This week we talk religion with Ralph Carl Wushke, the Ecumenical Chaplain at the University of Toronto. We aren’t religious ourselves, but we figured Ralph could pass along some dating and relationship wisdom that anyone can apply. We also asked him about marriage, being gay in the church, and um… what “ecumenical” means…

Theme music as always by Drew Danburry. Other music this week by Szai, pocketjawa, jhampton, DJ Junks, and eugenkiss.

Carol’s boyfriend chose a very bad day to break up with her. We discuss whether it’s okay to be a little bit cruel when you end a relationship. Local girlfriend and snail lover Sonal P. weighs in.

This graph shows break-up frequency over the calendar year, based on Facebook status changes. Seems most people agree Christmas really is a bad time, while Valentine’s Day is kinda okay. Sadly, this can’t tell us if there’s any consensus on the birthday dump. Your thoughts?

Music this week:

“Hang on Little Tomato” by Pink Martini

“Jungle Love” by Matt Hirt

“Baby Baby I Should Have Known” by Jimmy & The Rackets

Image by Photochiel, creative commons, on Flickr.

Lauren went on a first date, and her date hated everything. Hip-hop, friendly people, her own grandma… everything. This week’s show is a cautionary tale for those who can’t quite seem to put their best foot forward.

Thanks to Andrew Norton for doing this interview for us. Theme music as always by Drew Danburry. Additional music by eugenkiss, Dan Semotan, and Steve Rabulan.

Megan and Frank tell us how bipolar II disorder and depression have affected their relationship. JP and Elah come out about their own mental health stuff. It feels scary to even write that.

Music this week:

• Les Shelleys – “The World is Waiting for the Sunrise”
• Essie Jain – “Glory”
• El Capitan – “Happy All the Time”

If this episode didn’t clarify depression for you, maybe Henri le Chat will help:

Bathhouse tales from insiders – this week, we get the lowdown from a customer, as well as Peter Bochove, the legendary Toronto entrepreneur. Pull up a seat, and let us regale you with stories of secret plots, lawsuits, the lengths some people will go to for their soup and crackers, and yes, sex too.

Check out the original post for music credits and comments.

I asked four elders in my family what they wish they’d know about love and relationships when they were younger. Mostly they ignored my questions and freestyled it, but their answers were insightful nonetheless. And sweet and blunt.

TO CAIT’S MOM: Severe cussing warning for the end of this one. Stop when the Elvis cover starts.

Thanks to Dominadora, AK Listens, Dragonsdream and Kevin Luu for the kind reviews and support.

Music this week by Abigail Clarke, as well as the songs below courtesy of IODA. You can download them for free, no logins or strings attached, by clicking the download links below. This might be your last chance to get all these MP3s for free because the service is shutting down! NB: We make no money on this. We just like this music and want to share it.

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Marc Ribot “Delancey Waltz”
• Jimmy & The Rackets “Black Eyes”
• Liberace “The Love Nest”
• Vince Hill “Can’t Help Falling In Love”

Ayla Newhouse is a Toronto-based designer who’s looking at dating and relationships through the lens of design – and working to solve relationship problems using the tools of design. She tells us how ethnographic research helped land her a boyfriend, and about how she’s helping others tackle their dating woes.

Ayla is holding a pre-Valentine’s mixer here in Toronto on February 9th, and you can also check out her upcoming online workshop on Skillshare. You can find more about Ayla and the project at Dating by Design, where you can also grab a free PDF of Ayla’s dating canvas. Image above by Ayla Newhouse.

Theme music by Drew Danburry. Other music this week by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Monster Rally “Color Sky”
• Kishi Bashi “Bright Whites”

—

I am 26 and my girlfriend, Eve, is 22, we have been together for 2 and a half years. We met at university during our 2nd year. We were introduced by mutual friends at the pub, I ‘flirted’ with her by discussing the (dull) subject of ‘Biofuels’ to which Eve was gracious enough to seem interested / alert. I remember that night how I was struck by the fact she was (and still is) absolutely gorgeous. I recall thinking to myself that evening, that no one that stunning would be interested in me or find me remotely attractive. If nothing else had happened, the fact that someone that pretty spoke to me for that long was a result in my mind.

Noticing my interest towards Eve at the pub our friend asked me the next day ‘So, you like Eve, don’t you?’ I had to agree and thought nothing else of it. Later in the week, the friend said that she was attending Eve’s birthday celebration at a comedy night, I uncharacteristically was very brash and asked if I could come as well, she contacted Eve, it was fine with her, and I was informed of the time and location, (it would have been really difficult otherwise).

So I went along, met her close friends, me and Eve got on really well, we shared the same political ideals (the subject both of us studied). For me the evening was a success! And at the end of the night we had a kiss as I left for home. To cut a long story short, we starting going out, getting on really well, masses in common, a shared sense of humour and still slightly confused to how I had managed to attract such an amazing and gorgeous person.

In our 3rd (and final) year Eve became seriously unwell and from here on out things changed, drastically.  When she became ill, it was considered just your normal ‘sick’, she would be ok in a few days, this was especially my perspective. After a week or so she moved back to the family home (she was living in a flat in Brighton) where her mum and dad could look after her.

Eve was later diagnosed with gastroenteritis. Most people would be better after a week or two, but for Eve this took a sledgehammer to her health. It triggered her chronic fatigue and exacerbated her stomach complaints, she couldn’t eat, sleep, even move on bad days. Over the next few months she lost about 50pounds of weight, all her strength and stamina, she became incredibly sensitive to light, sound and temperature, leaving her practically house bound.

Eve has always struggled with her health, from a very young age she suffered from chronic fatigue and other chronic stomach complaints. So when she did become unwell it wasn’t met with the usual shock or heightened concern that would normally happen when a loved one is unwell.

During the summer in 2011, Eve could only see me for about 1 to 2 hours on a Sunday afternoon. I was about a 90mins drive away so my commute amounted to longer than I could spend with Eve. We wouldn’t say a lot during these meetings I would just hold her and gently explain what I had been up to during the week, I remember leaving and seeing the look of sheer exhaustion on her face just from spending an hour or so with me. Seeing Eve like this, someone I love, is something that was really hard for me. For her family it was familiar but for me I felt powerless and useless. I think I am a supportive and caring person so would want to help in anyway I could, but forced into a place where nothing I could do would help is a frustrating and horrible experience.

This was a really hard time for Eve. I think Eve saw the long periods of time spent unwell as a child were behind her. In the first weeks of being unwell she managed to get a job as a trainee teacher! (that’s just how amazing she is!) But, after being ill for the first 8 weeks of when she was meant to start, she was called in when they informed her they had cancelled her contract. Eve was using her desire to start this new job as a reason to struggle through and get better as soon as possible. In a single phone call she was dealt another sledgehammer to her confidence and emotions. I called her, she was in tears and didn’t want to speak to me, once again I felt powerless to help, no advice I could offer or comforting words would make it better.

Eve has now been unwell for about 18 months and not for one instance have I thought I should end our relationship. I was told by a friend, who also suffered with the same illness as Eve as a child, that I was unusual for sticking with Eve as most people who have a long-term ill partner leave them (especially in the early days of a relationship). Having our year together before Eve became ill, reminded me what an amazing time we have together and although it’s not certain she will ever be the same again, the slightest chance that we can have those times again is enough for me.

Eve is obviously sad about her illness and when she is upset I want to be supportive and positive, in a vain attempt to make her feel better. I felt that I could never tell Eve how her illness is making me feel, even though she does ask how I am doing, so I hide my emotions and have never spoken about it from my perspective. Last week we spoke about how I felt about her illness for the first time and I broke down. We went out for a ‘date’ earlier in the evening for the first time since she became ill and the feelings about the days before she was ill came rushing back, how I miss those times so much, and long for days like those to happen again.

Speaking about how I feel should be touched upon every now and then, but for me it still feels selfish to have any negative emotion about it. I’m not ill, I’m not the one struggling, Eve is, I can’t feel sad about it. I realise that this isn’t the best way to go about things and ignoring these feelings could turn into something I might hold against Eve and I would never want that to happen. Being in a relationship with someone who is ill is difficult. There is no getting away from it, but I am very grateful for what we can do and the strong relationship we have. Going through all this makes me feel we can survive pretty much anything life might throw at us.

