...Iffy Inklings...

Dane's Home Birth

2020-01-20T08:07:00.000-07:00

*Do I need a disclaimer with a title like that? Obviously, intimate details and NAKED PHOTOS to come. Read Devin's birth story here.*

Dane Burleigh Rideau

To get to the birth, I guess I have to get the beginning fluff out of the way and go wayyyy back to the beginning.

I got a shoulder injury at work in September of 2018, which caused a lot of pain and interruption in my life. I was going to my chiropractor twice a week, a deep tissue massage that was incredibly painful once a week, and working light duty/partial duty restrictions for 24-36 hours per week. Between all of this, I was not sleeping well and tired all.the.time. I would come home from work and just lay on the recliner with a hot pad on my shoulder, needing to rest. Literally any moment I was at home I wanted to be sleeping and resting through the pain of my shoulder. At some point in December I realized that a shoulder injury shouldn’t be this exhausting...right?! Then the next dot connected: I was having terrible vivid dreams/nightmares just like when I was pregnant. And the next: some foods were making me really sick for the past few weeks. And then the last: WHEN WAS MY LAST PERIOD?!

I took a pregnancy test and it was immediately positive. I wasn’t ready to tell Vince yet because I had just started a new position at the hospital literally two days before that required extensive training, he was super overwhelmed with both kids at home and having a mini-breakdown about being a stay at home dad (four years into it…) and I just could not handle his negativity if he was unhappy. So I threw the test away, hid the box in the outside recycling, and ignored it. Not for long, though. He immediately found the box when he brought out the recycling because I apparently didn’t hide it and he called me (don’t remember where I was) and asked me if I was pregnant.

Fortunately he was totally on board with it, and didn’t think it was the end of the world like I did.

To figure out when my last period was actually took a bit of work. I knew the average date I started my period (every 28 days, and recently it’d been starting the Friday around the 20th), but I also knew Vince and I hadn’t “done the deed” for quite some time because of my injury. The final realization was that since I started my weekly massages the beginning of October, I had for sure only had one period because I was only wildly paranoid about dripping blood on the massage table one time. So in general, I had a roundabout time frame of when I got pregnant that gave me an estimated due date at the end of July/beginning of August.

Why was this such a big deal when I could just get an ultrasound? Because I didn’t want any! This was a huge deal to the OB/nurse midwife I saw to get medication for hyperemesis (oh yes, the beast was back), but fortunately not a big deal to the traditional midwife I chose to do my prenatal care with and be there for the delivery. This is its own story that I won’t get into now, but the gist is that I didn’t really know my dates and had a general idea.

The beginning of July, I started having prodromal or “false” labor. Definitely not Braxton-Hicks, but not real either. Just enough to be very uncomfortable and timeable, only to dissipate. This started around 36 weeks so I thought the baby was coming any time. Then the end of July came, and there was still no baby.

Then weeks and weeks passed, with no baby! I went over and over the dates in my head, and even with the last possible date that wasn’t really possible, I was “late”. I wrote about my feelings on it here on IG.

Finally, 4 ½ weeks after I started my maternity leave for work thinking my baby would be here any day, the day arrived where my baby decided to join us Earthside.

Two days prior, I had gotten acupuncture (I had been going 3-4 days a week for weeks at that point) and it kickstarted things. I had a few big contractions while there for a couple hours, but they went away when I got home. That evening around 11pm I started getting some painful ones that were about 10 minutes apart, but I managed to sleep between them. At 3:30am I started having very strong ones that I couldn’t sleep through (same exact time of when I went into labor with Devin!) that were 15-20 minutes apart. Through the early morning they increased to every 10-15 minutes.

I was a nice wife and let Vince sleep that night, knowing he would need his rest if I were in real labor. He got up to get Devin ready for school and I couldn’t stay in bed any longer, so I got up as well. I had been on maternity leave for the entire month previously and every day I slept in until 9 or 10 because I was dealing with nausea at night that was preventing me from getting to sleep at a decent hour. Vince always jokingly asked me, “Is it time?” every time I called him and randomly throughout the day, so when he asked me that morning I said, “YES!” Then he laughed, looked at me, and said, “Wait. Really? Is it really time?” And I laughed and said, “YES!” Mild panic ensued, he finished getting ready to take Dev to school, and he asked if he should have someone else drive her. I assured him it would still be a long time before this baby was here. Val had a visit with his grandma for the weekend so he was gone already.

I called my midwife Valerie at that point, who ended up not being the one I saw during my pregnancy (Maryn with Indie Birth) because she was out of town. Neither one of us planned on me still being pregnant! I let Valerie know the timing of them even though they were still far apart because she lives about an hour and a half away. With this being a second baby, we assumed (haaaaaa) that things would go faster than my first labor of 34.5 hours. I also texted my oldest friend Annika, who happens to be an apprentice with my original midwife and who had been attending my prenatal appointments and planned on being at the birth.

I was still feeling great in between contractions, so I did some gardening, blanched some beet greens for the freezer, and cleaned and prepped some roasted hatch green chilies for the freezer that I had picked up the day before at the farmer’s market. I tidied up a little around the house, ate and drank frequently to stay full in case things ramped up and I couldn’t anymore, and relaxed a lot on the recliner trying to close my eyes while listening to my HypnoBabies soundtracks (Birthing Day Affirmations and Easy First Stage). Vince ran a few errands, had a friend drive him to pick up his truck from the shop, and then did some housework. I also had him set up some of my baby wraps on our upstairs railing so I could pull on it during labor if desired.

When Dev got home around noon, she immediately recognized it as a swing and had fun on that! By the time she got home, contractions had increased in frequency a little bit and were very uncomfortable. I still felt fine between them, but they needed most of my attention during them. For the most part Devin was really good at listening to me when I told her not to talk to me, and that I needed to focus.

My contractions were still pretty inconsistent between 5-8 minutes apart, but consistently getting stronger and longer. My midwife stopped by at some point to check on me and I had none while she was there, ha! We decided that she’d go hangout in town and would call me in a couple hours to see how I felt. As soon as she left, they picked up again. A couple hours later around 5pm, I started having contractions every three minutes and they were lasting a full minute. They continued to stay every two-three minutes or more frequently until the birth 11 HOURS LATER.

The last times I tracked contractions.

This is where I confess that I had one breakdown after another. My midwife and Annika showed up around 8pm and I cried because I was relieved to have someone there who could help me through it. But also, there wasn’t much they could do and I thought I would have more relief than was possible. Yes, they could emotionally support me and help me as best as they could, but they couldn’t take the pain away or slow down my contractions!

I consistently went between my bedroom, the shower, and the living room and found absolutely no relief. The contractions were so strong and close together that I found it really hard to regain my composure between them. I had a couple hours feeling like this with Dev around transition, but this was hours and hours and hours so far and it was so unexpected that I didn’t know how to handle it. There were many times I felt defeated, exhausted, and not capable of giving birth again, which I was not expecting. This led to me saying I wanted to go to the hospital, even if it meant an epidural or C-section because I was DONE and didn’t care. I didn’t care!

I told everyone repeatedly to just take me to the hospital, but luckily Vince wouldn’t let it happen because he knew I didn’t really want to do that (I did! I didn’t care! haha). He kept continuously reguiding me, helping me switch positions, and telling me contractions in the car would be impossible. Things kept happening just in time for me to agree to stay home, though.

I felt nauseous and threw up, making a joke about people throwing up while in transition and that I better have the baby soon. I didn’t.

I asked for a cervical check at some point, and was fully dilated with bulging waters. My water still hadn’t broken, and mentally this was difficult for me. I asked to have my water broken with Dev after being at the same dilation for hours, and I was worried that they wouldn’t break this time and I’d get “stuck” again. I voiced my concern many times about the waters not breaking, and Annika asked me a few questions to work through it in my mind, like if I was afraid I couldn’t do it or if I felt like they needed to be broken again. Instinctively I knew I could still have a baby with the waters intact and that I didn’t need to do anything, but I was still afraid it would make my labor even longer and I was so done. Also, the reason I started to lose my shit during Dev’s labor was because my water was broken and the contractions were much worse and I knew I couldn’t handle more difficult ones this time.

I had a couple heart tone checks and everything was good, so I again agreed to stay home.

While standing up by my dresser insisting on leaving again, my water broke on its own. I said I wasn’t sure if I’d peed or if my water broke, but that I was leaking fluid everywhere. I never felt a big gush, so I think I had a small leak versus a full rupture. This was enough progress to keep me home, thinking that now with the waters broken and being fully dilated I’d have him soon.

But again! No!

I went back and forth again between the bedroom, bathroom and living room still feeling no urge to push despite being fully dilated for quite a while now. Lots of hip squeezes from my midwife and Annika, spoonfuls of honey and sips of water, a hot rice bag (a huge size my grandma sewed me!) and moaning. I did some pushing just to see if anything would happen, but could never get in a comfortable position for my shoulder or back (remember, still injured!).

