I Have Zlata Thoughts

PHOTO: Amanda Bynes' Mug Shot

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Fri, 24 May 2013 15:21:00 +0000

According to TMZ, Amanda Bynes had to remove her wig before posing for her mug shot last night, following an episode where she was arrested for allegedly throwing her bong out of the window.

Her mug shot reveals a short boyish haircut and a not-so-pleased look.

Courtesy of TMZ

THOUGHTS? I think this is a prime opportunity for Lindsay Lohan to swing into the mix and make herself look like Mother Teresa. Isn't that what Charlie Sheen did for Lilo? On the other hand, I'm not sure what makes Amanda Bynes that different from public pot smoking Miley Cyrus. Who, by the way, also cut her hair short and dyed it platinum with not so much as a 'boo' from the media. What's up with the double standard here?

TV TimeZ: Memorial Day Weekend

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Fri, 24 May 2013 15:13:00 +0000

WHAT SHOULD I WATCH FRIDAY?

ABC: 20/20

FOX:Brain Games:Blow Your Mind

NBC: Rock Center with Brian Williams

WHAT SHOULD I WATCH SUNDAY?

Travel Channel: Rock My RV with Bret Michaels at 9p

BET: The Sheards at 8p

Bravo: The Kandi Factory at 10p

E!: Married to Jonas at 10p

NBC: Smash at 9p

TV TimeZ: May 22

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Wed, 22 May 2013 13:31:00 +0000

What should I watch tonight?

FOX: MasterChef at 8p

CBS: Criminal Minds at 9p

ID: Motives & Murders at 9p

NBC: Dateline NBC, Law & Order:SVU at 9p, Chicago Fire at 10p

ABC: The Middle, Family Tools, Modern Family, How to Live with Your Parents, Nashville

CBS: Criminal Minds

CW: Love Happens

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention: May 21

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Wed, 22 May 2013 13:19:00 +0000

Nina Christensen

You know when you go to give someone a compliment and you take it a little too far and it borders on creepy and uncomfortable? That seems to be my M.O.

Alina Lipkin

Seriously, what is the purpose of unscented deoderant?

Lindsay Powers Eichmann

the brief, magical NYC moment where the grass is really green, the smells haven't permeated the subway, and office ACs aren't cranked up to -80 degrees.

Roland Brian Alonzi

Ticket collector on train: "Sir, I'd like for everyone to make every seat available. Can you put your bag on the overhead rack?" Me: "Yeah and I'd like to not have to sit next to some asshole mouth breather. I'd like you to get me to Connecticut without colliding with another train. We can't always get what we want."

Jen Khoury

I might not be a pharmacist, but I'm pretty sure those penis enlargement pills at the gas station don't actually work. And any guy buying those pills probably has bigger problems than the size of their dick.

Adam Isserlis

I'm at a charity gala-thing at someone's home. It's half Real Housewives of New Jersey, half Atlanta, and just a touch of OC. It's amazing.

Video: Oklahoma Tornado Victim Finds Her Missing Dog LIVE on TV

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Tue, 21 May 2013 16:26:00 +0000

Watch this heartwarming video of an Oklahoma resident, and victim of the tornado, as she's interviewed by a CBS news crew. At around 1:40 seconds, something magical happens.

Now my questions:

Why did NO ONE from CBS try and help her get the dog out? Shame on you!
How long was the dog there? I feel like this is a very big deal and no one was like, "Holy shit! This is amazing!!!" Am I right here???

Your thoughts? Also, I'm really happy they've found Toto. But, it's such a shame that Dorothy's really let herself go. #ZING

*Thank you to Kevin Gondres for the share

TV TimeZ: May 21

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Tue, 21 May 2013 13:52:00 +0000

What should I watch tonight?

