Take the Girl

Danger in suburbia

2012-10-04T08:32:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I found out from my neighbor that a convicted sexual offender had moved in just up the road. He was convicted of sexual assault on a 13 year old girl.

He happens to live very close to where my 6th grader catches the bus in the morning.

Of course it sent chills down my spine and the proximity freaked me out.

Once I had taken a deep breath I realized a couple of things:

Suburbia is like any other place, you find all kinds of people here living side by side.

In the city we were probably surrounded by convicted criminals and we just didn't know about it.

At least here, I know that we live in a community where we look out for each other, especially our kids. I can't tell you how quickly my friend's email went viral around our neighborhood.

So this man is living down the street, close to potential targets but he is surrounded by vigilant, caring parents who will now be even more vigilant.

One last thought, people who are considering a move to the burbs because it's safer, should really think that through. It just like everywhere else.

Soccer Coach

2012-09-16T07:48:00.001-04:00

Since I was going to be at all of my daughter's soccer games I decided to take the soccer mom thing to the next logical step and be a coach.

I got the background check, I did the online training and then patiently waited to see who my co-coach would be. The one that would make coaching 10 kindergarteners fun !

Three days before the season begins an e-mail from the soccer commissioner finally arrives. In it I found out that I'm coaching with two other dads.

"What!!! I'm coaching with two other guys?!" I say to my husband.

This threw me off the whole ideal that I was going to have a fun girlfriend and together we would be great models for our girls. It also set me off on a "hear us roar" soliloquy...

"If these guys think that I'm going to pick up the team t-shirts, get the team list out to the parents, send out reminder emails and organize snack while they sit back and pretend to coach the kids, they are dead wrong!" I say to my husband who at this point just knows it's better to nod and say nothing!

"And by the way I am not sending that first email to my co-coaches, I'm not doing any organizing!"

Five hours later.

I get this really sweet email from co-coach 1 saying that he'll read over all of the league information and send an email to the team parents. Co-coach 2 sends an email saying that he's picked up the team ball and would love to share some ideas on how we can co-coach over a BBQ at his house! Co-coach 2 changed his business trip so he could be at his daughter's first soccer practice and this weekend brought his co-coaches soccer whistles! They've turned out to be fun, chill and great partners!

What can I say? We city girls have a lot of pre-conceived notions about soccer in suburbia. Some of them are true (you'll be hearing about them I'm sure in the coming weeks) but sometimes you get a nice surprise!

Note to self

2012-09-10T08:24:00.001-04:00

This Monday morning was a little bit more rushed than usual.
But I managed to make everyone lunch, morning snack and breakfast. Remembered Theo's library book and Bella's PTA note. I remembered to give school supplies for the kids' class. Most importantly I remembered it was picture day so I made sure Theo wore a clean shirt and braided Bella's hair. I felt pretty good about doing all of that in an hour.

In the middle of this whirlwind, my 6th grader was having a hard time getting up this morning so I sweetly offered to drive him to school, half way across town. You can't be late in middle school or you get a detention! So we hop in the car, make our way through the traffic and make it to the front of the school with 2 minutes to spare. I'm feeling so good that we've made it when I look down and realize that I'm wearing my pink pajama bottoms and a bright pink flimsy tank top and that Gabriel needs me to get out of the car and open the door for him. Of course behind me is a line of cars waiting and with parents watching me get out of the car. I forget to unlock the back door so I have to go around the car twice, totally exposed. And it gets worse I look up to see the new Middle School principal standing in front of the school watching me!

Ok I guess 6th grade isn't socially embarrassing enough I had to go ahead and make it just a little bit more awkward!!!!! ( At least I turned down the dance music before we got in front of the school)

Note to self: Remember to change out of your pj's at all times. Don't assume that you won't have to get out of the car.

Note to self 2: Remember not to wear pink to the meet the principal at back to school night later this week, maybe he won't make the connection!

Here's the problem!

2012-08-30T16:10:00.002-04:00

On Tuesday a 15 year old cross country runner got hit by a minivan. Everyone had an opinion about it!

My take is that drivers in Westport think they are superheroes. Everyone here thinks they can drive a car, text, speak on the phone and yell at their kids in the back sit all at once and still get from point A to point B without hurting anyone!

Today I was behind a car that had a bumper sticker that really spoke to me. It read "Put the phone down and no one will go hurt."

I loved it and instantly wanted one for my car.

Two seconds later I saw the driver of the car not only look down at her phone to read a text, as she was pulling away, but she put on her glasses because she couldn't read the text, as she was driving.

