The sidelines are a pressure cooker. You’re reading body language, deciding on the one question to ask in a split second, and staying calm when everything around you is anything but. Motherhood requires all of that and then some. Every working mom has her own version of the sideline. If you’ve ever wondered how work makes you a better mom, here are 4 lessons I’ve learned to apply at work and at home.

1. Read the situation quickly.

As a sideline reporter, I have seconds—not minutes—to assess what just happened on the field. Is the coach furious about the play call or proud of his team’s execution despite the bad result? Is the quarterback rattled or already locked in on the next drive? Reading the room is everything. Getting that wrong means a terrible interview. Getting it right means you actually get the story.

Reese and Jack have given me a lot of chances to practice. I’m guessing your kids have given you plenty too. When Reese is blowing bubbles and Jack keeps popping every single one with a stick, I’ve learned to do a quick read before I say a word: Is he doing it to be funny. or is he actually trying to make his big sis mad? Is she about to lose it, or does she think it’s a little bit funny? Sometimes I read the situation wrong and have to pivot fast, but live TV has taught me how to shake it off and move on.

2. Ask the right question.

I don’t have much time with a coach or player on the sideline. There’s no warm-up, no small talk, no easing into it. I’ve spent years learning to cut straight to what they actually want to talk about, whether that’s the momentum shift, the emotion of the moment, or what needs to be adjusted for the next half. That skill came from repetition and a lot of mistakes.

I literally ask questions for a living. But motherhood has taught me that one good one beats twenty every time. At bedtime, my little spitfire usually gets going on her own. Those nights, I just try to keep up with all of her stories. On other nights, it takes the right question, like “What was the hardest part of your day?” or “What made you laugh today?” to hear about the parts of her day that mattered most.

3. Stay focused despite the chaos around you.

I’ve reported from stadiums with over 100,000 fans screaming, players running within inches of me, and extreme weather conditions. And I still have to deliver a clear, calm sideline interview. Over the years, I’ve learned to build a little bubble of focus in the middle of all of it. I can’t turn down the noise, but I can choose to turn my focus to who is right in front of me.

There are days when I walk through my front door, and it’s like the whole world needs something from me at once. Jack. Reese. Dinner. The dog. Josh. Packed stadiums have nothing on a Tuesday night at the Rutledge house. You don’t have to work on the sidelines to know that feeling. These are the moments when I really realize how work makes you a better mom. I remind myself to find the same calm bubble I built on the sideline. When I stay calm, my calm becomes their calm. I don’t always pull it off, but I’ve seen it work enough to keep trying.

4. Build trust by consistently showing up.

I admired Paul Finebaum from afar long before I ever got to work with him. What struck me wasn’t just how good he was but how consistently he showed up, week after week, with the same preparation and the same integrity. When I finally got to SEC Nation, I understood it even more. In this business, coaches and players open up because you’ve shown up the same way a hundred times before.

I used to dream of a back row full of kids. But as a working mom, I can’t always be there the way I want to be. I do drop off, but not pickup. I miss things. We all do. But Reese and Jack know what they can count on: our bedtime routine, the breakfast I make before I leave, and the FaceTime calls when I’m on the road. And I always make sure Reese knows how proud I am of her. I do the same with Jack, even if right now his version is more belly raspberries than heart-to-hearts. The showing up is the trust.

Have you ever noticed how work makes you a better mom? What’s the skill that surprised you most?

The post Laura Rutledge: 4 Sideline Lessons That Apply to Parenting appeared first on iMOM.

These days, AI is about as close as we’re going to get. ChatGPT will never replace a mom’s wisdom or instincts, but like the best intern, it can work well under your direction. And the more guidance you give it, the more helpful it becomes. If you’ve been curious about ChatGPT for moms but weren’t sure where to start, here are 3 practical ways to put it to work.

1. Meal Planning 

There are three little words so many moms dread hearing every night: What’s for dinner? We answer that question at least 365 times a year, which means we need a plan 365 times a year (give or take 10 nights where it’s acceptable to serve cereal). 

That’s why a ChatGPT meal plan has become one of my favorite kitchen helpers. 

ChatGPT can help you:

• Plan meals around your family’s actual schedule
• Stretch your grocery budget
• Use ingredients before they expire
• Work around allergies and picky eaters
• Reinvent leftovers into something your family might actually eat

When using ChatGPT prompts for meal planning, skip the generic “give me easy dinners” request and be specific instead: “My daughter has soccer until 7. My youngest refuses anything green and doesn’t like food that touches. I have ground turkey that needs to be used tonight, $40 left in my grocery budget, and about 25 minutes to cook. Give me 3 options.”

Customize these prompts:

• “Plan five weeknight dinners for a family of four. Our kids are 14 and 11. We have sports practice on Monday and Wednesday. I want one slow-cooker meal. Include a grocery list for Aldi with a budget of $200.”
• “Here’s everything in my refrigerator and pantry. Build three dinners using these ingredients before adding anything else to my shopping list.”
• “My family eats gluten-free, my 10-year-old refuses mixed casseroles, and I have a $125 weekly grocery budget. Create five dinners and five school lunches.”
• “Suggest five meals that hide vegetables and are likely to win over a picky toddler who loves finger foods.”

