"Spin-Doctor Parenting"

Helping Kids Cope with Disaster

2012-05-27T12:10:00.000-04:00

Helping Children Cope with Disaster

Fifteen miles away from my home rages a wildfire that has destroyed more than 21,000 acres, as well as a number of homes. Naturally, my mind wanders to the youngest who are affected by these fires. Because I will be involved in some of the relief efforts shortly, I don't have the time I would like to be able to give specific support information for parents. However, I am grateful that there are some fabulous resources already available and at your disposal.

Disaster Reactions

Whether it is a fire, earthquake, flood, torando or another natural disaster, the reactions that children will experience are similar. Helping them maintain some semblance of normalcy in an abnormal situation will be helpful. There is MUCH more that parents and caregivers can do to support kids through a disaster.

Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA)

For an excellent, in-depth, printable workbook, I highly recommend you check out FEMA's resource here. This workbook proivdes you with age-specific information about a child's reaction to a disaster and meaningful ways in which you can respond.

The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry

The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry offers invaluable tips to parents on helping children after a disaster.

Most Importantly: Tell the Truth

The truth is always the best approach.

"I we can mention it, we can manage it."

"If we can talk about it, we can tame it."

When children overhear conversations and are given only partial information, they are left to their own devices to fill in the blanks. Often, they become more fearful by the things they imagine, than the reality at hand. It is best to be direct, open and honest. Help them see the "helpers" and all of the good work that is going on to make things better.

Piggy Back Rides and Bear Hugs

2012-05-15T22:16:00.000-04:00

Mother Nature is wonderful.

Children get too old for piggy-back rides

just about the same time they get too heavy for them.

~Author Unknown

Piggy-back rides, like some of the other pleasures of early childhood, are outgrown far too soon! But just because junior outgrows being slung over your shoulders does not mean he has outgrown his need for physical contact with you.

Most of us know intuitively, and numerous studies confirm, the need for ongoing physical contact for our kids. As social creatures, we never outgrow our need for physical touch. In fact, many of the elderly people I have had the pleasure of working with have shared that they enjoy twice-weekly trips to the salon, for that very reason.

So what to do when you can no longer play airplane or other games that require you to physically lift your offspring off of the ground? Here we give a few tips on things you might find helpful:

1. Bear Hugs - Dole out plenty of hugs. Bear hugs help, especially with teen boys. If your child gives you the cold-shoulder, persist anyways. You can even tell him/her, I know you don't like this, but I just can't help myself...don't worry, you'll get used to it.

2. Car-versations - With our highly mobile society, we often spend more time in transit than we did two decades ago. Capitalize on this time with your 'tween and teen for converstion and "catching up". Talking in the car is less threatening because your teen does not have to make eye-contact. This can offer a happy middle-ground for 'tweens and teens that are hard to engage.

3. Never give up, never surrender - If your 'tween or teen is sullen and disinterested in carrying on a conversation that goes beyond, "Where did you put my new jeans?", do not give up. Continue to do your best to engage your teen and let him or her know that you are there for him/her. He or she is counting on you to do this very thing.

Spin-doctor tip: You KNOW your child needs you to provide shelter, food, warmth and LOVE. Don't be discouraged by his or her seeming disinterest in your hugs. Give them anyways...and give them in abundance. If you are a parent with small children, keep heaping the hugs on now...and NEVER stop!

Books That Help Kids Deal with Cancer

2012-05-12T10:11:00.000-04:00

The "C" Word

Cancer. The mere word strikes fear in the hearts of most. Nobody wants it. Thousands are diagnosed with it. If it throws adults for a loop, imagine what it can do to a kid. When kids are forced to face cancer, by either a diagnosis of a loved one, or that of their own, having the resources to support them is imperative. It can make all the difference between coping and not.

Helping Kids Cope

If we can mention it, we can manage it. If we talk about it, we can tame it. Being straightforward and developmentally appropriate is crucial, when helping kids understand cancer. Keeping information from them, being secretive, and allowing them to fill in the blanks on their own causes much more anxiety and stress.

Helping Kids Cope with Their Own Diagnosis

The Famous Hat: A story book to help children with childhood cancer to prepare for treatment, namely chemotherapy, and losing their hair

I'm a Kid Living With Cancer

Kathy's Hats: A Story of Hope

Let's Talk about When Kids Have Cancer

H is for Hair Fairy: An Alphabet of Encouragement and Insight for Kids (and Kids at Heart!) with Cancer

The Great Katie Kate Tackles Questions About Cancer

Healing Images for Children: Teaching Relaxation and Guided Imagery to Children Facing Cancer and Other Serious Illnesses

Taking Cancer to School

Chemo to the Rescue: A Children's Book About Leukemia

Helping Kids Cope with the Diagnosis of a Loved One

Mommy Without Hair? My World Turned Upside Down

Mom Has Cancer

My Daddy's Cancer: An Interactive Book for Children

What Is Cancer, Anyways? Explaining Cancer to Children of All Ages

Nowhere Hair: Explains cancer and chemo to your kids

Tickles Tabitha's Cancer-tankerous Mommy

Butterfly Kisses and Wishes on Wings: When someone you love has cancer...a hopeful, helpful book for kids

Talking with My Treehouse Friends about: An Activity Book for Children of Parents with Cancer

When Someone You Love Has Cancer: A Guide to Help Kids Cope

Let My Colors Out (Coping with Cancer)

The Rainbow Feelings of Cancer

When a Friend is Ill

Why, Charlie Brown, Why?: A Story About What Happens When a Friend Is Very Ill

When a Sibling is Ill

What about Me?: When Brothers and Sisters Get Sick

The Fight Against Cancer

Cancer can be scary. Givng information, hope and love is as much a part of the fight against cancer as is radiation, chemotherapy and surgery.

What resources have you found that are helpful? Please share below in our comments so that all may benefit.

Printables for Social-Emotional Development

2012-05-10T21:42:00.000-04:00

Social-Emotional Development Matters

At Kidlutions, helping parents and caregivers help kids deal with some of the tough stuff, like divorce, grief and loss, relocation and BIG feelings, is what we do. Our focus has always been on social-emotional development. As a long-time early childhood mental health consultant and mom of three, Wendy Young, LMSW, BCD, founder of Kidlutions, has devoted her career to helping children, families and early childhood educators raise socially competent and emotionally savvy young people.

Helping You Help Kids

In an effort to help as many parents assist their youngsters in dealing with emotions, managing over-the-top feelings and be successful in all areas of life, we have created a number of printables and downloads that you can access for F*REE.

