If You Ask Me

The Bee's Edit - Bubble Bath Love - Weak and Ineffectual - Smoothieoo Daddieoo Jazz

2012-02-26T20:14:00.000-04:00

"I'm putting the finishing touches on the year end announcement......"theres no hope for the planet earth, theres no way to stop the asteroid and you're all gonna die, everyone except for me....I'm a disgusting human being and I apologize to the people I've hurt and peed on.....I'm on a role, but I don't care cause the worlds gonna end any day now......If you knew just one of the things I've been sworn to secrecy to, you'd buckle under the goddamn pressure!"

The Player Hater Ball

....you will most certainly one day be so very old wandering aimlessly mentally exhausted, limp dicked ineffectual and on your way out.......and yet there will most certainly always be yellow and black and good Jazz.....let it play, smoothieoo daddieooo......tell'em all I sent you before you knew any better and how to handle the g's on the way out.......it's funny how life works like that, no one ever reads the manual..........

theElf (yes all me)

Let's Go Everywhere

When you're tired of your toys,

And of your games, and of the television,

When you're done with chores and homework

Then it's time to make a big decision,

You might need a change of scenery,

It might be time to go

Over mountains, over oceans,

Through dark jungles down below

On an airplane, on a railroad

On a tall ship with the tide

All you need's a little music.

Howzaboutit, whaddya say you buckle

up and we go for a little ride?

Let's go everywhere man

Let's go everywhere, man

There's lots of fun out there, man

We gotta have our share, man

Get out of your chair, man

Let's go everywhere.

We'll go to

Bombay, Taipei, Mandalay, Bora Bora

Deauville, Louisville, Whoville, Glocca Morra

Havana, Montana, Savannah, Varanasi

Bermuda, Barbuda, Or Yehuda, Tallahassee

Khartoum, Rangoon, Cancun, Saskatoon

Kowloon, Cameroon, Brigadoon, to the moon

Let's go everywhere man

Let's go everywhere, man

There's lots of fun out there, man

We gotta have our share, man

Get out of your chair, man

Let's go everywhere.

Cairo, Shiloh, Moscow, Chichen Itza

Krakatoa, Shenandoah, Mauna Loa, Tower of Pisa

Hamburg, Frankfurt, Beantown, Montecristo

Cayenne, Salt Lake, Cocoa Beach, San Francisco

Saigon, Amman, Dijon, Yokahama

Tijuana, Grand Bahama, don't forget to call your mama

Let's go everywhere man

Let's go everywhere, man

There's lots of fun out there, man

We gotta have our share, man

Get out of your chair, man

Let's go everywhere.

Xi'an, San Juan, Pusan, Sri Lanka

Chambertin, Canton, Avalon, Casablanca

Warsaw, Aqaba, Shangri-La, Transylvania

Nome, Rome, Stockholm, Lyon, Mauretania

Hong Kong, Guangdong, Haiphong, Tonga

Salamanga, Rarotonga, Cucamonga, sing-a-long-a

Let's go everywhere man

Let's go everywhere, man

There's lots of fun out there, man

We gotta have our share, man

Get out of your chair, man

Let's go everywhere.

Xanadu, Kathmandu, Timbuktu, Santiago

Tasmania, Slovenia, Rumania, Pago Pago

Sedona, Pamplona, Daytona, Patagonia

Winona, Bologna, Barcelona, Caledonia

Bangkok, Sliding Rock, Antioch, Tuba City

Sun City, Cloud City, Emerald City, ain't it pretty

Let's go everywhere man

Let's go everywhere, man

There's lots of fun out there, man

We gotta have our share, man

Get out of your chair, man

Let's go everywhere.

theElf

F.X. Leach - Postcards From San Sombrero - A Land of Carnivals Cocktails Coups and No Extradition Treaties

2012-02-21T23:01:00.001-04:00

What's your name?

Let's keep that a secret.

But I don't even know it.

Then you'll keep it even better.

"Political instability has seen 17 different presidents take power in the past decade, the shortest reign being that of Alivio Escrevez who was assassinated halfways through his own inauguration speech."

San Sombrero

Who takes the cold mountain road

takes a road that never ends

the rivers are long and piled with rocks

the stream are wide and choked with grass

it's not the rain that makes the moss slick

and it's not the wind that makes the pines moan

who can get past the tangles of the world

and sit with me in the clouds

Finally, Motherfuckers!

theElf

I See Not Much Hope - But That's Not The Way To Think

2012-02-15T23:52:00.004-04:00

"Why did she have to happen? Just when I was doing so good without her...."

I have read ten thousand books

and plumbed the truths beneath the sky

those who know know themselves

no one trusts a fool

how rare the idle man of Tao

up there three miles high

he alone has found the source

and thinks of going nowhere else

Cold Mountain

theElf

Chasing The Bubble - The Second Time Just Wouldn't Be The Same - It's Always The Way

2012-02-11T15:36:00.001-04:00

"I don't know why the sacrifice didn't work. The science was so solid. "

I want to go up to detroit

I want to lie in the shade

I want to visit the president

And then I want to get laid

I want to go down to memphis

I want to talk to the king

I want to tell him we're sorry

And it won't happen again

I've got a photo of james joyce

It's a photo by Man Ray

It's not very very much like him

But it's not for me to say

OMD

theElf

I Hate To Send Bad News - There Are No Answers Only Choices - Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark

2012-02-08T20:47:00.000-04:00

"Mutability is the epitaph of worlds

Change alone is changeless

People drop out of the history of a life as of a land

though their work or their influence remains.”

