On the days I’m anchoring NFL Live or coming off a long day of production meetings, cooking is sometimes the last thing I feel like doing. But it’s become one of my favorite routines I get to do. Yes, cooking with kids takes longer. Yes, I’m wiping flour and sauces off every surface within a three-foot radius of my son. But the mundane is anything but ordinary.

Here’s what cooking with kids has taught me along the way and why I think it’s worth it.

1. It creates quality time that feels natural.

When we’re standing side by side at the counter—Jack on his step stool, Reese measuring out ingredients—conversation just happens. We talk about their day, their latest big ideas, and the funny thing that big George, our not-so-little puppy, did that morning. There’s no pressure, no agenda. Just us, making something together.

It’s not perfect, but that’s the secret. The moment I decided the meal and the process didn’t have to look restaurant-quality, everyone relaxed, including me. It’s probably why we often throw in some song and dance moves in the middle of it all.

2. Kids are more inclined to eat what they’ve made.

I used to spend real energy trying to convince Reese and Jack to eat what I put in front of them. And then I realized that when my kids helped make dinner, they were way more invested in actually eating it. Ownership is a powerful motivator, even for a preschooler.

Let them stir the soup. Let them sprinkle the cheese. Let them (carefully) pour in the pasta. Whatever recipe you’re making for your family, find at least one job that’s theirs. You’d be amazed at what a little hands-on involvement can do for a child who swore they didn’t like vegetables ten minutes earlier.

3. It sneaks in real-life skills.

Measuring, mixing, pouring, and following steps in order are all skills my kids are picking up without even realizing it. Jack is learning gentleness every time he cracks an egg (although right now he just crumbles all the shell in his hands and throws it in the bowl). Reese is developing confidence in her ability to follow a recipe and make something special for the family.

When cooking with kids, investing in the right tools makes all the difference. A kid-safe knife, a sturdy mixing bowl with a handle, and a reliable step stool make it safe and manageable for your kids to contribute. Once I stopped worrying about every sharp edge and hot surface, I realized how grateful I was to share my love of cooking with them.

4. It slows me down—in the best possible way.

At ESPN, I’m wired to move fast, think faster, and be ready for anything. Cooking with kids forces me to do the opposite. You cannot rush a toddler who is very seriously spooning tomato sauce into a pot one tiny spoonful at a time.

And honestly? I need that. When I’m following Jack’s pace and celebrating the fact that he remembered to “stir slowly” all by himself, I’m not thinking about the next segment or the email I still need to send. I’m just there with him. Those tiny wins—trying a new food, mastering a small skill—are the moments I want to collect. And when I look back at the random moments documented on my phone each day, I can’t help but smile. Cooking with kids is chaos. It’s a mess. But it’s so dang fun.

5. Kids feel like important contributors.

There is nothing quite like watching your child stand a little taller because she did something real. When Reese slices fruit, or Jack enthusiastically squeezes the tomatoes into the bowl for the sauce, they’re not playing pretend. They’re really helping to make a meal.

I’ve learned to let them own their task completely, even when it’s not exactly how I would do it. Slightly overcooked scrambled eggs made by a child who is beaming with pride? That’s a meal worth eating. Giving our kids real responsibilities—not just the pretend kind—is where confidence is built. And the kitchen is one of the best places I know to start.

What are your go-to recipes for cooking with kids? This kid-friendly spaghetti carbonara is in the rotation in my kitchen.

The post Laura Rutledge: Why Letting Your Kids Help Cook Is Worth It appeared first on iMOM.

Between my years covering elite athletes at ESPN and watching Josh transition from MLB player to hands-on dad, I’ve learned a lot about what actually makes a man great. The qualities I’ve come to admire most have nothing to do with talent or status, and everything to do with character. For me, these 3 things are at the heart of how to raise a boy into a good man. And they are exactly what I want Jack to know.

1. He has the power to change the energy in the room.

My mom always told me to find joy in every situation. Learning to be the person who brings the light in shaped me more than almost anything else she taught me. And now, I’m teaching that to Jack too.

There are mornings when our house is full of competing needs: Reese twirling, talking a mile a minute, Josh hunting for the leash to take the dog out, and me cooking breakfast and cleaning up spills. And then Jack comes into the room, belly-laughing at absolutely nothing, and somehow the whole room shifts. That’s not a small thing. That’s a gift.

At ESPN, I’ve noticed that often the best teammates aren’t necessarily the most talented. They’re the ones who keep it light under pressure and lift the people around them when everything is on the line. That quality starts at home. When your son pats his baby sister’s back because she’s crying and he just wants her to feel better, that’s something you helped create. Don’t underestimate that.

2. He doesn’t have to choose between tough and tender.

Some of the men I admire most in sports are fierce competitors on the field and completely unguarded off of it. They’ll fight hard for every yard and then turn around and talk openly about what they’re struggling with, or give a teammate a hug when things fall apart. That combination of toughness and tenderness is something I find deeply impressive. And it’s something I want Jack to grow into.

I already see both sides in him. He’ll wrestle with Josh like it’s a championship bout, then turn right around and use the gentlest little pats on our puppy’s head. He loves sports, trucks, and snuggling on the couch with his favorite blanket. And he adores his big sis. All of it counts. None of it cancels out the other.

