1.? Black Tennis Pros - I have to give her a shout out.? She was the 1st black blogger I found.? She?and I share a passion for sports.? Of course?Tennis is her specialty.

2. SingleBlackMale - Enough said!? SBM is one I read daily.? I comment regularly.??It’s totally outside the box.

3.? Verysmartbrothas -? This isn’t for the light hearted.? Be prepared?for humor and controversy.

4.? Baggage Reclaim -? NML has a popular woman’s support/relationship site.

5.? Electronic Village -? My window to a larger network of writers/bloggers

Those are my top 5… but my list is growning.? Check out this list of Top 10 Black Blogs.

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She got here and was wearing shorts and a cute tank top.? I offered her a glass of wine and we sat down to talk.? We have plenty to talk about.? You see the last couple days we’ve been emailing about our relationship.? We’ve been discussing if we have potential for a true relationship.? We both came to the conclusion that even though we have some things that work, we need time to develop a relationship.? As a man, I thought the subject was closed.? At least it was for me.? The problem is.. it’s not closed for her.? After a couple gentle kisses, she springs a surprise on me.? She says, ‘I want to love you, but I’m scared.’? hmmmm.. As a man I ignore that whisper and continue to watch the movie.? So she repeats it again, ‘I want to love you, but I’m scared.’? By now, I realize I have to address this subject.? So with a straight face and with the greatest sincerity I could stir up I told her, ‘ there is always fear in the unknown.’?

A few minutes later, we decide to sit poolside to continue our conversation.? We began to talk about why she was scared.? She’s claims it’s because I’m too secretive.? From her viewpoint, I don’t tell her everything about me.? I don’t answer all of her questions.? From my viewpoint, I can’t tell you everything about myself in one sitting.? It takes time to get to know me or anyone else.? You have to spend time with me and you’ll learn it all, eventually.? Now the part that makes me worry is, she wants to know everything about me.? She claims she wants to know what my shoe size is, my middle?name, my family history,?and any other thing you can imagine.? Now this is not something I can tell her in one?conversation.? I attempted to let her know that it takes?weeks, months and sometimes years to know things like that about someone. ?That answer didn’t go over so well.? So on the way back from the pool she whispers in my ear and gives me the revelation, ‘I love you and I admit it.’

OK at this point I’m not taking her seriously.? We’ve been drinking wine and talking.? I attribute her emotional feelings to her intoxicated state.? I mean, everyone knows a woman that always cries when they drink.? I’m not exactly sure what to expect next.? Once we’re inside she claims she has done a background check on me.? I’m OK with that.? I told her I encourage her to do one.? She became distant when I told her, ‘I believe in Google, background check and prenups.’? Now this is the part where you need to pay attention….

She tells me she’s done.? I’m a bit confused about that statement.? I told her, if you don’t trust me, don’t date me.? If doing a background check on me makes you feel better, then do it.? I have nothing to hide.? She looked at me and said, ‘I have to get something from my car.’ She grabbed her purse and keys, then walked out the door.? She was in such a hurry she almost ran over a moody bitch that was on the sidewalk.? I knew she was planning on leaving.? I knew she wasn’t planning on coming back.? I knew there was nothing in car.?

I spent the next couple minutes talking to my neighbor outside.? It didn’t take long before she called me.? She made it to the gate and turned back around.? Within 10 minutes she was back inside.? She was kissing me and telling me she would never walk out on me again. (like I believe that one)? The next thing I know she has to go to the bathroom.? It took her a little too long before I went to go check on her.? She was laying in my bed nakkid!? How did she go from being mad at me to getting nakkid with out my suggestion?? Was she passed out drunk?? Or was she just trying to manipulate me?

I leaned over and asked her if she was sick.? She said, ‘I just want you to make love to me.’? Now in my mind that means lets have wild sex and I’ll spank her on the ass just to let her know this is sex..not love making.? Over the next few hours there was plenty of hot sex.? There was plenty of sounds of ecstasy and pleasure.? The part that shocked her was my ability to make her have squirting orgasms.? She had 3 of them over a 4 hour period.? She even cried several times? and she kept saying that she loved me.? During one of her crying sessions, she confessed that we’re meant to be together.? She has always loved me since the 1st time we dated in February.? I don’t know what to say.? Finally, after a few seconds, I tell her that we should discuss all of this once her emotions calm down.? I don’t think anything I would tell her would even be heard.

