Keeping with tradition from seasons past, once I found out that the bios were officially up, I decided to pick three contenders based solely on their thumbnail picture. Let’s see how I did!

Meet Tiny Brad

I think I stopped at Tiny Brad because he has a nice smile. I also appreciate his bold choice to wear the color teal on his national TV debut headshot photo. Finally, it would appear that he has light eyes and dark hair. Let’s see if I’m right…

1. The Smile: Very nice. Extremely white teeth which are emphasized by his fresh spray tan and non-nonchalant five o’clock shadow.
2. The Shirt: I’m glad it’s a bit more manly than the thumbnail would imply. It’s no periodic chart tee, but I think I see the start to a mighty fine gun show.
3. The Eyes and Hair: I’m a fan of a buzz cut. The eyes are the same color as the shirt. Bonus points.

The website has a new section that features scanned hand written applications from our contestants. According to his answers, Brad is both an accountant AND a deejay. YES! He claims he would dance with me in the rain if we ever found ourselves in Seattle. Um, OKAY! He thinks Will Ferrell is the funniest man alive and loves Christmas Vacation. SURVEY SAYS? I APPROVE!

Meet Tiny Juan Pablo

Tiny Juan Pablo’s hair intrigued me. He also looked manly and rugged. Again, I’m a sucker for a five o’clock shadow. Roll out the big version (she said to no one)!

1. The Hair: Oh Juan. I love how you put so much product in your hair, yet wear your t-shirt in a deep V plunge as if to convey you are super laid back.
2. Is he rugged? I would need to inspect his fingernails to be for sure, but according to his bio, he was a pro football (read: soccer) player in Venezuela.
3. The Shadow? There’s a bit of a hairy neck sweater going on in this pic. I’m not a fan.

According to the application, The Pablo is one of the few who DOESN’T have the hand writing of a blind doctor, serial killer or first grader. Bonus. He loves to dance (AWESOME), doesn’t read (I find that odd) and is looking for a woman with great breasts (aren’t we all?) He’ll either be the mysterious Venezuelan brooding in the corner or he’ll charm Des with a quick game of soccer in the driveway. She’ll face plant due to the obnoxious train on her cocktail dress or by slipping on the freshly sprayed asphalt. He’ll go far as a result of whispering sweet Spanish nothings in her ear to console her as Harrison gives her a sip from his boot flask to make the pain go away. VAYA CON DIOS JUAN PABOLO!

Meet Tiny Zak

Like Tiny Brad, I was drawn to Tiny Zak’s smile. I saw the faint outlining of a possible dimple, which is my personal kryptonite. I also thought the angle of his headshot gave him a whimsical feel. Did he run in the shot because he was too busy shooting the breeze with Harrison’s entourage? Was he helping an old lady across the street? Was he trying on his third Henley in order to get just the right look for his national debut? THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS!

Meet Big Zak

1. The Smile: Clearly, Crest White Strips are the national sponsor for season 20.
2. The Angle: We learn from Zak’s bio that he’s an oxymoron which is code for WACKY. He’s a drilling fluids engineer (I just fell asleep typing that) yet he likes to go antiquing with his Mom and hopes that there is always room for creativity. What? I can’t decide if he was actually late to the photo shoot because he was solving a math problem for fun or helping Juan Pablo pick the proper deep V-neck.

Let the record show that Zak also answered a question with the term, “nopers.” How do we feel about that? He likes karaoke and camping but if he could eat dinner with anyone, it would be the Cookie Monster. I don’t know if I should roll my eyes or root for him with the passion of a thousand One F Jefs. Help me.

Meet Nick R.

Nick R. was scanned over from the tiny composite pics, but he quickly moved up the ladder when I read that he was both a tailor and a magician. A MAGICIAN Y’ALL! He can make his own cape and pull a rabbit out of his hat! Abracadabra I hope this dude goes far! TEAM HOUDINI!

Meet My Legitimate Favorite

Nick M. lives in New York as an investment advisor and drinks either beer or wine. Deciding between the two IS hard. We’re soul mates. Also, it takes him 20 minutes to get ready and he easily blushes. Adorable.

What do y’all think? Do you have a favorite? Will Juan Pablo be cool or annoying? Do you think Nick R. will pull a quarter out of Harrison’s ear? Will Harrison saw him in half if he does? Does Brad have potential? Is Nick M. your favorite too? Sound off in the comment section!

I’m honored that she thought to take this picture with another great Dr on her big day!

PS: Check back later for my take on the new crop of Bachelors.

At least five are wearing the color teal in their composite pics.  I’m just sayin’.

Therefore, my take on Sean’s most memorable moments from tonight’s episode will be short and sweet. Just like Tom Bergeron.

HERE COMES THE BRIDE
1. Sean rocked the white man overbite. Twice.
2. Peta wore a mullet bridal dress.
3. You can tell that Catherine is ready for her 15 minute of fame to be up.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
1. Sean attempted jazz. It was special.
2. Sharna and Peta were his assistants. Straight of the Vegas floor show.
3. I liked his converse tennis shoes.

NOTABLES
1. Zandaya dancing with BOTH Val and Gleb = luckiest girl in the entire world.
2. I’m pretty sure Jacoby’s fly was down during the fire paso doble dance.
3. Hearing Tristan talk makes me want to eat a bowl of Lucky Charms.