Lifetime: Extreme Moms at 9p

Oxygen: Bad Girls All Star Battle at 9p

BET: The Game at 10p

TLC: 19 Kids and Counting at 9p

NBC: Grimm at 10p

ABC: The Bachelor: The Bachelor's Funniest Moments, Dancing with the Stars: The Results Show

FOX: So You Think You Can Dance

NBC: The Voice, Grimm

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention: May 20

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Tue, 21 May 2013 13:43:00 +0000

You people made me laugh today:

Jared Kahn

Just got a, "courtesy wave" from a baby in a car seat..

Brian Pol

Sterility will be very very soon with Heather Alofs-pollack — at Palm Beach Urology Associates.

Colleen Krenzer

Never forget how easily simple phrases can make a person's day. "I love you." "Have a great day." "Why don't I write you a prescription for codeine-laced cough syrup."

Krispy Kreme gives out free key lime doughnuts!

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Mon, 20 May 2013 18:20:00 +0000

On Wednesday, May 22nd, check-in at your local participating Krispy Kreme on Foursquare and get a free key lime doughnut!

Enjoy!

TV TimeZ: May 20

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Mon, 20 May 2013 13:55:00 +0000

WHAT SHOULD I WATCH TONIGHT?

A&E: Bates Motel at 10p

CBS: Rules of Engagement at 8:30p, Mike & Molly at 9:30p, Hawaii Five-0 at 10p

Showtime: The Big C: Hereafter at 10p

Sundance: Rectify at 10p

ABC: Dancing With the Stars, Motive

CBS: Rules of Engagement, Mike & Molly, Hawaii Five-0

CW: Oh Sit!, Oh Sit!

FOX: , The Goodwin Games, New Girl, The Mindy Project

NBC: The Voice, Revolution

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention: May 16

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Thu, 16 May 2013 21:38:00 +0000

You people made me laugh today:

Dan DeMiglio

Live like today is your last!!
But use a condom and pay your bills just in case

Jesse Brukman

Violence is never the answer, unless the question is "what is never the answer?"

Nick Baily

I think Ford should change their name to "Anal" cars. Would add a lot in front of their line of models such as the Probe, Explorer, Excursion, Expedition, and so on.

Marc Camosci

Hey girls!! You ever heard of magic sex?? No??? How do you have that you ask!!?? We fuck..and then you disappear! TADA BITCH!! Ill be here all week...

Hillary Povar

My neighbors are doing the lamest work out videos that I can hear whilst I'm working. You own a [fancy] BMW, get a gym membership. The end. #Vent

Suzanne Lyons

It's really ridiculous that Port Authority does not have wifi ...

He left a note in a boat: The Boston Bomber Truth

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Thu, 16 May 2013 21:13:00 +0000

Here's a little vent session from always-welcome guest blogger Rae Patrick. Your thoughts?

A CONVENIENT TRUTH - THE BOSTON BOMBER'S ALLEGED CONFESSION FOUND INSIDE THE BOAT - By Rae Patrick

I don't know if the "information age" and the shortening American attention span is putting too much pressure on our government to provide immediate answers and swift justice, or if in a post 9-11 world we don't feel safe unless we know exactly who did what, why they did it, and where they are now, but there seems to be an increasing need to solve things beyond a shadow of a doubt - even if that means creating false evidence/information. I won't get started on Benghazi because there are a lot of additional components to that whole incident, but this CBS News story about Tsarnaev's note is just unbelievable. It's even set up to be easily retractable if the public doesn't bite.

It has been more than a month since the Boston Marathon bombings, so why are they are just now reporting that Tsarnaev wrote a message on an interior wall of the boat he was captured in, confessing to the bombings and explaining his motives? Shouldn't this have been breaking news within a day or so of them finding him in the boat? Wouldn't this have eliminated all the confusion around his arrest and his family? I'll be interested to see if they claim the note was "just uncovered" or if they "purposely waited to release this information," but I bet if they public raises any questions, it will be denounced as "a false report based on misinformation."

The story is written based on "anonymous sources," and a spokesperson from the FBI "declined to confirm or deny the report". Really? How about taking accountability for the news that is printed BEFORE you see how it is received by the public.