After she gained her composure, she says we need to be FWB. (friends with benefits)? Some how she thinks that a safe way for her to be sexual with me.? I can only imagine how long that will last in her mind.? According to my FWB rule list, you’re not supposed to fall in love with your hook up.?

Eventually we fell asleep.? She stayed snuggling with me until the moment she left early this morning.? As crazy as last night was she emailed me to say, ‘I am trying to forget last night… I put myself out there way tooo much.’

Was it her putting herself out there too much or is there something else on her agenda?

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I’m not talking about the lets go to dinner, catch a movie and?drop you off at home date.? I’m talking about the normal Eathan date.? The one where I invite her over to my place for a glass of wine.? The one where?we watch a movie and she laughs at my jokes.? The one where she can’t keep her hands off me.? And yes, the one where she admits that she’s gone black and never going back!? And in true IDW fashion, I write about it, she reads my review and loves it.? Yes I’m human.? I have celebrity fantasies too.? haha

Ok back to the serious part of me.? The fact is, this gives me a chance to promote/encourage support to one of the most worthy charities.? Susan G. Komen is one of the best organizations to support.? Since they are based in Dallas, I’ve watched them grow by leaps and bounds on a local and national level.? The one thing I can suggest to all the beautiful women that read my page is to get your yearly mamogram.? For all the men that read my page, make sure you take a minute to encourage/support that special woman in your life to get tested.? There is an estimated 182,460 new cases of invasive breast cancer are expected to happen in the United States in 2008.??So?please do your part in by?giving supporting?any and all that need it.

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?The answer is yes, yes and YES.? The NFL is promoting it’s own product to the world.? African-Americans make up 77% of the NFL players in 2007. ?Now more than ever the?female audience is increasing every year by leaps and bounds.? As much as 30% of the audience is women.? That means 3 out of 10 viewers are women.? What do women want to see besides their own team win, athletic men.? Women love to look at well defined hot bods like, Jason Taylor, Reggie Bush, Chad Johnson, and even T.O.? The list goes on and on. This is nothing new.? Just look at the commercials on TV.? The fact is media influences?our views, opinions and thoughts?on a daily basis.? The media?advertises and promotes?products that we dont need. They promote products that we can’t afford.? They?promote products that?are just a fantasy.??The NFL is a media giant.? The NFL promotes their game just like any other business.? The?NFL is looking to expand their viewers.? If that means putting?their largest?asset in front of their fastest?growing market of viewers, they will.??Women?are visual and thrive off fantasy.? Watching hours of your favorite team or athlete run around in tight athletic?gear will stimulate any woman.? African-Americans make up 77% of the NFL players in 2007.? So when you see commercials for sports drinks, shoes, athletic apparel and even charity events you see African-Americans leading the way.??They do it for?the?for the sponsorship?money.? The women notice because of the hot guy.? If they had?Jason Taylor?wearing?Calvin Klein underwear, there would be women rushing out to buy them all over the world.? FYI, sex sells.?

So as I’m preparing myself for the 2008 NFL season, I wonder what NEW products are being marketed by NFL players.? Is there going to be anything new for the African-American?community?? I doubt it!??I don’t think the NFL will have Afro?Sheen or Ebony/Jet Magazine as a league sponsor.? Are they advertising any Afro-American TV shows on ABC/ESPN, CBS, FOX?and NBC?? NO!? There are none.? With all the financial power the NFL has, it could easily force the networks to produce?a more ?diverse programming package for networks that broadcast their games.? Instead they continue to promote their product with out any consequences to their TV partners.

With the amount of money the players receive from their contracts, it now?gives them exposure to basically any social environment they want to explore.? I am glad they are able to better their life.? I was happy to see one of my cousins play in the NFL for 7 years.? He made?millions and it changed his life for the better.?

I know from my own personal experience, I’ve noticed athletes taking up expensive hobbies.? Hobbies that the average African-American doesn’t have access to.? You will notice that there is a large influx of players on yachts, speed boats, and other water craft they previously had no access to because of their?social/financial status.? I’m not hating on the fact they make?a lot of money.? I’ve?chartered boats for?deep?sea fishing and noticed the sport isn’t one that has?many?minorities involved.??It’s expensive.? More importantly, I’ve noticed the women, if there are women on the boats are not black women. ?

