tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210Sat, 02 Jun 2012 11:26:44 +0000freaky biologythingieswherein I make you feel really uncomfortableJon Armstrongmate for lifewater birthfunnyIt Sucked and Then I Criedfunny because I said socomedybookszombiesbabies make me do thingspetiteAmos and his crazy waysfairytale of new yorkImaginary Shrinkybaby sign languagebaby clotheshairjihadpygmybacteriaSarcastic MomTom CruisetravelH. G. WellspimpleInvescopity partysometimes people shouldn't go out in public when I'm cranky and watching themHalloweenKnocked Upfamilybullet items of randomnessbrachycephalysix monthsDenverthis is fun whether you like or notFort Collinsneighborsflash cardsbirth storythat stuff I dopicssomeone should strap me to a gurney and lock me away for thoughts like thisshrink the fattybrainsI hate shopping with venomous hatepregnant and gloriouskeep your hands off of my politicsfat suitain't no book learnin'pregnantDNAhormonalblurbomatantibioticI ams the cookBlog365Nebraskablog gatheringGeorgetowngang signsdepressionchillaxbias-motivated assaulthate crimeAmerican IdolmilkBenny LavainterviewPhilOsophyChristmas partybabyScientologySlackity McSlackertonweird foreignersparanormalcandyridiculousMike Doughtyred foxmolecular biologyWalking WingsVenn Diagrambaby laughslove me so hardBin Ladenno more fattiesmilestoneEric Claptonlistfirst christmasManimalMile High MamasairplaneBlogHerDNCNaBloPoMowaterbirthThanksgivingnatural birthSteamboat SpringsLotusevolutionreturn of the binkygrammarsleepstinkpunctuationpictureher bad motherhelmetexaminer.comMama Blogger of the Monthgetting oldRock of LoveBreckenridgehigh schoolplagiocephalyNorma FarrisObamathe sexy talkChinese medicinethings we do when no one is watchingwar is overObama speechChaChaquiz mayhemturbo loverBell's PalsyFacebookIMAmosmidwifememeLast Comic Standingfear and loathing in Denvergoogle analyticsSarahcar seatMarmotjeansJibJabboobsTejanoactual conversationsPhotoHuntvlogfictional characterPhilmaking the babies and the donutsColoradoparentingghostblogdelurk - I command theemost inappropriatecrittersmoving house is the pitsTexasworld seriestagsThursday Thirteengood things for the rest of usbreastfeedingnot so smartpalm readerlong hairfoodUllrgiveawayKid Art AuctionutterztwitterHeather ArmstrongPennsylvaniaTattered Covertravel to unknown partsgoogle searchDoocedyepumpkinAmandamonthly100 thingsladies' night outhealthBob DylanDenver Highlandssuck on thishttp://www.imaginarybinky.com/noreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)Blogger276125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-4689242038976704428Wed, 15 Dec 2010 18:32:00 +00002010-12-15T13:32:57.089-05:00funny because I said sothis is fun whether you like or notmost inappropriateChristmas partyridiculousPhilwherein I make you feel really uncomfortablethings we do when no one is watchingSo, despite my lack of bloggity blog these many months, I decided to contribute a lil sumthin' sumthin' to a holiday concert extravaganza called  The Fifth Annual Blogger Christmalhijrahanukwanzakah Online Holiday Concert  You'll find my contribution somewhere down yonder the page.  I make no claims toward it being good, healthy, talented, or even watchable.  Beware of that before you take a http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/SKWOx__M-UM/our-kind-of-christmas.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)6http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2010/12/our-kind-of-christmas.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-448936399056314257Sun, 12 Dec 2010 23:29:00 +00002010-12-12T18:30:43.442-05:00this is fun whether you like or notJust a warning that something wacky this way comes in about, oh, three days or so, as the crow flies. In the meantime I raise my holiday drink to you, which I call Drank, which consists of vodka and some sort of Bailey's mint chocolate something-or-another.   Hint:  It kinda involves this or maybe not: Clickety clickhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/XJfhMW5V-2A/anything-for-laughs.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)0http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2010/12/anything-for-laughs.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-2894751016947689352Wed, 03 Nov 2010 20:05:00 +00002010-11-03T16:06:17.665-04:00ain't no book learnin'this is fun whether you like or notNaBloPoMoPennsylvaniaAmos and his crazy waysbabies make me do thingsAfter Arlo was born, it became apparent that jealousy had reared its ugly head in our house in the form of a three year old boy.  