It’s Monday morning and I’m enjoying my coffee on an outdoor patio in a section of San Jose called Santana Row. It’s a wonderfully arranged collection of designer clothing stores and boutiques, and upscale restaurants. During weekend evenings it’s populated with all the “beautiful people” shopping in the stores, cruising in their BMW’s, and dinning on fine food.

 As you might expect it’s significantly quieter here this morning. Just the “regulars” are here. I noticed a garbage truck off in the distance emptying a dumpster chocked full of remnants from the weekend.

 As the clanging of metal reached my ears it got me to thinking about where the contents will eventually end up. Somewhere in the city is a expansive landscape of garbage, shaping into what must appear like some alien landscape.  A landscape comprised of material from all areas of the city. It includes contents from Santana Row as well as the garbage cans located in city park. You know the one. The one where all the homeless folks live?

 I’m guessing thou that you could scramble all over the mounds of garbage and even though it came from a diverse spectrum of origins, once it arrives here it all pretty much looks the same.

 And this brings me to my point.

 While cosmetically we have the tendency to look at the people who live in the $15,000 a month apartments here in Santana Row and the folks who live in the tents made from shopping carts and discarded clothing as very different people, in some respects they are. However at the same time there is a place in each one of them that is exactly the same. Each one has the same potential residing in them. Often the only difference between the two is the level of their awareness and the subsequent choices they made from that awareness.

 Sometimes we can look at others who are living their dream, or maybe even our dream, and think they are some how “different” than us. As I said in some respects they are, but at the same time they are exactly the same as us, and we are exactly the same as them.

 In many respects the only difference between us and them is the size of the vision and the choices made in alignment with that vision. As I sit here looking at the $15,000 lofts adorning the outdoor plaza where my coffee  spot sits I think to myself “Why can’t I embody the ability to rent a $15K a month apartment if I wish?” As soon as I ask the question the answer appears in my awareness.” “You can if you choose too, simply stretch your vision and the rest will take care of itself”.

 Hmmmm, maybe I should take some time this afternoon to go furniture shopping?

 The first time I heard this quote was from one of our Reiki students (we’ll call her Jane). She was probably about 60 years old and had just finished her Master’s certification. She had some pretty big dreams. Ones that she had not shared with anybody until the weekend of her workshop. She shared her dream to facilitate “healing excursions” for ladies. She wanted to take small groups of ladies to a resort where they would be marinated in ample amounts of mediation, relaxation, massage, and other spiritual and holistic events.

 She had no idea “how” it was going to happen, but it was her dream.

 One day, not long after the workshop, she appeared at my office and proudly displayed her brochures, business cards, and handed me a T-shirt with her company name emblazed on it. She had just completed her first spiritual excursion and was practically bursting with pride, gratitude and enthusiasm.

 We lost touch after that. Not for any specific reason, just the way it goes sometimes.

 The next time I heard her name was about two years later and the way it happened almost knocked me off my feet.

 A lady attended a meditation gathering we held and mentioned that a friend of hers has been exploring a “spiritual lifestyle” and she was amazed at how she had changed. She was so much happier and oozed enthusiasm for life. She was busy pursing her dreams and thoroughly enjoying the journey. She also shared her friend had recently passed away. As she continued to share more about her friend a realization hit me like a bolt of lightening. Her friend who passed away was Jane.

 Was I saddened by the news. Yes, but to be honest I was just as happy.

 Jane lived more in those last two years than she had in the past sixty. She started pursuing her dream at the “ripe old age of sixty” and lived them. Granted there was only two years but at least she lived them.

 How people do you who never did? Not even one day let alone two years?

 I’ll finish my story as I began.

 “I have no idea where I’m going but I know I’m heading in the right direction.”

 That was Jane’s motto. She told me that before any of her dreams had manifested in her physical experience.

 Before the location, before the t-shirts and business cards, before any travel plans had been made.

 Before any of the details, she chose a direction and started heading in it.

 I’m betting money each of you reading this has a dream. I’m also betting that many of you aren’t too sure, or maybe don’t have a clue, of how they will manifest.

 Neither did Jane, but she started walking towards it anyway and because of that she got to experience a whole lifetime of joy in twenty four short months.

 You don’t have to know the last step, just the next one.