As moms, we get to teach our sons that being strong doesn’t mean hiding how you feel. Strength can look like gentleness. The world needs men who can hold both. And we get to be the ones raising them.

3. His character matters more than his achievements.

One of the things ESPN has taught me is that careers end. Stats fade. Even the most celebrated athletes eventually hand over their cleats. But your character endures: how you made your teammates feel, whether you showed up when it mattered, what kind of person was underneath the jersey.

I think about Josh’s journey a lot. He was a professional baseball player. Now he’s the dad who gets on the floor to wrestle with Jack, fixes Reese’s hair for school, and, in a pinch, picks out my outfits for TV. Watching him show up for our family with the same commitment he brought to baseball is the kind of integrity I hope Jack absorbs just by being around his dad.

Our sons will have plenty of people pushing them to be the best in the room. But our job is to raise them to be the kindest. To be honest, to show up for others, to make people feel seen and loved. When they’re grown, their character will matter far more than any achievement or accolade.

The good man is already in there.

Nobody hands you a play-by-play game plan for how to raise a boy into a good man. (And they don’t hand you one for raising daughters either.) But somewhere between the 85th reading of Where’s Spot and the mornings when Jack says “pwease” without being reminded, I’ve started to see it. The man my little boy will become is already taking shape.

Mom, those small things aren’t filler between the big moments. They are the moments. And you’re in the middle of them every single day. You are raising up the man your boy will grow into. Every time you encourage your son to use his words, cheer on a friend, or get back up after a hard day, you’re building character that will outlast any trophy or title. Keep going. The good man is already forming.

What’s one moment that showed you the good man your son is already becoming?

The post Laura Rutledge: 3 Things I’m Raising My Son to Know appeared first on iMOM.

I’ve thought about that post a lot since then, especially as both kids get bigger and the days feel simultaneously longer and shorter. And I’ve learned that embracing the beauty of motherhood means letting this love be exactly as overwhelming and transformative as it actually is. These are the 5 truths I keep coming back to (and maybe you do too).

1. This love started with longing (and that makes it sweeter).

I remember the gnawing wonder of whether it would happen for me. And I remember being sure I couldn’t do it. Josh and I tried for nearly two years before getting pregnant with Reese. I’d scroll through friends’ pregnancy announcements, go to their baby showers, and feel that particular ache every month.

Now, when Reese pats my face at 5:30 a.m. with her whispered, “Mommy, are you awake?” I think about that version of me who would have given anything for these early morning wake-ups. Desperately wanting to be a mom made becoming one even more profound. The ache of waiting shaped my gratitude in ways I didn’t expect. Now I’m grateful for the early mornings I once only dreamed about.

2. This love makes you someone’s whole world.

There’s something sacred about being the person your children need most. Those little souls who need you and only you.

How all-consuming this love is, well, no one prepared me for that. When Jack climbs on the couch to snuggle or when Reese invites me to a tea party, I’m the one they’re calling for. Not just anyone. Me. Sometimes they both need me at the exact same moment, in different rooms, for completely different reasons. Being their everything is the greatest privilege I’ve ever known.

3. This love breaks you open (in the best way).

“The desperate grappling for who you were will fracture you,” I wrote in that post. “And then they make you whole.” That line keeps echoing in my head because it’s so true.

At ESPN, I’m Laura Rutledge, the host, the commentator, the one analyzing plays and interviewing coaches. At home, I’m just “Mommy, Mommy, Mommy!” shouted from three rooms away. And somehow, the second identity makes me whole in ways the first never could. They break my heart and heal it simultaneously, like the way Reese still reaches for my hand in parking lots, the way Jack’s whole face lights up when I walk through the door.

Try to squeeze your eyes shut and imagine a world where you weren’t their mama. You can’t, right? And it was just a few years ago. The sheer awe of it all will bring you to tears.

4. This love grows in the ordinary moments.

I’m always looking for the gold in the mess now. And it’s always there. This is feeling helpless one minute, laughing the next, because everyone had to poop at the same time. Crying because it’s all so unbelievably beautiful. A newborn’s first smile. Tiny 3T jean shorts left on the bathroom floor. Sequins scattered across the coffee table like fairy dust from yesterday’s craft project.

The mess, the laundry, the dishes. They’re all evidence of a full life. Embracing the beauty of motherhood most often happens in those unglamorous, everyday moments. Making scrambled eggs and bananas for Reese on a paper plate. Taking Jack to the potty for the tenth time today. Following our bedtime routine for the thousandth time. That’s where maternal love grows—in the ordinary moments.

5. This love is the gift I want to give them.

Their grace and simple wisdom bring you to your knees. And while you’re at it, you pray that somehow you can give them what they deserve, that you’ll be enough for these little souls who see you as their whole world. For me, embracing the beauty of motherhood starts with seeing them clearly.

I see Reese’s confidence and quick wit. I see Jack’s biggest smiles, the ones he saves for his sister. “If I could only give you one gift in life,” I wrote in that post, “it would be the ability to see yourself how I see you every single day.” What I hope they know—really know—is not just that they’re loved, but that they’re seen. The privilege of being their mom, of watching who they’re becoming, is something I’ll never take for granted, even on the days when I wonder if I’m enough.

