imooredb

An Unbelievable Waste

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 21:05:00 +0000

M. Night Shyamalan. What can I say about him eh? I'll tell you what I can say about him: He's a cock. Sixth Sense? Shite. Rumbled it after 30 minutes. "Ooh, sensational narative use of colour!!!". Bollocks. Kid's stuff. Signs? Don't make me laugh. Wank. The Village? Embarassing. Lady in the Water? The most self-indulgent waste of 90 minutes it's ever been my misfortune to sit through. A comprehensive analysis I feel you'll agree.

As with all rules though, there is an exception. The rule that Mr. Shyamalan only makes shite films is not the only rule to which today's subject is an exception. The rule that Samuel L Jackson is a mercenary cunt who'll appear in any old wank as long as he gets paid is flouted here also. It probably says something about Bruce Willis too, although quite what I'm not sure. I'm a bit of a Brucie fan to be honest.

I am, of course, whittering on about Unbreakable. I'm pretty surprised at how few people I talk to have seen this. I'm even more surprised at how few of the people who have seen it rate it. Well, you're all idiots.

To give a bit of background to a 5 year old movie: The Sixth Sense broke Mr. shyamalan onto the mainstream scene, and was a rock solid hit. People thought they'd never seen anything like it, and the "twist in the tale" ending amazed an audience who had largely never bothered to watch a Hitchcock movie, and therefore thought this was some new invention. Whatever the merits of that film, it gave Shyamalan, as writer and director, carte clanche to make whatever the hell he liked next. Much to my personal surprise, Unbreakable is what he came up with. If this is what Shyamalan can produce when the pressure's off and people just chuck money at him, I should be at the front of th queue pelting him with fivers.

The synopsis: A comics fan (Jackson) with crippling osteoporosis tracks down a security guard (Willis) he believes is his polar opposite. Where Jackson's character's bones break with the slightest impact, he believes Willis's character cannot be hurt or fall ill. Willis initially derides him as insane, pointing to the car accident that ended his professional football career as evidence to the contary. However, it emerges that Willis faked his injuries after the crash to get out of playing football to salvage his relationship with his then girlfirend, now wife and mother of his child. Willis slowly comes to believe Jackson's outrageous claims, and falls under the spell of Jackson's pleas for him to become the hero to the weak that Jackson has always read about in his comics.

Quite frankl, it sounds ludicrous, but it works. It works amazingly well. Regular readers will know what a comic book and super-hero movie fan I am, and in some ways this is the best super-hero movie ever made. The holy grail for a comics fan is a realistic super-hero story. This is, of course, an inherant contradiction there. However, this movie moves so close to the dividing line betwen the every day and the fantastic that with a small suspension of disbelief you can really believe in the amazing things Willis's character discovers about himself. There is a particularly affecting scene where Willis enlists the help of his previously alienated son to test the amount he can bench-press. It never goes beyond the realms of the mundane (there is no throwing of cars or leaping tall buildings) but the father and son's mutual amazement as they search their basement for more weight to add to the dumb-bell is a joy to watch.

Shyamalan also coaxes great performances out of two traditionally hit and miss leads. Jackson is bitter, brooding, depressed, but also charmingly hopefull in his belief that there must be someone stronger, better, faster than himself. Willis is convincingly bemused. Haunted by a decision he made for the good of his family years ago, he now struggles to look at them without remembering what he gave up many years ago. while reluctant to believe what Jackson would have him believe about himself, he warms to the idea as a chance to make up for glories missed, and to let go of the bitterness that poisons his relationships with those closest to him.

Visually the film is also a treat. Shades of grey follow Willis's mood perfectly throughout the film, and Shyamalan's much touted use of colour doesn't seem as obvious and grating here. The scene at Grand Central Station is a particularly striking example of this. Never is the potential to sensationalise given in to. One of the climatic scenes, with Willis's character taking up his role as a crime fighter and defender of the helpless is beautifully low key. There is no mask or cape for Willis, merely a grey raincoat with the reassuring type "SECURITY" across the back.

Of course, there is the obligatory Shyamalan attempt at a twist at the end, but it'l largely unimportant, and it wouldn't make alot of difference to your enjoyment of the film if you turned it off five minutes before the end and missed it altogether. It's not a key plot point, and doesn't suddenly throw everything into focus like the twists in The Village and Sixth Sense were supposed to.

This is a great glimpse of a fantastic writing and directing talent, backed up by some excellent performances from Hollywood heavyweights on top form. Unbreakable is of course available on DVD from just about anywhere, and also available in about 2-3 hours with a decent broadband connection. Get it on your list, and don't forget to leave some comments if you've seen it already or you watch it as a result of this post. I'm always interested to ignore what you think.

The Slowest top Ten Ever

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Wed, 27 Sep 2006 21:00:00 +0000

Right pop pickers, while you're still gasping for breath after the non-stop bombardment of posts in this series, I'll leave you reeling with another one. The gap is principally due to Fresher's week at work, which is a horribly busy time full of loud-mouthed cunts from Coventry throwing up on my carpets. As you can imagine, this pleases me no end. Anyway, the other reason for the gap is that this is actually really hard to do. I went for this top ten because I thought it would be pretty easy to pick what to put in, but I was wrong. Anyhow after much wrangling I've got about eight of them in my head, so I can get on with it. which I shall do forthwith. Infact 90% of people will read that before they read this, so I've just wasted five minutes. HURRAH.

Tie a Yellow Ribbon...

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 01:43:00 +0000

I'm sure I'm preaching to the converted here, but this is one of the greatest films ever made. I watched it again recently, and yes it seems pretty weak and less cutting than it did on my first viewing. Mind you, that was 15 years ago now. Some of it still hits the spot perfectly. The ID check on a hopeful Steve Guttenburg is almost prescient. The B movie send-ups never tire. And the cast is just phenomenal. Have a look at the cast list on IMDB, and then try and imagine what the modern equivalent would be. I know what the modern equivalent is, and it's Ocean's 11/12/13/14/15, which is a great shame. This is the last breath of Hollywood's sense of humour, and should be preserved as such.

If you have never seen this film, do so immediately. It might seem very dated, but come on, everyone knows someone that makes you want to donate to "Black men Without Soul".

You can grab "Amazon Women on the Moon" off Amazon easily enough. It's not so easy to get through other channels, but if you really need to see it comment or send me an e-mail. Because I read loads of those.