We hope you enjoy them, and come back soon, as new resources are added regularly!

Happy parenting and caregiving!

How BIG is Your Child's Anger?

2012-05-07T19:50:00.000-04:00

What Size is Your Child's Anger?

Whenever I work with a child with anger issues, I like to have them describe the size of their anger. Is it small, medium, large or super-sized? Some kids never move beyond "medium" while others go from "small" to "super-sized" in mere seconds. We can thank temperament for that, in large part.

If you parent a child with a strong temperament and BIG feelings, you are probably no stranger to "large" and "super-sized" displays of anger. I have certainly seen my fair share, both as a mom and as a therapist.

The Good News

The good news is, we can help our kids learn how to regulate BIG feelings by giving them opportunities to talk about their feelings, name their feelings and identify ways to "shrink down" the intenstiy of it all. I know that this works, because I've seen it in action (both at home, and at my office).

Parents

Simply download our free printable to start the discussion with your child about how BIG his or her anger is. Keep a few on hand to use when you see your child's anger is amping up. Talk about how you can shrink it down to a smaller size. For some ideas, go here.

Teachers

Print out our download and keep several on hand for kids to use when they are getting angry. Encourage them to go back and circle the smaller sized shape as they feel their anger shrinking down. For some ideas on helping kids shrink their anger down, go here.

More on Anger

Subscribe to our Anger Toolbox for Kids to get an introduction to our one-of-a-kind, time-tested, teacher and parent approved system for helping kids shrink down anger in a marked and lasting way. At Kidlutions, helping kids deal with anger is one of our specialties. We have developed and perfected our techniques in the past 25 years! We know they help angry kids!

Side Note

A very savvy reader from our Anger Toolbox for Kids facebook page asked, "What do you do if the child's anger is too big to fit on the page?" An excellent question, for sure! My response was, "You get as much newspaper as it takes, and allow the child to tape as many pieces together as they see fit, until they can draw how big their anger is." Pure simplicity. An excellent way to validate a child's feelings.

Get Your Printable by Clicking Here!

Parent with Compassion

2012-05-05T21:10:00.000-04:00

Compassion Expedites Change

People perform better when they are treated with compassion. A recent study at Case Western Reserve confirms it. When we focus on negatives, failures, shortcomings and the like, people tend to shut down and swing into defensive mode. Not exactly the way to support change, if that is what we are aiming for.

Whatever You Pay Attention To...

Like the old adage says, "Whatever we pay attention to, we get more of!" If that is truly the case...and it appears as though science continues to support that, would you really want to encourage more negativity, failures and shortcomings in others? What about in your kids? How does this relate to parenting?

Knowledge is a good thing. Putting that knowledge to use is quite another. Following is an example of how compassion can be used to motivate change in a child who just brought home a less than satisfactory grade.

The Ole' Switcheroo

In order to be more compassionate and thereby motivate your kids (or anyone else for change), one needs simply to change out a few key words. In so doing, we help people think more about what is working and what they need to change to make life better for themselves.

Let's pretend Johnny brings a "D" home on a report card. Here are two possible responses:

Parent: Johnny, this is just not acceptable. You know we don't allow grades to fall below a "C" in this house. You are going to have to stop all computer games and TV shows until that grade is back up. I won't stand for this.
Johnny: Whatever!

~vs~

Parent: Johnny, I see you got a "D".
Johnny: Yeah, I know.
Parent: Tell me more about that.
Johnny: Well, that class was hard. And the teacher was just no good.
Parent: You struggled a lot.
Johnny: Yeah.
Parent: The work is getting more difficult as you get older.
Johnny: Uh-huh.
Parent: What do you think about the "D"?
Johnny: I don't like it. I wish I did better.
Parent: I wish you did, too. What do you think it would take to do better this quarter?
Johnny: Well, I'm thinking that cutting back on computer and TV time until I get all of my work done will help.
Parent: That sounds like a good plan. Anything else?
Johnny: Well...I could ask for extra help from the teacher. He comes early on Wednesday and stays late on Thursday to help kids who need it.
Parent: That sounds like a good plan. How can I help you?
Johnny: You can remind me about the computer and TV...and I'll ask you for help at home on things I don't understand.
Parent: I can do that. I'm curious to see how things improve with your new approach.

Always Worth It

One of the above interactions takes much more effort on the parent's part (as well as the child's). But it just might result in the child having to think more, take more responsibility and identify new ways to problem-solve. What do you think? Might this work in your house? Are you putting these principles to work already? It isn't always easy, but it's always worth it.

Why You Shouldn't Yell at Your Kids

2012-05-03T21:13:00.000-04:00

I recently saw a T-shirt that said, "Yell if You Like Peace and Quiet!" It's laughable, for sure, but something that takes place in hundreds of thousands of homes across the globe. Kids scream. We try to outscream them to stop the screaming. What is accomplished with this strategy? What is lost?

Screaming or yelling at a child who is emotionally out of control teaches him a few things:

1. Screaming and yelling is how we handle big feelings.

When your child has trouble regulating his emotions, and you respond in a similar manner (by yelling or screaming, also), you are teaching him that this is how one deals with overwhelming feelings.

2. If this is how adults deal with upset feelings, it must be the right way.

When your child sees you dealing with upset feelings by yelling or screaming, he begins to think this is the right way. In his eyes, you are all knowing. He looks up to you. For better or for worse. Consider that children learn mostly by imitating what they see. What are message do you wish to send to your child about managing BIG feelings?

3. This is the quickest way to get my needs met.

If you holler, "Stop that yelling this instant!" your child sees yelling as something one does when he wants to get his way. This is hardly the lesson we want to reinforce for our child.

What is Lost?

When we yell at our child during heated moments, we have lost an opportunity to teach him a better way. Don't let that opportunity slip your fingers. Stay calm. Help your child calm down. Say, "Right now your engine is all revved up. Let's take some deep breaths together to help you calm down," or, "You're angry, let's run in place until your anger is gone," or "How can I help you shrink your anger down so we can solve this problem?" Yelling at a child removes the possibility of teaching for a better tomorrow. Stop yelling. You can start today!

Laughter and Your Family

2012-04-21T16:07:00.001-04:00

Is Your Family Getting Enough Vitamin "L"?

Do you have enough vitamin "L" in your daily diet? "L" standing for laughter, of course.