During the pushing, my dad showed up because I told Vince I was absolutely going to the hospital and he needed to take care of Devin. Then, I could feel Dane’s head (very high inside me still) so I stayed. Seriously, so much back and forth!

My dad went and woke up Dev around 2am thinking I’d deliver soon because my midwife said it’d be any minute, but I laughed and said that I pushed for four hours with Devin and this baby wouldn’t be here any time soon.

I pushed, I cried, I yelled so loud that I have no idea why my neighbors didn’t call the police thinking someone was being tortured, and basically lost my shit for a long time. Oh, speaking of shit, I pooped SO much. All over. With every push, I pooped. And Annika gracefully wiped it up after Devin would say, “There’s more poop! Poop is coming out!”

Finally, Vince insisted that I just go lay in bed. He said I was moving around too much and that I just needed to lay on my back like I did with Devin and be able to support myself. I think he was also just tired of holding my 185 pound body while I screamed in his face. Who knows.

So off to bed we went, and then I had a baby. Yep. Over two hours of pushing elsewhere, and within 20 minutes or so I had a baby in bed.

The head was fully crowning and I had to wait for another contraction, just like with Dev. The head came out and my baby was instantly screaming as soon as lips touched the air. Vince immediately noticed and indicated to the midwife that there was a cord wrapped around the neck, and it was so tight that my midwife couldn’t actually get it over the head and instead had to slide it over their shoulders as I pushed them out. Once the shoulders and hips were out I was like, GIVE ME MY BABY and Vince said they weren’t all the way out and I was like, DON’T CARE, PASS HIM TO ME. I obviously didn’t listen to what Vince actually said, because I definitely thought my baby was fully out. Vince picked them up and the legs came out of me and I said WHAT WAS THAT? So yes, Vince helped deliver the legs and yes it was shocking.

Vince immediately placed our baby on my chest and I didn’t think to see if it was a boy or girl because I just knew he was a boy. He was so covered in vernix, but also so flaky and wrinkly indicating that he was a post-term baby. He was wide-eyed and seemed to be taking everything in. I think Vince asked what the baby was and he looked to tell me it was a boy. I checked and laughed saying, “His balls! They’re so big! Look at his penis!” We stayed snuggled up for a little bit while my midwife gave me some herbs and tinctures and had me drink water. Vince realized no one looked at the time he was born, so we took a guess and looked back at the video recording that Annika had taken on her phone. 4:27am on Saturday, August 24th!

Annika asked if I was ready to deliver my placenta, but I felt like I would just die if I did so I opted to wait a little bit. She could see it bulging out and I could feel it, so I knew it had detached itself and that I wasn’t likely at risk for hemorrhage. Eventually I delivered the placenta and asked Annika to help pull it out because I was so sore. It was a beautiful, healthy and super strong placenta!

After an hour of snuggling and great nursing, I decided to take a quick shower while my midwife was still there because my armpits stank enough that I couldn’t stand myself. We used some sterile string I stole from work to tie off his cord, and Vince and Dev cut the placenta using the same scissors we used for Dev’s birth. We weighed him (7lbs, 8oz - exactly what I predicted!) and measured him (...I can’t remember.). They got some skin on skin time while I showered, then Vince made some food that I never ate because I was too sore and shaky and I just wanted to sleep.

And that was that! 25 hours of labor, which was long but still 9.5 hours shorter than Dev’s. Dane’s labor was WAY harder than Devin’s, though. I’ll post soon about that and how I actually felt about his whole labor other than relief that he was finally here after 42 ½ weeks.

Thank you to Annika for the labor/postbirth photos and birth support, and my midwife Valerie!

So much love for those two amazing birthworkers.

Books! And the sound of my soul crushing.

2018-01-03T19:58:00.001-07:00

Hello there, ol' blog. This may have been my longest blogging break - over five months! I actually forgot what my blog looked like, yet it feels like I just wrote my previous blog post a couple weeks ago...

I figured I'd be very noncommittal and set the bar very very low with my first post of the year, and will just talk about books. Much easier than figuring out my feelings of having an unexpected baby (now toddler!) in the house, going to court and the overall stress of dealing with terrible government workers on a weekly basis.

This year, in between buying a house, caring for the previously mentioned baby in addition to the terribly headstrong two-year old Devin, starting my master's degree, and working full-time as a nurse, I finished 36 books as part of my 2017 reading challenge. This was a total of 12,577 pages! My goal was 30, so I felt pretty great going over it. I'm setting my goal this year at 30 again, because I'd rather overachieve than underachieve.

I can easily say my favorite book this year (or rather, two books) was The Name of the Wind and The Wise Man's Fear, which is part of the Kingkiller Chronicle. I came across this series by complete accident, and looking back it seems like they were the most "meant to be" books I've ever read. A coworker had recommended a book to me, saying I would love it. I wrote the name down, but I accidentally washed the paper and months went by with me forgetting to ask about it. One day after rating a book on goodreads, I saw a comment from Patrick Rothfuss saying something along the lines of "I'm a really great and accomplished author of an epic series and I have a beard and this book made me cry," so I meandered over to his page to see what this asshat looked like and to see if he really was accomplished. Lo and behold, I came across his insanely accomplished and successful series and recognized the name as being the one my coworker recommended, or so I thought.

I refuse to read books that are part of a series unless all of them are out because I hate being left on a cliffhanger and have learned my lesson one too many times (namely, Harry Potter. A million times over.). Diligently, I looked up all three of his books on goodreads to make sure they were out and they each had thousands of reviews, so I figured they were all released. WRONG.

Anyways, I started the first book and wasn't completely taken in within the first few chapters. I told my coworker I finally checked out the book he recommended, but I couldn't remember the name so I said, "Ya know, the one about the wind and it's like a story within a story? You said it's good, right?" He was adamant that I'd love it so I pushed through. Well, I ended up finishing all 662 pages in about a week. And then when I checked out all 994 pages of the second book, I finished that in a week. While dealing with three members of my family having norovirus, with two of the three shitting allllll over my house.

Ahem.

So as you would imagine, I was SO ready for the third book and when I went to check it out from the library, it wasn't there. Oh well, off to Amazon to pay whatever amount they want because I'd pay a million dollars to know how it all ends. But. BUT. IT WASN'T THERE. Because there IS no third book yet and I don't think I've ever been so enraged in my life? Just ask Sara, I probably texted her 9,000 times telling her how deeply upset I was and I could just feel my soul being crushed. And this went on for monnnnnnths, you guys! Months! I'm not even kidding! I just couldn't get over it.

My first course of action upon not finding the book was to go to goodreads, and guess what all the reviews were? People asking when the book was going to be out. I dieeeeeee.

When I went to yell at my coworker for recommending an unfinished series, he said he had no idea what I was talking about because the book he recommended wasn't part of a series. What?! Turns out, he recommended Shadow of the Wind, which is also a story within a story but a very different story than I read.

Anyways, on December 31st of this year, while thinking of all the books I've read, I figured I'd see if there was an update for a release. Apparently Patrick has been promising for seven years to release the book and I was hoping 2018 would be the year. But no. It's not and he's already said it won't be released in 2018, so I'm angry once again about it. Ha! So all this to say that this trilogy, what's released of it, is easily in my top five, maybe even top two, favorite books (behind the seven Harry Potter books). Read it if you don't mind cliffhangers, otherwise don't. Just don't. I still feel the crushing pain like it was yesterday.

Cheers to more books in 2018!

Potty training, IUD, and a menstrual cup.

2017-07-10T16:58:00.002-06:00

Warning, period talk ahead.

Devin is mostly potty trained! And she did it completely on her own.

Around the time we moved she was starting to become interested in going on the potty, but then with all the changes she had zero interest. I tried to push it for a few days and then decided I didn't actually care because diapers are way easier than managing a public bathroom. Gross. But, we continued to read the potty book at bedtime because she loves it and now I attribute it to her learning. She'll basically recite the whole book while in the bathroom and loves shouting, "Hooraaaaaay! Pee pee in the potty! I did it! Undiiiiiies!!!!" Yes, it's freaking adorable. She had a couple accidents the first few days, but has been good since. She does still wear a diaper for bed and naps, though. I have no idea how to go about night training!

Because she's so excited about the potty, she insists on going to the bathroom with me. She often went with me before, but now she is VERY interested in every aspect of my bathroom functions. This is how she came to learn about my menstrual cup during my very long eight day period last month. I got a copper IUD put in at the beginning of May and as any woman who has one knows, your period is a lot heavier and longer the first many months. I didn't notice anything about my flow because of the cup (just that it was fuller than usual when I emptied it) but definitely noticed the length of time. Which was forever.