Does this mean I think it’s bad for interracial dating?? No I don’t.? I think the?NFL is encouraging it by it’s marketing style.? When the NFL launched it’s own TV network it gave immediate access to features like?the NFL combine.? For all the female fans who didn’t?notice, they no longer broadcast player weigh-ins.? Why?? It was a “beef cake feast” as one female watcher called it.??Over 300?athletes?attend to have their skills tested, are shirtless for the women to stare.? Not all of them have 8% body fat, but nonetheless they are?there as a marketing tool.?

Next time you?are?at the Dallas Cowboys game (the greatest NFL team)?watching football, check out the?who wants to meet the players.? Next time you’re?looking at?the players myspace profile,?just?see who is leaving comments.??I’m sure there are some wishful WHITE female fans.

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RT38 is a 38yr old divorced white woman.? She’s 5′6″ tall, long blond hair, brown eyes, gorgeous smile.? She has?2?dogs, no children and lives alone.??She and her friends have been dating recently.? RT38 said she’s had 2 dates in the past and both weren’t anything close to what she was looking for.? RT38 and friend are the only 2 in their group that date interracial.? Her friend is a 5′ 7″, petite 51 yr old white woman.? I must say?she doesn’t look her age.? She could pass for being 10 years younger.? I was hoping Nigel would show up.? They would have been good together.? Oh well, he missed out.? We?sat there talking about the?Snoop Dog concert that RT38 went to a couple nights ago.? I knew that RT38 was?a bundle of energy, but now?could truly see?she was more than that.? She loved music, she loved dancing and enjoys being social.? The?3 of us began to notice the club decor.? I must say it was something?from the 70’s!? It was a scene straight out of the movie Jackie Brown.? I expected to see Shaft, Pam Grier, and maybe even Starsky and Hutch to walk through the door.? It?had?the dark brown and red wood on the walls.? It even had a disco ball!? I found out the band was a local legend, Don Diego.? I wasn’t sure what to expect besides good times.

The club manager came over and walked us to the table we reserved.? We had stage side seats for the show.? When the music started I was blown away.? It was a great surprise.? Don Diego played a full catalog of music from the 60′ - 70’s.? I heard Sam Cooke, The Isley Brothers, LTD and even old school Prince.? I had a good drink in my hand and beautiful woman on my side.? I didn’t even notice the club was a ‘black’ club.? I normally don’t go to clubs that are majority black, but this was a exception.? This club had such a good vibe.? There was no tension, no angry blacks, and, even more importantly, no haters.? There was no one looking at the brotha with the hot white girls sitting in the front.? We decided to get up and dance.? The dance floor was standing room only.? RT38 and I danced, we shook our ass and we even kissed between songs.? When we finally sat down, she mentioned that I had surprised her.? She said I bushed her off for 2 months.? She never expected to me to go out with her.? So I confirmed that I was very happy that we’ve gone out and I wanted to go out with her again.? She wants our 2nd date to be a dinner date.? I agreed with her.? It’s not common for me to go on a 1st date and dance.? So I was shocked that we both enjoyed each other’s company.? When we the band finally took a break the DJ played Hip-Hop.? We danced to Tupac, Jay-z, and even Bob Marley.? When the band started back the club was standing room only.? There was enough?Negros in there, I thought it was the latest Spike Lee movie.? The band took a twist and started to play rap.? It was time for me to go.? I’d rather listen to a DJ playing rap than a band any day.

RT38 was getting tired and was ready to go home. She and I walked outside.? I was going to take her home since her friend was still inside dancing.? It would’ve been out of my way to take her home, but I didn’t mind.? By the time we got to the car I noticed her friend walking out.? Thank God!? It was going to save me a 25 minute drive in the opposite direction.? We ended up standing there talking about our 2nd date options.? Our date ended with a passionate kiss and a hug.? She said my lips are made for kissing.? She didn’t want to stop kissing me, but it was time for me to go home.? Since I had her on ice for 2 months, I figured I’d wait a few more days before?getting sexual with her.

