The iLL-Blog

YM Blog-A-Thon: An Open Letter to Hillary Clinton

2008-02-20T12:53:00.001-08:00

Today iLL-Literacy joins forces with Youth Outlook and WireTap for the first official Youth Media Blog-A-Thon! Today we focus on the oh-so-exciting elections, and Adriel weighs in with An Open Letter to Hillary Clinton.

Check it out at the 366 Blog

the speech that won the hearts of america

2008-01-05T13:09:00.000-08:00

So okay, me and iLL Lit rolled our eyes when we found out that Obama and Bill Clinton were the top nominees in the Grammy's spoken word category- I mean come on, for real, right? Not when you've got hundreds of aspiring and dope def poets across the Bay to New York City, yadadaimean?

But this speech, well this, this is a shining example of spoken word in a political arena. Go get em' Obama! YOU ARE DOING IT, BOO! Who else could make one of the whitest states in the US cheer like this?!?! He took em' to chuuuurch! (Obama 08 baby,)

As a columnist on the NY Times stated yesterday, "You've gotta have a heart of stone not to be moved by this."

And well, I'm a softie.

Oh, Obama.

hip-hop loves Obama

2008-01-05T12:51:00.000-08:00

its no surprise that uhhhrbody loves barack. (i do too.) obama 08, baby

iLL-Lit interview @ fremont high

2007-11-28T14:58:00.001-08:00

dahlak fumbling with his stunnaz and me with my face turned away from the camera. lack of media coaching at its best!

papa was a rolling stone

2007-11-28T01:44:00.001-08:00

Bilal (Ft. 88 Keys) - MILF (thanks jon!)

While in Boston with iLL-Literacy and Native Guns, I gave our PR Manager Paloma the nickname Papa Lo, and despite the fact that she hated it, it stuck and spread like wildfire. Now pretty much everyone calls her that. Since then, it's gone through several transformations, from Pops to Daddy to Father to Mufasa (get the evolution?). Since joining iLL-Lit in January, she quickly became a part of the family--from our first roadtrip through Virginia to random hotbox sessions in the Bay, Paloma was the first person outside of the 4 members who actually took an invested interest in us. Paloma is stepping away from the scene to take care of her biz, and she'll definitely be missed by the the iLL-squad.

Yes, Pops, I will miss you. Even though you fastforward in the middle of Andre3000 verses and complain when I play Parliament and ask me to put on some "happy music" instead. I had fun with the spur-of-the-moment decision to see Bilal at Yoshi's tonight. As the lights went down for the show to start you whispered, "Hey! This would make a great venue for a spoken word show!" See? Even spewing out ideas all over the place during the wrap-up meeting. You're never really really going to stop working, are you?

See you when the game pulls you back in, muahahaha...

"dual consciousness" is now free!

2007-11-23T09:02:00.001-08:00

Kanye West sold 9,000,000 records in his first week. I sold almost 100. Wow. Well, hey, I'm NOT Kanye West. You won't believe how hard it is for an independent artist to sell 1000 records in this digital age with little marketing and no hyped-up beef with 50 Cent. But with the help of iLL-Literacy and Neighborhood Watch, I've managed to move all 1000 of the limited edition copies of my album Dual Consciousness in a relatively short time. I would like to extend an extra warm thank you to everyone who supported my music by buying this album. This has been a very special experience for me and I'm extremely glad that you all were a part of it. I will try my very best to make sure this limited edition version of the album is something you can auction on E-Bay one day. Something that you can say that YOU were the first one up on it.

Now. For all you cd- burning- free- downloading- that- cd- ain't- worth- my- 10- dollars- folks, it's not your last chance to own Dual Consciousness. Although there won't be any reprints anytime soon, the iLL-Literacy team has been working on getting the album to all major digital distribution retailers (iTunes, Rhapsody, SNOCAP, etc.). Since it will take some time before you will be able to download it from these sites, we decided that we couldn't leave you all without any way to download it if you so pleased. Therefore, the iLL-Literacy team has decided to make the album available as a FREE download for the rest of 2007! Please spread the word to friends, family, and anyone who might be interested in downloading some good music for no price and no hassle. Just click one of the links below and download Dual Consciousness onto your personal computer. Thank you so much for supporting the music. Stay tuned. I will try to stay worthy of your love and support.

Sincerely,
Dahlak Brathwaite

article on ill-lit's san marcos show!

2007-11-19T14:47:00.001-08:00

Spoken word hip-hop collective Ill-Literacy comes to campus
The Cal State University San Marcos Pride
by Toria Savey
(link)

There are places that are alive with music. People perform on street corners and beats rise out of potholes and drift out of clubs and coffeehouses. Or any place with a roof, a door and a microphone. Those who look hard enough agree that San Diego is one of these locales, with lyrics embedded in its very blueprint, but on Friday night, one didn't have to go into the city to seek the energy. The music came directly to CSU San Marcos.

The CSUSM Arts and Lectures Series in conjunction with campus' Kamalayan Alliance (KA) brought spoken-word hip-hop collective Ill-Literacy to campus. And Ill-Literacy brought songs that were relatable, hilarious and tragic; an entire world.

The evening opened with Irene Castruita, a former member of San Diego's own Los Able Minded Poets, another spoken word collective. Her introduction to her pieces, stating, "I don't call it spoken word, I call it spoken soul because we express our souls," may have made some members of the audience roll their eyes. However, when minutes seemed to fly as she covered topics like war, truth, poverty and beauty with a mixture of poetry, beats and a cappella singing, skepticism was quickly replace with fascination; Castruita was, in her own words, "singing songs in the key of life."

Up next, it was time for the main act. After being announced and welcomed by a member of KA, Ill-Literacy took the stage. The welcome by the KA, while proper, may have been somewhat unnecessary. The group is made of four members who would own the stage whether it was offered to them or not. Reminiscent of many concerts, a single member was sent out to warm up the audience. Slowly, each member of the group came on stage, performing a segment of the opening number, and asking the audience to come with them on a "journey".