A conversation with Carlyle Jansen (founder of Good for Her) about how she’s keeping her relationship fresh and fulfilling by re-evaluating it every year. Carlyle incorporated a Celtic handfasting into her wedding ceremony, and in doing so she’s committing to her partner for a year and a day. This means every anniversary is a chance to evaluate how they’re doing, and set goals for the coming year. Can this kind of quasi workplace performance evaluation help a relationship thrive? We think it just might.

This episode was inspired by a talk Carlyle gave at TEDx Toronto. During our conversation Carlyle mentions an article by Dr. Peggy Kleinplatz titled The components of optimal sexuality: a portrait of “great sex”.

Theme music by Drew Danburry, other music this week by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• The Cactus Channel “The Colour of Don Don”
• Delicate Steve “Love”

Marissa had been with her partner for two years when the proposal came. She had two options: say yes to a marriage she wasn’t ready for, or say no, and likely break up. We talked to her about what happened.

Music in this episode:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Amy LaVere “Stranger Me”
• STRFKR “Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second”
• The Kin “Change Is Gonna Come”

Janet had been seeing Aaron for a few weeks, and she knew she couldn’t wait much longer to tell him. They had fallen for each other fast, and it seemed like things would only get better – but how would Aaron react when she told him she was transgender?

UPDATE: A documentary-style version of this story aired on the CBC’s Sunday Edition!

More details and music downloads available in original post.

If you have sex with someone and don’t tell them you’re HIV positive, you can go to jail. You’re only off the hook if you use a condom and have a low viral load, according to last month’s Canadian Supreme Court ruling.

HIV, the judges reasoned, continues to be a serious, life-threatening infection, so exposing others to even a slight risk of transmission without their knowledge should be punishable by law. Opponents fear this will further stigmatize those who are HIV-positive, and say these rules ignore the actual science – that the risk of transmission by those who use a condom or have an undetectable viral load is negligible.

But what about people who’ve been infected through non-disclosure – the victims the law’s supposed to protect?

Jessica Whitbread contracted HIV a decade ago from a boyfriend who’d been dishonest with her. A few years later, he was convicted of aggravated sexual assault for failing to disclose his HIV status to two other women. In this rerun, Jessica shares her story and tells us why she thinks non-disclosure shouldn’t be a crime.

Original post, including music credits.

Konstantine and Salina met in Grade 1 at Faywood Elementary School in Toronto. By grade 4 Konstantine had developed feelings for Salina, and maintained that crush right through to grade 8. They parted ways and went to different high schools, and different universities – but that’s not where the story ends.

Here’s a video of Konstantine and Salina dancing together, in grade 2:

Huge thanks to Konstantine and Salina for sharing their story with us. Theme music, as always, by Drew Danburry. Other music by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Maurice and the Beejays “The Further Adventures of our Man Friday”
• Phantom Blues Band “Mary Ann”
• Tuatara “Falling Pianos”
• Anne Garner “Stones (instrumental)”
• Tycho “Hours”
• The Cactus Channel “Emanuel Ciccolini”
• This Will Destroy You “Quiet”
• This Will Destroy You “Freedom Blade”
• Jill Barber “Chances”
• Delicate Steve “Love”

Lindsay Miller says she wasn’t born gay – she chose it. Why is that a problem for so many people?

To learn more about what “queer by choice” means to Lindsay, you can read her article in the Atlantic  and a more recent article where she explains why “bisexual” doesn’t cover it for her.

Above: JP & Elah as babies. We submit to you that they were not gay or straight babies, though their lifelong love of breasts manifested early.

Music this week by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Jimmy & The Rackets “Black Eyes”
• Matt Hirt “Jungle Love”
• Heather Mac Rae “I Choose Love”

This week JP and Elah play matchmaker and send real people on real dates! The catch? Our volunteer Nicole has to pick the gentlemen using smell alone. Will her favorite smell also be her favorite date? We’ll reveal all at the end of the show.

This episode uses tape from a pilot we made for CBC Radio. It was intended to be the first in a series where we’d test out a different matchmaking method every week. Sadly, it won’t be going forward beyond the pilot, but we had fun making it and really appreciate CBC’s support and guidance during the production process. We also appreciate that they allowed us to turn the tape into an I Like You episode. Note that what you’re hearing isn’t the pilot, and hasn’t been approved by CBC. So basically, don’t blame them if you don’t like it.

If you’ve got a great radio show or podcast idea, you can pitch it the same way we did at cbc.ca/pitch

Theme music as always by Drew Danburry, other music this week by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• The Cactus Channel “The Colour of Don Don”
• Panik “Lonely Hunter”
• The Cactus Channel “Emanuel Ciccolini”
• General Elektriks “Raid the Radio”

Michelle hates being single, despite the many benefits. We investigate why.

Pictured above: the Boyfriend Pillow. There was a time, not so long ago, when Elah seriously considered investing in one of these handy little suckers.

I didn’t do the best job of selling the single life, but take a look at “How to Be Alone” by Andrea Dorfman and Tanya Davis. It’ll make you feel full and excited about aloneness.

Music this week:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Lillix “Dance Alone”
• Tim Halperin “I Wanna Fall In Love”

Kat Angus was the cool ex: she got over her breakup with Brandon quickly, and they stayed friends. Then things went bad. An email was sent to Brandon’s new girlfriend – it was filled with lovey words from Kat – and pictures…

Big thanks this week to Kat for sharing her story. If you have a story to share, email us.

Theme music, as always, by Drew Danburry. Additional music by Hellenica and:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Danny Fox Trio “Trudge”
• Empty Set “My Girl’s On The Other Side Of The World”
• Gordon Grdina’s Haram “En Shakawt al Hawa”
• Sean Noonan “Banshee Dance”
• Maurice and the Beejays “The Further Adventures of our Man Friday”
• General Elektriks “Raid the Radio”
• Kishi Bashi “Bright Whites”

Elah’s mom spent most of her life feeling unattractive, but in some ways, it was the best thing that ever happened to her – and in other, more obvious ways, it was the worst.

Music this week:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• The Weeks “Hold It, Kid
• Rodriguez “Sugar Man”
• Pickering Pick “Like A River”

Love is for chumps. This week, we revisit one of our earliest episodes, guest starring JP’s ex and Elah’s stepdad. Sondra tells us how the L word ruined her relationship, and Amos offers his alternative to romantic love.

See the original post for full details and featured music.

This week we have four short stories from fantastic contributors. They all have to do with the beginning, middle, and/or end of a relationship. Huge thanks to Dave Pickering, Jonathan Harris, Whitney Jones, and Dave Huth for letting us use their stories on the show. Also thanks to Cowbird – a great storytelling site where three of this week’s stories were originally published.

Original links to contributor’s stories:

Jen by Dave Pickering (in GBA Podcast #1)

Something Worth Waiting For by Jonathan Harris

First Love and 27 Other Firsts by Whitney Jones

Metamorphosis by Dave Huth

Theme music as always by Drew Danburry, additional music by Abigail Clarke and:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• General Elektriks “Facing That Void”
• General Elektriks “Raid the Radio”
• The Reign of Kindo “Nightingale”
• ApSci “Crazy Crazy Insane”
• Kishi Bashi “Bright Whites”

You’re with someone, they get sick, and you want to end the relationship – should you stay and support them, or is it better to be honest and leave? Someone recently wrote the Ethicist with essentially this question. His answer? Wait it out, at least until your partner is feeling better, more optimistic about his condition.

Alicia Merchant, our guest this week, had a pretty different perspective. She was 23 and in a relationship when she first got cancer, and her partner stayed with her.

There was a lot of interesting stuff that didn’t fit into this week’s episode, so I recommend visiting Alicia’s blog where she writes about her experiences living with cancer: alittlebitworse.wordpress.com

Music this week:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Fox in the Henhouse “Fears”
• Wild Nothing “Golden Haze”

Do you know everything you need to know about sex? More importantly – do students in elementary and high schools? We explore the often hilarious, sometimes troubling, and always awkward world of sex ed, with help from contributor Sierra Bellows – who did a fantastic putting together these stories. Sierra also points us to this great article about sex ed from the New York Times.