The Benefits of Laughter

Laughing is good for the body and soul. A good laugh provides the following health benefits:

Boosts immunity
Lowers stress hormones
Decreases pain
Relaxes your muscles
Prevents heart disease

Laughter Increases "Feel Good" Chemicals

A good laugh bonds people together, defuses conflict and strengthens relationships. According to Victor Borge, "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people". It serves as a balm for anxiety, tension and fear and increases the "feel good" chemicals in our brains.

Laughter: Big and Small

Laughter is good for people big and small. If you are a parent, you will likely have a smile spread across your face remembering back to one of your child's first big belly laughs. It doesn't matter if that child is now in his or her 20's or beyond.

Making More Time for Laughs

So this coming year, be sure to include plenty of opportunities for laughter in your life and in the lives of your children. If you need some inspiration, check out the following:

Kids Joke Book

Jokelepedia

Family Fun Activity Book

Knock-Knock Jokes for Kids (printables)

Life Really is a Laughing Matter

The research is clear, and it turns out, life is a laughing matter. We don't need the research to confirm this, though. We know how good it feels to laugh.

When is the last time you laughed with your kids?

What are you waiting for?

You are Not the Boss of Me!

2012-04-17T22:04:00.000-04:00

Just Words

I recently gave our readers a chance to weigh in about things that kids sometimes say that might throw them for a loop, push their buttons or induce high blood pressure in a single sentence. I got several responses, many of them a spin on a few themes, which I have condensed into:

"You are NOT the boss of me!"

"I don't have to listen to you!"

"I HATE you!

"You're stupid!"

There you have it! Just words. Yes, words that create wars in some homes, but words, nevertheless. They only have as much power as you give them.

The Child is Counting on YOU

Notice how the sentences all end with an exclamation point? That's because these words are usually very emotionally charged and said at a time when the child has reached the outer limits of her ability to deal rationally with a situation. While we are on the subject of being rational, let's stop to consider that toddlers and preschoolers have a brain that is nowhere near developed. Their neocortex (highest thinking part of the brain) will take at least two more decades to mature. In the interim, the child is counting on you to show him a better way to manage intense feelings. When you think about it, there are still adults who have trouble with managing BIG emotions.

Don't Personalize

When you can recognize that the words are a last ditch effort for the child to gain some control (over a situation, demands, themselves, etc.), you are much less likely to take the words as a personal affront. Your child is not out to get you, your child is out to get your help in learning a better way.

Say It with Compassion

So, how will you respond when a child throws out one of the aforementioned statements? It will vary, of course, based upon your own personal preferences, but the response must always come from a place of compassion.

It's Not Easy

It's not easy to maintain your composure when it feels as if this wee person is out to get you. Once you recognize these words as a ploy for help rather than a ploy to "get you", it becomes much more possible for you to respond from a place of love.

"You're Not the Boss of Me" or

"I Don't Have to Listen to You"

These statements both come from the same place. A child saying this is looking for personal power and wants to assert her independence. Think about it, a child is given commands all day long. Get your coat, put on your shoes, pick up your toys, eat your food, take turns, share the truck, pet the dog gently, etc.

When a child makes a comment like this, you can calmly reply, "You're right, I'm not. You are the boss of you because you have a brain in your head that controls your mouth, your hands and your feet. You are large and in charge of yourself. Your brain helps you to make good decisions and to do the right thing." Who can argue with that? I said those very words to my youngest son on one occasion when he was about three and a half, and he never once again said, "You are not the boss of me!" Interestingly enough, he did on a few occasions say, "Mom, I am the boss of me, right?" I'd respond with a smile, "Yes, you are, so make good choices!" He grinned from ear to ear as he nodded his head. How empowering is that?

"I Hate You" or

"You're Stupid"

These are words that come from a child who has had it. His feelings are bigger than he is and he is using fighting words. Don't take the bait. Imagine, instead, that your child is handing over his big mess of emotions because he just doesn't know what to do with them. Don't personalize. Instead, try to validate his feelings by saying something like, "This is hard for you right now." "It's hard for you to do what is asked right now." "You're using BIG, ANGRY words. Is your mad feeling small, medium, large or supersized?" "How can I help you?" "Do you want to run in place until all of your anger is gone?" "Do you want to splash some cool water on your face and let your anger go down the drain?"

How Will She Ever Learn?

Parents who haven't yet discovered the magic in responding to underlying emotions, and who are focused more on controlling their child with consequences, might be concerned about how their child will ever develop a conscience or do the right thing without them doling out some sort of a punishment when their child uses these emotionally charged words.

The secret lies in the relationship. When a child knows she is safe with you and that you will help her solve the puzzle of emotions, as well as provide her with solid ways to manage those emotions, you will see behavior changes that are lasting and significant.

As always, we wish you happy parenting!

Entice Your Toddler into the World of Reading

2012-04-14T12:45:00.000-04:00

Joan Brennan is one of our Kidlutions Solutions for Kids Seal of Approval winners for her Reading Focus Card (Patent 7,565,759). She has been more than generous in sharing some wonderful tips to help your toddlers catch the reading bug. She is a champion for reading for all kids. You might also enjoy her previous guest post, Help Your Kids Avoid Summer Brain Drain.

Entice Your Toddler into the World of Reading

Joan M. Brennan

It‘s no secret that today’s parents are busy. They have much on their plates, and that may be an understatement! At the same time, these same, wise parents know that it’s important to take time to encourage reading with their families and in their homes, even when children are very young. After all, the ability to read well is one of the cornerstones of success throughout life. So, what can parents DO to promote good reading and the potential to read well—for life?

As a teacher and parent of 4 sons, I can say that it may take a few minutes each day and a bit of creative thinking on the parents’ part to make this possible. Parents can do some specific things---early and often---to establish and maintain a home environment that promotes good reading, increasing a child’s opportunities for success, both with reading and in life.

6 Expert Tips

Here are just a few things you as parents (and grandparents!) can do early to help your young child grow to become a life-long reader:

1. Read aloud daily to your child—early and often. You’ll find that 15 minutes can be gone in a flash when you and your child are absorbed reading a great story together.

2. Once you’ve “stoked the fires” of reading through your early read-alouds, try introducing your little one to the wonderful world of your local library. Visit often and allow your child to respect books and choose those that interest her, with your guidance, of course.

3. Place those chosen library books and others in every room of your home so that they will always be accessible. Baskets and boxes full of books and other reading material nestled next to chairs and sofas are inviting and can offer much variety to very young and experienced readers alike.

4. During and after the reading of a story, talk about what was read. Ask your child open-ended questions about the plot or characters in the selection:

What do you think will happen next?

