ilona the pest

yelp reviews

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 19:06:00 +0000

i don't know why, but i felt compelled to exchange a series of messages on yelp.com yesterday with a total stranger who had written a very negative review of one of my favorite local businesses.

actually, i think it's partly due to the fact that i had just read this blog post by the owner of another local business i like, SF's True Massage & Wellness, which got me thinking & empathizing about the serious impact a few thoughtless negative yelp reviews can have on a business. and also probably because i'm just naturally a busybody. :-/

anyway, here's the exchange.

his original review, rating the business one star (out of five):

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Jim G. - one star

So I received a call back about setting an appointment for a haircut. The woman asks what I need done. I say haircut for short hair and if possible an appointment today. She says Tim is available at 12 noon and he charges $85 a cut. I said that I had seen a $30 discount on Yelp for first time cut. She says yes and then silence. I ask her if Tim specialized in men's cuts. She says verbatim "none of my stylists specialize"..... and then silence. I said Ok.... does that mean he cuts men's hair?? She say's yes with another silence. I said that I will be getting back to you and hung up.

I feel bad for this office and Tim in particular for having such a rude receptionist and or stylist who returned my call. I'm sure he is a wonderful stylist to which I was never given the pleasure to meet. My recent stylist moved out of the city so had there been a welcoming return call, they would have had my continued business.

Thanks for making my decision easy for my business as well as referrals.

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here's our message exchange:

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(me to Jim G.)

i'm not affiliated with the salon in any way, other than as a longtime customer, but i just wanted to say that i think your review was unfair, and i wish you'd consider revising it. (i'm writing to you directly only because there's no way on yelp for me to mark your review publicly as "unhelpful" or "unfair.") if you didn't even get a haircut there -- or even attempt to schedule one, from what you said -- it seems incredibly harsh to give them one star. that can have a serious effect on a business's overall yelp rating. in my six years of going there, the stylists and assistants are all incredibly nice and helpful people. one *arguably* slightly less-than-friendly receptionist does not make an otherwise truly excellent business worthy of a one-star rating.

i wish you'd think about this and consider revising or deleting your review.

thanks,
ilona

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(Jim G.)

Well I'm glad to hear you've had a great experience with this company. Mine however, was not. I stated in my review that I held no grudge against the stylist's themselves. The purpose of yelp is to review and encourage businesses to treat people in a fair way. If the company was that worried they would email me themselves. If you want to fight their battles then go into PR. Read the review carefully about what I stated and send me a message a little more noteworthy.

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(me)

no offense, but it's not even totally clear from your review what the receptionist did wrong. you asked her a series of questions and she answered them.

i do think you're right that sometimes the receptionists there can come across as a little cold, which i agree is not a great feature for a business, especially because the receptionists provide the first impression for new customers, and that could easily turn someone off from using the business at all, as obviously happened with you. BUT, that is just one tiny piece of the experience of using that business as a whole, and it is far outweighed by the awesomeness and kindness of the people providing their actual, you know, services.

in sum: my point is just that since you didn't even end up using their services, that doesn't seem (to me) to merit the lowest possible rating for the entire business. i just think that's vastly disproportionate to what they did wrong. but, that's just according to my moral system -- maybe not yours.

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(Jim G.)

well it's interesting how 3 people found the review to be useful. As previously stated, the company should take pride in customer service and admit fault when present. All that was needed was a phone call saying sorry for your experience. Simple, to the point and shows concern.

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(me)

sure, but then, there's no button to mark a review as "unfair" or "petty" or "mean-spirited." oh well -- agree to disagree!

eating

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 04:52:00 +0000

i may or may not have a small problem with eating, body image, etc. brought on most recently by this damn wedding.

i used to be super skinny as a kid and over the years i've become more like regular thin. i haven't quite gotten used to that yet. the slight roundness & softness showing up in new places on my body seems foreign and out of place.

trying to do any kind of a diet is inherently a bad idea for a detail-oriented control freak like me. it's way too easy for me to slip into an unhealthily obsessed frame of mind about it without intending to.

i have to remind myself: this is the shape my body wants to be. we don't stay the same forever. i am awesome & hot & worth a lot more than setting records for skinniness. and my life is pretty miserable when i'm depriving myself of all the delicious foods that i love. it's definitely not worth it.

