoulder. “Good point.”

I suppose if I really sat there reflecting on what helped earn a particular trophy–the years of discipline and time running after the ball–I could bring up the memories of the tournament and that would bring me a shot of gratitude, perhaps even brief moments of joy.

But, it would take some effort and somehow it doesn’t feel the same as standing in your home looking out the window every morning.

Passion, Hard Work and Contentment

We then moved onto the concept of passion–that working hard at something you genuinely love to do is the reward itself and how this usually leads to a feeling of contentment.

Pointing to his house above the courts, Shane tells me, “Take, for example, my tomato garden. When I plant tomatoes and see them grow, it makes me happy. It’s the same thing with any passion I have.”

I’ll be honest: my first thought was that planting tomatoes does not sound like fun. Although, I’ve never planted tomatoes, so I don’t know enough to make a determination. I’ll bet it’s because I’ve never done it and not yet experienced the satisfaction of seeing them grow.

“But,” I said, “the only problem with this is that there are many people who, because of their life circumstance or perhaps their lower happiness “set-point”, don’t have passions like you do. Many people never even find one.”

I continued, “You’re fortunate because I bet most things you’ve tried have eventually worked out–in other words, you’ve had a positive outcome, you’ve been rewarded for your efforts.”

“Maybe that’s true,” he acknowledged. “But, there were many times when the tomatoes did not grow. At least four times the soil wasn’t right. It was either too dry or too wet and it didn’t work. It was frustrating but I went back and did it again.”

“Why did you go back?”

He grimaced, “Because I wasn’t about to give up just because it didn’t work the first time. I wasn’t going to quit.”

Shane’s face literally contorted when I asked that question. I could see the idea of quitting was abhorrent to him.

No question I was impressed with his tenacity and resilience, although it didn’t surprise me because he is the definition of tenacity. He is smart, savvy, and relentlessly persistent. It’s clear to me why he is successful and competent in most of the things he tries.

The primary point my friend was trying to make was that contentment comes from hard work. It comes from the energy we put into things. I agree. 

It’s not always easy and comfortable, but eventually the fruits of your labor will pay off–whether it’s a house, the ability to hit a tennis ball, a relationship, a career, or financial freedom.

So, I ask you, what is your number one value in life that matters to you? 

• Purpose? 
• Achievement? 
• Connection? 
• Challenge? 
• Curiosity? 
• Equality?

Asking yourself what you value, what’s meaningful to you in life, is a worthwhile question. Beware of the tug-of-war that may ensue, but don’t let that stop you.

Then, get busy and make a plan on bringing this value more into your life. Start VERY small and DO JUST ONE ACTION PER DAY. Let the momentum build.

I don’t grow tomatoes, but I think the “garden”of contentment is worth cultivating over time. 

To learn more about my popular course with Craig O’Shannessy click Here. 

The post The Link Between Persistence and Contentment appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

When he’s in the air, I notice a branch of a tree hanging over the trampoline that is well beyond his reach. Pointing to the branch, I say, “Hey buddy, you see that? Let’s see if you can touch it.”

He’s immediately excited. “Ok,” he says very enthusiastically. To be perfectly honest, my son will take a shot of dopamine anytime it’s legal or ethical.

Over the next ten minutes we jump. With his right arm extended as high as it can go, he is still at least a foot away. We begin to talk about how high some of the greats could go, including Kevin Durant, Lebron James and the great, late Kobe.

By the time we’re done we are about a foot away from touching the branch.

I tell him, “Will, I bet you can touch that branch by October.” Incredulously, he asks, really by October?

The next day he runs into my office and pleads with me, “Dad, let’s go. Jump with me.”

We’re both fully dialed in. I bounce him as high as I can. He goes higher. He reaches as high as he can. He’s maybe eight inches away. Progress.

I, too, am surprised by how much he narrowed the gap overnight. I haven’t seen Will this engaged in an everyday activity, maybe ever.

I recalculate my prediction and tell him, “Gosh. Maybe you’ll get it by the end of the summer.” He liked this idea, a lot. But, it just didn’t seem possible to be 12 inches away on day one and think that this could happen any sooner.

Day three. “Dad, trampoline. Let’s go.” How can a father turn a kid down when he’s this excited about a goal? You can’t.

We are all in just like the two prior days. We have to time our jumps just right. The rhythm has to be perfect if we have any chance of getting any higher. We do make progress.

Amazingly, we are now 2-4 inches away. Neither of us can believe it. Will is beaming.

I can’t remember being this captivated by a goal in quite some time myself. It seemed like a life moment that was just enveloping both of us.

It was all happening in slow motion–my son and I jointly engaged in a goal, defying the odds given the sheer distance of the branch above us.

There is very little quite as captivating as a young child fully engaged in a task, self-driven and excited at the same time

Day 4. I’m in my pajamas. I’m getting ready to shut it down. There’s barely any light left in the day. “Dad, trampoline. Let’s go.”

“Buddy,” I say. “Really? Now?”

“Yup, now.”

We jump. By some miracle it seems, we are now an inch away. We are both ecstatic and in disbelief to be honest. We see that it is possible. Really possible. Not in October. Today.

We are literally a quarter of an inch away. We are giving it everything we have. Both of us. I’m launching him as high as I can. He’s reaching as high as his arm will go. I’m partly worried it’s going to come out of his shoulder socket.

With my calves burning, you could see the determination on his face. “We got this,” I say.

And, would you believe, on day four around 8:45pm at night, the kid touches the branch and we fall to the ground yelling and hugging in ecstacy. I’m sure the entire block heard us screaming.

But we didn’t just stop after he touched the branch once. He wanted to try to get it again!

So, after our loud celebration we jumped again with all of our energy and a newfound level of BELIEF.

And here’s the kicker. What happened next truly blew my mind.

Within two jumps– yes two–he touches the branch again. Two jumps and thirty seconds later. Not four days, or four months.

We leave the trampoline in shock and extremely gratified. As strange as this may sound, it is one of my very best moments as a parent, probably of my entire life. And I had to share it with you, particularly if it brightens your mood in the midst of such a trying time for all of us….

It also made me wonder. Is there anything valuable here for all of us as we navigate our lives going forward in our new world and on the court?

I think this experience is loaded with life lessons. But, for now I just want to focus on one.

Is there a “stretch” goal–something you have thought about doing, perhaps even started but then stopped, because you either underestimate that you can reach it or over calculate how long it might take as I did with Will on day one on the trampoline?

A few months ago, when I teamed up with the world expert on strategy, Craig O’Shannessy, to create the first-ever online course that incorporates strategy with the emotional and mental aspects of the game, it was because I felt there was something missing in my game and many players I worked with. How to achieve both your optimal mental state and execute the right tactical options in matches–to bring it all together. Personally, I believe I am 75% there. SNEAK PEEK 5: 75% OF POTENTIAL.

I have witnessed hundreds of extraordinary transformation for over two decades.

One of my favorite clients of all time, a tennis player who played Billy Jean King when she was 11 years old, continues to learn and build her game, winning her first gold ball not long ago.

