Christ died, now my past irrelevant

Rose again, and that’s a fact i relish in

Oh that’s food for thought, now I’m ravenous  

My greatest fear? Being myself

It’s why i took my own life just to be

somebody else

But it’s still me hoping i could be a better man

Dear God please just take me,

just take me as i am

See, though you’ve buried the old me

I need you to show me,

what it takes to rise like Hope did

I found Grace now I’m lost in the moment

If disappointments my Everest,

then i pray like Hillary I’ll stay devoted

This ain’t deep, cos really, what’s six feet?

Compared to drifting in the rivers of mainstream

Product of the Matrix, keepin Keanu as Jon Weak

And that to surrender and make peace is destined

A lady in red for the blue pill

But who knew? Yeah, a new you,

but old habits that die hard and stick harder than UHU

So wake up, follow the white rabbit

Movements erratic, but you got to let it

lead you cos trust is like a medic

Systematic when it gets rough

And the truth’s like a diamond in the carrot

So take me, take me as i am

Lord we both know I’ll never know a better plan

I got a sick soul, need your medicine

I got a weak sole, and it’s hard to make a stand

Cos this devil’s playin Game of Thrones

He wants me king, so he’ll gain control

But this life ain’t a game console

Cos the longer I’m lame, he’ll gain my soul

So this is me wiggling toes

Makin the first step, as the saying goes

A mannequin with the same clothes

Bout to come alive, strike a different pose

Flip you the bird, fk the food on this plate

I’m fed up with your lies and being displayed

I’ve opened my eyes, leaving this trade

Live my life, s’why i kicked the bucket with this

pair of legs

So make way, its revenge of the revenant

Christ died, now my past irrelevant

Rose again, and that’s a fact i relish in

Oh that’s food for thought, now I’m ravenous

Yeah ravenous…

All fed up, now I’m ravenous. 

10 Dec 2024/ Jon Lau

Wouldn’t dare say death is effortless

Bruised but I’m still Wayne, a man of thirst

Here’s a toast, it’s revenge of the revenant

Couldn’t rest in peace

Six feet under, all these dirt on me

I rode a hearse, but no one’s heard of it

Story wouldn’t end, till I murdered me

I couldn’t find the words, now I gotto trust His?

A little rusty cos I nvr did them justice

Back from the dead, but it’s still my last wish

It’s hard to trust me, so let’s not rush this

30 years I been laying paralyzed

Now I hear there’s life beyond this mat my paradise

Must’ve be blind too, through this pair of eyes

The way I turned on you, what a fan of Christ

But then He told me there’s Hope yet

Know I said it before, but He didn’t quote that

I just hope that

If this death means leaving that life,

then I mustn’t go back

See, I’m bout to stand for something,

though I don’t understand it yet

And I’m still going through changes,

so don’t take that penny back

I’m trying to be optimistic

But the author and this plot is twisted

Yet I thank God He’s a mystique

But hurry, cos mom and dad’s bored with this shit

So say the word, and I’ll pick up this mat

I wonder if it’ll hurt, making this stand

But the word says that to prosper is planned

So surely the pain will make some sense?

So damn, at wits end

Been wrestling the deck, here’s my weak hand

Take this ugliness, cos beauty’s His plan

If this is revenge,

then I guess it’s bout damn time to repent

Back from the grave now I’m ravenous

Wouldn’t dare say death is effortless

Bruised but I’m still Wayne, a man of thirst

Here’s a toast, it’s revenge of the revenant

1 Dec 2024/ Jon Lau

I’ve been living with this hate

I’ve been living in this cage

I’ve been living with this? Wait…

I’d like to think out of the box

Maybe that’s why i seem a little cuckoo,

like out of the clock

I mean, how could i not?

Hate every minute here

but i come back for the seconds,

so tell me, what is the plot?

Tell me, what is it, God?

Cos i feel like a fraud

I’m taking my time that i cannot afford

Told myself, baby steps

Now I’m back in the cot

Now I’m beggin you God

If this is me lookin for change

then I’ll take any penny you’ve got

I beg you to stop

this madness my dad is distraught

And now mom is just caught

In the crossfire

I swear it wasn’t conspired

But a choice I made

Knowing it was everything that hate

But something must be really wrong

if I chose to do it all again

Fk that, should I just save everyone the pain?

How could I live with this?

I should just leave with this

But where’s the hope in that if I just lead with this?

Man fk fate, now I’m mad

Escape, I’ve done that

But instead, I’ve come back

So why not? Make a comeback

I’ve been living in my head

I’ve been living with this hate

I’ve been living in this cage

I’ve been living with this? Wait…

20 Oct 2024/ Jon Lau

I’ve been living in this cage I’ve been living with this?