Maternal love isn’t neat or contained or easy to articulate. It’s overwhelming and chaotic and transformative. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.

What does embracing the beauty of motherhood look like for you right now?

The post Laura Rutledge: 5 Truths About Maternal Love I Never Expected appeared first on iMOM.

There’s a name for that pressure. Researchers call it performative mom culture. And that pressure can reshape how you parent and slowly steal your joy. Here’s what you need to know about performative mom culture and how to start releasing that pressure.

What does performative mom culture mean?

Performative mom culture is the mental pressure moms put on themselves to prove they are good parents, rather than just focusing on being one.

Think of it as steady pressure without a release valve. Instead of just feeding your kids chicken nuggets and calling it a win, you’re judging yourself for not making that all-organic bento box you saw on Instagram. When your two-year-old has a meltdown at the store, your initial thoughts are, “Am I handling this right? What are people thinking?” instead of “What does my child need?” You’re managing internal judgment and external perception instead of the moment.

This pressure never relents. At the playground, you’re monitoring whether your child is being “too rough.” At church, you’re hyper-aware of how loud your child talks. At family gatherings, you’re preemptively apologizing for your kid’s energy or emotions. You’re “performing” the role of mom instead of being one.

When we parent for an idealized version of motherhood instead of focusing on our kids’ needs, we face discouragement, exhaustion, and the nagging feeling that we’re never quite getting it right. That’s performative mom culture.

Why do I keep comparing myself to other moms?

Our brains naturally make comparisons. It’s one of the ways we learn. When you notice another mom’s calm tone when her child melts down, your brain takes notes. That’s healthy.

But social media reroutes this healthy instinct into unhealthy territory. A 2018 meta-analysis of brain imaging studies published in Human Brain Mapping found that comparing yourself to others and feeling like you’re falling short actually registers as pain in the brain. Your mind processes it the same way it would a physical injury. So if you’ve ever felt that pit in your stomach while watching influencer reels of organized pantries and color-coordinated kids, that’s a real neurological response. Once you recognize what’s happening, you can interrupt the pattern before it robs you of your peace.

There’s a difference between picking up a helpful hack from a friend and measuring yourself against curated strangers online at 11 p.m. One builds you up. The other tears you down.

Why does social media make me feel like a bad mom?

Social media turns healthy comparison into constant self-doubt. It teaches your brain to question your instincts, spikes your stress hormones, and robs you of present-moment joy with your kids. And in your everyday routines with your family, you find yourself thinking, “This would make a great post” before you think, “This is a great moment.”

A 2023 study in the Journal of Child and Family Studies found that parents who compare themselves to other parents online experience higher levels of stress and are less likely to trust their own parenting instincts.

This constant comparison keeps your body in a state of chronic stress. And, honestly, we all carry enough stress around just being a mom. We don’t need to add on more!

How do I know if I am being performative?

Ask yourself: “Would I make this same parenting choice if no one were watching?”

Here are some signs you might be parenting for an audience instead of your child:

Your first response is about perception, not connection. When your child doesn’t make the honor roll, your first thought is “What will other parents think?” instead of “How is my child feeling about this?”

You parent differently in public. You discipline, talk to, or respond to your kids one way at home and another way when others are watching because you’re worried about how it looks.

You lead with apologies. Before entering spaces with your child, you find yourself saying, “Sorry in advance,” as if your kid being a kid is something you need to excuse.

You feel like you’re competing. When another mom mentions her kid’s activities, you feel pressure to match or one-up, rather than just listen and encourage.

Performative mom culture wants you to believe that good mothering looks a certain way. But every mom-child pair is a unique relationship. You know your child best.

How can I stop comparing myself to other moms?

Breaking free from the performative mom culture starts with awareness. Notice your “audience check” moments. When do you find yourself thinking, “What will people think?” Certain situations, such as school events or when family visits, might trigger your performance mode.

Once you’ve identified your triggers, here are some practical ways to break the comparison cycle:

• Update your social media feed. Stop following accounts that make you feel inadequate and seek out those that show real, imperfect motherhood. (Or take a break from social media altogether and see how you feel.)
• Pause before you decide. Before making parenting decisions, ask yourself: Am I choosing this because it’s best for my child and family, or because of how it will look?
• Find your truth-teller mom. Connect with one friend who keeps it real (and you keep it real with her). She’s the one who won’t judge you when you say you’re feeding your kids cereal for dinner again. Instead, she’ll say, “Me, too!”
• Compare yourself to last year’s you, not to other moms. Are you more patient than you were six months ago? That’s growth worth celebrating.

You don’t need to prove you’re a good mom. The fact that you’re reading parenting articles is a clear sign that you already are one! Performative mom culture will keep stealing your joy if you let it, but awareness is the first step to freedom.

Where do you feel the pressure of performative mom culture most: at school pickup, at church, on social media, or somewhere else?

The post What Is Performative Mom Culture? And How to Stop Parenting for Perfection appeared first on iMOM.

Every teen handles school anxiety differently. What rattles one might not faze another, and the strategies that help with test stress don’t work for social pressure or performance jitters. When you’re trying to figure out how to help a child with anxiety about school, it’s good to know what kind of stress your teen is facing. Here are the 3 main types (and ways to support your teen through each).