Anyways, every time I went to the bathroom Devin insisted on watching as I put in/took out the cup. Many people are probably fuh-reaking out right now, but hello. She's a female. Someday she'll have to go through this. It's normal, it's natural, and there's nothing to be weirded out about. Moving on. So she insisted on watching me and I explained that I was on my period, this was my "period cup", and I put it in my vagina to collect blood that I'd dump later. (Ok, maybe this is kind of something to be weirded out about. Ha.) I would leave it out at night and each morning she'd see it washed and on the counter and would say, "Put in period cup, mama!"

We are now two weeks past the end of my period and she still talks about it, you guys! I'm just waiting to embarrassed about it in public with her talking about it. She saw one at Sprout's and excitedly identified it as a "period cup", which totally had me laughing. I'm glad to educate her so young and even more glad that I won't have to have such an awkward talk when the time comes. Now if only I could easily sneak in the sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll talk so easily...

*update because I wrote this last month and forgot to post - I had my IUD period again this month and it was shorter than my normal period with minimal cramps. Hallelujah. And Dev got wayyyyy excited when I pulled out my cup and cloth pads shouting, "Yay, mama period! Put in the cup!" I'm still laughing about it!

And now here's my PSA - if you haven't tried a menstrual cup, ladies, do it! You can leave it in for 12 hours, no worry about getting TSS, more Earth friendly, and less toxic to your body than bleached and drying cotton. Pair it with a reusable pad and you're good to go. Put A Cup In It is an awesome resource and they even have a quiz to help figure out which cup you should try. I have the Lunette Cup and cut the stem off, which I love it. Not a sponsored post, just a cup lover. I'm going to buy a second one to keep at work in case I start there, though as of now I feel comfortable putting it in around the time I'm supposed to start because it's not drying/irritating like a tampon is if you haven't started yet.

Also, it's so awesome for workouts! I never worry about leaking and it's great for when I swim. A couple weeks ago I went on a seven hour hike up Humphrey's Peak (big group, took a lot of breaks) and was away from a bathroom close to 9 hours. I wasn't conceded about TSS, leaks on the heaviest day of my period, or finding a place to change a tampon. Totally awesome and a hike I would have cancelled previously if using tampons. I'd have missed this 12,633 foot view from the top of Arizona!

Two kids under three. Luckily not two under two.

2017-06-06T22:53:00.000-06:00

Most parents have 9 months to adjust to the idea of bringing another person into their home, but us? Two hours. TWO. We got a call at 1pm saying a baby needed a home and Little Dude was dropped off at 3pm without so much as a diaper. Luckily we had cloth diapers on hand. So now that we're two months into parenting two kids, I feel like we're doing pretty good.

The biggest thing I've struggled with is questioning myself about treating him like he's my own. There is an endless supply of love, but I wonder if I'm giving him the same amount of attention as Devin and I'm not sure if it's because I didn't give birth to him or if it's because he's a second child and they always seem to get the shit end of the stick? Like with Dev I didn't want to give her grains until a year old and didn't get a walker for her because they can be bad for development. But with Little Dude we dump a handful of Cheerios on the ground and let him crawl around to eat it, and I just bought a jumper last week so that I can have two seconds without chasing a baby to clean the house. (Though Dev claims the walker as her own...) I'm 99.9% sure that everything about my parenting towards him is because he's a second child, but I still question it!

I'm finally starting to feel okay going places with both kids. The second week we had him I took them both to the gym daycare which is a long walk through the parking lot and up a long, steep flight of stairs, and it was so awful. He was falling asleep so I brought him in the carseat and Devin had a meltdown and needed to be carried, plus I had my gym bag on. I for sure thought we'd fall down the stairs. Then after my workout Devin had another meltdown when she saw me and refused to walk or be strapped into her carseat and Little Dude was screaming because he pooped and needed food. I swore I'd never leave the house with them again. But alas, in the past week I've taken them to a concert downtown (my step sister was a finalist in a regional talent show) that was past their bedtime, to Target, and to the gym. And we survived!

Some things that have helped us get out: baby wearing (duh), baby wearing both of them (not ideal, but you gotta do what you gotta do), a carabiner for my keys, getting Little Dude into his seat fed and diapered before dealing with Devin, ignoring crying baby/toddler by turning the music up, using a backpack as a diaper bag, getting Devin excited to help me, e.g. "You would be such an awesome big girl if you feed Little Dude for a minute," and bribing Devin with chocolate and popcorn in the car. Parenting at it's finest.

Sleep has gotten much better. Norovirus finally pooped itself out so Little Dude just wakes at 1am and 4am, then 6am for the day. He was waking up a lot more than that so I did some sleep training and it helped a lot. Not totally cry it out, just fuss it out? Again, something I never did with Dev until she was like two, so is it because I'm not worried about him crying or because I'm so fucking tired? Pretty sure it's the latter because I'M SO FUCKING TIRED. It's just not sustainable to be up all the time and I'm pretty sure I'd have to do it with any subsequent children. His naps are all over the place, though. He has visits with his parents right around nap time and it throws him off for the whole day, and he often won't take his second nap on those days then goes to bed early then wakes early and that leads me back to so fucking tired.

Luckily everything is really helped by the fact that Dev is over most of her jealousy and just loves the Little Dude. She now understands that sometimes his needs have to come before hers and she isn't needing to be so involved to the point of it being difficult, like when she was insisting on putting him to bed with us. She still tries to be the boss of him though, as pictured below. Ha! They also both love being outside so it's perfect timing that summer is here and we can be in the sunshine for hours at a time most days. Having two kids definitely makes me get way more stir crazy staying in the house!

Overall, this has been quite the journey so far and we're happy to have a family of four for now!

7QT: New baby edition.

2017-05-16T15:24:00.002-06:00

7 Quick Takes

1. A month and a half ago we acquired a five month old little dude. I will not speak to how the acquisition of said child occurred on social media, but I felt the need to at least share such major and life-changing news. A BABY! We expect to have him for a while with the hopes that he'll be reunified with his parents.

2. The transition to two kids under three is huge. Evvvvvverthing is effected! Naps, diapers, feeds, bedtimes, sleeping arrangements, car seats, who holds who, babywearing jealousy, etc. Obviously adding another human into our home changes things, but we didn't realize quite how much of a change it would be.

3. Devin has also needed time to accept such a large transition. She was waayyyyy excited in the beginning, so much so that she insisted on changing his diapers, feeding him, putting him to bed and smothering him. Luckily she has calmed down and isn't quite so overbearing, but she still smothers him with love and is a little rough.

4. Devin started sleeping through the night (8pm-6am) two nights before we got him so it feels like salt to a wound now that we're back to every three hour wakings for diaper changes and feeds. I am trying a sleep training routine which has somewhat worked, but then he got norovirus and was pooping up a storm which put a halt to things because he would end up getting shit all over his bed and clothes, stinking up our room.

5. I am happy to have another baby to wear! I still have all my wraps/carriers and wear Devin, but not super often. Well I wear her often now because gets a little jealous of him.

6. Vince is the real MVP because he cares for both kids while I work nights, meaning he's practically solo parenting for three nights and days in a row. Devin was demanding enough, but add in another mouth to feed and butt to change and he's a little frazzled. I'll be switching to days soon which will allow me to break up my schedule, which hopefully will help.

7. Raising someone else's child is incredibly difficult, frustrating and sad, but also so rewarding. I'm glad we're able to give this guy a happy safe home while his parents figure out their lives, and glad that he can get the emotional attention he deserves at such a developmental age.

Today I Am...

2017-03-13T19:53:00.000-06:00

Today I am...

Reading: a few books: Looking for Alaska (didn't realize it was sad and my heart is broken!), Dissolving Illusions, and A Feast for Crows. I've been reading A Feast for Crows for a long time, but I keep taking breaks for other books. I don't know why I can't just finish the Game of Throne series already. I'm on goodreads if you wanna be frannnds. My goal for the year is 30 books and I've already finished 10 (with two more almost done) so I have high hopes to complete my goal.

Sipping: on jasmine green tea. So much sweeter tasting than regular green tea, but without being actually sweet!

Anticipating: getting wood floors. We'll be fixing our foundation in the next year or two which may requiring raising the house a bit, so we're just doing laminate floors for now to not risk messing hardwood floors up. We're getting dark five inch planks and I'm wayyyyy excited. The carpet in the living room is just so gross! It won't match the laminate that's already in the rest of the house, but oh well.

Listening: to audiobooks! I have a 20 minute drive to and from work, and I figured that would be a good way to pass the time. I am a visual learner so audiobooks are really difficult in the beginning, but once I'm able to get a grasp of what the book is about and the main characters, I'm good. Meaning the first hour of the book I'm just thinking, "This is so dumb. I don't understand any of this. WHO are they talking about? WHAT'S GOING ON??" But I keep persevering and I've been enjoying them. So far this year I've listened to The Messenger (ugh, as a Giver lover I had high hopes but this book was just terrible!), Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs (geared towards a generation 10 years older than me - not bad on audio but I would've stopped reading the book) and Rogue Lawyer (I love John Grisham, so it didn't disappoint). I'm about halfway through The Lost Gate and it is so enjoyable. I've also been listening to The Slow Home and The Minimalists podcasts.

