Lost Soul

Thank You my life

2020-04-27T20:59:00.000-07:00

what i write? how i write, when there are so many thoughts, hovering over my mind, when there are so many questions appearing in my mind, when my faith in everything has sunk to such low point, when my life has turned down by none other than the person i chose to be my life.

who i blame?
you?
i?
or family?
situations?

but in all of this, the losses have been mine, my life got destroyed, my dreams got shattered, my home got burnt down in to ashes.

i gave you candle to lighten my house, and you burnt down my house, which i made only for you. thank you my dear. thank you very much. thank you for all the pain you have given me and still doing all of this.

thank you life.

sometimes i think i should end my life to end all this suffering.
what is benefit of all this achievement in life?
what is benefit of being top of my career, position, money, when you have destroyed our life, our personal life?
i am breaking down to the point, i cant recover, i cant save myself. i am supposed to save my parents, my brother, by the atrocities you and your family has done and still doing now, but how I do it? when i myself is broken beyond repair. when i am breaking each moment, by your deceit, your lies, your negativeness, your bad intentions, your BAD KARMAs, how do i supposed to uplift them, i can't, i am defeated. i am lost. i am broken into million little pieces and i cant recollect myself and remade myself as a new person.
i want to die, i really want to die, dying each and every Moment, i want to end my suffering. I cant tell it to any one. Only thing which is stopping me to do it is duty towards my parents. if i take any such steps, they will broke down. i have to live for them.

thank you for making me so weak in life, thank you for destroying me to such extent.

The reason of so much unsatisfaction?

2017-02-13T05:39:00.000-08:00

I asked, "what is the reason of so much un-satisfaction?"

He replied, "Because we all are slave of our limitless cravings and desires....!"

Today is the day...!

2017-02-10T06:32:00.001-08:00

The little problems of life make us worried and agitated. We have no patience at all. We need everything just now. Mind has become the warehouse of worries. Not for a single moment we are free.
What has happened to us?

I need to find a long term goal to overcome the fluctuations of the little failure of life. I have to attain calmness. This too shall pass...! I have to set my priorities. My long term goals in life to sustain the cyclone of short term failures in life.

No one but I am responsible for all my destiny. I am fortunate to get this human life and I should not waste this on mundane worries. What will happen? Today or tomorrow we all have to perish. Today or tomorrow we all have to die. Today or tomorrow we all have to leave everything we accumulate here in this world. Nothing goes with us afterlife. Worries of future is worthless. We never know what will happen in life. Even we don't know If the next moment will be our last or not. Still we live like we are going to live forever.

I have to balance my mind and keep my cool to maintain perfect equanimity.
Yes... today I have decided my long term goal. I will cling to that. Nothing matters except peace of my mind and my happiness. I have to progress towards my long term goal.