We’re not quite living in the Jetsons era, so AI won’t cook dinner for you…yet. But if ChatGPT for moms helps answer “What’s for dinner?” a little faster, that’s one less decision your brain has to carry today.

2. Kids’ Homework 

I don’t know exactly when it became part of the parenting job description to be an expert in dividing fractions, the water cycle, and literary analysis, but here we are. The problem is, most of us haven’t solved for x in a while. Plus, the teaching methods have evolved since then anyway.

ChatGPT can help you:

• Explain tricky concepts at your child’s level (or reteach you first, if needed)
• Create extra practice problems 
• Brainstorm ideas for science projects around your child’s interests
• Break big assignments into smaller, more manageable steps
• Turn a study guide into a fun quiz or game

Customize these prompts:

• “Explain how to find the area of a triangle to a 4th grader who learns best with visual examples.”
• “My 3rd grader is struggling to memorize multiplication facts. Give me 10 ideas to help him. He loves cars and playing basketball, so give me ideas that involve those things.”
• “My son has ADHD and keeps forgetting assignments. Help me break this history project into daily tasks that he can finish in 15-20 minutes.”
• “My middle schooler says, ‘I don’t know where to start.’ Here’s the assignment. Don’t solve it. Help us figure out the first three steps.”

Just like a good intern, AI shouldn’t do the work for you (or your child). But it can make it easier for you to do your best work and help your child do his best too.

3. Discipline and Hard Conversations

Even for this professional writer married to a counselor, sometimes the hardest part of parenting isn’t knowing what to do. It’s knowing what to say (and how). What do you say when you suspect your middle schooler stumbled upon porn online? Or when your hyper-sensitive child comes home in tears because of friendship drama? Or after one of those mornings when everyone is running late, you lose your cool, and you’ve been piling on the mom guilt ever since?

That’s where ChatGPT for moms can help you find the words for the everyday hard stuff. (The bigger struggles, though, such as ongoing anxiety, grief, and anything that keeps you up at night, deserve a real conversation with a counselor or pastor.) 

ChatGPT can help you:

• Script calm, age-appropriate responses to behavior issues
• Prepare for difficult conversations
• Find words to repair your relationship after you’ve lost your cool
• Brainstorm consequences that fit the child and the situation

Customize these prompts:

• “My 12-year-old keeps lying about screen time. Give me a calm, age-appropriate script that stays firm without shaming him. I prefer natural consequences over punishment, and he tends to shut down when voices get louder.”
• “My son gets overwhelmed every Sunday night before school. Help me think through what questions I should ask before assuming he just doesn’t want to go.”
• “My daughter asked why God lets bad things happen. Help me explain this in a way that’s appropriate for an 8-year-old and aligns with what the Bible says. Include Scripture references that I can use with her.”
• “Help me explain the same consequence to a strong-willed child, an anxious child, and a highly sensitive child.”

While ChatGPT for moms helps us put into words what we’re struggling to say or gives us ideas on discipline, we are still the experts on our kids. So trust your gut and decide what works best for your family.

Before Putting AI to Work for You

Every good intern needs supervision. ChatGPT and other AI chatbots make mistakes with the confidence of a teen debating a missed curfew, so verify facts, Scriptures, math, and anything else that matters before you rely on ChatGPT for moms. Second, share patterns, not particulars. ChatGPT doesn’t need your child’s name, school, or photo to help you. And third, if your kid’s school has an AI policy, know it before using these tools for homework help. It’s also never too early to teach digital literacy to your kids. Make sure they know the difference between getting help from AI and getting answers.

AI can’t hug your child or pray for them. It can’t notice the look on your child’s face that tells you something’s wrong. But if it can take a few decisions off your plate so you have more energy for those things…that’s a pretty good intern.

How would you put your new AI intern to work?

The post 3 ChatGPT Hacks That Make Mom Life Easier appeared first on iMOM.

Motherhood and live broadcasting have more in common than I ever expected. Both are completely unscripted. Both will humble you on your best day. And both require you to stay composed when everything is coming at you, even a hangry toddler. Live TV was a better preparation for motherhood than I ever gave it credit for. Here are 5 things it taught me about how to be a calm parent.

1. I can’t control everything, but I can control my response.

Live TV has handed me plenty of moments I didn’t see coming, including a post-game interview that many people saw on Monday Night Football and had a lot of opinions about. I had no control over the player’s response, but I had full control over how I showed up in that moment. I pivoted, stayed present, and finished the job.

Parenting little ones works the same way. When Jack has a full meltdown in the middle of a grocery store, I can’t rewind the situation and stop what set him off. But I can take a breath, get down to his level, and just be with him in it. That’s usually enough. He calms down faster. And I feel less frantic.

As moms, we can’t script motherhood. But deciding how we respond is the first step in figuring out how to be a calm parent.

2. I focus on what is instead of what isn’t.

There’s nothing quite like losing your earpiece during a live broadcast to teach you about staying present. When the feed goes dead, or I can’t hear my producers, I have two options: panic about everything I’m missing or lock in on what’s right in front of me. I learned to read body language, stay in the conversation, and trust what I could see.