city of love

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 04:23:00 +0000

i went to paris last week. this was my first trip to europe as a grown-up, without my parents -- it's about time! -- and it was great. (i mean, duh, right?) the food was amazing, from ham-and-cheese on baguettes at every corner cafe to the one or two fancier restaurants we went to. we saw a million famous paintings and super old buildings. we saw a hilarious Showgirls-type performance at the Moulin Rouge. i got to practice my high-school french, which surprisingly came back pretty quickly even with all the newly aquired spanish getting in the way. i bought a beret.

also, i got engaged! you know, official-like, where the boy asks the girl and there's a ring and everything. of course, awesomely, the deed was accomplished atop the eiffel tower. (following in the esteemed footsteps of tom cruise and katie holmes, someone informed me today.) i love it. i think i would have been slightly disappointed with anything less cliched.

making the big announcement and talking about it with other people feels kind of embarassing and strange. yes, yes, i write a blog and use twitter regularly, but there are certain personal subjects that make me feel even more self-conscious and awkward than usual. having to talk about L-O-V-E with my parents, co-workers, and acquaintances -- even friends -- is super embarassing for me. the unavoidably public act of announcing one's engagement or marriage seems somehow show-offy and inappropriately personal. i read this post on jezebel.com a few weeks ago about preferring to avoid using the word "fiance," and i totally share the writer's discomfort. my betrothed and i are very happy, i assure you, and yes, i admit, we're going to get married someday in the not-too-distant future and have babies and live together happily forever. now let's talk about something else.

prop 8 update

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Tue, 18 Nov 2008 20:09:00 +0000

it was really depressing to lose in the election (and not just in CA, but in florida, arkansas, arizona...). but we're working on it. i think we have a good chance to get prop 8 overturned in the courts. it completely undermines the very concept of a constitution, and particularly the idea of equal protection, to suggest that a constitution could be amended by a simple majority vote to selectively deny important rights to unpopular minority groups. see, e.g., Romer v. Evans. i'm getting more certain by the day that we're going to prevail.

and if not, well, it'll be back to the ballot box for another round of california's home-grown brand of expensive, irresponsible direct democracy. i honestly think we can win there, too, given another year or two (or three, or four) for the shameful reality of what's been done to sink in.

if there's been one positive benefit of losing, it's that this has been a wake-up call for queer people and our allies everywhere. the recent spontaneous post-election protests have felt like this generation's stonewall rebellion. it's thrilling and moving to stand up with so many others and demand that we all get the same human rights. a vast movement across the country seems to be rising up, having realized suddenly that we are NOT considered equal citizens, and understanding for what seems like the first time how very very wrong that is -- and deciding that we are not going to meekly accept it anymore.

no on 8 campaign needs our help

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 17:21:00 +0000

the election is a week away. california's proposition 8, which would take away the right to marry from same-sex couples, is virtually tied in the polls and in fundraising. if we can defeat this mean-spirited effort to take away rights, we will have turned a massive corner in this country. as the right wing proponents of prop 8 have been saying, this would be their armageddon. if we can defeat them, they will be critically wounded and will finally have to concede that the country does not agree with their agenda to impose their religious fundamentalist values on everyone else.

but we could easily lose, and prop 8 could pass. whether we can defeat prop 8 will depend on how much money we can raise to keep our ads on the air in the next week, to reach undecided voters. the right wing groups are sounding the desperate appeal to their supporters, trying to raise millions more to ensure their win. they're extremely motivated by the idea that their children's salvation depends on this. can we rouse ourselves to be equally motivated by the urgent need to defend equal rights and protect our constitution from being sullied with discrimination? i hope so.

please help. please. yes, you. if you live in california, vote no on 8. tell your friends. volunteer. and no matter where you live, please contribute to the No on 8 campaign. this fight is so close that even a little will make a difference. you can do so here, or even right here:
thanks.

blank check

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 17:39:00 +0000

this is slightly old news, but i heard barbara boxer say this on the radio earlier today and it raised my hackles all over again. if i may: A CHECK FOR $700 BILLION IS NOT A "BLANK" CHECK.

thank you.

song

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 03:50:00 +0000

my friend jk and i were recently reminiscing over email about our old band -- how much we rocked, and how much fun it was. inspired, after going to the beach to cool off, i hung out at my bf's music studio for a few hours this afternoon. we recorded a cover of New York City by They Might Be Giants (with some influence from Cub's cover). [CORRECTION: i am a loser. the song was written by Cub, and covered by TMBG. so reverse that.] i was going to add piano but i couldn't figure out a good part in time. it's not super-polished, but i think it's pretty cute!