The Top Ten of Top Tens of Top Tens, Ever!

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Mon, 18 Sep 2006 01:29:00 +0000

I've been asked to do a kind of top ten films that everyone should see. I'm loathe to do this at first because these things are notoriously hard to do. If someone asks you to list your top ten albums/films/mass murderers it's almost impossible to do because your taste changes so quickly. I've tried it in the past and my taste has changed before I've got to item no. 7, and I already want to dump item no.2 from the list.

However, I like the idea that it'll give me some focus in the next few weeks so I'm going to do something very slightly different and do a "Top 10 films you might well not have seen but which i quite like". Many of you will have seen most of these. Some of you will have seen all of them. If you have seen all of them, you're officially as sad as me, so well done.

I'm going to kick this off wih a little "top ten" of things that will NOT appear in this top 10, just so you don't keep hanging around for your favourite to turn up.

1. Anything to do with Star Wars
2. Anything to do with Back to the Future
3. Anything to do with Superman
4. Donnie Darko
5. Anything directed by Tim Burton
6. Anything to do with Indiana jones
7. Anything to do with The Godfather
8. Anything directed by Stanley Cubrick
9. Ghostbusters
10. Busty Brenda's Bollock Bonanza

Ok. Now we have some ground rules. Let's go.

You are what you Watch.

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Wed, 13 Sep 2006 20:04:00 +0000

Which I guess makes me a fetid pile of faeces. That's at least how I feel after a rare bit of primetime viewing on channel 4. I've never seen "You are what you Eat" before, and the name Gillian McKeith wasa new one to me. I was fully expecting some well nourished, smug woman harranguing crying overweight girls about giving up chips. Well,that was almost delivered. What I didn't expect was some haggard old hunchback sitting with the overweight girl in the bathroom, ramming her own shit in her face and shrieking "you see how fatty that is!? Do you see!? CAN YOU SMELL IT!?". I think even in the name of self improvement that joint poo-examining is a new level of...well...shit. I think that's what I'm going to take away fom this experience, and what many others will too. Not the dietary and exercise advice, which let's face it everyone knows by now anyway, unless they've been living in the Fatcave with Blobbin. Not the recipies, which i must say looked uniformly pretty tasty. None of that, just the haggard old hunchback ramming poo in the fat girls face. Cheers channel 4.

Break dancing on the ceiling

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 22:56:00 +0000

So, what's been going on in TV land over the last two weeks. the answer is, of course, not a right lot. During the close season I watch virtually no TV at all. I have detected a bit of a theme to what I have seen though, and it worries me slightly.

Oceans of TV analysis has already been devoted to the shared Channel 4/Channel 5 phenomenon of the medical shock show. You know the ones, "The Man/Boy/Woman/Girl/Dog who's arms/legs/breasts/stomach/spleen exploded/fell off/turned green/" etc etc etc. I'd been blissfully unaware of these shows until the last couple of weeks, but have now been fortunate enough to catch a few. As with all unscientific studies, results vary. Firstly, on a rare night in at home, my flatmate and I sat down with great excitement to watch Cheel 4's "The Man who's Arms Exploded". We like things that explode you see. Particularly things that aren't really supposed to, such as arms. Imagine our disappointment then to end up watching an hour long lecture on the dangers of taking steroids. Guess what folks? Taking drugs to boost your muscalature can fuck you up. This was news to us, as the steroids went straight in the bin. The eponymous man was obviously very fucked up, and yes, had problems with his exceedingly large arms. However, did they explode? Did they fuck. They bled a bit, he had an operation, and now has a bit of a scar. I call foul Channel 4. the trades descriptions act should apply to TV programmes. I feel robbed, and I want my hour back. I can only imagine how I might feel if I'd watched 10,000 hours of Big Brother and then realised it was utter wank.

Having careened down the trough of medical reality TV, I was fairly surprised to find myself a few days ago unexpectedly riding a crest. By complete accident I ended up watching "Too Ugly for Love" on BBC3. I'd expected it to be a documentary featuring a good number of my friends, but it was actually about something called "Body Dismorphia". The poor unfortunates with this condition are utterly convinced they are physically hideous to the point where they become recluses, and can't look at themselves in a mirror. One chap, who is certainly no uglier than, for example, you, had been wearing opaque sunglasses for years under the false belief he had massive bags under his eyes. Another featured spacker was a girl who was so convinced her teeth were ugly that she'd filed them down to stumps at the age of 14. As we looked on, she made preparations for her 7th nose job (on a proboscis with which there was little wrong to begin with). Every medical professional she consulted told her she ran the risk of fucking up her nose for good, but so convinced was she that this could finally turn her life around ahe determined to plow on regardless. The making of the show was the disbelief of the documentary maker. He echoed the feelings of the viewer perfectly, astounded at the completely deluded self image of the sufferers, but attempting sympathy while clearly resisting the urge to shake them very hard. I don't think I'd have been as restrained. The solution would clearly be to take them to any student club in the country and show hem what really ugly people look like. Still, I found myself fairly drawn into the featured individuals stories, and my usually unsympathetic air disolved in a sense of genuine tragedy at lives wasted for no good reason other than a lack of good available treatment for this bizarre condition.

Away from the UK medical documentary scene, the shining light of my last two weeks has been the continuing second season of Prison Break. The promise of the season premier has been spectacularly fulfilled, and episodes two and three have taken the series to previously uncharted heights. I mock myself now for complaining how the format would never work outside the walls of Fox River. In the outside world the writer's penchant for ludicrous contrivances and unbelieveable conincidence is allowed to develop unfettered. Any situation the characters find themselves in, the writers can simply reverse engineer a solution by inventing something Michael did before he got himself locked up. Being followed closely by the FBI? No problem. Just blow up your car with some raw animal meat in it to make it look like you're dead. Of course, the meat was stashed in the spare wheel compartment and the radio rigged as a timed explosive device at least six months ago. As predicted, Bellech is now out on his own, pissed up to fuck and hunting down the brothers on his own revenge mission. This is genius escapist television. It gets better every minute, and I never want it to stop.

STOP PRESS: KUTCHER NOT WASTE OF ATOMS.