Poor Amos, no matter how much we had prepared him, just didn't know how to adjust to the sleep disturbances, round-the-clock baby matters, and loss of attention from Mommy and somewhat from Daddy.  On top of that, the Binky Fairy made a visit to our home to take all ofhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/3pdXFYgCEHs/burying-binky-with-green-thumb.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)4http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2010/11/burying-binky-with-green-thumb.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-6813044612241057037Tue, 02 Nov 2010 22:42:00 +00002010-11-02T18:42:56.749-04:00this is fun whether you like or notbullet items of randomnessNaBloPoMosleepbabies make me do thingsThat should be a superhero name -- Mighty Random.  He commits random acts of kindness or maybe just chooses to lay on the couch.  You never know. I'm feeling sick today, and I almost gave up on writing something for NaBloPoMo.  Ah, but Guilt, she is a savage beast.  Also, Phil took Amos along for a trip to the grocery store, and Arlo is asleep in his swing.  I guess that means I'm free. Here http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/Svboh75yFYk/mighty-random.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)4http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2010/11/mighty-random.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-7819356882995253798Mon, 01 Nov 2010 21:11:00 +00002010-11-01T17:11:46.100-04:00NaBloPoMoactual conversationsIn honor of My Attempt 3.0 of NaBloPoMo, I present a reprise of Actual Conversations.  Yes, I will try (nay, succeed!) at blogging (or blobbing, unedited) once a day for the month of November. These words have been uttered in my home or in my general presence.  All characters are based on real people.  No animals were harmed during the vocalization of these phrases. Phil and Amos playing Wii http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/geC5y51BCHE/actual-conversations-part-5.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)3http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2010/11/actual-conversations-part-5.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-8007721362548061785Fri, 08 Oct 2010 20:53:00 +00002010-10-08T16:53:44.415-04:00this is fun whether you like or notnot so smartAmos and his crazy waysbabies make me do thingsAmos needs more stimulation than just playing the Wii and watching cartoons (I know, right?  How can he possibly want more than that?), so we've bought games and puzzles to jiggle his brain parts.  His newest game is something he likes to call Shoots the Ladders.  What you do is search your neighborhood and find a contractor who is clearing the house gutters, and you aim really tight so that the http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/F_HGX3m3HLk/shoots-ladders.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)4http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2010/10/shoots-ladders.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-7787594502032307069Tue, 28 Sep 2010 16:56:00 +00002010-09-28T14:47:03.244-04:00babies make me do thingsthings we do when no one is watchingAnd blarb blarb blarb.  I had a baby.  I get one hour of sleep between slapping a boob into said baby's mouth.  And how was your day? Anyhoo, sometimes random thoughts enter my delirious head while the above situation is happening.  Also, I really hate that guy in New Jersey for making me regret every time I use the word 'situation.' I just told Phil I have to use the bathroom, to get him to http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/Tlt_WhX5G8k/being-god-not-unlike-being-john.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)4http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2010/09/being-god-not-unlike-being-john.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-1373700025977311914Mon, 12 Jul 2010 19:17:00 +00002010-07-12T15:17:11.756-04:00making the babies and the donutspregnant and gloriousAmos and his crazy wayspregnantbabies make me do thingshormonalThat's what Amos said to me last night, a gleam in his eye, after he had spent some time under the dining room table doing his business.  He isn't fully potty trained yet, and his favorite spot for the big moment is to grunt under the table.  He ran over to me, put his hands purposefully on the side of the couch, and said as if we are playing "Blues Clues", "Do youuuu smell something?" Indeed.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/oCpsFUGgIqU/do-you-smell-something.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)6http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2010/07/do-you-smell-something.