While there were all sort of influences for the various songs, most involved some form of societal commentary. Ruby Veridiano-Ching called for a return to chivalry and a realizing of one's inner beauty. Adriel Luis, in addition to having the dubious job of being the first one on stage, performed an amazing piece from the point of view of self-hatred. "Stop trying to find me in everyone else, and maybe, just maybe you can find me in yourself," he spat as he literally jumped around the stage.

Dahlak Brathwaite, offered some of the most scathing commentary, beginning his time on stage by announcing that "the club looks nothing like the Yin Yang Twins says it does." Perhaps some of the most powerful moments on stage were during his tongue-in-cheek explanation of the usage and ownership of the word "nigga" and its relationship to oppression. Two of the pieces that brought the most laughter and empathy from the audience though came from Nico Cary, the first a "f*ck you list," including everything from conservative politicians to people who had Lunchables and never shared. The second was about his desire to be a revolutionary, but being too bombarded by different types of "revolution" recruiters on the campus of UC Berkeley to decide on a cause, and mocking the inability of each group to find common ground.

At the beginning, Adriel announced Ill-Literacy's intent to "reawaken a culture". They spoke to the audience, provoking everything from uncontrollable laughter to shouted agreement during statements about society's stumbling blocks.

A throw back to beat poets and early DJs more than the violent "gangsta" rap that's become popular, the group showcased hip hop at its finest, exhibiting unbelievable word flow without a single gang shout out or misogynistic reference. Looking around at an auditorium full of wide eyed people hanging on the group's every word, it would seem that Ill-Literacy's goal is well on its way to becoming reality. On Friday night, even if only for a moment, CSU San Marcos was not only awakened, but ignited.

--------------------
SPEAKING WITH SPOKEN WORDS:
INTERVIEW WITH ILL-LITERACY

One of the main appeals of Ill-Literacy, in comparison to others in the field of spoken word and hip hop, may be their accessibility, with audience members coming up to them after the show and interacting like long-lost friends. When the flock thinned a little, the Pride had a chance to ask the group a few quick questions. As gleaned from their interaction on stage, the members of Ill-Literacy are friends as much as they're band mates. There was constant laughter, as they gave the same answers and finished each others' sentences.

So, two of you are still in college. If you could quit tomorrow, and just do this, no degree, would you?
Nico: Oh yeah, definitely. In a minute.
Ruby: I've already graduated, and this is what I'm doing full time. I love it.

You talk about texting in your show. How often do you guys talk or text each other?
R: We talk constantly. If it's not calling or texting, it's email.
Dahlak: Yeah, we get, what would you say, like withdrawals. Without each other.

What's the smallest show you've ever played?
Adriel: Man, I think like 6. Probably 6.

So would you rather play for six or 1,000?
D: Depends. If you get all 6 of those people in, it could be your best show ever.

What do you guys do after shows?
D: I don't think you can print it.
R: (laughter) We usually have dinner. Eat. Celebrate.

So how long are you staying?
(group laughs)
A: We're driving back up tonight (to the Bay Area).
R: It's really beautiful here though. The ocean and everything.

Finally, what's your drug of choice?
D: Pepsi. Lots of Pepsi.
N: COFFEE. Coffee, coffee, coffee.
R: Definitely music.
A: People.
N: That's such a typical spoken word thing to say.

crank dat 101

2007-11-07T00:01:00.001-08:00

After the show in Harrisonburg, VA, Ruby finally fulfilled her promise to teach Dahlak how to Crank Dat.

ruby & amanda diva interview on yo!raps

2007-11-06T13:14:00.001-08:00

Taken from: When The Poets Spit, Part 2 Featuring HBO’s Def Poets (link)
by Wilkine Brutus

I have two gorgeous ladies that will continue the 4-question exploration of Spoken-word poetry and Hip-Hop. 4-questions? Well… yeah, because notice during the 4th quarters in basketball and football games, the players’ signals the number 4; it’s the most meaningful moment.

The first lady at bat is HBO’s Def poet, Amanda Diva. This Sirius Satellite Radio host and Columbia University graduate has performed with the legendary, Last Poets and has shared the podium with the likes of Hip-Hop pioneer, Kurtis Blow and Grammy-nominated American poet, Nikki Giovanni. Umm, yeah… the list goes on and on.

Ruby Veridiano-ching, the only female member of the international poetry group, ill-Literacy, is a versatile lyricist that has been featured in the nationally televised, Re: Vision campaign. Ruby is a poet that can sooth the most troubled mind, rocking shows from the Bay Area to NY, to Italy and the Philippines. As a television show host for SocialLush, she was also an assistant at Jive Records. Oh yeah, don’t be surprised if you see this poetic beauty in fashion lines and ads as well.

Below, the famous 4-question interviews of both:

1. It's definitely a must to reiterate this, so what is your take on the state of Hip-Hop? Not everyone wants to be in conscience mode, but would you say we've lost at least the creativity?

Amanda Diva: No, I'd say we've lost diversity.

Ruby Veridiano-ching: Losing creativity? Yes and no. But there's Hip-Hop, and the Hip-Hop that dominates the mainstream. Mainstream Hip-Hop is a completely different monster - it can be obnoxious, abrasive, at times incoherent. It's misogynistic, money hungry, and lacks punch lines, insight, and true, skilled emceeing, while its deficiency is often disguised by a beat that "knocks" or "slaps". Mainstream Hip-Hop is not about the music; it’s about the money. Yet, there's no denying the strong presence of artists like Kanye West, Common, Jay-Z, Nas, Outkast, and Lupe Fiasco who continue to challenge and uplift hip-hop and the music world as a whole. Hip-hop is there, its alive, but I wish there were more room for it to thrive.

2. I got my first dose of performance poetry by watching Russell Simmons HBO Def Poetry. Can you briefly describe your first experience with the art form and how it has impacted your outlook on life?