How do you know if your teen is stressed about school?

You can often tell when your teen is stressed by paying attention to changes in behavior, emotions, and even physical health. Look for signs like:

• Trouble sleeping or nightmares
• Frequent headaches, stomachaches, or other physical complaints
• Perfectionism, procrastination, or slipping grades
• Irritability, withdrawal, or sudden mood changes

Your teen might even admit she feels “stressed” or “overwhelmed.” Other times, anxiety shows up as defiance or laziness. Recognizing these signs is the first step in knowing how to help a child with anxiety about school and guiding her toward coping skills that fit the stress she’s facing.

1. Academic School Stress

Academic school stress can manifest as perfectionism, procrastination, and physical symptoms such as headaches before tests, often fueled by the pressure to keep up with peers, high expectations, or the school culture.

According to the Pew Research Center, 68 percent of teens say they feel significant pressure to get good grades. Academic anxiety happens when the pressure to do well starts to feel heavier than the motivation to try.

What can you say to help with academic and test stress?

Focus on effort over outcomes, help your teen reality-check fears, and encourage a relaxed mindset. Your calm attitude reminds her what matters most. For example, instead of saying the classic, “Do your best,” try, “You put in the time and studied well.” Ask questions like, “What’s the worst that could happen?” and brainstorm ways to handle it. Talking through worries reduces anxiety, and it’s a go-to technique used by therapists.

Encourage a relaxed mindset with reminders like, “You know more than you think. Start with what you know and go from there.” These simple steps can help anxious thoughts settle.

What are the best anxiety coping skills for teens struggling academically?

Break big tasks into smaller steps, model resilience, and help your teen prioritize. When school stress spikes, these tools make life feel manageable.

• Split assignments into steps. Set mini-deadlines for larger assignments: outline by Tuesday, draft by Thursday, finish by Friday. Small wins build confidence and teach your teen how to handle stress.
• Normalize failure. Share a story of a time you struggled and bounced back. Learning from mistakes is part of growth.
• Prioritize wisely. Help your teen focus on what matters most and let the rest be “good enough.”

These strategies are practical ways to help your teen and can guide you in how to help a child with anxiety about school.

2. Social Anxiety School Stress

Social anxiety shows up as avoiding group hangouts, constantly worrying about what peers think, or obsessive phone-checking. Social anxiety is often about the fear of being judged, rejected, or embarrassed. And for socially anxious teens, the effort to appear “OK” all day at school leaves them emotionally spent.

What can you say when your teen is stressed about friendships?

Start with empathy, validate feelings, and give your teen choices in how to respond. Feeling heard and safe is what matters most. Try saying: “It sounds like that conversation really upset you. Do you want to talk about it, or take some space first?”

Avoid minimizing your teen’s feelings with phrases like, “You won’t even remember this in a few years.” Instead, empower your teen with questions like, “What could make things better next time?” or “How would you like to handle it?” Validation coupled with choice helps your teen process social stress without feeling judged or pressured.

What helps teens build social confidence?

Encourage your teen to take low-stakes social risks like joining a club, initiating a study group, or inviting a friend to grab food after school. And help your teen manage online spaces that impact their self-esteem.

Research shows passive scrolling and online comparison increase anxiety in teens. So, encourage your teen to curate her feed by asking: “Which accounts make you feel worse about yourself? What would happen if you unfollowed them for a week?”

3. Performance Anxiety School Stress

Performance anxiety happens when the fear of being judged takes over, whether your teen is giving a presentation, competing in a game, or performing in a play. Signs could include wanting to quit activities she once loved, practicing obsessively, or experiencing panic attacks.

What can you say to ease performance pressure?

Balance encouragement with reality, and normalize nerves. Try saying, “You’ve put in the work. You’re ready. If something unexpected happens, you’ll handle it.” That’s more reassuring than blanket statements like “You’ll do great,” which can add pressure to be perfect. Remind your teen, “Even professionals get pre-performance jitters.”

What are good coping skills for performance anxiety in teens?

Use visualization to rehearse success, practice strategically without overdoing it, and try breathing techniques.

Try these strategies together:

• Visualization: Spend time picturing nailing that presentation or catching the pop fly. Rehearsing success eases stress.
• Preparation in Moderation: Practicing more isn’t always best. When stress starts to escalate, take a break.
• Breathing Techniques: Box breathing calms the nervous system. Breathe in for four counts, hold for four, breathe out for four, and hold for four (and repeat).

When should you seek professional help for teen anxiety?

Seek help if your teen’s anxiety interferes with daily functioning, causes persistent physical symptoms, includes thoughts of self-harm, or doesn’t improve with your support. Knowing how to help a child with anxiety about school includes realizing when you need to point your teen toward professional help.

What’s one strategy that’s worked for you in helping a child with anxiety about school? Share your tips and experiences below so other moms can benefit too!

The post 3 Kinds of Teen Stress (and How to Help Your Teen Handle Each) appeared first on iMOM.

As moms, we know our kids learn best when they’re excited about what they’re doing. Whether they’re really into playing Minecraft, climbing trees, or collecting Squishmallows, their passions can become go-to tools for learning through play. Here are 5 simple ways to sneak learning into what your child already loves to do.