 Take it…..

For me, the secret of life comes down to one simple question. How can I add value in this moment?

 Not how can I make the other person happy?

Not how can I ensure they don’t judge me?

Not how can I not make them mad?

Not how can I cause them to accept me?

Not how can I make them comfortable?

Not how can I make myself comfortable?

Not how can I please them?

 I know if I was reading this not all that long ago I may disagree but as I continue to grow and mature I realize that adding value in this moment is the absolute best way we can create an environment that the answers to all the questions I’ve listed, and an infinite number of others, is satiated.

 When we add value our focus is firmly placed upon ourselves. The responsible for how we package the value we’re offering is ours. What everyone and everything else in our present moment thinks about it, and does with it, is theirs. 

 Here’s the answer behind the value of the question. Releasing the need to abide by the principles embedded in the questions I’ve listed doesn’t for one second require, or allow, us to abandon compassion or the caring concern of other people and their feelings. In many ways it results in the exact opposite.

 As we continue to step into the realization that in this moment everyone and everything in it is another reflection of us we understand that, in a very literally sense, whatever we do to another we are doing to ourselves. The journey of discover and enlightenment is sometimes uncomfortable. Not that there’s anything wrong with, it’s all part of the process of creating better and better experiences and new and brighter horizons.

 Sometimes the most compassion act we can take is allowing someone to reside in their uncomfortableness. Maybe what we say will cause them to even be upset or “not like” us. Maybe they will think we are “weird” or strange. Sometimes not complying with another’s burdensome wishes will cause temporary unrest. But that is part of the process of living.

 When you lay down this evening to sleep, ask  yourself this question. Have I added value today? That indeed is the best question of all, both for yourself and everyone and everything you shared the day with.

Have you ever wondered why you compare yourself with others?

 We’ve all done it no matter how much we may say or think we don’t. Often we do it a lot more than we would like to admit.

 It makes sense really.

 From the moment we were born our parents did it. We would compare little Johnny to Suzie and comment on how one was talking so much better than the other. As we entered school we started using “hard” data to compare ourselves with the others. We took a great evolutionary step using numbers and scores as it was so much easier to compare “apples with apples”. If I received 80% on my exam and you only received 60% I was obviously better than you. As matter of I knew exactly how much better I was than you, in this case exactly 20 points.

 As we matured, leaving our educational adventure behind us and entering the workforce, we were gifted with a whole new set of measurement tools. Our weight, our bank account, our home address, the emblem on our vehicle, and the list goes.

 It makes sense really.

 How else can we accurately compare ourselves with our world around us unless we have some external, infallible measuring tools? How can we tell how good, or bad we are doing? How else can we identify our mistakes and our failings? How else can we decide once and for all who’s the best?

 How else can we compare “apples with apples”?

 After having said all that I now have to throw a rather large fly in the ointment.

 Even though we have developed an infinite number of tools to measure our value, and can evaluate not only our past performance but predict our futures, we have forgot one crucial thing.

 No matter how hard we try we cannot find anyone else who is exactly the same as us. Oh, we can align our external circumstances, dollar for dollar, pound for pound but we cannot find anyone else on the entire earth that is exactly the same as us.

 No one can do what you do better than you. You are here for a unique purpose. You have a very personal value to offer this world and no one else can offer it for you or better than you. Within that statement lay a wonderful freedom and a sobering truth.

 If no one else can perform the unique task you have been created for that means that if you don’t do it no body else will; or can.

 Gives a person cause to think for a bit doesn’t it?

 Rather that focusing and measuring our value and progress on the outside, how about choosing to accept the responsible offered to you on the inside. To be the absolutely best you can be. Not comparing it with anyone or anything because frankly you can’t.

 Let your desire for tomorrow to not be better than anyone or anything else but to simply be better than you were yesterday.

 It makes sense really.

 He was sharing a story of a conversation he had with one of his employees who, from his perspective, didn’t have the same “spark” that they used to. At a certain point he was inspired to ask her “What are the goals you are passionate about and working towards?” She responded that she didn’t have any and therein was the answer to Bob’s bigger question.