I think of my young client, a teenage boy with a vision of living in a small room and going on to become a black belt in Karate and an employee for the FBI and working with NASA.

I think of a professional tennis player told by her parents that she wouldn’t amount to anything and then climbing into the top 40 in the world, losing in the round of 16 at the French Open and making a living on the pro tour.

Or, the race car driver writing to tell me that my audio program, Fearless Tennis, helped him make the decision to become sober.

Whatever your age, whatever your situation, I promise you there is a branch right in front of you worth touching. And it may be more fun and less difficult than you might imagine.

Whatever your endeavor, there is no doubt you can be better if you choose to reach for the next highest “branch.” What is that for you?

I would love to hear if this story inspires you to pursue something important to you, including a revamp of your game, perhaps, to finally reach the potential you know you are capable of.

If you’d like to learn more about the online course I created with Craig O’Shannessy, the world’s leading strategy analyst, Click here and watch this 3 minute video: Watch the Video for Getting Tight.

For more information on my Fearless Tennis online course, please click here: Fearlesstennis.

The post When Success is Just Beyond Your Reach appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

I know we can all feel low and sometimes our motivation, or even the belief in ourselves, can fluctuate. Clearly, we all have good reason to drag at this moment. But, we don’t have to lay down and give in for too long. That said, if you are struggling, as many people are these days, give yourself that permission, too.

I want to share a heart-warming story of a client I worked with who had no real inspiration or belief.

A decade ago I asked an 18 year old young man about his aspirations for the future and he said, “I’d be content with a single small apartment, a shower, a microwave and a TV.”

Perhaps, this would be sufficient for some people, but I knew Jeremy had more in him.

At the time, this was the only vision he could conjure up until he began to believe in greater possibilities, which you can read about at the end of this post. This is a story about inspiration and the power of human connection.

If you are having trouble getting started on a project, deciding on a new path forward or choosing an activity to engage in, you are not alone. This is an emotional/energy problem that you can solve if you work the steps below.

In this post you will learn 4 keys to unlock your inspiration and also know which traps to avoid:

1. Build Momentum through Action: It’s tempting to wait for the feeling of inspiration to strike. If you are allowing your mood to dictate your actions, you may never get started. Try to not let your emotions run the show. Once you make a little progress your energy will increase. Just take one little step forward and begin. This 1-2 combination of action plus momentum will defy inertia–what is in motion stays in motion. Nike’s slogan was a success for a reason: ” JUST DO IT.”
2. Cultivate Intrinsic Motivation: It’s too easy to get fixated on the results of our efforts rather than the enjoyment of the activity itself. Remember, that doing what you enjoy doing will lead to both more satisfaction (even “flow”), and often, more success. As you probably know, being grateful and savoring the experience can help you stay in the present to enjoy what you’re doing. Judgment and results will usually kill the intrinsic enjoyment of the activity. So, be on guard for the negativity.
3. Believe in Possibilities: Sometimes you may diminish yourself and think you can’t do something well. This creates doubt and hesitation increasing the chance that you won’t even attempt, which is the greatest risk of all. Understand that this is just your ego trying to protect itself. If you are thinking about doing something, it is likely that there is a big part of you that wants to try. Believe in possibility and increase your willingness to go for it.
4. Play for Yourself: It’s human to consider how others might view you as you move toward a new goal, project or hobby. Remind yourself that if you enjoy it, if you want to become good at it, that’s what matters. It is far more likely that anyone judging is not doing anything signifiant or engaging themselves.

What are your top 3 activities that you enjoy doing the most?

Here are my top 3:

1. Writing
2. Playing tennis
3. Learning and connecting with engaged and curious people
4. Walking/running/yoga

Please write down your top three. I don’t want you to do anything with this list necessarily–yet. See where your mind goes over the next couple of days. But, here’s the challenge. If you start imagining doing one of these things more, try not to entertain the benefits, time or outcome of the activity. Just imagine yourself doing it for the sake of it. Give yourself permission to engage.

So, what happened to Jeremy who believed his future would include an apartment, a TV and microwave?

Well, I received a note from him not long ago and here’s what he shared with me: “In the past fifteen months, I’ve earned an undergraduate in law, lived in Japan for my first job with Nichii Gakkan as a legal translator, fought in Japanese sword martial arts known as kendō, moved to the Netherlands, and started studying a Master’s in International Law and Policy.”

He’s now working for the FBI.

Choose to believe in yourself.  I have seen transformation with more than a thousand people with whom I’ve worked over the past 22 years in and out of sports. By connecting with someone or something that lights your fire and having the courage to pursue it with tenacity, you will find deep satisfaction as well as a sense of accomplishment.

You have more music inside of you just waiting to come out.

Please send me a note and let me know what is bringing you some peace or joy while we wait for the next phase of your life to begin! Please stay safe and healthy.

If you are a competitive tennis player or coach, Craig O’Shannessy and I would be delighted to have you join us on our live video Q&A chat tomorrow, May 8th at 10am PST. We will be discussing winning tactical patterns and how to create your optimal mindset under pressure.
INSTA LIVE: https://instagram.com/coshannessy/
COURSE DETAILS : https://bit.ly/2L2j1Qi

The post Finding the Music Inside of You appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

Recently, I was practicing my serve for an upcoming tournament. On the court next to me was a woman in her forties also hitting buckets of serves. However, what particularly stuck out was how she was responding to each serve. I quickly became intrigued. I noticed that when she missed her serve—even just by an inch or two—she would hang her head and then shake it from side to side, defeated. It truly looked like a nightmare for her. After watching her, I took special note of what I was thinking and doing when I missed my serve. I noticed that after each serve that went into the net, I would immediately assess the tension in my arm to make sure it was loose enough and then refocus my attention on my target or adjust my toss. Interested in the disparity of our experiences, I walked up to the woman and asked, “What part of your serve are you working on?” 

She quickly retorted, “I just wanted to get the ball in once before I leave. Is that too much to ask?” She then walked away in frustration with her head down. 

What struck me on an even deeper level was the degree to which this woman was literally sabotaging the very thing she wanted so badly. She wanted to serve well, get the ball in the court, and feel good about her serve. Yet she was doing nothing to actually make this happen. While I was on the next court making adjustments and tuning in to how my body was feeling on the serve, she was spiraling around in the world of expectations, disappointment, and frustration, essentially “living in the problem.” But don’t misunder- stand me. Her difficulty wasn’t due to a lack of effort; her mind was stuck on the immediate result and seemed to forget the importance of focusing on the key things that would actually help her find a better rhythm. 

It’s really easy to hand over the keys to your own development and lose the opportunity to increase your self-awareness and confidence. Becoming aware of yourself and your approach to the game is critical if you are going to translate the skills you learn into competition. When a coach tells you to keep your shoulders turned, check this out in your own body. See if you can feel what you are being told. Be a participant in your own learning process. Remember, you are the only one in your body. Your experience and perceptions about what you are being told or what you feel play a big role in how quickly you will improve. 