Baking: a lot, actually! I've made some tasty gluten free biscuits and gravy (following the recipe on the side of the Bob's Redmill 1:1 replacement flour mix) and cornbread muffins - I don't include the butter and bake it for 20 minutes in 12 greased muffin tins then eat with honey butter. We've made the bread in our cast iron many times until we tried muffins, and they're just easier to keep moist and store. We went out to breakfast the other morning for the first time ever in town, maybe? Not many gluten free options here. I got blue corn pancakes that were AMAZING, so I had to make some yellow corn pancakes using this recipe. Vince and I agreed that these were a delicious pancake being so light and fluffy, and by far my favorite pancake recipe now. To make it gluten free, I used the above-mentioned flour replacement.

Post theme found on Camp Patton and kept alive by SK Bell.

Update!

2017-03-06T22:55:00.002-07:00

Ok. Once a month posting will be my new goal. That is probably doable. Maybe. Ugh, I'm the worst blogger!

Anyways, some updates. I'll start with the biggest:

// We bought a house! We were renting my grandparents house while they were on a mission in Mexico, and they came back earlier than expected. The rental market in our city is ridiculous, so it was cheaper to just buy a house. We lucked out and got a perfect perfect perfect A-frame cabin in the woods. It has needed a LOT of work and still needs a lot of work, but it's been great settling in and putting money into something that is ours. I have a lot of before and after pictures that I hope to post soon!

// I've been a nurse on my very own for about six months now. It has been awesome and way different than I expected nursing to be! I've already learned I don't want to be a floor nurse forever, but for now I am learning SO much and it's a good place to be. I ultimately want to be a nurse practitioner, so I'm accepting that I need to go back to school. Yes, I'm dying inside as I type that. Ha! But really, being a nurse is great and I really do love my career. I'm working three nights on, four nights off, which is working out for now. It's hard on Devin and Vince to have me sleeping during the day and out of bed at night, but the extra money is nice. I will switch to days as soon as I'm able, though. ;)

// Devin is TWO. That happened so fast. She is talking up a storm, being demanding as all get out, and learning so quickly. We started her at an in-home daycare for one full day and one half day a week, and it's been helpful. It's nice to have a day almost to myself to get stuff done while Vince also gets alone time skiing. The half day is on my sleeping day, so Vince gets a break. I plan on doing a full post on what Devin is up to, but for now I'm pretty good about keeping up to date on Instagram!

// Roxanne had a very rough 2016, but is having a better year already. In July, she started getting weak, wasn't able to walk, started having accidents in the house, and stopped eating/drinking. We took her to the vet and spent hundreds (er, thousands?) over a few weeks figuring out what was wrong with no luck. We gave her pain meds, antibiotics, everything! The vet finally said there was nothing more to do and thought it was a muscular issue and recommended we try doggy rehab. Roxi was slowly getting better so we put it off because life was crazy, but a couple months later she regressed again. I had to lift her off the ground because she couldn't stand herself up, could only walk a few feet, and was in so much pain she would snap if Devin got anywhere near her. It was terrible! This time we scheduled a rehab appointment that included acupuncture, laser therapy and a water treadmill. It wasn't cheap and I didn't know if it would help, but alas, it did! We started off going twice a week, then once a week, and are now down to every two weeks and about to switch to every three. She is getting back to her old self and can trot, jump around, and even go up and down stairs. She has absolutely no muscle, like I can feel all her ribs and spine, but we're slowly helping her build it back up. I don't know if she'll ever be back to normal, but she's at least happy and healthy again.

// Vince is a stay at home dad and has been doing courtesy patrol a couple times a week to get some skiing in, but plans on finding a job soonish now that Devin is going to daycare. Plus, he needs some adult interactions! He has been a saint with Devin and making sure I'm sane for work.

// I somehow can't think of anything else going on? I'm going to just post this instead of trying to think of something more.

Hello from the other side.

2016-09-23T14:48:00.000-06:00

Mic check, one two, one two...anyone out there? Can you hear me?

Well. This is embarrassing. It's been quite the journey since I last updated the bloggity blog, so here's a little one. Sorry for the picture reposts from Instagram, I'll try to be a little more original next time. Maybe I'll start posting more often since I actually have a life now that doesn't revolve around school.

As an update from my last post, I got a nursing job! As I suspected, it wasn't in the ICU as I desired, but on a medical-surgical floor. Honestly, it has been great and has far exceeded my expectations. I've already been able to shock a patient, push some scary cardiac drugs, and grow leaps and bounds as a nurse in a very short time. I have SO much to learn, but my experience has been wonderful so far. Also, I'm realizing that the part of this job I thought I was going to hate the most - small talk with families and patients - is actually one of my favorite parts. Some days it's hard being an introvert, but it's so nice to help their day be a little better and there are many ways to educate and share my knowledge, which is the best. I'm a teacher at heart, so it's perfect!

I still have two weeks of my new grad nurse residency program before I'm on my own as a nurse (!!! a real! live! nurse!), and will be switching to nights this weekend. I had two weeks of general orientation to the hospital, then a grueling, oh so grueling, five week class that was harder than all of nursing school combined as well as one 12 hour shift each week on my unit. It was a lot of education over a short amount of time and I was not expecting the class to be that hard or for there to be so much homework involved, so I'm glad it's done. I learned a lot and I'm so grateful to have done it, but holy shit. I am done done done with school for now. Then I had a month or so of working days with a preceptor, which I finished this week. Then end is near!

During that hard five week stretch, Devin got almost all her teeth and I started hating her jusssssst a little. She got six or seven (?) teeth during that time and she was just a beast throughout. She missed me, I missed her, she just wanted to nurse 24/7, and I'm a mean mom who wouldn't give her medicine even though everyone told me to constantly. But! We survived! And she just has a few teeth left to go. I am very glad that I'm still nursing her because I have no idea how we would have survived without it. What do other moms do?!

Another harrowing situation we just survived was hand, foot and mouth disease! I thought she had gotten a yeast rash or something, but then it moved from her thighs to all over and she didn't even have a rash in the diaper area. There were two nights that were easily the worst nights she's/we've ever had and I ended up having to sleep in her room so that Vince could have her in our room because I had to work the next morning. I woke up often to her screaming, because she didn't sleep either night. But again, we survived! Some of the blisters are peeling off still and her feet are gross, but she's back to being a happy clam and up to her old wildchild antics like climbing on tables and sneaking into the chicken coop.

Vince has been working one day a week and staying home with Devin, which I think has made all of this transition better. He's still trying to figure out what he wants to do when he "grows up", but for now we're all in a good place. I'm finally done with homework and all the extra stuff that goes along with learning, and we're all so ready to just relax and enjoy life. We've been able to do a lot of little activities we've always wanted to do like taking picnics, going to the park, going swimming, etc. Somehow all those things went to the wayside and we were only able to focus on surviving so it's nice to actually live now. I've worked so hard for the last five years to get to this point and I'm relieved to finally say, "I'm a nurse!"

7QT

2016-05-25T11:52:00.000-06:00

1) I find out this week if I got a job at the hospital! I feel like I'll at least get a job, but maybe not the unit I want. Honestly, I will be happy with anything because both have their pros and cons. I know starting med-surg will be incredibly helpful and will have a greater chance of working days, so it's really not a big deal if I don't start out ICU. Either way, I just want to know if I have a darn job.

2) Devin is teething and growing two inches every night, or so it seems, and because of that she is just wanting to be held and snuggled all day and all night.

When I put her to sleep she has to have her arm around me, even if it makes her uncomfortable. So sweet! But it also means that when I try to sneak out, she wakes up. After nursing her and snuggling with her a bit I've been having Vince come in and lay with her until she falls asleep after a few minutes, and it's worked well.

Which brings me to...

3) We're transitioning Devin to her own room! I'd be happy if she slept in our bed util she was 40, but it seems as if she wants to be alone. She'll sleep solidly until we come to bed, then she'll wake up every hour still wanting to nurse. Then we're all tired the next day. We've had her in her own room for this week, and so far it's gone well. Last night I slept with her for half the night because she had a rough day and just needed extra time with me, but other than that she's been fine alone and has woken up 2-3 times. Not bad, compared to before! So we'll see how it goes. If it doesn't work out, that's fine and I'll know it's not time, but for now lovvvvves the (coral, not pink!) room.

4) Devin is doing pretty good at her solo table. I do have to sit with her for each meal so she doesn't just wander off, but she really likes eating there. It's so fun to see what a big kid she is, getting on and off the chair, pushing herself back, etc. Mostly she wants to eat any and all meals outside, though.

5) Two of my close friends just had babies, and they are both SO beautiful and lovely. I can't wait to snuggle them! We're hoping to try for another kiddo at the end of the year, but until then, they'll be good substitutes.