 Each one of us is hardwired  to grow, expand, and evolve. Creating goals and challenges, then climbing to their summit and reveling in the view. It’s what reminds us in profound visceral ways that we are alive. Your life is a wondrous roller coaster ride of chills and thrills. Marinated with heart stopping moments of fear that, as we walk through them, give way to the lusciousness of seeing the world in a whole new way.

 This is the walk of the hero….. your walk. For that is who you are. The hero and champion of the movie of your life. But it’s one that you must write for it won’t write itself for you.

 There is no greater torment than one who has no vision. No dream.  For within them lie the secret of life. It’s what causes us to feel alive not simply to live.

 I invite you to take a moment before you turn the page of this short note. Ask yourself the same question that Bob asked his employee. What are my goals and desires? What are those dreams that cause my heart to beat a bit faster and my blood to surge with passion.

  If that question causes you to pause and wonder it just may be time for you to get back in the game. 

Often we seem to be passionately enamored with looking back into the basket of our past mistakes, failures, could haves, would haves, and should haves. I think one of reasons we seem to be so effortless able to do this is we have been conditioned to look for what needs to be fixed or “what went wrong”. Somehow thinking the answers to our future lay in our past.

I’m not saying for one minute that there isn’t value in learning from our past however it’s been my experience that those who are busily creating their ever evolving  future rarely participate in looking backward. Not that they aren’t aware it’s there, or choose to live in self deception, it’s just that they’re so busy looking forward they forget to notice.

As I sip my coffee gazing off into the distance the Universe asks me a question. I have learnt through past experience that when he/she/they/it asks a question it’s usually a very good idea to listen as it’s often the precursor to a profound learning. I find I’m often immersed in an experience where I’m not spoon fed answers but given an opportunity to discover the nuggets of my learning for myself.

The question was quite  simply “Why are you doing this?”

At first glance it seems almost a mute point, especially if I look around me or think back to the amazing adventures my journey has taken me on.

It’s a question I’m very familiar with however I’m usually the one asking. At our workshops I give our students an opportunity to share  what has brought them to us. As you would expect the answers, while varying greatly, have a similar theme. Their path usual began with a question. A question that while the cosmetics of each one may be different the feeling that has resulted from contemplating it is the same. There was something inside them that drew them to our event. Some articulate with details, others have difficulty finding the best words to encapsulate it. They simply say “It felt like the right thing for me to do.”  or “When I came across your website I knew this was the one for me. It just felt “right.”

Now I was presented with the same opportunity. Why am I doing what I’m doing? Why have I chosen/created the life experiences I now consider “normal”.

At first the obvious presented itself. Travelling to see new and interesting places, enjoying the opportunity to meet and spend time with our students, no longer having a 9 to 5 job but living a life of consciously creating evolving experiences and stepping into the expansiveness of what can truly be.

However, even while I recited the answers there was a gentle unsettledness that hinted to me that while these answers were accurate, there was something deeper and more intimate.

The morning wore on as I sat with the question in my awareness. What had initially seemed so simple now perplexed me.

Why am I doing this?

I came across a small grove of palm trees gently swaying in the breeze that wafted across the harbour. The sun was warm and I settled down on the soft green grass leaning back against one of the trunks. I watched the steady stream of tourists enthusiastically pointing  and snapping photos while the locals knowingly greeted each other asking how their day was going and was business good.  I overheard a homeless man asking one of his street friends if they had seen Johnny that day. Overhead the cackling of sea gulls providing a comical musical accompaniment to the ones strutting around the dock feasting on scraps.

And then it happened. A “feeling” I have become very accustomed to and relish it each time it presents itself as though it was the first. A feeling, that like our students often express, cannot be adequately encapsulated with words.

As I gazed at everyone and everything around me I had the very real, visceral sensation and knowing that while on the physical level we have the appearance of separateness at another deeper more profound level we are all connected. Connected in a way that doesn’t know skin color or economic standing. Doesn’t know past transgressions, or future failures and victories. For that matter doesn’t different between the trees, the birds, the sky, the tourists or the homeless. There is no politics or religions. No saints or sinners.

As I looked around me all I saw was an infinite array of magnificent, unique creations of the one source from which everything flows. I felt a kinship with everything and everyone. As though each was my brother or sister.

It was as though the Universe reached down and dramatically pulled back the curtain of illusion, revealing reality for what it truly was.