[Update: Astute listeners may notice that one of the stories has been removed from this updated version of the episode. In the interest of transparency we felt we should pass along what happened. Sierra spoke to a sex educator who requested that her story be removed, presumably for professional reasons. We stand by the story and Sierra's work on it, but we decided to comply with the request. We don't want to put anyone's job at risk. It's just unfortunate that the interviewee only came to us after the story had been published.]

Our theme music, as always, is provided by Drew Danburry. Other music featured in this episode is available as a free MP3 download:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Tuatara “Falling Pianos”
• Tender Trap “Do You Want A Boyfriend?”
• Tuatara “25th & 6th”
• Kishi Bashi “Bright Whites”

Catherine was 13 and living in rural New Hampshire when she decided it was time to lose her virginity. And it went great! No, no, it didn’t…

Watch Catherine McCormick’s genius original telling of the story at Toronto’s MothUP (now Raconteurs). You should also look her up @McCormCorp and at her blog, or listen to her Pop Comedy Podcast with Natalie Norman.

Music this week:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• JReign “Just a Text”
• Star & Micey “So Much Pain (feat. Luther Dickinson)”
• Lene Lovich “I Think We’re Alone Now”

Karley Sciortino is the creator Slutever, a blog that recently expanded into a video series for VICE. She tells us about how she acquired an internet sex slave named Book Bitch who bought her all kinds of gifts from Amazon.com and even paid her rent for a while. She’s a brave sexual adventurer, which is fascinating to us, because we’re so shy and full of shame.

Theme music by Drew Danburry – other music by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Philharmonic Wind Orchestra, Marc Reift “It’s A Small World”
• Starfucker “Jamie”
• Starfucker “Boy Toy”

Letters to exes. A big thank you to our contributors Merrin Lazyan, Dave Pickering (of the GBA Podcast), Casey, David, Andy, and anonymous others, as well as Leah for reading.

Music this week:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Amy LaVere – “Stranger Me”
• Collection Get – “I Know”
• Marc Ribot – “Delancey Waltz”
• This Will Destroy You – “Quiet”
• The Haywards – “The Boy & Girl We Used To Be”

We’re guestless this week as we discuss jealousy and envy. Listen to learn when to trust your gut and when to ignore it – and to hear an important reminder about following your dreams and not murdering anyone.

Got a great relationship story or topic you’d like to hear on the show? Email us.

Theme music by Drew Danburry. Here are the other songs we used this week – FREE MP3 downloads:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• The Features “How It Starts”
• The Features “Fats Domino”
• Kishi Bashi “Bright Whites”
• Starfucker “Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second”

Sage moved across the country to be with a boy she met on the internet. They had spent just four days together. But this was NOT her biggest mistake. Original post with music credits.

Two strangers sign a contract to fall in love with each other. Can they make it happen? Is love something that strikes us if we’re lucky and fizzles out if we aren’t, or do we have more control over the process than we realize? We spoke with Dr. Robert Epstein about his love contract with a lovely woman he met on a plane one (fateful?) Christmas Day. We discuss what he thinks we can do to make ourselves fall in love and stay that way. Even if you’re not convinced, you should try some of the exercises suggested in this article with your partner. They sound very pleasant.

**Apologies for the less-than-amazing audio quality in this episode, but it’s a really interesting story!**

Try Dr. Epstein’s compatibility quiz at AreWeGoodTogether.com to find out if you and your partner are a good match, and his relationship skills quiz at MyLoveSkills.com.

Music in this episode:

Elliott Smith – “Needle In The Hay”

Allo Darlin’ -  “If Loneliness Was Art”

Tim Halperin – “I Wanna Fall In Love”

Right now we’re looking for Toronto-based single men and women interested in dating opposite-sex partners for our smell-based matchmaking experiment (for science!). It’s a little convoluted, but we think it’ll be a lot of fun – here’s how it’ll work:

Guys who choose to participate will be asked to wear a white t-shirt to bed (alone) two nights in a row. Five other guys will do the same. Our lovely female participant will give each of the six shirts a whiff, and rank her choices. We’ll send her out on dates with two of the six guys, and record audio of the whole thing. So at worst you wear a shirt and do a super-quick interview – and at best we’ll pay for you to go on a date or two, and interview you before and after.

Our show is upbeat and lighthearted, and we’ll always try to make our guests sound good. We’re only taping audio, but we’ll also want to get a quick photo of you for the website. We can leave out your last name if you prefer.

Wanna give it a shot? Just email us@ilikeyoupodcast.com as soon as you can – we really appreciate your help! We’ll want to feature same-sex lovin’ ladies and gents on future shows too – so throw your name in the hat now and we’ll let you know when we start work on those episodes.

Thanks!

JP & Elah

The tables are turned, as we get interviewed by Dave, the charming host of Getting Better Acquainted. The plan was to talk about the making of I Like You, but the conversation went unexpected places, and we all ended up getting to know each other MUCH better than intended.

This is an abridged version of a GBA podcast scheduled to air March 7th. Hear the full interview at gettingbetteracquainted.co.uk!

Music this week:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Star & Micey “So Much Pain (feat. Luther Dickinson)”
• Betty Wright “Pain”
• Jimmy & The Rackets “Black Eyes”

Biscuit and Toast are engaged in an epic bet: whoever gets married first wins. The loser sings a solo at the winner’s wedding. They’ve been at it for two years, blogging every date, and assigning a probability of marriage to every girl. They call it The Wed or Dead Wager.

Huuuge thanks to foreign correspondent Kit Lovelace for bringing us this story.

Ever tried to change a partner?  The way they act? The way they talk? The way they have sex?  This week JP and Elah try to figure out if it can be done, and if so, how. [view original show notes, comments, and music credits]

Janet had been seeing Aaron for a few weeks, and she knew she couldn’t wait much longer to tell him. They had fallen for each other fast, and it seemed like things would only get better – but how would Aaron react when she told him she was transgender?

This week we talked to Janet and Aaron about their love (a story so goddamn sweet it gave us goosebumps) and about going public.

Learn more about Janet and her upcoming memoir at janetmock.com or listen to Janet and Aaron be sickeningly cute (good sick) on their podcast, The Missing Piece.

Music this week by Madrid (Ulrich Schnauss remix of “Out To Sea”, though watch the video of the original too). Additional songs by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Blondfire “Pretty Young Thing”
• Angel Miller “Bridge Over Troubled Water”
• Allo Darlin’ “My Heart is a Drummer”

Kit Lovelace crowd-sourced his love life. In his series for the Guardian, My Love Life in Your Hands, he’d ask thousands of Brits to vote on his next romantic move. In his first column, he asked if he should break up with his girlfriend – they voted yes – and he followed through. Listen for more examples of how far Kit took his experiment – and what happened after the column ended.

Today, Kit is giving romantic advice on his blog, Your Love Life in My Hands.

As usual, our theme music is provided by Drew Danburry.

We also featured Jack Pine and The Fire‘s Gold Silver Bronze. JP is friends with Jack, you should buy their album (or at least check out the free preview songs).

Other music this week:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

Tim and Nicki Bluhm – “Unforgetaboutable”
Starfucker – “Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second”

Clare Lawlor’s brother stubbornly refused to take this story to the talk show circuit, so we snapped it up instead. We treat her tale with the utmost sophistication and delicacy, of course, and somehow learn something about being mature adults along the way. Happy holidays!

Music this week by Drew Danburry (theme song), Abigail Clarke, and…

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Jimmy & The Rackets “Black Eyes”

We’re finally back! In this week’s episode Myera and Sheila tell us about the ups and downs of matchmaking.

I Like You is a podcast featuring stories of love, like, and the opposites of those things.

If you heard Janet Mock’s story on the CBC’s Sunday Edition, you might want to hear the whole piece, where we also talk to Janet about growing up trans:

#65: Tell Me Everything

Huddled in Elah’s tiny apartment, we prod guests into sharing their most intimate stories over tea and cookies. The results are funny, sad, strange, uplifting, and occasionally traumatic. And sometimes it gets pretty explicit (e.g. here and here), so beware sensitive ones!

