That is Freedom

Rida F.

You say freedom doesn’t exist
Or that it means to do whatever you want –
I beg to differ.
Freedom does exist.

It exists in the time when you walk out covered from head to toe,
because you are free from the painful, the stressful shackles of society.
It started existing the day you vowed you wouldn’t let man dictate
how you acted, how you spoke, how you dressed, how you lived.

It exists in that split moment after Shaytan attacks and incites you with whispers
but you, you muster the strength to fight him back.
It exists in that little voice inside you
that nags at you to correct yourself because you are in the wrong.

It exists within the words of your Lord
when you recite them and reflect upon them.
It exists on your tongue, when you say a kind word
or are nice to someone who has wronged you.

It exists in your heart when you find yourself forgiving others
for the sake of Allah.
It exists in the place between the ground and your head
when you are prostrating to the One Who is Worthy of all Prostrations.

It exists every time you decide with a firm resolve
that you’re going to submit to the will and the hukum (command) of Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala
That is freedom.

Hijab – It is an idea I have grown up with. It was not the result of a life-changing event or a sudden religious epiphany. I started covering my hair (on and off at the beginning) when I was about ten years old. Before you jump to any conclusions – let me make it clear that my parents did not force me into it. But it wasn’t until much later that I actually started wearing the ‘Hijab’ – until I learnt that true Hijab was more than a piece of cloth that covered your hair.

I always liked the idea of wearing hijab when I was younger- it made me feel special though I couldn’t really put a finger on why that was. Hijab was not something I dived into headfirst; I waded into it step by step. And by wading into it I don’t mean I put it on piece by piece – rather I mean I learned to appreciate the value of it day by day as I got a little older and just a tad bit wiser!

I learnt over the years that Hijab is not just a headscarf, long sleeves, and a garmet that flows to my ankles. I learnt that hijab is a way of life. It is the way you walk down the street. It is the tone of your voice when talking to members of the opposite sex. It is the places you hang out in after school and the friends you have around you all the time. Simply put – It is the way you carry yourself. A scarf on your head cannot simply define who you are. You can wrap a pashmina around your head but still be a flirt. You can wear long sleeves but still l look at all the wrong thngs. You can be covered from head to toe and still not be in a state of Hijab (and yes, here I refer to Hijab as a state you are in, not just an object wrapped around your head). However, the way you carry yourself can define the person you are. The way you walk can show modesty. The way you talk can earn you respect. The places you hang out in can show your values. And the friends you have can be a reflection of who you are.

When you think of Hijab the right way – It does not seem constraining or opressive. Rather, you will realize that it is a shield that is handed to you so you can better protect yourself – not a weapon of cruelty used to unnecessarily torture you.

The next time you walk down the street in your Hijab, remember that it is about more than just your headscarf. Remember that Allah wants you to be protected. Allah wants you to be protected because you are special – very, very special! For who would go through all the effort to protect something that was worthless in the first place?

As she was about to step out of the room, she looked back at her reflection in the mirror: a face devoid of makeup framed by a hijaab that draped over her bosom stared back at her; her whole body was enveloped in a black abaya that flowed down to her feet. Yet, she thought sadly, I’m not complete –I hope for the day that I won’t have to expose my face in front of the world either.  As she walked with slow but steady steps down the street towards the Masjid, she looked like the ideal Muslimah: gaze lowered, well-covered, tall, strong, and confident. She had come a long way to get to this stage; hers was a story of a rise, a fall, and a rise again. How did she get to this stage? This is how it all started…

She was a whole lot of fun: the cool chic around the block who knew all the latest songs and could wind to the latest beats. She was a young fashionista who loved the “bling” image she portrayed. She turned heads and giggled at catcalls and whistles she heard whenever she walked by. She lived a life of love songs, romance novels, clothes, jewellery, and dreams of a ‘prince charming.’ She dreamed of being a beauty queen and travelling all over the world but her family wanted her to get into college first before getting into any contest. She observed Salah only when she felt like it, and forgot the little part of the Qur’an she had memorized at her local Madrasah. The only Muslim identity she had was her name.

Before getting into college, she met a girl who changed her orientation of hijaab. She started to wear a little head scarf but still wore the kind of clothes she loved and this drew even more attention towards her because now she was drawing the attention of the ‘hip’ Muslim boys as well. When she started college she started to move around with more Muslims and learned a lot more about her Creator, the hijaab, and Islam in general. She found it hard though to change her way of life because she still considered herself a ‘good girl’ even though her little hijaab was a big source of fitnah; and she definitely didn’t want to stop her regular activities like listening to music. She wanted the easy Islam or the ‘contemporary Islam’ as it is called.