The Manchester Man, the 1876 novel by Isabella Varley Banks, who wrote as G Linnaeus Banks.

As way invariably leads on to way we no longer stop to recognize the blue and white above, it's as fleeting as this life we cling to......but really none of that matters tonight as I warm myself with zen fire still with the naturalness of my ancient Masters.

I'm no vulgar fellow who scatters ideals to the wind and behaves as he pleases for this would in itself be an affectation. I've learned that the naturalness of zen flourishes only when one has lost affectedness and self-consciousness of every description......but a spirit of this kind comes and goes like the wind, and is the most impossible thing to institutionalize and perserve....I'm in a conflict I don't really enjoy being the emperors dirty mud turtle kept delicately on velvet and glass...

There is no coming and there really is no going....not a tile above my head or a piece of ground beneath my feet.....

theElf

The Rebuilding Process - The Very Best Pheromone Cologne - It's Time To Raise Morale

2012-02-02T00:11:00.000-04:00

"You receive a love letter from me, and you're fucked forever!"

The best way to get a new team on your side is to trash the last team you played for. Talk $#!& about how their fans sucked and their women have pancake titties. And if that doesn't work, then just like prison, you pick the biggest baddest dude on the team, and you kick him in his %#&%!&& teeth.

Kenny Powers

All you need is your brain, your dick and the tubes....I'm lubing the deals and doing what the other pussies are too afraid to even dream of ......but every organisation needs their gun runners, because sometimes you can't be seen associating with the wrong kinda scum bags. I don't worry about those details, I get paid by the pound one way or another whatever the side of the coin we need to be on.

That's right I'm turning shit and working with HR to improve morale.....and It's important not to smell like shit when your in the shit. It's true that many have asked why did I do it......all the personal sacrifice in signing up for another tour when you could be living the life of a functioning derelict playing the back nine and enjoying a random public beach speedo boner. Well the answer is simple dickheads, I'm living the merry fuck mocha mint dream, buried in shit up to my eyebrows with my snorkel, and the only break is piss breaks! The truth is I'm a rare breed, this daily fucking jungle hairy craziness 7 by 24 every day is what feeds the hybrid wharf sewer rat in me! Like the Vietcong, I'm dug in deep.......

What you gotta do is fall back, superior fire power, superior intelligence......and that's all she wrote!

He blesses the boys as they stand in line

The smell of gun grease and the bayonets they shine

He's there to help them all that he can

To make them feel wanted he's a good holy man

Sky pilot.....sky pilot

How high can you fly

You'll never, never, never reach the sky

He smiles at the young soldiers

Tells them its all right

He knows of their fear in the forthcoming fight

Soon there'll be blood and many will die

Mothers and fathers back home they will cry

theElf

Dialectic Physics Aphrodisiacs - No Shirt No Shoes - And I Still Get Service

2012-01-22T16:24:00.001-04:00

"One through nine, no maybes, no supposes, no fractions. You can't travel in space, you can't go out into space, you know, without, like, you know, uh, with fractions - what are you going to land on - one-quarter, three-eighths? What are you going to do when you go from here to Venus or something? That's dialectic physics."

Dennis Hopper

I was mussing about the other day, consider the crystal formations of the hard pack and yet again communing with Del in the velvet star lite chamber, confessing that I'm not going to be able to stop the meteorite....where would we be without each other we say? I was invited to plush office space overlooking the harbour with heated indoor parking, so I had to go. Yes, brought together for warm discussions pertaining to the all important trivial matters, cold beer and best of all only two buildings away from ground zero.......I've always wanted to take the time and write about the uniqueness of something that is challenging to translate into words, perhaps the impossible.......as challenging for the mind to comprehend as how one lands the rocket ship on mathematical fractions in low gravity space.....You need to know shit!

You see I've discovered as others have before me that some places are more than merely four walls. In a way they reach for the pin holes in the black blanket of our nights, and permeate out beyond the cold stone their energy as presence of character, connected strongly to the great wheel by the unknown dark matter of uniqueness. In ways the longer a space exists the potential for blossoms to appear,.....but like a planet forming, it's not really all that important, take it to another level and bump it up a notch, and where we go we might never come back unchanged......because you see it, you feel it and it changes you for it was waiting for you to come through the door......It's always been there, out there waiting for me to enter.

......and like I've always understood inherently.....the ways of Tao, the underlying natural order of all things is connected to everything, but only can be visualized as a black void at the center of a ring from which as I suspected everything gets a chance to dance with one way or another. The random vistor off the bus only sees the nothingness........It's eternally nameless and in the those moments, the slow sway of the tree in the breeze the gentle laugh of the child and the warmth of all those stars shining down on you from every angle.....In one brief flash of your life if your lucky, you'll see it and know what I'm talking about......and this is important......no matter how hard you try you don't find it......it finds you.

theElf

Barry and Jerry - My Poison Tree Frogs From Brazil - The Bedtime Stories

2012-01-16T23:58:00.000-04:00

....I said to a little girl late one night, "don't be sad or afraid, I'll tell you a bedtime story about Barry and Jerry my old and truly wise poison tree frogs, you shouldn't be afraid of them, because they are only trying to be real just like you and me....and she never did forget that....

theElf

The Skin Horse had lived longer in the nursery than any of the others. He was so old that his brown coat was bald in patches and showed the seams underneath, and most of the hairs in his tail had been pulled out to string bead necklaces. He was wise, for he had seen a long succession of mechanical toys arrive to boast and swagger, and by-and-by break their mainsprings and pass away, and he knew that they were only toys, and would never turn into anything else. For nursery magic is very strange and wonderful, and only those playthings that are old and wise and experienced like the Skin Horse understand all about it.