Wait… This weight my shoulders can’t seem to shake

At this rate I’d breakthrough, rock bottom instead

I’m sorry Dad, maybe it’s just talk Maybe it’s just thoughts

On second thought? Guess not A silly pawn on a chess board

A silly con tryna confess? Yes Lord I’m sorry mom if this gets too dark

I’m just tryna shed some light I know some died,

but couldn’t we wait for the sunrise?

I know, your son lies

But come the morning this curse will lift and you know I’m right

And right now it’s bout a grey area and tryna figure out what the matter is

Why I’m so bad at this,its like I married this Bitch and now she’s the catalyst

To my demise, a terrorist in my mind God I need a therapist

So I go at this pad with my pen till I tear a wrist

Tell you stories yours truly the antagonist

But these are words from my heart

Sadly these lips refuse to part

So I’m sorry again, for being sorry again

For this feeble attempt tryna explain

How I’m sick in my head

Then blaming it for my silly mistakes

And how many times should I repeat them?

Did I join em cos I couldn’t take a beating? It’s fate?

Fk that Escape, I’ve done that

But instead, I’ve come back

Now they say, I’m mad

Jon Lau/ 13 Oct 2024

So maybe this is just to kill the time

Either that or i hope it heals the mind

Yeah, hope it heals the mind

They said that time will do it

But as the years go i think my mind is ruined

Maybe I’m just assuming

Been ruminating, accumulating

Room full of doubts wonderin if i could’ve made it

Yeah i could admit it

Got high just to say that the sky’s the limit

Hated every minute

But i come back for seconds like i miss it

I’ve been a loser, abuser

Passing my days but never a new year

They say talk is cheap

Guess I’m payin for it now spending all this time feelin odd to speak

Always getting off the script

And when i do I could swear i put you all to sleep

Like, i get up to this mic

But its fuckin hard to describe

Intentions i wished but never had-

Guess i honestly lied

Couldn’t say I honestly tried

That’s sad, but that’s fact

And I’m sure it’s the one that’s got dad mad

It’s regrets, then relapse

A gambler just accumulating his debts

I’ve contemplated suicide

Held the devil’s hand and looked into his eyes

Didn’t have the courage then and don’t have it now

Guess I’m still a coward, but at least I won’t let me down

So I guess I could say it without gettin my tongue tied

But I know it’s possible, so yea I got that pun right

But it’s ok and it’s alright

Life’s a climb and we all fall right?

Learnt from Nightbird that life hurts

But never ever to go down without a fight first

9 March 2024 / Jon Lau

Yeah I don’t know Kali
But between me and God I’d rather pick Gandhi.
And they’re surprised that this guy reads.
The way I give birth to these verbs they mistake me for a gynae.

Just bidin my time and
Soakin up pressure cos I’m building me a diamond.
Yeah I bake shit bread
Got shipwrecked but I found me an island.
A migrant but good luck taking me out the zone I’m in.
Arghh, takin over takin over I’m the meanest pirate.

Uninvited but why wait?
Uhhh, flip it over flip it over,
This plot is my bitch and I ain’t battin eyelids while I write it.

Jon Lau / 10 Nov 2023

but its never occurred

to you that the hurt referred

has got me disturbed

since nobody’s heard

I’m on the verge

every letter, a purge

and every verse the courage

to reverse the carnage

and if it’s a curse?

then fuck it

I’ll be the first

to spit upon it

cos i figured how to profit

from the monsters in my head and closet

Gone were the days

when i was just another face

one with the world

but now I’m in outer space

And in case you haven’t noticed

its the stars that i gaze

You thought this phrase was just another phase

but you’ll be amazed when I’m moonwalking

Now who’s talkin?

yea it’s not my screws that are loose and poppin

the only screws loose are the ones on my coffin

Appalling, that this dead man just keeps on walkin

Grave diggin now his hands are throbbin

cos damn right it’s a riot when i write it

but it’s a way to keep me reminded

every night to thank God that I’m alright and

never to stop tryin

cos trials could be stones to triumph Goliath

and that’s a point i gotto get across

to my demons who say its impossible

but i say fuck the odds cos with God, nothing is

What a shock, that I’m an optimist?

Jon Lau / 14 Aug 2023

Hello from the other side

I tried to call a couple times

But no one answered

So I poured my heart into a couple lines

Through blood, sweat and tears

still he couldn’t cut the rhymes.

Re animating words is when he comes alive.

He’s thriving when they said he can’t survive.

Used to be a time when they said he was weird.