The story quotes a CBS reporter, who they note is a FORMER spokesperson for the FBI, as stating, "Basically, the note says ... the bombings were retribution for the U.S. crimes against Muslims in places like Iraq and Afghanistan and that the victims of the Boston bombing were 'collateral damage,' the same way innocent victims have been collateral damage in U.S. wars around the world."

Why is there no copy of this so-called note for people to read and interpret themselves? The reporter's summation of the note seems awfully convenient. It places the Boston bombings directly in alignment with the ongoing conflict between the United States and Iraq and Afghanistan (which are oddly specific examples for Tsarnaev to include in what he thought would be his last words), It plays into the us vs. them mentality that led us to war with Iraq and Afghanistan in 2001, and perpetuates the vilification of all Muslims. If anything is going to get people to stop asking questions, these three things have a decade-long track record of satiating the public.

CBS News goes to say that "the note summed up with the idea that "when you attack one Muslim, you attack all Muslims," creating an association between the attack and all Muslims, and that "Tsarnaev described his older brother and fellow suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev, 26, who died in a gunbattle with police, as "a martyr,"" a word that stirs up fear from the attacks on 9-11 and suggests that this behavior is perceived as honorable to followers of Islam.

Can someone just tell us the truth? Enough with "anonymous sources" and stories that "can't be confirmed or denied" by the FBI. No more statements like "the note summed up with the idea that" or "basically, the note says..." If you have information to release, just release it. If the note isn't in English, provide us with the literal English translation or let us translate it ourselves. Call me naiive, but I've had it with the twisting and spinning of the news. Don't we criticize other countries for this? THIS IS AMERICA! LET'S START ACTING LIKE IT.

TV TimeZ: May 16

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Thu, 16 May 2013 13:14:00 +0000

What should I watch tonight?

CBS: The Big Bang Theory at 8p, Elementary at 9p

CW: The Vampire Diaries at 8p, Beauty and the Beast at 9p

FOX: American Idol at 8p

ABC: Wipe Out, Grey's Anatomy, Scandal

NBC: The Office IN RETROSPECT, The Office SERIES FINALE, Hannibal

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention: May 15

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Thu, 16 May 2013 01:55:00 +0000

You people made me laugh today

Ben Mehl

This guy just cut in front of me in line at Starbucks, but I'm not even mad because he's wearing cargo shorts. He has enough problems.

Erica Munger-Stigliano

I can lend you a pen

James Mulcahy

Confirmed: OldSpice attracts pretty much everyone. Lots of "What's are you wearing?!," followed by drool lately.

Erin O'Neill

you guys, it's been six years since I've had a triscuit, a cheez-it, or a krispy kreme donut. so basically, nabisco, kellogg's, and krispy kreme - get on the gluten free bandwagon, pretty pretty please. all the cool kids are doing it.

Nancy Martira

I'm just going to assume Baz Luhrmann's adaptation of Gatsby cures cancer. That's the only reason that could explain this level of coverage

Bryce Gruber

You eat kale and wear Tory Burch? How cutting edge.

Becky Vieira

Want to be sure I mark my calendar - does anyone know when the ceremony will be held to anoint Angelina into sainthood?

Alicia Corbett

Please STOP with the game requests already. I'm for serious. Knock. It. Off.

Meryl Serouya

Trying to figure out what season it is.

Aly Walansky

Crazy ass thunder going on outside. My hair got home just in time.

Scott Lazerson

Like last year's Pulitzer Prize for fiction, the winner of 'American Idol' should be NOBODY.

Matt Sullivan

If you didn't like Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby, you'd HATE Baz Luhrmann's Catcher In The Rye

David Burke Partners with Crumbs Bake Shop

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Wed, 15 May 2013 21:44:00 +0000

Crumbs Bake Shop announced a co-branding agreement with Chef and Restaurateur David Burke. Well known for his inventive modern American cuisine, Burke has been tapped to create and produce an exclusive line of fresh gourmet sandwiches and salads.