"What is REAL?" asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room. "Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?"

"Real isn't how you are made," said the Skin Horse. "It's a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real."

"Does it hurt?" asked the Rabbit.

"Sometimes," said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. "When you are Real you don't mind being hurt."

"Does it happen all at once, like being wound up," he asked, "or bit by bit?"

"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse.

"You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

"I suppose you are real?" said the Rabbit. And then he wished he had not said it, for he thought the Skin Horse might be sensitive.

But the Skin Horse only smiled.

theElf

My Kobayashi Maru Tale - Promises To Keep and Miles of Remixes To Go - I Don't Believe In The No Win Scenario

2012-01-07T20:19:00.001-04:00

A little suffering is good for the soul.

--CAPTAIN KIRK

..... someone once said, that by stepping outside the rules of the game you can redefine the game...I feel like I need my favorite toy soap on the rope and a long hot shower.....

I cannot for obvious reasons discuss what all this means here tonight, perhaps a time will come when I will still want to talk dirty about the trials and tribulations and all the herculean feats but not tonight ladies, except to say that in my wildest of wildest imagination I could never have foreseen the cataclysm of events that were required to unfold at precisely timed moments in order to save and win the Kobayashi Maru selection endurance and mental fortitude test. The unbelieving types might consider taking up the white collar, especially if I were to go into precise details tonight, but I'm not like that and a certain element of mystery is more than welcome within these here lines........However, I have to wonder if the bookies would have given better odds in finding life elsewhere in the universe within the next 3 million years with an improved telescope?

All this talk does raise a certain question tonight. Do things in this life happen by mere chance or do things happen because a person has set up the right conditions for success? I have to say that personally, I believe that the sum of the total involves the following; a big dash of the dirty lady luck, another dash of the right place right time, a pinch of ability and a red phone with a hotline to a strong support network of crooked campaign financiers....... all in order that the white rabbit could be pulled out the hat for the captivated audience....Copperfield would have been asking the hard questions....

It's a strange animal to have desired something for so long, and then to finally have it in the palm of your hands all greasy and slivering on the silver platter. Then suddenly without a moment to savour your chess victory over the computer AI your hit squarely between the eyes with a menacing creeping burden that it's all resting on you now, it's all on your jive turkey neck for this whole god damn deal, right down to the towel service out back and hand moisturizers......no 50/50 or asking the audience not even a call to a friend......the ship has dumped you off in the New World and in all probability you'll never see those bright tulip blooms in Amsterdam again....you look in the mirror and straighten the tanktop, refreshen your pucker ass chap stick, and already your feverishly shaking and desperately asking the Magic 8 Ball that sits next to the prized fake bronzed yoga frog.....Question....'did my Fairy Godmother stop at the correct address on her girls night out bender or has the stork been drinking again?".....Response.....Ask Again!

Remember this......when you don't want something your the perfect fit, and of course you'll do a excellent job, because your dangerous and prepared to make the hard calls and go down with the ship baby!

theElf

Confession - Dalis Tiger Fish Haunt My Dreams - Light Beams Dust and Tears - Help Me Make It Through The Night Mr.Humperdinck

2012-01-07T03:21:00.000-04:00

Mr.Lahey: You feel that Randy?

Randy: What, Mr.Lahey?

Mr.Lahey: The way the shit clings to the air.

Randy: What Mr.Lahey?

Mr.Lahey: Randy m'boy, it's already started.

Randy: What's started, Mr.Lahey?

Mr.Lahey: The Shit Blizzard.

….you know Maria, I sometimes wonder if we will ever discover the meaning of it all working in a place like this…...

Monty Python - The Meaning of Life

This is the haunting period.......the time when the demons of regret come for you..... I've always in a way been a painter a creator of images, and like many artist's before me the female form has always been a great source of inspiration. I've always been held in awe in the unknowing power they posses...

When I looked for her, I didn't just see her, but I felt her....I wanted to freeze time, to savor that moment of long ago, to live in that moment for a week, but I couldn't stop time I could only slow it, and before I knew it she would be gone.......and after that car door closed, I felt like the last person on earth.........I lay here tonight, and I think about that twinkle of dust in those first morning light beams as I lay next to her embracing her warm essence, and I watch forever the cosmic dance of dust in that special imaginary light that I'll perhaps never get out of my memories...."Like sea beams glittering in the dark....I've seen things you people wouldn't believe....and now all those moments will be lost like tears in rain........."

Dreams are like angles they tend to keep time at bay......You can speed it up, you can slow it down, you can even freeze a moment, but you can't rewind time, you can't undue what is done like a song mix in the studio.....

theElf

The World Used To Be A Bigger Place - Be Back Soon - Have A Little Faith

2012-01-04T00:56:00.000-04:00

““Maybe there is no Heaven. Or maybe this is all pure gibberish—a product of the demented imagination of a lazy drunken hillbilly with a heart full of hate who has found a way to live out where the real winds blow—to sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whisky, and drive fast on empty streets with nothing in mind except falling in love and not getting arrested . . . Res ipsa loquitur. Let the good times roll.”