We (JP and Elah) with help from our guests, try to answer questions like:
What’s it like to date your high school teacher?
Should you stay with your partner if they get sick?
How do you know it’s over?
How do you make a marriage work long term?
Conventional wisdom aside, can you change your partner?

 Listen now by subscribing in iTunes – it’s free!

Be on the show!

Do you have a story that would fit with our show? Email us and we’ll consider it!

We’re also recruiting for a matchmaking experiment. Let us know if you’re single, living in the Toronto area, and wouldn’t mind being set up and recorded going on a date (just audio).

[Little Birdy Card above by esauer26]

JP and Elah are taking a break. We’ll be back from hiatus on Friday December 2nd. We love making the show, but we just need some time to recharge our batteries and pursue some other projects. Here are a few ideas to keep you busy in the meantime:

• Email us your show ideas, recording submissions and new show name ideas.
• Review us in iTunes – it warms our little hearts!
• Check out the back catalogue.
• Say hi on Twitter or Facebook.

When I met her she was so drunk
But earlier I’d smoked a Blunt
We stumbled later to her friend’s place
Where we both got extra shit-faced

Just before the dawn was breaking
We tossed aside all hesitating
Rubbing up our nether parts
Must have also rubbed our hearts

We got off to a running start
It’s rare we spend much time apart
This one night stand has yet to end
And she’s become my closest friend
Is it true love? It’s worth debating
And all because we both hate waiting

-by Matt Loeb

Can you ever be too honest? What happens when you’re not honest enough? This week JP and Elah tell it like it is as they discuss the role honesty has played in past and present relationships. View the original post.

How do you make a good impression online? More precisely, how do you avoid triggering the wrath of your fellow internet daters, people who are set off by such seemingly harmless phrases as “down to earth” and “likes to laugh”? With help from friends, family and the irritable people of the web, JP and Elah give you tips for how NOT to make an online profile. If you squint really hard and think in metaphors, these are good tips for life too.

Thanks to everyone who contributed pet peeves and the talented voice actors who read them.

Music this week by Abigail Clarke and…

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Hafdis Huld “Robot Robot”
• JReign “Just a Text”
• Collection Get “I Know”
• Elliott Smith “Needle In The Hay”

JP’s parents have been married for 35 whole years. He investigates how lifelong love and commitment works and gets some handy advice for young’uns. This is one of our favourites, and we hope you like it too.

See original post for episode music downloads.

Self-help books give bizarre advice. Men like to hunt animals, so women should act like prey. (We think this means wearing camo and fleeing if spotted.) If a woman finds a man sexually attractive right away, he is dangerous, and she should stop seeing him. For all their tips and tricks, these guides make opposite-sex love sound pretty hopeless. But straight people, fear not, this week, we talk to Mari Ruti who skewers the self-help perspective in her new book, The Case for Falling in Love.

Music this week by

Fox in the Henhouse – “Fears”
El Capitan – “Happy All The Time”
The Promise Ring – “Best Looking Boys”
Sean Hayes – “When We Fall In”

Is it racist to be attracted to just one race? Shouldn’t we be equal-opportunity daters? This week JP and Elah are joined by Andil Gosine to discuss the intersection of race and attraction, where our racially motivated desires originate, and why race still matters in an increasingly connected world.

Andil’s latest project, Khush: A Show of Love, includes a 5-part podcast series produced by JP. The interviews tell the story of Khush, the nucleus of the Toronto gay south Asian community in the late 80s and early 90s.

Review the straight and gay OkCupid race data we mentioned for more in-depth analysis of how race effects response rates online.

Theme music by Drew Danburry, other music by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Tommy Guerrero “Archaic Days”
• Jared Mees & The Grown Children “Limber Hearts”
• Charlie Hunter “Ain’t We Got Fun”
• Jared Mees & The Grown Children “Hungry Like a Tiger”
• Starfucker “Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second”

This week Lindsay Zier-Vogel tells us about spreading her love for the city through the Love Lettering Project.

Theme and closing music by Drew Danburry, other music by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

Ten Kens – “Bearfight”
Rattler – “Getting Awesome”

You get a call from an ex telling you he’s probably infected you with HIV. Remember when he said he’d gotten tested and he was all good? Well, it looks like he lied. What do you do? How will this change your life? The less we tell you about Jessica Whitbread’s story in advance, the better. But we will say that she defied all our expectations. She made us laugh so hard, we felt a little weird about it (mostly good weird). We challenge you to find a more uplifting, more entertaining hour about HIV anywhere on the nets.

For more about HIV/AIDS in Toronto, visit the AIDS Committee of Toronto, where Jessica works.

UPDATE: The No Pants No Problem underwear dance party will take place on September 10th at the Garrison in Toronto. Facebook event.

Oh, and there’s this Sarah Silverman clip too.

Music this week by Drew Danburry (theme music), Abigail Clarke, and

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• This Will Destroy You “The World Is Our ___”
• Chris Garneau “Baby’s Romance”
• Rodriguez “Sugar Man”
• Pickering Pick “Like A River”
• Marc Ribot “Delancey Waltz”
• Metric “Gimme Sympathy”
• Maximilian “Greyhound”

Breakups. Sierra Bellows asks people in her town when they knew it was over. This is an all-time ILY favourite from the vault, mostly because it makes us cry. If you fail to cry, listen to Against All Odds, the Postal Service cover. The original by Phil Collins is also somewhat effective.

See the original episode post for music downloads and credits.

Two curious monosexuals journey into the strange and wonderful world of people who are attracted to men and women. BOTH OF THEM. (Not necessarily at the same time though.) After hearing our Gay Talk episode, our friend and historian, Anna, decided we might learn a thing or two about the bisexual way and she patiently submitted to an hour long interrogation. We report back with our astonishing findings.

Show notes:

• For some people, bisexuality means they are attracted to more than one gender, not necessarily just men and women.
• We mention a widely reported 2005 study which allegedly refuted the existence of bisexuality in men. Before you take it too seriously, consider that a) it had a tiny sample size, b) people who identify as bisexual might feel exclusive attraction to one gender some of the time, so measuring their attraction at just one point in their lives might not reveal their bisexuality, and c) attraction is not synonymous with having an erection (thankfully). CBS gave a nice quick overview of the study and some criticisms.

Music this week by

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

Marc Ribot – “Delancey Waltz”
Starfucker – “Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second”

Online dating can be hard on the soul – all that rejecting and rejection! Sofi (aka Sexy Typewriter) shares some stories of how she’s learned to cope.

Theme music by Drew Danburry, other music this week by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• etypejazz “Copacabana” 
• Sachal Vasandani “Babes Blues” 
• Ruthie Foster “Stone Love”

This song will rock your soul to its very core. Do not listen if you are pregnant. It may make your baby amazing.

We’re still looking for one-minute storytellers for our live event in August. Sign up now!

Relationship lessons are rarely learned the easy way, more often than not it’s more akin to touching a hot stove. You’re sure to get burned, but at least you won’t soon forget the lesson. This week we talk to Liam about some of the lessons he’s learned, and the painful ways they were taught.

Signup now to be part of our amazing LIVE storytelling event happening in Toronto this August! Only the first 60 will be accepted! Tell your friends!

Theme music by Drew Danburry, other music by

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

Weekend – “End Times”

The Weeks – “Buttons”

Black Moth Super Rainbow – “Colorful Nickels”

Pure Grain – “Cowgirl Remix feat. RJ Sidewayz”

Sean Hayes – “Calling All Cars”

Are you the master of your own domain? Probably not. This week JP and Elah explore how friends, family, pop-culture and porn have influenced their romantic lives.

Pictured above, two generations of nerds try to influence a third (from left to right: Dave, Sebastien, JP). View the original post including links to research, music and free audio books.

Let us know about your influencers in the comments!

Why does anyone get married anymore? And why do they make us get out of bed to watch it happen? This week, we try to figure out why, against all reason, we hope to get married one day. Sierra talks to two friends as they prepare for their weddings, and things begin to make a bit more sense. Their stories are really heart-warming, and if you’ve got an acute case of the singles, kind of reassuring too.

