My son is now 23 months and I am 7 months pregnant, much to many peoples horror and my delight (with the odd bout of when will it end), the breasts are still doing their job. I am still breastfeeding on demand and looking towards tandem feeding.

I do understand however, breastfeeding is not for everyone, and some people physically just can’t get it to work. These women should not be vilified by hospitals and the like.

I am just happy my itty bitty titties actually came to the party flat nipples and all!

My second son was a normal pregancy until, at 33 1/2 weeks we discovered that my fundus had shrunk 2 cm over a 2 week period. After a Non-Stress Test and High-level Ultrasound, we discovered that the amniotic fluid was almost gone, the cord wasn’t feeding him anymore (it had a backflow), and he was tiny. They did an emergency C-section within 45 minutes. He was born 2 lbs 10 oz. I started pumping right away, and saved up tons of colostrum for when he was ready for his first feeds. After a few days of ventilators, a shot of liquid surfactant for his lungs, etc. we started focusing on his food situation. From the beginning, his only source of food was sugar water through an IV, and he lost 10 oz, dropping to just 2 lbs. When he was ready, they introduced a gavage tube (naso-gastric) and started with 1 ml at a time of colostrum. After some setbacks and tummy troubles, we worked our way up to the point where we could take out the IV and just keep increasing the tube feeds, a little at a time. We also finally got to start practicing breastfeeding! At first we just let him suckle and explore, but once he started trying to actually eat at the breast, it was pretty obvious that we’d be needing the shield again. We could only breastfeed a couple times a day, because it wore him out a lot more, but at least I knew that all his bottles were my milk. For awhile they had to add HMF (Human Milk Fortifier) to his bottles, to bulk up on the particular nutrients that he needed extra of, and to add calories. We finally got to take him home at 5 weeks old, still weighing less than 4 lbs. At home, I just kept pumping, nursing, and gradually reducing our bottle usage, and within weeks, he was all breast. We also used the nipple shield till about 3 months, just like with my first. He’s still very happily nursing at 20 months old, and he’s still tiny (almost 19 lbs), but his growth curve is steady and normal… just way below the charts, since he hasn’t done a “catch up” growth spurt yet. But he’s thrived on my milk, and is developing wonderfully.

Going into breastfeeding with an “I WILL” attitude instead of “If it works” made a huge difference for me.  When my daughter Lily was born in November of 2002, the I WILL attitude was the only thing that kept me going.

First, I had a regular OB/GYN (with my second, I switched to a midwifery practice).  She never noticed that I had flat nipples,  let alone checking me specifically for them or asking me about my plans to breastfeed.  If I had known, I could have been wearing shells before I went into labor.  

I had a fairly uncomplicated birth and within 30 minutes I had Lily on the breast.  It didn’t feel “right” but I had no idea what “right” was.  By my second day in the hospital, I had a blister to the left of my nipple and my daughter seemed very hungry and very cranky.  The hospital lactation consultant came in, immediately noticed my flat nipple, and gave me a set of shields to wear while nursing.  

She neglected to mention that when using shields, you should also pump after the nursing because your milk production will drop if you don’t.  I went home and continued to nurse by using the shields but Lily was not gaining weight and wasn’t getting enough to eat, and my milk production was way down.  

A friend recommended an excellent lactation consultant and she single-handedly saved me.  First, she informed me that if you wear shields, you need to pump after on each breast to ensure your milk production stays up.  Second, she helped me figure out the best hold for my short-waisted, large-breasted body.  Thirdly, she realized that because Lily hadn’t been getting much milk out of me, I was going to have to retrain her how to latch on.  

I went home feeling like I had a chance.  Sleep-deprived and incredibly sore, I spent the next two weeks nursing every 2 ½ hours and pumping after for another 15-30 minutes.  This gave me about an hour between feedings to rest after getting everything else done. My husband was a trooper and  often stayed up with me at night just to give me support.  I remember sitting in Lily’s room bawling my eyes out because I was just so tired and so frustrated.  I wanted it to be easy. I wanted to zone out like some of the other mothers I saw at LLL meetings – blissed out breastfeeding, I called it.  I wanted what they had. Instead I had aching breasts, the sound of the pump literally made me break out in a cold sweat, and I was wondering when I would be able to sleep more than 2 hours at a stretch.  

After getting mastitis and nursing through that, I was truly ready to rip my hair out.  It was now three months since Lily had been born, and I was still having to wear shields and pump.  Lily just wouldn’t latch on without the shield.  My lactation consultant told me to keep at it, and I did, and magically around month 4 she learned, and so did I!  It took some wrangling with my nipple and her bottom lip and chin, but those first few times where she latched on without shields, drained my breast, and fell into what we affectionately called the “milk coma”, well – it was one of the most rewarding experiences of my life.  After natural childbirth, I felt like superwoman.  Overcoming my breastfeeding obstacles made me feel like I could conquer the world.  

The advice I always give to any woman about to become a breastfeeding mother is to commit to the idea of it.  Then I tell them to keep a lactation consultant’s number handy, and not to be afraid to call at the first sign of trouble.  I was lucky – another day without her help would have landed Lily in the doctor’s office, dehydrated and probably would have resulted in a formula-fed baby.

When my son was born it was a different story. He was also born early, but he was a bit stronger than my daughter. I pumped for him at first while he was in the hospital, but he didn’t dig the bottle at all.  He wanted the boob and he wanted it CONSTANTLY. He woke up every two hours for a year so that he could nurse. The more he nursed, the more milk I made which meant battling with plugged ducts and cracked nipples.  When my son was 14 months old my husband thought that for our sanity I should wean him. It was no fun at all. When I stopped giving my daughter breast milk all I had to do was put cows milk in the bottle, but with my son weaning meant taking me out of the picture. My son cried for me and I cried because I couldn’t be there with him. My husband had to step in and fill the void by calming him down everytime he woke up during the night. It took my son a month before he stopped waking up to nurse. Now he is two and every once in a while he will still ask to nurse. I don’t know if it was the right thing to wean him when I did, but I am glad that I had the experience of nursing him as well as giving expressed milk to his sister.

Just three short years later, my husband and I became pregnant with our first little boy, Ryan. He was born on November 10, 2005 via c-section, and he was the most beautiful little thing I had ever seen. The choice to breast feed was a no-brainer for us, and I began to nurse him just hours after I had left recovery. At Ryan’s 2 week appointment, he had lost a significant amount of weight, and until then it had never dawned on me that there might be a problem with the breast that had been operated on. We are not sure if it is damage to the areola or the milk ducts or both, but at that point I was given a pump to help stimulate my milk production and was instructed to start supplementing. That, for me, was heartbreaking. I struggled for months to try to keep up with Ryan, but I was fighting a losing battle. At one point, one breast could produce 6 ounces while the other, only 1 ounce. I think my story is truly inspiring because despite all of my frustrations, low supply issues, and struggles, I worked my butt off and nursed him for 2 years! 

On December 19, 2008 we welcomed out second little boy, Reid, in to the world! I will never forget my husband’s exact words as he was pulled out of my belly, “Oh Cindy, he’s beautiful.” This time things are a bit different. I know that I can do this and I think that, combined with my determination has made nursing Reid so much easier than it ever was with Ryan.

In the grand scheme of things, we have to laugh about it, as my husband jokes with me, “Don’t hold out on him, give him the “good” boob.” I am so proud of myself, and I think that if I can nurse my big boys with a “bum” boob, then anyone can!