Well, let’s just not discuss it.

It’s not good for my mental health.

Laura has lived in Memphis for forever. Forever means like 3 years. And, did I mention that Memphis is far? Well, it’s so far that it’s expensive to get there.

You can see why I have to stalk her.

But, it’s high time I get to Memphis. By hook or by crook  (but preferably by Harry Potter plane).

So, it’s time to start saving my pennies. I’m going to need 54,000 of them.

This is my public promise that I will come to Memphis upon collection of those pennies. Unless my mental health gets the best of me first – it might.

But I’ll only come provided that we can sing a lot of Elvis songs.

Please contribute to my Memphis fund. My sanity, and Laura’s, will appreciate it. I accept all forms of money and airline vouchers (Delta only).

I also accept cupcakes, just because.

The end.

– Sarah #2

Is she on gchat? No.

Is she on Facebook chat which I hate but will use to talk to her in extreme instances? No.

So a few days ago I see via Xbox that she’s on her Xbox watching Season 2 of Veronica Mars. I call her. She does not answer. I leave a message roughly saying, “Dude. You are watching Veronica Mars. TALK TO ME.”

I get an email the next day stating how she watched so much Veronica Mars over the weekend. I’m all “I KNOOOOW!”

She calls me. I miss it. I call her. She misses it. And so on.

The stalking continues.

Today, I email her: Do you want book x or book y for your birthday, as an alternative to my previous birthday suggestion.

Her reply: Shouldn’t you be preparing for your interview?

I say: Yeah, I was reading through my portfolio and got distracted by your birthday. It happens.

She says: haha. Am I in your portfolio?

I say: Haha. I have no idea how I went from staring at articles I’ve written to thinking about alternative birthday presents for you. My brain just never stops thinking of you, I guess. I am easily your creepiest friend. Possibly that is also what makes me the best.

So, yeah, I stalk my best friend and I’m not particularly ashamed of it.

She’s hard to catch. So the stalking continues. Eventually I will catch my prey.

I really couldn’t be creepier if I tried.

(Hi, Laura! Call me! I promise I won’t be at the gym this time with a phone that is dying!)

– Sarah #2

I’ve been up to many things, including a long, sweaty run with my friend, Alex, at Valley Forge Park.

You know your run is going to be a good one when you get out of your car and are greeted by this:

Good old fashioned men of the revolution.

Valley Forge was where General George Washington and his troops stayed during the winter encampment of 1777-78. It’s also where about 2,000 of the troops died due to the conditions.

It may not be a great place for a winter encampment, but it’s a great place to run! We ran about 8 miles throughout the park and it was HOT! Good thing there were water fountains or we probably wouldn’t have survived the summer running encampment of Sarah and Alex.

And then I spent my weekend playing with this person:

She is funny.

Finally, you know you’re in Maryland when you can get an alcoholic snowball at the bar. Our love for snowballs know no bounds.

That is all.

– Sarah #2

Well, her birthday is over a week away, but yesterday she got her present!

My parents were storing the table at their house. Obviously it’s not that easy to hide, so yesterday when my parents were babysitting Brenna, she got herself an early birthday present.

I like to think she’s saying, “Aunt Sarah is so awesome. She made me an entire table and I don’t even have to share it with big kids!”

Never mind the fact that I’ve never heard her say my name – despite that she allegedly says it. Also forget the fact that, according to my sister, Brenna prefers to sit on the table rather than at the table.

That’s just her rebel spirit. Keep it up, kid. Never let anyone fence you in. Or make you sit at the table. Totally the same thing.

I hope you enjoy your table and please don’t get any splinters. I am not responsible for those.

– Sarah #2

Sunday night I went to the grand opening of the Wegmans in Malvern, PA, and I liked it so much, I’ve been back every single day since.

Have you ever been to a Wegmans? Previously I had only been once after my friend, Ashley, would not shut up about how awesome it would be and how it would change my life.

Win for Ashley. Ever since that first visit, I’ve been dying to go back. But alas, the closest location to me was all the way in Collegeville, and no one would drive that far with me to visit a grocery store.