Learning how you learn is critical in this day and age with so much information and such a demand for instant results and success. We need to learn how to make adjustments in the moment when things aren’t going our way. We need to become more tuned into what we feel physically when we do things well. What technical changes feel right? What are we focused on when we are successful? We are responsible for our own learning. Nobody can do this for us. Of course, approaching your game in this way requires a paradigm shift that views learning and improvement as a high priority.

When you spend more time focusing on what you need to learn, you will find the results beginning to happen, perhaps with less effort than before. 

To improve the rate at which you improve, you need to become more aware of how your body feels when it hits the ball well. Learn to tune in to your body. Keep your emotions out of it as best you can. Having more kinesthetic awareness (physical feeling—the ten sion in your body, your body positioning, feel of the ball at contact) will help you become more aware of what you may need to adjust in the middle of a match. The answer to improving lies more in your body than in your head. Try to stay out of your head and try to avoid analyzing. Let your body teach you and then give this feedback to your coach. You have more knowledge in your body than you realize. 

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The post Engage in the Learning Process appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

In the near future, perhaps sometime next month or early June, this first wave of Covid will be behind us. This will be a relief for everybody.

Will you be depleted and burned out when you re-emerge? Or, will you have a new appreciation for the little things in life, including your relationships with friends and family, and, of course, the game of tennis?

One crucial factor that will help you not only to survive, but even thrive, is resiliency. It’s easy to think that people are either resilient or not. But, in reality, everyday, in any moment, you can choose to BE resilient. And, amazingly, this will even begin to re-wire your brain so you can manage stress more effectively in the future.

In an interview study with 12 Olympic champions, Fletcher and Sarkar (2012) found that athletes who encountered a wide variety of stressors possessed five main psychological protective factors (optimism, motivation, confidence, focus, and perceived social support) that underpin the resilience-stress-performance relationship. In fact, most successful athletes have experienced at least one major crisis in their lives that they’ve had to overcome, which they claim was the differentiator in their career.

It’s important to know that stress resides neither in each of us nor in the environment but in the relationship between the two.

Hence, it appears that resilience is one important characteristic that will help you decrease your experience of stress. In other words, when you perceive stress as temporary, believe that you will ultimately grow from this shutdown and choose to approach new activities and relationships, rather than avoiding them (take walks, exercise, communicate with friends), you will not burn out, but grow instead.

Three Takeaways Highlights:

1. View this time as an opportunity to strengthen your resiliency. If and when you hit a “pot hole” each day and you feel discouraged, frustrated, anxious or bored, use this moment as a pivot point to rewire your brain. Just like on the tennis court, ask yourself a productive question,”What can I do now that will be a positive for me?” Even if your first thought is negative, don’t listen to it and do it anyway. Momentum often can carry the day. The brain is designed to answer questions. Feed it ones that will move the needle in a positive direction.

2. Remind yourself that this situation is temporary. You are here because you have survived many difficult moments in life in the past. If you can get through this without too many scars, maybe even become better for it, you will have won this battle. Remember, “This too shall pass.”

3. Make a list of important people in your life who you would like to connect with during this unprecedented pause. Perhaps you can reach out to one person per day, 3 per week, or whatever you’d like. It’s easy to drift into complacency after awhile and lose the zest as the days can tend to bleed into one another. Don’t let inertia stop you. Take control of what you can control–the secret sauce of strong minds and becoming more resilient.

How you decide to view this experience, choosing to actively engage in your life and remembering that it is, in fact, the most difficult moments where the door opens for your greatest growth of all. One point/day at a time. Enjoy your day!

I hope you’ll check out my new online course that I put together with Craig O’Shannessy, the world’s leading strategy analyst who has worked with Novak Djokovic for the past three years! This is the modern day version of the Inner Game of Tennis in video form. These lessons can apply to the match of your life now as well! Click here: Watch the Video for Getting Tight.

The post Choosing Resilience in Adversity appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

What does this time mean to you? Other than staying safe and healthy, and staying connected to your friends and family, how are you viewing this experience?

Is it an unfortunate disaster? An unfair inconvenience? A blow that knocks you off the ladder you were climbing? An intolerable level of monotony?

Or is it an inevitable event–the price we must pay to be alive–and one that all of our ancestors have had to endure in a variety of ways? Is it an opportunity to come together? To find out what we are made of? Certainly, some degree of anxiety is completely normal and, actually, useful to make sure we follow the guidelines and stay safe. But, we have a lot of time before this is all over. What will your response be?

A common phrase on the pro tour when your strategy is no longer working is, “So you’ve been punched in the mouth and you’re bleeding. What are you going to do now?”

The mantra for top athletes is “control what you can control,” a mindset we hear constantly. It’s certainly a helpful reminder. Yet, it this reality—that we actually have so little control over this invisible enemy/terrorist—that also makes this time so unsettling. Because, let’s face it, those of us who have grown up in America, which mindset have we been taught? Control as much as you possibly can, right?

So what do we do? We create. We innovate. We fix. We try harder. We DO more. We don’t give up. We fight for it. “If we believe it, we can achieve it,” we think.

Now, almost overnight, we’re being asked to stop. Stop the busyness. We are being told that to help slow down the tsunami we need to do less, not more. For once, the solution, for most of us, becomes a paradox—doing less in our lives will be part of the cure. The fix is in the art of doing nothing.

And, as always, there will also be millions of people who survive and those who even thrive during this time—new businesses will emerge, books will be written, the landscape of education may likely change quite dramatically, new relationships will form, current ones will deepen, new “practices” will be put in place, others will fall away.

And, trust me, the jarring juxtaposition of nurses and doctors all over the country right now risking their lives for the ill is not lost on me. The level of compassion that is being demonstrated is astounding. Humanity shows itself in times like these–both good and bad.

But, perhaps, this will eventually become a positive “reset” for the entire world and we will have more compassion for each other and a sense of connection when this is all over. Amazingly, it is this outcome that is possible and each of us has a hand to play, which carries more impact than we might now be able to see.

The irony is that we can draw upon many, if not all, of the same principles we have been taught—Create. Innovate. Fix. Try harder. Do more. Don’t give up. Believe. The only difference is that we need to apply them in a different environment with different rules at this moment.

Know that if you are doing less, this is exactly the right thing to do now. This could even become the most restorative time of your life. And, ironically, perhaps even the most “productive.”

A client said to me today, “I mean, when are we ever going to get another opportunity like this?”

Doing nothing has new meaning. Take this opportunity and don’t allow the blanket of anxiety or depression suffocate you. It almost had me today. But, as I wrote about in my book, The Best Tennis of Your Life many years ago, we can all choose to “behave our way into the zone.”

For me, today, I will write. I will begin a new meditation practice. I will exercise. I will call a friend. I will write a note to you. I will spend time with my family and enjoy what I can control. I will appreciate the blue sky. I will believe that all of America will eventually come together and fight the good fight and stay at home.

But, make no mistake about it, as the days wear on, I believe we are going to have to make these “productive” choices every single day. And some days you may lose the battle. That’s ok. We can still win this war!

On a very different note, as I said a few days ago, I have been working on a new tennis project that I’m excited to share with you. More details on this very soon.

Until then, be well and keep choosing to engage in activities that allow you a deep focus and give you a sense of purpose.