The drive home gave me time to reflect on the evening.? I haven’t gone to a predomitely black club in years.? I didn’t?see any ex’s tonight. ?I haven’t gone dancing on a 1st date since my 20’s.? And, I haven’t had this many real dating prospects in years.? Why didn’t I?cross paths with them before?

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Last night I?finally invited?TR37 to come over?for a glass of wine.? That was one common thing that we shared.? We both enjoy wine.??She enjoys white wine and I like red wine.? She warned me that she had gained weight.? I wasn’t worried.? I know that she runs almost daily and stays in great physical?condition.? When she arrived, she was wearing her medical scrubs.? Blue and pink.? She looked?as good as I remember.??She calls herself fat, but?it’s only 10 extra pounds.? She still has those beautiful brown eyes and great smile.? We hugged and kissed.? We both admitted that we missed each other.? I even admitted that I thought I would never see her again.? It was strange…very strange.? It felt like we never stopped seeing each other.? We both had a glass of wine and began to catch up.? Then the awkward pause came.? So we conquered the pink elephant in the room.? I told her that if we never stopped seeing each other we would probably be in relationship.? Of course she disagreed.? If she agreed with me, she would have to admit to making a mistake 5 months ago.? And if you know TR37, she hates to admit when she’s wrong.? It wasn’t a big issue, I decided there are better things to worry about than who is right or wrong.? Now after having 2 glasses of wine, we practically exploded.? The sexual tension was waiting for it’s release.? TR37 and I have always been very passionate lovers.? This time was no different from any other time.? She experienced all 5 signs of good sex.? I’m sure I experienced a couple of those also.? This is the type of night that usually happens in movies.? I felt a sense of comfort tonight.? I’m not sure why, and I don’t really care.?

TR37 made it clear to me that she holds no expectations this time.? She mentioned that she wanted more from me previously.? I just felt she wanted too much too soon.? Some how she maintained me in her thoughts and memory for the last few months.? By way of our last conversation, I assumed that I was long forgotten.? I now know it was the exact opposite.? She’s never met anyone like me before.? She’s never met someone who wasn’t in a rush to be in a relationship with her.? I had to let her know the importance of me choosing the best relationship for me.? She now understands that I’d rather be alone that to be with the wrong person.? She promised that she will let things take their natural progression and not attempt to force me into a relationship.? I can only wait to see if her actions match up to her words.?

Is it normal for?a ex?to return to confuse?YOUR present dating choices?? Is she just coming back for a night or two of sexual bliss?? Is she really going to be different from before???

The real dilemma is starting to brew like a August hurricane.? It’s the choice between KT35 & TR37.? So once again, my life is not waiting for the storm to pass, but learning to dance in the rain.

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Brenda, that is a great question.? Over the years I’ve taken a lot of criticism because I use Google on a regular basis.? I use Google for research, being nosey, and sometimes when I’m bored.? Google is like the encyclopedia of the computer age.? It’s a great tool.? If you want to know about your date, Google him!? Put his name in and see what comes up.? Of course, you need to prepared for what you might find out.? You can find out all kinds of crazy things.? You can find birth records, divorce records, and even criminal records.? Now if you are using Google because you don’t believe or trust him, then you have a problem.

I personally do a couple things when I meet someone that I’m truly interested in.? I?will Google their name and/or phone number.??A simple search will give?me a idea of their history.? Why do I want to know?? I have kids.? The last thing I want to do is?get serious?with a ex-convict or put them in harms way.? I know people make mistakes, but my kids are my main interest.? If I didn’t have kids, I probably wouldn’t be concerned as much.? I’ve even done a background check.? I know there are people that are shocked by this, but these are the same people that don’t believe in a prenup.? I believe in google, background checks and prenups.??I?would expect a woman with?kids to do the same.? I?encourage a woman to do some minor home work to protect her and her children.? I?hate?reading stories of women who met some guy?who harmed her and/or her kids.? Go ahead and google him once and get it over with.? And while you’re at it, google your own name.

