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California’s Finest Gladiator: Malibu

2009-11-05T04:18:45Z

American Gladiators played an important role in most of our childhoods. We had it all figured out - if we didn’t make it in the NFL, we’d settle for competing against Nitro in the Eliminator.

One gladiator that will be remembered forever is Malibu. Unlike most gladiators, who won our hearts with brawn, swagger, and a sweet job, Malibu did it with the following clip:

With his surfer boy persona and Billy Blanks-trained Tae Bo skills, he quickly moved onto a film career. Like most meat-sticks-turned-actors, his roles never expanded beyond 1st bodyguard, waiter, Zeus, or muscle guy. When he did get his chance to star, this is what happened:

yes, I know he was on American Gladiators in 1989. deal with it.

Then & Now: Joseph Gordon-Levitt

2009-11-03T15:41:07Z

Once in awhile a TV show comes along that I dislike with such a passion, I am able to trick myself into forgetting it ever aired. Even if there are likable celebs starring in said shows, sometimes, I just can’t get past the content.

Example? “3rd Rock From The Sun“.

Didn’t get it. Didn’t care to get it.

In fairness, I only watched a few episodes in their entirety (each of which did so much shark jumping, I thought for sure it wouldn’t get picked up for a full season), but they all felt like mediocre SNL skits that just kept going and going and going.

Random aside: In the battle of who’s voice is most annoying, I’m not sure if French Stewart or Kristin Johnston would reign victorious.

Recently, I have seen bits & pieces of past shows while traveling abroad - it appears to be a favorite for airline in-flight entertainment. Anyway, on a recent flight I was reminded that my current crush, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, got his big break on this alleged “comedy”. Because I had blocked this show from my memory, I had forgotten that he was a part of it.

His sweet, earnest little face was clearly the best part of this show…at least in my humble opinion.

Joseph has gone on to become an Indie darling (and every hipster girl’s fantasydate) starring most recently in the buzz-worthy, “500 Days of Summer“, action flick”GI Joe Rise of the Cobra” (eek) and “Inception” (co-starring Leonardo DiCaprio - more hope for this one)…

While ladies across the world are squealing over Robert Pattinson (who - to be clear - deserves the squeals) and Shia Labeouf (this one I don’t get), might I suggest throwing a few crushes JGL’s way? I have a feeling his under the radar status won’t be lasting much longer…

FEEL IT FEEL IT

2009-10-29T15:04:01Z

A major omission from yesterday’s Rock ‘N’ Jock post was this unforgettable halftime performance from Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.

Awkward crowd dancing! Marky Mark strip show! Pant-less jogging!

thanks @seaniemic for the tip

MTV’s Rock ‘N’ Jock

2009-10-28T04:49:21Z

The 90s were the decade in which MTV began to edge away from its identity (music) and move towards becoming an all-encompassing pop culture behemoth. Rock ‘N’ Jock, which was an athlete + celebrity + musician orgy on a field/court, was one of the network’s most entertaining properties.

It would pit the most popular personalities of the time against each other in sports like softball, basketball, bowling, or flag football. Of course, they had to MTV-ize it by adding ridiculous rules to ensure no one really took the competition seriously.

Shockingly, there’s very little footage of these events chronicled online, but below are some highlights to bring back some memories.

Dan Cortese, Jon Stewart, and George Clooney before a Rock N Jock softball game

Silly David Justice shrinks to make Clooney feel like a big man

David Duchovy and a then-relevant Dean Cain

Clips from 1990’s Rock n Jock Softball, featuring Keanu Reeves, Kevin Costner, and Daryl Strawberry.

Flea takes the 3-point shootout crown

“Say Anything” - Or wait, you know what, please don’t.

2009-10-21T02:10:17Z

Who remembers YM Magazine?

Second only to Seventeen in the world of 90s tween girl periodicals, it was the thinner, cheaper, glossier magazine that featured the usual stories about fashion (grunge! body suits! flats with socks!), celebrities (Luke Perry! Edward Furlong! Alicia Silverstone!) and make up (Lip Smackers! Bonnie Bell! Clinique!).

While all of the above was throughly informative and entertaining, the cornerstone of YM’s success was deeply rooted in the “Say Anything” column. In it, girls from all over wrote in their most embarrassing moments - all of which involved at least one of the following:

-Tampons

-White Pants

-Braces

-7 minutes in heaven

If I had a dollar for every time I accidentally handed the guy who sat behind me a tampon instead of a pen, I’d have well, nothing. Because that never happens. Which is why - even as an impressionable 13-year-old -I suspected that the editors of YM had some fun making up these “blush-booster” moments.

Either way, it was the page I opened right up to so that my friends and I could squeal in horror at even the THOUGHT of getting our braces caught with our crush’s while playing 7 minutes in heaven.

Top 5 Boyband Career Comebacks (Based Solely On Their Photos)

2009-10-20T12:55:26Z

You can’t talk ’90s without boybands. And you can’t talk boybands without tragically misguided BOP/TigerBeat pictorials. Here are five boyband-ers who’ve come a long way from their questionable early starts.

5. Nick Lachey (98 Degrees)

Then: Braving the back alleyways of Ohio, shirtless.

Now: Classing it up with hot ladyfriend Vanessa Minnillo.

4. New Kids On The Block

Then: Styling by OshKosh B’gosh.

Now: We’re in a recording studio. Music iz hard.

3. Jesse McCartney (Dreamstreet)

Then: Crotch-grabbin’ gangsta on the beaches, yo.

Now: Making poor life decisions with Aubrey O’Day

2. Backstreet Boys

Then: Collectively depantsed.

Now: Less leg, more cashmere.

1. Justin Timberlake (‘N Sync)

Then: Hunky pool party — no girls allowed, y’all!

Now: Every girl and Lance Bass’s wet dream.

Steven Seagal’s Range Of Emotions

2009-10-18T23:50:10Z

90s martial arts badass Steven Seagal’s range of expressions and acting are detailed in the below chart and “best of” video. Chuck Norris may get all of the internet meme cred, but Seagal was just as heroic on land, air, and water.

This Week In The 90s: 10/18 - 10/24

2009-10-18T20:41:37Z

October 20, 1990: Cincinnati Reds sweet the Oakland A’s in the World Series
October 22, 1990: Jonathan Lipnicki of Jerry McGuire fame is born

10 Minutes Of 90s Memories

2009-10-13T03:30:19Z

If you played video games and watched after school TV in the 90s, this compilation will take you back:

Bring Back MC Skat Kat

2009-10-08T16:58:12Z

Seems like everybody is talking about Paula Abdul’s next gig these days. How can another season of Idol happen without Paula and Randy’s sparring, but may I remind you of another fun-loving couple that collaborated long before those two? MC Skat Kat ring a bell?

If not, I’m sure this video will refresh your memory.

Everyone knew and loved this cartoon cat meets pop princess dance number. But did you know that MC Skat Kat also enjoyed a bit of a solo career, following his collabo with Paula?

I absolutely taped the Skat Strut on VHS and watched it every day I came home from school. I will not tell you my age because it might incriminate me.

I also have to admit there was a time when I was Paula Abdul’s #1 fan. I had her branded Reebok “dance” shoes with the double shoe tongues. Oh Paula…such a paragon of cool 90s pops culture. Who would’ve thought we’d fast forward almost 20 years later and be watching you fall asleep in your Coca-Cola cup on American Idol?

Should we give MC Skat Kat a ring? Think it’s time for a comeback…