Last Friday I was in Atlanta, where I gave a talk on social media marketing at Dan Kennedy’s InfoSUMMIT conference.

I’m something of a fish out of water at a Glazer-Kennedy event. For example, unlike at Blogworld, I’m the only person in a room of 800 who has pink hair.

I wasn’t sure they’d be too receptive to what I had to say, but they surprised me.

They were warm, welcoming, and extremely interested in my no-shortcuts, no-magic-beans answers to their questions about how to use social media for marketing and business.

So in honor of Dan Kennedy, who sometimes styles himself as the “Professor of Harsh Reality,” I thought I’d talk today about some of the not-so-kumbaya aspects of social media marketing.

Harsh Reality #1: No one is reading your blog

As far as anyone can figure, there are about 200 million blogs around the world. Technorati tells us there are about 900,000 blog posts made every 24 hours.

The world is not waiting breathlessly to hear what you have to say about losing weight with acai berries, making big money as an affiliate marketer, or how to join your Secrets of the Breakthrough Millionaire Insider Guru Mastermind Platinum Club.

Me-too content gets ignored. Scraped and remixed junk won’t cut it. There’s too much good content that you need to compete with. And there’s no magic system that can replace sitting in front of your keyboard and producing something that somebody wants to read. (Or partnering with someone who can.)

If you don’t have a great answer to the question “Why should anyone read your blog?” you’re going to be pretty unhappy with your results. That’s why we spend so much time teaching you how to produce better, smarter, more effective content.

Harsh Reality #2: You’ve got to give (some of) your best stuff away

It’s very natural to expect to get paid for what you do. And you should have a business model that leads to exactly that.

But first, you’ve got some dues to pay.

Commenter Corree Silvera mentioned her favorite Brian Clark quote from this year’s Blogworld Expo:

Don’t sacrifice a lot of money later for a little money now.

The answer to the question in Harsh Reality #1, “why should anyone read your blog?” is that you’re going to give away some of your best, most valuable, most life-improving material away for free, within a well-defined content marketing plan.

Just remember Sean d’Souza’s bikini concept. You can give 90% of it away, but there will always be people who will happily pay to see that last 10%.

Harsh Reality #3: It will eat your life (if you let it)

Social media marketing would be pretty easy if we never had to eat, sleep, shower, or hang out with our kids.

But if doing those things is important to you, you’re going to have to set some boundaries.

Know what you want to do with social media, keep yourself focused, and set a timer if you have to. The tools are amazing, but so is their power to distract you from what you’re trying to accomplish.

Harsh Reality #4: Social media hates selling

Is there anything more pitiful than that guy who gets on Twitter and won’t shut up about how he can put you in a condo today with no money down despite your lousy credit rating? Even the spammers are blocking this dude.

It’s really hard to sell products and services in social media, mostly because this audience hates salespeople worse than they hate Microsoft. You may be able to get some limited success out of it, but more likely you’ll be banned, blocked, shunned, and abused.

Instead of promoting a product or service, promote fantastic content. Promote a great special report or an amazingly valuable email course. Promote wonderful stuff that you’re giving away.

Use excellent free stuff to build authority and trust. Then you have the right to make an offer and possibly do some business. Not before.

Harsh Reality #5: What they say is a million times more important than what you say

Your marketing might be beautifully executed. You might have a special report that goes more viral than H1N1, a great-looking blog that hits Digg twice a day, and an email marketing sequence that copywriting genius Gene Schwartz would have been proud to write.

If your reputation sucks, none of it matters.

People with lousy products, crummy business practices, and shady backgrounds get found out. And word spreads with frightening speed.

Treat people right, because if you don’t, you will be exposed. And it will not be pretty.

Harsh Reality #6: A blog is not a marketing plan

Blogs are cool, but a single useful tool isn’t the same thing as a solid business and marketing plan.

Blogs are just one way to get your best content out there, and they work best when you pair them up with email autoresponders, special reports, Twitter, and any of a dozen other powerful tools.

Just hanging out and being cool isn’t enough. If you’re in social media to do business, you have to develop a strategy for taking mildly interested strangers and turning them into raving fans . . . and customers.

Harsh Reality #7: You don’t get to opt out

Businesses that think they can ignore all this “Twitter stupidity” tend to get painfully rude awakenings.

The conversation will happen with or without you. You definitely don't need to respond to every chucklehead with a Facebook account (and you shouldn’t), but you need to keep your ear to the ground, and you need a clue.

OK, enough about harsh reality already! If you want our best advice about what to do to create a great online business, subscribe to Internet Marketing for Smart People, the Copyblogger email newsletter. It’s some of our best stuff, no junk, no fluff. And of course we will never, ever spam you or share your information with anyone.

About the Author: Sonia Simone is Senior Editor of Copyblogger and the founder of Remarkable Communication.