This will launch in mid-June at select Crumbs locations in Manhattan and the NYC metropolitan area, with the intention to roll out to other markets. (Read: depending on how good they do in sales.)

So New Yorkers, if you want your cake and eat some tasty sandwiches too, now here's your chance!

For more information, visit: www.crumbs.com

Game of the Porcelain Thrones

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Wed, 15 May 2013 20:41:00 +0000

OBVIOUSLY I would be writing a post like this...right?

Seeing as how hubby and I just purchased our first home, I was really 'turned on' by a pitch I received from Build.com, the leading online-only home improvement retailer. Since we're redoing our bathrooms before we move in, I've actually been doing a lot of research on toilet bowls, believe it or not. I couldn't help but laugh when I received information about the site's toilet sales and just bathroom remodeling information in general!

Here are some of the fun facts I thought I'd share. I hope you're ready to take a whiff of what Build.com is about to drop:

New York ranked #1 in Build.com's Frequent Flushers List, making 12.8% of toilet and toilet part sales.

December was the least popular month nationwide for buying toilet and toilet parts, while October was the most popular month. (I don't get it, no one wants a new toilet for Christmas?)

In 2012, the site had over 32, 578 toilets purchased. Is that not insane?

The site is FULL of awesome stuff for the home - from decor to lighting to furniture! Check it out.

Casting CallZ: Brides and Bridal Parties!

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Wed, 15 May 2013 19:32:00 +0000

MTV & dLt Productions NOW CASTING BRIDES AND BRIDAL PARTIES

NOW SEEKING brides and bridal parties for a FUN, NEW docu-series on MTV! Are you just about to choose your Maid of Honor? Do you have the FUNNEST bridal party ever? Are YOU the Maid of Honor for your BFF's wedding and you have to do EVERYTHING (including hiding issues from the bride to keep her happy and worry-free)?

Bridal parties MUST meet the following criteria to be considered:

Under the age of 26 and will be part of a wedding that takes place between November 2013 and February 2014
Currently planning engagement parties, showers, bachelorette parties, and other bridal events

Contact WeddingPartyCasting@gmail.com for consideration and let them know ZlataThoughts sent you!

TV TimeZ: May 15

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Wed, 15 May 2013 15:08:00 +0000

What should I watch tonight?

CW: Arrow at 8p, Supernatural at 9p

Syfy: Deep South Paranormal at 10p

ABC: The Middle, Family Tools, Modern Family, How to Live with Your Parents, Nashville

CBS: Criminal Minds, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation

FOX: American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance

NBC: Dateline NBC, Law & Order: SVU, Chicago Fire

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention: May 14

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Wed, 15 May 2013 01:54:00 +0000

You people made me laugh today:

Roland Brian Alonzi

Dear iPhone, you can go ahead and safely assume that I am trying to type fuck, not duck. All. The. Time.

Kurt Drewes

I always find it funny when people post strong opinions and get no "likes"

Nancy Martira

Lies I tell my dog: This chicken nugget? Oh, no reason. Certainly not because it fell on the floor.

Roland Brian Alonzi

So they finally revealed the "mother" on the "How I Met Your Mother" season finale. So glad. Now I can stop pretending I give two fucks about that show.

Bryce Gruber

If it has tires or testicles, it will give you problems.

Marc Camosci

If you think someone is giving you a fake number...read it back to them incorrectly. If they correct you, it's legit.

Sarah Horne Grose

At work: My nanny just sent me a lovely picture of Axel reading a book titled "Where is Baby's Mommy?"

Maya Korzhen

There is nothing quite like realizing u lost track of a spider inside ur car while driving...sheer panic

Jake Szymanski

Is anyone making t-shirts and coffee mugs for people that DO do mornings?

FTD Launches Exclusive Vera Wang Wedding Collection

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Tue, 14 May 2013 20:16:00 +0000

FTD is one of the leading providers of flowers and gifts and today they've come out with some exciting news.

The Vera Wang Wedding Collection will be available exclusively through FTD and includes statement designs for the bride, groom, wedding party, ceremony and reception - all of which were designed by the one and only Vera Wang.