How would you end this story?

What else could that character have done (with his “problem”)?

5. If possible, involve your youngster in creating age-appropriate expressions of the story. Drawing or coloring a scene from that story can include the main character or an important part of the plot. This is a good strategy for visual learners who love to draw.

6. Ask your child to pretend he is the main character. Interview him as that character with microphone in hand, creating an audio recording of the exchange of questions/answers. This is a great approach for young, auditory learners. Children are often intrigued and surprised to hear the re-play of their own voices for the first time.

Little Steps Make a Big Difference

These few strategies are just a start when it comes to ideas for providing a home environment that promotes life-long reading. If you incorporate just one or two ideas into your busy days, you’ll experience more quality time together, creating wonderful memories and building an even stronger parent-child relationship. You’ll also be setting the stage for your young child’s future reading success—for life!

So, Happy Reading—together!

---Joan M. Brennan

www.FocusandRead.com

Better Behavior Bonanza: You are NOT the Boss of Me!

2012-04-11T21:08:00.005-04:00

We have already answered comments, questions and concerns for this poll here! Please come see what we had to say about kids who scream, "You are NOT the boss of me! I HATE you! I don't have to listen to you! You're Stupid!"

Kidlutions is pleased to present: The Better Behavior Bonanza!

You've got questions, we can help! I am grateful to the thousands of you who have joined the Kidlution Revolution and the Anger Toolbox for Kids. You are all fabulous parents, educators and clinicians who are dedicated to the social-emotional development and wellness of all children. This is my little way of reaching out and saying, "Thanks!"

Here's how it works

For this installment of the Better Behavior Bonanza, we're focusing on things that toddlers and preschoolers sometimes say that drive you crazy, make you feel batty or make you long for a mind-numbing way to escape the clutches of your pint-sized person.

Don't worry, we'll cover other topics of concern in later Better Behavior Bonanza posts, as well.

Do you have a youngster that tests your patience far more often than you would like? Tell us your concerns and we'll do our best to include a response in our post.

The Early Bird Gets the You Know What!

Hurry, though! The earlier you get your comment/concern in the more likely we are to answer it.

You have only 48 HOURS to respond!

~~Get your questions in by leaving a comment below, or~~ ~~tweeting me~~ ~~(DM's okay, too) with the hashtag #KidlutionsBetterBehavior, or~~ ~~respond anonymously~~ ~~by sending your comment via Survey Monkey~~ ~~here~~. We're sorry. The polls are now closed for this Q & A opportunity. You can go here to see our responses to the questions from our readers!

Act Now

Comments/concerns will not be accepted after 9:30 pm EDT, 8:30 pm CDT or 6:30 pm PDT on Friday, April 13, 2012.

We can't wait to see the concerns you are grappling with and provide you with some solid, helpful suggestions that will help you stop singin' the blues and start having fun as a parent again!

Teen Grief Relief

2012-04-08T23:27:00.000-04:00

Teens can be a tricky lot. Developmentally, they're goal is to separate from you, manage things on their own and to step-out into this world to become self-sufficient. But what happens when a teen becomes suddenly bereaved by the death of parent, a friend, a sibling or a girlfriend/boyfriend?

Here are tips to help you guide your teen through grief:

1. It isn't easy. Nobody sails through grief. Teens may not say much to you, but you can be certain they are in a world of pain when someone close to them dies. Don't be fooled by a sense of false bravado. Grief causes emotional and physical reactions. Couple this with a teen's limited coping experience with death, as well as with their fierce need for independence, and you have a mix that can pose big challenges.

2. Be Proactive. Don't wait for your teen to come to you and request help, assistance or guidance. That may never happen. Rather, continue to reach out to your teen and let him/her know you are there and open to talking whenever he/she is ready.

3. Circle Back. Just because a teen doesn't want to talk about his/her feelings when you ask, don't assume the same will be true the next day or the next or the next. Circle back and revisit things with him/her. Don't harass a teen to share feelings, but let him know that you care on a regular basis.

4. Provide real, tangible support. Teens may not wish to talk much to you. They may wish to be with their peer group and try to maintain as normal as a routine as possible. This is okay. One can only be with their grief for so long. Breaks, from grief-work, and keeping as normal as a routine as possible can be very helpful. Don't assume that your teen's friends know what to say or how to help, though. Provide your teen with books, DVDs, MP3 or iTunes downloads that can help them cope with their grief. We've provided a few recommendations for books below.

5. Share your own grief. Don't try to hide your own grief. Adults sometimes think that hiding their own grief makes things easier for kids or teens. This may actually serve to make them question what is wrong with them if they are still feeling sadness and overwhelming grief, when those around them seem to be moving on with their lives. It is okay to allow your teen to see you cry, grieve and be sad.

6. Grief comes in waves. It also lends itself to discussing how sometimes the grief comes in waves, and even though it feels big and overpowering at times, there are other times when things are much more manageable.

7. Keep rules the same. Adults often think that a grieving teen needs them to become more lax when it comes to rules. The opposite is likely more true. Teens need the safety and security that familiar rules provide and they need to know that while many things are changing in their lives, some things will stay the same.

8. Provide flexibility in some areas. Concentration, focus and the ability to function at the same capacity that one did prior to the loss is comprosmised due to grief. Grief takes a tremendous amount of energy and it is exhausting. A teen may need you to help advocate for extensions on assignments and projects.

9. Provide physical contact. Some teens are more physically demonstrative of their love than others, but during times of grief, it can be helpful for you to reach out with more hugs, a touch on the shoulder or whatever your teen can tolerate. Warmth and compassion can say more than words can, at times.

10. Don't be afraid to ask. Every teen is different. Don't be afraid to ask the teen what is most helpful to him or her. Ask what they have found helpful that you have done, what you need to do more of, what you need to do less of.

Grief is unlike any experience most teens have had. Keep the lines of communication open, provide support and be ready to listen when your teen is ready to talk.

Happy Easter Butter Lamb: A Polish Tradition

2012-04-08T18:16:00.002-04:00

Happy Easter from Kidlutions

Happy Easter, to those of you who celebrate! I hope you are enjoying some peaceful time with your family, making wonderful memories, and reflecting on the true meaning of Easter. Earlier today, while looking for another recipe, I came across a butter lamb on Comfy Cuisine, which transported me instantly to my childhood.

Family Traditions

I remember the butter lamb my mom would get for our Easter dinner. They used to be available in our local grocery store. It's a Polish tradition, and the lamb represents Christ Resurrected.

