♥ The beautiful mind ♥

I'm in repair. Still not together, but I'm getting there.

2012-02-06T16:17:00.002+09:00

I just gave myself away. Again.

I feel used. Anguish and deep hurt.

I am full of emotions right now. Mixed emotions are rushing down on me.
Like a cold stream running water waiting for the fall.

All the hate, grudges, passionate love and obsession.

All of them are vanishing like smoke in the air.
Like growling thunders up on that big dark cloud as a sign of rain.
Of releasing all the hurt. Everything.

Slowly running and fading like sand in the palm of my hand,
slowly falling from my fingers, until there's nothing left.

Nothing to feel.
Nothing to give.
Nothing to ask.
To beg for or even to root for.
No anything, No nothing.

It feels good.

Finally, it set me free.

I think it's safe to give myself away now.
Someone has been brave enough to break all these walls I made up around me.

Love is really inevitable. And I'm glad it is.

#FreeAtlast

Me and my friend plini's new cover :D

2012-01-31T11:20:00.000+09:00

Just being silly. :))
we love this song though! x

Channing Tatum and Ryan Gosling.

2012-01-26T21:01:00.001+09:00

I will be naming my sons Channing and Ryan for some obvious reasons.

50% more likely to be hot hot hot!

I cannot contain it enough!!! These two are just so gorgeous... and so sexy... fuckload of sexiness.

CHANNING TATUM

and ofcourse, my future husband.

RYAN GOSLING

Let's get this straight. I think Eva Longoria is such a hottie. But I really really really want him to get back with Regina George. (lol) Rachel Mc 'Adams. They look so perfect together, it breaks my heart.

So pls Ryan get back with Rachel or marry me!

P.S
The Vow - How I cannot wait to watch this movie.
I have a strong feeling I am going to live vicariously through Rachel McAdam's character.
This movie is gunna be awesome!! I'm ecstatic. :))

Oh god. I remember when I was waiting for it to come out last 8mos ago.
And now I'm one step closer to it. Oh welps! Finally. x

Paint my love :)

2012-01-26T20:28:00.000+09:00

Finally another painting post. I did this like a week ago cause I really miss doing paintings.

It's simple and very calm. I love painting trees simply because they're easy to paint and very I don't know, I love painting natures/landscape. or whatever. ha.

P.S

I am only trying to better myself these past few days. Made some changes and I'm glad it's working.

And I'm finally learning how to accept the possibilities of finding and welcoming love in my life.

I am not lost anymore. Someone is willing to find me and put back all the pieces that has been shattered and lost.

and baby,

Love looks good on me. x

Fresh Lumpia :)

2012-01-26T00:22:00.000+09:00

So I woke up one morning craving for Fresh Lumpia.. I have no idea why I'm craving but it felt like I was going insane for fresh lumpia. This is btw, one of my favorite food. And so I asked my mom to buy all the ingredients for me and so yep.. here it is. :)

I swear, this is the closest taste from Max's fresh lumpia. (I'm crazy about them btw)

The recipe:
Filling
2 cups sweet potato, cubed
2 tbsp fish sauce (patis)
1 lb cabbage, shredded
1 ½ cup carrots, julienned
½ cup water
½ cup peanuts, crushed
6 pieces Lettuce leaves
½ lb pork, thinly sliced
1 pack extra firm tofu, sliced in strips
1 cup shrimp, shelled and deveined
2 cups string beans (baguio beans), chopped
1 medium sized onions, chopped
½ cup cilantro, chopped
3 tbsp garlic, minced
1 pork cube

Wrapper
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 pieces raw eggs
2 tbsp cooking oil
½ tsp salt
1½ cups milk

Sauce
1 tbsp soy sauce
½ cup brown sugar
2 cups water
½ pork cube
1 tbsp garlic, minced
2 tbsp corn starch (diluted in 4 tbsp water)
(Source: Panlasang Pinoy)

and ofcourse,

Since it's Chinese New Year I also made Tikoy lumpia for dessert - just to complete the lumpia combo. LOL

I just soaked the tikoy first in beaten eggs and then rolled on lumpia wrapper.

and just added my Sour cream frenchies :)

So pls don't ask me why I gained too much weight lately. Cooking is my favorite and Food is my first love.

P.S
I seriously need to get back on my belly dancing and samba.
Summer is fast approaching.. I need to look good on my Highwaisted Bikini! x

My Girly cupcakes! :)

2012-01-22T18:07:00.001+09:00

Baking is an art. and for the love of it. I always make sure I bake every weekends. :)

So here I made my very first home made fondant out of Marshmallow. (as shown in my twitter ILOVETIN) Its very easy to make but also very sticky and messy, so make sure to follow all the rules in making your own fondant.

I just used my cookie cutter star, heart and bear and just added some details.

and more pictures! :)

The next thing I will do is my first ever zebra print cake! :)

P.S
The only thing funny about making pretty cupcakes/cakes is,
its too pretty to be eaten. lol

Baking on a Sunday morning... :)

2012-01-15T23:25:00.001+09:00

Didn't have anything to do since it's Sunday, So I decided to bake first thing in the morning.

It's "Better than sex chocolate cupcake." I have a very sweet tooth so I'm crazy about cupcakes and shizz.. and I'm very much into baking, cooking these days so whatever. Here it is.

The recipe is very simple:

Ingredients
½ cup Unsalted Butter, at room temperature
¾ cup Granulated Sugar
¼ cup Brown Sugar
1 Egg
½ cup Cocoa Powder
1 cup All Purpose Flour
¼ tsp Salt
1 tsp Vanilla Extract
½ tsp Instant Espresso Powder
1/2 tsp Baking Powder
½ tsp Baking Soda
3/4 cup Buttermilk

Process,

1) Preheat your oven to 350 degrees, line a 12 piece cupcake tin with liners and set aside.