But now it’s within my reach, and I want to move into Wegmans and never leave. Ever. I could go on and on about the excellent customer service, the incredible deals, and the hummus bar, but I won’t. Instead, I will share the top 5 reasons I love Wegmans:

1. They have incredible free samples. Yesterday I sampled 2 types of gourmet cheese, some freshly baked bread, iced coffee, shrimp salad with a full shrimp in it, and half a scallop. Seriously. I basically had dinner.
2. The freshly prepared food stations. They have a vegetarian buffet bar. An Asian food buffet bar. A burrito station. A pizza station. And as though that weren’t enough, they also have an entire pub featuring a full menu and a selection of beer and wine.
3. They sell 6-packs of beer. In PA, the law states that the only way you can purchase a 6-pack of beer (or Smirnoff, etc) is from a restaurant/bar. Needless to say there aren’t very many options of beer to choose from. Now I can just go to Wegmans where I can even CREATE MY OWN 6-pack!
4. They have a cheese section. No, it’s nothing like the crappy cheese section you see at Acme or Safeway. It’s not even like the cheese section at Trader Joe’s. It’s a mecca of cheese. A MECCA.

1. There is pub where they serve a full menu of food and drinks. The best part? You don’t have to tip because Wegmans covers the tip for you.

In short, Wegmans is literally my idea of heaven.  Let me die with a fistful of cheese, a whole wheat chocolate chip muffin in the other hand, and a mouthful of delicious tofu.

Amen.

– Sarah #2

All photos courtesy of Wegmans.

That’s a lot of love right there.

So, Friday night, I went to the local fair in Malvern, PA. To say I was excited would be an understatement. I was ecstatic. Once I could see the bright lights and bustle of people, my heart swelled with happiness of the most lame variety.

And oh boy did I have fun. But, there was one great big problem – I’m from the country. I’m from a place where people bale hay and feed cows and you get stuck behind tractors on the way school.

Malvern, PA? The farthest thing from the country you can find. No, it’s not a big city or anything. But, it’s Main Line Philadelphia – where the elite come out to play.

This fair was the Main Line’s attempt at pretending to be country. No, there were no homemade pies. No, my grandma wasn’t at a booth selling tickets. No, there was no dime toss – a travesty considering that’s my very favorite game. No, there were no boy scouts selling pizza or firemen shelling out pit beef sandwiches. There wasn’t even any live local country music playing with everyone dancing along.

There were children carrying coach purses and smart phones. There was a fireworks display that rivals the fanciest I’ve ever seen. There was a speaker system blasting Billboard’s Top 40 Pop Hits in lieu of country music. There was an ATM accepting credit cards. There was a clown in the dunking booth instead of the local gym teacher.

The horror. Oh, the horror.

I satiated myself with deep friend Oreos and a Lemonade and shook my head at all those poor city folk circling around.

I actually had a lot of fun, but just in case I forgot, I’m not from Main Line Philadelphia. In fact, almost every single one of my friends is from the country. And I like it that way.

– Sarah #2

I went to one of my favorite places to run – East Goshen Township Park. The park is in Paoli, really close to my apartment, and it’s so much nicer than running on the street and having to pay attention to traffic and other annoyances – and probably safer.

I love the park because it’s huge. There are multiple playgrounds, tennis courts, basketball courts, volleyball courts, baseball fields, pavilions, and bathrooms with water fountains – necessities when one is running for an extended period of time.

What I really love about the park is that there are always a lot of people around. People biking, people walking (with dogs), people playing – it’s nice to people watch while I get the job done.

There’s a 1 mile loop around the park which I ran on today, but there’s also an additional path across the street that doesn’t have mile markers but is also nice.

I started running later than I wished because I had to charge my iPod, but I actually ended up forgetting it when I left my car. Thankfully, I was distracted by all the staring I did.

On my run today I encountered 2 interesting things:

1) A woman had a small dog (possibly a poodle) who did not have functioning hind legs, so she had a regular leash and then a harness/leash around his back legs that she used to hold him up in the back – sort of like a marionette. It was so sweet.