Step into a bookstore, find the business section, and pull out a book. Then flip the book to the back cover.

Here's what you're sure to find on virtually every business book: A selection of well-chosen fascinating bullets.

And there's a reason why bullets make it to the back cover of a book.

It's because you tend to read the title, then the subtitle (on the front cover) and then flip the book to get the gist of the book.

Yes there's the yada, yada, yada about the book on the back cover. Yes, there's an index. Yes, there's a contents page.

But you ignore most of the yada, yada, yada and head for the bullets.

You do it because bullets are like flashing Christmas lights

They flash because of their ability to create curiosity. And not just a little bit of curiosity, but a massive amount of curiosity.

So here I've got a book on my desk that's about podcasting. And at the very top of the back cover are the following bullets.

• How to find and download audio and video podcasts to your computer or portable media player
• How to develop, format, produce, edit, encode, and upload your audio or video podcast, including in-depth information on using music legally
• How to set up an effective audio studio, including the complete and updated "The podcast studio buyer’s guide"
• How to create great video, including tricks of the trade such as the law of thirds, the line, and the three-point light technique, as well as tips on casting, locations, scheduling, and more
• How people are marketing and making money through podcasting in the era of Web 2.0

Notice how they've put the entire guts of the book in those five simple points?

And notice how each of those points started with a “how” statement?

So let's tackle those two ideas one at a time

Idea 1: notice how each of those points started with a “how” statement?

It doesn't matter what the line. If you put the word 'how' before it, it instantly becomes interesting and gets our curiosity going.

Or you can always add a “why,” which does the same trick.

For example:

I went to Ireland this summer.

versus

How I went to Ireland this summer. or Why I went to Ireland this summer.

Another example:

I make butter chicken.

versus

How I make butter chicken. or Why I make butter chicken.

Of course you won’t use a sentence that’s as boring as the ones above, but you do get the point, right? The only question that remains is how do you get all of these sentences. And the clue lies in Idea 2.

Idea 2: Notice how they've put the entire guts of the book in those four or five lines?

So take your entire book or course, or speech, or whatever. Split it up into distinct parts.

For example, my product The Brain Audit has seven sections, so it could naturally be split into seven distinct bullets. Or you could also select just five.

Then pull out something from each part to describe the benefit the reader could get from that section.

So for The Brain Audit, the bullets read like this:

1. How to instantly get (and keep) the attention of the customer.
2. The roller coaster sequence (and why it matters when selling).
3. How to create a uniqueness factor in a matter of days.
4. How to know if a customer is really interested in your offering.
5. Why benefits and solutions aren't the most effective way to sell.

Each of those bullets represents a different part of the book

And each of them has a simple “how” or “why” structure to get and keep attention.

In fact, this same technique that you see at the back of a book can be used for any persuasive piece of writing, be it a sales page, an event, a speaking engagement, product, or service.

The fundamentals are simple

Take your product/service. Split it into five or seven parts and pull out the most important highlights or benefits.

Take those highlights or benefits and put a “why” or “how” before each one.

And there you have it: a collection of fascinating bullets.

And that's how you make your product/service or course stand out. Like flashing Christmas lights.

About the Author: Sean D’Souza offers a free report on ‘Why Headlines Fail’ when you subscribe to his Psychotactics Newsletter. Be sure to check out his blog, too.

Step into a bookstore, find the business section, and pull out a book. Then flip the book to the back cover.

Here's what you're sure to find on virtually every business book: A selection of well-chosen fascinating bullets.

And there's a reason why bullets make it to the back cover of a book.

It's because you tend to read the title, then the subtitle (on the front cover) and then flip the book to get the gist of the book.

Yes there's the yada, yada, yada about the book on the back cover. Yes, there's an index. Yes, there's a contents page.

But you ignore most of the yada, yada, yada and head for the bullets.

You do it because bullets are like flashing Christmas lights

They flash because of their ability to create curiosity. And not just a little bit of curiosity, but a massive amount of curiosity.

So here I've got a book on my desk that's about podcasting. And at the very top of the back cover are the following bullets.

• How to find and download audio and video podcasts to your computer or portable media player
• How to develop, format, produce, edit, encode, and upload your audio or video podcast, including in-depth information on using music legally
• How to set up an effective audio studio, including the complete and updated "The podcast studio buyer’s guide"
• How to create great video, including tricks of the trade such as the law of thirds, the line, and the three-point light technique, as well as tips on casting, locations, scheduling, and more
• How people are marketing and making money through podcasting in the era of Web 2.0

Notice how they've put the entire guts of the book in those five simple points?

And notice how each of those points started with a “how” statement?

So let's tackle those two ideas one at a time

Idea 1: notice how each of those points started with a “how” statement?

It doesn't matter what the line. If you put the word 'how' before it, it instantly becomes interesting and gets our curiosity going.

Or you can always add a “why,” which does the same trick.