.....it's too early to tell, but I'm not completely used up and near the end as originally the massage therapists warned. I told the greasy towel wearing team that the hot rock neurons refuse to stop firing, and are unwilling to repent before their eventual destruction at the hands of mere gravity. I warned them upstairs don't bother betting on grace or solace to solve the calamity of the day. I'm no black collar wearing worker out back working for the other side......I'm hip deep in, wading out further in this muck and uncertain of any middle ground. No one gets to the other side without wanting to get to the other side, perhaps the black cloth has been giving some the wrong idea about my confessional like attributes......for you and only you I'll hear your worst and dirtiest and never utter a word or consider passing judgement. It's the way I'm best suited to help.....

These days I prefer to rise as late as possible, stay up as late as possible....and do the same thing everyday for as long as possible on an somewhat isolated icy hill, it's what I've come to enjoy in this life......I'm normally running the daily treadmill that prevents any latitude in ones movements. The taste of freedom for a few short weeks is highly intoxicating. If I stop to ponder the taste of the pollen I might never make it back to the hive......It's interesting what time and age mellowing gives back to you as the body falls apart around you.......I've become uniquely attuned to my terrariums requirements, and less focused on what happens beyond oxygen levels.......I have this hard won realization that if you hang around long enough you intuitively know that bad things have always been coming and always will be coming. I expect no extension of the 50/50 lifeline or why bother calling a friend, everyones in worse shape than asking the audience.........

I'm okay, because I still feel like writing the love letters........and letting it all go, down and out the tube. Seeing what Is......and like a barrel of water I'm ready to leak in any and all directions.......

theElf

We May Need More - I Wanna Leave Some Ukuleles Here - You Never Know When We Might Need Them

2011-11-13T04:52:00.000-04:00

"This is my most special place in all the world, Ray. Once a place touches you like this, the wind never blows so cold again. You feel for it, like it was your child."

Dr. Archibald Graham

I'm starting to write once again after loosing my entire article in one swipe of a misplaced finger gesture, and like that, she was long gone. I was about to walk, open the trunk of ukuleles and go for a walk in the wood it made more sense.....but no there was something to be retained from this sudden loss of words, time and words I thought clung with sinew of meaning. This is the way she works I muttered to myself, "nothing is permanent, nothing should be grasped is of paramount importance......one must let it all go and believe the second draft will glitter with excellence." Yes, even the last dying spider out back who lives in over the rock garden knows all about these matters....I'm told when you don't want anything in your web, you don't have a problem.....

Why bother in this toil when the ukulele pulls my four string and the sun lays it's warm hand upon my cheek. I'm not certain, but I can tell you this today, that the answer is not in the long way or the instant coffee way.....There it was in the disappearance of my ukulele article...effort is overrated, but when you do what you do with no effort and the words flow and then the diamond keys sparkle with glee on an endless horizon......you win.....the middle....above and beyond extremes is the way to x marks the spot.

"To him or she that hath shall be given......" You can only get the box of ukeleles when you discover that you don't need the ukulele. You can only get the ukulele when you don't want it. I came upon by accident and learned not to want a ukulele, not to go after the ukulele.....life is odd in that way, and when you finally renounce and let go of wanting a ukulele, it comes back to you in a great down pouring.....you are plentiful and that is why I leave you with these ukuleles, because you never know when we might need more of them...especially if your wrist is hurting.

theElf

The Cobalt Blues and The Gold Tooth - The Passion of The Longboard - Slippery Buttery Love

2011-10-05T01:03:00.000-03:00

"Everything is determined, the beginning as well as the end, by forces over which we have no control. It is determined for the insect, as well as for the star. Human beings, vegetables, or cosmic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible piper,,,,,It's all fun and games until someone gets fired.." light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul......perhaps that is all that matters at the top of the field stone wall adjacent to the mature red oak that stands guard over all of my wondrous domain. In the soft cool shade, alone at the peak of summer in this diffused light I drift with the sudden ease of a leaf lost before it's time on the cool babbling stream. The dragonflies perform another private dance, and I drift on and on watching the clouds change shape against the cobalt blues......I'm fulfilled in these memories of the season, and with much to say, but less interest to say it. You see it when the top of the high height has been attained you realize there was nothing to attain and plenty of vacancy. I wouldn't suggest a mid life peak has been reached by any stretch, but things are a changing and rapidly. It seems you wake one day and you realize that time is a dwindling commodity that cannot be focused on in tangible ways, it must be spent without care and nothing should be left off the grocery list. The mind opens to a forgotten youth, and missed opportunities that must be seized before fall landscapes force friendships. In fact no time like the present, you see I'm secretly desperate to be with snow and back on the board, but as it is with fate and chance my wish was heard......The longboard found me and this is my quote....."if you have mastered the board on snow then like magical linguistics your a dirty bone rat on the longboard......just like that you were born playing the electric keyboard with a gold tooth....." So, I'm back as the cool air flows through my shaved locks and leaf color is strong and pure, at ease in that comfortable track of flow, which I've been missing for months.....In the asphalt lots and moderate inclines I lurk with my Arbor eco friendly sustainable attained Koa topped longboard, flying without a single thought or even a care in this simple zen like rocker....alive and once again living the dream of a water rat always ready and waiting for his next set! theElf

The Magic Moment - Blink If You Dare - Wax On Wax Off - The Zazen Island Retreat

2011-09-04T04:15:00.008-03:00

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?