2) In a small bowl, combine the flour, cocoa powder, baking powder, baking soda and salt, set aside.

3) In a large bowl, cream together the butter and both sugars, add the egg and vanilla and whisk until smooth.

4) Add the dry ingredients and mix just until they are almost all incorporated. Add the buttermilk and mix everything quickly so you don’t over mix.

5) Using an ice cream scoop, fill your muffin tin and bake them for about 18 to 20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean when inserted in the center of a cupcake.

6) Let them cool completely before frosting them.

REMINDERS: Do not over mix it, and put a pudding mix to make it moisty.

The FROSTING:

I decided to make an Almond buttercream frosting for my cuppies. and all you need is an Almond clear extract for the almond flavoring, some confectioners, milk and butter. I suggest if you want your frosting to be white just use a shortening or avoid over powering the butter. :)

ENJOY! xxx

it's the 2012 baby. and my still lazyyyy..

2012-01-13T23:48:00.002+09:00

I've been gaining too much weight lately and I think everyone knows I should really go on a diet, like yeah shove it on my face bitches. lol but srsly I haven't found my appetite or that divine feeling to go out and take a run or do belly dancing again. I'm such a lazy ass girl, and I plan on being like this for the rest of the 2012 maybe. Or maybe not. That depends if Ryan Gosling will be my next boyfriend in which case then I have to be skinny as fuck.

Anyhow, I've been stressing all day cause of a lot of shit. I hate my school, and my subject., not to mention my fucking fucked up schedule. I know it's not very lady like to curse a lot. But what the fuck I hate it. I fucking hate it. I can't wait to graduate and have a job/marry a billionaire. LOL Maybe take another course and study abroad, Sydney ftw.

But don't get me wrong.. I luuurve my life and my family. and I won't trade them to anything in this world, (except being with Ryan Gosling.) But I don't know.. something is really missing. It's like I don't know. I can't even explain it. I can't say that it's wrong or something its just that it wasn't there. Haven't been there for a long time. I don't know.. a boy maybe? ekk, I'm getting goosebumps while typing this.. no I don't miss having a boy. I have guy friends and suitors these days but I haven't really found the one yet, or its just that I'm not really looking cause I know I can't really commit to it yet. I'm busy with my life, I do a lot of shit lately like cooking and baking and another shit. I basically can't just babysit a grown up man while I'm not being paid for it. lol Pun intended. I guess, for me It's just a waste of time now.. But I'm okay with boys.. been hanging out with this guy friend of mine, which is a friend of my ex. He just got back from France and were hanging cause I need to show him around makati. So I've been going all the way to makati from school. Which is fine cause he's like the best.. cause he got what I want..

dum.. dum.. dum.. dum....

THIS.

MY ALL TIME FAVORITE. now I am more relaxed. lol

and a lot of chocolates too. x

Okay, now I'm lazy again to upload more photos.

kthanksbye

Happy 2012! :)

2012-01-01T16:50:00.002+09:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! :)

Hope all of you had a good New Year's eve! x

Starting off 2011 was quite good, until I got my heart broken. Seems like both two Christmas ago, I had my heart broken all the freaking time. But thank God, I have another year to come out fresh and feel clean again. ha! Nothings better than a new start. A chance to live again. *cheers*

I haven't really figured out what changes I would make this New Year. But it's just probably simple.. to make more time for blogging, and post pictures as much as possible and won't let my dslr just sit there doing nothing when I can actually use it to capture simple joys/things in my everyday life. I mean yknow. Just for a change. Coz yknow what they say.. If you blogged once a week, you do not have a blog. lol

and Maybe, in more serious matter, i'll just forget about "What if's?" and maybe start remembering "What will be?". I mean. I've spent too much time holding onto the past that I forget how to live my life. Now this year, it will be for me. (though New Year's kiss will be postponed till next year) lol :)

Some of The foodies x

The Panacotta :)

home made hawaiian pizza!

My own version of Graham cake,. It has leche flan inside. Really yummy! x

Mom's baked macaroni.

And a whole lot more like my favorite, Fruit salad, Beef mechado, Roasted Chicken, barbeque, leche flan. A certified food coma. <3 I think this is the only Christmas and New Year where I didn't have photos of myself taken. I don't know why but I promise to get back on being addict/vain of taking self portraits like never before.lol

My New Year's nail color :)

P.S
2011 went by too fast but it definitely brought life long memories. People to regret, to forget, to lose and people to be thankful for. Now I don't know if the world will end this year but I intend on living like it will. ☺ Cheers to the New Year! New life! Aaaand definitely - New boys (pun intended). LOL ♥

Happy 2012 stylish people! xxx

"You are in a box filled with letters. You are in a ring I no longer wear."

Christmas baking! :)

2012-01-01T16:28:00.000+09:00

Baked some goodies! Including chocolate chip cookies - using crumpy spread. x

My brother being so eager to help out.

My own version of calzones! :) This one is really yummy...

Hope everyone had a good Christmas eve with your family! :)

I cannot wait for you. Anymore.

2011-12-24T14:36:00.002+09:00

Every time I close my eyes to go to sleep I pick out my favourite memory of us. Of you.

The way we used to talk and laugh.

Our crazy night in Greenhills after we went for karaoke.

The parking lot.

When I said I wanna learn how to drive. You let me sat on your lap while you were driving.
It was fun, loud and crazy.

Sometimes it's when you surprised me with flowers during my brother's birthday.
I couldn't stop smiling the whole night.

Or the way you wrapped your arms around me, giving me the chills and the idea that I am safe around you.

Sometimes its when you showed me the house you've been planning to buy.
The plans you've been making for us.
Places we said we will go.

Or simple joy such as our long drive together.
Night spent together.

The ring.

The love that seems so endless and forever.
You were my first true love and it hurts seeing us like this.