The same thing happens at home. When Jack was running a fever and everything we’d planned just didn’t happen, I had the same two choices: stress about the missed event or focus on what was right in front of me—an extra snuggly little boy who just wanted his mom. Those slow sick days are actually some of the sweetest ones we’ve had because I was fully there for them.

As moms, the moments our kids remember are rarely the ones we planned.

3. I practice quick mental resets.

On NFL Live, I might have 90 seconds between segments. If I messed up a stat or a segment went sideways, I can’t carry that weight into the next one. The camera won’t wait for me to process my feelings about it. So I learned the power of the quick reset: deep breath, shake it off, refocus. Done. Dwelling on what just went wrong costs you the next opportunity. Every time.

It works at home too. Some nights, bedtime is a whole thing. Reese requests a dance routine from Josh and me. Jack has like a bazillion questions about dinosaurs. And they both want more water. When I start to feel myself losing it, I’ve learned to stop and take a beat before the next thing. That’s it. That’s the whole reset.

As moms, sometimes the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is just take a breath and start fresh.

4. I laugh at mistakes in real time.

I love a good blooper. I genuinely do. I don’t take myself too seriously at work, and when I say the wrong team name or completely trip over my words on air, I just laugh and move on. The moment I treat a mistake like it’s catastrophic, it becomes one. But when I laugh and keep going, so does everyone else. That’s true in a broadcast studio, and it is absolutely true at home with my family.

Cooking with my kids is a guaranteed blooper reel. The audio I cut from my cooking videos tells the whole story. Reese is singing at the top of her lungs. My wildman Jack is adding in extra shakes of spices—something inevitably spilling—and the dog is convinced it’s all for him. I wouldn’t trade it. When I laugh instead of stress, the chaos and cracked eggs on the floor just become part of the fun.

When we laugh at our mistakes, our kids learn to laugh at theirs.

5. I transition fast without overthinking it.

After halftime interviews, I have roughly two minutes to make it from the field to the concourse to host the halftime show. It’s a full-on sprint. There is no time to mentally ease into the next thing. I just go. I trust my prep and make the transition. I can’t hesitate or overthink it, or I’m toast.

Nobody warned me that walking through my own front door would feel like sprinting to the halftime desk. One second, I’m “Laura Rutledge, NFL Live host,” and the next I’m “Mommy.” There’s Reese twirling around, showing me her artwork from school. Jack needs a diaper change, and dinner is not going to make itself. I used to stand in the doorway for a second, trying to mentally switch gears. Now I just walk in the door ready for what’s next.

As working moms, we constantly sprint between roles. Learning how to be a calm parent starts with letting go of the graceful transition and just making it.

What’s one thing that’s helped you figure out how to be a calm parent?

The post Laura Rutledge: What Live TV Taught Me About Staying Calm as a Mom appeared first on iMOM.

Through a lot of trial and error, I’ve found four things that help me stay close to Reese and Jack when I’m at work or on the road for ESPN. These little rituals help all of us feel less far apart. And they’ve become my personal playbook for how to stay connected with my family while traveling. (They can work for you too.)

1. I take their toys on adventures with me.

Reese and Jack’s stuffed animals have become a part of my unofficial travel entourage. I’ll tuck one or two into my bag when I fly out for a game and take photos along the way. I’ll text Josh a snapshot of Wildstar waving from the 50-yard line or high-fiving the team mascot to show the kids.

For them, it flips the script. Mom’s not just gone for work; Wildstar is out there having the best time. And just like that, my two worlds don’t feel so far apart. My kids get a kick out of it, and honestly, so do I.

2. I record short voice messages just for them.

On early mornings before the kids wake up, I’ll record a quick voice message or video—just a simple “Good morning, beautiful!” or “Hey buddy, I’m thinking about you today.” Josh plays it for them when they come downstairs.

Little kids don’t understand time zones or broadcast schedules. They just know Mama’s voice. Hearing it in the morning, even when I’m not there to make their eggs, is a tiny bridge between us. I’ve found these messages do something for me too. They give me a moment to be fully theirs before I have to switch from Mommy to Laura Rutledge, ESPN Commentator.

3. I FaceTime from behind the scenes.

Before a broadcast, I’ll sometimes FaceTime Reese and Jack and give them a little tour of the cameras, the set, and the crew, getting everything ready. Or I’ll call them from a breakfast spot in Oxford or Tuscaloosa, wherever I am that weekend, and show them the little place where I’m eating my favorite sandwich. My kids love an overstuffed extra-cheesy breakfast biscuit as much as I do.

When my kids can picture where I am, I’m not really gone from home. Instead, I’m at the place with the cowboy hats, eating those fresh beignets like last year, or sitting on The Quad where Daddy went to school. They get to be part of my trip in a small way.

4. I leave behind surprise notes or treasures.

Before I head out, I’ll put a note in Reese’s lunchbox or leave a little drawing near her pink cape so she’ll find it that day. Nothing elaborate, just a heart and “I love you!” in my handwriting. Other times it’s a small treat hidden in Jack’s backpack. My wildman loves all things sports and construction.

