Iconoplex

Considerations for this place in the near future

2009-10-20T21:06:17Z

Those of you who have been with me for a while here at iconoplex towers, know a couple of things about me and my plans for developing something to appear at this site:

I have lots of plans
I never do them, or if I do, only for a while

Once again, I find myself yearning to do something a little more interesting than what I have done before here. I care about books, and politics and art and all that stuff. But then, so does everybody else. I like writing, but I don’t have time to do it justice. You can check in – if you care – with what I’m up to on a daily basis on Twitter or Facebook. What then, is the purpose of this site? In some ways, this has become a defunct, unnecessary sink of time and content.

A few things have started to inspire me a little though. Firstly, the functional/technological things that have got my mind wondering what might be possible:

Prezi allows for some really interesting narrative possibilities, rich with graphics. If done carefully, I could produce something far more interesting and rich with a tool like that, than I can with the linear nature of the blog
openFrameworks and Processing have inspired me since I first saw them. As a programmer, I can produce similar results without these toolkits, but like most iterative frameworks they allow me to do things faster
I’m almost addicted to some of the stuff I’m seeing at Flowing Data. The above tools allow for me to dabble in that area.
I’ve been doing a lot of reading into computer game design and theory. Mostly for work reasons (think iPhone app), but also for fun. I’ve also been dabbling with some ideas around Augmented Reality.

All very interesting, but they’re just technologies. I need to think about topic as well – none of this is interesting without content or a purpose. I’ve realised over the last few years there are certain things I’m particularly interested in:

The rather wide ranging areas of knowledge I just like thinking about. I love philosophy, art and culture, sure. But then I also like futuristic Japanese animation, Forteana and interesting ways to view the World. There are times I really wish I could produce something like BoingBoing even if it ended up more like NTK. Either way, I’d need more people to be involved.
I’m spending a lot of time thinking about think tanks. In my other guise as a man championing collaboration, the idea of creating an open think tank to deal with all sorts of issues has come up over and over again. Everything from book clubs (discussing books like The Black Swan or various Gladwell tomes), through to trying to address some of the bigger problems society faces: people interested in this stuff seem to come to me to talk about doing it.
Political philosophy and democratic reform. We’re coming up to a general election in the next 9 months which is likely to be dominated by media soundbites. There is something interesting to do there.
Whilst we’re onto media soundbites, the biggest driver of Kagtum over recent years has been a deep concern about how the media works. There is so much I could do in that arena, the mere thought of it tires me.

The thing is, I know I’m not alone in having these interests. I know this, because who I am was moulded in ways I probably still don’t understand by my late adolescent experiences of The Well and other systems I frequented, full of people who shared those interests. The mailing lists I have frequented (and still do), remain often unsatisfying apart from occasional philosophical outbursts.

Perhaps I should spend my effort engaging in those communities. Perhaps I should try and build a new one. Perhaps I should just start work on little projects and document them here, with less of the polemic and the writing. Perhaps I should be building tools for discovery rather than just ranting. Maybe this isn’t the place to do it – I need to go and create a new domain, a new project, perhaps anonymously, and let it grow.

Frankly, I don’t know. And those of you who have been here before will be rolling your eyes and remembering the first five times you read this post. This time though, perhaps you’d like to make some suggestions. Even better, perhaps you’d like to get involved.

Life is a Zigzag…

2009-09-26T12:01:00Z

The Big Experiment has met an obstacle. It’s time to take a tangential direction, a diversion off the planned route.

I’ve agreed to teach a University module for a couple of semesters. I might hate it – and many lecturers have at times resented getting knowledge across to the disinterested – or it could be one of those things I never knew I’d enjoy so much. It could be agony, it could be awesome.

I’ve wanted to try teaching for a while. When the opportunity to try something new comes along, it would be foolish not to take it. Who knows if the offer will ever come along again? So the decision was simple.

However the module runs for two semesters. Next Spring – the season I had planned to head off out of the UK – will now require me to spend 2 hours a week teaching. Then come the exams to mark, an examination board to attend, and until June my life is going to be at least partly focused on the academic. Perhaps it’s a sign – some unknown consciousness telling me to stay here, settle down, go and teach. Maybe it’s a stupid decision. Time will tell, as it always does in its own subtle way.