I love you and I love your whole being.
I know your scent. I know your moods.
As crazy as it seems, I believe I was bound to be yours forever.

You know the music to my soul.
and you can make me happy without even trying to.

I've seen the worst in you but still tried to embrace everything with so much understanding.

I have loved you even at your worst. You can agree to that.
Your moodiness drives me crazy but still I stayed.

Even during the night you pulled me and pushed me around.

The night you grabbed my hand and slapped me infront of everybody else.

The way you used to shout at me and throw painful words.
Words that can't be unsaid anymore.

All of them are a part of you. and so I have loved them.
If not, I have embraced them with so much understanding.
and hope, you'll change.

But still.... you left.

You left me in the cold.
You left me during the time when I needed you most.

You left with no goodbye. No single word.
No anything. You just left.

You take everything with you.
My heart, my mind, my being, my soul.
My reason for living. You took it all away.

Now everyone will think of me as a boring person,
because I have given you everything that I am all out.

I was so young. And inlove.
I thought you'd take care of me.
I should have never depend on you.
or I should have never believed in you.

Our love were like the titanic. We graced through the water,
and we didn't see the iceberg coming, we felt it hit. We sank, so quick.
I was hoping we could be in this together.
Like how jack held rose.

But you saved yourself, and made it safe back to the shore.

You left me... in the cold.

One minute we were in love the next thing I saw,
you were happy with someone else.

Probably inlove with her.
Giving her everything I wished you'd give.
Giving her love, I thought I deserved more.
You have given her everything that I think you're not the same man anymore.

You look different.
Things are different.
I don't miss you now, I miss you then.
I miss the man I thought you were.
I don't think I can recognize you anymore.
All that is left of you are traces of her, kisses of her.
Her scent. Everything is about her now.
You're not the man I used to love.

And yet here I am..
I'm still the same girl you left two Christmas ago.
Still hoping and wishing there's still a chance for us.

Still secretly loving you and saving that empty spot ever since you left.

I thought I would be ok in a few months time.
But I ain't still back, it felt like a never ending pain.

I kept on saying "Just hold on. It will be okay."
but It just doesn’t feel like that right now.

And now a little more than a Year have passed.
and Im still on the same ground.

Right on the place and time where you left me.

I still wonder every night,
if you could ever stop dead in your tracks and just run back to me?

If you still miss me the way I'm missing you right now?
All these questions are bugging me and I just wish it would stop.
But it didn't. It's still here with me. Haunting me.

I honestly thought a year would be more than enough to… I don't know.
I don't even know what.

To move on maybe,
To stop hurting.... to stop crying, to stop loving.

Perhaps even to forgive and forget?

But I wouldn't lie that I am having a hard time. I still haven't.
Who am I kidding? you still have the biggest part of me.

and yes, I haven't stopped crying or hurting. I haven't even really moved on.

And I have definitely not forgotten.

Forgotten about you, about us.

I have trapped myself long enough to the love you no longer wanted.
Believe in the lies I made in my head. Drown in my own hope.
Made myself comfortable with my own discomfort.
I can't think of you without even crying.

I have denied happiness cause I only needed you.

But now looking back in those two years were together.
All I see are empty spaces. Silent words in a room full of doubt and regrets.
The what if's and what could have been.
The love we could have had. The disappointments.

Somehow, it helped me realize there's not much left for us.
There's no more US. There's just you and me.

Actually there's just me.

While there's You and her.

I'm still alone. Still afraid and lost.

I don't even know what to say anymore,

I guess.. It's just that.

These tears are not falling because it's time to say goodbye.

These tears are no longer yours. These are for me now.
I am crying while writing this simply because I know..

I know that this is it.
Finally. I am going to be happy and this time this will all be about me. Just me.
I won't be spending another night crying myself to sleep.
This will be my year.

and I've seen it all now.

You're not the same man anymore.

and so...

I cannot wait for you.
I know you won't be back anymore.
You have found your own life and made it just fine.

While I? I will try to find mine this time.
I am 21. I don't wanna missed out on life and regret.

There's more to life than loving someone who doesn't want my love anymore.
Someone who have moved on long time ago.
Someone who just left.

One day. I will find someone like you.
Even better, If not. I'll settle for the second best.

Until then,
I need to stop being so damn emotional about everything.
and just move the fuck on.

P.S
This is something I have to do for myself.
Cheers to the New Year! :)
Things will be a lot different now.
This is my year! x

Less blogging, More living :)

2011-12-21T18:25:00.002+09:00

I love whats happening in my life right now, met new friends and been into many new places. My life has been simple and less complicated, and I must admit. I love it now.

I am inlove with everything and I love every bit of possibilities in it,
I'm taking it real slow and enjoying every bit of it.

I may not know where I'm going, but the only thing I know is I am having a hell lot of fun getting there.

I am always one step closer. :)

and Life will only get better and better.

@ The Sonia's Garden.

@Nuvali Solenad

feeding these wild fishes! :D

P.S

I have news for you,

I am not the same girl anymore.

x

Lez talk about business! :)

2011-12-21T17:57:00.000+09:00

This holiday season everyone of us are looking for something to buy or atleast looking for something to sell, small business or big businesses - we all need to be known this Christmas cause buyers are getting cray-cray looking for something to give this Christmas. and let's admit it, going to malls are are quite miserable spot to buy something nice this Holiday season cause it'll be wild out there, people are gunna be everywhere. So the most easiest way to shop is through online. But then having an online business can also be quite possible and hard to reach nowadays because of thousands online business competitors all around the net.

so if you're looking for quite an opportunity to be known and be above other competitors, Just visit this site - Jasminedirectory.com and get listed!

it is 100% SEO FRIENDLY WEB DIRECTORY
meaning that All links are direct. All relevant description and images, will be included and unique. You can also submit extra 5 deep links that has the most accessed pages of your website and add some details such as company address, phone where they can reach you and other necessary stuff.