6) Vince and I have switched over to shampoo bars and my goodness, they are amazing! So so amazing! I bought the three pack from Aquarian Bath on Etsy and got different ones (dry hair for Vince, greasy hair for me) and we both really like them. I did the recommended ACV rinse and I think it helped. My hair is so soft and bouncy, even Vince noticed it. The bars are also nice because they are really foamy/soapy feeling, which I didn't realize I missed with the organic shampoo I use that doesn't work well with my hair. Overall, great purchase.

7) Oh, and I graduated! No big deal. We had a BBQ at our house after and it was a nice way to celebrate and end the previous 5 years! Devin made sure to round up the hard cider cans the next day.

6th Annual Flats and Handwashing Challenge

2016-05-16T11:59:00.001-06:00

I hand washed my cloth diapers for the first 6 months because I didn't have a washer/dryer so you would think I've had enough hand washing experience for a lifetime, but apparently I haven't! So I am taking the flats and hand washing challenge again this year. That means I'll be using only flats, and hand washing all my diapers. Ok, so maybe the title is pretty self explanatory.

Cloth diapering is SO important to me, mostly because I get to avoid the crap in disposables, but also because it's economical and better for the environment. There is always the question of whether the water to wash them does more environmental damage, but have you ever looked into what it takes to make a sposie, then transport it, then travel to the store to buy it, then have it sit in a landfill forever? Clearly, I think there is a winner.

Another reason for doing this is knowing I can truly do what I want to do. I felt crazy when I first decided to cloth diapers, in full-time nursing school, while working, without a washer and dryer. Why would anyone choose to do that?! For me it was really important to sacrifice my time and energy now if it meant exposing Devin to less chemicals. It was the start to many sacrifices I'll make for her, and honestly one of the easiest things now.

Lastly, it's nice to know that in an emergency, I have the skills to do what I need to do! I know I won't need to go to the store in a snowstorm, I can hole up in our house if the world is going to shit, and I can have a clean baby even if we lose our jobs.

Tomorrow I will break down the cost of my diapers and explain why I decided to add the extra challenge of keeping my stash at $150!

Starting our seedlings.

2016-05-07T12:14:00.000-06:00

I learned so much from my gram growing up, like how to whip together a fast and filling meal, how to can in-season food, and how to do a job right the first time. Unfortunately (and fortunately) with gardening, it's a learning experience that is impossible to do right the first time! So in a way it is freeing to just try things out and see how it ends up.

We are starting our seeds way late this year, but hopefully it'll work out anyways. Last year the growing season went way longer than usual (thanks global warming!) so maybe that will happen again this year?

I was hoping to incorporate Devin into helping me, but as expected, her almost 15 month old brain was way more interested in eating dirt and crushing egg shells! So I let her do that while I planted everything.

I couldn't find some of my supplies so I'll be doing more starters in a few days, but we have about 60 for now. We have a really large garden area and I'm not expecting all the starters to survive so I'm doing a lot! Always the pessimist.

As part of my "learning experience", I'm trying some seeds in eggshells and cartons this year. They can be put directly into the soil when it's time to plant so the roots aren't disrupted. I was supposed to poke a hole in the bottom and forgot though, so we'll see how it ends up. I'll be doing another couple dozen in eggs, so hopefully I remember to do those right.

So far the starts are acorn squash, mini cantaloupe, sage, leeks, basil, hot peppers, and celery. I totally forgot about the cherry tomatoes, so I think I'll just buy the starters from the local nursery because there definitely won't be enough time. I can also just plant those now with some walls-o-water. I decided to be smart and kept a record of the planting order that I can now make into labels!

The rest I plan on planting directly into the ground soon include carrots, radishes, potatoes, zucchini, yellow squash, gold + green beans, kale, cilantro, cucumber, dill, and rosemary. I really want to can and dehydrate a bunch of stuff at the end of the season and dry a lot of herbs to use through winter because they are so easy to grow.

So that's it! Are you growing anything this summer?

Today I am...

2016-05-01T18:30:00.002-06:00

A blog? What's that?

Ok, but really. My track record for posting this year has been terrible. And the hardest part about getting back into blogging is feeling like I have to do an update on everything, which is just too much effort for me. So instead I'm going to act like I've been blogging three days a week for years and you know all the important details. I figure if I just start again, all the important things will come out eventually!

To ease into, I'm stealing a fill in the blank from Sara via Grace and showing you a picture of my 14 month old daughter who is not longer a baby but a walking talking human being.

Today I am…

Celebrating my first week of my new 24 hour a week position! It's still the same job I've had for almost three years now, but I'm actually budgeted hours instead of relief. I'll only be doing it for a couple months in the hopes of starting a nursing job in July, but it's awesome because Vince will have insurance and he gets to work less to stay home with Devin.

Reading Yes Please. And my gosh, it's so great! I just finished The Martian, which was just absolutely fantastic, and then read Binge after that, and it was also good. I've been on a reading kick am loving it.

Wishing I knew if I had a nursing job. The applying/hiring process can be soooooo long and drawn out!

Feeling like I'm never going back to school ever, ever. I have always said I'd get a Masters and now I'm like "If I have to do one more discussion post or format a reference in APA ONE MORE FUCKING TIME I'M GOING TO KILL SOMEONE." I'm sure that will change, but for now I'm so over it.

Wanderlusting over owning our own house with our own garden and our own farm animals. (Vince is content with chickens and only chickens, but we'll see.)

Eating an apple and raw milk.

Watching Nurse Jackie and Parenthood. Well I just finished Nurse Jackie and both Vince and I are like WHAT?! That's it?! And we just hate Jackie. But I love love love LOVE Zoe so much and wish she had a spinoff. I had started Parenthood and only got a few episodes in but have started it again at the recommendation of a friend and I just love it.

Anticipating dare I mention school one more time? You guysssss, I just can't wait to have free time and not worry about the homework I have to do.

Deciding nothing. I am not at a point in my life where I should be making decisions.

Sewing (Sara, look away, look away!) little baby carriers for Sara's kiddos....for Christmas. Oh my gosh I am the worst friend ever. I have had one done since before Christmas, and the other halfway done. Awful, I tell you, awful! But they are going to look so darn cute wearing their baby dolls/stuffed animals.

Year's End

2016-01-02T07:09:00.003-07:00

Yikes! 2015 went by incredibly fast and I think life from here on out will only go by faster.

Here's a little bullet-point year in review because I was a terrible blogger:

I gave birth to an amazing little girl (read part 1 and part 2 of the birth story), just a few days after my best friend gave birth to her little girl, in the middle of my second semester of nursing school.
I successfully juggled breastfeeding and pumping throughout the semester, as well as being a mostly loving wife to my helpful husband who stayed home with Devin.
I had a very long and fun summer with Devin at home. I feel like we did nothing but relax and play the whole summer, but I feel like that may just be selective memory. I realize I can't remember any specifics right now, so...
We moved into my grandparents house that we are renting while they are out of the country for a year and a half, and finally have space to live and breath in.
I completed my last real semester of nursing school and took my LAST final of my undergraduate degree, ending the semester with another 4.0.
I was vice president and then president of my college's Student Nurses' Association and feel very proud of what I accomplished for it and the improvements I made with my team.
I got my capstone placement in the Intensive Care Unit for my last semester in the spring, and am SO excited about it.
I got a guitar and am loving learning how to play.
Devin had her first Christmas, which was just magical and amazing even though we didn't set the tree up until after she went to bed on Christmas Eve!
I fell even more in love with my husband than I ever thought possible after seeing him as a papi.
I am a very boring person whose life revolves around Devin and school. Such exciting times.

This upcoming year is going to be awesome because:

Devin turns ONE in February. AllTheTears.
I will be a real nurse. Taking care of real patients. Whaaaaaaat?!
Vince and I will celebrate our five year wedding anniversary.
We will be out of all credit card debt and will start paying off school loans and starting a savings account for a little homestead.

I don't really have any goals for the New Year that are too thrilling. Save money, increase my workouts, explore our town with Devin, go on dates with my husband...just normal life goals!

I wish you all a happy and healthy New Year!

7QT

2015-11-08T22:02:00.003-07:00

I should just never say I'm going to post something soon, because I inevitably will jinx myself and that won't happen. Too much has happened over the past many months to catch up on, so I'll do a 7 Quick Takes post a la this blog and move on. I post daily on the 'gram, so head over there if you really want to keep up to date with me! (Or my baby, I know that's why you're all here.)

1) Devin is no longer a baby. She is a crawling, standing, clapping, eating, vocalizing little chunk of joy that is so insanely opinionated already, at almost 9 months old. That comes from the Powell side of my family, so it's a good thing her middle name is Powell.

2) I am in my second to last semester of school, and senioritis is reallllll. So. So. Real. This also happens to be the busiest semester of the program, so if you combine that with having a baby, being the Student Nurses' Association president, and moving, things are cray cray.