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-4355206194974601786Thu, 01 Jul 2010 17:53:00 +00002010-07-02T11:18:43.663-04:00sometimes people shouldn't go out in public when I'm cranky and watching thempregnant and gloriousparentingbabies make me do thingsthings we do when no one is watchinghormonalWARNING: These are the words of a very uncomfortable, very pregnant woman. Do not stand within 15 feet of this creature today. It's not that I want to be cranky, it's just that some things and some people create the crankiness that spews from my innards. For your perusal: It is a gorgeous day outside, after many days of 90+ degree heat and high humidity. I want to open the windows and have http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/vVwyOJ_elFs/reaching-defcon-cranky.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)7http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2010/07/reaching-defcon-cranky.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-990303483876340502Tue, 22 Jun 2010 21:09:00 +00002010-06-22T17:15:45.728-04:00boobsAmos and his crazy waysbabies make me do thingsthings we do when no one is watchingmidwifeMarmotWow.  I'm spectacularly good at ignoring this blog as of late.  Blame it on the preggie hormones, if ya like. What's been going on?  A few exciting things here and there, sprinkled with the mundane and the daily whatnot, followed up by basic gestation. So, randomness, as I tend to be: Amos just celebrated his 3rd birthday, and my hooha winced once again at the memory.  He had a great weekend http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/IJIuC8y98tQ/two-months-later-and-belly-to-show-for.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)5http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2010/06/two-months-later-and-belly-to-show-for.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-862155034804689012Fri, 16 Apr 2010 18:54:00 +00002010-04-16T14:54:42.667-04:00pregnant and gloriouspregnantbabyMarmotSo, it has taken me a few months to be able to write this, this story about my baby and how we thought all was possibly lost.  I think I'm finally in a place to talk about it publicly. Because I'm over 35, I am immediately labeled as "advanced maternal age" by those who choose to use such names.  This means that various tests are more strongly recommended than they were when I was just a lass ofhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/-iqPoUr0jcA/good-and-bad-of-prenatal-testing.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)7http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2010/04/good-and-bad-of-prenatal-testing.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-2792394003823226948Fri, 09 Apr 2010 17:29:00 +00002010-04-09T13:29:16.241-04:00pregnant and gloriousPennsylvaniaAmos and his crazy waysMarmotAbsence makes the heart grow fonder, or so they say.  Pregnancy makes the lady forget that she has a blog, is what I say. So, here is an update from the Binky Estate.  Round Two of child-making is wonderful and all, but slightly less endearing than the wonderment of womenhood that is the first pregnancy.  We've reached almost 24 weeks of baby growing.  My belly seems larger this time.  I don't http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/6XfrEmCnkUw/my-lovely-lady-lumps-and-other.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)4http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2010/04/my-lovely-lady-lumps-and-other.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-2996146199222447883Mon, 08 Feb 2010 19:41:00 +00002010-02-08T19:19:59.581-05:00making the babies and the donutssomeone should strap me to a gurney and lock me away for thoughts like thisbabies make me do thingsMarmotFifteen weeks of development.  Fifteen weeks.  Something to celebrate?  Not this time. For the past week, I've been having the dreaded pregnant headaches.  I had a few when Amos was snugged into my belly, but these are more frequent and achy.  It truly feels like Marmot is stabbing me in the skull.  I imagine a little softball-sized baby standing over me with an icepick, not unlike the gremlin http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/40pzmxpbvkI/when-gremlins-strike.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)12http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2010/02/when-gremlins-strike.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-6892750441185735223Tue, 26 Jan 2010 16:44:00 +00002010-01-26T11:44:18.461-05:00making the babies and the donutsPennsylvaniapregnantThat pretty much sums up what life has been like the past few months. Oh, hi.  