With three different available styles, there's certainly something for every bride's taste! Through collaboration, the FTD florist near you will provide the inspiration and excellent service that is vital to the preparation of any wedding day.

The Traditionalist

Classic whites and creams for the true traditionalist couple. With an abundance of subtle white variations as well as a range of flower varieties and forms, white is a richly classic choice.

The Romanticist

Soft and sweet pink prevails as the ideal bridal color for romance. Pink is the romantic symbol of love and admiration. Celebrate the sweetness of your union with nature's most beautiful hue.

The Modernist

Soft, subtle lavender with a touch of pink and mauve combine to make this wonderful, memorable bridal color scheme

Visit www.FTD.com for more information!

TV TimeZ: May 14

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Tue, 14 May 2013 13:09:00 +0000

What should I watch tonight?

CBS: NCIS at 8p, NCIS: Los Angeles at 9p, Golden Boy at 10p

FOX: So You Think Your Can Dance at 8p, New Girl at 9 p, The Mindy Project at 9:30p

Spike: World's Worst Tenants at 10p

ABC: Wipeout, Dancing with the Stars, Body of Proof

CW: Leap Year

NBC: The Voice, The Voice, Grimm

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth A Mention: May 13

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Tue, 14 May 2013 01:25:00 +0000

You people made me laugh today:

Roland Brian Alonzi

Look, Mother's Day is over. And while I am happy that I won't have to look at any more pictures of your mothers, I don't know what is worse: that or the stupid fucking inspirational quotes and "Keep Calm" memes that are sure to once again pop up in my timeline.

Brianne Killinger

It's official. Everyone I know in NYC has posted a picture of Bluth's Original Frozen Banana Stand.

Kristen DiVita-Sterople

started using a dry erase board in my office today, makes me feel like I'm an 8 year old playing teacher

Jesse Brukman

The only dudes who don't cheat on Mad Men: Mr. Joan Harris (rapist), Cooper (eunuch) Ken Cosgrove (writer) #goodcompany

Jennifer Graylock

Just a thought. Deodorant press line photographers...deodorant. PLEASE

Trisha Tobin Danze

My milk will be over the hill on the same day that I will. Shall we see which one spoils first?

Stephanie Rachel

First spam email today at work has the subject line - We know where the money is. I open it in hopes it says - in the banana stand.

Rachel Wallins

Why are there always, always chicken bones on the street in NYC?

Lauryn Kahn

Most times I barely get one letter right in a word when I'm texting and I'm all like "Now figure it out iPhone! My thumbs is tired."

Amanda Green

At a certain point, shouldn't a subway be Manhattan-ridden, not Manhattan-bound?

Meagan Murphy

Thisiswhyyouresingle.com/forever

TV TimeZ: May 13

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Mon, 13 May 2013 13:18:00 +0000

What should I watch tonight?

Nat Geo: Going Ape at 10p

Military: Bullet Points at 10p

ABC: Dancing With the Stars

CBS: How I Met Your Mother, 2 Broke Girls, Mike & Molly, Hawaii Five-0

CW: 90210

FOX: Hell's Kitchen

NBC: The Voice, Revolution

5 apps all you wine drinkers out there need to download

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Sat, 11 May 2013 22:24:00 +0000

So you’re on your way to a dinner party and trying to find a liquor store…

So you’re trying to decide what bottle to pair with what dish…

So you’re trying to figure out how many calories are in the glass you’re knocking back…

This article originally appeared on Tech Page One, Dell's blog about insights from the evolving world of tech.

Five apps you oenophiles should download:

-Z-Z-Z-Z-------READ MORE-------Z-Z-Z-Z-

Some Facebook Status Updates are worth a mention: May 10

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Fri, 10 May 2013 20:40:00 +0000

You people made me laugh today:

Ben Mehl

"Girrrrrrl, you trippin'!... You need some orthotics." --me, as a Podiatrist.