Then one day she decided to wear the Jilbab but her family wouldn’t hear of it. A little persuasion from them was all it took to get her to even take off the little hijaab she was wearing, and replace it with a skull cap and even tighter clothes. Then the fall began! She stayed away from the Masjid and from the members of the young ummah who tried calling her back to the right path. Once again she became a Muslim just by name and it wasn’t long until she found her prince charming. She fell head over heels in love with a boy from school who was also a Muslim by name and she became involved in what could be called a whirlwind romance. Now there was no stopping her. She started earning nicknames like ‘flymuslimah’, getting silly award nominations in her class for her beauty and style and she was siimply loving it!

Her romance with prince charming got more heated up: candles, nights out, flowers, holding hands, and staring at the stars just like in the movies and before she knew it, she had fallen into the forbidden. She wasn’t ready for marriage and neither was he. They both continued and promised each other to love each other until death without even thinking of Allah’s Wrath. They just wanted to be in love and eventually get married.

After graduation, the romance continued and her family was in full support of it without even planning to make the union legal. A sister of hers decided to give her inspirational Islamic books hoping that she may one day find the time to read  them instead of the romance novels she was used to. She actually did read them and the realization of what she had done finally overcame her. She became repentant and called it quits with prince charming. She started to read more Islamic literature, observe more Salah, turned back to the Qur’an and made efforts to find her soul again. She came across the verse in the Qur’an and her hope was restored.

Say: O My slaves who have transgressed  against themselves! Do not despair of the Mercy of Allah,Verily Allah forgives all sins. Truly, He is oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. [39:53]

Taking up the hijaab again wasn’t very easy for her though. She wanted to please Allah by obeying His dictates yet she felt like she had already been too exposed to evil and there was nothing worth covering anymore. Each time she tried wearing it, she felt empty and felt like she was only covering up trash. She always ended up in tears and fear. However, learning more about the hijaab, it’s rulings, and the punishment for not wearing it made her feel very uncomfortable going out without it. She also saw that the only thing stopping her from wearing it again was Shaytan’s plot to continue to mislead her by making her think she wasn’t worth wearing hijab. She read the story of the man who killed ninety-nine men and also killed the monk who told him that he couldn’t be forgiven and she realized that if she really was sincere in her repentance, she needed to turn completely away from the things that led her to sins.  She cringed each time she passed by and a guy did so much as look at her twice or stare at her face too long. So she started by covering up her body a bit more. Her family began to notice the sudden change and wondered what was going on with her. One day she braced up and took up her hijab once more. This time around however, she faced her family with steadfastness when they told her to take off her hijab again. She took her strength from the stories of the Sahabah (companions) and hoped that insha’Allaah, her repentance would be accepted in the sight of Allah and that she may be included amongst the dwellers in Jannah.

Now she dedicates her time to calling other sisters to the path of Allah. She tries as best as she can never to turn back to anything that will lead her astray. She turns and looks back at the times she was astray as a test, as a way of never feeling secure from the Plan of Allah. She knows now that a believer should always live in a state of love, fear, and hope of Allah. Most of all now, she knows the real essence of hijaab and the proper way it should be worn to avoid being a source of fitnah for herself and those around her.

Denial

I am a Muslim and I have died

From death I could not escape, I could not hide.

I’m all alone, no one by my side

And this is my end, the one I denied

“I’m young” I said, “not even a bride”

Perfecting my religion? I never even tried

Now shrouded in white, all along to myself I had lied

And this is my end, the one I denied

The car sped fast, flipped over the rail-side

Blood everywhere, glass shattered with the doors pried

On this world lasting forever I had solely relied

And this is my end, the one I denied

Iman so weak it could be washed away with the tide

A fitrah and mind in constant collide

Turned cheek to my beliefs, a heart full of pride

And this is my end, the one I denied

The guidance it came but I pushed it aside

I wish I could go back! By the rules I would abide

But it’s too late, now shrouded and tied

By the shades of belief I wish I could be dyed

But this is my end, the one I denied

What will I see? What will my deeds provide?

My book is closed, the well of forgiveness dried

All the intentions kept in are brought outside

And this is my end, the one I denied.

 Often times we lose sight of what our true purpose is in life. And yet, there are reminders all around us.  