We are all in this together! Please do reach out if you have anything you’d like to share or questions you might have. I always enjoy hearing from you.

The post Choose the Path of Engagement appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

Yesterday, I spoke with an anxious entrepeneur in his early fifties who had to close down all of his businesses and pull back from purchasing a home, a 15 year old perfectionistic boy trying to adjust to the loss of his sport, increased homework load and cabin fever and a mom with four children embarking on writing her first novel while juggling home-schooling and a difficult marriage. The list of people’s personal life circumstances are endless. But, I think we can all work on how we experience this tumult and choose–every day–how we will manage the uncertainty, pressure, grief and loss and come out of this stronger than ever. I really do believe it’s possible.

Being in a pandemic, with our liberties stripped from us overnight, nobody has a playbook on what you should do right now. But, perhaps borrowing from past experience and the best mental practices, we can create a better path forward together.

Because if mindset has ever mattered, it is now.

Here are a few suggestions to consider to manage your emotional state as we all adjust to this new “normal.”

1. Draw Upon Gratitude.  When I was about 30 years old (about the time Christoper Reeves–Superman) fell off his horse and became paralyzed, I became acutely aware of  the fragility of life and began to appreciate the little things, especially my ability to hit a tennis ball. The book, Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl also had a profound impact on me–a depiction how people could find optimism in such a horrific situation. I often think about this when I find myself lamenting too long or becoming negative, especially now.

So, what is gratitude and how do you apply it?

Gratitude is acceptance of the present moment, despite the negatives going on all around you. And, right now we are all challenged more than ever. But, this is precisely where resilience can emerge. When we are appreciating the moment, grateful for the cup of coffee in our hand, appreciative of the conversation with a friend and a warm house, it interrupts the sympathetic nervous system response and activates the parasympathetic nervous system–the “fire extinguisher” in our body.

To access gratitude, it also helps to get outside in nature and then allow your eyes and vision to widen. This will soothe the neurochemistry in your brain immediately. When you are frightened you will have the tendency to go inside and narrow your vision. Moments of gratitude will restore you so you can continue toward forward action and being productive.

Remember, we are not hardwired for gratitude, especially in crisis, so it requires deliberate mental effort to acknowledge what is good in your life in the moment. This works on the tennis court as well. For example, in many pressure-filled moments on the court, especially if I’m missing and getting too caught up in the score, I often take my eyes off the court, glance at a tree, perhaps even smile, for a few seconds to allow my mind to refresh. It’s simple but very effective so your mind doesn’t reel into the past or future. You can use this strategy now as well. Maybe this means taking your eyes off the news and onto a project or a hike to expand your perspective?

2.  Practice Mindfulness. Twenty years ago I was introduced to this concept–non-judgmental awareness. That is, being aware of what’s going on around you, including your feelings, but not analyzing or judging it–also not hardwired in, by the way.

The best technique I’ve found to interrupt the brain from its tendency to judge, predict the future and worry, is to shift your focus to “sensation”. For instance, using the bottoms of your feet touching the ground, place your attention there. When you are feeling your feet walking you cannot be thinking at the same time. You can do this with anything–taking a shower, drinking a glass of water and walking through the grocery store, which I highly recommend so you can know what you’re touching and not touch your face! If you are feeling what you are touching, you cannot be engaged in thought. Try practicing “mobile mindfulness” for a few seconds many times throughout your day. This will also help you move into the driver’s seat to begin making choices on where you place your attention in any moment.

With a few more daily doses of gratitude plus mindfulness my hope is that we can all weather this storm just a little bit better. And keep an eye on your media consumption. Oh, boy.

In my next email I’d like to pivot back to the great game of tennis as well and share with you some of my recent writing and an exciting project I’ve been working on that might be fun for you to explore during this unexpected time.

Wishing you and your families health and safety during this challenging time.

Please do send me a note if there is anything in particular you’d like to discuss or have me address in future posts.

Here’s a short breathing exercise for you to practice mindfulness:

The post Minding your Mind in Challenging Times appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

2. Practice letting the thought go. Literally, take a windshield wiper in your mind—that’s right—like the wipers on your car and wipe the drops away. I used this in the finals of the World Championships many years ago (still do) and it helped me take the title. Learning to wipe away or letting the thoughts go (not holding onto them or letting them decide how the match will go) is something you can improve on. But, you need to “catch” these thoughts in the moment and then USE one of these techniques.

Andre Agassi used to describe this inner battle and how he would begin to say as many helpful and productive things to himself as possible. And it began in the shower BEFORE the match. I have done the same for years! And, then we will talk about visualizing in the shower…

I have more strategies to shift your focus, which is, ultimately, where you want to get to. That is, being able to gently REFOCUS to what is relevant for the NEXT point.

Of course, if you don’t “catch” these thoughts, which takes practice over time, it can and will quickly affect you emotionally and physically. And, this is what part two of my course will teach you–that even when you get tight there is a way to “drop” back into a “looser” state. It’s not all or nothing…more on this later.

Just wanted to give you a little more guidance on how you, too, can begin to master your focus!

Prioritize your focus and take charge of it and let’s see what happens to your performance and satisfaction on the court.

What’s it like for you when you try to catch your thoughts, reframe them positively or let them go?

The post Prioritize Your Focus appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

Last week I spoke with one of my long-term clients who happened to play him just two weeks ago in the Australian Open (I often work with players in the U.S and abroad via video). Two days after the match I asked him, “So, what was it like to play the best player in the world?” He paused and responded with an insight that made perfect sense to me. “It was kind of weird,” he said. “When he hit a winner it didn’t look like he was trying to hit a winner.” 

Doesn’t that resonate? Almost surgically, Novak massages the ball left and right within inches from each side line, pushing you around, getting you off balance just enough to uncoil an inside out forehand or line up a backhand down the line (or a drop shot, etc…) that ends up simply out of your reach. Novak has the weaponry, the consistency and the ability to turn defense into unexpected offense almost at will. So, his winners are just a natural evolution of the last 3-6 shots he leverages for the knock out punch. No need to force it. He simply capitalizes on the openings he creates.

But, how on earth can you even begin to leverage this particular insight for your own game?

One crucial takeaway that could potentially help you improve your game and your results is recognizing the value of building a point, staying calm and patient until you develop a “natural” opening to inflict the final blow or capitalize on a short ball. Often, I see the extremes—going for too much at the wrong time or playing too safe out of fear of missing. That is, often a sense of urgency can creep in, particularly when you have set up a shot and see the opening. This is where players can switch back into outcome mode and force their shots. Like Djokovic, try to stay calm and let the last shot (maybe even a winner) be a natural swing that simply builds on the last shot you hit. 

While Novak has many qualities worth emulating, I encourage you to borrow from his patient and flowing execution that might help you balance any impatience you may experience as you construct points and move the ball around with “controlled aggression.”

Many years ago I developed a concept I call the “sweep.” As if I have a broom in my hand I simply move the ball left and right away from my opponent. I am not going for winners. I’m just putting them off balance. Many players seem to like the idea of “sweeping” their opponents around the court. Give this a try and see what you think. It’s helped me simplify my game plan, especially in many pressure situations.