Waxing Sentimental

It's been years since we've had a butter lamb, but seeing the lamb made me wax sentimental and I knew we had to have one for our Easter dinner. It took only minutes to make. I softened up the butter on the counter a bit and then fashioned it into the near shape of a lamb. I've spent years shaping playdoh into all sorts of animal shapes with kids in therapy, but I must confess, this took a little more fortitude! The butter melts quickly, so you need to work fast. Then I stuck it in the fridge and when it got firm enough, I used a fork to swirl the wool pattern onto the lamb.

I used cilantro for the bedding and stuck a sprig in his mouth and called it good. We'll be making one every year, from now on. It's our new/old tradition! The kids wanted to get a regular stick of butter to use at the table. They didn't want to ruin it. I promised one for next year, too!

What Easter traditions do you have at your house? We'd love to hear about them below in our comments section!

Decorated by my kids in "old school" style. Just dye and crayons!

At Easter and every day, we wish you Happy Parenting!

Books that Help Kids Deal with Anxiety

2012-04-07T16:11:00.001-04:00

Anxiety in children can range from mild to moderate to severe to almost disabling, in some cases. The good news is, there are some fabulous treatments for anxiety that include teaching kids coping skills and new cognitive and behavioral strategies that help them be what I call "large and in charge" of their feelings. It's very empowering, indeed, when a child (or an adult) is able to manage intense feelings.

Here is a list of some of our favorite resources to help kids manage anxiety (in no particular order). I have used the majority of them in my practice with kids and teens:

For Kids (Books, Storybooks and Workbooks):

BRAVE: Be Ready and Victory's Easy (One of our Kidlutions Preferred Product Award winning books! It's a not to be missed book! See why we like it here!)

Wilma Jean the Worry Machine

What to Do When You're Worried and Scared: A Guide for Kids

Mr. Worry: A Story About OCD

Is a Worry Worrying You?

Llama, Llama, Misses Mama! (Separation Anxiety)

Cat's Got Your Tongue? A Story for Children Afraid to Speak (Selective Mutism)

For Parents and Kids Together:

Worry Busters: Activities for Kids Who Worry Too Much!

What to Do When You Worry Too Much

The Worry Wars: An Anxiety Workbook for Kids and Their Helpful Adults

The Handbook for Helping Kids with Anxiety and Stress

Outsmart Your Worry Toolkit for Kids ages 5-11 (I LOVE using this with kids!)

Outsmart Your Worry Toolkit for Kids ages 12-18 (Great results for teens with this!)

Helping Children Cope with Change, Stress, Anxiety

Relaxation CDs:

Indigo Dreams: 3 CD Set (Help your child relax and get to sleep!)

Indigo Teen Dreams: 2 CD Set

Rainbows and Sunshine

Relaxation and Self-Regulation for Teens and Kids

Specific Concerns:

What to Do When Your Brain Gets Stuck: OCD (Love this whole series!)

Talking Back to OCD: For Parents and Kids/Adolescents

Take Control of OCD: The Ultimate Guide for Kids

What to Do When You Dread Your Bed: Sleep Issues

The Nigthmare Nibbler (Another one of our Kidlutions Preferred Product Winners!)

The Worry Woos (Another one of our Kidlutions Preferred Product Winners! Be sure to get the plush that goes with it!)

Emotional Intensity in Gifted Children: Helping Kids with Explosive Feelings

I Don't Want to Go to School: Separation Anxiety

There are many, many more great resources available. This list is just a start. What books, CDs, DVDs or other resouces do you adore? Please feel free to let us know in our "comments" section! We'd love to hear about it!

Fun with Anger Management for Kids

2012-04-05T22:51:00.001-04:00

Oxymorons

It seems like an oxymoron, doesn't it? Fun with anger managment for kids? But that's exactly what we had went one of my twitter BFF's and I met up (for the first time ever) in Grand Rapids, Michigan, for the Michigan Association for the Education of Young Children's Spring Conference.

Louise Sattler from Signing Families and I have been long-time facebook, twitter and coffee-drinking-early-morning-phone-connectors. It was high time that we meet in person. Louise is everything I thought she'd be and more. Sweet, petite and a powerhouse of information and energy. She's a firecracker! (We never did have a cup of coffee while we were together, so we'll have to definitely do so the next time we meet up!)

Beach Balls, Bubbles and Bugs (and MORE)

Our attendees learned creative interventions for angry children which included, beach balls, playdoh, bubbles, bugs, magic wands and more! Louise provided the grand finale regarding using ASL in the classroom to help prevent behavior problems. I had a hoot watching Louise do ASL in person. I've seen her do it on her award-winning videos, but if you ever get a chance to see her live, don't miss it. She doesn't disappoint! Ohmigosh...and the prizes that the audience was treated to! Phenomenal!

Teachers that Make a Difference

In our top picture, you'll see our attendees give us "applause" at the end of our session. This group of educators was top-notch and it was an honor to spend the afternoon with them! They learned how they can help change brains, and improve outcomes for kids at-risk due to problems with self-regulation!

It was a great day, indeed!

Louise and me prior to our workshop!

To book a speaker for topics relating to education, and almost everything else under the sun, be sure to check out 411Voices.com http://www.411Voices.com. The speaker's bureau covers a wide range of topics with seasoned experts on multiple topics.

To get your free copy of our signature Anger Toolbox for Kids introduction (including an MP3, printables and more, go here!

Books That Help Kids Deal with Anger

2012-03-25T10:33:00.003-04:00

Helping Kids Deal with Anger

This post is the first in a series of eight, that help kids cope with issues that can become problematic in their lives. We will add a new topic of healing books once a week. In our line-up, we'll include anxiety, divorce, grief and loss, sadness, cancer, self-control, and self-esteem.

Without further ado, here are our suggestions:

What to Do When Your Temper Flares

I'm So Angry I Could Scream: Helping Children Deal with Anger

Angry Octopus: An Anger Management Story

Seeing Red: An Anger Managment and Peacemaking Curriculum for Kids (Therapists or Parents)

Mad Isn't Bad: A Child's Book About Anger

How to Be Angry: An Assertive Anger Expression Group for Kids and Teens (Therapists or Parents)

A Volcano in My Tummy

Got An Angry Kid? Parenting Spike

Anger Management Games for Children (Therapists or Parents)

Josh's Smiley Faces: A Book About Anger

The Red Beast: Controlling Anger in Children with Asperger's Syndrome

Don't Rant and Rave on Wednesdays: The Children's Anger Control Book

Smart Parenting for Smarter Kids (A Kidlutions Preferred Product Award Winner!)

