I am today

Glory, Humility

2011-02-27T02:44:00.000-08:00

Glory to God,
His hand on my head.
I am blessed beyond my wisdom-
my folly He'd shown when I said "this is His, this is mine,"
Such a fool am I.

I am a fool,
Mercy, grace come upon me...
this is home,
this is humility.

I am yours God,
I come to you, in my desire to praise you...
you are my desire.
Glory to you.

'ɪləstr'eɪʃən

2010-01-09T02:28:00.000-08:00

¹ The silence of the empty room,
I gaze upon the dark abyss.
A breath lingers from my mouth,
the cold condenced vapors.

² Her eyes... an amber ocean,
the milky white contrast around this honest gaze.
I am vulnerable to them,
she has kissed me with those eyes.

Topics:

Silence
Her Eyes

Give Love

2010-01-09T01:50:00.000-08:00

I was pointed to 2nd Corinthians Chapter 8 recently. It talks about giving. Giving out of love, and having sincere love the outpouring of which is to give. Paul doesn't lay this as a command, but as an example of Christ.

I realize that I've given my life away, and my love away freely. To God, my family, friends, and strangers. I've given much, and I've been blessed much in my lifetime. I imagine how finite my love really is and I imagine how easy it is for my love to falter. In this I can only imagine of my love being wasted. I give from my heart, my time and my mind. There are times when I am thoroughly exhausted and I find myself cold.

One and Half of a Day

2009-05-22T16:11:00.000-07:00

I've been contemplating the necessity of adventure in one's life. How we're able to comprehend better what is going on in our life by being "outside" of it. The other day, I woke up, carried my bag into my car and drove off to work just like any other day. That day, I worked, like any other day. The beautiful glance outside the window made me realize more there's beauty to behold outside a room. I remember a pleasant glow in between the window blind which illuminated the room just dimly. I took a step outside to go to the bathroom, I took another trip outside for lunch, and took another step outside to depart to a friends house, to depart for adventure.

I got to Jared's house, expecting a long road ahead. He drove as the sun was setting. In a somewhat romantic sense, through both Los Angeles and Orange County's thick dampening smog. The smog that sucks such breaths that should mean so much more and the smog that blinds a longing to move forward. When we passed those county lines and saw the hillsides that would lead us north, where I imagined the clean air would be. Where the temperature was cool, and a breeze would cause me to breathe deeply and maybe fall into the wind. The sun had set and we were away. As I did with a couple of friends a month before... we escaped from Orange County. It was evening, we listened to music, we talked a few, we arrived in San Luis Obispo and stayed at a friend's house.

The following morning, arising from the couch sober and excited, we took to the road. We planned the day, we had breakfast with a friend in Paso Robles. We caught some fleas, then we headed to Berkeley. We arrived at Berkeley. I thought to myself about such an interesting place, with the hustle and bustle that was reminiscent of Los Angeles, crowded streets, and some senile men screaming "free will" and profanity. We were in Berkeley to meet with a friend who offered her place. After lunch, we parted ways and headed for San Francisco; the whole reason for this adventure, but not what continues to guide it. We arrived in "SF" around 6:00pm to see a band named "Kings of Leon." After their great performance, we headed to Oakland, arrived at Lokate's place; conversed in the evening, prepared where we were to sleep then took into a state of rest.

We woke up today, with an idea of home in mind, an idea of business, and just the state of life we are in. We're here in San Luis Obispo again, we've taken in such beautiful sights and such blissful reminders of existence along highway one, along the coast. This is the brief summary of my three days so far.

Extrapolate

2009-05-07T12:07:00.000-07:00

I’m tired of the unnecessary attachments of living. Having things. I’m tired of knowing I somehow depend on these things for satisfaction. I know my heart isn’t reliant upon these things, these days, it’s more and more difficult to discern whether or not I am defined by these things.

I imagine a self portrait of myself, in the variation of hues I can vividly remember; I’d use these things to identify who I am: a paintbrush, a pencil, a notebook, a bicycle, a computer, a collection of CDs scattered across the floor, books, a camera… I have many things associated with me, yet there is this detachment from them. I reek of the silent indulgence of satisfaction. I have no concern of things over their necessity in my living, but I indulge in them as tools I’ve used in my life.

There’s this large part of my mind that renders me as who I am. It may be a mere delusional self perception. I was naked in this portrait, there were no things laid around me, and yet there was a smile on that face and the left hand over where the heart should be. I don’t know yet if this is where I am, the case right now is that I am not, I just know that is where I want to be.