Amanda Diva: My first experience with spoken word was a poem my homeboy Robert Hardy did for a showcase out freshman year of college. I knew about Hip-Hop of course and poetry on the page but never of performing poetry. His performance opened my eyes to a new form of expression that captured many of my best assets, monologue, rhyming, and comfortability on stage. When I started writing rhymes they never seemed to fit into bars and I realized that they were meant to be poems and found myself delving into the art form I had just discovered to find my voice.

Ruby Veridiano-ching: I was first introduced to spoken word when I met Adriel Luis, my crewmember in ill-Literacy. I had already been writing poetry years before our introduction, but seeing it performed out loud instilled a new passion. Spoken word, combined with my increasing socio-political awareness and involvement in student activism in college, allowed me a platform to create art with a purpose. Since then, I've never doubted what it is that I do- create art with purpose, soul, and heart.

3. There are many performers, of all genres, that were playing sports or in love with something else before their occupation presently. Were you a high school jock or had other aspirations before accepting your calling? Collect... [laughing]

Amanda Diva: [Laughing] Great question! I was a competitive gymnast throughout middle school and the beginning of H.S. It was my passion and I still love it. (The walls of my room in my mother's house is still plastered with posters of the world's best gymnasts of 1996 - 1999). I broke my right wrist then immediately after my left and decided it was time to move on. I then committed my energy to acting attending a performing arts magnet H.S… and then, going to SUNY Purchase as a freshman in the acting conservatory there, but after a year there, some b.s. went down and they asked me to take a year off. I instead created my own major Black Studies with a concentration in the visual & performing arts and through my studies and continued need to be on stage found my way to poetry.

Ruby Veridiano-ching: I grew up in an immigrant Filipino family, so they always pushed a career in medicine. I was always taught that was the ideal route- I never once thought I'd make a career as an artist! I wanted to be a doctor- except I decided I hated all the pre-med classes! (Really, I sucked - I'm an artist, I create room for multiple answers, not linear ones). When I finally pursued my art as a full time career, I'm happier than ever.

3. Spoken-word is still thriving, however, how can we get the mainstream involved again like the MTV era in the 90's movement?

Amanda Diva: I don't think spoken word poetry is a mainstream thing. Though I support its popularity, if it becomes mainstream it then becomes polluted with all the things that travel in tributaries to the mainstream and that would defeat its entire purpose!

Ruby Veridiano-ching: I'm not entirely sure whether I would want spoken word to reach the mainstream level- spoken word poetry right now is still very much a grassroots movement, a push of the people, a pure art form that gives its artists freedom to say what the need. As a culture, spoken word is one of the only art forms that is known for its consciousness, its sensitivity, and its awareness - I guess I'm afraid that if it ever hits the mainstream, it will become distilled and diluted just like hip-hop, and I couldn't bear that. Spoken word is very much an art for the people, not for the profit, and while I do hope that it continues to gain popularity, I hope it will retain its culture, purity, and intent.

Game over, but check out their latest news:

Amanda Diva

Official Website: www.amandadiva.com

MySpace: www.myspace.com/AmandaDiva

Catch Amanda Diva weekly on VH1's "Best Week Ever!" Friday at 11pm EST! "Breakfast At Diva's" Monday till Friday 6am - noon EST on Sirius Satellite Radio's

Hip Hop Nation Channel 40

Ruby Veridiano-ching

Official Website: www.ill-literacy.com

MySpace: www.myspace.com/rubyskyy

- Currently hosting Socialush TV in San Francisco, CA
- Youth Speaks: Poet Mentor/Arts Educator in San Francisco
- Research assistant: We got Issues! Arts/Activism Non-profit in summer of 2007
- In constant tour with her group ill-Literacy

- By Wilkine Brutus (www.myspace.com/poeticballer)

the soCal mini-tour: a photo journal

2007-10-22T01:26:00.000-07:00

parliament - mr. wiggles

it
must be a
miracle,
inbed by midnight.

ah yes, tis another eye of the storm. verymuchloving these moments in my own bed, back home in good ol oakland. i rest my loins for but three moons and then vamoose to illinois on wednesday. oh, life.

this past wednesday to sunday was ill-lit's lil mini tour down cali. even with all the traveling we do, this one was the first time we did 4 different venues back to back. i know it doesn't sound like a lot of shows, but after 5 days on the road, accumulating a good 4 or 5 hours behind the wheel each day, the blessings of being under the same roof for at least a couple of nights are realized.

had a great time though, for real. mucho love to all the good folks who showed up to our shows!

and now. la journale de photo

merced. before picking up nico i made a pitstop at amoeba records on telegraph and swooped up two used parliament albums--mothership connection and motor booty affair. seemed only right, heading down to LA in october, to do our best to salvage the last of the sunshine and summer with some funk to bump bump bump. but yo, for the straight BOONIES, uc merced's show was offfffffffthehookk! for this one we brought along the hi-lifes (the biggity-band) to jam with us. yes. live music, that is the next step.

santa barbara. cyphers with the band at the back of the hotel makes us a little rushed for the 5.5 hour drive to UCSB. we arrive in the nick of time. good show, sushi and sake afterwards. all four of us falling asleep by 2am at the hotel room--not very rockstar of us, i know.

san marcos. oh, that's just north of san diego. irene is the poet who opened for us. after the show we are brought to the most psychedelic apartment ever. debauchery ensues.

fullerton. last week i called to ask my sister if her studio would fit four poets for a night. she said only if none of us were allergic to cats. they were maybe the cutest things ever. i woke up with scratches all over my right hand.

los angeles. you know you're in southern california when all the performers order jamba juices for the show.

long beach. yeah i know i cheated, that's not a picture of long beach above. but we were really there though, just to deadbeatexhausted to do anything, including take pictures. and then i decided to take a picture at the beach, but we reached the freeway instead and just decided to go straight home. anyway, i took this at some point, so lets pretend.

two more pix i like, and then i'm goooone....

on-the-road diet today: a mini-tub of bon bons, a bag of sun chips, and two slices of domino's pizza. i am going to feel so wonderful tomorrow...