Charles M. Schulz

The season of cool mountain breezes has returned and weakened the foliage, but we should not fear the coming rainbows or look for the lost sheep. The way home is long and the mist lined hills will always beckon, speaking of things that make no sense. The more you allow yourself to drift and see the way things are the greater the chance you will really see it all in it's suchness....Please let's ride and talk of these trivial tribal little things....

I could ramble on here tonight for hours, but it would only confuse and offer no means of understanding. However, I must force from myself this explanation.....there are times when the mind is clear and free of worry, all ease and no pulse....In these moments you have the best chance to see the elusive magic moment. A place or zone of brief clarity where time is of little importance and motion appears to slow like a long car crash. It's the little things, it's all there waving back to you, as if speaking to your eyes through a different spectrum. The bright wild flowers waving back and forth in the sea breezes, and there you are, and then you see it, as if it was heard, but never said.

I move alone in the same effortless motion and watch these beautiful things speak to me, and what is the meaning of all this you ask? It has no meaning, it's not anything other than a brief connection with the infinite, a place where you and I don't matter. This is the place where time falls away, and if we are lucky we will forget all that we have attached our clinging finger to in fear. It's okay, let go and drift with these afternoon delights, become porous and let yourself roam, it's okay. In the clearing you and the wild flowers watch the jumping deer spring you free......and as the warm light fills you, and you breath deeply you see that there is nothing else, nothing!

theElf

I Am Useless Without My Sintered Base - I Feel Bad For You Kid - This Place Is Gonna Kill You - Whatever Comes Together Comes Apart

2011-08-04T05:17:00.002-03:00

"There simply nothing to which we can attach ourselves, no matter how hard we try. In time, things will change and the conditions that produced our current desires will be gone. Why then cling to them now?........However, without me, my board is useless. Without my board, I am useless!"

theElf

Career Advice from Alan Watts

After 2 weeks of mindful sitting, mindful walking, and mindful looking, a deep vision of reality arose and the final destination of finally being there emerged, enjoying life in the present moment, liberation from all the impulses. I have come home to real deal which some would call happiness because Vermont and the Burton Board sale! I no longer seek my lost cows, and don't fret at the sight of my board in August!.....The crop may be lost, but I'm okay as the sex wax keeps me sane and the Custom Flying V is coming home once and for all. I have released all the cows and have finally entered the marketplace with open hands in awe. I'll go mental waiting for snow to fall somewhere.......

I was reading recently how Master Nhat Dinh had asked the King for permission to retire from being the abbot of a national temple, so he could live in a mountain hut and take care of his aging mother. Many offers were made and the Master was begged to found another temple, but yet he preferred to live simply, in great peace and joy doing as he pleased without going against the precepts. To be only yourself is a powerful truth....and the longing to return to the mountain hut is intense, but like a good yoga burn....this too shall all pass young grasshopper.....alone with the mountain, everything is connected, turn the wheel and flow.....

What Am I Doing? Ask yourself this often, reflect deeply on the question. When you are really there, and doing things in pure mindfulness, you will be happy and a resource for many others......That is why I am ready.......to be alive with the real hardwood is almost enough.....and so like a wave on the sea, I find I'm no longer lost searching for meaning, it's in everything that I encompass and touch.

She's Into Black Guys - (it'll be on the annual)

theElf

Is There A Time?- The Backpacked Titanium Jumpy Monkey Thermos - One Last Sip With The Old Bonzi Mountain Pine - A Recovery Day Memoir with Pavoritti

2011-07-31T05:58:00.036-03:00

"Satori is the letting go and not the feeling of it.......everything one is left free to do and to see and feel when the cramp in the mind has been released. The way is many and you will not require any books once you have decided to give up.....One seeks and seeks, but cannot find. One then gives up, and the answer comes!"

from the book I No Longer have to keep

Is there anything more blissful than the backcountry whitewash, craggy bonzi mountain pines and adrift in the low gravity space suit in powder motion silence. In the isolation chamber cut off from the tiring muddy tribe found at lower elevations. If I have learned anything, it's that currency is nothing but processed cotton...totally meaningless rubbish. However, it's the Satori that can be bought on the open market, especially if you happen to know what your doing and where your going. Do something that requires the letting go and lots and lots of cotton currency, and if done properly and little effort the great vacuum of satori will flow within, and choke out all those marginal ingrained fleeting assumptions.

Surfing - Megapuss

Megapuss - Surfing from diewo wha on Vimeo.

I prefer my christmas trees and tea stops to be on the run and to be always facing mecca, as the cold shapes rise and fall with the flow of my sex waxed plank, it greases my flow through this life to a point of effortlessness and why not?..... I'm greasing this one all the way baby! The path once carved is without meaning and purpose, and whatever it is will never be travelled exactly at the same angle or pitch is a heady subject. I might happen the chance to reflect upon this subject beneath an older than old mountain pine. A pine that has the white patean of a true zen master. It's true that trees make the very best zen masters, especially one that has seen the likes of me come and go on past without ever the slightest acknowledgement. I on the other hand always stop, as it's my way, my custom, my religion to pay proper homage and sit for a spell in the stillness, alone in the cutting crystal sting of fresh morning light on this high mountain slope.