I am finite. My days have an end over this plane of existence. In this time, I want to know of sadness and despair; I want to know of pain and suffering in my life; I want to know of loneliness and the consequences of being one; I want to know of death and hell; I want to know of the difficulty and torment of living, the emotional heartbreak, frustration and anger. I scream these things out because I’ve been blessed with these things.

Then I raise my voice even more to shout for life; in these finite moments, I’ve come to know of joy, and intentional joy. I have come to know of love and the many forms of it and the misappropriation of them; I have come to know that I am blessed to never be alone and that the relationships I have with my brethren are building; I have come to know of life and what it is to live in truth and light; the mere glimpses I have of my past through the memories I remember, I’ve come to know many things and reason who I am now ultimately by the choice to place God before myself.

Right now, I’m just tired in being who I am.

{Coldness became apparent when I came to know heat.}

Narcissism in My Christian Thinking

2009-03-27T01:58:00.001-07:00

I have observed in many cases of my own nature lately, subjective only to myself, that in this state of "being" to exist and know of my existence and how I relate with the world around me in conjunction to who I am to God is apparently adherent to personal gain. Welcome, my friend, to my attempt at a logical dissertation of comprehending narcissism in the forms I've personally perceived of myself and identified. I have not written this with the intent to praise myself with the wisdom to know when I've become selfish. I have written this in order to shed light on a sin that withholds a mind from truth in light of God and to render the loss of self to be inherently the only way to God.

I am the youngest of four in my family. Being the youngest I was raised by both my parents and older siblings. I was rarely spoiled and raised culturally to not have a sense of entitlement for anything not earned. My parents in their moral upstanding to raise their children different from any child in our culture (my sisters, brother, and I grew up in the Philippines) had tried their best to place in our lives foundations for virtues relating to humility, kindness, patience, morality, and love. This influenced much of my ideals growing up and in cognition deciding whether or not I should receive or pursue something. In essence, I had culturally shifting ideals about virtues and the relevance of my actions toward or away from them. In conscience I can confidently say that my parents had shaped a well rounded moral foundation.

Recently, I have been in a state of growth in mind. Learning to logically express thoughts, concepts, ideas, and meaning. In this phase, a shift of interests had stirred a hunger for wisdom in areas of philosophy and psychology. The more important cases of motives, intent, and human behavioral patterns. I have been perceiving the world, I believe God had shaped and formed, as objectively as possible. Even with my interactions with people, it has become empirically measured relative to my understanding of subjective situations. Knowing in the absolute of general human nature of what is right or wrong and juxtaposing it with a Christian moral and scriptural view of right and wrong, I had been able to be objective to situations that were irrelevant to me or my growth.

I had realized a paradox in my growth. The selfishness of personal gain in pursuit of wisdom even toward God had become self praising and quite ironic. The intent was to find a way to logically justify my faith in God which manifested unintentionally into mindful self indulgence which further contradicted the original intent of the action. In ways I know I have brought glory to God, I've also misconstrued the motives for my learning. I noticed a shift from gaining knowledge for myself to discern how God is working in people's lives including my own, to be more weighted on gaining knowledge for myself as a priority. I had become narcissistic even with logical thinking bordering existential ideals mixed with Christian beliefs. I can now identify within myself where I have faltered in logic, for I have contradicted myself from the foundations of my own intent and morality.

I have come to a concise point in this dissertation to stop in most semantic thinking pertaining only to myself and concentrate intentionally on God's work in my mind. I can only further move in logic, to be uncompromising, to repose and only let growth be an opportunity when available out of my control. I will not digress, nor will I move forward with self perpetuating gain in epistemology, rather, move to the study of the Bible in order to further growth toward God. I submit in humility to God and know I had faltered, but I continue in the knowledge of God's persistent will which I constantly choose to ask for over my own, for I choose to pray for these things in petition to His will. Amen.

i = ? + (0 * 1 (h * m))

2009-03-12T03:24:00.000-07:00

I've been awake, to see the modern eyes of love's first eschew. This emotion of joy I could not fathom. I'm not familiar with this kind of joy, so I deny myself of it. I'm scared of it and to see any form of it, I push it away. I'm overflowing with a love that can easily be mistaken. I found myself loving easily. In my mind, these kinds of loves and joys do not seem right.

But my heart is steady. I am in toil of accepting grace, I feel that God's given my heart space to love so I can love as He commanded. The sound of my voice and the times when I find myself singing praises to my God hold such deep meaning to my heart. Even with this knowledge, I battle against my heart. I know it's been wrong before.