Music this week by Abigail Clarke and

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Marc Ribot “The Kid”
• Sarah Lee Guthrie & Johnny Irion “Never Far from My Heart”

We’re all about eavesdropping this week. As a young TTY operator, Laura-Louise got right in the middle of people’s private conversations. Funny, scandalous, moving, she heard it all, and then she told us.

Plus, JP confesses to doing some high-tech creeping when he lost trust in his ex. He didn’t like what he found.

You can see Laura-Louise’s original TTY story at MothUP Toronto’s Vimeo section. There’s stuff by former guest, Sage Tyrtle, on there too. And if you want to attend an event, join MothUP’s Facebook Group.

And finally, tell a 1-minute story at I Like You’s live event in August. Sign up at ilikeyoupodcast.com/live.

Music this week by

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

Lyrics Born – “Callin’ Out”

Sean Hayes – “A Thousand Tiny Pieces”

Dragonette – “Pick Up The Phone”

Lindsay is an Ottawa area sex worker. She works with the non-profit advocacy group POWER (Prostitutes of Ottawa/Gatineau Work, Educate, Resist) to decriminalize prostitution in Canada and improve working conditions for sex workers. She tells us how she got her start, what it’s like to have sex for money, and how different it is from Julia Roberts’ Pretty Woman.

Thanks to Anne Patterson for putting us in touch with Lindsay – you can read her profile of Lindsay on Hello Ottawa.

Theme music by Drew Danburry, other music by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Hospital Ships “I Want It to Get Out”
• Jared Mees & The Grown Children “Hungry Like a Tiger”
• Sloan “Unkind” 
• The Nghiems “Dum Dum Dah Dah”

This week we talk to show favourite Lynn about the dramatic breakup of her marriage. She gets kicked out, rallies, learns some lessons, and kicks herself right back in.

Theme music by Drew Danburry, other music by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

CAKE – “It’s Coming Down”

Bear In Heaven – “Lovesick Teenagers”

Mendoza Line, The – “It Helps to Leave the House”

This week, we get drunk. In possibly the most misguided experiment in ILY’s less than illustrious history, we decide to explore this week’s theme (mind-altering substances) while under the influence. You know how it sucks when everyone around you is drunk & high and you’re completely sober? Well, this isn’t like that. We’re the most fun we’ve ever been, or at least, we thought so at the time.

Note: Though we preach to the children a few too many times this episode (a la How I Met Your Mother), this show is NOT for kids.

Music this week by…

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Lene Lovich “I Think We’re Alone Now”
• Sean Nicholas Savage “Disco Dancing”

This week, we talk to Jeremy about gay stuff, like why it sucks when people call it a choice, but also sucks when they insist it isn’t, and what the deal is with biphobia (in case it isn’t super clear, we love bi people. We were just trying to explain why other people are jerks. Some of our favourite girlfriends have been bi).

Music this week by

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

Latyrx – “Lady Don’t Tek No”

We’re back! Hope you enjoyed the reruns!

This week’s brand-new episode features storyteller Sage Tyrtle’s biggest mistake, and how she got through it.

Theme music by Drew Danburry.

Even though she won’t listen to this, and probably prefers we never wrote it, this one is for D, with much love.

JP and Elah dissect why online dating is such a cesspool of misery, reviewing each stage of the process to identify its unique capacity for inflicting pain. [keep reading the original post]

We’re back next week with a brand new episode! Yay!

A high school student’s affair with a teacher. This story is a little hard to listen to at times (and a lot graphic at times), but definitely one of our favourites.

Original blog post, including song credits can be found here.

What would it feel like to rediscover letters and tapes from your first love a decade later (on paper and cassettes!)? Would they seem quaint and naive?  Inspiring and poetic?   Sierra Bellows does just that and reports back.  This one’s a show favourite, and a time capsule in its own right, albeit not a very old one.

We’re back mid-April with all new episodes!

It turns out the one piece of advice we ever gave about online dating was dead wrong. This episode, we decided to let science do the advising and tell us everything we wanted to know about dating… [view original post and comments]

We’ll be back with all-new episodes April 15th 2011!

Gosh, has it been a year already? This week JP and Elah reminisce about the a year of muddling their way through dating, making a show, and not killing each other. [Little Birdy Card by esauer26]

Thanks so much to everyone who’s taken the time to listen and to those who sent kind words to us over the past year. We like that you like us, and we like you too. You put ginormous smiles on our faces

Theme music by Drew Danburry. Other music by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

EGB -”Time Travel”
Metric – “Gimme Sympathy”

Elah goes speed dating – queer Jewish speed dating, which is the very best kind.

Show notes:

• Kulanu Toronto is the group that organized the event.
• Somewhere Out There can be listened to here.

Music this week by Drew Danburry and

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Mo-Tunes “Come See About Me”
• Dragonette “I Get Around”

Bathhouse tales from insiders – this week, we get the lowdown from a customer, as well as Peter Bochove, the legendary Toronto entrepreneur. Pull up a seat, and let us regale you with stories of secret plots, lawsuits, the lengths some people will go to for their soup and crackers, and yes, sex too.

Music by Drew Danburry, Abigail Clarke and…

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

CAKE – “Conroy”
Auburn – “EWWW!!!”
Muckafurgason – “You Ain’t a Man (East)”
Marcie Blane – “What Does A Girl Do?”
The Hidden Cameras – “Ban Marriage”

Happy Valentine’s Day!

We’re lucky to be sharing this very special edition of our show with two contributors:

First up we have former guest Jenn‘s tribute to Valentine’s Day, the most wonderful day of the year (allegedly).

Later, former contributor Bendan Fitzgerald shares the story of musicians Paul Curreri and Devon Sproule, who play a special show every Valentine’s Day, and are generally just kinda great together.

Theme music by Drew Danburry, all other music this week by Paul Curreri and Devon Sproule.

We are broken up. What should we do? This week we over-think our recent breakups.

*sigh*

Let’s get this over with.

Oh yeah, stupid Valentine’s is next week so leave us a message with your stupid Valentine’s Day stories and opinions at 1-888-854-5337.

I’m sorry I called your stories stupid, I bet they’re great.

Theme music by Drew Danburry, other music by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Loch Lomond “Elephants & Little Girls”
• Sean Hayes “When We Fall In”
• Truckasauras “Quarters”
• Michael Brook “Election”
• This Will Destroy You “Threads”

Get the same content by liking us on Facebook.

	50,000 downloads! Clearly our moms have been busily clicking away! Thanks moms! New episode about F-buddies this week – NOT FOR MOMS!
	@StMarcSpa is the owner or any of the staff available for a quick interview for our podcast? ~20mins? Pleaseandthankyou
	Heartbreaking marriage proposal message from British soldier left on wrong voicemail: http://ow.ly/3M1pm
	Episode 41: Frelations – This one’s about friends you have sex with – and how! http://ilikeyoupodcast.com/2011/01/41-frelations/
	Hats off to @wnycradiolab for making exactly the kind of story we aspire to (and for making me cry a bit): http://ow.ly/3MBoJ
	We’re looking for contributors! Get the scoop here: http://ilikeyoupodcast.com/submit-to-us/#submit
	Dating site @howaboutwe asks singles to: 1) Invent fun dates 2) Ask people out 3) Do something awesome, together. Anyone tried it?
	New to I Like You? Here’s a whirlwind tour of what you’ve been missing: http://ilikeyoupodcast.com/clips/
	A hoax, but a fun hoax: http://www.seacaptaindate.com/ (thanks for the tip Haley)
	@stueygrenouille you’ll always be the captain of our hearts – BUT YOU ARE NO SEA CAPTAIN!
	Fun online dating infographic: http://mashable.com/2010/03/24/online-dating-infographic/ (yes I have nothing going on tonight)
	Somebody already invented the app I concoct in this week’s episode (& raised $1.2M & went out of biz) http://mashable.com/2009/09/01/thread/

Friends you have sex with – no talking, no feelings, just good times (i.e. the opposite of talking and feelings?).  Jessie tells us all about her long-term friendship with benefits.

Show notes:

• Frelationship = Friend + Relationship.  We challenge you to come up with a better word!
• JP figures out how he can profit, monetarily, from this arrangement.