Even now, when I read my description it seems woefully inadequate. Mostly because it is. We cannot use three dimensional, finite words to describe the infinite.

But we can feel it.  Each and everyone of us can feel it and while I preside at a wide variety of workshops and meditation gatherings my deepest desire is that I do my very best to create an environment where our participants may feel it too.

And in that moment, I remembered why I do what I do.

She was quite tall and slim and with surprising little effort took her place on the carpeted floor of the little room we were using for our weekly meditations. She had obviously spent many years on this planet, and while she required the use of a cane to walk, the shine in her eyes and vibrancy of her voice displayed spirit much younger than the number of birthdays she had seen come and go. A relationship quickly blossomed and as the days and months passed we shared our stories and she shared some of the gems of wisdom she had learned along her journey.  It’s amazing what we can learn if we only listen.

One day she told me she would be unable to attend the meditations for a period of time as she was going into the hospital for an operation. It was not a big deal for her. She was very matter of fact about it. She knew that at her age and medical condition there were inherent risks in the surgery but she was confident everything would work out just as it should. Her absence at our weekly gatherings a short time later told me she must have been called in for her surgery. I made a mental note to stop by and see her.

She smiled as I entered the hospital room and while getting out of bed was still quite painful she gripped my hand with a strength I had grown accustomed to. I sat beside her and we chatted. I held her hand and allowed the restorative energy of Reiki to flow through her body. One of the beauties of this ancient Japanese healing art is that it has it’s own intelligence; flowing to the areas in our body that need the most attention unencumbered by our own thoughts and desires.

I said my goodbyes and left walking down the main corridor of the hospital. My mind wandered to the people who I had shared their final moments on this earth in this very building. I passed the family rooms where we would set up camp and wait for the inevitable to come. I remembered the countless times I would take my turn sitting by the bedside of the guest of honor as they were silently prepared for a new phase in their journey. The scenes were often quite surreal and permeated with a deep sense of peace. Each time I looked in their faces I realized how little significance the type of car they drove or the house they lived in or the clothes they wore were. At this point in their lives none of that mattered. Time seemed to stand still and the hectic pace of their lives, and those who choose to be with them during this time, abruptly went on hold.

Little did I know that in the near future I would give farewell wishes to two more people in the same floor of that hospital. My Uncle passed away at the age of 65 years after a brief battle with cancer and a few months later my father said goodbye to his physical body entering into a new adventure. My faith had taught me that death was not the end but in many cases a new beginning. I knew that we would meet again when I would take the same journey as they. My mind briefly wandered to those who didn’t have this reassurance and I imagined how devastating times like this must be for them.

Time passed and I would often smile as memories of our conversations washed through my mind. One day I received a call from her requesting a treatment. She mentioned that she had been helping someone weed their garden and after crawling around amongst the flowers could use a “tune up”. As I greeted her to my office I noticed she seemed a bit more tired than usual.

She had come to say goodbye. She said she felt it was about time to leave. In all the treatments I’ve offered as a Reiki Master I have never had one more profound. Even in this moment of her life, and death, she was so very calm and matter of fact. With an impish smile she told me “It’s  my wish to one day wake up dead!” She was not afraid. Excited actually at what the next phase of her journey would be. With tears streaming down my face I gently rested my head on her shoulder saying our goodbyes without a word being spoken. It’s amazing how much we can learn if we only will listen to the heartbeat of another.

I don’t know when her day will come. I don’t know whether I will ever see her again. But I have a new understanding of death and a renewed appreciation of life. A new sense of hope that’s opened up an increased level of understanding and compassion that will permeate each treatment I give from this day forth. It seems that too often there’s a generally accepted belief that as our physical bodies age and whither that our usefulness diminishes proportionally. I can say with great assuredness that this is not true. During these times of our life and death we have the exceptional opportunity to share of ourselves with no trappings of self-consciousness, no need for pride, no worries about where our next paycheck will come from, and with a freedom that too often we spend all our lives trying to attain and never finding it. In this moment of their life, and death, they have everything to give. And nothing to loose. And we have everything to gain. If we will only listen.

There’s a well known saying that goes “Today is the first day of the rest of your life”. It is my heartfelt desire that I might live every day of my life as thou it is the last.

Where you are at is your responsibility but not your fault.