Our preoccupation with life gets in the way of our dedication to religion. Our “life” gets in the way of salat. Our “life” gets in the way of remembering Allah ta’ala. Our day may revolve around our education, our children, our parents, our wants, our earnings. Our busy days often distract us from our true purpose, pleasing Allah.

However, we have been blessed with reminders to guide us back to our true purpose in life. A beautiful and practical reminder is the blessing of hijab. Use your hijab as your aid in remembering Allah as often as you can. So, even when you get up for school or work, when you step in front of that mirror to put on your hijab, don’t worry so much about how well it matches or if it’s perfectly pinned. Instead, worry about whether or not it’s fulfilling its purpose. Throughout the day, when you see your reflection in a window or when you take a moment to tuck in the strand of hair, look at your hijab and remember what it represents.

Is it reminding you that you are a Muslim? Is it reminding you that you are a believer in the one Lord? Is it reminding you to praise Allah?

We can use these moments to remember that what we have on our head represents what we believe in our hearts. It is the perfect opportunity to gain blessings. Simple dhikr during those moments can increase our good deeds. So even if you are having a busy day with running errands, working or shuffling from one class to another, you can use your hijab not just for modesty, but to remember Allah every chance you get!

Symbol of Purity

Naima Abedin

Modesty, security, protection,
Love, respect, and deep affection.
Not a way to abuse the religion
By putting it on but not knowing the reason.

Yeah I’m not a scholar, and it’s not my place to say
But I think we all know, that that Day isn’t far away
When we stand in front of Allah and answer for our deeds
“Why did you wear hijaab” He’ll ask, and we’ll reply “my parents made me.”

Why else would you wear it, but not give it the respect it needs
By putting it on at one point, and then chucking it like a disease.
Just because your parents don’t see it, doesn’t mean He’s also oblivious;
In the end it’s His wrath you’re dealing with, not you’re parents’ vehemence.

Not only are you hurting your life in the hereafter,
But for other Muslims, you could create disaster.
Every where you go, you set an example for the Muslim population.

One ignorant act, and it’s a step back
on a hard- built positive construction.
Hijaab is mandatory for our own sake
It prevents us from sinning, and keeps us safe.

 Of course no one is perfect, but trying to be already makes you that
By mending your ways one step at time, Jannah you’ll obtain and that’s a fact.
So start with what you have: hijaab is a crucial part of our identity
Respect it and understand it, for it’s a beautiful symbol of purity.

My story may relate to many people because my search for answers is also someone else’s. This semester at my university has taught me very important lessons, and I wanted to share my thoughts on this subject of how I came to wear the hijab. I hope my words don’t offend anyone in any way, but I wish the readers to take me sincerely and to hear me out.

I know people will always judge, no matter what we do. We judge others from the outside, and we always want to know the reason behind everything, don’t we?

So for the hijab, some might say, “Well why should I cover my hair?” Some may say, “Yeah modesty is a beautiful thing” and yet some may say “yeah guys like modest girls.” While others may still say, “I believe that it’s all in the heart, and all we need is the right intention” and so on and so forth.

However with me, ever since I started taking biology courses in high school, I always wanted to know the truth behind my life, the reason behind the creation of this world, the reason behind what is happening and has happened in the past, and I wanted answers to everything.

But the moment that truly opened my eyes was my car accident a few years back. Alhamdulillah, due to Allah’s Mercy, I was saved, but not my car and the cars in front of me. The fear that entered my heart at that point, forced me to reflect, “Am I really ready to die?”

Then after that incident,  I started to question my inner self and my ways, and slowly approached the Qu’ran. Although Arabic is my mother tongue, I had to read it in English, with the full translation and tafseer (explanation), to fully understand the message behind the verses.

Before this, I had never really asked myself, what does my Creator want from me? What pleases Allah? What is going to happen after I die? Will my grave truly be my “resting” place? What will the consequences of doing a bad deed or even a good deed be?

Also, I had always known that women in Islam are supposed to wear the hijab and be covered, but I never really felt like I was ready for it. But once a teacher advised me with an excellent piece of advice: “Before wearing the hijab, focus on your daily prayers first.”

I took that advice to heart, and I would carry with me my prayer clothes, abaya and head scarf, and a prayer rug wherever I went! That meant, I literally had to stick to my daily prayers at any place and any time –no excuses. I even took it with me to the gym, when I went out with friends, and to work.  I will be honest: in the beginning, it was little intimidating praying in public; but alhamdulillah it felt so peaceful after every prayer prayed on time.