3) Speaking of moving, WE HAVE MOVED. Into a house 5 times the size of our itty bitty apartment. To say we are happy about it is an understatement! Devin has room to move, she has toys to play with now, Roxi has a yard, I have space to exercise in, and we have a giant garden. The house has already been more upkeep than I'm used to, but it's been good and we are less stressed. Oh, and the most exciting thing I almost forgot to mention - we have a washing machine and dryer! No more hand washing cloth diapers. I have no idea how I did it for so long.

(Don't worry, we have a gate up to block of the fireplace now!)
4) Related to the house - my grandparent's have gone on a mission to Mexico City for 18 months, and we are renting it from them. So while I am so excited about the house, it is also very bittersweet because we already miss them. They watched Devin on Monday's while I was in class, and she so loved being here with them! It will be sad that they'll miss so many fun times, but 18 months will go by pretty quickly and we have Skype.

5) I really feel like nothing else interesting is going on. Hmm. I took some fall pictures of Devin, and she is just the cutest ever.

6) I am still not able to eat dairy or eggs (and gluten, which neither of us can have) because of Devin's reaction through my breastmilk, but I've been able to add in almost everything else that I love! I have to restrict the amount of tomatoes, but overall she is handling things well. She likes to eat everything in the world as well. Update: I have been able to add small amounts of dairy back in! Hello, chai tea.

7) Reallllly struggling to think of a number 7. I have really been enjoying eating Justin's Chocolate Hazelnut Butter, I just got these leggings from Old Navy (in size tall!) and they are awesome, I won these pants and these pants in a Prana giveaway and love them (also in size tall!), wool diaper covers have been our new favorites, and this ketchup recipe made with our garden tomatoes was delicious!

Pumping for school or work soon after birth.

2015-08-23T23:20:00.000-06:00

Due to having Devin mid semester, I was only able to take two weeks off of school before I had to go back. Some people say it's terrible timing, but it actually wasn't as bad as I expected. She slept a lot (though she did nurse every hour around the clock for the first few months!) and I was able to nap with her, I was out of the house for 24 hours of the week so it wasn't full-time, I could come home at times during lunch to nurse her, and I was also able to have the entire summer off during her extremely fun months!

One thing that did cause me stress in the beginning was pumping. It wasn't that pumping was hard or difficult, I was just so worried about nipple confusion or her not wanting to nurse, thus ending our breastfeeding relationship. Aside from her being placed on my chest immediately after birth, breastfeeding was the thing I was most looking forward to and I didn't want to mess with it! Luckily, I had nothing to worry about as we had no problem and she still loves to nurse constantly, and will hopefully continue into toddlerhood.

When I was scouring the internet for advice on pumping really early, I found nothing. 'Early' to most people meant going back to work at 6 or 8 weeks. The advice would be to start pumping 4 weeks before going back to work, and to start bottle feeding two weeks before going back to get the baby used to a bottle. That would have meant I should have started pumping two week before I delivered, and started bottle feeding the day she was born! Obviously, that would be impossible and not ideal.

So here is a rough outline of what I did, in case you are one of the lucky few who has to go to school/work after a very short period of time and you want to continue breastfeeding.

Nurse on demand. Devin, like most babies, nursed for nutrition as well as comfort. For the first two weeks, we basically sat on a recliner with her attached to my boob about 90% of the day. She would nurse, and then taper off to little suckles while she slept. This signaled to my body to make more milk, and helped increase my supply. While at the hospital she would nurse for hours straight and all through the night, and even though it was really uncomfortable at times in the beginning, I just let her do her thing.

Do NOT use a pacifier. As I said, Devin liked to comfort nurse. Many moms choose to put a pacifier in for this, but I was adamant about no paci. One) it took away her ability to tell my body to make more milk, and two) it would likely mean that I would set her down to do something else, decreasing our physical contact, and decreasing my milk supply. We started her on a paci around 6 weeks because the comfort nursing was making her acid reflux worse by never allowing her food to digest, but we made sure breastfeeding was well established, I had a pumping routine in place, and I had a solid amount of milk.

Start pumping once your milk is in. My milk came in very quickly - while I was still in the hospital - and continued to increase in amount. Around day 7, once my milk was 'completely' in (it would continue to increase over the next many weeks, but it was changing from colostrum to regular milk), I started pumping a few times a day after Devin finished nursing. I was nervous at first, thinking I was 'stealing' the milk from her next feed, but really it just helped increase my milk supply after a couple days. I would get about a half ounce to start with, and it quickly increased to 1-2 ounces per pumping. I was trying to stock up enough milk for at least the first two days of school, in case I didn't end up pumping enough while I was away for a total of 16 hours. I was following the 'baby eats one ounce per hour' rule, so 16 ounces was my goal. I froze the milk in 1 ounce portions, since I assumed she would stick with her eating every hour routine even though I wasn't there.

Introduce a bottle. Three days before I was supposed to go to school, I had Vince try to give her a bottle. I heard good things about breastfeeding mothers using the Dr. Brown's bottles with a preemie sized nipple, so the baby still had to work hard to get the milk out. She kept refusing it with Vince and he was stressed out about it (he also got little amounts of sleep that first week!) so I ended up trying to feed her. I was still so distraught about how it could effect our breastfeeding relationship, so once she got a hang of the bottle and started eating, I cried! And then sobbed! It was awful to be the one feeding her from a bottle. Vince realized how upset I was and took over from there. I had him feed her one time for those three days while I pumped so they could both get used to it, and then I would nurse her immediately after as well so she wouldn't 'forget' how to nurse. I could definitely feel a difference in her latch, but after a minute or so she would correct herself and remember.

Relax. When I went back to school, I was able to pump more than enough for her. I was lucky enough to have Vince or my grandparents be home with Devin, so I was confident she was in good hands getting the love and attention she needed. Had I been stressed out about her situation, I'm sure it would have had an impact on my milk supply. She didn't have any issues with nipple confusion, and she would nurse even more when I was home because she missed the physical contact. We bed-share, which I think also has a huge part in our success because she had full access to my boobs, and I could get enough rest while still feeding her constantly. Every situation is different, though, so you'll have to see what works for you!

My next post will be pumping tips, so be sure to look for that.

Christmas in July.

2015-07-29T14:22:00.000-06:00

A friend let me go through some of her old baby clothes, and these Christmas pajamas were in the bin complete with Santa Claus feet. They were for 9-12 months, so I kept them since Devin will be about 10 months at Christmas. Turns out she fits in the now at 5 months, so Christmas in July it is!

7 Quick Takes - Devin

2015-07-24T15:51:00.001-06:00

1) Devin woke up at 4:30am (Friday) after being up every...half hour? Hour? And didn't fall asleep until 2. I am verrrrrry over it. So I am currently holding her in bed as she sleeps, willing myself not to readjust even though I'm uncomfortable and I have no feeling in my left arm.

2) Devin cannot handle strawberries in my diet and her poops have been some very strong evidence of that. Going from pooping once every few days to pooping 10-12 times a day has been rough on both of us. But the day after I cut out the strawberries, it reduced to 6 and is getting better! So is her poor red hiney.

3) She just gets more fun every day. (When you don't take into account her early wake up times...) She's becoming even more interactive, loves picking up and chewing on toys, making eye contact and smile. So much fun.

4) Being wrapped is her favorite thing ever still. If she's crying and she sees me pull it out, she stops and gets excited!

5) Cloth diapering is still going strong and we have yet to need a disposable. Hopefully we'll keep it up through next semester. (I have no doubt that we will. #clothforlife)

6) She loves her dad SO much. If he comes in after work when I'm trying to put her to sleep she'll immediately perk up and smile. Even if she hears his voice she looks around for him with a grin!

7) Vince and I often comment that any future children we have could never compare to her and that they'll all be little terrors because they can't live up to her perfection. Sorry, future littles!

Oh look, she just woke up again. Maybe our future babes will sleep better.

7 Quick Takes seen on Camp Patton!

Red Light Realizations

2015-07-06T19:30:00.001-06:00

I distinctly remember times where I've been stopped at a red light or a train, and I've looked over to see a woman in the driver's seat with a baby or two in the back. I've always thought, "Wow, I'm excited to be grown up like that someday and be a mom." Today, as I was stopped waiting for the train, a guy looked over into the car at me, then Devin in the backseat and I realized, I'm that mom now! Shit is crazy.

4th of July Weekend!

2015-07-04T17:46:00.001-06:00

This weekend was the best. No doubt about it!

In between getting in a good amount of hours at work, I spent a ton of time with family, some of which were in from out of town. After driving home from my grandparents Friday night with the fresh smell of a campfire on us, Vince said, "Hey, I had a lot of fun!" And I responded with, "Did I really just hear you say that after 7 hours spent with my family?" And he said, "SEVEN HOURS?!" Time flies by when you have good company. (This is not to imply my family is not fun, they totally are the best.)