That does not mean I can not continue with some of my other plans. I just don’t know what those are right now.

For now then, I’m going to try and get some of my more polemical-style writing here. Love it or loathe it as a reader, it gives me pleasure to attempt.

A Temporary Desk Solution

2009-09-03T17:07:33Z

BT installed a phone line for me into my next door neighbour’s house. That, in short, is why today is the first time in 53 days I have connectivity at home. What’s done is done, we’re here now, it’s time to get on with some work.

However, I faced a problem when settling in to do some work. For starters, I don’t have a desk. I’ve been meaning to get one, but it’s been slipping down my list of priorities. I can get one sorted at the weekend or next week, but what am I meant to work at for now? My kitchen table? No, that won’t do. I have a back bedroom, a space I’m turning into a home office and that is where I should be. Just, you know, no desk makes it a bit awkward.

What’s more the back bedroom is full of cardboard boxes I’ve yet to unpack. Stuff I haven’t needed in nearly 2 months is stuff I can probably chuck, but I want to go through it first. Alas, this afternoon though, my back room/home office looked like this:

See? All cardboard boxes.

Sturdy cardboard boxes. That are so sturdy, they can each take quite a lot of weight. Really… strong… cardboard. Hmmm… that gives me an idea…

If I just tidy up my boxes like so… and then…

… just put some flattened boxes on top, three thick for some decent strength, then suddenly…

I have a desk! It’s actually quite reasonable to work at. There are obvious disadvantages like I need to make sure I don’t spill a cup of tea over it, and I need to make sure the laptop doesn’t get too hot thereby causing a fire risk, but as a temporary measure, it works.

I still have a few boxes left over, which answers the question of what I can do by way of a temporary bedside table for the next week or two whilst I await delivery of my new one. Cardboard boxes, they’re bloody good, eh?

Hemingway – The Marmite Of Writers?

2009-08-31T13:25:06Z

Ernest Hemingway is a bit like Marmite: people either love or loathe him. Like Marmite, I’m somewhere in the middle. I can see both sides and am relatively indifferent however I’m starting to get sucked into his writing of late.

What I find bizarre is that the conversations between his characters seem so ridiculous when read, but if you were to transfer them to screen it would flow almost perfectly. There is so little decoration of dialogue – he attempts to show rather than tell, as all good writers do – you have to work out for yourself that this character is indignant, angry or excited. The only direction he gives to the reader in the first dozen chapters of Fiesta: The Sun Also Rises about a character’s state of mind that I spotted this morning was that “she was drunk”.

The writing isn’t as dreamlike as I prefer, but it’s growing on me. It forces a reading between the lines that resonates with my way of thinking a little more than many others. But even so, it’s Great Literature, and we all know how awfully pretentious that is really, don’t we?

Creative Pangs

2009-08-28T14:43:41Z

I wish to make things. I don’t know what, or why, or how. But I wish to create. And I am frustrated because I can’t find a channel in which to release that pang.

I enjoy writing, but my writing is stale and unimaginative these days – I need to shake things up a bit.

I like drawing and painting, but am unbelievably bad at it. Perhaps I should practice.

I was once a mediocre musician, and am now an awful one. I no longer own any musical instruments.

I can not act. I do not have the patience to become a decent photographer. I have no idea as to how to design properly. I am a reasonable, but relatively unimaginative cook.

But I’m full of the pang of creation, to make stuff. And so I’m a bit glum.

Perhaps, just perhaps, something will spark this weekend and something will happen. If you have ideas on how to channel creative pangs, I would gladly hear them. Unless they involve unprotected anonymous sex and a fatherless child, as that would be simply unhelpful.

Bloody Driving Stuff…

2009-08-27T15:06:25Z

My name is Paul, I am 31 years old, and I have never learned to drive.

Let me be clear: I actually can drive per se, I just don’t have a driving license. On private land, I have sat behind a steering wheel, used a clutch, changed gear, and actually driven in a smooth and controlled way, and in an emergency I could illegally get somebody to an A&E ward, but I have not taken the necessary lessons and tests to be able to do so on public highways legally, or even remotely safely.