1. Extend screen time into story time.

My daughter’s love of cars started with the movie Cars (and plenty of repeat viewings during family nights). Instead of worrying about screen time, I used her movie obsession to spark reading. Your child’s favorite show or game can do the same.

If your kid is obsessed with Minecraft, give him a book about architecture, coding, or geology (might as well learn about diamond mining for real!). If your little one is into Bluey, Peppa Pig, or Curious George, look for stories about friendship, family, or kindness (or books featuring those characters). Connecting what kids watch to what they read builds a bridge between entertainment and learning that they won’t even notice they’ve crossed.

Your local librarian can help you find the perfect fit. Or, if you live in Florida, check out the New Worlds Reading Initiative. This free at-home literacy program sends books matched to your child’s interests, so every delivery feels handpicked.

Try this: Learning through play can be as simple as keeping a few themed books near the TV or tablet. After a show ends, say, “Hey, I found a book about that!” Or, visit the library together and let your child choose stories that match his favorite screen adventures.

2. Let your child teach you about her obsession.

When our kids are into something, we can sneak in a little learning upgrade by asking our children to teach us what they know. Studies show that when kids get to “be the teacher,” they actually remember more. Researchers call that the protégé effect.

In one study, students who taught someone else spent more time engaged in reading, reviewing, and problem-solving (and learned more) than students who thought they were learning just for themselves. Turns out that when kids teach, they process ideas on a deeper level, and the sense of responsibility keeps them motivated.

Try this: Ask questions that show you’re genuinely curious about learning from him: “What makes an Allosaurus different from the T. rex?” or “Why did the referee call that offside?” You can even let him assign you a little homework, like a video to watch or a book to read. Then come back together and talk about it!

3. Turn your child’s everyday questions into learning moments.

My oldest once asked why her tummy growls when she’s hungry, and before I knew it, we found a kid-friendly app about the body and had a mini-biology lesson on digestion. Young kids are natural question-askers (you know that’s true!), and every “why” or “how” that your child asks is a perfect opportunity to sneak in some learning.

So when your kid asks which Pokémon card is stronger, that’s math practice waiting to happen as she adds up hit points or compares trading values. Or when she asks, “Mom, what kind of leaf is this?” that’s a little science thrown into your walk as you figure out the answer together.

Try this: When your child gets curious, sneak in a little learning through play by wondering out loud with her. Ask questions like, “Where else have you seen something like this?” or “Why do you think it works that way?” Curiosity grows best when you explore the answers together.

4. Let your child’s playtime spill over into projects.

Here’s where things get really fun! Those curious “why” questions can expand into full-blown projects. When kids make something inspired by what they love (and what triggers their curiosity), learning happens. They’re testing ideas, figuring out what works, and learning from what doesn’t. And kids think they’re playing the whole time because they are.

Try this: Encourage your child to level up her interest. If your child’s obsessed with building LEGO castles, encourage her to create a “tour guide” video for her creation. If your little chef loves pretend cooking, find a simple kids cookbook and make a real recipe together. Or your gamer can design a board game with rules and scorecards.

5. Find books that don’t feel like “books.”

Some kids find comic books, podcasts, and audiobooks more appealing than traditional books. But those sneak in real literacy skills too. Graphic novels help kids build vocabulary and comprehension by pairing images with text in ways that make words stick. Audiobooks spark interest in reading for nearly 40% of kids who listen to them, especially for struggling readers.

Programs like New Worlds Reading make this easy by offering interest-based books in multiple formats, including graphic novel–style stories that hook even the most reluctant readers.

Try this: Check out audiobooks from your local library and use them on road trips or for quiet after-school time. Or find a podcast you can both listen to together in the car. My kids loved listening to the podcast series The Unexplained Disappearance of Mars Patel.

How do you sneak learning into playtime using what your child already loves?

The post 5 Ways to Sneak Learning Into Your Kid’s Favorite Things appeared first on iMOM.

But research shows many things we stress over during these years don’t really matter for our kids’ long-term well-being. And letting go of some of them can make us more emotionally available for what matters more. If you’re feeling overwhelmed as a mom, here are 5 pressures you can release.

1. Sitting Beside Your Child for Every Homework Assignment

It’s tempting to sit with your child every night, checking answers, organizing folders, and keeping homework on track. That’s what we “should” be doing if we want them to do well, right?! (And, Mom, it feels so good to be needed by our not-so-little kids anymore.)

But kids who develop independent homework habits in elementary school build stronger skills in planning, focus, and self-regulation. A study published in Child Neuropsychology found that kids who relied too heavily on parent help in elementary school struggled more in 6th grade, when that support wasn’t there. So, if we’re always sitting beside our kids, managing their workload, we’re not letting them build up the practice (and confidence) needed to be more independent.

What Really Matters: Give your child structure and support without hovering. Set a regular homework time and spot away from screens, then step back. You might say, “I’ll check back in 10 minutes to see how it’s going.” This gives your child space to work through challenges while knowing you’re nearby if needed.