There you have it in a nutshell, why none of us are safe on the roads of Westport.

Enjoy the silence!

2012-08-27T09:01:00.002-04:00

This morning at around 8:01am I thought I heard a collective sigh of relief in Westport.

I'm pretty sure that it came from all of the mothers who got their kids off to their first day of school!

Of course we'll miss those lazy summer days with our cherubs but let's be honest, having a few hours of silence will be nice won't it?

Be honest! It's nice to get a break! How are you going to spend your first day?

Soccer Mom

2012-08-21T18:50:00.000-04:00

For me and many other city girls there are two uber symbols of suburbia: the minivan and the soccer mom.

When I moved here three years ago, my husband rented a minivan for my trip from the city to our new house in Westport. I cried so hard and my reaction was so violent, that he promptly cancelled the reservation and got me an SUV instead. The minivan has never come up again. ( I know, I know it's the most practical vehicle for families, it's my personal mental limit)

Fast forward three years...I am a soccer mom.

How did this happen to a city girl you ask?

How did this happen to me I ask?

Well future suburban moms beware, it happens in a flash!

Here's how it happened to me.

Your kid is born into a Spanish family that lives and breathes soccer. In fact, his first uniform is given to him at birth.

He innocently plays soccer in the park with his dad.

He takes the cute pre-school soccer classes in Central Park.

He gets into Kindergarten and joins the local soccer league with all of his friends.

He plays a couple of years on the regular soccer league. One practice, one game a week. Not so bad.

Turns out the kid is pretty good and the talented kids try out for travel soccer. So of course you want the best for your kid, if he's good enough let him try out. (I was torn for the entire selection process! Hoping for him he'd get in, hoping for me that he'd be rejected!)

Oh no he makes the team! He gets his own number, a full uniform with his name on it, that's the sweet side. The downside, all of your sudden he has a pre-season clinic during summer break, two practices a week, two games a week one on Saturday and one on Sunday. A tournament during the nicest long weekend of the fall.

But hold on, it doesn't stope there. Your second son also likes to play soccer and the "baby girl", who is now entering Kindergarten wants to be in the game!

Here's the status: my kids are exercising, learning the ins and outs of being a good team member, making friends, gaining confidence and I have to drive them to a soccer event 6 days out of 7 every single week!

I am my worst nightmare, I am a soccer mom (tequila anyone?).

Make it stop!

2011-08-29T13:48:00.000-04:00

Tropical storm Irene has brought an early start for fall clean up.....which means it's the start of hours and hours of my most hated noise in suburbia the #@#$ leaf blower!

You know the folks out here love their lawns to look as though they lived in TV land so it's a sin to have one leaf lying on your lawn or around your flowers.

You know it's all about convenience out here so it's a minority of us who actually rake and put the leaves in a bag....and then while we work we have to listen to the incessant buzz of leaf blowers. Of course because the majority of people use them it means that when one stops another one begins and before you know it you've spent your entire weekend "in the country" listening to leaf blowers!

My neighbor's leaf blower started at 8:30 this morning and it's hasn't stopped since! (not an exactly efficient tool) I wish I could make it stop. But I can't so I'll just close the windows :(

Best Day in Suburbia

2011-08-26T07:06:00.000-04:00

Thanks to hubby, yesterday was my best day in Suburbia EVER!
I've always dreamed of driving a race car and yesterday that's just what I did! For my birthday hubby enrolled me an introduction to racing class and I got to drive a real race car, all by myself.
It was exhilarating, exciting, scary, challeng and the most fun I've had in CT. I can't thank hubby enough (and the kids who were awesome on the 4 hour drive).

"Mom, did you like your surprise?"

In heaven

"I can't believe this is actually happening!"

"Remember knees together if you spin out in a turn."

"I can reach the pedals. All good."

Yeap! I was the only city girl there :)

Sugar Coating

2011-08-22T12:54:00.000-04:00

Before I even had a chance to catch up and tell you how amazing and awesome our summer in Europe was and how depressed I am to be back, I've been pushed back into the suburban life.

It all started this morning when the kids next door ran down the street screaming we know who are teachers are for the year! It's posted! Have you checked?

Two seconds later I'm sitting in front of the screen trying to login into my parent account (needless to say my username and password have been erased from my memory!). And the results are in....

Son #2 gets assigned an awesome teacher who is a perfect fit for him, she loves science, he loves science.
Son #1 gets assigned a teacher with a reputation for screaming and putting down his students in front of the whole class...a horrible fit for my son who is super affected by screamers and needs a whole lot of positive encouragement in order to do his best.