I Was So Mad

Moody Cow Meditates

See more anger management resources here.

Our Signature Product

Our Anger Management Toolbox for Kids is another resource that provides an introduction to our anger management system for kids. It's FREE and you can access our MP3 download, printables and more here.

This list is by no means exhaustive. There are tons of great resources out there! What books would you add to the list? Please feel free to add in our "comments" section!

As always, we wish you happy parenting!

You might also like:

Books That Help Kids Deal with Anxiety

Finding Joy: Parenting Bliss

2012-03-24T14:10:00.000-04:00

Download a copy here.

Finding Joy!

Parenting. The toughest job in the world. There is no question. Recently, Dr. Johnson-Quijada, MD, of FriendtoYourself.com shared a guest post with us, Parenting Begins with Me. She asked me to respond in kind. Of course, I jumped at the chance! The post had to do with putting your own oxygen mask on first. You can read Oxygen Masks and the Big Easy here.

When we ponder self-care, we recognize that part of that equation includes doing something every day that brings us joy. Yep! Every. Day.

No slackers allowed.

So, what is it that makes you sing? What makes you feel alive, content and satisfied?

Sometimes, You Have to Go Out of
Your Way to Find Happiness

When my kids were younger, it meant getting up at 5 a.m. (and trust me, I am not a morning person) to get some uninterrupted time to read! I can vizualize myself curled up on one corner of the couch, java in hand and soaking in the written word without anybody asking anything of me...for exactly one half hour. It was sheer nirvana. I remember it like it was yesterday.

Need some place to brainstorm and jot down some ideas of things that you need to do rejuvenate, relax and undwind?

I'm glad you asked! Simply print out "My Parenting Bliss List" and be on your way to a happier tomorrow. Grab your copy here.

Calming the Angry Child

2012-03-20T22:00:00.000-04:00

If you happen to be in the Grand Rapids, Michigan area for the Michigan Associaiton for the Education of Young Children's 2012 Conference, I hope you will drop by and see Louise Sattler, of Signing Families, and me. We will be presenting an engaging workshop about calming the angry child. Louise is one of my BFFs on twitter/facebook and 411 Voices, and we finally get to meet each other for this one-time only training! Laugh and learn in this unprecedented event!

It will be a workshop event unlike any other you have been part of!

If you are unable to join us, be sure to check out Kidlution's resources in our Anger Toolbox for Kids!

Articles that help kids deal with feelings:

When Children Scream and Yell

Little Kids, BIG Anger

Help! My Child is Being Aggressive

Challenging Child? One Simple Secret

5 Reasons Not to Minimize Your Child's Feelings

2012-03-19T21:20:00.002-04:00

"It's not so bad!" "You're fine!"

"Forget about it!" "Don't be so dramatic!"

How many times have you been tempted to say those things to your kids when they're upset, whiny or otherwise expressing an uncomfortable or strong feeling? Maybe you've already said them, or still say them now. Most of us have. Let's face it, sometimes we get annoyed beyond belief by the behaviors of our little ones. Recognizing this, and understanding why it might be happening can be helpful.

But helping our kids learn how to identify and manage those uncomfortable or strong feelings is just as important of a parental responsibility as teaching our kids how to cross the road safely. When we minimize our child's feelings, it leaves our child to his own devices to try to figure out how to manage those feelings. Sometimes, the way he or she manages them may not be the most advantageous. Hitting, pushing, foot stomping, slamming things, breaking things. We can all think of adults who may still engage in these behaviors when faced with strong emotions.

Here are five reasons NOT to minimize your child's feelings:

1. It sends the message: Don't TRUST your feelings.

He feels one way, but you tell him the feeling isn't really what he thinks it is. In the eyes of the child, you know everything. He begins to doubt his own ability to identify the feeling. Being able to identify feelings is one of the first steps towards learning how to manage them, which is a major building block of social-emotional development.

2. It causes the child to become confused.

Your child may begin to wonder what he is feeling, if you're telling him he's really okay, when he is actually feeling pretty rotten. This can be very confusing for a child.

3. It leads the child to believe that his feelings are misleading and inaccurate.

If your child gets the idea that he's way off-base identifying his own feelings, he may stop trying. He may "freeze" his feelings and stuff them down, but they are bound to come out in some behavioral manner.

4. It creates the belief for your child that his feelings are not acceptable.

Since he is being told that "it's not that big of a deal" or he needs to "get over it", he may get the impression (whether you verbalize it or not), that his feelings are just not okay. My mind wanders to the numerous adults with whom I've worked who have tried, unsuccessfully, to continue to drown out their true feelings with substances or behaviors that are self-destructive. Often, these folks have said, "I just can't handle the anger, the sadness, the stress. This (alcohol, food, shopping) is the only thing that makes me feel good." Many of these adults were never taught how to successfully handle strong emotions.''

5. It robs your child of learning alternatives to handling BIG emotions.

Big emotions are tough for kids. They don't possess the life skills or the benefit of experience to handle these topsy-turvy feelings. They look to you to teach them how to manage the feelings, so they can get on with their day.

For our free resource to help kids deal with feelings, download our workbook, Fun with Feelings: Emotions Matter. Find us on facebook, twitter or Pinterest. If your child has BIG anger issues, download our Anger Toolbox For Kids (free MP3 and handouts).

Congenital Heart Defects {Near and Dear to My Heart}

2012-03-02T21:56:00.000-05:00

The Lucky Ones

Twelve years ago today, my third child was born. It was as exciting and magical the third time around as it was the first and second. Most of you already know that I'm a mom of three. What you may not know is that my youngest child has a Congenital Heart Defect (CHD). I write this post with his blessings.

We were the lucky ones. Lucky because we found out about his CHD just hours after his birth. This meant that we had the power to monitor his condition, see the best specialists and help him grow into the awesome, smart, compassionate, intelligent and funny young man that he is. He plays hockey, baseball, soccer, football and more. Lucky, yes we are.

Cora's Story

Unfortunately, not everyone has a great outcome. Some parents leave the hospital without a clue that that their baby has a heart problem. Sometimes, they are told by the coroner. Such was the case for my friend, Kristine, whom I met through social media. Her precious baby girl, Cora, graced her mommy and daddy's life for five days. Her undiagnosed CHD took her life. If certain newborn testing had taken place, Cora's story could have had a much happier ending.