Music by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Aloe Blacc and Kero One “With My Friends”
• Lillix “Dance Alone”
• Femi “Baby I Got It (Money Money Money) ft. Eedris Abdulkareem”
• Allo Darlin’ “Dreaming”

Image from Scott Beale/Laughing Squid, creative commons.

The experienced rejecter is like a surgeon, cutting themselves out of your life quickly and painlessly.  Matthew Harris drops by to explain how it’s done, drawing on his many harrowing experiences as the rejected.

Show notes:

• Matthew is, in fact, very attractive.
• Music this week by

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Marc Ribot “The Kid”
• The Pipettes “Call Me”
• Sean Nicholas Savage “Disco Dancing”
• The Weeks “Hold It, Kid (Your Heart Just Skipped a Beat)”
• Allo Darlin’ “My Heart is a Drummer”

Photo courtesy of Caro Wallis on Flickr, creative commons.

JP’s parents have been married for 35 years.  On this week’s show they share the secret to their success with honesty and humour.

Theme music, as always, by Drew Danburry.

Other music provided by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Dan Wilson “Hand on My Heart”
• Metermaid “Live Together”
• Dan Wilson “Singing in My Sleep”
• Gene Pierson “You Got to Me”

Happy New Year!  One week into 2011 we’re talking resolutions. Glamour Magazine’s 2011 Dating-o-lutions provides the canvas on which we spread our silliness.

Theme music, as always, by Drew Danburry.

Other music provided by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Akshun “MTL Anthem (feat. Kaybe)”
• The London Fox Players “Auld Lang Syne Party”

The dreaded friend zone!  Meredith shares a story about her years of friendly frustration and how she managed to escape.

Show notes:

• See more from Meredith at overthinkingmom.com.
• Elah’s mom drops by to tell us what she doesn’t think of the show.

Extra music this week from:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Akiko Moriyako “Sublime”
• Les Shelleys “The World Is Waiting For The Sunrise”
• Marc Ribot “Delancey Waltz”
• Allo Darlin’ “If Loneliness Was Art”
• Mo-Tunes “Come See About Me”

We talk to researcher Pam Epstein about personal ads from the mid 1800s to early 1900s in America. Missed connections, poetry, crypto-gay ads, s&m, and more!

Show notes:

• Pam’s blog is advertisingforlove.com
• Romantic readings from regular contributors Sierra & Brendan
• Music by Drew Danburry, Abigail Clarke and…

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Marc Ribot “Delancey Waltz”
• Angel Miller “Bridge Over Troubled Water”

Image from Wisconsin Historical Images.

JP and Elah dissect why online dating is such a cesspool of misery, reviewing each stage of the process to identify its unique capacity for inflicting pain.

Show notes:

Our inspiration is researcher Dan Ariely and his quest to find out why online dating is so unsatisfying. Ariely studies other interesting stuff too, like “behavioral economics”, which is much cooler than it sounds. Check out his book, Predictably Irrational. You can get the audiobook free by signing up for the Audible trial.

Theme song by Drew Danburry, and the rest by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Allo Darlin’ “If Loneliness Was Art”
• Ian Whitcomb “Somebody Stole My Gal”
• Luther Ingram “I’ll Be Your Shelter (In Time of Storm)”
• Starfucker “German Love”

Photo by Don Hankins, creative commons

(from rowdyman)

And now squirrels are looking for love on the nets! So naturally when Mr. Squirrelius (a local I Like You fan) approached us to help him find love, we asked ourselves why not put his profile on a t-shirt where it might be spotted in parks and cafes around the world?  Why not indeed.  Behold the nuts4you tee.

Available now here (manly) and here (chesty) exclusively. All proceeds go to love!

Living apart is no fun, there are no snuggles, no sex, no gazing into each others’ eyes… This week we talk to Ben about his experience with long distance relationships.

Theme music, as always, by Drew Danburry.  Other music provided by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Archie Edwards “I Called My Baby Long Distance”
• Salteens “All My Friends Are Different”

Friend of the show Lynn returns this week with a story of a date gone horribly awry.  Don’t worry though, there’s a happy ending.

Theme music as always by Drew Danburry, other music by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Lillix “Dance Alone”

The person who will destroy you (Sierra’s portrait by Eliza Evans)

Extra songs this week:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• This Will Destroy You “Quiet”
• This Will Destroy You “The World Is Our ___”
• Sibylle Baier “Tonight”

Why you should be afraid of commitment, psychics, and living in cages, or why you shouldn’t be.  We didn’t come to any firm conclusions on these issues, but Claire helped us navigate the way through our confused thoughts.

Theme song by Drew Danburry of course, and other songs this week by

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Santogold “L.E.S Artistes”
• Allo Darlin’ “Dreaming”
• Nick Light “Always Together”
• Joey Ryan “As It Must Be”

JP and I agree that it’s super gay in the best way possible.  What with all the colours, gradients, and transparencies, we have no idea what it will look like when it gets printed.  It’s also pretty pricy, but JP fell in love with this one fast and hard, and has already ordered one for himself, plus one of the I Like You Classic shirts, which look more like this:

Thanks to everyone who voted!  We went with the electricity versions, which won by a landslide.  The blue vs. white votes were closer, so we’re offering both versions… and underwear.  Most of these are organic and/or American Apparel.

If you buy a shirt or underwear, you’re covering the cost of a full episode in terms of our hosting costs and equipment.  You’d basically be the sponsor of that episode, and we’d like you more than Audible!  You can get all the schwag here.

She was 22, he was 39, they dated for 10 years and nearly got married three times… and then it ended. This week we talk to Jenn about her neurotic ex and where she’s headed from here. You can read about Jenn’s adventures in online dating on her blog: The Old Man and the See You Later.

Theme music by Drew Danburry, other music by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• The New Morty Show “White Wedding / Rebel Yell Medley”
• Dosh “I Think I’m Getting Married”
• Radha & The Kiwi Kids “Clean Up Time”

Can you ever be too honest? What happens when you’re not honest enough? This week JP and Elah tell it like it is as they discuss the role honesty has played in past and present relationships.

Theme and outro music by Drew Danburry, as always.  One other song by:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Cee Cee James “I’ll Ask The Questions You Tell The Lies” 

Did you enjoy this episode?

If so, consider making a small donation to support our efforts.  If money is tight you can provide moral support by reviewing us in iTunes, calling the like line or commenting below.  Thanks!

Ever had a crush on a teacher?  Wonder what could have happened if you had pursued it? Lynn tells us about the affair she had with a teacher when she was 15 years old. Conclusion: Don’t do it, kids!

Music this week by Drew Danburry, Abigail Clarke, and…

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Starfucker “Rawnald Gregory Erickson the Second”
• Lene Lovich “I Think We’re Alone Now”
• The Weeks “Hold It, Kid (Your Heart Just Skipped a Beat)”

Photo by Melody Gutierrez, shared with a Creative Commons license.

Be part of the making of the show!  We’re always looking for new stories and ideas.  If you want to be a guest on the show, submit a story, or be our deputy tech nerd (JP will remain forever top nerd), peruse our new guidelines, and drop us a line.

But I can buy me dates, and you can too.  We talk to Scott, president of Virtual Dating Assistants, a company that online dates on behalf of people who don’t have the time (or possibly skills) to do it themselves.  Scott and his assistants have it down to a science.

Show notes:

• In providing this service, what are the ethics of presenting yourself as someone else online?
• If you’re a client, when do you tell your partner that wasn’t really you writing? Do you?
• What kind of clients will Virtual Dating Assistants never work with?

Music this week by Drew Danburry and…

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• Dragonette “I Get Around”
• Bobby Broom “Can’t Buy Me Love”

Children need their independence, especially 28 year old children.  This week Jane tells us about her boyfriend’s clingy conservative Indian parents, and how their death grip on their son choked the life out of her relationship.

Theme and outro songs by Drew Danburry, other music by

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

The dB’s “What Becomes of the Brokenhearted”

This week we tell you about Dan Savage’s new project: It Gets Better. The effort was inspired by the tragic story of Billy Lucas, a gay teen who committed suicide after being bullied mercilessly.  Savage hopes the stories from queer people who lived happily ever after will give teens the strength to survive, even when things seem hopeless.  We hope so too.