My first reaction was to call hubby and share my concern and sadness. My second reaction was to call the principle and share my concerns. He had such a great year last year I just desperately want to ensure that Gabriel has another great year.
Third reaction...take a deep breath.
Final reaction...I refuse to be a crazy helicopter mom who sugar coats their child's life. The truth is that I can't always protect my kids from life's ups and downs. They have to learn how to deal with it on their own. I only know this teacher through second hand accounts, I can't project, I have to see for myself what our experience will be. I have to trust our school's decision because thus far we've had such a great experience. And worse case scenario I know my kid enough to know if he's really in trouble and then as always I'll be his strongest advocate.

Welcome back everybody!

Girlfriend Network

2011-06-16T16:18:00.000-04:00

If you move to the burbs, you're number one priority to should be to meet similar minded women. It's taken me a while but over the last two years I've become friends with some wonderful women who have similar family commitments, similar outlooks and values and who have become my indispensable girlfriend network.

When life throws you a curve ball it's so much easier to handle when you have a network.
A couple of weeks ago both my kids got sick with a contagious virus which of course declared itself at 8:00PM at night. The next morning at 8:30 both hubbie and I were expected at a school meeting we couldn't cancel. I texted a girlfriend, explained my situation. First she offered to take my two sick kids for the morning even though she has two of her own. I refused. Then she kindly called her babysitter and arranged for her to be at our house by 8:00AM the next morning! Life saver.

Last night, son #1 announced that he had his end of year presentation today at 2:30. Of course super girl has to be somewhere completely different from 2-3PM. Again I was able to make last minute arrangements with a girlfriend so that I can literally be in two places at once this afternoon.

I'm so grateful for my network!

Never say never!

2011-06-14T15:51:00.000-04:00

The feedback from my last post was unanimous! Do it yourself city girl.
My next door friend and neighbor (who is an uber do-it-yourselfer, no project frightens her!) gave me lots of encouragement and even offered to help! My dad, who is also Mr. fix it, said the same thing. The competitive New Yorker in me said "watch me I can do this!."

So instead of paying a stranger a $1000 bucks I've decided to do it myself. I started this afternoon with the bathroom tile floor. I cleaned the whole floor with, vinegar, baking soda and a toothbrush! No denying that I felt like Cinderella and my hand is a big fat cramp, but it looks good and it was "free." I hope I have it in me to do the other two bathroom floors. I'm thinking of enlisting the help of the kids for their bathroom floor, it seems only fair (or would it be considered child labor?)

I have to learn this lesson over and over, never say never!

Money in suburbia!

2011-06-13T15:12:00.001-04:00

Owning a house in suburbia is pushing me to two things I really hate to do: manage a budget and compromise. I've always hated both but I resent it even more now that it's for really mundane things like re-caulking the bathroom shower!

It seems to me that there is a limited amount of money ( the budget) and an endless list of house related expenses! I'm not complaining, we could be millionaires and this would still be true.

Do I really have to sit here and assess whether we should repaint the kitchen or have the garden mulched. Or whether we should splurge on an exterminator but then again the showers need to be caulked!

And let me tell you before you even suggest it, this city isn't going to learn how to caulk a shower. (what's the point, one day I'll have a building super who will do it for me again!) And truthfully, I'd rather be playing with my kids, cooking them a super meal or working with my coaching clients.

It is what it is but I don't like it!

Make it for me!

2011-06-03T08:00:00.002-04:00

Kale, Collard Green, Cucumber, Avocado, Garlic, Apple & Herbs

When you live in the city you have access to countless take-out options.
Out here it's a little more difficult to get someone else to make your meals.
Today I discovered a take out option if you're into healthy, clean foods.
The Stand in Norwalk, CT offers amazing veggie & fruit juices! Delicious sandwiches which are all filled with veggies and nuts.

The only inconvenience is that I can't walk there....which might be a good thing because it would fuel my addiction!

The Stand
31 Wall Street
Norwalk, CT
203. 956. 5670

Nice Wheels

2011-06-02T09:58:00.000-04:00

When I drop off the kids t school in the morning, there usually a long line of Toyota Siennas minivans, Honda Pilots, and Audi Q7s....but today the car just ahead of me really caught my eye. It was a beautiful, sleek, powerful looking silver, convertible sports car. My first thought was "just another middle aged man showing off".... but I was totally wrong.