i should really play music more often. (mid-year's resolution?) it's a much more satisfying way to spend my free time than eating candy and watching reality TV.

heat

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 16:12:00 +0000

it is so hot in my apartment it's almost unbearable. it's too hot to sleep. the thermostat says it's 90 right now (at 9:00 a.m.). okay, i'm sure people throughout history have had it worse, but i'm just not used to baking indoors like this. i had to sleep with a wet handtowel draped around me, to encourage evaporation & cooling (it's surprisingly effective).

this situation is ironically caused by san francisco's generally moderate, cool temperatures -- no one has air conditioning, so we roast the few days a year that it gets above 75. my current apartment is particularly poorly set up for ventilation -- it only has windows on one side, so there's no circulation, and those windows get baked by the sun all day. thank god we're moving in a couple of weeks! the new apartment won't have A/C, of course, but at least it has windows on three sides, and seems to be more shaded by trees. and it's on the ground floor rather than the third floor.

until then, i'm just going to have to sip ice water and go to the movies as often as possible.

jewish museum (jewseum?)

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 02:57:00 +0000

last night we went to this all-night party celebrating the opening of the new Contemporary Jewish Museum in san francisco. well, we didn't stay all night, but it was still pretty fun. among the weird/cool things to see:

- a live performance by the cambodian pop-style band dengue fever. (no, i have no idea what they have to do with judaism, or jews.)

- humorous modern interpretations of the mostly obscure 613 mitzvot (commandments) from deuteronomy, courtesy of this handy interactive website.

- a delightful exhibit about famed children's author and illustrator william steig. remember Sylvester and the Magic Pebble? (oh, and he was the original creator of Shrek.) his stories and drawings are so deeply rooted in my subconscious from childhood, it's almost spooky to see them now. but spooky in a good way. plus i got to learn all about his other career as a cartoonist for The New Yorker. awesome.

one slightly weird part of the evening was that i'm pretty sure a lot of the people we met/hung out with assumed that i'm jewish, which i'm not. i felt a bit like an impostor, a spy in their midst, laughing along (feeling secretly guilty) at the self-deprecating jokes about jews and trying not to look too confused at the casual references to unfamiliar religious traditions or yiddish words.

the most dramatic example of that was when we met a hasidic rabbi and his wife: i was rebuffed when i went in to shake his hand, because he can't touch women. ah. of course. (charming tradition, that.) they were extremely friendly and invited us to their house for shabbos dinner sometime, presumably with the idea to bring back into the fold a couple of secular jews. little do they know that not only am i a shiksa, but ongoing association with me will in fact defile the actual jew in the family. awkward! :-/

equality!

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Thu, 15 May 2008 17:45:00 +0000

the california supreme court just held that the state must permit same-sex couples to marry. they said that domestic partnership, which currently gives same-sex couples all the same rights as marriage under state law, except under a different name, is not good enough. having a separate system makes same-sex couples second-class citizens, which our constitution doesn't permit.

check out the opinion here. (it's long!) (for you legal nerds, note that the court also held that sexual orientation is a suspect class, and therefore distinctions based on sexual orientation are subject to strict scrutiny. that's pretty bold and exciting, too.)

this is so freaking awesome i can't even believe it. i love california!

test/update

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Thu, 08 May 2008 18:39:00 +0000

trying to make some changes to the sidebar, and having problems getting them to appear. just ignore this!

update: oh good, it finally worked. it just took a thousand years and as many attempts. don't know if the problem was my browser, or my internet connection, or blogger.

but now, as you can see, the sidebar features the most recent lovely picture i sent from my iphone to mobog, followed by the three latest witty and perceptive messages i sent to twitter, for your up-to-the-minute viewing and reading pleasure.

oyez

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Mon, 05 May 2008 03:19:00 +0000

interesting etymological discovery from my spanish studies: i'm learning about the imperative tense right now (i.e., commands), and i today i saw that the second-person informal singular imperative form of the verb oir ("to hear") is "oye". pronounced "OH-yay". as in "oyez! oyez!", said to call a court into session. which means "hear ye, hear ye". ("oyez" is some form of old french or bastardized "law" french, which made its way into english-language courts courtesy of the norman invasion.)

in other words -- it's the SAME WORD.

awesome.