Is that you?  Yeah, I know.  It's been awhile.  You look smashing in that frock.  Oh, stop!  No, YOU stop! So, um, yeah.  I moved.  About 1,700 miles, give or take.  There's a lot I can say about traveling this great expanse of country we have, but I'll save those sweet ditties for another post. So, um, yeah.  I http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/8UzDuTq7_GI/epic-journeys-and-breeding.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)11http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2010/01/epic-journeys-and-breeding.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-8447548179074173766Fri, 30 Oct 2009 05:08:00 +00002009-10-30T01:08:36.399-04:00ridiculousthings we do when no one is watching I don't know about you, but I think I already know how to do this exercise. *insert other witty dick jokes here* http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/tsNI1SZiQyo/shake-it-like-polaroid-picture.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)9http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2009/10/shake-it-like-polaroid-picture.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-4311750272277481768Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:33:00 +00002009-10-13T14:40:00.644-04:00someone should strap me to a gurney and lock me away for thoughts like thisPennsylvaniamoving house is the pitsIf you know the song I just bastardized, well, kudos, my friend.  It gets stuck in my head sometimes, much like another bizarre country tune that my childhood pals in East Texas and I would shout out as we were swaying on a tree swing.   I know.  It will haunt you forever.  You're welcome. There's a point I was going to make with this.  Let me remind myself.... Um... Ah.  Okay. So, yes.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/kdxWhrED_nY/eighteen-piles-and-dozen-roses.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)3http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2009/10/eighteen-piles-and-dozen-roses.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-4462432712815048112Fri, 09 Oct 2009 01:11:00 +00002009-10-09T03:35:42.729-04:00sometimes people shouldn't go out in public when I'm cranky and watching themsomeone should strap me to a gurney and lock me away for thoughts like thisPennsylvaniaweird foreignersPennsylvania, to be exact. Yes, dear reader whose face I would try to delicately read with my hands but cannot because I would never let you into my house when you're dressed like a tart and smelling of cheese, I am leaving Colorado and my beloved Denver for the literal greener pastures of southeastern Pennsylvania.Folks who know my exploits on other various things I spout upon are already awarehttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/zVtXWucNh9U/im-movin-on-up-to-east-side.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)16http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2009/10/im-movin-on-up-to-east-side.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-2559130377430153749Thu, 03 Sep 2009 06:05:00 +00002009-09-03T02:05:00.211-04:00I said that to you over and over tonight, as if to jog your memory a little bit more about our past.Sixteen years it's been, between you and me. And here we are, on the precipice of your 40th birthday. I was just 19 when we met, and you were a deliciously pervy 23.I remember it all. I remember meeting you in June of 1993, after many months of very difficult times I had in other various http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/vX4yPzmJ0ug/do-you-remember-me.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)7http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2009/09/do-you-remember-me.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-5815011072674854182Mon, 27 Jul 2009 13:00:00 +00002009-07-27T09:00:04.034-04:00love me so hardreturn of the binkyI love this video better than bread, paper, rock, or scissors. I seriously hope those are the actual sounds of the turtle.I can't even begin to dissect why this is so friggin' hilarious. The look on the lady turtle's face is priceless.You're welcome.(Many thanks to Daily Shite)http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/tD4yfu4cKdI/bang-your-shell.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)3http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2009/07/bang-your-shell.