These little notes or treasures say what I can’t always say in person, whether I’m at the ESPN desk or on the other side of the country. It’s a simple thing, but what I want them to feel when they find it is this: Even when I’m not here, I’m thinking about you. 

Mom guilt is a joy killer, and I don’t think it ever fully goes away. What I’ve learned, though, is that you can still show up for your kids even when you can’t be there in person. A stuffed animal riding along on a work trip, a “good morning” message recorded before sunrise, a FaceTime from the sideline, a note tucked in a lunchbox—these are my favorite ways to stay connected with family while traveling. And for Reese and Jack, it’s how they feel loved, and that’s all that matters.

What are your best tips for staying connected with your family while traveling to make your kids feel loved?

The post Laura Rutledge: How I Stay Close to My Kids Even When I’m at Work appeared first on iMOM.

On the days I’m anchoring NFL Live or coming off a long day of production meetings, cooking is sometimes the last thing I feel like doing. But it’s become one of my favorite routines I get to do. Yes, cooking with kids takes longer. Yes, I’m wiping flour and sauces off every surface within a three-foot radius of my son. But the mundane is anything but ordinary.

Here’s what cooking with kids has taught me along the way and why I think it’s worth it.

1. It creates quality time that feels natural.

When we’re standing side by side at the counter—Jack on his step stool, Reese measuring out ingredients—conversation just happens. We talk about their day, their latest big ideas, and the funny thing that big George, our not-so-little puppy, did that morning. There’s no pressure, no agenda. Just us, making something together.

It’s not perfect, but that’s the secret. The moment I decided the meal and the process didn’t have to look restaurant-quality, everyone relaxed, including me. It’s probably why we often throw in some song and dance moves in the middle of it all.

2. Kids are more inclined to eat what they’ve made.

I used to spend real energy trying to convince Reese and Jack to eat what I put in front of them. And then I realized that when my kids helped make dinner, they were way more invested in actually eating it. Ownership is a powerful motivator, even for a preschooler.

Let them stir the soup. Let them sprinkle the cheese. Let them (carefully) pour in the pasta. Whatever recipe you’re making for your family, find at least one job that’s theirs. You’d be amazed at what a little hands-on involvement can do for a child who swore they didn’t like vegetables ten minutes earlier.

3. It sneaks in real-life skills.

Measuring, mixing, pouring, and following steps in order are all skills my kids are picking up without even realizing it. Jack is learning gentleness every time he cracks an egg (although right now he just crumbles all the shell in his hands and throws it in the bowl). Reese is developing confidence in her ability to follow a recipe and make something special for the family.

When cooking with kids, investing in the right tools makes all the difference. A kid-safe knife, a sturdy mixing bowl with a handle, and a reliable step stool make it safe and manageable for your kids to contribute. Once I stopped worrying about every sharp edge and hot surface, I realized how grateful I was to share my love of cooking with them.

4. It slows me down—in the best possible way.

At ESPN, I’m wired to move fast, think faster, and be ready for anything. Cooking with kids forces me to do the opposite. You cannot rush a toddler who is very seriously spooning tomato sauce into a pot one tiny spoonful at a time.

And honestly? I need that. When I’m following Jack’s pace and celebrating the fact that he remembered to “stir slowly” all by himself, I’m not thinking about the next segment or the email I still need to send. I’m just there with him. Those tiny wins—trying a new food, mastering a small skill—are the moments I want to collect. And when I look back at the random moments documented on my phone each day, I can’t help but smile. Cooking with kids is chaos. It’s a mess. But it’s so dang fun.

5. Kids feel like important contributors.

There is nothing quite like watching your child stand a little taller because she did something real. When Reese slices fruit, or Jack enthusiastically squeezes the tomatoes into the bowl for the sauce, they’re not playing pretend. They’re really helping to make a meal.

I’ve learned to let them own their task completely, even when it’s not exactly how I would do it. Slightly overcooked scrambled eggs made by a child who is beaming with pride? That’s a meal worth eating. Giving our kids real responsibilities—not just the pretend kind—is where confidence is built. And the kitchen is one of the best places I know to start.

What are your go-to recipes for cooking with kids? This kid-friendly spaghetti carbonara is in the rotation in my kitchen.

The post Laura Rutledge: Why Letting Your Kids Help Cook Is Worth It appeared first on iMOM.

Between my years covering elite athletes at ESPN and watching Josh transition from MLB player to hands-on dad, I’ve learned a lot about what actually makes a man great. The qualities I’ve come to admire most have nothing to do with talent or status, and everything to do with character. For me, these 3 things are at the heart of how to raise a boy into a good man. And they are exactly what I want Jack to know.

1. He has the power to change the energy in the room.

My mom always told me to find joy in every situation. Learning to be the person who brings the light in shaped me more than almost anything else she taught me. And now, I’m teaching that to Jack too.

There are mornings when our house is full of competing needs: Reese twirling, talking a mile a minute, Josh hunting for the leash to take the dog out, and me cooking breakfast and cleaning up spills. And then Jack comes into the room, belly-laughing at absolutely nothing, and somehow the whole room shifts. That’s not a small thing. That’s a gift.