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PM45 is a?5′1” tall,?shoulder length blond hair, with green eyes.? She was wearing a summer baby doll dress.? It’s very cute and sexy.? She’s petite and has a natural?glow to her face.? I must say she has great?facial features, high cheek bones, great eyes, distinct nose and beautiful skin.? I didn’t know it at the time, but she’s?of French/Portuguese decent.? I think this is a 1st for me.? I can’t say I’ve ever?dated?someone of her ethnic background.? PM45 was totally different in person than she was on the?phone.? She’s still a talker, but?she didn’t over power the conversation.??I think it’s the culture difference, but who knows.??PM40 is divorced with one child.? She told me that she’s only dated interracial?1 time since being divorced.? It was?a serious relationship, because she?wanted to marry him.? Since that?didn’t happen she has moved on.? I found out that PM45 is a ex-model.? She did?print work 20 years ago.? I was a bit shocked and I even asked for?proof.? Just like most women, she had pictures in her wallet.? I wasn’t impressed with her being a model, I was more impressed that she turned my?perception of her around in a short period of time.

After having a second drink, she and I began to kiss.? If I didn’t know any better I would think this was a totally different woman that I spoke to on the phone.? Her kisses were gentle and passionate.? She was very responsive to my touch.? For some reason I decided to pushed?her to the limit.? I started by touching her knee and thigh.? I worked my way up slowly.??I teased her with every touch.? I decided to do something a bit different and not go all the way.? Yes, I teased her and she loved it!? Shortly afterwards, she curled up with?a blanket on the sofa.? It didn’t take long before?she fell?asleep.? Yes, she was sleeping on my sofa.? I didn’t mind.? I actually got up and checked my email, made a couple?phone calls, and even watched the news.? She didn’t wake up for 90 minutes.??When she realized how long she’d been sleeping she was a bit embarrassed.??She?mentioned that?something about me?is calming to her.? By now it’s about 1130pm and it’s getting close to my?bedtime.? PM45 gave me a passionate kiss and a hug?before leaving.?

It makes me wonder how could?she be so different on the telephone than in person.? I’ve never been so wrong before.? It was like a Jekyll and Hyde in a sexy dress.

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SI40 had a plan?for tonight.? She was going to pick?up her child and get settled at home.? After that she wanted me to ‘come out to play’.? I laughed because she was so cute when she said it.? It was almost out of character for her.? So I?got a text from her around 9pm, ‘are you still ready to come out and play’.? Of course I was.? I?already knew what was on her mind, so I left my house.? I was 1/2 there when I realized I forgot the?Magnums at home.? I had to turn around and go all the way back.? So I didn’t get to her?place?until 945pm.? I sent her a text to?let her know?I was there.? As always,?I gave her a big hug and long sensual kiss.? I’m sure that set the mood right?away.? The house was dim and I knew that her child was sleep upstairs.? We went?into?her bedroom and began to talk on the bed.? She was telling me all about her vacation.? She even showed me?pictures.? I’m jealous!? I want to be on the beach.? I want to get my drink on with a Caribbean breeze blowing across my brown ass.? I noticed that she?still had the wild vacation beach hair.? haha? It was totally different from our last date.? It was sexy.??She was a bit sun burned on her shoulders.? She?forgot to take sunblock.? Then she said she?was too cheap to?spend?$20 on a new bottle?there.? I can’t believe she would spend hundreds of dollars shopping there but wouldn’t buy sunblock.? She said it’s the principle..I just laughed.? Maybe it was just her master plan to get me to rub lotion on her.? It worked!? I began to lotion her skin.??Of course this lead to much more touching and rubbing.?

For the next 2 hours we?pleasured each other endlessly.? Now I’m normally a multiple position type of guy, but this wasn’t one of those nights.? For some reason we stayed in one position.? I think it’s because she?wants to spend a lot of time?kissing and?wrapping her arms around me.??I don’t mind that.? I actually like that a lot.??The other thing is how protected she can be.? Within a few minutes?of gaining her composure, I?noticed her body language changed.??Now that she was satisfied, she began to think about work.? I’ve done that plenty of times.? She blushed when I mentioned it, but I?understood what she was feeling.??She had 3 meetings?scheduled for the next day and began to worry about being prepared.??I left a few minutes later.? I have to admit that?it’s rare to find a woman who?secure enough to have you over to take care of her needs?with out becoming to emotional afterwards.? I know that we will go out on dates, but sometimes we just need/want sex.? What’s wrong with that?

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