spanishpod

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Sun, 04 May 2008 17:36:00 +0000

i've been trying to learn spanish for a few months now. to supplement the classes i'm taking, i've been looking for audio lessons i can download to my iphone and listen to for extra practice. most of the free stuff i found sucks, but one podcast is completely super amazing compared to the rest: spanishpod.

i mostly listen to the elementary lessons, and the two hosts, JP and liliana, are so freaking adorable i can't stand it. JP is a huge grammar nerd and linguist like me (except, you know, better educated and more qualified). i basically have a giant crush on both of them. also i just figured out today from google-stalking him that JP has a blog or two. excellent! now i can get my grammar-nerd fix in multiple media.

the show is really high quality, and they have hundreds of lessons available on their website for free, and you can download the latest episodes for free to itunes. i'm not sure how they make money giving all that away, but i'm very grateful that they do.

shoe heel

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 17:12:00 +0000

this morning on my way to work i noticed that the heel had come almost entirely off one of my boots. (that's what happens when i wear the same boots 4x a week for two years, and also go hiking in them. (they are not hiking boots by any means.) i'm surprised they haven't fallen apart sooner.) i managed to stick it back on, but who knows how long it'll hold. i think i'll be spending the day stamping it into place.

mental note: it would be helpful to keep an extra pair of shoes at work for occasions like this. it's tough to get a shoe repaired while the shoe is on a foot.

unavoidable

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Fri, 11 Apr 2008 03:47:00 +0000

every day for the past few weeks i've been intending to do my taxes.

eh. maybe tomorrow.

in-laws

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 03:52:00 +0000

my charming in-laws visited SF this weekend. seriously, they're awesome. it was especially nice to see grandma, with whom i used to go to dinner regularly when i lived in new york. she is super-sassy.

we took a whole tour of san francisco today, which was surprisingly interesting and educational, even for an old-timer californian like me. here's me in front of the azaleas at the japanese tea garden in golden gate park:

life is awesome

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 01:22:00 +0000

(1) i started a new job last week, and i LOVE it. it's at a non-profit organization that does "impact litigation" for LGBT rights. my second day i was at the office until two in the morning writing an amicus brief to the eighth circuit, appealing a denial of asylum for a gay man from pakistan. the other lawyers were apologetic about the crazy pace, but i loved every second of it. the work i'm doing now is exciting, and compelling, and intellectually challenging, and they give me as much responsibility as i can handle. i feel like i'm finally getting the opportunity i've been longing for, to work up to my full potential, and it feels fantastic.

(2) i love being back in san francisco. even though it's not exactly balmy, the weather here is dramatically more pleasant than the frigid new york winter. and it just smells so lovely here, like trees and the ocean.

(3) it's also great being back among the friends and loved ones i left behind. it's hard moving to a new city and making friends -- at least for an awkward homebody like me. it's nice to be back where i'm comfortable and i know that i'm loved.

however, i sincerely miss my sister and our cats. and everyone else who might be reading this. :)

(4) i just started taking spanish lessons, which i have been meaning to do for years and years. i found a spanish school that's located in my office building, on the very next floor, which is ridiculously convenient. i'm proud of myself for actually following through with my plan to learn spanish. i'm going to be fluent in no time. perhaps i'll start posting translations of all my blog posts on ilonalapesada.com

(5) lastly, this afternoon, i got a new car! it's a 2003 mini cooper, dark silver with a white top (my favorite color combo):

i've coveted a mini cooper forever, so i'm extremely excited that my dream car is mine at last. it's super fun to be driving again, since i haven't had a car for the past four or five years. it's particularly fun to drive a stick shift again. i find driving stick about 10 times more enjoyable and relaxing than driving an automatic (probably because i'm a control freak), so this is really my absolute dream car. i can't wait to take this baby out on a road trip. maybe this weekend!

sick

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 18:57:00 +0000

i'm glad i chose the over-cautious route and went to a travel clinic before leaving for this trip. i just started taking the antibiotic pills. i really, really should have listened to the guidebook and only ordered beverages without ice. that lemonade was probably made with local water too. dammit.

monkeys (and sloths)

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Sun, 09 Mar 2008 04:34:00 +0000

as promised, here are some videos of monkeys we saw in the vicinity of manuel antonio national park, costa rica.

here are some white-faced capuchin monkeys at the beach:

here are some of the same type of monkeys begging for food on a boat tour of a mangrove forest (don't worry, we didn't give them any):

and here's a three-toed sloth climbing sloooowly down a tree. it's a mommy sloth, with a baby clinging to her stomach! i love it when you can see both of their heads looking all around:

that was probably the best of the wildlife-watching for this trip. as of today we're in panama for a week of snorkeling and spanish lessons.