Danubian Breeze - Budapest Monkeys

Free music - Danubian Breeze

It's true that some prefer the race to the base, not me I like to poke about go wandering and meandering in this place, before one must pull the ripcord, just a vistor on a day pass is all. The air is different, the light is brighter and everything all tends to make sense up here, as I crack the titanium tea flask and pour the happy kombucha gold. In those satori filled moments money makes sense, and even that old pine gives me one last wink, and reminds me that he was also once like me, a beautiful christmas tree who no longer worries about being cut down for the kids, because he knows that what might come next beyond the edge is really nothing worth worrying about at all.......Namasta!

theElf

Kiss My Artichoke - The Dirty Sonnets - Summer Break Late Night Re-Runs - My Future At British Steel Seems Unjust

2011-07-27T04:08:00.035-03:00

Ok, it's time for sayonara

She had a red red scarf
Around her neck
Her eyes were green
Her hair was black

Ooh she gave me mekong whiskey
Ooh she gave me hong kong flu
Ooh she gave me mekong whiskey
Put me on a breeze to katmandu

Sayonara - som-yat-zu, som-yat-zu

For All The Blow Up Dolls

How many days pass in these hours?
How many minutes fade from these days?
How many seconds wait so still on these window sills?

It seems time is the unkind foe.
It all flows, and it does show.
You see, I lose the slip of your cool plastic lip.
Then the red tips of your fake tits.
If not for your perky cushion duct taped ass, it would all go so fast.

I’m alone in this haze from yesterday.
I think I hear something pissing air.
Oh damn, those dark languid wings have sprung a leak again.
You see, I've had this long running thing with 3M duct tape.
It’s more than just a sticky fling.

I’ve been waiting for her, because I know.
I’ve been oh so still for her, because I know.
I’ve told her, about my night light, because I know.

Then I see her floating across the volleyball net at the back of my eye.
Her red gaping mouth appears to have something to sell.
Then no dominions take form.
Then everything just can stop.
Then the imagination burns.
Let us begin this delicate plastic affair repair.

theElf

Little Damsel

She wrote me an email.
She wanted to cum over and be part of the scene.
She shot to the spot on that wet dirty night.
She was bursting with excitement and quivered with mirth.

We smoked some sinsemilla, which smoothed out the edges.
We put on her favourite bi-porno.
We played my Bongos, and remixed with Culture Club
(Do You really Want To Hurt Me?)
All at once, and with little ease the clothes began to fall.
When I saw those titties, I knew I'd want more.

Well who wouldn't want to fuck her, but she strapped on instead.
I was ready for anything, even chopsticks and sushi.
But in a flash she flung it out, and turned it on me.
I pleaded, "Only your pussy can set this poor boy free."

In a dazzling cessation of an hour so opulent.
She pulled out some cold pressed virgin and lubes up for war.
He voluptuous lips and tongue have done all this before.

In an attempt at tantric.
I bit my lip hard and squeezed both my balls.
It still didn't take long.
I came in her eye.
She didn't even blink, because it was fake.

Well I didn't want her to go.
Howbeit she had another date to make with three bi-girls.
I knew she'd come back, but I still wanted more.
This damsel is a keeper, but until that next call.

I'll dote.....
I'll yen......
I'll crave her the most.

Cum back little damsel.
Cum back little damsel.
Cum back little damsel.

Please, before I go desperately limp!

theElf (Excerpt The Wayward Gardner - Watermelon Lover - Poetry Compilation)

SPF 50

The old painting above your bed,
watches your back of time
A new passion burns the time away
In whisper quiet unexplored seas

The isle of ample bosom awaits
Close sailing naked shores
A long rhythmic dance
plays by the shoulder off Orion
Your always waiting for me
Beyond the white flowers,
and drifting afternoon azures.

Pink sand and your peach oolong navel
Warm moon drop coconut creamed thighs
Fragrant spiced lips,
fondle my every mirage

Slippery wet contours
The volcano!
The Gods!

Amphitrite rises one more time
All across your waiting gold pasties
A strong coconut cream SPF 50
A tender warmth penetrates
deep into your heart I will always emanate

Like a new painting
Your still glistening wet

theElf (My Dirty Garden Poetry)

Used & Abused

Why instruct me in shoe lace tying
or any of the universal laws, except one?

Why teach me grammatical niceties?
When expletives and native themed voyages
are the cubes for cock tale hour.

Yes, better off breezing by the hardwood.
Lick your lips and straighten your dress.
These woods are too lovely dark and deep.
But, if you insist and persist.
Come late in scented black silk.

I'll ponder your perfumed skin and crush some grapes.
I'll whittle away the afternoon erogenous zones.
I'll teach you all the dark liberal arts.

Ah, better off just letting me be me.
You'd be scared with no guiding torch.
Alone with me and black wood.
Where no full moon dares a shadow,
lest a wink sets you free.

Only you and some of me.
Surrounded by all these dark
menacing hairy nightmares.
All feverishly in hot pursuit.

Run for your lives!
The wild bearded cunny attack!
No hair management whatsoever!
We'll be used and abused!
Whatever shall I do?
May I call a friend?

by
theElf

theElf

Dark Gardenias and Dormant Volcanos - I'm Not Sure Why I Do What I Do - Perhaps If Only To See It Clearly and Through To The End

2011-07-18T03:45:00.001-03:00

"I don't know....I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here....money is important, but then my salary is small compared to yours so therefore it's less important. I'm also not sure why I'm doing what I'm doing., perhaps it's only for the pleasure of it or perhaps I'm unable to do anything else, perhaps I've nothing else to do.....but I do know that whenever I try to do something...I try to do it well.....and to see it clearly and through to the end.........Do you understand?"