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 21:50:00 +0000

No, I didn't quite believe it either. If ever I was totally convinced that someone brought nothing but yet more carbon dioxide to the human race it was this muppet mouthed tit. Apart from slurping up Bruce willis's sloppy seconds and swinging on Demi's bingo wings, his "career" seem to consist of annoying the piss out of other "celebrities" on TV. I've never actually seen this though, as that kind of show gets switched off faster than the BBC 3 "news".

Imagine my surprise then when, half way through The Butterfly Effect, I was not only still watching it but rather enjoying it. Of course, it was mostly to do with the rest of the cast, the fairly original story, the dark tone of it, and the fact you get to see Kutcher as a cripple that made it for me. BUT! He didn't ruin it. He easily could have done, if he'd brought his dopey slacker act and irritating shit-eating grin to every scene. he did it a few times, and it made me grind my teeth slightly, but it was always over before it got bad enough for me to reach for the remote.

This film never made much impact, either here or in the states as far I'm aware, and it's faily hard to see why. Kutcher surely appeals to some kind of young demographic, or he'd have been yanked off US telly years ago regardless of who he was boffing. You might get a part in a movie off the back of who you're shagging, but cut-throat US TV is a different story. That in mind, the fact the film has a pacey story and an engaging young cast (with particular credit going to Amy Smart) would have led me to believe this would have been a winner. Mind you, in a world where Finding Nemo takes more cash than Superman returns and The Fountain gets booed at the Venice film festival I'm clearly so far out of touch as to not want to be placing any cash bets on such things. The Butterfly Effect is ancient now, and therefore available on the "5 for £25" deal at Blockbuster and similar, as well as the usual sources.

Other things I've seen recently have been pretty uniformly wank. Snakes on a Plane is so breathtakingly bad I'm not even going to dignify it with a review. The internet seems divided on the subject, but internet is bunk. Wank on a Plane is in cinemas now. You're better off getting a shitty cam version from the usual sources though, as one CGI snake looks much the same as the next, and you won't be missing anything during the dark bits. Everyone who feted this film so much in the run-up to its release should take a good look at themselves, and learn the lesson that it is never wise to make all your assumptions about how good a film will be based purely on the title and how excited Samuel L Jackson is about it. The man has been in about 18,000 films, and despite being occasionally one of movieland's best lead male actors, is also undoubtably the biggest whore in the business. Don't pay money to see this, ever.Wank on a Plane is in cinemas now. You're better off getting a shitty cam version from the usual sources though, as one CGI snake looks much the same as the next, and you won't be missing anything during the dark bits.

The only other recommendation I can come up with this week is another fairly old flick, but one that alot of people seem to have missed. Primer is a belting low-key sci-fi thriller, of the rare cerebral type that doesn't come along too often. Think Pi in colour without the Aronofsky weirdities and you might be half-way there. Actually, that's a terrible description, but the best one I could think of in the last 9 seconds. It's a time travel paradox headfuck, so don't watch it when you're tired or have a short attention span, and expect to watch the second half at least twice to be sure exactly what's just happened. I won't give it the full treatment, but it's very highly recommended, so go to it. Out on DVD and from usual sources.

And now, trailers. Clicky away. Nothing that looks shit, promise.

1.
2.
3.
4.

Shoddiness Creeping

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 21:46:00 +0000

No, it's not the new Wes Craven film, it's me and my 2 weeks of no updates. Tragic I know. Hopefully I'll be back on the ball now, although I'm making no promises. Plenty has been happening while I've been playing Civ 4, drinking beer, going to work, and seeing the Mrs in sunny Bradford, so there'll probably be a veritable spurt of posts in the next hour or so now that I'm in to it and sod ll else for a week afterwards. Let's try some logical structure for once, and go films, telly, comics, possibly even in that order.

Ho!

YouTube, I tube, wel all tube for...something or other...

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 21:02:00 +0000

Well, the penny's finally dropped at Moore towers. Several of my internet friends have been doing nothing but watching YouTube videos for months. I've looked at links people have sent me and chuckled, but I've never really seen what all the fuss is about. Now however you can count me amongst the converted. Search for any show or film you can think of, just about, and hey presto, 3 minute clips of the best bits neatly arrnged for you. I spent a good hour doing a kind of Scrubs "Greatest Hits" and bloody good fun it was too. Quite often you'll find whole episodes split up into 3 or more files. While this is good, and reminds me a bit of the late, lamented CraftyTV.com, it suffers the same drawbacks as crafty did. The quality is invariably a bit shoddy. There's no fullscreen option, and vitally no "always on top" windowed mode. Any video longer than 3 minutes is useless if you can't hover it somewhere on the page and get on with something else at the same time. I've been tempted to embed a few choice clips in this journal today, but I can't change the width they appear at, and it fucks up my template, so that will have to wait until I con one of my clever friends into making this page look pretty.

This whole business brings me on to a topic I've been trying to avoid for a while, that of Fan Films. I watch quite alot of these, just because I feel I should, and your first instinct would be right, 99% of them are fucking terrible. Usually people who have the time and inclination to put the necessary amount of effort into producing these things are the saddest, saddest people on the top of a very big pile of very sad people. And, of course, 90% of the medium is made up of Star Trek and Dr. Who tributes.

Let's just take a whole new paragraph to make it clear that Dr. Who is shit. It's always been shit, and always will be shit. It's shit because the premise is that because the writing and acting are so great it doesn't matter that the production values and special effects are terrible. And, of course, that it's scary. WRONG. It's embarrassing. Everything about it screams "CHEAP!" and it makes me ashamed to be British.

Anyway, there are some rare exceptions to the fan film rule. As Paul Calf once said, inside every bag of shite there's a Crunchy wrapper. There's some links here of stuff that's actually not bad. Some of them actually made me laugh quite alot, and one or two, while not actually good, are impressive just for the time and energy put in to produce half decent production values on a zero budget. Where possible I've linked to a version on YouTube, but some of them are too long for that so they're hosted on iFilm, which carries adverts. Sorry about that, but hey.

Losing Lois Lane is what started my quest to find half decent fan pics in the first place. It's well acted, and very, very funny in places. Helps to have a bit of DC character knowledge, but not essential. This is the one I really think you should bother watching. I's about 20 minutes though, so if you can't hack it at least try this 3 minute YouTube clip.

Faast Times at Hero High is pretty funny. Again, it's a bit heavy on the in-jokes, but worth 3:30 of anyone's time. Daredevil's cameo appearance creased me up.