Looking at the next six months, it would seem this is a situation that needs to change, and rapidly. I will need to skip around the North West and beyond to far-flung offices of corporate finance houses, accountants and business advisors on a regular basis. I am going to need to be able to bomb down the M6 or M1 for a couple of hours in a way that makes getting there by train pretty impractical. Sure, where a train makes sense I’ll take it, but basically, I need a car, and right now I can’t exactly afford to hire a driver.

That means a couple of things:

Learning how to drive in a way that gets me through a test, cost-effectively, and ideally before Christmas (i.e. an intensive course is probably in order)
Going out and buying a car, sorting out the insurance, maintenance, etc. and dealing with having an expensive liability seeping money out of my wallet on a daily basis

Both of these factors have put me off until now. I wish I could resist further. However, realistically, I can’t put it off any longer. In a way I am looking forward to it, and as my driving will be exclusively business related the costs can be defrayed somewhat, but even so this is going to be such a bloody drudge and pain in the arse I am finding excuses to avoid it.

First things first then: anybody got any advice on intensive courses? Should I just go out and book a couple of lessons a week for the next month or so and then see where I am and how many more lessons I need? Bad driving schools to avoid? Good ones to recommend?

I won’t be blogging progress much, simply as failing my test first time around would be too crushing for my ego, but I’m sure that when the time comes you’ll all know I’m out there on the roads being a danger to society.

Things I Now Know

2009-08-04T16:07:09Z

Yesterday was my 31st birthday. There was a fair bit of booze involved, and a meal at Gaucho’s (a lovely place for the carnivore), all combined over the course of the day with people I am proud to call my friends. I had dozens and dozens of messages on facebook, twitter and via text message. It was overwhelmingly lovely.

I was thinking this morning how much things had changed since last year. In 12 short months, my outlook on life has changed dramatically. I don’t think many people have noticed that much. If they have noticed, many people seem to assume it’s temporary or that (in one case), it’s very much for the worse.

So, things I now know as a 31 year old, I did not know on my 30th birthday, no matter how obvious they might seem to me now, should have been before, or have been to everybody else:

I am very mortal. I will not be a 20-something for ever, nor can I live as one unless I do not want to see 60.
Getting drunk is boring, unless you only do it occasionally. It’s a bit like sex – if it becomes routine, it’s no fun for anybody involved, but if you go too long without, life seems less vivid.
Many of the people I care about are relatively (that is relative to me), indifferent back towards me when it comes down to it, but that’s OK.
The reason I wasn’t getting stuff done as planned for the last decade is because it wasn’t a plan at all. It was just a collection of bad ideas.
I really was a self-absorbed prick when it came to women in my 20s. The future will be different, if the gods continue to allow me a future.
Being in charge of your own destiny is one thing. Being in charge of half a dozen people’s destinies something quite different.
Doing something that you think is a bad idea often isn’t as bad as you thought it was. Like, moving to suburbia for example.
When somebody tells you they love you, they might just be hoping that by saying it it’ll suddenly become true. It’s hear-breaking to realise they don’t mean it, but not as heart-breaking as pretending.
Your very best friends aren’t the ones you spend the most time with, but the ones who make spend time with you memorably
Don’t put ideas into people’s heads unless you’re really sure that’s where they belong. People will act on them if they think you’re smarter than they are, and may do something silly.

A very odd year, actually. When I look back to what I was doing, planning and hoping for 12 months ago, and what I’m doing, planning and hoping for today, it’s hard to reconcile.

I’m still me, but I’m really not that guy from then. I hope – dearly – that this guy sticks around more.

The Big Experiment: Phase 1

2009-07-13T08:31:14Z

The Big Experiment has begun, at least in part.

I’m not going to turn this blog into a long self-obsessed journal about discovering myself. However, I thought the occasional update about my plans and how they are shaping up might be of interest. If not, I’ll shut up.