This is not just about business though, you can also submit your own website/blog and be known about your works, writings, share stories and pictures and get thousand of followers because of the privilege of being listed in this Jasminedirectory. This is like a one-stop shop where you can find anything and everything here.

Like this:

Submitting your website to jasmine business web directory is also a very powerful way of getting hits - and you can also be updated for new information about your new readers and let them get hooked reading and visiting your website! :)

So what are you guys waiting for? just visit the site now and let your hits keep rolling and be recognized! x

HUWACHU DO DER? :))

2011-12-08T11:08:00.004+09:00

Life has been better. I must say.

I've been into a lot of writing/s lately. which is pretty obvious why I haven't updated my blog recently. I just did my 7 pages short story which I passed just now. and here I am in the library trying to finish this 100 pages story for our finals in Script writing class. and so far it's been good. I've let some of my friends read it and they told me that I should write a book, I've been told a lot of times about this but I don't know, I haven't seen myself as an author. But I would like to try someday. If God permits why not. :)

BLOODY RE-CAP.

pumped up kicks on repeat
packo's opening and he's the new celebrity chef tristan ♥
Picture picture... *smile* ohh hug! *hugs*

a lot of people in the restobar
celebrities.
and food. Im hungry!
Im glancing at him in the room
he's glancing at me too
kilig to the bones! :')
all you made me do is drawing hearts around your name.
stop being so cute! its impossible to ignore you.
The ex just YM me saying "whats up?"
I knew life had moved on since
PALAWAN this december
bloody hell I need to get back in shape!
Phanie (my ex's lil sister) will be here in Christmas time.
excited and wanted to see her
Greenhills later
Troy just turned 11. He's a big boy now.
okay how can I say I like you when you can't even move on to that ex of yours.
she looks like a man. I kid you not.
REALLY? that is your 22nd bday? haha Oh girl.
Happylemon lately. Ugh! dunno if I like it.

I love the rock salt cheese though.
Immortals soon.
we've been playing tetris all night
can't you like ask me out?
okay I have colds
and hungry again.
kthanksbye

Today, as I was walking along the street. I started to realize a few things about my life so far. I don't really mind being alone. My friends are enough for me to have fun and I am starting to feel like it. I love being single. I maybe go out a lot with guys but I can't see myself being in a relationship anymore. It scares me. But I feel safer this way. I am inlove with everything though and I just wanna enjoy being like this. I need company once in awhile but when Im on my own. I'm better. I may not know where I stand now but who cares? Life has been better this way.

P.S
My new black bunny case for my BB :)

Once you go black, you can never go back. x

It's the most beautiful time of the year! :)

2011-12-01T11:11:00.003+09:00

HELLO DECEMBER! PLEASE BE GOOD TO ME x

Finally, my favorite time of the year has arrived.. december :)
which means Christmas is just around the corner. Next thing we know, it's slapping us in the face.lol

I love December and I have a lot of things to be thankful for.. my family and my friends.

I'm maybe alone and single this christmas but I know, I'm not lonesome. and I'm thankful for that :)

Strawberry-mango Margarita! :)

My chinese guy friend and I went out for a date yesterday. A friendly one. It was fun and he's always fun to be with. All the freaking time. We hit the A town for lunch at Amici.

Were supposed to watch the Immortals cause we thought it was already shown in the cinemas. But bad luck, heck not. So we just took some lunch there and went to eastwood and drink. I went margarita madness last night at AGAVE. I loooove the flavours! I first ordered the Tequilla rose and then ordered the strawberry-mango and I thought hey I think I wanna get drunk. and so I said I'll make it bottomless. haha

tequilla rose, it has a mix of Ice cream, milk, tequilla and strawberries! :) yum.

I only had 5 drinks I think. Yeah and then we went home. It was a traitor drink I must say.

and so we went home and I slept immediately. I forgot to drink water so now I have a terrible headache and ugly ugly stomach. Ugh! I should never get drunk again.. (for the 999999999x) I've said this lines so many times. whatever. Atleast not until saturday again.lol

P.S
My new favorite btw. Starbucks' belgian waffle! :)

P.S
Please follow my beautiful sister -- http://tish-d.blogspot.com

A quick post.

2011-11-26T15:43:00.002+09:00

I'll just make this blog really quick and just update with whats going on with my life right now.

Just a few ones.

Well, first of all I've been busy with school. and going out with my friends. mostly with pauline. I just joined the news paper club earlier and was ecstatic to start my article. It'll be such an amazing time for me to finally write. Well I've been writing for school since. even in my previous one. But this one I figured out it would be so much challenging and more fun than my last. So yeah. can't wait! yay.

and also, I've been into cooking again. Been doing great foods lately. mostly sweets. and the only reason why I need this to be real quick is because Im doing my very own Banapple crumble pie. Yesterday I did yogurt Ice cream and donuts. and I don't know.. I just love doing girly things. Which according to a friend of mine, makes me a definite girlfriend material. Because I love cooking, I bake, I paint, I can sing, dance, act and so much into writing and reading books. So basically I'm a boring girlfriend. (according to him) You know the kinda girl you don't wanna settle with not until you're sure enough to get married and just be a family man. And so that made me Single. and will definitely make me single for a long time. So I realized, oh well. After all, being such a perfect girly shit doesn't make you any cooler huh. Sucks for me.