Following is a guest post by Kristine Brite McCormick, Cora's mom:

Congenital Heart Defects: The Facts

About one in one hundred babies are born a congenital heart defect. The number doesn’t sound that large until you think about it some more. Think about your graduating class, mine had just over 200 people meaning statistically two had a heart defect. What about your dorm in college? Mine was gigantic. I’ll conservatively say it housed 500 people—five of them statistically had a heart problem they were born with.

Congenital heart defects vary in type and intensity. Even the same heart defect looks quite different in different people. I’ve heard a snowflake analogy used to describe the defects—each broken heart is like a snowflake, completely unique but similar to others.

My daughter’s heart was one of those unique hearts, but we didn’t know that until she was already dead. I was breastfeeding her early one morning when her little heart stopped. It was sudden and unexpected. We learned from the coroner that she had a congenital heart defect.

If you’re pregnant, you should be aware so you know to ask the ultrasound technician to make sure your baby has all four chambers and that the heart looks normal. You should also ask your pediatrician about a new recommendation from the American Academy of Pediatrics that says that every baby should be screened for heart defects at one day of life with pulse oximetry.

If you’re a mom, you should be aware so that you can watch your infant and child for signs of an undetected heart defect—such as tiring easily, turning blue or having trouble feeding. You should also ask about AEDs at your child’s school—especially if he or she is going to play sports. Yep, about half of the athletes that die suddenly on the field have an undiagnosed congenital heart defect.

If you’re not a mom or a caregiver, you should be aware so you can support those dealing with CHD in your community. Some of the patients have long hospitals stays, several surgeries and need lots of supports. Others never need surgery, but could certainly benefit from your understanding.

Awareness matters because it brings action.

Action brings change.

Maybe one day, if we all work together no mother will find out from the coroner her baby had a broken heart.

Better yet, maybe if we stand up and demand more research and funding, maybe one day no baby will be born with a broken heart.

If you’d like to learn more about Cora or Pulse Ox Screening, visit my websites at http://www.corasstory.org or http://www.pulseoxadvocacy.com.

Read Kristine's latest post: A Letter to Cora's Grandma, From Cora

Abused Kids: How Teachers Can Help

2012-02-29T21:21:00.000-05:00

Scars that Last a Lifetime

Child abuse can result in physical scars that last a lifetime. Broken bones heal much quicker than broken spirits, as the abuse is encoded at the cellular level. The heart just seems to have a memory system of its own. Having borne witness to the stories of countless abused children, I am struck not only by their pain, but also by their resilience.

Healing Takes Place in the Context of Relationships

Emotional healing takes place in the context of relationships, and when trust is an issue, you can imagine how challenging this can become. As I've worked with kids who've shared their stories, I've always asked what got them through the worst of times. Not surprisingly, their answers have been, "My teacher cared about me!"

It was Nothing Special

Sometimes it might be a teacher that a student mentions, while other times, it may have been a school janitor, bus driver or cook, but it has always been an adult who was consistent in their care and concern for the child. Funny thing is, sometimes these adults have said, "I didn't do anything special." And that's just the point. "Nothing special" to you may mean a world of difference to a child.

Just Notice

Simply noticing a child exists, taking an interest in her life, following up with questions that show you have listened well may be all it takes to forever change the trajectory of a child's life. For children whose basic needs for affiliation, love and nurturing are not met, doing "nothing special" from your perspective is beyond extraordinary from the child's perspective.

You Can Make a Difference

Recently, a study has shown how much of a difference teachers (and dare I say, other caring adults) actually can make when it comes to the lives of abused children. In fact, a teacher's support is a critical factor in determining an abused child's academic success. While a child's ability to find success is also dependent upon the type of abuse and the length of time it lasted, the study also showed:

"...the abused children who had their teachers' help managing everyday skills -- controlling their emotions, paying attention to detail and finding the inspiration to stay motivated -- had the most success academically.

The key to a successful response to an unprecedented life event is to control what you can. Children who can translate that skill into the classroom can have an advantage over others who cannot," said Whitney. Teachers are the gatekeepers to reporting abuse, getting kids the help they need and then providing crucial support in helping those kids overcome their past."

That is great news for kids recovering from an abusive history.

Other Things to Bear in Mind

1. Hypervigilance - Not only are an abused child's emotions at play (thinking about the abuse, experiencing flashbacks or other post-traumatic symptoms), but depending upon the length and the extent of the abuse, the child's brain may be literally re-wired to be hypervigilant. This means that instead of listening to what the teacher is saying in class, the child may instead be attending to the teacher's body language, facial expressions and intonation. The child may literally be "on guard" 24/7, even though there is no real threat present.

2. ADHD Imposter - Not surprisingly, about 90% of the kids that have been referred to me for abuse, also come with a diagnosis of ADHD. This is frequently a misdiagnosis, as these students really are experiencig hypervigilance. Think about how attuned you would be to learning if your brain were constantly searching the environment for a physical threat. Combat soldiers would not be expected to sit and learn algebraic equations and how to diagram sentences when they are trying to save their lives.

3. Attachment - Depending upon the age at which the abuse occurred, there may also be attachment issues, which can lead to many behavioral issues that the child uses to simultaneously push caring adults away, while at the same time drawing them closer (to apply consequences, punishment and the like). Try to see through the behavior, so that you can provide the nurturing and stability that the child desperately needs.

For further reading:

Music, Medication and Manners

2012-02-28T19:17:00.001-05:00

Just the other day, I was talkng to my 17-year-old about a certain CD we listened to when he was about four. Although he couldn't remember the exact tune, he remembered how it made him feel. Exuberant. Triumphant. Energized. He would gallop through the house with great gusto, working himself into a near frenetic state. He would want me to play it over and over again, until he exhausted himself (not an easy feat in those days)! I smile just picturing the scene in my head.

Music, Medication
Music changes our emotional states. It's undeniable. It's backed by research. Ask any teen how important music is and they will tell you, but you may have to motion to them to remove their earbuds or headphones first. Ask a researcher and they will tell you that music can take the place of medication, in some instances. It's amazing I know, but true, nevertheless. That's pretty powerful stuff. Melodies replacing pharmaceuticals? Oh, yes!

This was reaffirmed by a young teen I talked with in my office recently. He told me that uses music to help him get rid of anger, sadness and more...or to put himself in a good mood. Have you ever stood outside of a hockey or football locker-room prior to a game? Chances are you heard some pumped up music playing to get the adrenaline pumping. The teens and athletes probably don't care too much about what the research says, they just know how it makes them feel.