At the wheel of that gorgeous car was a working, single mom who blew a daughter a kiss and drove off to work. The cherry on the cake is that this is an eco-friendly hybrid car!

How refreshing!

Bug off!

2011-06-01T08:06:00.004-04:00

After finding a tick on super girl's head I guess I'm a little more sensitive to creatures that inhabit the burbs. It has to be said I've never been an animal lover, my brother got all of the animal lover genes!

I'm sick and tired of the minute ants that are invading my kitchen (and completely ignoring the ant traps).
Annoying by the giant ants that have invaded the family room and are now making their way to our bedrooms (and who are completely immune to Raid).
Not amused that I found out the hard way that when a giant ant goes up your pants, it bites you!
I'm not finding the hedge hog that's hanging out in our back yard cute.
Finished with the hundreds of chipmunks that keep digging up my vegetable garden.
Not moved at all by the rabbits I see every time I leave the house all along the street.

Surrounded by all of these creature, I feel like I'm in the minority and I don't like it one bit!

Unfit suburban mom

2011-05-30T16:01:00.000-04:00

As I combed super girl's hair this morning, I felt a bump on her scalp.....one quick look and I knew it was a tick! I took a deep breath, called the local walk in clinic and off we went to get the parasite removed.

The doctor, who is a Lyme disease specialist takes a look and dryly says "this is probably been there for 48 hours....."

He removes the disgusting blood sucking invader and I meekly ask "so I'm more of a city kinda girl, and I don't know much about ticks in CT...what's the best thing to do to prevent the kids getting them?"

1. Do a tick check every single night, head to toe/
2. Don't let them play in grassy areas
3. Don't let them play in wooded areas
4. If they have to play outdoors they should be wearing long sleeves and long pants. Ideally white clothing
5. Their pant legs should be tucked into their socks
6. They should wear bug spray

Great I'm so glad we left the city for the great freedom of a backyard! Super Girl is now on a 2 week antibiotic treatment to make sure she doesn't get Lyme disease, I'm going to worry every time my kids are outdoors and I now have ONE more mothering task to add to my ever growing list. FABULOUS!

So much for the wide held belief that kids are much better off outside in the suburbs!

Perfect City Day

2011-05-22T17:17:00.000-04:00

Sometimes, I think that we enjoy what the city has to offer more now that we live on the outside than when we lived on the inside... Yesterday we treated ourselves to a perfect city day with the kids.

On foot we go! :)

Helped with an art installation

Enjoyed a Merce Cunningham performance

Pondered the big questions!

Took in some street art

Got a cool view from the dance studio

Strolled on the High Line

Sweet break at the Chelsea Market

Stopped in at a Keith Haring show. Theo studied him last year.

Took in the Picasso exhibit at the Gagosian Gallery.

Back home to Westport

ER Novice

2011-05-17T06:41:00.001-04:00

Going to the emergency is stressful. If it's for your kid it's even more so and if it's in the burbs and for your kid, it's really really stressful!

Sunday was son #1's tenth birthday (I'm still in shock!). Anyway, after a nice family birthday lunch hubby and I were leisurely walking back to our car while the three kids were running back to the car, playing tag. It was giggles and smiles the whole way....until we reached my car and my youngest, super-girl, age 3 ran, head first into the parking meter. And I mean pounded into to it! Within seconds a huge, purple egg formed on her forehead and it just kept on growing.

Stop everything, we need to take her to a doctor ....yes but who? The pediatrician is off-duty and 20 minutes away, the walk-in clinic is now closed, am I really going to call 911....that leaves us with the closest ER which we've never had to visit thus far. Ok but where is this hospital exactly?

All I can say is thank goodness for my GPS! I plugged in the address and 6 minutes later we were there. But once there I didn't know where to park the damn car. Thankfully I spotted a valet parking option and pulled right in!

I remember the good old days when we lived in the city and our pediatrician was always on call and more importantly where an emergency room was just a cab ride away and I didn't have to do any driving under the influence of emotional motherly stress! It's so stressful to worry about your crying, injured kid and pay attention to the road and the bad drivers as well.

Lesson here folks. Figure out early on, where your nearest, nicest, most kid-friendly emergency room is. And most importantly remember to take a deep breath before you get behind that wheel!

P.S. Super Girl has a nice big bruise on her forehead but no head injury.

P.S.S. The ER called this morning to follow-up and check in. Very impressive. I highly recommend the Norwalk ER.

New Wheels!

2011-05-14T17:00:00.000-04:00

Spring weather is here (well sort of) and that means that I'm more desperate than ever to leave the car behind! When the kids are in school I try and bike solo around as much as I can (and not get killed).