But I don't agree on him that much, I know myself. I am nowhere near a perfect girlfriend material. I suck at relationship. I should have been a guy. lol

Which speaking of, this guy that I really like. I'm kind of getting it. He's just not that into me, or worse, he could be a gay! a pretty fucking gay. Oh pls don't be gay. lol Just don't be into me. I would totally get it! he probably couldn't handle such an amazing girl like me and just basically can't stand the attention Im getting from boys. I get it okay? It's totally fine. lol

Srsly though, I like him.. Well yeah, I like him and he probably knows that I like him that's why he's giving me the chase. But no sweetheart, It's not happening. I love the chase, and I can't like someone without having to work for it. But the thing is, I don't do the chasing. so if you're too busy to give a fuck about me, well guess what? I have better things to do. So NO. I'm not giving two fucks about you anymore. Like me or not. I still like you. haha DAMN, this guy really got me.

anyways.. the food. Yeah one of my new fave spot in trinoma!

THE PARVATI - I love the concept of this parvati they collect all the yummy desserts all around manila and they sell it here. Different desserts under in one roof. How awesome is that??

Tiramizu

Mine :)

Clubhouse

Pauline's chicken pot

The Gelatissimo - Great heavens!! I love every gelato here! and I srsly always almost tasted each and every one of them through free spoons. haha

pauline looking so giddy excited for her mint chocolate and chocolate truffles! :)

This one's mine :) My waffle top with chocolate truffle. ahhhmazing! x

school girls. haha

P.S

JUST HAD TO SHARE THIS.

The greatest creation of a solid perfume by L'OCCITANE! P495 :)

I smell like a really sweet cherry blossoms now x

PPS.
- Time to make my Banapple crumble pie. :))
cheerios!

Holidays best finds! :)

2011-11-23T22:14:00.002+09:00

Holidays are coming. And I know we are all going gaga looking for gifts this Christmas! Wouldn't it be nice if the best finds this holidays are already been picked out just for you to really find the best? yup yup.. Ethical Ocean is an online store that comes with the most affordable, unique and Eco friendly gifts this Green Holiday season. Yes you heard that right, you can be a super mega hero this Chrisnice just by picking gifts from Ethical Ocean which our lovely mother earth can definitely benefit from :)

They have this easy 5 categories of gifts to choose from such as Gifts under $25, gifts under $50, Gifts under $100, Gifts for kids and a whole lotta more! It comes with a free shipping too if you buy atleast $75+.

Here are some of my personal favorites that I definitely want this Christmas!!

Reusable Mustache Coffee cup. ($18.67)

We all need this, admit it.

We need it for school, for a long day in the office, for travelling or for whatever it may be. We need reusable cups incase there is none. The coolest thing about this is it's a microwave safe. So it's perfect for hot and cold drinks.

Eco fact - Did you know that if you use reusable cups instead of plastic cups or paper cups, you can save atleast 7 trees everyday. That could be a lot of help!

Fusion Messenger Bag ($100)

This one! I haven't found anything like this before. It's truly genius! I can't even..

It provides a convenient and personal source of solar power to charge your mobile devices which could be very convenient and helpful to each and one of us. You can just leave everything under the sun now and let Mr. sunny do all the work for you. Awesome right?

Professional Art Pencil Set ($12.99)

I need this in my life right now for my sketches. I haven't been into sketches this past few days nor into paintings and this made me think of getting into one this week.

It's a high quality professional art pencils that its barrel is made from 100% newspaper. Coolio..

So these are just a samples of things that you can find when you visit this very one of a kind online store (Ethical Ocean) that promotes love for the earth. Think about it, give a little help by buying these products. :)

I keep thinking you already know (I keep thinking I've sent you letters that were only ever written in my mind.)

2011-11-23T01:21:00.004+09:00

Here I am trying to type some words, typing and typing.. and just typing randomly.

I can only hear silence.. the sound of my typing and dry coughing.
I can hear some words but these are all in my head.

I hit backspace a couple of times.. I hit it again just now.
I don't know why I find it so hard to write about you. Perhaps when one has not written something meaningful in a while, it is indeed hard to write at all.

and Yes, here I am now. Trying to put everything into words. But I can never seem to understand how to start this blog. I keep ranting in my head. As the thoughts of you flows like raging waters. It's captivating. Got me out of breath. I'm almost drowning but you're my reason to survive.

These words I've been wanting to say but I just couldn't. I couldn't remember the exact moment when I went from liking you, to this stage. There was just this energy running through my whole body that just made me like you, crave for you, want you, all of you. It's confusing. I'd probably never find enough courage to tell you how much I've been different after that date with you. I am so intoxicated by you. I am so thrilled and excited that it driven me into the madness. This is madness. I am hunger for you. and I might never be over this, over you, over the thought of us. This could be it.

I am right on the stage where I fear of losing this game, but more of myself.

It's like a battlefield between my head and my heart. Wanting to tell you how badly I needed you, how I am bound to yours forever, its like I needed you to know how we could compliment each other. How your eyes brightens up my eyes everytime our eyes met, and how the way you looked at me that night - I knew you could be the one for me. You're too beautiful and yet too perfectly unperfect for me. I feel everything. It's too strong. and yet I'm too scared to let it out. I'm afraid of falling and rejection. You may seem not to care at all for you were too busy and clouded with so many things, have to be in so many places, surrounded with too many different faces of girls. You'd probably never even notice how I've been finding my way into you, In hopes we'd be in this together. Crossing my fingers that you feel it too. The rush, the excitement, that again - this must be it. I feel it in my chest. My heart is beating once again. Same old heart but with a new heart beat, with a new music. It's a strong beat. A new one. It's loud and it's clear. I can't keep up for it's a fast music. My heart beats for you and I love it's beating. I may not know what sound is this, but atleast it's moving me. I'm trying.

I know my words will likely to fall on deaf ears, but if it’s the choice between wishing on a star and doing nothing, I'd rather take my chance on wishing. If there's just one saving grace after this strong breeze of attraction clears. I may be able to say that finally, I've learned how to let someone get at me. I have felt that again. The so called love that gives every cliché to this blog. Atleast, I know, I haven't lost that hope yet. I am not lost anymore though. I know where I'm going, I'm just not sure which road to take. But I know everything will be just fine if you would only choose to hold my hand and we'll walk our way out into the better days. To fall into the chances of love. Play a little on our fate. This won't be any easy for me, but I am not afraid to lead with my heart and find its way to you. To let myself be vulnerable. To maybe get hurt once again... Be shattered and pointless. True love deserves that after all.