2. Fixing Every Friendship Drama

With playground alliances and lunchroom drama, school friendships can feel like a reality show. Young kids are still learning about friendships, so relationships often get messy. And when your child gets off the bus upset because of a squabble over the swings at recess, the urge to fix it can be automatic. Maybe you think you “should” text the other mom, arrange a playdate to smooth things over, or email the teacher.

But kids who learn to handle conflicts on their own develop stronger emotional regulation and social skills. Long-term studies have found that children who build social competence early tend to have fewer problems with friendships later on. Stepping in to rescue them robs them of the real-world practice they need to grow.

What Really Matters: Start by validating your child’s feelings. “That sounds really hurtful” goes a long way. Then coach your child through what to do next: “What could you say to your friend tomorrow?” or “What do you want to be different next time?” You’re teaching your child to advocate for herself and showing her she can handle hard things.

3. Signing Your Child Up for Everything

Tennis, piano, chess club, robotics club, language lessons, Awanas, oh, and swim lessons. It’s easy to feel like we should sign our kids up for everything to stay “on track.” I mean, shouldn’t we give our kids every opportunity we can?

But, guess what? Overscheduling our kids doesn’t make them smarter. Studies show that kids who are packed with homework and extracurriculars often end up more stressed and anxious, particularly by the time they reach high school. And they aren’t actually seeing a significant academic boost.

What Really Matters: Your child needs downtime for free play (inside and outside), unhurried moments with you, and, yes, time just to sit around heavily sighing, “I’m bored.”  Those quiet, unplanned hours encourage creativity, problem-solving, and independence. And, Mom, this gives YOU breathing space when you’re feeling overwhelmed and guards your heart from burnout.

4. Policing Every Snack and Screen

For three weeks straight, Ellery would only eat dinosaur-shaped chicken “nuggies” with ranch and Nutella sandwiches. That’s it. I tried. I really tried. I knew she should be eating other things, just like I knew I shouldn’t say yes to 30 more minutes of Minecraft with her sister. (I did.) Cue the mom guilt.

It makes logical sense that we should control every bite and every minute of screentime to keep our kids healthy and defend against brain rot. But research shows that when parents restrict access to favorite foods, kids often end up eating more of them.  And, studies show that interactive or educational content supports learning and problem-solving. It’s passive watching that’s linked to the greater issues.

What Really Matters: Focus on moderation with boundaries. Let your child enjoy that non-organic snack, watch an age-appropriate show after school, or play a game while you establish rules, teach digital literacy, and reward good habits.

5. Making Sure Your Child Is Ahead Academically

Of course, we should want our kids to do well in elementary school. Every grade comes with its own unique kind of pressure, though. Kindergarten starts them off well. Third-grade test scores feel like they predict later ACT or SAT scores. And fifth grade? Well, that’s our last big checkpoint before middle school!

But research shows that early academic acceleration in elementary school doesn’t predict long-term success. Kids who are “average” often catch up (or surpass) early high achievers later on. In fact, social-emotional skills such as curiosity, resilience, and effort are usually better predictors of future success in school.

What Really Matters: Encourage a growth mindset, celebrate effort over grades, and nurture curiosity. Let your child explore, make mistakes, and learn at his own pace. (Psst. Your child is a pretty great kid already.)

Letting go of even a few of these “should-be-doing” pressures can make motherhood feel a lot more manageable. And since we all process overwhelm differently, what helps you when you’re feeling overwhelmed as a mom?

The post Things Moms Stress About in Elementary School That Don’t Really Matter appeared first on iMOM.

Today’s kids are growing up believing happiness is just one more purchase away. But contentment isn’t about getting by with less. It’s about appreciating what’s already right in front of us and discovering the joy of experiences. That’s the heart behind raising grateful kids. Here’s how to teach your child to be grateful, understand needs versus wants, and experience true contentment.

Why does teaching kids contentment matter so much?

Kids who don’t learn contentment miss out on an important emotional regulation skill: recognizing a feeling without letting it control their actions. Contentment is what helps them pause before grabbing what they want, handle disappointment without melting down, and wait patiently instead of demanding instant gratification.

Without that inner pause, they’re more likely to react to every impulse: I want it, therefore I need it. Teaching contentment early gives kids emotional tools that grow with them, from playground setbacks to workplace stress decades later.

How can I help my kids feel grateful for what they have?

We’re raising kids in a culture that equates happiness with having more stuff. But researchers continue to show that experiences, not possessions, bring longer-lasting joy. One study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that experiences don’t trigger the same comparison trap that toys do. When your kid shows off a new pair of shoes, there’s always a “better” version someone else has. But every experience is one-of-a-kind!

As moms, raising grateful kids means remembering that our kids are always watching us. When they see us getting excited about a family hike instead of a new purchase, and when they hear us say, “I’m so grateful we got to spend the afternoon together,” they absorb what contentment really looks like.

Try these ideas:

1. Wrap up experiences, not just toys.
Instead of defaulting to toys for birthdays or holidays, wrap up experiences. Put movie tickets in a decorated box, give coupons for special mom-and-me time, or write a note promising an outdoor adventure. This teaches your child to value relationships over things.

2. Share From Me to You conversations.
My mom did this with us growing up. In a special notebook, she’d write questions like “What are you grateful for today?” We’d write our answer and pass it back in the morning. Try it! Encourage your kids to include why something makes them happy too: “I’m grateful for our cozy living room because it’s where we snuggle and read stories.”