You can submit your video by uploading it to YouTube and emailing the URL to mail@savagelove.net

Music for this episode provided by Drew Danburry.

Jared of abadcaseofthedates.com shares the best of the worst dating stories with us.

Show notes:

• Sitting on train tracks – good or bad date idea?
• How a very beautiful scarf got in the way of love…
• Find The Rebecca Project at Winter Twilight Productions

Thanks as always to Drew Danburry for theme and outro music, as well as:

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

Elf Power “Stranger in the Window”

Mini episode: Jessica Wells and her friend emerge from a post-breakup romantic purging process with a solid list of 25 ways to make your life touch-free.

Show notes:

• Elah comes back from vacation to find a No Means No campaign sweeping her office.  Touching levels fall to all-time lows.
• We offer you a counter-list: 25 Ways to Obtain Touch – and what JP meant to say was “sex worker”.

by Eliza Evans

Show Notes:

• Thanks to story contributor and guest, Brendan!
• Brendan Fitzgerald lives in Charlottesville, Virginia, where he works as news editor of C-VILLE Weekly newspaper. His favourite of the three Back to the Future movies, is the second one.

Theme music by Drew Danburry, other music by

[NOTE: Unfortunately our music provider was acquired by another company, and they no longer offer free mp3 downloads. Below are the tracks used in this week's show.]

• This Will Destroy You “Quiet”
• Dragonette “Pick Up The Phone”
• Sean Hayes “Time”
• The Sadies “Anna Leigh”

Ever tried to change a partner?  The way they act? The way they talk? The way they have sex?  This week JP and Elah try to figure out if it can be done, and if so, how.

Show Notes:

• Welcome new listeners!  We had a huge traffic spike this week and I can’t figure out why, where did you all come from?
• This week’s show is JP and Elah at their rawest and most lazily-edited – it’s practically live-to-tape!
• Who needs guests when you’ve got banter like this!? (we need guest ideas… desperately… send in your suggestions!)
• Music by Drew Danburry

Hit us up at 1-888-854-5337 with all your juicy gossip! (That’s 1-888-U-LIKEES)

Internationals, we haven’t forgotten you, simply click here to record your message!

JP and Elah interview Ryan about whether The Game actually works as a pick-up technique and Edmonton’s cowboy bars.

Show notes:

• How do you “neg” someone (i.e. put them down to make them like you)?  Should you?
• Hear JP fall in love with mechanical bulls before your ears!
• Check out Ryan’s profile on OkCupid, and let us know how he could make it more super: http://www.okcupid.com/profile/awes-Eclipse
• Music by Drew Danburry and Gareth Auden-Hole

Mini-episode! What happens when a relationship ends, but the evidence won’t go away?  Sierra Bellows contemplates the tapes and letters that stuck around long after her intense high school romance was gone.

Image courtesy of J E Smith.

Are you ready to take a super-sexy steamy sensual and slightly sleazy trip with us?  Join us as we talk to erotic podcaster Laura May of Laura May Diaries.

Show Notes:

• Thanks to Laura May for being our awesome guest.
• Laura says her favourite chapters of her diary are 10,11 and 13.
• Music by Laura May, Gareth Auden-Hole and Drew Danburry.
• This week we recommend you sign up for a FREE trial of Audible.com and pick up a FREE copy of Some Girls: My Life in a Harem by Jillian Lauren.  You can also choose any book from their library of over 75,000 by visiting audiblepodcast.com/ilikeyou

What influences the way you date? This week JP and Elah explore how friends, family pop-culture and porn have influenced their romantic lives.

Show Notes:

• There’s plenty of evidence that people emulate what they learn at a young age: studies show children of divorce are 49% more likely to divorce and children who witness abuse are twice as likely to abuse their own partners [PDF].
• Dan Savage’s column Savage Love is mentioned as a great source of information for curious young minds.
• This week’s AudiblePodcast.com/ilikeyou FREE audio book recommendation is Malcolm Gladwell’s Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking
• No guest this week, just us!
• Music by Drew Danburry

Sample questions:

• What are the rules?  What are your limits?
• So your girlfriend got married – how does that affect your relationship?
• Can someone cheat in an open relationship?
• What makes some (but not most!) poly people so annoying?
• Are Elah and JP’s questions annoying? (possibly)

If you want to learn more about open relationships, Kasha strongly recommends Opening Up by Tristan Taormino. And for a cautionary tale, Elah recommends Eclipse: Twilight Saga Book 3, a modern monogamy tragedy, which you can get as an audiobook here.

Finally, since we weren’t able to squeeze in a lot of our Q&A, we may be bringing you a blog post from Kasha in the near future! In the meantime, you can follow her tweetings at twitter.com/pushygalor.

This week’s music was provided by Abigail Clarke (piano pieces) and Drew Danburry.

This week we interview a 60-year old woman and a 6-year old boy to see what common ground they have when it comes to dating and relationships – if any.

Show Notes:

• Thanks to guests Sebastien and Elah’s mom!
• Music provided by Drew Danburry and Abigail Clarke.
• Diehard fans, get the bonus footage.

Action Items:

• Do you or your friends have great dating or relationship stories?  Email us and we’ll put you on the show!
• If you like what you hear, subscribe, then rate or review us in iTunes.
• Support us by visiting AudiblePodcast.com/ilikeyou to download David Sedaris’ Me Talk Pretty One Day or your choice of 75,000 audio books absolutely FREE.

In our last episode‘s Audible pitch, JP and I recommended you listen to the audio sample of Sarah Silverman’s new memoir The Bedwetter: Stories of Courage, Redemption, and Pee. This link should help you find it once you decide you’re ready for the audio experience of a weektime.

And of course, you can help our podcast by signing up for an Audible trial at audiblepodcast.com/ilikeyou.  You get one free audiobook, and joint supplements for dogs
if you cancel your trial within 14 days, you won't get charged anything. And then JP and I get a little bit of money which we can use to make (even) better shows!

Stay Jewish,

Elah

After some complaints (one) that being in relationships has ruined our credibility as show hosts, JP and I decided to dedicate a show to the destructive force that is love.  What we found in these stories was not so much love, as love’s evil doppelganger, but sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference.

Show notes:

• JP’s girlfriend, Sondra, tells us how the l-word ruined an old relationship.
• Love ruins break-ups too! Sondra explains how lingering feelings made her ex cyber-stalk her.
• Elah’s step-father proposes an alternative to romantic love. He seems to have given this a disturbing amount of thought.

Thanks to Abigail Clarke for music contributions and Drew Danburry for our theme song (vote to let us know what you think of it).

Finally, Sondra has a podcast too!  It’s called How to Be Awesome. You can find it at awesomepodcast.com. (this episode features JP and Elah!)

On this week’s show we discuss the shame of admitting to having met your long-term partner online, as well as the trials and tribulations faced by any long-term relationship.

Show Notes:

• Thanks to our awesome (and awesomely honest) guest Jared!
• Music provided by Drew Danburry
• For our foreign listeners: The “ROM” mentioned in the episode is the Royal Ontario Museum.

Action Items:

• Want to be on a future show about speed-dating with the oportunity to participate in a FREE I Like You speed dating event?  Email us!
• Check out audiblepodcast.com/ilikeyou for a free audio book download of your choice.  JP and Elah Approved!

Little Spoon

Captain a Ship

We’re also inviting our awesome fans to cover or remix these all you like – it won’t be hard to top us!

Want to hear more songs? Leave a comment with ideas and concepts you’d like to see us try!

This week, we bring you confessions of a serial monogamist.  Liz explains how – despite her best intentions – she wound up in 10 years of non-stop long term relationships with four very different women.  At 29, she’s finally on her own, and she tells us whether single life is working out as planned. Warning to our more sensitive listeners: this episode is slightly more explicit than usual.

Thank you to Drew Danburry and Sandra Taylor for musical contributions.

This week we talk about dealing with a racist date, being in love (or not) and how not seeking marriage and kids may be the path to love, marriage and kids.