This is a risk I want to take. And I wanna take it with you.

I just wish you'd want to take it with me too.

- ME x

a THREESOME date! ♥

2011-11-20T16:46:00.004+09:00

A thursday morning with my friends @Greenbelt :)

We had a lunch date at Marciano's in Greenbelt 3. The food was okay and a bit expensive. Didn't like the food much though cause it was kind of boring for me and a little too salty, but I love the ambiance.

I actually really think that it's for the lovers. It has a nice and sweet feeling inside.

THE FOOD

This lasagna I like this, love the beefy inside.

The meaty lovers pizza

and ofcourse the ferrero chocolate cake for dessert :)

me and plini :)

My two date - kelvin and Pauline! x

and then we went frolicking around Greenbelt, and took some random pictures.

and then later that day we decided to have dinner @Megamall :)

YABU - the first ever yabu here in the Philippines. Im not even kidding, the food here is divine! Very affordable and yet really yummy.. will definitely visit here again soon.

THE YUMMY FOODIES!
But first, you have to wipe your hands using this cold wet towelletes.lol

The ambiance

REALIZATIONS.
I've been going out a lot lately with my friends, mostly with pauline. and when I say a lot, I really mean it. I love going out, trying out new food and stuff. And it seems to me that being alone and single has been giving me a lot of time for myself, to discover what I want and what I really like doing and just basically being my own company. I don't miss being in a relationship, atleast Im getting better and not spending most of my time lying and remembering what could have been, what could I've done wrong that causes all these pain and heartache. Why I am so alone and bitter. Im so done with the "moving-on phase" for the most part of my life. I now accepted that things didn't really work out between two people no matter how badly they loved each other. That no matter how long you have been together, there will come a time that you'll eventually grow apart. The sudden felt for space and the lost of love that the two of you just can't seem to understand how and when it all started. Neither of you saw it coming, it just happened. Its inevitable. A force of complete fate and LIFE as usual. Folding infront of you and yet you can't do anything to stop it. You just sit there and watch everything to fall apart. But then, at the end of the day there's still the hope for that day to come, the day to maybe reconcile, to give it a chance again, to realize how badly you needed each other. or worse none of this was ever realized. So it's just probably right to move-on with your own lives without each other. It seems very painful to hear that you have to live alone now without each other, that very person who gives you the reason for existence is now.. gone.

But what we never realize is what a privilege it is to be given a chance to live, to start again from scratch, to make yourself look better, to make you feel definitely good about yourself, to love yourself without depending on someone's love. It's priceless. It's a new start. it's fresh and new, it's a chance for you to get everything straight. And it's awesome. Being too independent can make you feel stronger and dominant. Finally, I've found a balance life. I don't need anyone at the moment. Although I've been dating a lot lately, but the more I meet boys the more I would realize how I want to be single. How I want my own space and time. I can't see myself with someone anymore. Although, there's this guy that I really like. I really really do. But it seems to me that he's not ready for a relationship too, or maybe he doesn't see me as a girlfriend material. But whatever it may be, were not talking anymore now. I just decided to stay away from him. And it kills me everytime I see him online and I just can't seem to make myself start the conversation. I like him so much that it scares me. Because Im coward. I don't wanna be inlove. Not just yet, but he's perfect for me. I like him. I really really do that it hurts everytime, I just wish he knew.

But the thing is, I know myself more now. Im not ready. and I don't wanna make that move only to get hurt in the end. Im too tired of it. Done with the boys for the most part. It's so strange though knowing I have lived my life this far wherein I won't be needing anyone anymore for a long time, probably will be for the longest time. But don't get me wrong, I love dating. I love boys, I think they're cute and sweet and freaking adorable. They treat you food, gives you presents, throw surprises. But the thing is, I don't see them as a potential boyfriend anymore. More of a brother or a friend. I know it's weird and I myself is getting scared of being alone, I might become too comfortable and contented being alone that I fear I might be forever.

But what matters most is that, Im happy. and I wanna take this time to enjoy what I love doing, to make plans on my own, eat alone, go out with friends without having to worry about anything. and I probably want to stay like this for a long while. I love it here and I know Im safer this way.

xxx

Food lately... according to my blackberry :)

2011-11-16T23:30:00.002+09:00

jwent out with my friend last night and ate at CYMA restaurant for dinner. and all I can say is WOW. I've been here twice before and they never fail to amaze me. I love it here and the food is super comforting.

we had this pita with blue cheese for appetizer and I love it. Love the blue cheese. can't get enough of them. :)

The lamb Gyro. I love the chicken more though.. but nonetheless its yummy!

Chicken souvlaki - its like a kebab on stick and you'll roll it in pita and eat it.

such an interesting food. :)

And just last 2 weeks ago I think, we tried eating here @Mango Tree Bistro. It has a nice cozy ambiance that you could really relax while eating. Kind of pricey but it's heaven and its super sulit or getting more than what you pay for :) lol

The most delicious bagoong rice I've ever tasted in my whole entire life! Im not even kidding. Im hands down to this one.

The chicken curry with green leaves. Not so fan. Maybe because the coconut taste was too strong that its over powering the entire food.

Pink Salmon salad. I love this one!

and my super favorite!!!!! this chicken is the best.. I tell ya :)

So thats it for now. Im thinking of changing my blog into food blog now. haha cause it seems like I've been blogging about foodies lately. But whatever. I just really love food. Tom I'll be in GREENBELT with friends and then shangrila and megamall, and guess what? there'll be a lot of eating again. haha

OH YEAH, the french macaroons. so it'll be complete! x

P.S
I kinda need some change.. I badly want to dye my hair like this..

its a strawberry blonde. But since I study in a very religious school, (St. Paul University QC) were not really allowed to dye our hair, so I kinda need to wait until summer. Summer is too long.