I also can’t help point out that when Novak does miss, while he can get as irritated as any mortal among us, if you notice, he also employs a smile, which I am quite sure has been cultivated over the years (probably mostly through yoga and meditation) as he is able to rise above the moment, find a little levity and transform this natural irritation into something constructive. It is magical and I believe plays a part in his personal mastery. Neither Rafa nor Fed seem to have this tool/perspective when they miss a sitter. You can read more about this concept in the chapter of my book, The Best Tennis of Your Life, titled, Smile to Expand Your Perspective. 

As you prepare for your next match try to visualize yourself building points (i.e. sweeping) with deep enjoyment as you run your opponent around. And if you happen to hit in the net a few times along the way (you will…so give yourself an error “quota”), remember that it’s only one point and you have the great fortune to come back to the line, yet again, and try to improve on the last point. Doesn’t get much better than that. 

The post What’s it Like to Play Against Novak Djokovic? appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

What is it? Fear with many faces. 

Fear of your own disappointment if you lose to someone you feel you “should” beat.

Fear of what other people will think or say if you lose to a lower ranked player. 

Fear of not living up to your expectations. 

Fear of not getting in to the college you think would reflect a positive self-image in your eyes or the eyes of others.

Fear of being dropped off the team. 

In other words, tennis, success, life are all riddled with the same uncertainty. To stay focused in the performance arena, on any given day, you don’t know if you will win or lose. Guess, what? Neither does Federer, Djokovic, or even Rafa. Do you think Novak knew he would win Wimbledon this year? Not a chance. What about the U.S Open? Nope. Did he believe he could win; that he was capable of winning? Absolutely. 

In the end, what do you need to succeed or perform at your peak more consistently and win more? You need to COMMIT. You need to commit to HOW you want to play. And you need to be specific and STUBBORN about it. 

What if you feel nerves before the match? COMMIT. See yourself playing on your terms. Do you know what your terms are? You need to know them. 

And after you COMMIT to HOW you want to play, guess what? Your body, at times, may decide to NOT commit. In fact, it will by itself just back off, hoping your opponent misses. It’s natural. 

So, again, what do you need to do? What does this mindset require? You need to be STUBBORN. You approach the same match, the nerves, the challenge from a different point of view. You do it differently.

You become STUBBORN about this. You become stubborn about coming over your backhand despite the nerves. You become stubborn and remain positive despite losing the second set after losing your own set points. You choose to not not doubt, but believe in possibility. You choose to swing through the ball to your target when closing out a lead. Being stubborn is the secret sauce to your best days.

You have to take the plane (you) off automatic pilot put yourself in the cockpit because do you know who you allowed to fly your airplane? FEAR. 

That’s right. Fear is flying the plane because you went on autopilot—habit, anxiety, hope, comfort zone all put the plane on auto.

And here is where massive confidence can enter. You DECIDE to put yourself in the cockpit and COMMIT to playing on your terms—stepping in to your returns, focusing on everything relevant other than the importance of the score, which is not your guide. Let me say this again. The score is NOT your guide. Your “terms” are the guide. 

Here are my terms every match I play to name just a few:

1. Loose and aggressive
2. Eyes focused on the court, very disciplined with my eyes
3. Feel my feet/body and VERY little in my head
4. Move the ball around like crazy
5. Let go of the last point quickly—radical acceptance 

These are now built in. I rarely find myself lamenting over lost point and games. I don’t want to be a VICTIM of my mind. I refuse to be a victim and let my “little mind” fly the plane. No, I want my “wise mind” to fly it. 

But, who is going to do this for me? My parents? Coach? Friends? Not a chance. 

YOU must do this for yourself. 

My advice to you is please put FEAR in the back of the plane, recognize that you have a CHOICE and KNOW that you can loosen up, commit to your shots and play on your terms. 

It feels amazing, and ironically, you will win more than you ever imagined.

The post True Grit appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

While the amount of dialogue about the mental game may appear to have reached an all-time high, the concepts, the devout followers, the relevance of the inner game, are far from new.

And, I think it is fair to say that in 1972 the Inner Game of Tennis, authored by Tim Gallwey, was the first widely received book, not just relevant for the game of tennis, but for all sports–and eventually business, too.

Why? Was it timing that made the Inner Game of Tennis so successful? Perhaps it helped to be one of the first on the scene. It was cutting-edge.

But, I don’t believe that was the primary reason for its great success. Rather, I believe, it was the premise behind Gallwey’s work that struck a cord and humanized the inner conflict we all face when attempting to perform, particularly something new.

The Inner Game of Tennis

As a sport psychology consultant and psychotherapist for the past two decades working directly with athletes on their mental game, I can confidently claim that Tim Gallwey’s understanding of the mind/body dichotomy (self 1 and self 2) was ahead of its time.

The Inner Game of Tennis made difficult concepts (ego/Id/superego) become more accessible for all athletes as they now had way to conceptualize the experience of trying to perform without interruption from the brain’s natural cognitive process. With a new instruction manual for the mind (quieting self 1, the brain, so self-2, the body, could perform naturally) athletes could now play without the same level of interference. “Bounce, hit” became the mantra for players along with the idea of trusting the body and the principle of “less is more” when it comes to thinking and where you place your attention on the tennis court.

For me, this process became a personal quest over the past two decades to help other people truly become a witness of their thoughts–not victimized by them–refocus on the moment at hand and committing to their intention, win or lose.

Easier said than done, of course. But isn’t that what makes this game so damn frustrating and compelling? Clearly, a worthy pursuit!

Personally, I am extremely grateful for the Inner Game of Tennis. It has helped shape my career and approach to sports psychology. I’m humbled by the fact that some have compared my book, programs, and online courses, to Tim’s incredible work.

A big thanks to Tim Gallwey for diving deeply into the habits of the mind over 4 decades ago. He blazed a trail that has served as a foundation for people wanting to master their craft in a variety of sports and in many walks of life.

The post The Inner Game of Tennis – by W. Tim Gallwey appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

“We had it. It was mine. I can’t believe it. What happened? I blew it. I choked. Aaargh.”

Matches at all levels are lost every day because players are unable to “close it out.” Pros, juniors, college players, and competitive league players confront this challenge universally. Interestingly, in many ways, this phenomenon is a microcosm of the dynamics that play out in athletic competition in general – trusting your skills and playing to win, focusing on the process versus the results, maintaining concentration and intensity, and neutralizing momentum shifts.

We’ve all been there – leading 5-2 in a set then somehow letting it slip away. And how these losses hurt! After the match we shake our heads and replay the key shots in our minds wondering what would have happened if we had only attacked that second serve or come to the net for a volley at match point. Deep down we are disappointed in ourselves because the loss could have been avoided. We fell short not because we didn’t have the strokes, but because we lost our mental and emotional edge. This realization irritates us for days. We can live with the other player out hitting us, picking up his game at key moments but giving it away is unforgivable, and we are very hard on ourselves. But it is this very challenge and those frustrations that intrigue us and bring us back the next time to test ourselves again.