How do I teach my child the difference between needs and wants?

When we teach our kids to pause before getting what they want, we’re giving them the gift of anticipation. Waiting becomes part of the reward. At the heart of this is delayed gratification. Stanford’s famous marshmallow experiment showed that kids who could wait for two marshmallows later scored 210 points higher on their SATs and had 32% lower obesity rates as adults. Those kids believed that good things were worth waiting for.

Try these ideas:

1. The “Need or Want” Shopping Game
Before heading to the store, establish the rule together: Every request gets categorized as either a “need” or a “want.” Needs keep us healthy, safe, and comfortable. Wants are fun extras. When your child asks for something, don’t immediately say no. Ask her to categorize it first.

2. The 3-Day Rule
When your child wants something but doesn’t need it, write it down together and agree to revisit it in three days. This builds patience and helps your child realize how fleeting most wants are. If your child still wants it, talk about saving up or waiting for a special occasion.

3. The Earn and Save System
Through age-appropriate chores, create ways for your child to earn money and save up for those wants. This combines delayed gratification with understanding the value of money and work.

What’s the best way to teach kids about giving?

Confession time: I used to bag up old toys when my kids weren’t looking. Easy! But then I read a research study from the University of Oregon that made me realize my kids were missing out on the experience of giving. The research found that people who voluntarily participate in giving activities develop stronger connections in the parts of their brain associated with happiness. Generous behavior lights up the same reward centers in our brains as receiving gifts. Giving actually feels good.

So how do we help our kids experience that?

1. The Monthly Donation Box

Once a month, fill a box together with items to donate. Let your kids choose their own things to give away, including toys they still like but don’t play with often. I tell my boys, “Remember how excited you were when you got this? Let’s give another kid that same happy feeling.”

2. Care Bags and Service Projects

Keep small bags in your car filled with snacks, socks, and toiletries for people who need help. Or choose age-appropriate service projects like visiting a nursing home or helping a neighbor with yard work. When my boys see the direct impact of their generosity, giving becomes a natural part of who they are.

Raising grateful kids shapes hearts to see joy in simple moments and appreciate what they already have. We’re teaching our children that contentment doesn’t come from having more, but from loving the people in our lives well.

What’s one small way you’re focusing on raising grateful kids in your home this week?

The post Contentment or Consumption: How Can Parents Raise Grateful Kids in a Material World? appeared first on iMOM.

That philosophy of joy has served me well in motherhood. Some days, all I can do is laugh because Reese and Jack have taught me that no amount of preparation can prevent the unpredictable chaos of raising two kids (and a puppy!). Some of my most memorable ESPN moments have been spontaneous and unplanned. The same is true at home. Here are 5 times motherhood reminds me that learning how to enjoy parenting more starts by not taking myself too seriously.

1. When the Game Plan Falls Apart

At ESPN, I walk into every broadcast ready for almost anything. I learned that if you’re as prepared as you can be, you’re going to have a leg up. Naturally, I thought I’d bring that same preparation to motherhood. I have our morning game plan mapped out perfectly. But kids don’t follow scripts. Reese intercepted my timeline when she decided she absolutely had to change into her sparkle cape for school, and Jack called an audible when he decided he wanted to try using the potty. Did my game plan include a potty training cheer? No. But it turned into my favorite part of the day.

As moms, we spend so much energy trying to control every detail. But our kids have their own priorities (like whether a cape is appropriate school attire). Flexibility and humor are far more valuable than any perfectly executed plan. When we loosen our grip on how things “should” go, the unplanned moments often become the best ones.

2. When Your Kid Becomes Your Most Honest Critic

Reese has no filter, and honestly, I love that about her. She’s vocal and confident, which means she tells me exactly what she thinks. One morning, after I’d worked on my hair, she asked, “Is it supposed to look like that?” All I could do was laugh. She wasn’t trying to roast me. She genuinely wanted to know if that was the look I was going for.

Our kids notice everything. They see when we say we’re “almost ready,” but clearly aren’t. They catch the faces we make when we’re frustrated or annoyed. But I’ve learned that when my daughter sees right through my “put-together” attempt and calls it out, I can laugh and show her that moms don’t have to be perfect. It makes motherhood a whole lot more fun.

3. When Your Pre-Mom Identity Meets Your Mom One

Before kids, I’d show up to the ESPN set prepared and camera-ready. Then I became a mom, and those two worlds started colliding, teaching me a lot about how to enjoy parenting more by letting the real, unpolished moments shine. I’ve prepped for broadcasts at home while wiping Jack’s biscuit crumbs off my pants and while cleaning up puppy pee. I’ve rushed out the door with Reese’s toy microphone in my hand instead of my keys. The “put-together Laura” and the “mom Laura” merge in the most hilarious ways.

Trying to keep “work me” and “mom me” perfectly separate is exhausting. I don’t have the energy for that, and you probably don’t either. So instead, I just laugh when the two worlds crash into each other. Life’s a lot more joyful when we do.