EVENT TONIGHT!

2007-10-13T17:29:00.000-07:00

Sup fam, come check us out tonight! Two events in one, baby!

Saturday, October 13 | The Women and the Men | The Black New World | 836 Pine St, Oakland | 8pm | $10 General, $5 for Youth 18 and under | All Ages

In celebration of Nikki Giovanni’s seminal volume of verse, 6 artists of 3 generations will create new spoken word or dramatic responses to classic poetry.

Featured performers are HBO Def Poets Staceyann Chin, Amir Sulaiman, Dahlak Brathwaite and Lauren Whitehead, educational activist Greg Hodge, and 2006 SF poet laureate devorah major. The event is hosted by West Oakland’s most vibrant African-centered performance space, The Black New World.

and after the party's the afterparty...

SAME VENUE
Featuring SOUL NUBIAN DANCE, CHINAKA HODGE, ADRIEL LUIS, PRENTICE POWELL of hotwater cornbread, and the amazingly talented JENNIFER JOHNS!!!!!! and we didn't forget the mighty dj's TREAT-U-NICE, AYBEE, DJ RI-MARKABLE of venus fly love and the one and only dj SOUL NUBIAN!!

If that's not enough we gots special guests and love til 5 am in the morning. What else could you ask for? We'll see ya there, where ya party suits.... Brought to you by your friends at 33 degrees and the living word project! word up!

NEW TRACK: Everything is Illuminated

2007-10-12T13:23:00.001-07:00

oh snap!

[rightclick+save]

stuntin on em. lets move.

2007-10-11T10:55:00.000-07:00

This is a movement, so let me remember to move. Sometimes I fall guilty of chasing fame, debating tactics about how I’m gonna stunt, how fly my next fit is gonna be. Worry too much about how “rihanna” my rihanna cut is, what sneakers I’m gonna cop next, what and how people think I look, act, seem like.

Clearly, I deal with a lot of my own bullshit.

There’s a war out there, and I been so caught in my own bubble, I haven’t made the proper initiatives. So let me remember that I’ve got a voice, a purpose, and the means to make moves. Lately, I’ve been feeling restless, feeling like my boredom is the end of the world, like life is sort of unraveling, like being away from New York and its promise of helping an artist “blow up” meant being discouraged to be back home. Home in Oakland, where dreams of being a star feel a galaxy away.

(As the latter statement just revealed, I am also very corny.)

Hustling the way I’ve been, the idea of trying to chase fame admittedly takes some kind of precedence. It’s like this pretty, shiny thing tied to a string, and artists like me hop city to city touring trying to follow it, hoping just maybe, I’ll get to touch it.

But fuck all that.

And fuck me, for not being as aware as I should be, for being clouded and dazed, for picking up more tabloid magazines at the airport than actual news, for not being enough, sometimes.

Won’t my people wake up, won’t I wake up?

This morning was an awakening. A friend sent me a segment he produced on the Jena 6, and watching it was a reminder of the kind of world we live in- hateful, unjust, still unforgiving. Living in the Bay, I’m lucky enough to be part of this soy food eating, soul hippie, hug it out kind of community, yet there are sections in this country where color lines are as concrete of a divide as brick walls. Where confederate flags still fly. Where Filipino girls like me don’t exist. Where blatant racism is a way of life, where hanging nooses are considered childhood pranks, where little towns scattered across the country endure twisted versions of Jena 6 that we don’t hear about, where time has stood still, not maturing from the era before the civil rights movement, where segregation is still a normal part of living, where hate crimes are just glitches that people live among.

My people, we have got to move.

I watched this segment, and was shook by what Mos Def said. He’s my hero, as he’d always been, as he is again and again. We stunt for the wrong reasons. Celebrities visible for every photo opp, invisible during shit like this, when presence is more crucial than ever. No matter who we are, we have to hold ourselves accountable and responsible, use whatever we can to make people listen. Yes, us. Normal, every day people. We don't need to be celebrities to say some shit. We’re here, and we’re fighting, this is the cause we need to stand for, to stand behind, to stand up against.

“Everybody should be here, I’m fuckin mad, I’m disappointed. Mothafuckas got all these private planes, everyone should be landing on top of courthouses, stuntin on em. If you aint said shit, if you aint said shit today, you aint gonna say shit on the near future, what else take priority? You stunt when its time to take a photo opp, you stunt for nothing, then stunt now”- Mos Def on Jena 6

home sick.

2007-10-09T01:42:00.000-07:00

I don’t know where home is, sometimes. It’s this leaving and going thing, I’ve somehow gotten used to shuffling my life in between transit. I don’t even unpack anymore. The other day, in Alabama, I bought myself the cutest mini hairdryer, and its stuffed in my luggage along with my toiletry bag, ready to go whenever the next flight is booked. My lifestyle is strange and beautiful and crazy-I do love it.

There are so many of those beautiful moments when I realize I’m waking up in a new city, looking up at a sky from a different corner of the country, admiring Atlanta from my hotel room, overlooking the view from a high rise in the chi, pausing over the Brooklyn bridge and letting New York sink into me, and I can’t help but stop and make myself remember that those moments are real, that they’re actually happening, that doing what I love is what brought me there. It’s a trip, where my life is. Often, I come off stage in disbelief that this is what I do for a living- travel, do shows, enjoy life, and wake up in new cities. It’s a blessing, definitely; except sometimes I feel entirely spoiled and ridiculously fortunate. Ahhh well. Play on, playa.

Life is beautiful. Work is beautiful. Except, like everything, it isn’t perfect. There are weeks like this one, where I realize I’m home for a longer stretch than I’m used to, and I begin to feel restless. I start stressing over the process of writing more than I’m actually doing any writing, realize that my bank account is empty and shows don’t start for another two weeks, and my career choice doesn’t promise concrete guarantees. No promotions or raises in a given span of months. Just gotta take it as it comes, have faith that money will come somehow, and keep it moving.