Margarita Simone

consumer ratings=the good old 'thank you' cards

Matthew Kirschner

I'm sorry, is Suri Cruise really "launching a fashion line"? So at 7 years old she will have her own label, designs etc? I'm almost 27 and just happy that I can dress myself every morning.

Jeff Lewonczyk

QUESTION FOR MY FACEBOOK FRIENDS: Every time you are near, do birds suddenly appear? And if so, why?

Suzanne Lyons

Waiting for PSE&G to arrive between 12-4pm is like waiting for a 16 year old boy to call after you slip him your number in social studies. You want to believe he'll call, but deep down you know he lost your number on purpose and that he doesn't care that you have cracked dry hands because the dishwasher is broken.

Skeery Jones

Pfister? I didn't even know her. — at The Pfister Hotel.

Bryce Gruber

The best way to teach children about taxes is to eat at least 30 percent of their dessert.

Megan Severs

Just another day at the office.

Giveaway time! $200 from SALT

noreply@blogger.com (Zlata Thoughts) — Fri, 10 May 2013 19:12:00 +0000

SALTMoney (www.SALTMoney.org) is a free, non-profit resource that provides simple, smart, personalized ways to take control of student debt and manage your money. SALT is a helpful tool for those who are looking to maximize their lifestyle without having to break the bank.

The company believes that 20-somethings (and let's not forget the uber-scholarly 30-somethings) shouldn't have to be afraid of student debt and finances. Like a wingman for your wallet, they provide expert tools and tips as an unbiased resource to better understand the often scary student loan world...and get on the track to being a financial BOSS in general.

Personally, I feel extremely fortunate to have had parents who paid for my education. Of course, I helped out by being a Resident Advisor (insert scolding cap here) and thereby 'paid' for my own room and board. I know a lot of people who had and continue to have student loans to pay off. I can only hope that I can do for my children what my parents were able to do for me.

To enter the $200 giveaway, you must visit SALTMoney and register, then browse around. In the comments section here, let me know the most coolest/most helpful piece of information you learned while on their website. The winner of a $200 AmEx gift card will be chosen at random!

IT'S THAT SIMPLE!

Winner will be selected on Friday, May 31st.

I Have Zlata Thoughts

PHOTO: Amanda Bynes' Mug Shot

TV TimeZ: Memorial Day Weekend

WHAT SHOULD I WATCH FRIDAY?

WHAT SHOULD I WATCH SUNDAY?

TV TimeZ: May 22

What should I watch tonight?

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention: May 21

You know when you go to give someone a compliment and you take it a little too far and it borders on creepy and uncomfortable? That seems to be my M.O.

Seriously, what is the purpose of unscented deoderant?

the brief, magical NYC moment where the grass is really green, the smells haven't permeated the subway, and office ACs aren't cranked up to -80 degrees.

I might not be a pharmacist, but I'm pretty sure those penis enlargement pills at the gas station don't actually work. And any guy buying those pills probably has bigger problems than the size of their dick.

I'm at a charity gala-thing at someone's home. It's half Real Housewives of New Jersey, half Atlanta, and just a touch of OC. It's amazing.

Video: Oklahoma Tornado Victim Finds Her Missing Dog LIVE on TV

TV TimeZ: May 21

What should I watch tonight?

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention: May 20

You people made me laugh today:

Just got a, "courtesy wave" from a baby in a car seat..

Sterility will be very very soon with Heather Alofs-pollack — at Palm Beach Urology Associates.

Never forget how easily simple phrases can make a person's day. "I love you." "Have a great day." "Why don't I write you a prescription for codeine-laced cough syrup."

Krispy Kreme gives out free key lime doughnuts!

TV TimeZ: May 20

WHAT SHOULD I WATCH TONIGHT?

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention: May 16

You people made me laugh today:

Live like today is your last!!But use a condom and pay your bills just in case

Violence is never the answer, unless the question is "what is never the answer?"

I think Ford should change their name to "Anal" cars. Would add a lot in front of their line of models such as the Probe, Explorer, Excursion, Expedition, and so on.