So what typically happens when a player is leading in a match and then loses? Well, it depends on the player, but here are several reasons:

Protecting the Lead

The most typical response in this situation is to tighten up and become tentative. Players begin to protect their lead and hope their opponent will hand them the match. These players, as Tim Gallwey long ago discussed, begin playing “not to lose.” In other words, they abandon their more aggressive style of play and rely on the opponent to make errors. This is a recipe for disaster. Even if these players win they feel horrible about how they played. It hurts their confidence, and, unfortunately, reinforces the possibility that they will play in a similar way the next time.

Attached to Results (High Arousal)

Invariably, players become overly attached to results, particularly in competition that counts. Getting absorbed in the process of competition — being in the moment and focused on the task at hand, enjoying the experience separate from the outcome of the match — that is the ultimate challenge for tennis players and athletes alike. As players begin savoring the possibility of winning, they become distracted by the attractiveness of this outcome. They lose focus, are unable to stick with their game plan, and instead of enjoying the game, they shift their attention to the results. They become too attached to winning and it makes them tight. As they try to protect their lead, they get nervous and over analyze, which negatively affects stroke production.

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Relax and Lose Momentum (Low Arousal)

Other players, though less frequently, actually relax too much. They feel they are in the “drivers seat”, and have the room to pull out from the match for a moment and briefly celebrate their success. This is often fatal. Losing a game or two at this point can be very costly. The players with the lead frantically attempt to bring their attention back to the match – they get tight, over think, and perceive the momentum has shifted. And, often, it has shifted. Relaxing when leading, though on the surface seems to be the opposite of getting tight, is simply a different manifestation of the same problem—attachment to results. Attention shifts to the score and we feel we have some “breathing room.” Although relaxing feels better than getting nervous, it can be just as costly. As soon as a game or two is lost, we are back to the anxiety anyway. In many cases, we have created a momentum shift both in our own minds and in our opponent’s as well.

The Critical Voice Kicks In

We all have a critical voice with which we must contend. We grew up with that voice—the doubter, the critic—and he/she comes out in full force when we need him the least. As soon as we are on the verge of something good, enter Mr. Doubt. “You better not lose this now. You’ve choked before. Here we go again.” He knocks on our door and we let him in. It’s all down hill from there. And once again, we’ve lost the “mental edge.” Instead, answer the intruding critic with “I’m tougher than this player. I’m not going away until it’s over. He’s going to have to beat me”

How Do We Keep the Mental Edge?

1. Stay with your game plan. Don’t change it because you are leading. Finish him/her off with the strokes and strategy that got you there.
2. Use positive phrases to maintain concentration and appropriate arousal. When you need it, repeat any of the following affirmations as much as possible: “I am winning this match.” “This is mine.” “I deserve this one.” “I love this challenge.”
3. Smile when the critic comes knocking. Don’t fight him. Laugh at him. You are in control and busy enjoying the competition.
4. Keep your eyes focused on specific targets–Strings, ground, where you want to hit the ball. Avoid looking around.
5. Breathe deeply and rhythmically to maintain physical relaxation. Make this a routine. Players tend to constrict their breathing under stress.

In the final analysis, closing out a match is no different than any other aspect of competition. Like every point in the match, it requires total focus, intensity, and appropriate arousal level. Stay loose, stick to your game, focus on each point, and enjoy the challenge. Diffuse the inner critic with a smile and you are on your way to having and keeping the mental edge.

The post Closing Out Matches appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

As I began to challenge this paradigm–rigid beliefs that were actually not based on possibility or my overall ability as a player or strengths as an athlete–I began to open my mind. I opened my mind to NEW ways of being on the court. I explored what it felt like to be “loose” and swing through my shots without the same rigidity and self-imposed limitations. I chose to let go more, focus more on the quality of my shots and even more committed to executing my plan. I noticed that my shots would land deeper with more pace with less effort and I would win more.

It wasn’t a straight line up, but I began to experience the game on a totally different level. I was now flying my own plane, managing the turbulence at times but feeling a renewed sense of purpose on the court–that the HOW of the match mattered more than anything else. It was a personal quest for freedom. And how sweet it was to find it. I am even more proud now to share this experience with others so they, too, can take off the shackles and play on their terms in every match they play.

The post Playing Tennis with More Freedom appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

We now have conclusive evidence from MRI scans of the brain and more dependable biofeedback procedures that show how a feeling of gratitude or deep appreciation can impact our entire nervous system, including how our brain functions. The connection between gratitude and the body has exciting implications, particularly as it relates to tennis performance.

Feelings of gratitude will almost always have a calming effect that will lower your tension level. Being grateful is acceptance in its purest form. It’s difficult to be worrying about the future, wishing you had a better draw or be angry at yourself for losing the last point, when you become aware of the bigger picture–you’re alive, doing something you love with an opportunity to learn and improve. Being grateful requires us to take a wide-angle view of things. Next time you’re at a tournament, take a step back and remind yourself how fortunate you are to be there. You are most likely relatively fit and healthy, otherwise you probably wouldn’t be competing at all. Ask yourself if you would really want to be anywhere else in that moment. Hopefully, the answer is no!

In the Art of Happiness, the Dali Lama acknowledges the power that we all possess to alter our state of mind. He explains, “As time goes on, you can make positive changes. Everyday as soon as you get up, you can develop a sincere positive motivation, thinking, ‘I will utilize this day in a more positive way. I should not waste this very day.’ Moving to a more grateful state of mind is a choice that can become a habit.”

I have trained myself to get into a more grateful state of mind before matches. As soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning I feel myself walking. I am thankful that I have a day ahead of me to run, hit and compete. I reflect on how lucky I am to have this opportunity. This process puts me in a more present state of mind on the court so that everything I do leading up to the match is enjoyable and part of the whole process of competing. I realize that it is not ONLY about winning, even though that is an important goal, too. For me, the match is a gift and I walk on the court with this feeling inside of me. It helps me focus and stay loose.

You can do the same. To help you get into a more grateful state take a few minutes before your match or on the morning of your match, close your eyes and breathe while you reflect on what you like so much about tennis and embrace the feeling you have. Recognize that today is another day to improve and enjoy doing something you love. We’re not taking any of our wins or losses with us so do your best to enjoy the moment and embrace the challenge before you. This is a mind-set that can be strengthened and one that is available to you if you choose to access it.

The post Play with Gratitude appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

There is a big difference between practice and competition. Everybody knows this. The key is to learn how to perform as well in competition, even better, than you do in practice. The best athletes in the world do. How?

They are deeply committed to what they are doing in the moment. They have an acute awareness that if they do what they have trained the outcome will be there. They are willing to make mistakes as long as they play the right way, the way they have trained. They understand that they will not reach their potential, that they will lose, if they don’t execute their plan. This commitment, this intention is one of the main things that separates pros from amateurs.

Most amateurs are not willing to go out of their comfort zone. They fear mistakes, losing and what people might say if they lose. I understand how overwhelming this mindset can be. I know it is a strong current of external approval that is always sweeping by ready to take you down the river of “win at all costs.” The mind may be saying “process” but the body is saying, “How about we ‘let it go’ tomorrow? Just let me get the ball back this game and maybe my opponent will choke and give it to me.” Here’s the problem: Sometimes they do and you are rewarded. And, while you may have won the point, the game or even the match, you will be even less likely to hit through the ball next time. Your brain will bargain with you in the next match as you face this DECISION.