At ESPN, I’ve noticed that often the best teammates aren’t necessarily the most talented. They’re the ones who keep it light under pressure and lift the people around them when everything is on the line. That quality starts at home. When your son pats his baby sister’s back because she’s crying and he just wants her to feel better, that’s something you helped create. Don’t underestimate that.

2. He doesn’t have to choose between tough and tender.

Some of the men I admire most in sports are fierce competitors on the field and completely unguarded off of it. They’ll fight hard for every yard and then turn around and talk openly about what they’re struggling with, or give a teammate a hug when things fall apart. That combination of toughness and tenderness is something I find deeply impressive. And it’s something I want Jack to grow into.

I already see both sides in him. He’ll wrestle with Josh like it’s a championship bout, then turn right around and use the gentlest little pats on our puppy’s head. He loves sports, trucks, and snuggling on the couch with his favorite blanket. And he adores his big sis. All of it counts. None of it cancels out the other.

As moms, we get to teach our sons that being strong doesn’t mean hiding how you feel. Strength can look like gentleness. The world needs men who can hold both. And we get to be the ones raising them.

3. His character matters more than his achievements.

One of the things ESPN has taught me is that careers end. Stats fade. Even the most celebrated athletes eventually hand over their cleats. But your character endures: how you made your teammates feel, whether you showed up when it mattered, what kind of person was underneath the jersey.

I think about Josh’s journey a lot. He was a professional baseball player. Now he’s the dad who gets on the floor to wrestle with Jack, fixes Reese’s hair for school, and, in a pinch, picks out my outfits for TV. Watching him show up for our family with the same commitment he brought to baseball is the kind of integrity I hope Jack absorbs just by being around his dad.

Our sons will have plenty of people pushing them to be the best in the room. But our job is to raise them to be the kindest. To be honest, to show up for others, to make people feel seen and loved. When they’re grown, their character will matter far more than any achievement or accolade.

The good man is already in there.

Nobody hands you a play-by-play game plan for how to raise a boy into a good man. (And they don’t hand you one for raising daughters either.) But somewhere between the 85th reading of Where’s Spot and the mornings when Jack says “pwease” without being reminded, I’ve started to see it. The man my little boy will become is already taking shape.

Mom, those small things aren’t filler between the big moments. They are the moments. And you’re in the middle of them every single day. You are raising up the man your boy will grow into. Every time you encourage your son to use his words, cheer on a friend, or get back up after a hard day, you’re building character that will outlast any trophy or title. Keep going. The good man is already forming.

What’s one moment that showed you the good man your son is already becoming?

The post Laura Rutledge: 3 Things I’m Raising My Son to Know appeared first on iMOM.

I’ve thought about that post a lot since then, especially as both kids get bigger and the days feel simultaneously longer and shorter. And I’ve learned that embracing the beauty of motherhood means letting this love be exactly as overwhelming and transformative as it actually is. These are the 5 truths I keep coming back to (and maybe you do too).

1. This love started with longing (and that makes it sweeter).

I remember the gnawing wonder of whether it would happen for me. And I remember being sure I couldn’t do it. Josh and I tried for nearly two years before getting pregnant with Reese. I’d scroll through friends’ pregnancy announcements, go to their baby showers, and feel that particular ache every month.

Now, when Reese pats my face at 5:30 a.m. with her whispered, “Mommy, are you awake?” I think about that version of me who would have given anything for these early morning wake-ups. Desperately wanting to be a mom made becoming one even more profound. The ache of waiting shaped my gratitude in ways I didn’t expect. Now I’m grateful for the early mornings I once only dreamed about.

2. This love makes you someone’s whole world.

There’s something sacred about being the person your children need most. Those little souls who need you and only you.

How all-consuming this love is, well, no one prepared me for that. When Jack climbs on the couch to snuggle or when Reese invites me to a tea party, I’m the one they’re calling for. Not just anyone. Me. Sometimes they both need me at the exact same moment, in different rooms, for completely different reasons. Being their everything is the greatest privilege I’ve ever known.

3. This love breaks you open (in the best way).

“The desperate grappling for who you were will fracture you,” I wrote in that post. “And then they make you whole.” That line keeps echoing in my head because it’s so true.

At ESPN, I’m Laura Rutledge, the host, the commentator, the one analyzing plays and interviewing coaches. At home, I’m just “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!” shouted from three rooms away. And somehow, the second identity makes me whole in ways the first never could. They break my heart and heal it simultaneously, like the way Reese still reaches for my hand in parking lots, the way Jack’s whole face lights up when I walk through the door.

Try to squeeze your eyes shut and imagine a world where you weren’t their mama. You can’t, right? And it was just a few years ago. The sheer awe of it all will bring you to tears.

4. This love grows in the ordinary moments.

I’m always looking for the gold in the mess now. And it’s always there. This is feeling helpless one minute, laughing the next, because everyone had to poop at the same time. Crying because it’s all so unbelievably beautiful. A newborn’s first smile. Tiny 3T jean shorts left on the bathroom floor. Sequins scattered across the coffee table like fairy dust from yesterday’s craft project.