This Superman/Batman trailer is not fantastic, but it does make me really wish someone would make this film, so it's a success as a trailer.

Finally for today, Batman: Dead End is probably the pick of the lot. Bat's looks a bit tubby and gay, but then he's supposed to really, and I kind of prefer this to all the black body armour they put him in for feature films. The makers of this have done a great job on a budget of nothing at all.

Hope you enjoy some of these, and yes, I know how sad I am.

Autumn Preview, Part 1b

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 17:32:00 +0000

Back from the bank, let's get on with it shall we?

Next up a personal favourite in the shape of 24. Who will Jack get to torture this time? They've done the president now, so my guess is Kofi Annan and a busload of schoolkids. Since 24 doesn't begin its run until January details are still thin on the ground. They currently seem to be busy repopulating the cast after the mayhem of season 5, but there's little point me telling you who's going to be in it until I know what characters they'll be playing. The info is out there if you're really that interested. What I do know is that the 6th season will start some 12-15 months after season 5 finished. Also, LA is out this time, with most of the action taking place in NYC. Don't expect to see Jack's escape from the clutches of the Chinese, as his flight time back to the US would eat up about half the series. Do expect to see Chloe back, along with Curtis, Bill Buchannan, and also, interestingly, President Logan and his wife, Martha.

So, that's the situation on the big boys so far. I'm never entirely sure what to cover and what people are watching/interested in. If there's a show you really want covered chances are I watch it and have some details to share. Leave any requests in comments and I'll look into it.

Autumn Preview, Part 1.

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Wed, 23 Aug 2006 14:00:00 +0000

Watching Prison Break yesterday has got me all excited about the start of the new season, although it's still 5 weeks away. In celebration of this anticipatory mood, I thought I'd share with you what info I have on the shows that matter. I'll be doing films and new shows in seperate posts, and today I'll be looking at the returning shows that'll be worth watching come September.

Firstly, Smallville. Season five ended strongly, and I expect season 6 to start well, and hopefully last a few episodes before descending into its usual mid-season dross. General info suggests all the lead characters survive their cliffhangers from season 5, and are contracted for the whole season. Many people take that to mean no deaths in season 6, but Jon Scheider was contracted for the whole of last season and was killed off half way through. The full season contract kept him available for flashbacks and ghostly appearances, and we all know how great they were. There're two new seires regulars joining the cast this year. Firstly Justin Hartley
plays billionaire Oliver McQueen. He's a campaigner against corporate injustice, which obviously brings him into conflict with Lex. The comics literate among you will also know Oli McQueen is also Green Arrow. Arrow makes his first apprearance shortly after McQueen, and I'm told he'll involve Clarke in trying to set up a naescent Justice League.This could mean more Aquaman/Flash apprearances in season 6, but no news on that yet. Secondly Aaron Ashmore joins the cast playing Jimmy Olsen, a well known character from the DC Superman universe. He's been mentioned in the show before, and will be a love interest for Chloe. The first episode will see Clark escaping from the Phantom Zone (with a little help from a mystery friend) and doing battle with Zod on earth. The producers have said this will be a "really big" episode. For more bits and bobs visit Kryptonsite, which is in the links on the sidebar here.

Next up, Lost. There's more info and rumours doing the rounds than you can shake Mr. Eko's shitty stick at, so I'll do my best to condense if for you. First of all, if you're a fan of the show you should really check out The Lost Experience. It's a very, very complicated multi-ledia game connected officially to the show that reveals little bits of mythology. Luckily there's no need to actually get involved as that blog posts all the relevant revelations for easy digestion.The first 6 episodes will form a "mini-series" according to the show's Producers. We'll find out what happens to Jack, Kate, and Sawyer in the hands of The Others, and what became of Desmond, Locke and Eko when the hatch went nova. The Others will be the focus of the third season, and we'll find out their origin and motivations. In the first couple of episodes Kate will "make a choice". I assume this to mean between Jack and Sawyer, but that's by no means certain. As The Others take center stage Michael Emerson joins the cast as a season regular playing Henry Gale. Penny will be an important character in season 3 and the relationship between the island and the outside world will be explored as a result. Libby will still feature despite her death on the island, so we assume that'll be in Desmon and Hurley flashbacks. Three rumours persist more than others, and if they're to be believed then amongst other things we'll see an underwater hatch, learn more about the Polar Bear, and learn that the monster and the black smoke are one and the same. The producers have quashed the notion that the black smoke is made of nanobots, and also stated clearly that the word "cloning" will never appear in connection with Lost. Episode one, "A Tale of Two Cities", will follow the captive trio. It'll be Kate-centric, and a 60yo woman and handsome 20yo man have been cast for the flashbacks. Lost returns on the 4th of October.

A bit of light relief now with My Name is Earl and Scrubbs. Nothing much to say about sit-coms, other than they're both back late September and both retain the full cast. I do hear rumour that Scrubs will be doing a musical episode this season, a-la Buffy. In further synchronicity the episode will be Season 6 episode 6, and Buffy's musical episode was also 6/6. Also, Kim, Elizabeth Banks' character, is definitely pregnant, but will only be around for a few episodes. Could be some tragedy in store for J.D.

Oh shit, I've got to go to the bank. Check back tonight for 24.

Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Tue, 22 Aug 2006 09:48:00 +0000

Well, the first of the big hitters is back after the summer break. I'll be the first to admit was very dubious about the prospects of Prison Break going into its second season. I could be heard proclaiming loudly during the first run that there *couldn't* be a second season, as what's the point in "Prison Break" once they're outside the prison. Equally, if they'd not escaped at the end of season one, the whole thing would have got stale. However, looking at how things stand after last night's episode, I'm pleased to report there seems to be a fiar bit for season two to get stuck into.

A quick recap for the hard of remembering; Michael, Lincoln, Jon, C-Note, and Sucre are on the run, directly pursued by an enraged Belleck. T-bag is out on his own, having had his hand rudely amputated by Jon. Tweener and Haywire are also going their own ways. Veronica has located the supposedly dead Terrence Steadman, and confronted him in his remote hideaway. Meanwhile Dr. Tancredi clings to life after an apparent suicide attempt.