As you understand what that sentence really means it will open the doors to creating a world of your dreams like nothing else can. But how can one simple word make that much difference?

As soon as we use the word fault we have stepped into the world of judging. Judging is not a bad thing but it is a powerful one. When we judge something we are making a moral assessment of whether it is essentially good or bad. We have a wide vocabulary of words we may use when making a judgment but they still boil down to two basic camps of either good or bad.

When we judge something we are essentially sealing it in, like freezing it in time. Rendering it unchangeable. Until we release the need to judge, and the act of judging, we condemn an experience, a piece of our history, to be forever the same with no potential to change, or to be changed.

In short, when we judge something we do a very effective job of defining it to always be that which we have judged it to be.

Judgment is disempowering in that it has a very close cousin called Blame.

Blame requires a participant to which we can attach the blame. In most cases, it is the one we see in the mirror every day.

When you look in the mirror you believe you are seeing yourself. But you are not. You are seeing a representation of the past. Although it may be measured in milliseconds what you are experiencing is light waves that originated from you that take a period of time to travel to the mirror, reflect from the mirror, travel back to your eyes, after which the electrical signals are compiled inside your brain to create a picture that flashes across the screen of your consciousness. You are indeed looking into the past.

When we blame the source of the reflection (us) we are actually blaming the wrong culprit. The real culprit is the reflection in the mirror. Isn’t it interesting though how the mirror does not judge what it sees. It simply offers a glimpse into what was. So, if the real culprit does not blame us what right do we have to blame ourselves. Our reflection of our experience is simply that, a reflection. Neither good nor bad, just a reflection of what was.

When we understand this it allows us, if we choose, to release the judgment we chose to place upon ourselves and simply experience the reflection. If it is one we find pleasing we can use the information from it to re-create a similar experience. If it is unpleasant to us we can choose to create a different experience.

Who decides the experience? You do. It is your responsibility to change the information the source (you) transmits out to the mirror of your experience and, with mathematical certainty change the reflection.

Do you see the drastic difference between these two words? Do you see how one (blame) is very effective in sealing your fate while the other (responsibility) releases you to create?

Our external experience is not our fault; it is our responsibility and offers us the opportunity to choose something different.

I got to thinking about another word we often don’t like to talk about but is closely related to trust  – Sacrifice.

For me, sacrifice simply means making a choice.

I’m choosing to release, or let go of, something of value in exchange for something of greater value.

For purposes of clarity we’ll expand our equation to read like this. I’m exchanging existing value (value A) in exchange for something of greater value (value B)

In the past my understanding of sacrifice ended at the giving away something of value,  a concept held by many people. They focus on the letting go of value A but, for a variety of reasons which are topics for a different conversation, don’t take the next step of accepting value B. The concept and practice of sacrifice then becomes a perpetual act of taking an “ugly” stick and beating themselves over the head with it. It’s no wonder it’s a taboo topic if that’s how they are framing it.

Now that we have established the most accurate understanding of sacrifice let’s look at some common examples.

If we know what value B feels like (I.E. we’ve had the experience before) it’s often easier to release value A and embrace the greater good.

Sometimes we only have a conceptual understanding of value B. This often presents a challenge. We know what value A feels like and we like it! We’re taking a step of faith and trusting that value B is going to be all it’s cracked up to be. We often have the testimony of others verifiying it’s validity but we have not experienced it for ourselves. We place our “trust” in a concept.

As we mature in our spiritual walk I find the process often changes.

The Universe ( the phrase I use for the label God, Source, Higher Self, etc) often asks us to release value A and gives us no clue or taste of what value B is going to look and feel like.

We have no history of value B, we don’t even have a validated conceptual understanding of it. We have nothing.

Only a request from the Universe saying “Trust Me”.

Welcome to the maturing life path of spiritual growth and empowerment.

There will be many occasions when we are offered a choice. A choice to let go of something(s) of great value with no inkling of what lay ahead. Only a request and a promise. A request to let go and a promise that what lay ahead is the next wonderful discover in our journey.

The only way we can know what value B is, is to first release what we’re currently holding on to. It’s only then that we are embraced by the intoxicating luxury of the next step.

It can be, and often is, scary.

But I can most share with upmost sincerity. It always worth it. Every single time.