The mess, the laundry, the dishes. They’re all evidence of a full life. Embracing the beauty of motherhood most often happens in those unglamorous, everyday moments. Making scrambled eggs and bananas for Reese on a paper plate. Taking Jack to the potty for the tenth time today. Following our bedtime routine for the thousandth time. That’s where maternal love grows—in the ordinary moments.

5. This love is the gift I want to give them.

Their grace and simple wisdom bring you to your knees. And while you’re at it, you pray that somehow you can give them what they deserve, that you’ll be enough for these little souls who see you as their whole world. For me, embracing the beauty of motherhood starts with seeing them clearly.

I see Reese’s confidence and quick wit. I see Jack’s biggest smiles, the ones he saves for his sister. “If I could only give you one gift in life,” I wrote in that post, “it would be the ability to see yourself how I see you every single day.” What I hope they know—really know—is not just that they’re loved, but that they’re seen. The privilege of being their mom, of watching who they’re becoming, is something I’ll never take for granted, even on the days when I wonder if I’m enough.

Maternal love isn’t neat or contained or easy to articulate. It’s overwhelming and chaotic and transformative. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

What does embracing the beauty of motherhood look like for you right now?

The post Laura Rutledge: 5 Truths About Maternal Love I Never Expected appeared first on iMOM.

There’s a name for that pressure. Researchers call it performative mom culture. And that pressure can reshape how you parent and slowly steal your joy. Here’s what you need to know about performative mom culture and how to start releasing that pressure.

What does performative mom culture mean?

Performative mom culture is the mental pressure moms put on themselves to prove they are good parents, rather than just focusing on being one.

Think of it as steady pressure without a release valve. Instead of just feeding your kids chicken nuggets and calling it a win, you’re judging yourself for not making that all-organic bento box you saw on Instagram. When your two-year-old has a meltdown at the store, your initial thoughts are, “Am I handling this right? What are people thinking?” instead of “What does my child need?” You’re managing internal judgment and external perception instead of the moment.

This pressure never relents. At the playground, you’re monitoring whether your child is being “too rough.” At church, you’re hyper-aware of how loud your child talks. At family gatherings, you’re preemptively apologizing for your kid’s energy or emotions. You’re “performing” the role of mom instead of being one.

When we parent for an idealized version of motherhood instead of focusing on our kids’ needs, we face discouragement, exhaustion, and the nagging feeling that we’re never quite getting it right. That’s performative mom culture.

Why do I keep comparing myself to other moms?

Our brains naturally make comparisons. It’s one of the ways we learn. When you notice another mom’s calm tone when her child melts down, your brain takes notes. That’s healthy.

But social media reroutes this healthy instinct into unhealthy territory. A 2018 meta-analysis of brain imaging studies published in Human Brain Mapping found that comparing yourself to others and feeling like you’re falling short actually registers as pain in the brain. Your mind processes it the same way it would a physical injury. So if you’ve ever felt that pit in your stomach while watching influencer reels of organized pantries and color-coordinated kids, that’s a real neurological response. Once you recognize what’s happening, you can interrupt the pattern before it robs you of your peace.

There’s a difference between picking up a helpful hack from a friend and measuring yourself against curated strangers online at 11 p.m. One builds you up. The other tears you down.

Why does social media make me feel like a bad mom?

Social media turns healthy comparison into constant self-doubt. It teaches your brain to question your instincts, spikes your stress hormones, and robs you of present-moment joy with your kids. And in your everyday routines with your family, you find yourself thinking, “This would make a great post” before you think, “This is a great moment.”

A 2023 study in the Journal of Child and Family Studies found that parents who compare themselves to other parents online experience higher levels of stress and are less likely to trust their own parenting instincts.

This constant comparison keeps your body in a state of chronic stress. And, honestly, we all carry enough stress around just being a mom. We don’t need to add on more!

How do I know if I am being performative?

Ask yourself: “Would I make this same parenting choice if no one were watching?”

Here are some signs you might be parenting for an audience instead of your child:

Your first response is about perception, not connection. When your child doesn’t make the honor roll, your first thought is “What will other parents think?” instead of “How is my child feeling about this?”

You parent differently in public. You discipline, talk to, or respond to your kids one way at home and another way when others are watching because you’re worried about how it looks.

You lead with apologies. Before entering spaces with your child, you find yourself saying, “Sorry in advance,” as if your kid being a kid is something you need to excuse.

You feel like you’re competing. When another mom mentions her kid’s activities, you feel pressure to match or one-up, rather than just listen and encourage.

Performative mom culture wants you to believe that good mothering looks a certain way. But every mom-child pair is a unique relationship. You know your child best.

How can I stop comparing myself to other moms?

Breaking free from the performative mom culture starts with awareness. Notice your “audience check” moments. When do you find yourself thinking, “What will people think?” Certain situations, such as school events or when family visits, might trigger your performance mode.