But I also wanted to bike with the kids as much as possible this summer. The dream is to bike to the beach, to the tennis courts and to the pool. The only problem is that I have 2 out of 3 kids who can ride their own bike, the third is still too little.

I took my dilemma to my friendly neighborhood bike store and the owner introduced me to the trailer bike.

I thank my lucky stars that I have "super-girl" for a daughter and she's taken to this contraption from the first ride!

Yippee! We're all on wheels for the summer.

Old Dog, New Tricks

2011-04-26T08:45:00.000-04:00

"City Girl doing Dead Hang to Inverted Rings, this morning at Crossfit"

Even in suburbia you can learn new tricks and push past your own limits!

Smile you're in the city!

2011-03-28T08:34:00.000-04:00

Saturday night Hubby and I headed to NYC for dinner with some good friends so I knew it was going to be a fun night. I started the evening by seeing this sign just as we got to the city and I just had to smile...
I love that NYC attitude!

Bullies in the Burbs

2011-03-26T07:37:00.000-04:00

Many of us make the decision to leave the city to offer our kids a "better" public school experience.
Our experience so far has been very positive so far. The class sizes are smaller, the range of special classes like Spanish and Technology are impressive, the individual support is amazing, but as this You Tube video shows there are some serious downsides to living in a wealthy, safe and entitled suburb. http://06880danwoog.com/2011/03/25/sticks-and-stones/?blogsub=confirming#subscribe-blog

As an adult, when you move to the burbs you have to fight the system to remain an individual. The majority of people have a very clear idea of what life out here should look like and if you don't conform you pay a price. You don't have as many friends, you don't get invited as much etc. There are definitely mommy clicks out here. Sadly this is also true for your kids. Of course bullying happens in the city. I'm not sure it's as severe though because in the city there are at least a few different molds you can fit into, out here it's pretty much one: good looking, sporty, wears designer clothes, big house and ready to conquer the world.

When you make the decision to leave the city for the burbs it's really important to consider the social aspect for the entire family not just the school system and the square footage. Ironically it's that aspect that will have the greatest impact on your life.

Global CT

2011-03-25T06:42:00.000-04:00

I often feel isolated from the rest of the world out here in suburbia.
I miss being part of the global soup that is New York City.
I long to travel to countries that provide a nice dose of culture shock.

Well yesterday, I was reminded that even though I live in CT, I am still part of the global picture.
That realization hit me at the gas station, when it cost me $70 to fill me tank instead of the $50 it used to two years ago!!!! Libya may be thousands of miles of away, but it's actually connected to my little town of Westport!

Don't Go Changing!

2011-03-08T14:33:00.000-05:00

Some of you may have wondered how living in the burbs has changed me over the last two years....
today I received confirmation that two of my key traits are intact.
1. I have no sense of direction what so ever. Hubby who's been at my side for 20 years can give you plenty of stories to back that up. Let me share my morning drive. I was rushing from Stamford to Westport which is a distance of about twenty miles. About 8 minutes into the drive it was clear that the road I was on, I95, was badly congested and not showing any signs of improvement. So I said to myself I think I know another way home....let me give it a try. Guess what happened? After following my "internal compass "AND the car GPS I not only made no progress, I actually went the wrong way and ended up BACK in Stamford!!!! Yeap! thought I was going North but I was totally heading South.

2. I can't stick to a budget! Now don't get me wrong it's not that I don't want to stick to a budget, it's just that as hard as I try something comes up! For example, I've been pretty good about sticking to a food budget...but today when I got to the check out at the grocery store I noticed (this is an important first step hubby) that my grocery bill was significantly higher than normal....so I paid and headed to the exit thinking I wonder what I bought that put me over?

I actually bothered to answer the question by looking at the receipt and discovered that I had paid $50 for fish for tonight's dinner!!!! Like I said no matter what I can't stick to a budget. I saw swordfish that looked good and bought it.... But I can swallow my pride...I went to customer service and returned the fish (hubby is thinking yeah!).

Still I walked out thinking, some things will never change!

No Matter Where

2011-02-23T15:07:00.001-05:00

No matter where I reside, whether in the city or the burbs, I am appalled by McDonald's. I am appalled by the way corporations in this country poison consumers, young and old, and have the nerve to label their junk with health claims!

Read New York Time columnist Mark Bittman's account of McDonald's latest "wholesome" offering and see what set me off!

http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/22/how-to-make-oatmeal-wrong/?partner=rss&emc=rss