My grandma felt compelled to give Devin a bath after I admitted I don't bathe her very often.

Saturday morning we went shooting where I killed it, seriously. I couldn't believe it. We did a competition where we had to hit 10 pieces of 4 inch 2x4s that were set up in a line, and you had two shots per wood. For a better time you had to kind of run between shots (the wood was far enough away to not stand in one spot) and I got the exact same time as my grandpa, and he got one more shot than me. Now I need to practice and beat him! I think this is beginners luck though since I haven't shot since I was like 12.

Her squished cheeks were too cute, I couldn't stop laughing.

After that, my dad, uncle, Vince and I went for a mountain bike ride while Devin napped with the rest of the fambam. Riding with friends is fun, but family is even better!

Vince is getting ready for the Bike Olympics this evening, Devin is sleeping naked with the fan directed on her because it's been so hot, and I'm ready for a nap myself with Roxi! It's weird to be in a quiet house after being around family and noises for hours.

Annnnnd then she was over it.

Added after I wrote the above: We ended up going to the Bike Olympics for a bit and hung out with one of our favorite ladies!

Surviving the first few weeks postpartum.

2015-07-01T16:13:00.000-06:00

I typed this up when I was a few weeks postpartum, and forgot to post it! So here it is. This applies to the first couple months after I had Devin.

Hospital cup

My friend told me to take it home and I hesitantly did, but it's THE BEST. Drinking from a straw and not having to open the lid of a waterbottle or tilt the water from a glass is so much easier with a baby in your arms.

Side table

I would move it around as needed! By the couch, the recliner, my bed, etc. Again, when you have a baby attached to your boob, it's hard to move around.

Swaddle blankets

I like the thicker small typical receiving ones when wrapping her during the day with her arms out, but love love love the aden + anais ones for doing a tight full body wrap at night. They really are worth their weight in gold, like everyone says. (Even though they cost quite a bit in gold...)

Finger snacks

Hardboiled eggs, nuts, dried fruit. It's really hard to cut a steak.

Coconut oil

I used lanolin approximately one time and didn't like that it had a smell, because I want her to associate the smell of my breasts with me and not lanolin. So I used refined (not smelly) coconut oil for my sore nipples and they felt better almost immediately. Within a week of starting nursing my boobs felt normal again and didn't crack. The old trick of rubbing breast milk also works great and that's all I need now, 3 weeks into breastfeeding!

Peri bottle

My sink happens to be right next to my toilet so I could easily fill the peri bottle I got from the hospital with fresh warm water to rinse with after I went to the bathroom. It's also nice to add a bit of witch hazel or lavender oil to help with healing.

Cloth pads with athletic shorts

I had a nice stockpile of regular pads from the hospital and from a friend, but after being home for two days I realized they are so uncomfortable and I always felt wet, which was gross. Isn't the point of a pad to wick away moisture?! Anyways, I was doing a lot of sitting while nursing and everything felt sore and the wetness didn't help. I kept thinking I just really wanted to wear underwear because it would feel good against my skin, and remembered cloth pads that I usually use for my period. Within hours of switching to a cloth pad my 'area' felt SO much better, drier, and less painful. So seriously, invest in them. I just rinse them in the sink after I use them and hang it on my drying rack, then when I have 4 or 5 dirty ones I soak them in the sink with a bit of oxyclean and Castile soap for a few hours. Then I just rinse them and hang them up and they look brand new again! I have about 10 that I cycle through. (I was usually about 5/day until 7 days postpartum, and at 2 1/2 weeks I used about 2 a day.) they also don't have the gross smell of disposable pads. Wearing tight shorts over my underwear made me feel more comfortable, like a pad wasn't about to fall out or something (even though my pads have a button to stay on) or leak somehow.

Netflix

Need I say more?

Boppy

Again, need I say more? I have a long torso so I still have to squeeze a blanket between her and the boppy but it's still nice to have.

Pampers/Huggies

We have a multitude of brands, most of them different eco friendly ones, but found Pampers is the best for newborn! Ha! The others just fit her weirdly, were really bulky, or didn't hold up well. She's in size 1 now and we prefer Huggies. The ones in the basket in a picture below are Honest Co and they are the only eco one that I sort of like, but they don't fit her as well. (And then we switched her to cloth diapers at 2 1/2 months.)

Solly Wrap

(The day I got it when she was a few weeks old, all tired and haggard.)

I could go on and on and on about how much I love this wrap. It is so easy to put on, light-weight unlike the Moby, and more importantly - Devin loves it. Worth waaaay more than its weight in gold.

Robe

It has been a comfort saver for sure! Throughout the last 3 months of my pregnancy I was looking for a soft, lightweight robe and never found one, until a few days before I gave birth. It's 3/4 sleeves and hits just below my waist, so I wear sweats with it. It is similar to this one on the Target website, but they don't have the one I bought anymore (the linked one is much longer, but the same light material). I wore it as a shirt in the hospital so I could easily breastfeed but look 'put together' when people visited, and pretty much wear it as a shirt when I'm home because it's so much easier to breastfeed in.

Diaper basket

We don't have a changing table set up (like I'm really going to use the space or get up and walk somewhere every time I need to change her!) so I have a small basket that I keep full of diapers, wipes and a burp cloth I use as a changing pad. I have about a dozen burp cloths and just get a new one as needed. Then I can move it to whatever room I'm in, and keep it on my bed at night since we cosleep with her. I also keep a little ziploc bag with DigestZen essential oil for her belly, grape seed oil to dilute it and for massage, and a little jar of coconut oil for diaper redness and her fat rolls on the neck or else they get red and smelly. (Babies can be gross.) I also have a little jar of diaper rash salve.

Salt lamp

This thingis perfect for the night! It has a dimmer that I keep on the lowest setting so I have a soft light for feedings and changing her during the night. It's dark enough to sleep with, but bright enough to see when I wake up.

Sound machine

I started using a sound machine many months ago per Grace's recommendation and it really helps because I can fall asleep almost immediately. (You'd think I'd be tired enough, but I have a wandering mind.) This will ultimately help Devin as well. I've noticed that as soon as I turn it on to get her ready for a nap her eyes start to get droopy.

Flats Challenge: Day 4

2015-05-14T22:09:00.002-06:00

(I'm participating in the Dirty Diaper Flats Challenge for the week! Read about Day 1, Day 2, Day 3.)
All the necessities to go out and about while cloth diapering:

Flats/Covers. Depending on where I am going and what I am doing determines how many flats I take, obviously! I am usually way over prepared though and bring more than I'd ever need. I like to have them pre-folded so that I can change her quickly.

Wipes. I keep the wipes in a Huggies wipes bag just because it's cute and handy, and keep a little spray bottle of wipes solution in it. Then I just spray as needed!

Dry Bag. This bag is awesome (and cheap!) and I put all my wet/dirty diapers straight into it in my diaper bag. If it's poopy, I'll roll the diaper into itself to keep it from spreading to everything else in the bag just so that cleanup is easier once I get home. The wet bag keeps the wet and stink in, which is nice! I can also just wash it with my diapers.

Prefold for changing on. I have the folded up changing pad that came with the bag, but I like having cloth instead because it's not cold and I can wash it much easier!

Diaper bag. Obviously I need something to haul this stuff around in.

Flats Challenge: Day 3

2015-05-13T15:47:00.000-06:00

(I'm participating in the Dirty Diaper Flats Challenge for the week! Read about Day 1 here, and Day 2 here.)

Last night was a rough one with a combination of Devin needing to nurse extra and her needing to poop but not being able to - the rough life of a three month old! I honestly didn't want to deal with putting a flat on her so I threw on a Bumgenius with a microfiber insert because I hadn't taken the time before bed to make a padded flat. I felt guilty for about half a second until I realized this challenge is about exploring new options and realizing that I can diaper with extremely basic resources, but it's also about making my cloth diaper experience better! So if I have to put on an easy BG at 2am, then so be it. I think I've made great progress, considering I wasn't even using cloth diapers a week ago and planned on using disposables at night!

I haven't used a disposable since Sunday and it feels great knowing I am doing good things for my baby, myself, and Mother Earth as a whole. There are so many comparisons in motherhood and I feel like many non-cloth diapering people think those that cloth diaper think they are better than others because of it, but much like delivering a baby medication free or breastfeeding, it goes way beyond that. I don't spend an extra hour of my day washing and folding things my daughter will take a poop in just so I can look down at a mom using disposables and say, "Neener, neener, I'm better than you because I touch my babies poop!" I do it because it feels right, it works with our lifestyle, and I have the privilege of taking the time to wash them, but that doesn't mean it's right for everyone. The awesome thing about parenting is that there is such a variety of right ways to do something and it all comes down to what makes you and your family happy!

Flats Challenge Day 2: My Stash

2015-05-12T16:29:00.002-06:00

(I'm participating in the Dirty Diaper Flats Challenge for the week! Read about Day 1 here.)