Then, its that disorientation of being home and then not being home, never knowing what city I should rightfully be missing, where I belong. I love the Bay, I know that for sure. I always said that the best thing about leaving Oakland is coming right back, and I mean it. Except sometimes, when I get home, I miss the city I was just in, and the adjustment to normalcy becomes something like distress. I miss New York. I miss Atlanta. Except when I was in New York, I swore to everyone that there ain’t nothing like the Bay, then I come back here and I realize I can’t stand to be apart from that crazy city. I’m homesick, for something. Maybe just homesick for myself, for my own body, for some kind of normalcy.

I’m so blessed though, yeah. And yes, I’m pretty sure this is what I’m supposed to be doing. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have made it this far right. What would I be doing anyway if not this? Probably not writing at 1:31 AM. I’d probably have an unhealthy addiction to television, eat less soy meat, and never leave California. My luggage is still packed, my heart’s with this. Come on, let’s go.

lost in atlanta

2007-09-23T23:13:00.001-07:00

woot woot!

required reading

2007-09-22T13:05:00.001-07:00

kanye ft. weezy & busta - can't tell me nothing remix

i am cursed with the cruel talent of being unable to sleep in moving vehicles, especially planes. unless i knock myself out during takeoff (the brief moment where the plane is going upward diagonally, therefore helping me simulate laying on my back) i'm doomed to fill the following hours with flipping through bad television (when i'm only so lucky) and doing jumping jacks to make sure i don't get bloodclots in my lungs. as a result, i spend the entire flight as a sky-zombie, only able to engage in a few life-decaying forms of "work":

a) organize my itunes (you know, like, make sure the genres are consistent)
b) delete emails in my inbox
c) organize my itunes (you know, like, make sure i don't have doubles in my playlists)
d) stare at nico until he wakes up
e) write bad blogs
f) read

i'd like to say that my countless sleepless flight hours are spent reading pedagogy of the oppressed and the autobiography of malcom x, but alas, in my human vegetable state i'm unable to swallow the often jagged red pill of social justice (see that?? that was an alanis morissette AND matrix reference rolled into one! what are we, in the late 90's again??)

as you can see, deliriousness.

anyway, as often as i fly, i always forget to bring reading material, so amidst sprinting to my flight (which i'm usually late for) it clicks while i run past the duty-free store, dammit, i don't have anything to read on the flight! consequently, the last few months i've grown accustomed to reading magazines, and of the sparse selection offered at airports, i've become a regular reader of GQ and rolling stone.

GQ?? i know, i know, pretty shallow. i feel you--prior to becoming a GQ'er i also imagined that the magazine was reserved for white 50-year-olds in birkenstocks and burgundy robes. but those of you who have picked it up from time to time know how addictive it can be. after all, who wouldn't want to learn which argyle socks will match with their french cufflinks??

but i feel i need to back off a bit. all those "how to tip your golf cap" articles are getting to my head (get it?) and i've found myself hankering for things that i don't really need...like...sock suspenders...besides, i had a slightly awkward moment earlier when i caught myself spending too much time deciding over the cover with johnny depp or robert redford (i chose johnny).

and rolling stone is poison as well. i blame much of my recent longings to be a rock star on that, and watching too much fade to black. despite its legendary reputation as being the standard music mag (besides hiphop weekly, that is), and the fact that it does have some really insightful articles, the random mentions of britney are a total buzzkill and a bitter reminder that even the better magazines would rather dedicate a quarter page to a lip-syncing walmart queen than real artists who haven't made it to her "level."

anyway, i'm glad i was out of the country and not flying around last month, because how awkward would it be to explain sticking my nose in this cover to the guy sitting next to me?

but in the end, i can't complain. when my computer's run out of batteries, the rest of the crew has fallen asleep, and the stewardess has stopped passing out roasted peanuts (or started CHARGING for them...united airlines assholes...), these are the mags that keep me soft and warm all the way to the runway.

NEWS york headlines.

2007-08-24T12:11:00.001-07:00

I’m coming home in three weeks. Still, I have yet to write New York with enough justice. Most of my New York experiences are tucked in my journal, all ratty and ripping apart now, in sloppy, sometimes unfinished cursive scrambling to page during train rides. It is the 18th of August and I still have not written a new poem.

But today, I know and accept that it is okay.

New York. It has been a journey breaking and making with you. Two and a half months of getting tossed around, beat down, broken, and then getting back the fuck up again. Forward movement, always. The day after being broken, you heave me up and have me dancing and reaching so high I swear I’d been scraping my heels across the sky. One day, a fuming thunderstorm, the next, an exultant sunny day with an open, welcoming sun. New York is a cracked out diva with bi-polar episode and intense mood swings, and sometimes, I question whether I’ve gone crazy along with her.

Yes, it’s that intense.

A lot of crazy shit happens in New York, and every day is a news headline.

Exhibit A: CALI GIRL SAVES BABY ON SUBWAY.
I saved a baby, yall! A baby! How in the world, you might ask. During rush hours, masses of people will attempt to squeeze themselves with no mercy and train cars will transform into anchovy tins on railways. Most people will burrow their way in even at the risk of getting their bodies split in half by train doors. Note: If you are a parent and decide to carry your baby on your back like a backpack, do not, I repeat, do not, forget that you’ve got a baby. And do NOT, I repeat, do NOT, squeeze yourself by the train entrance and risk getting your baby squished by undiscriminating train doors. After I gasped and cried out, “the baby! the baby!” It was enough notice for the unknowing father to fall forward, avoid disaster, and thus, the rebirth of Ruby as a heroine of the MTA subway line was inaugurated. If it wasn’t for yours truly, that baby would have been a goner. (Did I just use the word “goner”?? Oh dear.)