A Reminiscent Memoir Reflection

Atomic Tom - Don't You Want Me

Release yourself to it and overcome your innermost being, and let yourself flee.....I can feel it, oh how I can feel the distant beat of a beautiful rhythm that comes to haunt on the hot days. You see where would I go if failure was not considered a viable option? These days I'm stationed in a remote outpost akin to northern Siberia, and I have only myself for light humor and to blame of course. You see, who else can you trust in this filthy sticky heat? You answer that one pal and your too smart for the team.

I've always enjoyed the heat and difficult puzzles, perhaps it will bring my undoing one day, but for the moment is the least of my troubles. No, I'm alone and it's become abundantly clear, no rescue boat is searching for me.....it was never reported! It's just me, Wilson and our combined stubborn ingenuity, alone with the sunrise and sunset. I thought at one time it was because I cared, but it's not really why I'm still here.....it's because no matter whether it be for pleasure or pain.... I try to do it well, and to see it clearly through to the end.....that is my motto, my credo!......

It must be understood that these endeavorers once set in proper unassisted motion are not always for the good and white light, as some might expect. You see even dirty deeds must be done well and seen clearly through to their end. You don't normally find these attributes listed in the long position description or for that matter on a well rounded curriculum vitae.....It's tough to beat years of open water experience to understand what it takes to beat the heat. It's all in the beat, everything else is foder and the fog of beautiful war.

MRI & Fluxion - Tanner

theElf

Deep In The Shit - What A Surprise To Meet The Brown Buffalo At Long Last - My Travels Have Only Just Begun - Summer In Siam

2011-07-09T03:18:00.011-03:00

There's always an alien battle cruiser, or a Corellian death ray, or a plague intended to wipe out life on this miserable little planet. The only way these people can get on with their happy lives is that they DO NOT KNOW ABOUT IT!

MIB

Glasvegas - Ice Cream Van

Anicca (Sanskrit: anitya): That all things are impermanent.

Dukkha (Sanskrit: duḥkha): That all beings suffer from all situations due to unclear mind.

Anatta (Sanskrit: anātman): That the perception of a constant "self" is an illusion.

The Pogues - Summer in Siam

we don't need to fight.....Look around! This a land of the coca leaf. We got chickens coming up into your mouth....they walk right in. Everything here is for the taking. You can't just go your own way in peace anymore, not in our time, maybe back in the old days, time of pioneers, man could do what he wanted to do in peace. See he had the woods then, he could go off into the woods and live alone. He could live off the woods. Anybody try to follow him, he could just move on. There is always more woods up ahead. It's not like that anymore........

The Thin Red Line

theElf

Do Not Enter - Winner Best Original Shore Leave Picture - Moonlight Feels Right 4AM Rework - When All I Had To Think About Was Happy Hour

2011-07-04T23:05:00.017-03:00

we made up our minds
packed up things
head out of the city
searching for simple things
If I could tell you
It wouldn't tell you

theElf

Moonlight Feels Right

The wind blew some luck in my direction
I caught it in my hands today
I finally made a tricky french connection
You winked and gave me your ok
I'll take you on a trip beside the ocean
And drop the top at Chesapeake Bay
Ain't nothing like the sky to dose a potion
The moon'll send you on your way, ha, ha
Moonlight feels right, moonlight feels right

We'll lay back and observe the constellations
And watch the moon smiling bright
I'll play the radio on southern stations
'Cause southern belles are hell at night
You say you came to Baltimore from Ole Miss
A class of '74 gold ring
The eastern moon looks ready for a wet kiss
To make the tide rise again, ha, ha
Moonlight feels right, moonlight feels right

We'll see the sun come up on sunday mornin'
And watch it fade the moon away
I guess you know I'm givin' you a warnin'
'Cause me and moon are itchin' to play
I'll take you on a trip beside the ocean
And drop the top at Chesapeake Bay
Ain't nothing like the sky to dose a potion
The moon'll send you on your way
Moonlight feels right, moonlight feels right

Yacht Rock

theElf (please enjoy responsibly)

My Southern Blues Vacation - Fat Possum Recording Studio - The Birds Bees and My Imported Butterfly - Freedom Takes Time

2011-07-03T00:54:00.004-03:00

"The more you like yourself, the less you are like anyone else, which makes you unique."

Walt Disney

Junior Kimbrough - Feels So Good #2

I would open the floor, but the general ambiance would not be conducive to free flowing thought. The white widow is an extremely spiritual full body experience. I've dragged my body to the temple and I have a few words to cast off into the black ether from this high pulpit.

I have at times taken my past freedom for granted would be an entire understatement, but as in life we all tend to get a second chance, and it's entirely appropriate to revise and restate decade old statements. I have had a better than good run to date, and see no reason to change the recipe now...it works!

Hey, it all comes and goes so fast no one knows what the hell is going on from one moment to the next. So, I've decided to structurally reshape a few things.....Nothing enters unless it moves without effort without thought......everything will flow and be cool crushed velvet across my skin......I know all this to be true, because as I was on a pee break at the side of a wooded road in a panicked rush on my way to maryville hell. A most exquisite luxurious exotic indescribable butterfly landed on my pee pee while i was having a wee wee.......and right there and then I knew......it was the sign, and it hit me squarely between the eyes with such magnitude that my life could never possible be the same ever again, I shuddered alone with the still life display........Then slowly with such care I finally used my blackberry for something more closely aligned with a purpose......Indeed the opposite of Ansel Adams in full color with minimalist expanse.....there was my muse dangling from my pecker daring me to piss her off!