I am writing this from my new home, a rented mid-terrace cottage in a fashionable corner of Chorlton (50 yards from the green, donchaknow…). I still have a few boxes left to move out of the city centre apartment I’ve inhabited for the last six years, but this place is already starting to feel a little like home after my first night here.

Already there are things I’ve started to notice that I wasn’t expecting.

Firstly, whenever I spend any time thinking about the last decade living in the city centre, I start to well up. I can’t explain it yet, the closest I can get is that it’s like saying good-bye to my twenties once and for all. For a couple of days last week just before I was about to move, I considered not doing so. It was only when I focused on the long-term future I was able to realise I needed to make the jump.

The thing about ruts is that they are more like whirlpools than ditches. If you’re in a ditch, you clamber out. If you’re in a whirlpool you’re constantly being pulled back in by the force of what you’re climbing out from. I have no idea what it is that is sucking me back yet other than familiarity.

I suppose many people experience something similar in their lives: couples who are only together because they already are; the employee who has given the best years of their lives to an employer because they didn’t know what else to do; the addict who mentally can not imagine a different life than the one they have.

Addiction. Hmmm. Maybe I am addicted to the city centre. Maybe my welling up is the acknowledgement that I’m in rehab. We’ll see.

It’s amazing how we’re prepared to suffer with the familiar because we’re scared of change. In 2002 I paid my way in life by being a professional gambler, so you’d think I’d be up for taking a few risks from time to time. In fact the whirlpool of city centre living has meant I haven’t even had time to notice that risks were available.

And it seems on the face of it, this is a rather odd risk. I’m moving away from a community I love, from a luxury one-bed penthouse apartment into a cottage that frankly needs a few jobs doing to it, into suburbia (which I’ve always hated), paying more rent per month for the privilege and pretty much into an unknown.

Thing is, that’s exactly what I need. I need to be shook up out of my community, my luxury, my comfort zone, my “known knowns”. I need to know that by doing so I can survive. Once I know that, the prospect of spending the next few years on the road around Europe seems more plausible, possible, and likely. So far then, the experiment is starting to work. I’m not unhappy, quite the contrary.

That said, Chorlton is already starting to grate slightly.

The locals seem to think this area is so divinely perfect it must have been created by God himself, on the eighth day of creation, by crapping out a golden egg out of which hatched Wilbraham and Barlow Moor roads. Some talk of the local shops with such awe that you half-expect a visit to the local charity bookshop will reveal to your subconscious the true name of Jehovah or that eating a sandwich from the local deli will produce the same effect as imbibing the elixir of eternal youth.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s OK, it’s a nice enough area on the whole. But it’s not the centre of civilisation.

Also – and this was expected, perhaps not so quickly – it is quite lonely out here. When you’re used to living in an area where you know a substantial number of people in the neighbourhood, or have hooks into the local community that means you can always find a friendly face to have a drink or meal with, suddenly being in a valley of strangers can be a little… odd. I do have friends around here, just not as many. I’m sure with time that will change. If it doesn’t, I’ll realise the truth of what matters the most to me in life and go flat-hunting in town in January.

Another thing I hadn’t even thought about was something that might seem strange for me to mention: children.

There are no children living in the city centre that I know of. It’s pretty much a kid-free zone. Here, schools are all over the place. In late afternoon, the place swarms with kids. At first (last week when I first noticed it, when I was picking up my keys), it rankled. Now I’m thinking it’s quite nice to be in an area that isn’t so dedicated to the uber-serious middle-class professional & single lifestyle. Walking past the park yesterday, kids were playing and laughing. It’s hard to explain how that sight and sound feels after more than a decade’s absence.

So far then, the experiment has started and observations have begun. I’ll try and remember to keep this place updated with more than just “cat blogging” like this, but I suspect given this is the biggest change in my life since starting my own business it is going to be foremost in my mind a great deal over the next few months.

Music from “Henry VIII: Mind of a Tyrant”

2009-07-02T12:58:35Z

With the recent hot weather, sleeping in the city centre has become a little uncomfortable, so I’ve been watching late night reruns of “Henry VIII: Mind of a Tyrant”.