Exhibit B: WOMAN CAUGHT WITH SEIZURE SPASMS AT 5TH AVE. BEST BUY.
Okay, so they weren’t exactly seizures. But my body was shaking uncontrollably for six entire minutes. But how could I help it, when just moments before, Common had just looked at me, gave my right hand a squeeze, and allowed my name to ripple across his perfect lips? The voice that has graced countless beautifully crafted tracks- and he used it to say MY name?? I could have died right then and there. The most beautiful man I have ever laid my eyes on in all my twenty four years. Still, I do not believe this was our intended meeting, Common, my love, as an in-store at Best Buy is hardly the right occasion for us to claim our undying love. You and I are destined, and I hate that the security at Best Buy would not acknowledge or recognize that this was destiny unraveling. Just you wait. I sure found MY forever.

Exhibit C:R. KELLY SONGS MAY BE ACCOUNTABLE FOR MENTAL INSANITY.

If I have to listen to “Same Girl” one more time...

I might have to get checked in to a mental illness rehabilitation center.

Then I might have to sue Kells for songs that trigger the possible breakdown of mental health. No lie. With lyrics as outlandish as “She call me big ole head/I call her bobble head/the way she wiggle it/ when I’m hittin it from the back up in my bed”, its more than enough reason to drive any hopeless romantic to madness. Should I just give up all hope now? In an era of “A Bay Bays” and grammatically incoherent holler music, I wonder if it is too much to expect a man to know how to honor a woman in the way that she deserves. Damn it, chivalry’s dead. And R. Kelly’s singing its funeral hymns. Oh please, oh please, make chivalry the new revival!

********

But my summer in New York is more than saving babies, meeting the most beautiful man alive, and going crazy from R. Kelly songs. In fact, I don’t believe I’m coming back to Cali entirely as the “same girl”. Aside from the chaos, the exhaustion, the grime, and the complaints about this city, there’s those beautiful moments that arrive without expectation, exploding like fireworks, unmistakably and unabashedly stunning like a true diva at her best performance. It’s beautiful conversations that leave me discovering more and more about myself, free Zap Mama concerts at Central Park, crying with Ishle in the middle of a Korean restaurant, remembering that I am a writer with a cause after watching Amiri Baracka and Sonia Sanchez read poetry, laughing my ass off, going delirious with dance on a night out, watching the stars atop a fire escape in the heart of Harlem, walking home from the bar watching 5 AM sunlight break open the morning sky, Kelly reading my palm, Jen telling me every day that the Universe has my back, an entire day at a Korean bath house with the women of We Got Issues!, eating Australian ice cream in the East Village, performing for the very first time at the Nuyorican, receiving hella love from a poetry reading in Jersey, Mark coming all the way from Queens to stand in the Harry Potter line with me at midnight, and discovering just how proud I am of myself for accepting my growth, my process, and my ability to make it in this city. It’s the beauty after the breakdown, the sun after the storm, the makeup after the breakup. This is what New York is like, a bi-polar diva, cracked out and crazy, and still, at the end of the day, you just can’t help but love her.

wishing on airplanes

2007-07-16T21:17:00.001-07:00

Missy’s Rooftop, 34th Street and 10th Avenue

On Manhattan rooftops
Crescent moons will cut slivers into nights
I will mistake planes for stars
Then imagine them fly westward
Towards home-

I miss Oakland.

From this part of the city
I can claim I am still on the West Side
Twist my fingers into W’s
Dictate speech like “hella” lived inside my mouth

But New York is home, for now

From up here I know this city is beautiful
Breathe it in
The same way I do Oakland’s skyline
Driving home on 580

Today the ride on the E train wasn’t so bad

I’m not so lost anymore
Earlier I talked to Jen of love
Like I a survivor
I realized I am strong, still

Whole even with scars

On Manhattan rooftops
I wonder if God could hear me better
I will make wishes on stars
Of conquering this city

If they were planes, maybe my heart will visit home

day 20: new yawwk, kevin michael, and ruby getting hella moded.

2007-07-06T09:16:00.001-07:00

New York is one of those crazy places where everything is possible and accessible. It’s really a city that never sleeps, and I think it’s contagious because for the first time in years, I think I’ve developed a mild case of insomnia. For a girl that normally sleeps before 12 AM and wakes at 8 AM for morning runs, this whole routine of kickin it til daybreak and waking up at noon is an adjustment- and the pudge in my tummy shows I’ve been missing out on all the cardio. Blarg.

I’ve been in New York City three weeks, and I’m having so much fun I decided that I wasn’t going home. Yes yes yall,

I’ve moved to New York.

For the summer, at least. And a decision born out of complete spontaneity. I love how adventurous I’m getting. I think all the touring has made the country smaller, and frankly, I’m beginning to get used to lugging my life around in my suitcase. But anyway, New York’s been mad nice, and I thought I’d update yall on what I’ve been getting into.

Exhibit A.
Kevin Michael. Guess we didn’t “Want the Same Thang”. Ruby is Hella Moded.

Moded. (adj.) California slang that refers to a sense of disenchantment after being put to shame, being embarrassed after a point has proved you wrong, or experiencing an incident that makes you wanna shy away and/or bow your head in shame and say “damn.”

Two weeks ago, Drizzle and I hit up the Lilly Allen concert and found ourselves impressed by her opening act, newcomer Kevin Michael. Opening acts aren’t supposed to steal the show- they’re supposed to warm up the crowd. But something about the billowing afro stomping around in fresh pairs of Creative Recs had us both saying, “wow, he’s pretty good”. And well, kinda cute.

Since then, I’ve checked out his myspace page, made his single my default song, and discovered he was doing an in-store appearance in Soho. Word! Hey, when I’m impressed, I’m impressed, so today, Kevin found me at the front row ready for the show. Ladies, we all know how male singers do. And we all melt when singers do their whole “let me charm you with my talent and sing to you and pretend for 10 seconds that this song is written for you” routine. Mista spotted me at the front row, sat next to me and started singing to me about panties. Panties! Come onnnn.... who wouldn’t have blushed?? I’ll admit it. I got just a little bit frazzled. After the set, he came by and chatted with us, and Drizzle looks over at me with a grin and nudges, “Dude. You should totally holler.” Feeling much braver in New York, I’m like, ok, I can handle that. I think. So I walk over and wave the mister over, and it went a lil something like this:

R: Hey Kevin, how long are you in NY? I’m opening for Lauryn Hill tomorrow in Jersey, you should come through.”