My mind could destroy my heart, along with it the loves and joys I feel. I've wanted to feel these ways for a long time. My prayers have been answered; now my life has become a contradiction.

Spending hours and days in observance, to be discerning on all accounts, being objective on every aspect of how my heart acts and reacts to many things.

I've logically deduced that either I'm wrong to everything, wrong to my heart, or wrong to mind. Rejecting these joys and loves may be denying God the satisfaction of giving me grace.

I am logically equivalent to uncertainty of null(being wrong or right) multiplied by the factor of my heart and mind.

i = ? + (0 * 1 (h * m))

Love is most verbose, transcends speech and sound. I will let God's grace abound and continue to keep watch over my heart.

Lord, help me to use this love according to your will.

Untitled

2009-03-04T04:42:00.000-08:00

I wait on love,
for my love is of the Lord,
as my heart is weary,
hence my soul becomes restless.

For my mind takes joy,
to know the Lord is great to provide,
as my mind is content,
my spirit is at peace.

Hold my heart Father,
you are my comforter.
I see in light the ways my heart falters,
I see in hope of You that it may persevere.

Mind: Blessed

2009-02-26T02:08:00.000-08:00

In every passing moment of events that have a favorable outcome, when do we decide whether or not it's of luck, or it's of blessing. If it's by chance or by grace? Of all things that God there has always been a sense in me that tells me that there is someone out there that cares for me. In a way a father or mother cares their children, so as to me, when things are in favor of me I feel the need to acknowledge that it was not of my doing, but of something else.

I was raised catholic for most of my life and knew of God in a sense that He resided in church. That we would come visit Him every week like my uncles and aunts, and that we prayed at home in a small altar with a cross, His mother Mary and maybe a depiction of Him, Jesus, as a little child. I wasn't taught at home about God, all I knew is that we prayed to Him. In a ritualized way, hail Mary's, and the Lord's prayer... so many times, vowels were connected and slang was almost reachable at this point where enunciating the words would just seem like too much work.

My parents sent me to a non-sectarian, Christian Chinese Private School, aptly named Philadelphia. Every now and again, I'd be in a bible study, engaging in concepts about a God that I never really understood. As I've come to know more and more about the character of this being, and how just He is in everything... luck, just started becoming more unlikely. (In addition, upon knowing the character of God more, there seemed to me a feeling of the glory of man to be utmost fleeting because we are ultimately humbled by God.)

So here I stood, in front of God. Stuck between the concept of the catholic dogma, and Christian thinking, I was confused. Eleven years old and not seeing God... He became a concept of the creator, so all things I should be thankful for are from Him. This included pain and suffering, which is just. (As heat cannot exist without the knowledge of cold, so we can't know love without suffering. Because we do not perceive loneliness without knowing what it means to not be lonely.)

I started giving thanks to a gracious God. Although I did not yet accept Him as my savior, I knew Him as the creator. All things became of Him, and of Him all things were a blessing. Luck, to me, became a word for people who believed more in a statistical fate than that of a creator.

Unintentional Tangent, Starve.

2009-02-20T02:06:00.000-08:00

I write this with the unintentional tangent of thought, which is often recluse and divided from more cognitive or apparent thinking. Unless we dwell within the uninteresting thoughts of citing the more obvious life observances, I'd rather render for you, my audience, a unequivocal misinterpretation of a humorous flatulence. A passing of gas from the brain... otherwise known as a "Brain Fart."

I had a thought about what it is to starve, in thought, emotion, inspiration, passion, and attention. How we comprehend this usually unintended action is to be hungry. Semantically, I would normally bind this with hunger, which would be the proper use. However, metaphorically, for my purpose, I'll use it to describe a more indiscriminate analogy for an idea that we all starve in our humanity.

Paradoxically, to starve, is to have a lack of food or sustenance, and without a source, we would not be able to produce energy. We're inherently selfish beings and, arguably, we start to starve the day we are born. Now herein lies my fart. As we starve for these less tangible ideas of thought, emotion, inspiration, passion, and attention we usually are unaware of the cause or origin of this chaotic void. We seek diligently to sufficiently satisfy our craving for these ideas.

If and when I'm hungry enough, everything is a delicacy and everything is delicious. Let's juxtapose that with our metaphoric starvation. If I am starving of passion, if there is something to be passionate about, do I diligently engage in using that "thing" (which is also an idea) as something to satisfy that hunger? In this argument with myself, to be objective and to both agree and disagree with both sides of my brain. The answer would be "yesno."