SUCKS for me I know..

and ofcourse the hair of Miley too. I've been wanting to have curly hair like hers.. so gorgeous right?
I need longer hair though :) We'll see. But I'd definitely dye my hair no matter what.

Gays are beautiful people :)

2011-11-15T11:06:00.001+09:00

Gay.

Whenever you hear this word what comes into your mind? are you one of those who spend mostly their time being such a racist? making fun of the gays and what not? or are you one of them? but afraid of getting out of the closet and so you just keep quiet. Been kept quiet the whole time? when will you come out?

I myself has been a self confessed lesbian when I was a kiddo. But that was just a phase for me I guess. Confused whether to go straight or gay. Cause I've been crushing a lot of girls back then and whenever I see photos of myself when I was a kid and posing like a man. I'll just laugh it off now. Cause now that I'm all grown up and looking so beautiful (a joke) I just practically become straight. But ofcourse, I still get a girl crush once in awhile, and would always want to sleep with Megan Fox. but that's a different story. :))

anyway... as I was saying. I love gay people and though I am not one of them, I am certainly sure that I was a drag queen in my past life.Srsly. I love my gay friends. I've been friends with all of them... lesbians, bisexual or whatever you may call them. I have a lot of them that I loved dearly. Those are my loyal friends. They are making me laugh with their fantastique smart and out of the box humor.and whenever I need advice their the best one to run too. That's why I get so giddy and ecxcited and overly happy when I found out about this site. They clearly tells different stories. It's an open blog and they blog about gay people.

I've never seen such a great gay blog like this before who really inspires gay people to come out of the closet and say whole heartedly and proud that its fine to be gay! That really, it's totally fine. One of the most successful people here on earth are gays. and they are such incredible genius people that we all know this world couldn't be this better place without them. So be proud that you enjoy being alive and gay! It's about time to come out :)

I tell you, this site is the best place for you to be heard, to be proud of all your achievements, your goals, your beautiful coming out stories. Get inspired with all the stories written here. and find out a lot of things about gay people, their life, heartaches, trials, everything is written just for this blog. So visit here and be heard. - en.darkq.net

love, me x

Tinamaan ako :)

2011-11-14T13:47:00.000+09:00

I just had to share this real quick.. this is what Im feeling right now! It's corny and cheesy but this is how/what I feel right now. I actually let my crush listen to this song, I send him the link and he liked it. And Im super kilig cause were chatting now and he said if I wanna hang-out. hihihi :')

Anne Curtis – Tinamaan Ako Lyrics

Nang kita ay makilala
Napatulo ang laway ko
Binti ko ay nangatog
Ako’y sumemplang at nauntog
Ewan ko, ano bang meron ka’t
Kikay na to’y napaamin mo

Nabihag mo ang puso kong pihikan
Agan na in-love sayo
Ikaw ba ay ‘sang droga at naaadik ako
Isang kindat mo lang, mapapa tumbling na ako

Tinamaan na ako
Walanghiya ka, kupido
Nasirang schedule ko, putres na
Kabaliwang ito

Lumalaki na’ng eyebags ko
‘di makatulog dahil sa ‘yo
Nagmumukhang zombie na ako
‘di mapakali, ano ba ‘to

Sana lang mapapansin mo rin
Ang kagandahang kong ito
Hirap na kasi ang lola mo
Nabaliw na ata sa kapapantasya sa ‘yo

Daig mo pa si batman, napatumba ako
Isang sulyap mo lang, natotorete na
Ang utak ko

Tinamaan na ako
Walanghiya ka, kupido
Nasirang schedule ko, putres na
Kabaliwang ito

Tinamaan na ako
Walanghiya ka, kupido
Nasirang schedule ko, putres na
Kabaliwan
Tinamaan ako (my papa)
Pansinin mo ako (oh, sana)
Oras ko’y iyong-iyo (kaloka)
Sabihin mo lang sa akin na mahal mo ako,
Ililibre ko ang tropa mo

Tinamaan na ako
Walanghiya ka, kupido
Nasirang schedule ko, putres na
Kabaliwang ito

Tinamaan mo ako
Hiling ko, Mr. Kupido
Panain mo rin sya
Nang pagnasaan niya rin ako

(lalala, lalala)
Hiling ko, Mr. Kupido
(lalala, lalala)
(lalala, lalala)

Hiling ko Mr. Kupido
(lalalaa)

* Anne Curtis - Tinamaan Ako Lyrics property of their owners

P.S
I feel so highschool now. Getting kilig with my crush. haha
But it's such a nice and kinda felt new to me ♥

Cerealicious on a saturday morning :)

2011-11-13T00:00:00.002+09:00

We have decided to take a lunch in Katipunan. and This is how it all started.

Me and my friend pauline went to Cerealicious earlier cause we just grew tired of all the foodies near our school so we went somewhere further. Which is 3 train stations away from our school I think. lol Were supposed to go to makati though but we thought we have a recording thing to do so we need to get back in school @ exactly 2pm.. so yeah..

Cerealicious! Never thought they offer such great food in a very cheap price! :)

I had this really good spaghetti meatballs :) I love pesto but its not available so I said okay, I'll take it. Not bad though.

My new favorite!! I ordered the best seller and they call it "Charlie and the chocolate factory". It has banana, milo cereal, and chocnut. Its really yummy!

Yummy goodness!

It comes with many delicious falavahhhhh!!!

Pauline had this Carbonara, it looks boring but its yummy.. and I don't really know why she likes white sauce instead of red. Oh welps. anyway..

ofcourse, US. Me and plini :)

just ME. Being obviously vain and such a guilty cam whore.