vacating

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Sun, 02 Mar 2008 17:51:00 +0000

sorry it's been a thousand years. studying for the bar exam sucked. thank goodness it's over. i'm glad i basically never have to take a test again in my life if i don't want to.

now i'm chilling out for two weeks in costa rica and panama. my two goals are to see a lot of monkeys and improve my spanish. i'm making some headway with my spanish, but there've been no monkey sightings in the first 24 hours. i'll post pictures if i do come across any.

why obama

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 18:55:00 +0000

in response to a recent question in the comments section: why am i supporting barack obama?

it's not about his stances on particular issues -- i think each of the democratic candidates would be just fine on any of the issues that i care about. (and no, i don't think that makes me a lazy voter or a bad citizen. this is a primary. if i feel satisfied with the views and policies of all the candidates, i think it's absolutely reasonable to focus on qualities like electability and leadership.) i am simply convinced that obama would be the most effective leader, both domestically and internationally, because he exudes warmth, intelligence, thoughtfulness, and honesty to a degree that i've rarely (if ever) seen in a politician. i trust him and i see that he inspires trust in other people. i want a democratic president who will be respected and admired across party lines, for generations to come, and i think obama can be that kind of president -- in no small part because it seems obvious that he genuinely respects all people.

i think caroline kennedy's op-ed in the New York Times summed it up very nicely. check it out if you're not yet convinced. or read his books, Dreams From My Father and The Audacity of Hope.

he's a uniquely talented, caring, and smart leader who makes me feel good about america. what more could you ask for in a president?

two birds

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 18:21:00 +0000

since i've already taken (and passed) two bar exams, i'm scaling down the studying this time around. i took the full barbri class just a year and a half ago, so now i'm just doing a cheapo at-home version. my favorite method of learning is listening to recorded lectures, not reading, so i'm pleased that i have 50-odd hours of lectures to listen to on my iPod at my leisure over the next four weeks.

but i'm starting to realize that sitting around listening all day makes me incredibly freaking antsy. extended, concentrated listening is a kind of unusual activity, for those of us used to engaging our other senses. as a result, i'm inclined to multitask, but i can't do other things that are too distracting, or i'll stop paying attention -- and then my only hope will be to learn by osmosis, which i wouldn't like to rely on.

i've determined the best option for non-distracting multitasking: cleaning. not my usual hobby, but i feel strangely compelled, to avoid going out of my mind with boredom. i'm going to have the best-organized apartment in san francisco by the day of the exam.

moving update 2

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Sat, 26 Jan 2008 03:35:00 +0000

i'm still here. i missed my flight -- well, not technically "missed", but realized for sure at 15 minutes past the time i really really needed to leave my house that i was absurdly far from being ready to leave, so i called the airline to switch a later flight. now i'm leaving at 7 a.m.! woo. i guess i'll go to bed early-ish, get up at 4, and then nap on the plane. so much for trying to pre-adjust to west coast time.

after my plane lands at 10:30 a.m., i'm going straight over to obama HQ SF for a few hours of phone banking. this will be my first actual volunteer activity for the campaign, so i'm excited. this thing just feels so close. it really feels like the effort of one teeny-tiny individual like me could make a difference.

save scrabulous

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 03:24:00 +0000

noooooooo... without scrabulous, how am i supposed to get my daily (throughout the day-ly) scrabble fix with friends scattered across the country? if hasbro has any sense at all, it will find a way to keep scrabulous alive -- that little facebook app is creating legions of newly addicted scrabble fans, and no product currently available is anywhere close to as good or as popular.

moving update

noreply@blogger.com (ilona) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 04:25:00 +0000

i'm moving on friday (and working through thursday). so far i've packed & shipped exactly five boxes -- but they added up to a combined weight of about 220 pounds, so i think i'm doing okay. i'm taking full advantage of the postal service's cheapo "media mail" rate, because i own about a thousand books. the law school books are the worst -- gigantic and hardbound and heavy. nonetheless, i'm a pack rat, especially when it comes to books, so i'm going to keep them forever.

i still don't have a job lined up, but i suddenly have several attractive possibilities on the horizon, which is quite a relief (as compared to the months on end up until now in which i didn't see a single job posting that interested me). not that i have any offers -- just applications to send out. but it's fun to have something concrete to daydream about.