The more metaphoric idea of the previous sentences is that, in our minds, if we were to think of our mind as a physical body, it would have many stomachs. To fill one idea, does not necessarily mean we feed two stomachs. If you were to argue, however this is not a conversation from me to you, but from me to myself, that the mind is just one stomach; then why is it that when a certain idea is filled, the mind still craves for those other intangible ideas?

Okay, let's scrap all those ideas. Let's think about starving metaphorically, is like having five empty glasses on a table. Each of these glasses would be a taxonomy for our evolving organisms of ideas. Each glass is the same height and circumference, all glasses hold the same volume of water. If we had a pitcher of water, with a variable amount of fluid, there's always a question of, "will this pitcher be able to fill these five glasses?" To expand on this, what if we had four different juices, each of which was four delicious fruity flavors. Would we try to fill each glass with the same amount of water and juices and have all the fluids mix? This sounds somewhat appealing depending on your choice of beverages, but normally we wouldn't. So for each flavor there is a glass.

Wait... I just lost train of thought.

Point is, God should be the fluid that sustains us.

For a friend.

2009-01-13T00:04:00.000-08:00

I am here with you right now
you're the focus of my mind,
I can imagine the light surrounding your eyes.

If you can be a single tear
I would not wipe you from my face;
I can hear your kind voice,
it embraces me,
it bends wind to find me.

When I read your words,
I hear you whisper.
I'm lost in this sentimental gaze,
for heart is for those who truly love,
we've loved.

Over the fence

2009-01-12T23:25:00.000-08:00

In this night I've laid my head
across the grass
skin slid my face touched the cold blades
bent my back arched
neck, muscled tensed up
eyes closed.

It's only flesh,
I've fallen.
It's only flesh,
I've come to know.

Repose 1

2008-09-16T22:25:00.001-07:00

We should be against the wind running,
we should be living free as we are.
To fall into forever, and be as clean as pure as we know.

We could be sitting quietly in the dark,
and light shines on us.
In silence we'll have warmth,
in solace we'll forgive ourselves.

To find out that we'll be alright.

The Piano

2008-09-15T01:18:00.000-07:00

There was the sound of your voice,

echoed through the air

it whispered in my ear sweet lullabies.

Fingers lightly touching black and white keys,

they were cracked and old withered, fragile, vulnerable.

You played me a song and I sang with you.

I could sleep tonight,

but I'd rather hear your voice sing,

so I can be with you and you are here with me.

3rd Night Ride, Fail

2008-09-04T01:05:00.001-07:00

Tonight, we went on our third weekly Night Ride. We started out late for reasonable situations, we got further delayed for unforeseen circumstances. The first thing that happened was everyone not meeting up in a timely manner, which is definitely okay.

The second thing that had happened was bike trouble, the chain on the rear gear of one of our friend’s bikes ended up on the lowest gear and got stuck. I was able to fix it for her but we didn’t feel safe riding a distance and having it happen again. So she stayed behind and hung out elsewhere.

The third thing that happened was that my derailleur, did a similar malfunction as Emily’s bike. The chain got stuck between the frame and the high gear. Les was able to pull it out, I made sure that the chain was properly placed on the right gear again. After this, we were off.

The fourth thing that happened is Byron’s left crank arm (the stick that attaches to the pedal) came off. We halted and searched for the missing bolt. Les went the distance and searched far and wide, but to no avail… the bolt was not found. We waited for a bit and decided to call it. The night was over. Eleven O’ clock in the evening, right on time.

I’ve let go and accepted again that there are just some things you can never put your hands on.

Upon all these situations happening in one night, first thing I thought to myself was, “I think we should have prayed before we left.” Not that whatever happened, would not have happened. In the grand scheme of things everything was a blessing. If Emily felt confident to ride on the bike and got to where we were, it may have not been good for her. When she wasn’t able to make it, I thought to myself “God’s will.” My chain getting stuck, Les being there, able to help… overall, it was a good night. I’ve let go and accepted again that there are just some things you can never put your hands on. I hope you had a great night. Let’s ride again!

Goodbye August, Hello September

2008-09-03T07:42:00.001-07:00

I remember last year, how I was different from who I am now. Seasons pass and change, but we're always able to recognize their arrival. I feel that I've changed much within the past year, I feel that I've learned much from the situations that have happened in my life.