Music = Manners?
Music can convey life-stories and lessons in a way that is meaningful and memorable. Almost everything is easier to learn when tied to music. But can it be used to help kids become better people? You bet it can! Just like music can be used to teach math facts, spelling words and the like, it can also be used to teach kids better social-emotional skills. That translates into a better ability to manage interpersonal relationships, handle conflict and more. Yes, music can even help with manners!

Musical Resources

Here are some GREAT music resources that specifically help promote social-emotional development:

Name Your Tune CDs

The Music of Rachel Rambach

The Music of Cheryl Melody

The Music and Books of Ava Parnass

Article on MommyPerks.com

Take a Pill...or Just Listen to Some Music: The Magic of Music in Therapy and Life

What role does music play in your life? Do you jog or relax with an iPod or MP3? Do you use music with your kids? Do you notice it changing their moods? Do you use music to help teach your kids new skills? We'd love to hear about it!

8 Ways to Help Kids Cope with the Suicide of a Parent

2012-02-25T15:11:00.002-05:00

When a Parent Dies from Suicide

It's not something we want to even have to think about. Yet each year, thousands of children will become bereaved due to the suicide of a parent. I have worked with my fair share of children who have grappled with this very topic, who are grasping for answers when there seemingly are none. One thing is for certain, when we shroud a suicide in secrecy, and try to cover up the truth about the parent's death, we can prolong and intensify a child's grief, not make the road easier, as the hope may be.

The Truth is Always Best

Clearly, when a suicide is completed, especially the suicide of a parent, our natural response is to protect and try to buffer the harsh blow of that reality. That comes from a place of caring in our hearts. The reality is, however, that when we try to couch the facts of the death in euphemisms and "cover ups", we complicate the grief of the child. As with any other kind of death, the truth is always the best.

7 Ways to Help Kids Cope with the Suicide of a Parent

1. Tell the Truth: Tell the truth in an age-appropriate manner.

2. Details: You do not have to go into every detail. Keep things simple.

3. Explain: Explain suicide by first explaining death: Death means the body has stopped working. When someone has suicided, it means they made their body stop working.

4. An Illness You Cannot See: When somebody makes their body stop working, they have a kind of illness in their brain that you cannot see. They did not know that they could get help, or they were too sick to get help. If we knew how sick dad/mom was we would have done whatever we could have to help keep him/her alive.

5. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. There is nothing you or anyone else could have done to cause the suicide. It is nobody's fault. (Remind the child of this from time to time. The younger the child, the more important it is to remind them.)

6. You Were Loved: Your mom/dad loved you very much. Her/his illness was part of the reason she/he died.

7. We Will Always Remember: We will keep the memory of mom/dad alive. We might cry lots, and that is okay. We can also laugh about some of our funny times together. We will get through this together.

8. You Will Be Cared For: There are lots of people who love you and are here for you. I (the surviving parent) will be here for you and still love and take care of you. I do everything I can to make sure I will be here for a long, long time. It is also important to remind the child of all of the other realatives and friends in their life. When one parent dies, the child may often think about losing the other parent and worry about what will happen to them. It is important to acknowledge this and assure your child that he will always be cared for.

In Suicide's Wake: Books that Help

After a Parent's Suicide: Helping Children Heal

Click on Image

But I Didn't Say Goodbye

Click on Image

Workbooks for Grieving Children

After a Suicide: A Workbook for Grieving Kids

Click on Image

Our very own workbook: How Long Does the Sad Last?

Click on Image

Fostering Kindness through Feathered Friends

2012-02-20T20:48:00.001-05:00

Kindness Counts

Teaching our kids to be kind and care for all living creatures is part of helping our kids develop social-emotional skills that will last them a lifetime. You can make a whole host of tasty treats for our feathered friends. Below you will find some delish delights that winged-creatures will adore! When you're done, you and your child can sit back and watch in wonder!

Here's an awesome how-to by Jessie at Play Create Explore:

Click for Jessie's How-To Directions

Here's another take. A lovely heart-shaped cereal-based bird feeder that is simply adorable. Fashioned by Stephanie Lynn at Under the Table and Dreaming:

Click for Stephanie Lynne's How-To Directions

And one more upbeat creation by Erin and Joi at HECK FRIDAYS:

Click here for Erin and Joi's How-To Directions

More Ideas:

Short on time? Did you know that birds also enjoy peanuts in the shell or thick slices of orange hung from the tree? You can also string up rice cakes and hang them! Yep! You can find out more here, from the good folks at Wild Birds Unlimted:

Wild Birds Unlimited: recipes
http://www.wbu.com/education/brochures/DecorateATree.pdf

What Your Kids Will Learn:

Responsibility

Nurturing

Compassion

Extend the Learning:

1. Take pictures of the birds feeding on your creations.

2. Ask your child to draw pictures of the birds that "visit".

3. With older children, try to identify the birds.

As always, happy parenting!

The Cure for Your Parenting Woes

2012-02-20T16:57:00.001-05:00

Click to Download

Having One of "Those Days" in Parenting?

Did you ever have one of "those days" in parenting? The kind of days where you felt dejected and downtrodden. You've tucked the kids in bed and maybe sit down and have a good cry? Maybe you've been dealing with some really challenging behaviors, and everything that the "experts" have written in the books have done nothing to help you with your situation at home? Maybe you raised your voice or stomped out of a room or had some other form of an adult temper tantrum of your own.

You are Not Alone

Well, guess what? Almost everyone who bears the title "parent" will at one time or another have one of "those" kinds of days. You are in good company. While you may feel all alone, you can rest assured that someone, somewhere is feeling the same way. Doesn't that make it feel just a little better?

Wiping the Slate Clean

Want to know the best news of all? You can wipe the slate clean. Today was today and tomorrow brings new hope. There is absolutely no sense in beating yourself up emotionally with what you could/should have done better. Try to do it better the next day. When you and the kiddos wake up tomorrow, you all get to start over again. If that doesn't feel good, I don't know what does.

Today is the First Day of the Rest of Your Life

To remind you of this, there's a printable to put on your fridge, on your bathroom mirror, taped to your ceiling; wherever you will see it to remind yourself that can do it all differently from this point forward. And don't forget, the kids get to start fresh, too. Your kids are counting on you to help turn it all around.

It's quite reassuring, when you think of it!

Oh, and if black and white is not your thing, here are two other versions of the printable:

Click to Download

As always, happy parenting!