(So I made a shameless plug. But really, I just wanted an excuse to hang with the cute man w/ the afro, can you blame me?)

KM: Yeah, I would totally LOVE to come! I’ve got rehearsals, but I can work my way around it.

Yeeee! I hand him a business card.

R: Yeah, give me a call.

K: So I’ll give you a call tomorrow. But hey, would it be alright if I bring my date?

Eeeeek.

BOOOO!! Womp womp womp.

So this, ladies and gents, this is where Ruby gets hella moded. East coasters, this seems to be a west coast terminology for yall. So if you ever get into a situation like this one, you’ll know: you can fall into being “hella moded” or if you prefer, “mad moded, son”. You know, it’s all good though. It’s fine. Really. Kevin, we can still be homies. I ain’t even mad. And you can still give me a call- maybe we’ll both laugh about it. Haha.

At least I got a good story out of it, right. Blarg.

I have more Exhibits, but now I’m tired and feeling sad that Kevin’s bringing a date to my show with Lauryn.

Kidding.

Update yall with more later! And in the meantime, if you are in the East, please do check out our gig in Jersey with Miss Hill!

Day 20: NYC, Kevin Michael, and Ruby getting hella moded.

2007-07-05T23:37:00.000-07:00

nyc day 7: from dahlak and nico

2007-06-24T01:16:00.001-07:00

the homies reflect on the gentrification of harlem, et al.

nyc days 3 & 4: the outskirts of daydream

2007-06-20T01:06:00.001-07:00

ughgughgughgughgughghhhhh

there is a ridiculous science in the randomness that can fit within 48 hours.

365 days ago, there existed a congregation. star-eyed and yearning, excited from 3 trips in one year: vermont, alabama, and mu'fuggin paris
this year we breathe air humid. four connected branches that who but strangers half a decade back, dangle from a harlem balcony.

don't quite want to namedrop
but i must say...some people, you never expect to sip strawberry milk with...that you end up sipping strawberry milk with.

quite honestly, i have lived my life quite publicly as of late. the frequent entries, the sensation of instantly breaking open.

there are some trinkets of the past couple of days that i might store for myself. there has been so much within the past 72 hours in new york that i have hardly had the breathbreak to process.

36 hours ago, we find ourselves lying in glitter, camera lights ablaze in pier 59 studios before we take the metro back to morningside heights to choose a $6 meal over an $8 meal.

hah...life...

seven hours ago, fresh from inner-group turmoil and nervousness, we finally pull of the group pieces we've been yearning to break off since '05. it feels great.

i wanted to write a poem about how great writing is, but unfortunately, the black hole has crossed it back into the cliche.

ill-lit's off-broadway debut was quite the shiznit.
i love the moments when life moves faster than comprehension.

nyc day 1: haaaaaaaaarlem!

2007-06-16T10:16:00.000-07:00

live via: harlem

there's nothing like waking up with a hangover even though you didn't have a lick of alcohol the night before. rather, there's nothing like waking up and being glad that you opted not to mix any type of wine, malt liquor, or cognac with the tremendous mound of greasy greasy greasy greasy goodness that you stuffed your face with at 2 in the morning, which is now making its slow coarse through your veins, ultimately resting in your colon where you're sure it will sit, and rot, and sit some more, for the remainder of eternity. what i'm trying to say is, it's 10 am, our plane touched down in JFK exactly 12 hours ago, and based on the events that have preceded me sitting here in a complete stranger's morningside heights apartment, the next three weeks here in the big apple are going to be historical.

so ruby and i made our performance debut on the A train today. it's not that we were all standing on the platform saying "heyyyyy you wanna hear some POETRY!" and giving each other high fives, nor did we stand in the middle of the traincar and demand everyone's attention, start doing poetry, and then proceed to ask for donations to our middle school's basketball team. but it definitely was one of those moment when you just kind of wish you had a video camera around because it would've been great footage, and then realize the next morning while typing a blog about it that you not only had a video camera in your luggage, you also had a regular camera and cellphone, both of which have video functions. oh well...maybe the basketball donations idea would've made a better documentary bit anyway.

but when you start having a conversation with someone on the train, get into the discussion of why you're in town, and reveal that you're a spoken word artist, after the almost on-call responses of "spoken what?" "oh i do a bit of poetry myself," and "spoken what?" it's quite inevitable that you'll be challenged to perform. and after you say no and dude looks over at the person sitting next to you, sucks his teeth and says in a thick brooklyn accent, "oh...they just skeeeered, that's all," you pretty much have no choice. so it ends up being a li'l cypher, with the dude actually being an emcee himself, named "fresh."

on a side note: fresh, if you're reading this, please proceed to holla. i think it's safe to assume that at least 86% of the people living in the new york city vicinity
have referred to themselves in one way or another as "fresh." i know you told me your myspace address as "fresh to def," and since then i have tried every verbal interpretation of that, including but not limited to myspace dot com slash: freshtodef, fresh2deaf, freshtoodef, fresh2def, freshtoodeaf, and freshtodeaf. i even tried deftofresh, but alas.

so by the time we finally got to harlem where we'll be calling home for the remainder of june, we had worked a pretty big appetite. one of those "i boarded the plane at 1pm for a five hour flight and somehow it's now 12 hours later" kind of appetites. i place we decided to rest our cravings:

oh yeah. fried goodness, and the initiator of my waking up feeling like the back of my eyelids are pasted to my ass. you can only eat so many deep fried shrimps, deep fish slabs, and deep fried fries before realizing it might've been faster to just down a whole bottle of crisco.

new york moment: guy walks into the chicken place and says, "i'll have a snapple...and a mu'fuckin leg."

so, here we are. ruby and adriel, day numero uno of new york. the apartment has a fire escape which i predict to be my resident kick-it spot. it overlooks a vibrant corner of lennox just 3 blocks from the apollo (how sweet is that??) and the sunlight pours in in the morning (which i'm loving now, but wait until i have a real hangover). it's a glorious sight really, and i've had to restrain myself from proclaiming from my window in a "coming-to-america"-esque fashion.

within the next 48 hours we're going to do a show on the lower east side, watch lily allen live (!!!!) in brooklyn, and welcome dahlak and nico, who arrive tomorrow night!

more soon.