The action picks up exactly where season one left us, with Michael and company heading into the woods with a search party hot on their heels. Needless to say they manage to slip away by means of some classic hunter/hunted action that keeps the tension and pace at a reasonable level. The interesting stuff is happening elsewhere though. William Fichtner (Invasion, The West Wing, Pearl Harbour *snigger*) joins the cast as Buck Mahone, a super smart FBI bloodhound. He's convinced the ket to tracking Michael down is to get inside his head, which he begins to do by unravelling the secrets of Michaels tattoo. Obviously this puts him at loggerheads with the bullish Belleck, and no doubt there'll be more fireworks to come from that pairing. Infact, seeing as the introduction of an FBI agent indicates the man hunt will be going inter-state, and Belleck's jurisdiction ends at the state line, don't be surprised to find Belleck goes rogue, chasing Michael down over a personal vendetta.

Veronica's confrontation with Steadman promises to bring the whole affair to a premature conclusion by clearing Lincoln, and she advises him to hand himself in to the authorities. Yeah, that's smart love. He'll get off the murder charge, but escape carries something close to life so not much gain there really.

Also, the good doctor comes round from her drug-induced coma (thanks to dream-flash images of Michael. This is the only really cheesy and poor sequence in the episode) only to find herself under pressure from the FBI to give up info on the escapees.

Finally, we get to see T-Bag out on his own, which despite the reprehensible nature of his character is something every fan of the show has been wanting to see. The show being what it is things are predicatably stupid, and T-Bag forcing a vet at screwdriver-point to reatach his severed hand with no anasthetic is a Prison Break classic.

I won't spoil any more for you as I guess many of you reading this at work won't get a chance to see it until tonight, but safe to say it seems there's some life in the show yet. The format is familiar, ratcheting up the tension to a reasonable pitch before setting up the next episode with a clever final twist. The writing is as tight as ever, with hardly a line wasted. There's plenty been left in the tank for the rest of the run too. Lincoln's son LJ is bound to feature at some point, as are the two cons we've not caught up with yet. There must also be something major in store for the druggie doctor seeing as she's been saved the chop.

The only real gripe with PB is again the scheduling. Fox should really have looked at the figures from last year and given this great breakthrough show its very own slot. Instead, once again it has merely been "loaned" 24's Monday night slot, from which it will be rudely ejected as soon as the annual torture-a-thon kicks off in January. Sort it out Fox, you've a gem on your hands here.

Prison Summer Break

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 18:56:00 +0000

Just a quick note to say I've been in PAris over the weekend, hence the lack of posts. A splendid time had by all. I've popped on to say that summer is officially nearly over. Prison Break season 2 kicks off tonight (Fox, 8/7c) and should be available for the rest of us in the morning from the usual sources. Enjoy it while it lasts. I'm lead to believe there'll be another 3 MONTH break after christmas to let the 24 juggernaut steam through.

*SPOILERS*

30-year-old FBI agent Buck Mahone gives a press conference at the prison about the escapees and makes sure Americans understand that those men are the most wanted criminals in the country. When reviewing intake pictures of the escapees, Mahone is highly interested in Michael's tatoos. Why would a structural engineer get such tatoos? Bellick and Mahone don't see eye to eye as to how they should track down the escapees: Bellick wants to be on the field, Mahone prefers to tap into the public's fear and try to understand the men... Let the competition begin!

Oh my god Sly, no!

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 23:38:00 +0000

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no . You poor man.

Linkspack

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 22:36:00 +0000

Just some links, apropos of nothing inparticular. I feel it's important to break up the swathes of text with silliness.

How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? I don't know, but Reverend Dan provided me with this superb performance by the man Withers. He loves the drummer, but I think the bass player has the right idea.

Two of my favourite things combined. You can't go wrong with that. Gaz usually does, but he didn't when he sent me this.

Finally, just to stay vaguely on topic, watch some trailers. They're invariably better than the film, and these all look like stormingly good films.

1.
2.
3.
4.

Quite frankly, a couple of those make me spuff.

To spoil, or not to spoil?

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 21:58:00 +0000

Over the years I've developed quite a network of non-professionals who keep me well up to date with what's going on in the major TV shows, and some Hollywood productions, some time before the mainstream media gets to hear about it. I probably don't get anything faster than the dedicated fansites, but I bet I get a better spread. I was thinking of doing a weekly column on here keeping readers ahead of the game, but I'm very aware some people *hate* having plots and surprises spoiled for them. So, what do you lot think? A good idea, or should I keep my fat monkey paws in my pocket on that one?

What to watch over the summer, part 4400

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 21:05:00 +0000

I was reminded about The 4400 by a comment on one of my previous posts. It'd been nearly a year since I'd watched any, so I've spent the last couple of days catching up. I was a bit dubious as I'd dismissed it early on as a poor X-Files clone, but I have to say I'm rather pleased I went to the effort. The unlikely story runs thusly:

One sunny day in America (where else?) some clever scientists spot a rather dangerous looking comet on a collision course with earth. Every spends 20 minutes or so running around sweating and firing missiles. We've seen all this before, and we've seen what happens next a few times as well. It turns out not to be a comet at all, but just some odd ball of light that deposits 4400 seemingly normal human beings of all shapes and sizes by a lake near Washington. Again, convenient location. Turns out, each of these people has gone missing in "mysterious circumstances" over the last 60 years. None have aged, although a 6 year old girl taken in 1946 is strictly speaking in her 60's, with family long since dead. Hooray! The first couple of episodes cover this happening, and the usual "what if?" style bumf of government agencies, quarantine etc. There's some quite emotionally impacting stuff featuring people tracking down families that have aged and forgotten about them, but it's pretty predictable stuff and so far, so X-Files. The next development is when several of "The 4400" start developing, yes, you guessed it, eerie powers...