One thing that stood out for me – perhaps as a fan of Thomas Tallis, not surprisingly – is the music. Based on music at the time, specifically on tunes and lyrics produced by Henry himself, the production seems to have got a new scoring and recording of them done to fit, and the result is beautiful.

Thankfully, you can listen to it for free online over at Philip Sheppard’s blog and I’m hoping they’ll release a CD of all of the tracks at some point – there is at least one track missing from this sounding like a stronger/fuller “Adieu Madame” without lyrics and trumpets in the background.

The Challenge of the Far-Right

2009-06-08T12:12:53Z

A few weeks ago, I wrote a letter in response to the Manchester Evening News’ campaign against the British National Party. They printed a highly edited and mangled version of my letter a week last Saturday before the Thursday European election. Here is the letter I wrote in its original form:

Whilst I agree with the MEN that the BNP are a party of ignorant racists, I feel that the campaign you have started has not yet addressed the core issues.

The reason why the BNP are in a position to potentially gain a seat at the European parliament is not because there is an increase in racism in our society, but because the mainstream political parties have failed in recent decades to engage with voters on the issues they care about.

As voter turnout has declined, political parties have focused on the narrow margin of swing votes. Swing voters typically fall into a demographic of educated, middle-class professionals. This focus represented in policy and manifestos has left working classes (of all skin colours), feeling disenfranchised and without a voice.

If you no longer feel you have any marketable skills thanks to your life-long employer outsourcing your job overseas, is it any surprise you would feel an inkling of resentment towards those you perceive as taking “British” jobs? What is expected to happen when the Labour Party abandons their traditional base to focus on “Mondeo Man” and “Winchester Woman” – is it conceivable that those feeling abandoned are prone to being manipulated into a racist vote?

Parties must now address the issues of globalisation and the development of a “knowledge economy” in a way that considers the views of those who lose their jobs as a result. They are not there to be ignored, they are part of our community.

I am fortunate: as a young, educated and middle-class male with marketable skills, I feel I have a future. Tens of thousands in the North West currently feel that they do not. Until the main parties start to realise the support for the BNP is of their own making and begin to focus on those disenfranchised by their current efforts, they are going to lose ground both politically and morally.

We need our political leaders to address the facts: a declining birth-rate and deskilling of our population means we need millions of new working immigrants by 2030 to avoid scrapping the state pension and reducing the services offered by the NHS; the majority of immigrants create new jobs and businesses rather than take those currently available to local populations; and that we as a society are not a pure-bred Anglo-Saxon race, but a mix of Saxon, Celtic, Norman, Scandinavian, Eastern European, African and Asian ancestors.

Calling the BNP names is like bullying the unpopular kid in the playground. The MEN should – in fact, must – campaign for the mainstream parties to abandon their fascination with the swing vote and to engage with the British population in a way that begins to convincingly address some of the daunting questions that face our society in the decades ahead.

I stand by my words. The BNP are in the position they are in today because of simple economic factors. If you travel to the Northern mill towns and talk to people about their attitudes towards ethnic minorities, yes, you’ll encounter some stereotypical racism. But the bulk of the resentment is seated in the desire for stable employment in their community. In other words: it’s the economy, stupid.

The fact those of us on the left and centre-left have not sat down and addressed genuine concerns in an adequate way beyond describing any jibe at multiculturalism as ignorant racism, is our own fault. We did this. We didn’t listen.

We now have to completely engage and explain the situation as it is: this country will die without inbound economic migration. It won’t just make life inconvenient for the middle classes, but make the welfare state completely unviable in just one generation. Yes, illegal immigration needs to be dealt with and we could start by actually implementing the Dublin Regulation which would mean those who claim asylum in the UK after transiting through other European countries are processed for asylum by the first EU country they entered. Implementing that one regulation alone would immediately cripple the BNP and their ridiculous policies.

And for me, the fight is now on. I have sent letters, memos and written essays on how the far-right need to be challenged, and how to do it. Nobody has listened. So now I’m going to start shouting a little louder.

It is the responsibility for the left to help the working classes, not ignore them. For the last two decades we have failed. Now the time is ripe for addressing these issues and showing just how flawed the thinking of the far-right is.

I hope you’ll join me.