Thursday Night Incident at the CoHo

2007-05-27T12:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Caliph,
On request, I'm writing to inform you about the incidents that occurred leading up to and on May 24th, but I am forwarding this to others so that they too can have a firsthand account.
First of all, I would like to state that I do not fault Lexer Chou for anything that went wrong that night. Lexer served as a partner and eventually, a mediator between the Aggie Host and myself.
There were very few concerns raised when I first proposed the Hip-Hop show to Lexer over a month ago. A week after the flyers had been printed and the Facebook invitations had been sent out, Lexer relays the message that the Aggie Host has raised concerns about capacity. Based on the Facebook – which is a known unreliable source – they concluded that the show would be overcrowded. The Aggie Host believed that there would be a "problem" if people were getting turned away after the show was at capacity. I was given two options: either move my event to a different venue or ticket the event. Since moving to another venue would be extremely costly and both options resulted in a misleading flyer, I conceded to ticketing the event.
The week leading up to the event, Lexer delivered a host of question and concerns about my event. The Aggie Host wondered if there would be any "dancing" when I performed because they were scared of people being up against the glass and getting "rowdy". Throughout the week, I was repeatedly asked questions about the crowd I was expecting: where are they from, what are they usually like, etc. The Aggie Host had seen a YouTube Video of me performing at "Philippino Time" in Freeborn Hall and made it clear that they did not want a similar outcome.

For one, "Phillipino Time" is a family event that is peacefully held every year. Two, I perform MUSIC and sometimes when people hear music they like to move and dance. For some reason, the Aggie Host could not understand this idea.
The week of the show, I was given the tickets that read "No Ins and Outs" and "Bags Are Subject to Search". These details were printed on the ticket before I had any knowledge of them. Also, the capacity limit seemed to go down every time I talked to Lexer. I was told initially that the capacity was around 150. This went down to 145 to 140 to – eventually when the tickets were printed – 135. Lexer informed me that she would have to speak to all of the performers before the show to inform them to control the crowd when necessary. Additionally, she would have to give the event MC some notes to read out. These notes stated that Jason Williams, the MC, must warn the audience about "getting too hyphy" urging them to "stay respectful".
Many of the problems that occurred on that night were caused by miscommunication. Lexer informed me that people who came early could get in if there was room after all the ticketed people were in. Chuck, who I believe was the voice of the Aggie Host, decided at the door that since it was not advertised on the ticket that the ticket would be invalid after a certain time, people without tickets could not get in. Remember, however, that Chuck had no problem ticketing the event even though that detail was not advertised on the flyer. Chuck delayed the start of the show by doubling-back on the capacity limits he had agreed on implying that it was some sort of regulation that was out of his control. 30 minutes later, however, it turns out that these same capacity limits are acceptable. Chuck also refused to let us use stands for the speakers claiming that he believed that they would be knocked down. His grounds were "I've done a lot of shows". Chuck ordered the Aggie Host to pat down audience members and later I was informed that only people with baggy clothes and hats were being checked. After all the ticketed people entered, the space was not nearly full and there were plenty of people without tickets waiting outside. I asked him if he could let these people in after a certain time and he refused. I was frustrated, my crew was disheartened, and my audience was either growing angry outside or impatient inside. I decided to cancel the show as a means of protest.
Because of prior UC Davis Hip-Hop events, I was well aware of the discriminatory tactics used by the Aggie Host and/or the UCDPD to either discourage or cripple shows like mine. Only at campus Hip-Hop events are the audience members searched and patted down as though they are criminals. Only at these events are the organizers given inconsistent capacity limits and crowd regulations. Only at our events are concerns unjustly raised about rowdiness and attracting the wrong crowd. I ask, "Who is this wrong crowd? Who are these people you are so afraid of attracting?"
I was fully conscious of the subtle discrimination that was happening but being desperate to throw my own show on MY campus, I played their game. I went along with their interrogation thinking that it would only effect me. After seeing people I knew and loved being harassed at the door or turned away while asking my crewmembers to perform to a near empty CoHo, I could no longer turn my face to the long tradition of discrimination against Hip-Hop occurring at my school. I decided to stand up then and I'm committed to standing up until change comes.
I demand a consistent and thorough protocol for all music events that occur on campus. This protocol should set guidelines according to venue, event size, and time but not music genre. This demand is simple, specific, and reasonable but change will not happen unless the people are united in this. I have no intentions nor desire to get anyone fired. My aim is to raise the consciousness of this discriminatory process that takes place on our campus as well as nightclubs and other venues in the Northern California region. This incident is a microcosm of macro problem and I can only hope that it will catalyze further action to address this issue elsewhere.
I am interested in working with anyone who is committed to bringing change to this campus. This is a call to all communities to unify and rally against an unjust system. I plan to speak further about this throughout the week in hopes of inspiring my fellow students to action. Please stay posted on the events to come.

Sincerely,

Dahlak Brathwaite

"There are much bigger problems in the world, I know, but first I gotta take care of the world I know."

- Jay-Z

slip of the tongue @ UCLA

2007-05-26T23:27:00.001-07:00

my glares burn through her and i'm sure that such actions aren't foreign to her so in the presence of this higher being the weakness of my masculinity causes me to personify my

more pimpness at adrizzle.com