I can imagine myself last year, being so "broken hearted," I can remember last year being one of the best experiences in my life. Times I've spent alone to reflect and pray, the times I've spent with good friends and good company, the times where it was plain fun, and the times when I've done something stupid. (Like drop my wheel into a ditch blocking a driveway and preventing over thirty people from getting home... it was a great night.)

Last year, around this time, I took time to pause. To see where my heart was and where it is. I've come to know that it's in Jesus. This is still something I wonder about; how I could love my God and never see Him. There are so many instances when I know that my hope in Him was the only thing that kept me from falling apart. I know for sure that He's around, I know for sure that He's taking care of me.

I spent time in peace at parks, to hear the rustle of the leaves. I spent time at the beach to hear the crash, fizzle and roars of the waves. I felt as if I needed to know who I was and who I wanted to be. I know who I am now, and I know who I want to be. Summer rolled around, then fall came and I knew that I had changed. There were leftovers of how I used to be, and I can remember how things affected me.

This year summer's almost passed, fall is here to come. I know my heart's ready, I know it's in the right place. I'm further waiting for many seasons of change.

Early Morning

2008-07-28T06:14:00.001-07:00

July.

I was restless and helpless. My body had rested to a point and my mind was relentlessly running it's processes. I deemed it a rampant departure from myself, to think about the people around me, of how they are at the moment. I have friends leaving soon to India, my prayers for them are of hope. I have friends going through their relationships, my prayers for them are of hope and patience. I have friends who don't know where they are... my prayers to them are to be found.

There was a sound in my mind, it knows of things I don't fully understand.

Good morning.

Care

2008-06-10T08:41:00.000-07:00

For the past 4 Months, I've been going to Long Beach California with a group called the CO- Project feeding the Homeless. It's really amazing to see what kinds of relationships that are being built there and what a hotdog, or a piece of pizza can do.

These are people who are down the streets and avenues we don't walk by. These are people who've had the hard life and are just surviving. Drugs and alcohol are like fruits; when enough money comes in, they are just ripe for the picking.

The large reason why we go is compassion.

Finding old words

2008-05-12T00:07:00.000-07:00

(Few words from 2005)

I realize that this evening is now,
tomorrow.
You are my nightingale,
the nocturnal sound
of your voice chases the night away.

Leave me to rest this night,
I have done something terrible,
I have done something right.
The words of this mouth communicate
a love that heeds to no distance or time
in your presence I am your's to finish.

Dirty nails grow on these hands
I wish roots would grow out of these nails,
then maybe spring would be complete.

Slumber in the light of the sun reflected by the moon
delight in it's distance, delight in it's might

Mind: 1 Vessels Part 1

2008-04-21T02:59:00.000-07:00

Lord, I pray that you will guide me in my words. I am inspired by the truth in my heart, Your spirit compels me.

My mind has been a vessel for thoughts, ideas and concepts; they move through the oceans of doubt, inadequacies, temptations, and selfishness in a constant flow. Vessels sink, in inadequacies, in doubt... but I pray to you Lord, for the strength and buoyancy to float through these.

I feel inadequate for God's work, yet my Lord still uses me; I feel inadequate for God's love, yet my Lord still loves me; I feel inadequate for God's compassion, yet my Lord still cares for me. His loving kindness fills me, His spirit moves me. In this I trust in the Lord, with my heart.

Yet when I trust in the Lord, I trust Him blindly at times. Where my concern is not that of my own self, but that of how it affects others. I question my intent, I question my love for myself. For how am I to love my neighbor, as I love myself? If not my love for them is not a love for my own. So I trust in the Lord, I pray to Him. A sovereign, great provider I know we have in Him. I pray for His will, and petition my own. I am comforted to know my God is impartial. I am comforted to know my God is just.

I do not know if I love myself. I have no fear in death. My mortality faces me everyday. I trust my Lord will deliver me. I trust that I will be with Him to glorify His name. I have no fear in death. I seek the truth, the word of my Lord. I seek that the fruit of His wisdom, not only in His word, and my testimony shall be a light to those who are needy. O' I love what He has done in my life. I love the spirit within me; I love this frail heart, and this stochastic mind. For my heart I've prayed for it to be as malleable as clay and my mind for it to be filled with discernment with His spirit. I love myself, I pray to be strong, loving, understanding, forgiving, and nonjudgmental. For my Lord has labored in love so that we may follow Him. I am healed by His faith and compassion.

I acknowledge that my heart is still fallible; my Lord has blessed me with heartache. I tell you my mind is scattered into a multitude of thoughts; my Lord has blessed me with questions. How is my Lord to form my heart if He does not knead it? How is my Lord to captivate my thoughts without setting a trap? The Lord works in mysterious ways... I still cannot fathom.