My entire stash isn't pictured, one grovia (left pile) is waiting to be washed, one is on her, and some flats are waiting to be washed as well. There are some liners waiting to be washed and some pre folded into the flats already. I clearly didn't go the gender neutral route completely... ;)

My stash is basic. Very basic. I am a poor nursing student with a husband that has cut back on his hours at work because of a work-related injury, so we've been pinching pennies. (Oddly enough, my reason for cloth diapering wasn't money based, rather wanting to stay away from the chemicals and waste of disposable and most importantly - I can't stand the smell of disposables! Ha!)
A couple years ago when we were trying to get pregnant originally, I bought some cloth diapers on Craigslist because the deal was too good to pass up. I split some of them with a friend, and ended up with 5 Bumgenius one size pocket diapers with 5 regular and 5 newborn inserts (that I'm not using for this challenge) for $35. They are in really great condition so it was a steal!

Last week I bought 6 Grovia 2-in-1's from a lady through a Facebook group for $55 with 12 inserts (soakers and organic cotton ones - again, not using the inserts for this challenge). She didn't take care of them very well and the organic cotton ones are not absorbent AT ALL, so I've been working on stripping and sunning those! (A little harder to do without a real washer, but doable.)

As far as flats, I have two 5-packs of Walmart brand flour towel sacks that I got for $10. I line them with microfleece that I bought as 1/4 yard remnants from JoAnn's for $.77, and made about 20 liners. They are so soft and nice on my daughter's tushie! When I have her in the Grovia inserts by themselves, her bum gets a little red, so the extra microfleece layer really does make a difference.

For wipes I cut up a receiving blanket which was a gift, and make my own wipe solution that is very inexpensive.

So far I've been using the Grovia covers over the flats, but tonight I plan on folding the flats to use as an insert in the BG pocket diapers. We'll see how that goes! It's nice to have a diaper I can just trap and put on her at night instead of having the wrap the flat on her, then do the cover.

And that's it! We live in less than 400 square feet (with a husband and dog) so I'm not going to be one of those people that has 50+ diapers and a million inserts. I like to keep things simple! I have three Fuzzibunz coming in the mail that I ordered from their 50% off Mother's Day sale and I'd eventually like to get up to 18 covers just so I can rotate through them and have them last longer, but for now I'm happy where I am. The next few diapers I add will just be plain waterproof covers, which the Grovias are doing a great job of now, so I'm in no rush. If I decide to use flats more often (which is likely, I'm already noticing how much easier they are to wash and dry) I'll probably just buy more of the flour sack towels from Walmart so I have 20 or 30 towels.

So all in all my entire stash has cost me $100.77 which it what I'd normally spend on one month of disposable diapers! Not too shabby.

Flats Challenge

2015-05-12T00:03:00.000-06:00

(I promise I will have 'real' posts up soon like her three month update (THREEEEE MONTHSSSS), but for now, something else to get me back in the blogging groove...)

Well, perfect timing. I've decided to use cloth diapers last week, came upon the simplicity of flats, and then realized there was a flats challenge starting today! It consists of only using flats and hand washing. So I am doing it.

I already hand wash my diapers (I've been using them for four days now) because I don't have a washer/dryer so it's not like this is a huge challenge for me, but whatever. It'll be a good challenge to try new folds and have an alternative to soaker pads at night!

I decided to try using flats because I read that they are easier to hand wash and dry super quickly, and also because they are dirt cheap. Cloth diapering can be REALLY expensive if you get carried away with it, but I want to do it as cheap as possible!

For those of you that have noooooo idea what I am talking about, here's a short explanation: the flats I am using are flour sack towels that are folded up with a microfleece liner to fit inside a waterproof cover. Literally towels straight from the kitchen department at Walmart for $1 a flat! There are many ways to fold up the flats depending on your babies shape/size. The benefit for me as a hand washer is that they don't take a million years to dry line my other inserts (up to 2 days!) so I don't have to have such a large stash of diapers (read: expensive) on hand while I wait for others to dry.

To wash my diapers, I have a WonderWash that I got a couple years ago to wash our regular clothes, and an electric spin dryer. I won't normally be using the spinner, but tonight I did end up using it to get water out because I was washing some soaker inserts from the day before, and I put WAY too much soap in that I just got today. I tried hand rinsing and wringing out the inserts but they just retained so much soap. So I threw everything into the spinner which got all the soapy water out, then rinsed again, and then I hand wrung the flats and diapers! But I did spin the soaker pads again or they would take like a week to dry. Tomorrow I'll only have flats to wash, though, so I'll be able to do everything by hand.

I'm over on instagram @iffyinklings if you want to follow along there!

2 months.

2015-04-14T18:05:00.000-06:00

Whaaaaaat, Devin can't be two months already! It makes my heart hurt. People always say time flies by when you're a parent and that you'll be surprised, but I'm not surprised. I knew going into it that time would fly by even faster, which almost makes it worse because I try and try to grasp onto things to slow them down. But alas, that is not possible.

2 days old

4 weeks.

So here we are, with a two month old baby that brings more joy than I ever thought possible. I believed everyone about time going faster, but I didn't believe everyone when they said it changes you in a way you can't even describe. I expected some change, but oh lord was I not prepared for what a positive light in my life this baby would be. She is amazing and her love makes everything in life so much less important. As Vince said, we'd rather have a glass of wine and watch her instead of TV!

1 week old

5 weeks
Devin started smiling a couple weeks ago and that send my heart SOARING. Like a kite flying 40 miles over the earth. It is so wonderful when she gives me a big smile, with her chunky cheeks almost closing her eyes because the smile is so big! Of course she smiled for Vince first. He keeps saying she loves me more now because of the whole boob thing, but I keep reminding him that when she's older, he will undoubtedly be her favorite. He plays with her in ways I would never think to do!

4 week appointment for my 'son'.

Last week.

At her two month check up that we had this past week (really 7 1/2 week checkup, but who's counting?) she had gained over 3 1/2 pounds since birth and was 10lbs2oz, and was in the 70th percentile for height at almost 23 inches! The nurse joked that momma was clearly feeding her well. That I am, all day and alllll night.

Hand conveniently hiding The Boob.

I've been avoiding putting away her newborn clothes that she hasn't fit in for a couple of weeks now. How is it possible that she's already way too big for them when it seems like we just brought her home in newborn clothes that were big on her?! That went by way too fast. There's some 3 month clothes that don't even fit her.

1 month. Those pec muscles have only gotten bigger.

Like 3 days old? She's gotten into a routine of falling asleep around 7:30ish swaddled up in her crib with the sound machine on, and sleeping until I bring her into bed with us around 10:30-11. That is the longest stretch she sleeps, and then continues to wake up every couple hours during the night to eat. People always comment about how it must suck to be up so much, but it really doesn't! Cosleeping makes it a million times easier since I can just side nurse and rest while she eats, or lay back propped up with a bunch of pillows. Plus, I love knowing that she is getting all the nourishment that she needs from me without having to wake up crying to summon me. I have no idea how moms get up to get their baby from a crib at night, feed them in a chair, burp them, put them back in the crib, then go to bed. No thanks!

I keep a little basket of supplies next to the bed to change her as well, so we never need to get out of bed. Super thankful we decided to splurge on a king sized bed instead of a queen. Our bed will be a family bed, indeed! (Her schedule was obviously thrown off when she got her vaccines, but hopefully we'll be back to the usual soon. Very very soon, please.)

6ish?

Devin loves being wrapped up when we go places, and I love it as well. I said many times during my pregnancy that I couldn't wait to wear her, and it is definitely one of my favorite things. It's so great to have her close to me and see her look out at our world while we're doing things, or snuggle close to my chest to doze off while I shop.

Soon after it arrived around 4 weeks.

Roxi has adjusted well and likes to snuggle up in bed with us all night long. I halfway hate it because she always lays directly on my legs, but I halfway love that she just wants to be close to us. Sometimes I get frustrated and kick her out of bed and she'll just stand at the end of the bed, wait until I've adjusted myself, then climb back up and find a spot! Sometimes I'll wake up and see that she has cuddled up next to Devin and is resting her head next to Devin's feet. Again, heart soaring to the moon.

Yesterday at 8 weeks old.

Her reflux is pretty much nonexistent now that I'm doing the Dr. Sear's Elimination Diet! (Again, until She got a vaccine with egg that made it worse.) We've been able to add back enough foods (I'm up to maybe 20 foods I can eat?) that I can maybe branch away from eating the same thing for every meal, which is nice. She is still spitting up some, but I consider it normal baby spit up. No projectile spit up, no painful cries with it, etc. Her hiccups aren't as often which is really good since they keep her awake, but she has them every day still.

7ish weeks

Overall, I feel like everything has gone smoothly. I know we're only 8 weeks into this whole parenting thing, but we're both pretty confident that we're capable of raising an awesome little girl!

Weeks 1-8 left to right, top to bottom.