P.S
us @the school radio/recording room. Just being silly and just being complete retard. haha
just for fun so don't hate. we did those obnoxious steps purposely.
We look like a wet noodle though. hahaha :))

As much as we want to be Lady gaga and Beyonce..
It feels like we just mocked Barney and Friends with this dance. FAIL :)))

Plini and tinnie :)

2011-11-10T11:49:00.004+09:00

Date with my best girlfriend pauline. Just hit the mall and had a lot of fun. lol

we ate at Dulcinea, I don't know if I like the lasagna though.

me being super vain, never thought I have a lot of yellow stuff. haha

forever21

We got addicted to this! hahaha

A complicated thing.

I just gotta share this,

This crush.... of mine.

Such a lame start I know, cause here I am, a 21 yr old girl talking about her crush.
Now, that just sound so highschool I know.. But whatever. Im at the school library trying to concentrate on the things I should have done or I should do, or should I? really. I don't know... its hard.

This guy.. I've known him for quite sometime now 4 years maybe? we were just text mates at that time. We'll not really text mates, but we've known each other through texts by common friends. If you know what I mean. We barely talk, we just used to say hi and hellos whenever one of us are online. I mean, we have planned for meet-ups before ofcourse but it never happened. Probably because there's no chance. I was dating someone at that time, so for 2 years I didn't make myself available for meet-ups. He on the other hand, had his on and off girlfriend for 5 years and had girlfriends once in awhile every time they part ways, atleast that's how I see it. So basically, maybe a part of me never really liked him. I think he's cute and all that, goes to an Int'l school somewhere in taguig. Owns suv cars. Handles family business since he was young. He's not that tall though. But he's fine. I like his eyes. But we never really get to know each other.. we were just, that. Nothing. Just someone to each other, not even someone maybe.

Until..... just last month we decided to meet up. Ha! Finally. But he invited me a lot of times before that, but I would always say NO or maybe next time. But something came up and I said why not. So there you go. We went out. got a burger, went to eastwood and ate donuts and stuff. He would hold my hand while driving, walking.. but I would always take it off, because I don't know. I always had this awkwardness with guys, I don't feel comfortable. So yeah, it was a simple date, deep inside of me I thought maybe we're not really meant to be lovers. I mean all the while I was thinking how I don't see myself with this guy. It feels weird, we don't have anything in common, he smokes.. which is ridiculous! (I hate smokers btw) I told him he should stop but he said he's not really into smoking he just smokes once in awhile. but still.. he's a smoker, and that would be like kissing an ashtray for me. So NO. But the date went on smoothly, until we were talking while he was driving and I asked him something about how he would surprise a girl, if he likes surprises.. or how he would do it.. surprises you know.. because I like it with boys. But then, he told me why should I tell you? maybe it's gunna be you... then UNINTENTIONALLY, I must've said something bad like "just maybe, you never know", and he must have taken it the wrong way... then he said. It's like I'm pushing him away for the whole day and he said that if I don't like him that would be fine and yada yada.. I kept on explaining how I didn't mean it that way, but but.. sighhh* so he just kept quiet. and that was it. He drove me home and we said our goodbyes and he kissed me on the cheeks.. and to the final bomb I jokingly said, why do you have to kiss me with lips? I was expecting a cheek to cheek kiss then I laugh but he got offended, I saw it in his face. and I was mortified myself!! why do I have to be so complicated?? maybe because I have this fear about boys.. afraid of getting hurt and whatnot. So I think it was really my fault. We were the same after that date though, he would text me and stuff but he never really ask me out again after that, until just last tuesday but I cancelled it again cause of my sch sched and now he's leaving somewhere in province with friends and I was left here thinking... I really like this guy. It was me who pushed him away, pushing people away from my life. Because of this fear of getting hurt. Of committing into something that will never work out anyway.

See, Im this negative bitch. What should I do now? I don't even know if he knows that I like him, I don't think he got the idea though. Cause I was never showing him. Though I really want him to know that I do - without even saying it. Cause I don't wanna sound so desperately needy and clingy... and like an aggressive needy. y'know. Eww, no plan of doing that to anyone. except Ryan Gosling maybe, but thats another story.lol

ugh!! I don't like it. And Im scared that my flirting skills maybe a little off at the moment. since I've been single for quite sometime now. I might mislead him or something and would turn out to be a total lame ass trying to get his attention. But srsly, he's driving me like cray-cray. and I hate this feeling!! It's really complicated.. and probably turning into a more complicated thing called, love? NO. Im not inlove. I just like him.. thats it.

I like him and I've never liked anyone like this for a long time now.
and It's hard. and its scary... I hate to feel this way.

So what should I do? I need some advice :(

PUNTA FUEGO :)

2011-11-06T19:23:00.002+09:00

"Spinning in the ocean. Slowly. You learn to breathe all over again."

I miss being in the beach.. I have been into the beach quite a few times this year. I love the ocean. There's nothing that can separate me from playing on the tips of the ocean. The sand on my feet. The sound of waves that sets me free. My obsession about missing the waves has gotten into me recently. I just downloaded my ocean waves alarm tone. So everyday I would wake up with the sound of waves. and yes, it feels awesome :)

edric, me and jess

Me and pauline

I miss playing with my friends in the pool

and ofcourse, the smores night.

The greatest thing about Punta Fuego is probably the great view and weather. :) This helps me a lot whenever I wanna escape from this mad world were living. I would probably buy a house near the beach someday. I'll ask my future husband to do it for me. lol

P.S

But what I have probably miss the most are my friends..

Its sad that were drifting apart. There has been some misunderstanding within the group. and its almost pulling us apart. Its true what they say though.. A friendship break-up is much worse than anything.. I love my friends. and I hope things will get better soon. x