People on the street, who are completely addicted to drugs and have lost everything are often still unwilling to change their habits. They are comfortable being uncomfortable and, while they have plenty of reasons that a change would be good for them, they won’t do it. The comfort zone is very safe. But it is the caccoon of mediocrity, perhaps even long-term failure.

You know you won’t reach your potential playing it safe. Or, perhaps you are still in denial. But, if you take an honest look at how you feel when you hold back and really assess how much better you play when you let it go, you will be one step further along the continuum to playing this game on your terms.

The outcome is compelling and may trap you into putting off the challenge we all face: To swing with freedom regardless of the score.

If you make this choice, commit to it with a smile that says, “I’m not falling for it. This is my time. I play on my terms,” just maybe you will get to experience the joy of playing with freedom. And watch the wins pile up without the same attachment. Trust me, it’s possible.

The post Are you Ready to Change? appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

What is the most important factor affecting these athlete’s satisfaction and success in sports? Answer: Parents and coaches.

There’s nothing quite like sports to activate the human nervous system. In most cases, at the end of the event, there is a winner and a loser. Of course, this is one aspect that makes sport so compelling. However, the challenge for so many young athletes is to find the path that helps them develop and excel at the same time. Here are a few guidelines to keep your connection with your child and increase the odds that they will develop more intrinsic motivation–a critical ingredient for a lifetime of enjoyment and success.

1. Manage the Rollercoaster of Winning and Losing

Many parents have an instinct to try and talk kids out of their feelings instead of empathizing with them. Remember that children see the world, and definitely sports, in two ways—all good or all bad.. So, instead of dismissing their feelings and praying they see things from your perspective right away you say in a genuine way, “I know losing is hard. You tried so hard and it didn’t work out. But I loved watching you play and seeing how you never gave up.” Shorter the better. Memorize these comments because you will forget them in the heat of the moment. Just like I have athletes burn a few key phrases into their mind before and during games, you, too need a parent performance plan when trying to tame the “inner beast” after a loss.

2. Tread Lightly When Instructing your Child

The old adage: Less is more couldn’t be more on target. The key is to make any advice succinct and almost always set up by a positive comment about what they did well. Research actually shows that it’s not how much you are involved in your child’s sports experience, it’s a matter of degree—that is, how intensely, how frequently and how long you immerse yourself in it. In the long-run, young athletes will get the most from you in terms of confidence building and motivation rather than specific technical skills. So, next time you have the urge to yell at your child floating around out there on the athletic field or want give them a few tips as soon as the game is over, consider timing. It’s a tightrope but if you learn how to balance on it, you can maximize the experience for you and them.

3. Reframe Pre-Event Anxiety

First, you need to help them understand that the arousal in their bodies happens to every athlete. Some athletes get more, some get less. The feeling by itself doesn’t mean they will play poorly or lose. It also means that they care about their sport. Athletes need to understand that they actually need a healthy amount of it to actually perform at their best.

If they can begin to interpret pressure as exciting and a positive challenge they will train their mind to embrace this feeling, not fear it. Michael Jordan, prior to his retirement said, “The day I don’t feel nervous is the day I know I must quit the game of basketball.” Regardless of his nerves, Michael always wanted the ball. He viewed his nerves in a very positive light and always grabbed the opportunity to play and improve. Teach your child to view nervousness as excitement. Help him see that it is a choice. How we think about what we feel makes a dramatic difference. This will begin to help him create a new association to the feeling. Once he sees that he has control over himself and can see nervousness from another vantage point he will perform better and develop greater confidence in himself.

4. Communicate your Values to Develop Sportsmanship

Children who act out in competitive situations are often more extrinsically motivated—driven more by the trophy, praise and winning. When these desires become threatened or thwarted they can melt down. Their high extrinsic orientation clouds their vision and they have a hard time enjoying the game. They are often running high on adrenaline and are in a progressive stage of “fight or flight.” This is when bad sportsmanship can emerge. To combat this, focus on the details of the game over and above the outcome–the great defensive play, their ability to bounce back after a mistake, etc… If children see that you value effort, tenacity, teamwork and sportsmanship, they will begin to internalize these values over time. When their behavior deteriorates be clear about your expectations and what you are willing to do in the way of boundaries. Actions often speak a lot louder than words. If you set a limit that they can’t play in the next match or game stick to it. They need to know you mean business.

5. Give your Child Space After a Game

The classic post-match mindset for veteran parents is to allow kids to cool down and have time to process what happened before inserting their own observations. So, when they finish the event you say, “Hey sweety, where would you like to go for lunch? What does this do? It reminds them and their hijacked brain that life goes on and know that you are not upset or disappointed. It allows them to briefly exhale from the intensity of what they just went through and helps them to continue building a positive association to competition. It builds their growth mindset and provides space for an accurate assessment of what happened—rather than just their typical all or nothing, negative spin (i.e. “it was horrible”). It’s amazing how resilient kids can be if we allow them that opportunity. By removing our layer of judgment—perceived or not—kids are freed up to develop a relationship to their sport on their own terms. And this will pay off in spades down the road.

The post 5 Rules to Close the Gap Between Parents and Athletes appeared first on Jeff Greenwald.

Even though by some standards I was excelling in the game, for years I had felt as though I wasn’t tapping my potential. How did I know this? I would hold back on my shots when the score became close. I would miss my best shots that I made in practice just a day before. I would lose matches after leading. I found myself worrying constantly whether I would win or lose a match, which often made me nervous and play worse.

After years of periodic frustration, curiosity, and armed with a degree in both clinical and sports psychology, I landed on what I believed was the root of the problem—fear. Fear of making a mistake. Fear of a “missed opportunity.” Fear of losing. Fear of my own disappointment. Fear of not receiving validation from others.

Enter Awareness—The “Old” Paradigm

When I finally faced the truth about what I was choosing to do on the court and became aware of my unrestrained ego, my experience in competition began to shift. As you can imagine, this process involved some self-reflection. As I did this, questions began to emerge. What might I be capable of if I didn’t hold back? This was almost enough for me. But, there were more questions. What’s different about me when I’m playing my best? What does it really feel like when I’m loose? Do I really have as much to lose as I think? Don’t I actually lose more and feel worse when I play tentatively anyway? At an even deeper level, having given my heart and soul into the game for years, an even deeper fear emerged. What if I were to regret the way I played the game when I stop competing one day? This thought shook me to the core.

My next thought was, “If this player feels disappointed with his success perhaps there is another measure that would be more satisfying?”

As these questions flowed in, so did examples of other players experiencing similar challenges and disappointments. A sectionally ranked junior worrying that if he lost a match he would not get into a good college and might become homeless. A former Grand-slam semi-finalist, ranked #5 in the world at one time, telling me, “Jeff, the truth is I feel like a failure. I never reached #1 and that kills me. This became quickly etched in my memory and made me think, “If this player thinks he was a “failure” is there ever a time where any of us can say we feel good about our efforts?”