Once you’ve identified your triggers, here are some practical ways to break the comparison cycle:

• Update your social media feed. Stop following accounts that make you feel inadequate and seek out those that show real, imperfect motherhood. (Or take a break from social media altogether and see how you feel.)
• Pause before you decide. Before making parenting decisions, ask yourself: Am I choosing this because it’s best for my child and family, or because of how it will look?
• Find your truth-teller mom. Connect with one friend who keeps it real (and you keep it real with her). She’s the one who won’t judge you when you say you’re feeding your kids cereal for dinner again. Instead, she’ll say, “Me, too!”
• Compare yourself to last year’s you, not to other moms. Are you more patient than you were six months ago? That’s growth worth celebrating.

You don’t need to prove you’re a good mom. The fact that you’re reading parenting articles is a clear sign that you already are one! Performative mom culture will keep stealing your joy if you let it, but awareness is the first step to freedom.

Where do you feel the pressure of performative mom culture most: at school pickup, at church, on social media, or somewhere else?

The post What Is Performative Mom Culture? And How to Stop Parenting for Perfection appeared first on iMOM.

Every teen handles school anxiety differently. What rattles one might not faze another, and the strategies that help with test stress don’t work for social pressure or performance jitters. When you’re trying to figure out how to help a child with anxiety about school, it’s good to know what kind of stress your teen is facing. Here are the 3 main types (and ways to support your teen through each).

How do you know if your teen is stressed about school?

You can often tell when your teen is stressed by paying attention to changes in behavior, emotions, and even physical health. Look for signs like:

• Trouble sleeping or nightmares
• Frequent headaches, stomachaches, or other physical complaints
• Perfectionism, procrastination, or slipping grades
• Irritability, withdrawal, or sudden mood changes

Your teen might even admit she feels “stressed” or “overwhelmed.” Other times, anxiety shows up as defiance or laziness. Recognizing these signs is the first step in knowing how to help a child with anxiety about school and guiding her toward coping skills that fit the stress she’s facing.

1. Academic School Stress

Academic school stress can manifest as perfectionism, procrastination, and physical symptoms such as headaches before tests, often fueled by the pressure to keep up with peers, high expectations, or the school culture.

According to the Pew Research Center, 68 percent of teens say they feel significant pressure to get good grades. Academic anxiety happens when the pressure to do well starts to feel heavier than the motivation to try.

What can you say to help with academic and test stress?

Focus on effort over outcomes, help your teen reality-check fears, and encourage a relaxed mindset. Your calm attitude reminds her what matters most. For example, instead of saying the classic, “Do your best,” try, “You put in the time and studied well.” Ask questions like, “What’s the worst that could happen?” and brainstorm ways to handle it. Talking through worries reduces anxiety, and it’s a go-to technique used by therapists.

Encourage a relaxed mindset with reminders like, “You know more than you think. Start with what you know and go from there.” These simple steps can help anxious thoughts settle.

What are the best anxiety coping skills for teens struggling academically?

Break big tasks into smaller steps, model resilience, and help your teen prioritize. When school stress spikes, these tools make life feel manageable.

• Split assignments into steps. Set mini-deadlines for larger assignments: outline by Tuesday, draft by Thursday, finish by Friday. Small wins build confidence and teach your teen how to handle stress.
• Normalize failure. Share a story of a time you struggled and bounced back. Learning from mistakes is part of growth.
• Prioritize wisely. Help your teen focus on what matters most and let the rest be “good enough.”

These strategies are practical ways to help your teen and can guide you in how to help a child with anxiety about school.

2. Social Anxiety School Stress

Social anxiety shows up as avoiding group hangouts, constantly worrying about what peers think, or obsessive phone-checking. Social anxiety is often about the fear of being judged, rejected, or embarrassed. And for socially anxious teens, the effort to appear “OK” all day at school leaves them emotionally spent.

What can you say when your teen is stressed about friendships?

Start with empathy, validate feelings, and give your teen choices in how to respond. Feeling heard and safe is what matters most. Try saying: “It sounds like that conversation really upset you. Do you want to talk about it, or take some space first?”

Avoid minimizing your teen’s feelings with phrases like, “You won’t even remember this in a few years.” Instead, empower your teen with questions like, “What could make things better next time?” or “How would you like to handle it?” Validation coupled with choice helps your teen process social stress without feeling judged or pressured.

What helps teens build social confidence?

Encourage your teen to take low-stakes social risks like joining a club, initiating a study group, or inviting a friend to grab food after school. And help your teen manage online spaces that impact their self-esteem.

Research shows passive scrolling and online comparison increase anxiety in teens. So, encourage your teen to curate her feed by asking: “Which accounts make you feel worse about yourself? What would happen if you unfollowed them for a week?”

3. Performance Anxiety School Stress

Performance anxiety happens when the fear of being judged takes over, whether your teen is giving a presentation, competing in a game, or performing in a play. Signs could include wanting to quit activities she once loved, practicing obsessively, or experiencing panic attacks.

What can you say to ease performance pressure?

Balance encouragement with reality, and normalize nerves. Try saying, “You’ve put in the work. You’re ready. If something unexpected happens, you’ll handle it.” That’s more reassuring than blanket statements like “You’ll do great,” which can add pressure to be perfect. Remind your teen, “Even professionals get pre-performance jitters.”