Hey girls!! You ever heard of magic sex?? No??? How do you have that you ask!!?? We fuck..and then you disappear! TADA BITCH!! Ill be here all week...

My neighbors are doing the lamest work out videos that I can hear whilst I'm working. You own a [fancy] BMW, get a gym membership. The end. #Vent

It's really ridiculous that Port Authority does not have wifi ...

He left a note in a boat: The Boston Bomber Truth

Here's a little vent session from always-welcome guest blogger Rae Patrick. Your thoughts?

A CONVENIENT TRUTH - THE BOSTON BOMBER'S ALLEGED CONFESSION FOUND INSIDE THE BOAT - By Rae Patrick

TV TimeZ: May 16

What should I watch tonight?

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention: May 15

You people made me laugh today

This guy just cut in front of me in line at Starbucks, but I'm not even mad because he's wearing cargo shorts. He has enough problems.

I can lend you a pen

Confirmed: OldSpice attracts pretty much everyone. Lots of "What's are you wearing?!," followed by drool lately.

you guys, it's been six years since I've had a triscuit, a cheez-it, or a krispy kreme donut. so basically, nabisco, kellogg's, and krispy kreme - get on the gluten free bandwagon, pretty pretty please. all the cool kids are doing it.

I'm just going to assume Baz Luhrmann's adaptation of Gatsby cures cancer. That's the only reason that could explain this level of coverage

You eat kale and wear Tory Burch? How cutting edge.

Want to be sure I mark my calendar - does anyone know when the ceremony will be held to anoint Angelina into sainthood?

Please STOP with the game requests already. I'm for serious. Knock. It. Off.

Trying to figure out what season it is.

Crazy ass thunder going on outside. My hair got home just in time.

Like last year's Pulitzer Prize for fiction, the winner of 'American Idol' should be NOBODY.

If you didn't like Baz Luhrmann's The Great Gatsby, you'd HATE Baz Luhrmann's Catcher In The Rye

David Burke Partners with Crumbs Bake Shop

Game of the Porcelain Thrones

Casting CallZ: Brides and Bridal Parties!

MTV & dLt Productions NOW CASTING BRIDES AND BRIDAL PARTIES

TV TimeZ: May 15

What should I watch tonight?

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth a Mention: May 14

You people made me laugh today:

Dear iPhone, you can go ahead and safely assume that I am trying to type fuck, not duck. All. The. Time.

I always find it funny when people post strong opinions and get no "likes"

Lies I tell my dog: This chicken nugget? Oh, no reason. Certainly not because it fell on the floor.

So they finally revealed the "mother" on the "How I Met Your Mother" season finale. So glad. Now I can stop pretending I give two fucks about that show.

If it has tires or testicles, it will give you problems.

If you think someone is giving you a fake number...read it back to them incorrectly. If they correct you, it's legit.

At work: My nanny just sent me a lovely picture of Axel reading a book titled "Where is Baby's Mommy?"

There is nothing quite like realizing u lost track of a spider inside ur car while driving...sheer panic

Is anyone making t-shirts and coffee mugs for people that DO do mornings?

FTD Launches Exclusive Vera Wang Wedding Collection

The Traditionalist

The Romanticist

The Modernist

TV TimeZ: May 14

What should I watch tonight?

Some Facebook Status Updates Are Worth A Mention: May 13

You people made me laugh today:

Look, Mother's Day is over. And while I am happy that I won't have to look at any more pictures of your mothers, I don't know what is worse: that or the stupid fucking inspirational quotes and "Keep Calm" memes that are sure to once again pop up in my timeline.

It's official. Everyone I know in NYC has posted a picture of Bluth's Original Frozen Banana Stand.

started using a dry erase board in my office today, makes me feel like I'm an 8 year old playing teacher

The only dudes who don't cheat on Mad Men: Mr. Joan Harris (rapist), Cooper (eunuch) Ken Cosgrove (writer) #goodcompany

Live like today is your last!!
But use a condom and pay your bills just in case