My hunch was confirmed after Mats Wilander reached the pinnacle of the game as the number one ranked player in the world and announced “I have more fun cutting the grass than playing tennis.”

Add to this the numerous and painful matches we all viewed among the game’s elite. Mal Washington blowing a 5-1 lead in the fifth set in the semi-finals of Wimbledon against Todd Martin. The infamous match where Novotna served at 5-1 in the third set of the U.S Open Final and lost. The list goes on and one. “Even the best choke, too,” I thought. Fascinating. What is going on here? And how much control do we really have?

As my old, very result-oriented paradigm approach to the game became clearer and clearer, I started noticing how others were also caught in this “result-trap.” After I came off the court, there was usually only one question waiting for me: “Did you win? Or “How did you do?”

“There it is again,” I thought. As I am sure you know, I was certainly not the only one confronting this. It was happening everywhere. It didn’t take me very long to figure out that if I was going to accomplish my desire of experiencing the feeling of tapping my potential and feeling good about it along the way, a new paradigm had to emerge.

An Alternative Paradigm

After contemplating my recent epiphanies about how fear was impacting my mind and my game, and seeing how this thought process pervaded the psyche of almost anyone I came in contact with, I began to get excited about going against the grain. “If virtually everyone I know is fixated on winning or losing,” I thought, “then I’m going to take another tact.” After all, Mats and my former #5 world-ranked friend were only miserable after making millions of dollars and reaching the pinnacle in the game so I’m going down another road,” I concluded.

What began to change as I shifted my perspective? I began to embrace the feeling of nerves and pressure. I began to experience more joy while competing. My perspective widened and I could focus more on what was “relevant” while playing. I could stay in the moment from point to point longer. I wouldn’t get as upset over errors and could move on quicker. I was less in my head and more in my body.

Other than the age group, the only difference between Mats and me was that I wanted to keep playing because it was a blast. I experienced the ultimate win-win in my mind—I reached my potential and enjoyed it all along the way. The last ten years playing under this paradigm taught me more about myself, life, and tennis than the first 20.

The result: My best days began to replicate. I would hit consistently deeper. I would win the “big” points more often. I could hit harder without losing the consistency. The speed on my serve increased because my arm was looser. I won more and reached the pinnacle of the game in my age group—number one in the world in singles, #1 in the U.S men’s singles and #1 in the U.S in doubles in 2002.

In the following five articles I will be taking you step-by-step through the five principles that helped me play the best tennis of my life. I hope you join me on this path so, you, too can experience what it’s like when you feel as though you are tapping your potential.

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“I’m more relaxed now.” I’m finally enjoying the game.” I’m smarter now.” I feel the ball better than I ever have. I know what my strengths are and don’t beat myself up when I miss.” “I am convinced that my best day today would beat me on my best day when I was playing full time.” These are all responses from current ranked adult players answering my question: “Are you a better player now than when you were young?” What pearls of wisdom can all competitive players draw from the above responses?

There are a number of reasons why players seem to perform better over time.

More Relaxed

Playing tennis with loose muscles is perhaps the single most important aspect of peak performance. With age, players develop a wider perspective around winning and losing. Results, though still important, don’t carry the same threat as they once did. Therefore, players begin playing more relaxed and tend to go for more. Based on my observations in tournament play, players seem to develop more creativity in their games. There is more of a willingness to take risks and miss. This creativeness and looseness translates into a highly enjoyable experience and is reinforced as players begin to also play better as a result of this mental approach.

Ranked juniors and league players could learn a great deal from this wider perspective and relaxed approach. Of course, this is “easier said than done”, as one of my young clients constantly reminds me. But this can be learned and simply needs to be trained in practice and competition. The benefits are tremendous.

My suggestion is for players to begin visualizing tight matches during practice and playing specific game scores in which they often have difficulty. For example, a player who tends to get ahead in the game (30-0) and often lets it slip away should practice playing from 30-0 and closing the game out. Similarly, you can also play games in which the first player to reach 30 first in a game wins.

Research conducted by the USTA shows that players who reach 30 first in a game win the game 84% of the time. Basically, build in pressure as best you can and commit to playing loose regardless of the situation. Force yourself to go for your shots, within your range, no matter what. A more relaxed approach, with loose muscles and a wider perspective on winning and losing may give your game the shot in the arm it needs.

The Process

If you’ve read some of my other articles you may begin recognizing my philosophy of peak performance. Playing well consistently requires an absolute absorption in the process. The qualities that comprise the zone—focus, fun, relaxation, low arousal, positive energy, etc. cannot happen without a complete focus of the mind and body in the process.

Over time, players learn to cherish the experience of competition as much or more than the result. They appreciate their skills and relish their opportunity to still compete at a high level. This is quite a contrast to many of the young junior and recreational players I have personally worked with and observed over the years.

Many of these younger players need to begin translating this concept of “process”—that is, focusing on performance (shots, mind-set, fun) and letting the results happen. This shift is essential. It’s not that older, more experienced players don’t want to win. This is not the case. Often, they want to win badly. But this focus and line of thinking is superseded by the joy of competing.

Developing a Wider Perspective

We hear about this concept constantly. “I just put it into perspective.” “It helped me gain some perspective.” “He just has no perspective.” What is perspective?

Essentially, perspective is a way of thinking about something. For example, at 5-5 in the third set do you see this as fun, as an opportunity? Or is it a threat and scary because you might lose? It is your choice. And this is the point of this article. We choose how we want to think. We decide what our perspective is going to be in any given situation. As I mentioned earlier, more experienced players who have some years behind them finally recognize the power of this choice. Players begin to realize they can control how they think and what they feel. Players develop a greater sense of control as a result of this emotional development. Control leads to greater feelings of confidence and ability to focus. This translates into more creativity on the court, shot selection, depth and pace in many instances.

Sometimes we have to generate perspective even when it’s not there. In other words, using perspective becomes a tool. It doesn’t need to be something that simply develops over time.

When it’s windy and we’re down 5-2 in the third, we realize it’s just a match, life does go on so why not go for broke and have some fun? So we let go and begin playing better than ever. Suddenly, we turn a nightmare day of tennis around simply because we recognize how much pressure we have been putting on ourselves. We relax, let go and take some risks. 5-2 becomes 5-4 and suddenly your opponent begins to feel the heat. The tables turn. Momentum shifts. It happens quicker than you think. A little perspective can go a long way in this game, particularly when it loosens you up.

Begin feeling what it is like when you are truly relaxed and focused on the court. Alternate between various tension levels when you are on the court to feel the difference between tension and relaxation. Develop some more awareness. Cultivate more perspective at difficult times in a match and place the emphasis on getting absorbed in the process, one point and shot at a time. “It’s a cliché,” said Todd Martin, but it works.

Also, begin appreciating your physical gifts and the opportunity to compete and improve. Every day is a new opportunity to hone your game. Stay loose, take risks, and have fun. Learn from those who have gone ahead of you. Why reinvent the wheel? This will all translate into better performances.

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