The first episode dealing with this is very disappointing, and by this time the narrative of the show has settled on following a man/woman partnership of quirky government agents assigned to investigate any odd happenings involving the 4400. Astonishingly, the writers seem to be trying to build some sexual tension between them. She's motherly and scientific, and he's a bit maverick. Did I mention it was a bit like the X-Files? Anyway, the series saves itself with the next episode. A slightly retarded "returnee" moves back to his old neighbourhood. He's appalled to find it a crime infested slum (although this guy's only been gone a year, we'll suspend disbelief that his 'hood could turn downhill so quickly on account of this being in America, where everyone eats babies given half a chance). Luckily he appears to have acquired superhuman strength and speed, which he uses to go about cleaning up the town. Quite literally really, his first priority being cleaning up graffiti in the park. While he's at it, he saves a woman from being mugged. Soon the "avenging angel" rumours are circulating and ~~Mulder and Scully~~ Baldwin and Skouris (fucking character names, aaargh!) are on hand to investigate. It's at the end of this story that things get interesting for me. Firstly, in the death of the Avenging Retard the writers show a higher than normal appreciation for irony. The poor fellow is stabbed trying to foil another mugging, as whoever gave him these powers made him fast and strong but neglected to make him invulnerable. Secondly, rather than wrapping him up and moving onto the next thing with little or no pause for thought as is usually the case, these agents are actually asking why these things are happening. There's a very interesting "ripple effect" theory about the people chosen to manifest these powers, which has a good pay-off at the end of season 1, when the crushingly inevitable aliens explanation is also thrown out to the sound of applause from millions (well, probably thousands in its first run) of living rooms. The story arc turns out to be cleverer, and in some way more believable than the X-Files clone conspiracy rubbish ever was. The two leads fail to bone each other, and in fact just seem to drop the idea altogether. Season 2 develops the themes and characters nicely, and for a fantasy show keeps its feet nicely on the ground, focusing on the public reaction to the 4400 and their attempts to first reintegrate with the world, and then defend themselves from it.

It's what I call a creeper too. Not in the way that a song is, where you have to hear it a few times and it grows on you, but in the way it became successful. American Television in case you didn't know is incredibly cut-throat. Shows are cancelled at the first sign of ratings poison, and even the big stars are never on more than a one season contract. Episodes are thus made to very short order. I remember they were still in Hawaii filming the Lost season 2 finale after the penultimate episode had aired. The upshot of this is that when a show gets cancelled half way through a season there has to be something else ready to step in. I think The 4400 is a case of this, as season one only runs to 5 episodes. Season 2 is then an ambitious 13, and season 3 promises the same. The season 3 premier garnered over 4m viewers, which although it launched in the nothing season (episode one aired June just gone) is pretty impressive.

The 5 episode "mini-series" format of season one makes it easy to dip into, and easy to discard if you don't like what's on offer, so if you have a spare 2-3 hours give it a go as you'll need to get to the end of episode 3 to start to appreciate it. The end of season 3 is only a few weeks off so if you want to avoid seeing spoilers you'd better get a move on. First two seasons available on DVD, season 3 is on the USA Network and Sky One, plus its well represented from all the usual sources.

Superpowered Entertainment: A Guide Part One

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Tue, 15 Aug 2006 23:28:00 +0000

Well, those that know me will have been wondering when this was going to come along. I'm something of a fan of the "Superhero" genre, and comics to film/tv conversions. I could, in fact, easily write a whole other blog about the topic, and maybe I will. However, for now I'll try and get the subject out of the way in one go so it doesn't overtake what this site is intended to be.

To start off, let's get the big boys out of the way. The feature films are easy, and go thusly:

Good: Superman, Superman II, Superman Returns, Batman (Burton/Keaton), Batman Begins, Spiderman, Spiderman II, Sin City, X-Men II, Hellboy, Unbreakable, V for Vendetta

Average: Daredevil, Hulk (Ang Lee version), X-Men, X-Men II, Superman III, Batman Returns.

Fucking Awful: Superman IV, Electra, Batman and Robin, Batman Forever, Supergirl, League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, Fantastic Four, lots and lots of made for TV movies.

The sharp among you will notice none of the Blade films are listed. That's because they'd have to go in both the first and last categories, and that would upset me.

Anyway, that pretty much covers the major Hollywood end of things for now. I don't see a great deal of point talking about these films at great length, because chances are you've seen them all already. If not, you now have a handy list to refer to. I get a lot of people asking me specifically what I think of Superman Returns, and to make them stop I'll be doing a separate piece on that soon.

What I'm more interested in talking about here is the less travelled end of the comics conversion market, namely television. There's a lot of it about these days, and yes, a lot of it's very poor. There's also some surprisingly watchable stuff that gets hidden away on the kiddies channels more often than not. Anyhow, I'll start with the relative big boys and work down if you don't mind. (Ooh-er, etc)

I still think that basically, Smallville is a really good idea. One of the things that has kept Superman popular and interesting over many years is that there are essentially three characters to work with. Two of them, the flying alien in tights and the bumbling "mild mannered" reporter have been done time and again. The third, Clark Kent, raised by human parents on a farm in Kansas, has never really been done on film or TV before. Lois and Clark had a go, but it was just...cheap...so I try and forget about it (while, I must admit, still watching it most nights on ITV2 over dinner). So Smallville is a worthy concept, and really they've not done all that badly with it. If you've never watched it before it's best to know what to expect, which is Dawson's Creek with superpowers. Imagine how much more entertaining Dawson's would have been if Dawson had ripped Joeys arms out of her sockets and beaten her to death with them? I can't be the only one with that fantasy. The teen angst comes thick and fast in the first four seasons, and the action is rudely interrupted by gooey loft sequences between Clark and the ever alliterate Lana Lang. I tired of this after season one, and for a long time it really threatened to bury the show in my eyes. Add to this tedious teenage mucking about the fact that the majority of episodes are based around a simple "Freak of the Week" plotline, and it's really starting to sound pretty awful. What saves the whole thing though is maybe 2-3 episodes a season where the producers blow the whole budget and let rip on the action. The effect team win awards year after year, and righty so. Not just that, but it seems that when the writers are told they're doing a big action episode they breathe a sigh of relief, dump yet another "where is our relationship going" bore-fest and turn out some pretty tense and exciting television. This matures as you go through the seasons and the most recent, season 5, had some truly memorable moments. Clark leaping hundreds of feet onto a nuclear missile in flight to remove the warhead in the stratosphere, then walking back in the door with a slightly singed shirt springs to mind. In later seasons the producers have also started sprinkling other characters from the DC universe into the show, and usually to good effect. Episodes in the last two seasons introducing Flash, Cyborg, and Aquaman have all been pleasingly above average, and Season 6 promises Green Arrow. Of course the character everyone wants to see, and no doubt everyone on the show wants to introduce, is a young Bruce Wayne. Unfortunately while there's still a live feature film franchise telling a different origin story for Batman that's never going to happen. The other major plus point for the show was the decision to introduce Lex Luthor as a permanent fixture from the outset. Rosenbaum's Lex, and John Glover's frankly awesome Lionel Luthor provide 90% of the drama, and 95% of the decent acting. Glover, frankly, is a god. My advice to the uninitiated is to skim through season one to pick up the characters, then make a jump to the start of season 4. Although, that said, Season 3 Epsiodes 8-9 "Shattered" must be viewed. It's a story that's totally out of character for the show, contains almost no moaning at all, and is my example to people of episodic fantasy television at its absolute best.