What are good coping skills for performance anxiety in teens?

Use visualization to rehearse success, practice strategically without overdoing it, and try breathing techniques.

Try these strategies together:

• Visualization: Spend time picturing nailing that presentation or catching the pop fly. Rehearsing success eases stress.
• Preparation in Moderation: Practicing more isn’t always best. When stress starts to escalate, take a break.
• Breathing Techniques: Box breathing calms the nervous system. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, breathe out for four, and hold for four (and repeat).

When should you seek professional help for teen anxiety?

Seek help if your teen’s anxiety interferes with daily functioning, causes persistent physical symptoms, includes thoughts of self-harm, or doesn’t improve with your support. Knowing how to help a child with anxiety about school includes realizing when you need to point your teen toward professional help.

What’s one strategy that’s worked for you in helping a child with anxiety about school? Share your tips and experiences below so other moms can benefit too!

The post 3 Kinds of Teen Stress (and How to Help Your Teen Handle Each) appeared first on iMOM.

As moms, we know our kids learn best when they’re excited about what they’re doing. Whether they’re really into playing Minecraft, climbing trees, or collecting Squishmallows, their passions can become go-to tools for learning through play. Here are 5 simple ways to sneak learning into what your child already loves to do.

1. Extend screen time into story time.

My daughter’s love of cars started with the movie Cars (and plenty of repeat viewings during family nights). Instead of worrying about screen time, I used her movie obsession to spark reading. Your child’s favorite show or game can do the same.

If your kid is obsessed with Minecraft, give him a book about architecture, coding, or geology (might as well learn about diamond mining for real!). If your little one is into Bluey, Peppa Pig, or Curious George, look for stories about friendship, family, or kindness (or books featuring those characters). Connecting what kids watch to what they read builds a bridge between entertainment and learning that they won’t even notice they’ve crossed.

Your local librarian can help you find the perfect fit. Or, if you live in Florida, check out the New Worlds Reading Initiative. This free at-home literacy program sends books matched to your child’s interests, so every delivery feels handpicked.

Try this: Learning through play can be as simple as keeping a few themed books near the TV or tablet. After a show ends, say, “Hey, I found a book about that!” Or, visit the library together and let your child choose stories that match his favorite screen adventures.

2. Let your child teach you about her obsession.

When our kids are into something, we can sneak in a little learning upgrade by asking our children to teach us what they know. Studies show that when kids get to “be the teacher,” they actually remember more. Researchers call that the protégé effect.

In one study, students who taught someone else spent more time engaged in reading, reviewing, and problem-solving (and learned more) than students who thought they were learning just for themselves. Turns out that when kids teach, they process ideas on a deeper level, and the sense of responsibility keeps them motivated.

Try this: Ask questions that show you’re genuinely curious about learning from him: “What makes an Allosaurus different from the T. rex?” or “Why did the referee call that offside?” You can even let him assign you a little homework, like a video to watch or a book to read. Then come back together and talk about it!

3. Turn your child’s everyday questions into learning moments.

My oldest once asked why her tummy growls when she’s hungry, and before I knew it, we found a kid-friendly app about the body and had a mini-biology lesson on digestion. Young kids are natural question-askers (you know that’s true!), and every “why” or “how” that your child asks is a perfect opportunity to sneak in some learning.

So when your kid asks which Pokémon card is stronger, that’s math practice waiting to happen as she adds up hit points or compares trading values. Or when she asks, “Mom, what kind of leaf is this?” that’s a little science thrown into your walk as you figure out the answer together.

Try this: When your child gets curious, sneak in a little learning through play by wondering out loud with her. Ask questions like, “Where else have you seen something like this?” or “Why do you think it works that way?” Curiosity grows best when you explore the answers together.

4. Let your child’s playtime spill over into projects.

Here’s where things get really fun! Those curious “why” questions can expand into full-blown projects. When kids make something inspired by what they love (and what triggers their curiosity), learning happens. They’re testing ideas, figuring out what works, and learning from what doesn’t. And kids think they’re playing the whole time because they are.

Try this: Encourage your child to level up her interest. If your child’s obsessed with building LEGO castles, encourage her to create a “tour guide” video for her creation. If your little chef loves pretend cooking, find a simple kids cookbook and make a real recipe together. Or your gamer can design a board game with rules and scorecards.

5. Find books that don’t feel like “books.”

Some kids find comic books, podcasts, and audiobooks more appealing than traditional books. But those sneak in real literacy skills too. Graphic novels help kids build vocabulary and comprehension by pairing images with text in ways that make words stick. Audiobooks spark interest in reading for nearly 40% of kids who listen to them, especially for struggling readers.

Programs like New Worlds Reading make this easy by offering interest-based books in multiple formats, including graphic novel–style stories that hook even the most reluctant readers.

Try this: Check out audiobooks from your local library and use them on road trips or for quiet after-school time. Or find a podcast you can both listen to together in the car. My kids loved listening to the podcast series The Unexplained Disappearance of Mars Patel.

How do you sneak learning into playtime using what your child already loves?

The post 5 Ways to Sneak Learning Into Your Kid’s Favorite Things appeared first on iMOM.