He would shut his eyes and wishes he’d disappear.

But he knows he has to face the fear.

Even if he has to taste his tears.

Even if he hates the face in mirrors.

All of the wasted years, worried bout the thoughts of peers.

Buried under a blanket with lots of prayers.

Is this how he’s gonna live his life?

Living behind a desk working 9 to 5?

Making calls but they’re hanging up so he starts to write.

And it starts tonight.

Taking the leap, no more living on the edge.

Faith in action, so he leaves it on a page.

Hardest thing he’ll ever have to do.

Not really, no one expects him to fill anyone’s shoes.

What did a boy of 33 ever have to prove?

Or rather, what does he have to lose?

Stands to gain the world, 

If he’d only shoot for the moon. 

So he keeps his mind on the cosmos like its gospel.

Cos he knows with God, nothing is impossible.

Jon Lau/ 15 April 2023

When I’m on the phone

I’ll sell you to sleep

When I’m on a roll

Yea I’m on a roll

Cos i cut corners

Skip the verse and jump straight for the chorus.

You think me odd cos my pitch is even.

You take the absence of tone for lack of experience.

But as you listen on, you wonder whats wrong,

that you’d actually find this appealing.

Where’s he going? What’s he selling?

I honestly don’t know but it sure is compelling.

Cos this dialogue’s diabolic.

Like diabetic’s blood sugar it skyrockets.

So sayonara, goodbye profits.

I’d wave but my hands are in side pockets.

So while you sign contracts,

I keep mum cos I’m a silent accomplice.

I have no idea what the actual cost is.

Behind cell dockets there’s no sign on my office.

You could’ve hung up on me,

now there’s not even a chance to pause this.

Yeah said I’m monotone

When I’m on the phone

Sell you to sleep

When I’m on a roll

OK this one’s cross sell.

How it works, you preach it like it’s gospel.

Make em believe you can bring the cost down.

Said there’s no doubt.

But if there are shadows I’ll kick the doors down.

Ho ho santa’s come early this x mas.

I’ll promise you the world like I’m sellin you an atlas.

Trust me I’ve had plenty of practice.

Voices in my head tell me I’m accustomed to the madness.

That’s why I’m reckless while I’m at this.

Cruisin through life maybe that’s why i crashed it.

Went up in flames like the tip of a matchstick.

Guess that’s how this white lamb became a black sheep.

A dollar for everytime i fell, that’s why the stack’s thick.

Irony isn’t lost cos I’m payin for it, reading off a sad script.

Like a T-rex about to relapse in Jurassic(pshyc!)

Now everyone’s rushing for the exits(tight!)

Yeah said I’m monotone

When I’m on the phone

I’ll sell you to sleep

When I’m on a roll

Jon Lau/ 8 April 2023

I thought that if i just

wrote some lines,

and you know, make em rhyme,

I could let some of my problems vaporise.

But that’s not how it works though.

Precipitation occurs,

and i guess it’s why the words flow.

Be like water, said Bruce Lee.

Brilliant words, now that’s truespeak.

Drop the anchor and remove this noose please.

The thought of death just gives me loose knees.

I mean, don’t you think it’s rash and foolish?

Dying without really knowing who i am, like who’s this?

Well I guess I’m facing the music.

Its amusing how I woke up this morning

but still running from my monsters, am I lucid?

Thought really hard about these words I wrote

But now I’m thinking it’s stupid.

See it’s confusing.

And all i wanna do is sing

But I’m staring at bars

that have no melody it’s depressing.

Me and God’s gonna sit and write my future.

He told me it is bright but my shadows tell me it’s futile.

And my sights diminishin.

But I’m keeping my eyes on the light with tunnel vision.

That’s optimism, but it goes both ways.

Glass half full when you know it really isn’t.

But I’m a winner, not a whiner.

I am a miracle, just cos it aint red, it’s white wine, duh.

And a reminder, I’m such a flight risk –

Over the moon that I put the buzz in lightyear.

So Lord I pray you give me a reason to rhyme yeah?

Lord give me a reason to rhyme.

And between the lines and verses,

maybe there I’ll find a purpose.

Yea a meaning in life, more than just satisfying my urges.

A little more perseverance.

The patience to be the product and not just seek to purchase.

Even when the Mondays are mundane,

that it gives me the strength I’m prayin

to beat my path like it’s my craft and not stray from my lane.

And hey I’m just like everyone else battling their demons.

It isn’t about the four walls

and the blue doors that make this prison.

It’s about breaking out of these thoughts, now that’s freedom.

So I’m rhyming yeah, but what are the reasons?

21 Feb 2023 Jon Lau