I mentioned above that the character Aquaman makes an appearance in Smallville. The episode turned out to be one of the highest rated of the season, and prompted Smallville bosses Gough and Millar to produce an Aquaman pilot for their then network The WB. Around the same time The WB went through major structural changes and has come out the other side as a whole new network, CW. To cut a long story short, CW passed on the potential Aquaman series, and since Warners have the character rights that's the end of that. However, the pilot had become available to download from the US download store and probably other, less reputable sources. It's worth a look as it seems to have had some potential. It' been sat at the top of the US iTunes download chart for weeks, so maybe someone will pay some attention to that and it'll get picked up in sweeps after the entire cast and crew of One Tree Hill are savaged by bears.

Next up, MUTANTS. If any set of characters have come in for more abuse from writers over the years than The X-Men, I'm yet to hear about it. They were a fairly well kept secret for years, apart from Iceman twatting about with Spiderman and Firestar and the whole team appearing in a monumentally awful train wreck of an episode of "Spiderman and his Amazing Friends" (see if you can find this, I have it on VHS and it beggars belief). The comic, running quietly since the 60s, was then adopted by the "Generation X" crowd in the early/mid nineties and it all started to go stupid. Since then I could probably find you about 20 different retellings or every character's origin, each of which would flatly contradict the other 19. You get used to it after a while though, so I don't hate X-Men: Evolution as much as some people do. In fact, I don't hate it at all, I rather like it. For the uninitiated, the X-Men were created along with the earth and the heavens by Stan Lee in the 60's. The basic premise is that (not explicitly, but pretty obviously as a result of nuclear weapons testing) children start to be born with powers and abilities beyond those of normal people. Once these people become public knowledge they're generally met with extreme fear and hostility. The whole concept is a rather blatant allegory for the McCarthy communist witch hunts, although Lee would deny that even to this day. Long story short, bald guy opens a school where these kids can come and learn to control their sometimes dangerous powers in the hope of integrating with normal society and promoting tolerance, while elsewhere his former friend gathers others in the belief that the only way to survive is to subjugate the "inferior" human population. Anyhow, X-Men: Evolution reboots this idea in a contemporary setting. As is a necessity for a mainstream animated show, the majority of the characters are represented as highschool students. They train at the "institute" in their spare time, but attend a regular high school on a day to day basis. A lot of people rage about this being a corruption of the concept, but frankly that's dogshit. The original X-Men characters created by Lee were aged 14-15, and this is a good modern treatment of the story. All the important characters are there from the off, or introduced during the first season. The beauty of the X-Men as opposed to say, Smallville, is they have a vast pool of very strong characters with huge back-stories to introduce on a weekly basis without having to make up stupid excuses for why they can do weird things. Anyone who's seen the recent feature films will recognise just about everyone, with minor cosmetic changes to reach out to as much of a teenage audience as possible. Rogue as a goth for instance is different, but not a major betrayal of the spirit of the character. The only exception on this front is "Spyke", who has been completely made up out of thin air. I really don't see why they needed to do this, except to force a "streetwise" African-American kid into the cast, complete with skateboard. Rad. Anyway, if you enjoyed the feature films or are completely new to the X-Men, give this a spin. It's lightweight, as a children's cartoon will always be, but great fun and a treat to see some excellent characters brought to life. There are four full seasons to go at, from the usual sources.

Right, it's much too late and I'm clearly running away with myself on a topic I have a lot to say about. This has now become a 2-parter that I'll finish tomorrow. I'll sandwich something else in between for those who just don't care. On the slate for that are a write up of US series The 4400, my full thoughts on Superman Returns, and a passion piece about the genius of Jason Lee. Part 2 of this gubbins should feature Justice League Unlimited, lots of Batman, and Lou Ferrino, bless.

Snakes on a creeping sense of doom

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 18:05:00 +0000

Were you ever in a situation when you were younger when you'd begged and begged for a birthday present, then realised a week beforehand that you didn't really want it any more? However, you knew your parents had moved mountains and remortgaged the house to buy it for you, so you had to shut up and pretend to like it.

This is pretty much how I feel about the impending arrival of Snakes on a Plane. I've been terribly excited about it for months, and now I just have a horrible feeling it's going to be rubbish. The trailers don't inspire much optimism I must say.

I'll be reviewing it here in the next couple of days, but for now what *does* look good as an alternative is this: Snakes on a Train

It pays to be different.

Blame the UK Passport authority

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Fri, 11 Aug 2006 18:04:00 +0000

I've been tied up with them for a few days. Lots coming up. Starting with bastard snakes.

I almost forgot to mention Mel.

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 23:49:00 +0000

I used to rather like Mel Gibson, but then, didn't everyone? Around the time of Lethal Weapon II when Mel was at the height of his powers he made some rather good films, and an awful lot of money. Where did it all go wrong I wonder? Well, becoming a raging alcoholic is only part of the story. To anyone who read the comments regarding Judaism and the jewish people attributed to Mel's father around the time of The Wankfest of The Christ, that Mel is a chip off the old block should come as no surprise. The particularly amusing thing, and satisfying too considering Mels recent mission to become the most annoying man on the planet via the medium of producing movies, is the huge degree in which Mel has shot himself in the foot. Holywood forgives its stars almost anything. Drugs? Almost expected. Booze? Definitely expected. Kiddy fiddling? Probably get over it. Murder? Assault? Rape? A good lawyer and publicist should have you back making movies before too long. What Holywood doesn't do these days is overt racism. It's just a no go area, and rightly so. Mel's choice of target is particularly unfortunate for him, as a quick look at the boards of all the major studios can tell you. I don't think Mel will be working on any Dreamworks projects in th near future, do you? Actually, I hope Apocolypto does really well. I'd love to see Speilberg deck Mel on the red carpet outside the Shrine Auditorium.

Anyway, have a chuckle at this video mash up featuring everyone's favourite anti-semite over at BestWeekEver.