2) I saw a mom running with her young (maybe 7 years old) son biking with her. At first I was like “how cute.” However, it was weird that they weren’t interacting with each other at all. Then I saw them on my next loop and the mom was running 15 feet ahead of the son who was walking his bike up a short hill and asking her to stop and wait for him. Her response: “No. You’ll catch up.” And she kept on running. Not so sweet.

All in all it was a successful venture. After running I rewarded myself with iced coffee and Harry Potter. It was a nice little Sunday.

The end.

– Sarah #2

I knew you missed it.

Let’s start with the obvious.

Lindsay Lohan. Remember when she was just that sweet girl from The Parent Trap and Mean Girls? Ugh. Go to jail and never come back, Lindsay. I’m tired of you and I’m even more tired of your family.

The other person I’m tired of?

Mel Gibson. Remember when he was that nice guy from BraveHeart and What Women Want? Well, this woman wants you to disappear from the face of the earth, Mel Gibson. Hitting women and tossing out racial slurs and anti-Semitic nonsense like it’s your job – maybe it is your job. I haven’t seen you in any good movies lately – I hope it stays that way.

Now, on a good note.

Oprah’s ENTIRE SET was made of Godiva chocolate yesterday. Seriously. The set was created from approximately 7,000 Godiva bars and 2,400 Godiva truffles. Seriously.

You can take a tour of the set here. It’s incredible. And seemingly delicious since the audience members were invited to eat it afterwards.

Oh, Oprah. You are a genius. And a woman after my own chocolate-loving heart.

What was your favorite gossip item of the week?

– Sarah #2

This weekend I’ve been a busy bee at home in MD. I hesitated to post this because my sister might see it and it will ruin the surprise; however, I can’t help it. I have the desire to share and so I’m sharing. Heidi, stop reading.

I spent my weekend building a present for my niece, Brenna’s, 1 year birthday – a miniature picnic table.

I started with these plans from Knock Off Wood. The plans are really simple, but, to be honest, I could have used a little more direction. This is probably due to the fact that I’m a carpentry novice.

Note: We had to counter sink the screws. I kept asking my dad if I had to make the sink holes. I frequently make up my own vocabulary for things.

I do have some experience building things. Yes, I helped my dad build our shed, as well as our hot tub deck. They were summer-long projects that required a variety of skills, but I was never in charge of the plans in either of those cases. And, even with my dad’s help, this project went awry several times.

However, roughly 6 hours later we prevailed.

The fact that this masterpiece is supporting my weight without breaking in two astounds me. I want to keep it for myself (and I would if it weren’t for the fact that my legs don’t fit under it).

It’s not perfect, but I am proud nonetheless. My dad pointed out that it leans slightly. I pointed out that it’s probably his deck that leans slightly. He should really look into that, no?

So yeah, I totally built a picnic table.

I am as surprised as you are. Trust me.

– Sarah #2

So, I don’t really do leisurely very well. Regardless of where I’m headed, I move with purpose. In the mall? In the grocery store? You better get out of my way. I will pass you. It can be annoying for those who are with me. It’s like a game where I continually consider the best way to pass people.

I suppose it’s a mild personality flaw, but I can’t help it. I implore you to keep up with; otherwise, I’ll see you at the top of the escalator because I’m not going to stand there riding it up to the top.

Long walks on the beach interest me, if completed at a brisk pace. Stopping to smell the flowers is also something I enjoy, as long as it’s merely a respite from all the fast walking. I’m not much for “slow and steady wins the race” – I get really bored. I need to be moving.

Anyway, I was reading this month’s issue of Shape magazine and I came across an interesting blurb:

“A new study from Harvard University found thatt women who walk briskly – about 3 miles per hour – are 37 percent less likely to suffer a stroke than those who don’t walk for exercise.”

The ideal speed, apparently, is one where you can still hold a conversation but probably cannot sing. Twenty minutes a day of walking at this speed is all you need – not much considering 80,000 women die from strokes each year.

I really love when random health studies justify my habits. My coffee prevents Alzheimer’s, dark chocolate lowers my blood pressure, and obnoxiously walking fast everywhere I go helps prevent strokes.

Go science!

– Sarah #2