Comfort

2008-02-20T20:48:00.000-08:00

This bed, these sheets, these pillows, the ambient music playing, a desk lamp, my shirt, an 18 year old hoodie...

I've realized that I've taken comfort in many things that really don't mean anything to me. I realize this and I think to myself, "how vestigial are these things to me as chicken's wings." Sure the chicken has wings, it keeps it warm and balanced, however, it doesn't allow them to fly.

I know that I take comfort in these things because they make me feel comfortable. Nonetheless I know if you take away these things from me, I also know what it is to be uncomfortable. I don't seem to be wrapped up in my things. I could do without a computer for the longest time, even though I rely on it so much. I could do without fancy shirts or good music, or the desk lamp.

I find now that I have the most comfort in Jesus. When I pray there's a sense of closeness to him. I know I can trust him no matter the circumstance. I understand that he wouldn't let me live such a life without hope in my heart. There's also a manifestation of His love in flesh. The kind a friend can deliver, the kind that a mother can bear.

So I have friends who are of Christ, and it draws great comfort to my heart knowing that they move through Him. If someone asked me to show proof that God exists, I'd love to introduce them to my friends, there's nothing better than living proof. I'll find comfort in the fact that no matter how far away we get from ourselves, I'll always have those friends to point me back to Him.

Not now, just then.

2008-02-10T02:16:00.001-08:00

I've been busy in my mind.
I've been busy with my mind dealing with my heart.
There are many instances that I sense selfishness with my "wants."
I pray for God's will, that I know nothing of.
Stumbling blocks seem much more apparent now and flesh is suddenly so easy to deal with.
Caring for people I don't know, I feel strange that my heart would sink for them.
I feel compelled to take action to show people love.
I feel trapped in a sense of worthlessness of actions.
There are 4 people in my life that I have concern for that are in troubled times, I pray for them in every chance I get.
I have a good friends that I think about knowing their good hearts.
I met someone who I am afraid of.
I spoke with an old girlfriend of mine. My heart raced, I was scared. I pray that she's doing fine.
For the past 4 weeks I've been busy on the weekends.
I've danced to eighties music with very fun people.
I love my family dearly, I miss my sister.
I'm not happy, I have a sense of joy.
My dad's pug is irritating but endearing. My brother's chihuahua-terrier is always loved.
I am alone, however, not lonely- just a sense of void.
The park is an excellent place to take a nap.
Hearing the wind rustle the leaves makes me take a deep breath.
I've met broken hearts.
I've been wanting to apologize to uncertainty.
There's a way.
I have songs in my head I sing when they come forward.
Having faith in the Lord is comparable to being consumed with utter love.
Not knowing many things and knowing some things is a good thing.
Knowledge is fleeting (and as vestigial to an ostrich as it's wings, as it is to us at) many moments.
I want to know people who care.
I've seen pride hide through many faces.
There's a veneer for many sins.
Beauty is what God intended for our hearts, through His love.
Don't tell me what to do. Suggest that I do.
I'll be recluse and mistaken.
I am neither here nor there.
It's when you've drawn in your eyes the lapse of sincerity that I'll listen.
I'll have a hard time remembering your name but I'll remember a sense of you.
...

2008-01-30T22:51:00.000-08:00

There was a sound in my mind,
it never forgets.

There was a hand in my hand,
warm hand on my heart,
not to know how it started,
Lord let me forget.

Let the twilight die,
it's not romantic.

What was there, in this heart of mine,
it has changed; there was time, there was time.
I'll never love the same, I'll never love the same.

Let's not forget, who I am; who I am to God.
Who am I in my Lord, who the Lord is in me;
I'll fight and I'll cry, He'll always be with me.

Sleep, rest, hearts, dreams

2008-01-16T23:02:00.000-08:00

on the island,
of sand and dreams,
we'll be asleep,
awake in dreams

... our hearts will rest,
our minds will settle,
we'll be asleep,
awake in dreams.

2008-01-09T00:29:00.000-08:00

what it is to spread love,
love lost, love wished, love hoped, love longed for,
love despaired, love foolish, love kind,
love departed, love recluse, love promised, love seduced,
love manic, love madness, love panic, love sadness...

we'll be selfish with love, selfish without love.
our love, conditional, our love, irrational

Let love come from Him through you; let the love you have be true.
Giving grace, give God's grace.