You see then I realized that the maca super smoothies were tripping me up for the better, and those far off lands that call me away were right on the money! The power of freedom to be free at last, if only briefly is delightful to my blues senses......It's true and remember always that little birds fly south and all big bees work for the queen, but only real butterflies french kiss.....

L.S.F. (Live Royal Albert Hall) - Kasabian

theElf

I

Signed Andy Dufresne - My Commencement Speech For You - Do Not Go Gentle Into That Goodnight - This Is A Story About Death

2011-06-24T00:30:00.004-03:00

I Like The Way You Think - I'm Gonna Be Watching You

This is a story about death - I hope it inspires you as it did me......

When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: "If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you'll most certainly be right." It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: "If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?" And whenever the answer has been "No" for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.

Remembering that I'll be dead soon is the most important tool I've ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.

About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn't even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor's code for prepare to die. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes.

I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and I'm fine now.

This was the closest I've been to facing death, and I hope it's the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept:

No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life's change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true.

Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of others' opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.

When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960's, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, and overflowing with neat tools and great notions.

Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish." It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you.

Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.

Thank you all very much.

theElf

The Errant Boy Sent By Grocery Clerks - I've Seen Kurtz's Gardenias - What Now On The Longest Day of The Year?

2011-06-21T06:32:00.007-03:00

"Anything approaching the change that came over his features I have never seen before, and hope never to see again. Oh, I wasn't touched. I was fascinated. It was as though a veil had been rent. I saw on that ivory face the expression of sombre pride, of ruthless power, of craven terror--of an intense and hopeless despair. Did he live his life again in every detail of desire, temptation, and surrender during that supreme moment of complete knowledge? He cried in a whisper at some image, at some vision--he cried out twice, a cry that was no more than a breath:
The horror! The horror!"

Joesph Conrad - The Heart of Darkness

Good does not always triumph, and sometimes the dark side overcomes the better angles of our nature.

http://youtu.be/5iw1KobfPwk

I don't know....I'm not quite sure what I'm doing here....money is important, but then my salary is small compared to yours so therefore it's less important. I'm also not sure why I'm doing what I'm doing., perhaps it's only for the pleasure of it or perhaps I'm unable to do anything else, perhaps I've nothing else to do.....but I do know that whenever I try to do something...I try to do it well.....and to see it clearly and through to the end.........Do you understand?

The Moment of Doubt (Burn - A Favorite Bedtime Story)

Kurtz's Gardenias

http://youtu.be/2BqloFdNq2Y

theElf (a brooding movie mood mode)

Dedicated To The Terrible Peace Of A Sunday Afternoon - The Telephone Call From Istanbul - My Briefcase and Her Handcuffs

2011-06-17T04:42:00.004-03:00

(my beloved travel attache)

"I tend to sweat heavily in warm climates. My clothes are soaking wet from dawn to dusk. This worried me at first, but when I went to a doctor and described my normal daily intake of booze, drugs and poison he told me to come back when the sweating stopped."

The Doctor

I'm good for so long and then I must release the champagne cork and hit the road, escape onto the I-95 South and it just keeps getting better, like being one step ahead of the authorities!.......the beast countdown clock. I have no antidote to halt the full moon appointment, but I ask no forgiveness, it's my cure....The only way I know how to escape from the man zoo and the high end smart-phone crackies..... I'll remember your face!

It was dangerous lunacy, but it was also the kind of thing a real connoisseur of edge-work could make an argument for... Separately, we might pull it off. But together, no — we would blow it. Too much aggressive chemistry in that mix; the temptation to run a deliberate freakout would be too heavy.

The possibility of complete mental and physical collapse is now very real, anyone have a spare pair of golf shoes in the trunk? These matters are best described at a later date by way of the splatter paint panoramic montage......

"You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself, any direction you choose."

Dr. Seuss

theElf

I'll Always Be There For You My Sweetheart - The Ride Is Better Than The Destination - I Had No Idea

2011-06-11T04:37:00.018-03:00

“There, nothing but order, beauty, measure, luxury, calm and sweetest pleasure.”

Baudelaire

It's a strange thing indeed to propagate and unleash upon this world a custom version of your genetic code. In many ways it tells me that my job in this life is done, and I may proceed to die along with the gasping pink salmon at the exit. However, that was the thoughts of an naive upstart, nowadays I'm referred to in certain circles as the seasoned veteran of active duty. Why? Well not many animals or mammals eat their own for one, and because you instinctually know your time is limited with your offspring. The days of just the two of us boarding the hills together under the warm winter stars do not linger forever my dearest.

I'm a very calm and semi-adjusted individual with very steady hands, but I do not do well with letting go.......So, how will I fare as I move through this life, based on my late start in the rat race is hard to say. I do know that it's not about quantity, but has much to do with the quality and the concentration of love for those who stand in the calming shade and gentle breezes. In a way everything must change, but no matter I will always remember with a weak heart the days when you would look into my eyes, hold my hand and in those moments I truly felt that nothing else mattered for both you and me....nothing else. I hope you felt the same way my sweetheart, and I hope that my little acorn will understand what's important in this life, if you should lose your way consider the tree from whence you dropped and always look up at the stars.....tip up my little sweetest grommet, tip up!

Your custom birthday card
Big Z