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-4334979316612766289Sun, 26 Jul 2009 20:14:00 +00002009-07-26T16:18:31.692-04:00return of the binkyweird foreignersBut I'm back. Sort of.To celebrate this day of return, let's take a look at dead baby skeletons as they get a milky shower from a cow and then suck directly from its teets. It's French. It's crazy. It's exactly what this blog should be about.Nice to see you, too. Is that a new shirt you're wearing? You look fabulous.http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/o-dX1cOskRg/its-been-long-time-coming.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)5http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2009/07/its-been-long-time-coming.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-5459849151490343906Tue, 19 May 2009 03:59:00 +00002009-05-19T00:12:23.706-04:00someone should strap me to a gurney and lock me away for thoughts like thisI write this post.Hey, there. How's it going? That's great. Wow. Have you lost weight? You look fabulous! Is that a new shirt, I mean, blouse, I mean, garment? It's wonderful and makes you very shapely in the most appealing sort of way.Denver is hot today. And I still mean hot at 10pm. I have fans whirring about like crazy, and the temperature-o-mometer tells me it is 76 in here. What, http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/f2bGYNNMWLs/in-accordance-to-section-10b-of.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)9http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2009/05/in-accordance-to-section-10b-of.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-4193245043453757329Sat, 02 May 2009 20:29:00 +00002009-05-02T16:55:22.515-04:00Facebook, I love you, but I kind of hate you. No, I don't hate you in the way that other whiny computer geeks hate you. I'm not in love with Myspace and having pissing contests over the two of you. I'm not all caught up in your format and yelling, "Wah wah wah! I don't like how you are trying to be Twitter!" I'm not even a member of "Bring the Old Facebook Back!"Why? Because I'm not a whinyhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/FIKvq2T-ZCU/all-of-your-neuroses-available-today-on.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)11http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2009/05/all-of-your-neuroses-available-today-on.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-7416172377621279573Tue, 28 Apr 2009 02:17:00 +00002009-04-27T22:39:08.457-04:00Amos and his crazy waysKid Art AuctionAmos and I are participating in the 2009 Kid Art Auction, the brainchild of Greeblemonkey and Fruitlady. This year's proceeds will benefit Nature Conservancy.I intended to add these sooner than today, but as you may be aware, I've had tremendous computer issues as of late. Now that those days are over, I can get back to my 'ritin', 'rithmetic, and ruminatin'.About a month or so ago, I bought http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/ppfuJirdfsw/kid-makes-art-for-good-cause.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)1http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2009/04/kid-makes-art-for-good-cause.htmltag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-3750341707445759640Fri, 24 Apr 2009 04:18:00 +00002009-04-24T01:06:53.105-04:00Blog365vlogAmos and his crazy waysthings we do when no one is watchingSo, yes. I've entered the new century with fancy doodads and geegaws. My new laptop arrived today! *massive cheers*Amos and I decided to try the built-in camera. Let me know what you think of the audio. Video #1 is done with better lighting and the microphone from a headset. Video #2 is bad lighting and the laptop's built-in microphone. Better here or here? This one, or that one?Please pardon thehttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/xp0T4cP9lsM/vlad-vlogger.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)3http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2009/04/vlad-vlogger.htmlhttp://www.blogger.com/video-play.mp4?contentId=5b47d82a8dc7f69f&type=video%2Fmp4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3651718894396184210.post-1673262726256065587Thu, 16 Apr 2009 23:59:00 +00002009-04-16T20:14:18.590-04:00someone should strap me to a gurney and lock me away for thoughts like thisYet, there is no relief in sight. Damn you, Alka Seltzer.Okay, maybe I shouldn't damn you if I didn't actually take your product, but I do damn your brethren of cold/flu medicines that I did take - and did not work.I caught a cold from Amos. He was all cute and drippy with his cold, while I am a face-swollen, drippy, achy, disgusting mess. Oh, to have the immune system of a toddler. Currentlyhttp://feedproxy.google.com/~r/imaginarybinky/~3/q2MbyGjZexY/plop-plop-fizz-fizz.htmlnoreply@blogger.com (imaginary binky)5http://www.imaginarybinky.com/2009/04/plop-plop-fizz-fizz.html