So once I was praying ‘Asr, and suddenly a spark came, and I felt like I was ready for the hijab.
At first I thought “Oh how convenient! Now I will be able to pray wherever I am and at any place –I’m all set!” (i.e. that I have my prayer equipment ready). Yet, I felt like there was more to it than just that; more to the hijab than just covering the hair and body for prayer.

I decided that I wanted to represent my faith and practice it right.

—

Family and friends reacted overseas by saying, “Oh how nice of you to wear that in America!” But then I thought: how does living in America make it different than any Muslim country? Are we following culture or are we following Islam? Is Islam just a religion where we pray and believe in God and then do whatever we want for the rest of the time? If we properly study Islam, study what our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) used to do and what he called to, we will come to realize that it is the WAY OF LIFE.

Therefore, my passion for my hijab doesn’t just stop here –it continues. It continues by passing on the same advice to my brothers and sisters that my teacher passed on to me: Focus on the 5 daily prayers first.

It is true what Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala’s says in the Qur’an:

Recite that which has been revealed to you of the Book and keep up prayer; surely prayer keeps (one) away from indecency and evil. And certainly the remembrance of Allah is greater, and Allah knows what you do. [29:45]

Also, I have come across people that say “Well I do good deeds here and there, and isn’t that what a good Muslim does? Doesn’t intention count?” Yes and yes and yes. But then what caused Iblis (Shaytan) be pushed out of paradise? Not prostrating to Allah and becoming arrogant. He was too arrogant to prostrate down despite His Lord’s command. So what does that make us?

This is why I can’t judge anyone, looking at where I first was and where I am now. Who has guided me but Allah? However, if it wasn’t the first step I took of keeping up with my Salah, I wouldn’t have end up here. With every step you take forward towards Allah, tests and challenges will come facing you. But that’s not because Allah doesn’t love you, but because He wants to help YOU become stronger.

In addition, I started out taking it slow, one step at a time. Every Friday prayer I would wear the hijab to the Masjid and listen to khutbah as my “learning” time. I personally like to take baby-steps and not push myself into something, while forgetting the rest. Just as the Qu’ran says to wear the hijab, it also contains other commandments that we shouldn’t neglect. So when I wore the hijab, I asked myself, okay, now that I’m following one thing, am I also following the other orders?

It’s funny though, how in this normal struggle to come closer to Allah, people closest to me may label me as “religious” or whatever term they want. But I smile and think to myself, I am just a typical human who is trying to search for truth and  work hard to learn about Islam, something which I’m already born into. I see some converts and mashaAllah, they are much ahead of me in following and keeping up with knowledge about the Deen, so I think, where does that place me?

Why take a gift, an honor, the privilege to be a Muslim for granted? Why turn away from Qu’ran when it’s right there, easy to reach to just open and read once in a while, not just during Ramadan?

Moreover, I met a convert at an event through my MSA, and she said to us, “I used to look at Muslims and judge them. But then I came to realize that they are not perfect, Islam is!” To me, that was thought-provoking because it is true: we are not perfect. But why shouldn’t we work on our weakness and improve and implement our knowledge into actions –and not to please other people, but to please Allah?

So in trying to implement this I took the example of working out. Just as I keep track of my sets and reps, and I keep track of my cardio in weekly goals, I started keeping track of my prayers and my weekly goals that I needed to work on myself and just do a self-check.  Because after all, I thought, before I pass judgment on any one, I am being judged at every moment.

And further, what actually opened my eyes were the days I went to court for my driving tickets and when I had to stand all alone in front of the judge with  my own “record” and evidences to prove me innocent. Nervous as I was, I thought to myself, isn’t it going to be the same thing on Day of Judgment? Aren’t I going to be responsible for my own actions and careless mistakes that I’ve made? My only evidence to prove me innocent will be my own record in this life.

Life is so precious, and I hope I never ever take anything for granted; it’s hard because I too, sometimes attribute my success to myself, but that is not true. My success didn’t come from me, it came from Allah.

I’m grateful I had parents and family members reminding me to get up and pray, and hearing the adhan in my home country served as a constant reminder. Here, though, it’s different, but not difficult. At college there is more freedom of choice, and actual prayer places are available. Alhamadulillah Allah also sent me the right people to remind me and support me, and I was surrounded by righteous friends. I could not have done it on alone –but together, as one ummah, and as true friends, we can stick together to remind each other of the truth.

From Surah al ‘Asr: “By time, verily Man is in loss. Except such as have Faith, and do righteous deeds, and join together in the mutual teaching of Truth, and of Patience and Constancy.” [103]