4. When Your Kid Gets Silly in Public

In our family, we all love an impromptu dance party. But Reese doesn’t stop dancing when we leave the house. That girl dances everywhere. Recently, we were at the airport and she started dancing by our gate. I joined right in the twirling and giggling, just like at home. Did people stare? Absolutely. Did I care? Not even a little because the look on my daughter’s face was worth way more than looking cool.

Our kids won’t remember if we looked composed in public. They’ll remember that we said yes to the silly moment. It’s one of the best lessons on how to enjoy parenting more: choosing connection with our kids over what strangers might think.

5. When Your Kid Outsmarts You

I spend my days at ESPN breaking down football plays and analyzing coaching strategies. So, I thought I’d be pretty good at staying one step ahead of my kids. I was wrong. Just recently, Josh and I found ourselves crying-laughing after putting Reese to bed. We looked at each other and both asked, “Why were we doing everything she told us to?” Somehow, our daughter had completely taken over bedtime, orchestrating the entire routine on her terms. This child cracks me up. What a joy it is to call her ours.

Our kids figure us out fast. They’re always watching, learning our patterns, and testing what they can get away with. And in those moments, when we realize they’ve been three steps ahead of us the whole time? That’s when we can laugh because being outsmarted by someone who can’t reach the top shelf yet is actually pretty hilarious.

Have you discovered any unexpected ways to enjoy parenting more with your kids? I’d love to hear what works for you!

The post Laura Rutledge: Learning to Laugh Through Motherhood appeared first on iMOM.

Screen time isn’t the enemy, but it’s not neutral either. Even shows or channels (or games) that we deem safe are quietly teaching our kids how to talk, how to act, and even how to see themselves. And some of those lessons about identity we’d never choose for them. Here are 5 screen time effects that subtly shape your child, and what to focus on shaping instead.

1. Comparison culture is always playing in the background.

Young kids are natural observers, so as they spend time on screens, their expectations of what’s “normal” are being shaped. Even shows that seem harmless slip in messages about how life should look, whether it’s kids’ movies with perfect families and grand adventures, YouTube channels with toy-store-like bedrooms, or characters with flawless appearances. When kids’ lives don’t match what they see on screen, they can’t help but compare, and their reality starts to feel like it’s missing something.

Shape this instead: Help your child see his life as the interesting, worthy story it already is. Point out the joy in everyday moments, such as how good the house smells when you’re baking cookies together, how much fun it is to sing in the car, or how cozy it feels when everyone’s reading in the same room. Teaching gratitude protects against comparison.

2. Screens script the behavior your child copies.

Even “harmless” shows sneak in lessons you don’t want your kids absorbing. Characters who roll their eyes at parents, treat siblings like enemies, or default to sarcasm might feel funny to TV writers, but they clash with the respect and kindness you’re trying to build at home. And since kids are natural mimics, screen time effects show up quickly when those scripted lines wind up in real life. (Hello, F-word.)

Shape this instead: When your child mimics something you don’t love, gently redirect by saying something like, “In our family, we share our toys, not snatch them away,” or “We use kind words in our family, even when we disagree.” And point out behavior you do want your child to repeat, like saying “thank you” or cheering for a sibling at a Saturday morning soccer game.

3. Repeated exposure gradually shifts what feels normal (and OK).

Content that technically qualifies as “kid-friendly” often sticks in casual put-downs, mild violence, or language that makes you wince (like it did me!). The more kids see this stuff, the more acceptable it becomes to them. A study in the Journal of Adolescence shows that children who repeatedly watch aggressive behavior become less sensitive to it. And that character who always refers to her siblings as “twerps?” The show where hurting someone is “funny”? These behaviors (and language) begin to seem okay to repeat.

Shape this instead: Help your child grow in empathy by occasionally asking, “How do you think that character felt when that happened?” or “Would that be okay if it happened to you?” These little check-ins also teach your child digital literacy by leading her to think critically about what she’s watching.

4. Screen time shapes your child’s identity.

Kids imitate people they admire. And, besides their parents, screens often provide some of their most consistent “mentors.” They start to imagine themselves in those roles. Screens subtly influence their identity, teaching them what it means to be cool, brave, or funny (or even a girl or boy). That YouTube creator’s swagger becomes how they think they should act. The Disney princess who gets her way through pouting or disobeying a parent? Your child starts believing that’s how girls solve problems.

Shape this instead: Point your child to real-life heroes worth copying. When your child gushes about a character, ask, “What do you like about them?” Then connect the dots to someone she knows. “You know who’s just as brave? Officer Joey, who keeps you safe at school.”

5. Fast-paced content shortens attention spans.

The sound effects and nonstop action of kids’ screen time definitely keep their attention, but they also train their brains to crave constant stimulation. The rapid-fire content literally rewires how their brains process information and regulate attention. Their brains become adjusted to expect that faster pace, so real life can feel painfully slow (and, yawn, boring) by comparison.

Shape this instead: Grow your child’s attention span with slower-paced downtime. Finger painting, building with LEGO or blocks, or simply talking together on the front step while eating a popsicle, helps your child’s nervous system remember that interesting things happen at a gentler pace too.

Screens aren’t going away. So what matters most is that we stay intentional about shaping the voices, values, and role models that influence our kids. Which screen time effects do you worry about most as a parent?

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