An intenet campagin! Hoo-fucking-rah!

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 22:42:00 +0000

Some internet weirdoes have made a video of them dancing around singing about how the internet should all be free and such like. You can watch it here. It includes that dick who dresses up like Peter Pan and that other dick in the shit Tron outfit. It's quite amusing watching them bullshit about what are quite clearly deviant sexual fetishes.

Anyway, what I'd like anyone in their right mind to do is the exact opposite of what this website asks. Free internet pinkos stand in the way of TV and movie companies providing all their content online, as there's not proper micropayment systems in place to make it worth their while. I want micro paid IPTV, and I want it now.

*Edit* I fogot to say that you should watch the video anyway. It is at least a bit funny watching them embarrass thmselves, and Joel's kittens even make an appearence at the end.

Eureka-ka-ka-ka-ka!

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Mon, 07 Aug 2006 22:12:00 +0000

Well, this one's been kept quiet. From me at least. Eureka is a weekly 45 minute US sci-fi drama of the type I tend to watch regardless of whether or not it's any good (see 90% of Smallville, more on that later). The premise is thus: After the second world war the US government, frightened by how close they came to losing the atomic race, decided to institute a center for scientific research as a place to house all the finest minds at their disposal. Rather than put them in a bunker under a mountain (a safer bet some would say) they enlisted the world's great architects, planners, and designers, to build a typical small town in the Pacific North West of the USA. Into this town were moved the world's great thinkers, scientists, psychologists etc. 60 years on, this town is still thriving, yet isolated from the outside world, and doesn't appear on any maps. From the Wiki: "Its residents are responsible for almost every leap in science known to humanity over the past fifty years. However, with experimentation inevitably comes failure, and over fifty years worth of trial and error they have had a number of experiments go awry (global warming is mentioned as one of these).

Though Eureka's residents suffer many of the same problems that ordinary towns do, having a town full of geniuses and virtually limitless resources tends to make their problems a much larger concern than those of a regular town. While transporting a fugitive back to Los Angeles, Jack Carter gets himself tangled up in the town's latest mishap, and soon ends up its new sheriff after the old one is injured on the job."

There, that's easier than summarising it myself.

Anyway, it's an interesting idea. The pilot and first couple of episodes proper are pretty good. Unbelievably the words "pretty good" have just been used, by me, in connection to something produced by the Sci Fi channel. Not surprisingly, Eureka is the highest rating show they have ever produced because even as a Sci-Fi fan I can admit that almost everything on the Sci-Fi channel is utter, utter toss. The script writing is a bit scetchy, but nowhere near as bad as previous efforts. There's even some convincing and likable characters, although one of the best is written out in the pilot to make way for the male lead.

Now here's a problem, and it's a general one with all kinds of TV. Characters names. The male lead here is played by Colin Ferguson and he does a good job. The character is likable enough, and provides a good outsiders perspective in this weird little community. The character, however, is called "Jack Carter". Jack fucking Carter. Why not Max Power? It's clear the writing team did actual research to find what is scientifically the most manly name possible, and Jack Carter came third (the first two were, of course, Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer, and therefore taken). This irritates me. I'd like to see a good looking, heroic TV male lead with a name like "Morris Gibbons". It'll never happen. The problem runs right through the cast. Nathan Stark? Fuck off.

Anyway, enough of that. This is well worth watching, and goes in the what to watch over the summer folder. The pilot and episodes 2 and 3 have been aired, so you know what to do. Plus, if you have cable it's on the sciffy channel.

Depp Vs Bloom, round one.

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Sat, 05 Aug 2006 03:53:00 +0000

Depp scores 9 for being in several rather good films, and acting quite well in them. Bloom scores 0 for ruining every scene he's in in Pirates 2. Depp scores 6 for being very watchable again in Pirates 2. Bloom scores -25m (that's m for million) for "skateboarding" down a walkway while decapiating Orks and still looking as gay as a window.

This could be a running feature, but Bloom would have to do alot to pull this back now.

This also seems like a good place to go all Popbitch and mention I have it on *very* good authority that Keira Knightly's fanny both smells, and tastes, of rancid old coleslaw. Has done since Love Actually, according to my source.

What to watch over the summer, part one

noreply@blogger.com (Moore) — Sat, 05 Aug 2006 01:40:00 +0000

The summer is a terrible time for television. The film situation isn't too bad, altough the showy spectaculars require actual cinema visits, which is not ideal. Television -wise though, it's like a vacuum sucking in endless repeats of what we've just spent the 9 month season watching. Nothing new happens over the summer, so what do we do? Apart from (if you're like me) keeping up to date with what's going to be happening with all the good shows come September, it's a good time to catch up with stuff you never got round to watching last season. It might be because your viewing time is limited, or because stuff hasn't been picked up by UK channels yet, so you've never heard of it. So, I feel it is my duty to give you something to seek out over the next few weeks, and maybe you'll find something that suits you.

First up, President Palmer goes all Jack Bauer in The Unit. Basically it's another horribly gung-ho T.W.A.T* spin-off in which highly trained sweating men pull off hyper-(un)realistic anti-terrorist operations exactly once every seven days. Sometimes they take a break for 7 days in the middle if it's a particularly tricky situation. The action in this department is up to standard. The characters offer no big surprises, but there are no acting bombs going off either. What makes The Unit a bit different from the pack is the decision to bolt Desperate Housewives onto the side of it. Literally.

I know, it sounds god-awful. If someone wrote it down and showed it to me I'd kill them with it, no matter how long it took with a simple piece of paper. However as with all the best terrible ideas it works rather well. Basically the show is split between scenes of the special forces operatives sneaking onto planes, and scenes of their wives worrying about them sneaking onto planes. Don't worry, I know how shit this still sounds. The genius is the Stepford-esque wives. Season 1, episode 1 sees a new recruit being initiated by The Unit (yes, it makes me giggle too) whilst his wife is being initiated into the wives circle and moving into their on-base house. I know I've mentioned Stepford already, but the resemblance is uncanny. "Live off-base...? No, NOBODY lives off base...."

Add to this the satisfaction of seeing Dennis Haybert out of his suit and waving a gun around, high production values providing some convincing action, and a little bit of quirk, and this could be a winner for a few seasons. Try episode one, especially if you're a 24 or The Shield fan.

*The War Against Terrorism