What do you guys think? Is Sean gone this week? Or is the Zagger returning to General Hospital? Sound off in the comment section!

It’s been 10 days and I absolutely LOVE this phone!  Best purchase since my MAC computer and my iPod.  Hands down.  It even beats the new Buble album.  But only by a little.

I also decided that for the first time in my own personal cellular history, I would spend a little extra cash and get a super cute case for it.

HOW DARLING IS THAT?  Isn’t my monogram fabulous?  Don’t you love the red and turquoise?

Of course, the case is only for looks. Clearly it’s not functional.

And it doesn’t feel as cute in the plastic baggie I currently carry it around in so I can text and email without getting shards of glass in my fingers, but sometimes you have to sacrifice fashion for safety.

Other Notables
- Val and Zendaya are my favorites.
- Someone tell Ally and Kellie to stop puckering their lips.
- Does Mark Ballas annoy anyone else just a little bit?
- LOUIS VAN AMSTEL SIGHTING! HOORAY!
- The tiny blonde chick from So You Think You Can Dance is darling.

What did you think? Is Sean gone this week or will Andy Dick finally get the boot? Are you rooting for Zendaya or Kellie? Do you wish Tristan had more air time? Shirtless air time? ME TOO!

The question is, did you? If you are indifferent about your love for Bublé, feel free to learn more about him by clicking HERE.

PS: Long live the Puppini Sisters.

The text message from my friend Emily read: “Beefcakes shouldn’t dance.”

I knew I was in for a special treat as I settled on the couch to watch Dancing with the Stars. I chose the couch because it has ample cushions I can hide behind when Sean attempts to shimmy. And since he was doing the samba, there would be a plethora of shimmies.

The entire thing was a hot mess. From the time the camera caught Sean’s t-shirt knotted at his belly button during rehearsal to the actual performance in which he looked like Frankenstein dressed as a smurf, it was clear why Peta chose to peel the grape and make her partner dance shirtless.

CLICK HERE FOR PROOF

Yes. That was my nervous giggle you heard in the background. Begging them to stop.

OTHER NOTABLES:
1. “It was a spray tan samba from Sean.” Oh Tom.

2. Aly goes by Alexandra now.

3. I love when the girls danced all around Stevie Wonder and he cheered them on. He had no idea what was going on and was clearly told to not move a muscle lest he lose a limb by a wayward fan kick or booty bump.

It reminded me of the time I met Ronnie Milsap. I was taking a picture with him and my girlfriends when he told us we were beautiful. I thought, “How sweet!”

PS: Ronnie Milsap is also blind.

PSS: Who cares that he couldn’t technically see me! At this point, I’ll take it where I can get it.

Although the devastation is great, I’m thankful for the stories you hear about the heroes who ran toward the destruction to offer a helping hand. I thank God for them and silently ask that if I’m ever put in a situation where I have to choose, I will be brave enough to serve as they did.

And the hometown support of Boston Bruins fans, both for their city and their country, is clearly evident in this video. It’s times like these that make me proud to be an American.

RANDOM NEWS
So, apparently this is happening:

I’m not sure how I feel about it. Part of me thinks it makes sense and they are perfect for each other! Part of me thinks that it’s the worst idea ever because they both have “this is how it is” personalities. Of course, that might be a match made in heaven and I’m a sucker for all these crazy Bachelor kids actually finding love, even if it is on a random Fleiss-sponsored “show reunion” cruise ship out in the middle of Fill In The Blank Body Of Water.

HERE’S TO LOVE! What do y’all think? Will it last?

A WEDDING
As most of you know, my friend Some Guy in Austin married Some Gal in Austin this past weekend. I’m working on a story to describe the sweet ceremony that I’ll post later. It involves my dress flying up like Marilyn Monroe, confusing Some Guy with his twin brother and a John Travolta interpretation on the dance floor. I know. IT WAS EPIC.

PS: They are a beautiful couple.

FIND OF THE DAY
Y’all know how I love George Michael, right? If this informative piece of Lincee trivia has escaped your recollection, you can read about it by clicking HERE or HERE.

As I mentioned before, this time of year is crazy busy for me. I have a tendency to find sanctuary in the most random of places during my lunch break. Typically, my go-to place is Target. A few weeks ago, I decided I needed to reel in my “need” to visit Target multiple times a week. It was becoming sort of a problem that was headed to a place where friends would have to perform an intervention.   I simply don’t have time for that.

So I went to Wal-Mart instead.

Not only did I score a ton of Easter candy on sale 70-percent off, but I found this:

COME ON!!! George Michael and The Other Guy From Wham for the miniscule price of $5? YES PLEASE!

I’m off to jitterbug in my shorty shorts.

Love,
ME

1. I think the fog was a smart way to disguise bad footwork.  Peta in the Mist was pretty cool too.

2. Sean picks up Peta like she weighs 12 pounds. I’m adding that skill to my dating bucket list.
3. He looks good in lavender. He’d look better shirtless.
4. I love Jason Mraz’s “I Won’t Give Up.”
5. Sean pulled Peta across the floor while she was down in the splits. I think I can totally do that.

Other notables:
1. Victor’s back tat is sweet.
2. Mark Ballas suffers from Baby Talk Syndrome.
3. Zendaya suffers from Adorablitis.
4. Val is my favorite Chmerkovskiy.
5. If Chris Harrison wasn’t in my life, Tom Bergeron would be my preferred host.