Show Notes:

• Thanks to our awesome guest Monica!
• Music generously provided by Drew Danburry

Action Items:

• Would you like to talk to us about your dating experience on the show?  Email us!
• Support the show and help yourself to a FREE audio book download at audiblepodcast.com/ilikeyou.  Cancel your subscription within 14 days, pay nothing, keep your free book.  Audible is an Amazon.com company, so you know they’re legit.

• Love and Marriage… and Racism
• Love, Love Me Don’t
• Breaking up is Hard to do… But Dating a Racist is Harder

Clearly we’re reaching here – help us name a show about racism, breakups, love and finding “the one” by submitting your suggestions in the comments.  Bonus points for puns! (obviously)

It turns out the one piece of advice we ever gave about online dating was dead wrong.  This episode, we decided to let science do the advising and tell us everything we wanted to know about dating:

What should your profile look like?  What kind of jokes do people find attractive?  Is it really so bad to post a web cam shot?  Are men really looking for hot bods and women looking for deep pockets? How does the pill affect your choice of lover? Luckily, researchers have studied these questions and we bring you their findings!

Show note of shame: Most of these studies looked exclusively at straight people, but we do include non-hetero facts wherever we could find them.

We finally dug up our references.  Here they are (you’ll need academic journal access to open some of these):

This week is all about guys who like girls – Elah was permitted to stick around though since technically it’s her show too.

Show Notes:

• Thanks to guests Mike and Josh!
• Music by Drew Danburry (he’s got a new album!), Sandra Taylor and Gareth Auden-Hole.
• How to be Awesome is a great new podcast by our friends Sondra and Kim.
• Apologies for the lateness of this episode!  We’ll likely switch to releasing them later in the week from now on since the Monday release is always a bit of a scramble.

Action Items:

• Ladies: tell us about your experience asking out a fella – if you’ve never done that, do it today! [as Elah quite rightly points out in the comments, this action should have been directed toward "straight ladies".  Gay ladies: don't ask a fella out - nobody likes a tease.]
• Support the podcast and enjoy a free audio book by signing up for a free trial at AudiblePodcast.com/ilikeyou

Picture courtesy of David Prior.

This week we explore whether dating (especially online) is as dangerous as moms think it is.

Show notes:

- Tips for safe dating from http://www.saferonlinedating.org/tips

- Scariest ever profile review. We’d give you the link, but Elah fears retribution.  All details provided in the show.

- Our friend fondly remembers the charms of Serial Killer Trevor

Show Notes:

• Two guests back by popular demand: Elah’s mom and slave-master David.
• Thanks again to Gareth Auden-Hole and Drew Danburry for providing the excellent music heard throughout the show.

Action Items:

• Enter our pick-up line contest for a chance at some great prizes!
• Review us in iTunes: If you like what you heard, jot down a quick sentence or two – your encouragement is like sweet kisses to us.
• Email us your profile for review.

Thanks for listening!

I came home from work today to find this: a massive hopscotch board, drawn in colourful chalk, stretching all the way down the block.  Secret admirer? obsessive fan? or something much more sinister?

Actually I’m pretty sure it was the neighbour kids…

Listen carefully to episodes two, three and four to discover my love-hate relationship with this most alluring of affordable pastimes.

In the latest episode, we discussed the lawsuits that forced eHarmony to offer its services to people seeking same-sex relationships.  We asked if you thought Elah should pay the one month subscription fee, so that she can find out what kind of self-hating queer person would join this site.  The polls are open, and we will do as you command. This is your chance to play us like puppets!

Ever like someone because they were indifferent or even disliked you?  This episode is about that.

Show notes:

• Elah’s friend tells us about the strange allure of a man with – as far as Elah can tell – no redeeming qualities, but many hilarious/tragic flaws.
• Recent lawsuits compelled eHarmony to open its doors to queer people, kind of.  What kind of self-hating person would sign up?  Elah, apparently.  Local lawyer, Sabrina, helps us understand how these lawsuits worked.
• Finally, Sierra reads her story about a hot summer affair gone cold.
• Music by Drew Danburry and Gareth Auden-Hole.

We’re putting together an episode on “the pick-up”. What are your best practices for initiating contact in bar, in a coffee shop, at a party or online?

Cheezy lines, horror stories, creepy techniques, sweet memories and surprising twists all welcome! Tell us your story by email or voice.

Pick-up Line CONTEST!

Call the Like Line at 1-903-3-LIKE-ME (354-5363) or record your best/funniest/hottest/most effective/cutest pick-up lines for your chance to win! Please direct your pickup lines to Elah, JP or one of our past guests, it’ll be more fun that way.

NOTE: Multiple entries are encouraged! The more lines you throw out there the better your odds! (just like in real life)

Prizes

First Prize: A song, dedicated to you, written and recorded by JP and Elah (or just one of us if you prefer).

Runner Up: A bag of eco-swag JP scavenged from a previous life as a green product reviewer.

Show Notes:

• Thanks to our awesome guests Steph, Alison and Sondra!
• Great music by Drew Danburry: visit DrewDanburry.com or search for him on iTunes to buy his album

Action Items:

• Call with your tales of taking the plunge, or better yet, take the plunge today by confessing your secret crush on the Like Line!
• Subscribe to get next week’s episode on the undeniable draw of sweet sweet rejection - promises to be a great one!

“A girl who seemed smart and cute messaged me on OK Cupid. We wrote back and forth for a bit and exchanged MSN accounts. About a month later, I finally saw her online. We chatted for a bit and agreed we should go out sometime. I mentioned how I had to go to Ikea on Saturday, and she mentioned that she loves Ikea. I had to decide quickly: is inviting her to Ikea for a date silly and charming, or weird and lame? I went with silly and charming.

We met for the first time at the entrance to the Leslie & Sheppard Ikea. We talked about cheap Swedish furniture, physicalism, shared some Swedish meatballs, and flirted. She helped me lug about 300 pounds of pressed wood to the checkout.

It was going well, and I wanted to class this shit up! So we got some drinks at Volo. It was still going well, and we ended up going back to my place for… intimate times. Then after that we watched There Will Be Blood (the perfect date movie!) and ate a large pizza.

She left late in the morning, making it about a 20 hour date – by far my longest first date. We kept dating for a little while, but things didn’t work out.

the end”

This week, JP and Elah learn how to catch a man.

Show notes:

• David gives us a peek into the world of men dating men, with some unexpected results.
• Cait offers us dating insights from insects, and explains why J-Date is the place to meet a husband – even if you’re not Jewish.
• JP and Elah find their dream man, without even looking for him, but soon discover his fatal flaw…

Links:

Dream man John can be found at http://www.okcupid.com/profile/nlmln (login required)

The New York Times props Cait up in this article about J-Date for gentiles.

Show Notes:

• Sierra of Charlotte, North Carolina asked for more music on the show – and we’ve delivered
• Elah’s Plenty of Fish and Ok Cupid (login req.) profiles
• JP’s Ok Cupid (login req.) profile
• JP & Elah’s Rules of Sexy #1: No Webcam Photos (listen for details)
• We start a feud with the Big Gay Sex Show (NSFW) for domination of the ‘Personal Journals’ subcategory chart on iTunes

Action Items:

• Leave us a voicemail about our profiles – do you agree with our assessments? (be gentle!)
• Email us your profile and we’ll let you know what we think next episode!

We did it! Episode one is online! It’s a super self-indulgent behind the scenes peak at our podcasting hopes and fears; the people who inspire us; and our detractors, who will stop at nothing to keep us from your ears.

Show Notes:

• Thanks to our wonderful guests Michelle, Luke, Jessica, Anna, Steph and a special thanks to Leo, who didn’t make it into the episode due to technical difficulties (sorry!).
• Steph’s dating blog is Steph vs. Dating – visit it and be horrified! (and amused). We’d love to have her back on the show as soon as she stops crying.
• We learned a lot making this episode, but mistakes were made. Expect significantly better recording quality for future shows.

Action Items:

• Leave us a voicemail: We’ll be reviewing each others’ profiles next week, so tell us – what is your biggest dealbreaker when you’re browsing dating sites?
• Comment on this episode below
• Subscribe, then rate us in iTunes
• Send us your podsafe music suggestions for future episodes

Thanks for listening!