For example:

I went to Ireland this summer.

versus

How I went to Ireland this summer. or Why I went to Ireland this summer.

Another example:

I make butter chicken.

versus

How I make butter chicken. or Why I make butter chicken.

Of course you won’t use a sentence that’s as boring as the ones above, but you do get the point, right? The only question that remains is how do you get all of these sentences. And the clue lies in Idea 2.

Idea 2: Notice how they've put the entire guts of the book in those four or five lines?

So take your entire book or course, or speech, or whatever. Split it up into distinct parts.

For example, my product The Brain Audit has seven sections, so it could naturally be split into seven distinct bullets. Or you could also select just five.

Then pull out something from each part to describe the benefit the reader could get from that section.

So for The Brain Audit, the bullets read like this:

1. How to instantly get (and keep) the attention of the customer.
2. The roller coaster sequence (and why it matters when selling).
3. How to create a uniqueness factor in a matter of days.
4. How to know if a customer is really interested in your offering.
5. Why benefits and solutions aren't the most effective way to sell.

Each of those bullets represents a different part of the book

And each of them has a simple “how” or “why” structure to get and keep attention.

In fact, this same technique that you see at the back of a book can be used for any persuasive piece of writing, be it a sales page, an event, a speaking engagement, product, or service.

The fundamentals are simple

Take your product/service. Split it into five or seven parts and pull out the most important highlights or benefits.

Take those highlights or benefits and put a “why” or “how” before each one.

And there you have it: a collection of fascinating bullets.

And that's how you make your product/service or course stand out. Like flashing Christmas lights.

About the Author: Sean D’Souza offers a free report on ‘Why Headlines Fail’ when you subscribe to his Psychotactics Newsletter. Be sure to check out his blog, too.

Well, I live with it. As a matter of fact, I call him "Austin."

In the five years I've been a parent, I've realized that the notion of the inner child is more than just a neat psychological construct. It's very nearly a literal thing. As we grow up, we don't change so much as drape layer after complicated layer of adult emotion on top of that inner child. The child doesn't vanish; he just gets obscured and filtered.

You don't get an evolved, new mature being. You get Austin with fifteen blankets over his head.

Because that kid always remains at our core (and if you've ever caught yourself playing kids' games with genuine enjoyment, you know that it does), our base motivations remain as well. They just get a little harder to see.

Kids ask for love; adults have complicated passive-aggressive relationships. Kids eat what tastes good; adults want the cupcake, but worry about it going straight to their thighs.

So you want to learn about marketing? Well, despite the complicated models and terminology that some of the gurus use, it's actually quite simple. To see what works and why, all you have to do is look to my boy.

Make the customer "want that"

When the TV is on in our house, there are sometimes twelve sequential minutes of relative quiet. Then, as the commercials come on, we get a loud play-by-play as Austin begins talking loudly to nobody:

"I want that."

"I don't want that."

“I want that. That last thing. Not that; the thing before."

It's easy to dismiss this as incredibly annoying, but if you think about it, it's actually really revealing.

(OK, it’s incredibly annoying too.)

Without all of those complex adult filters, kids are a conduit to something we don't normally allow in the adult world: pure desire. There are none of the shoulds and should nots, no rationalizations and thoughts of what is proper or responsible.

That kid is still inside everyone. So the dead-simple lesson is this: Every sale starts with pure desire. Customers either "want that" or they don't. The rest is just mental gymnastics to justify that core emotion.

Know what your customer really wants

Recently, Austin stormed through a six pack of kids' yogurt so that we'd buy more, because each six pack had a tiny, ridiculous comic book inside. Yoplait could have filled those containers with shredded paper and they still would have gotten our dollars if Austin had his way.

Did he want the yogurt? Not so much. He wanted the comic book.

Similarly, we sometimes go to McDonald's because of the dumb little toys they stick in Happy Meals. Or because of the giant playlands they have everywhere.

I have this experiment I keep meaning to try: I want to tell Austin that McDonald's serves food, because I think he may be surprised to learn it. We don't go to McDonald's for the food. We go for the Batmobile that fires a small plastic stick at the back of my head while I'm driving.

Now . . . Wendy's? We don't go to Wendy's. Their kids' meal prizes are audiobooks on CD. Bleh. Same basic food, but none of what the boy really wants.

Interestingly, as I write this, I'm sitting at a Borders book store. There's also a Barnes & Noble in town, but they don't have as many big poofy chairs to sit in, and their ambient music is too loud. Apparently both stores have the same books, but I wouldn't know that because I just come here to buy a latte and work in a comfortable chair.

Don't lie to your customers

Cheers to McDonald's for recognizing that small toys will get kids in the door. But jeers to our local managers for failing the "implied contract with the customer" test.

Recently, my wife and I were assaulted by a barrage of McDonald's requests because the current pieces of plastic junk that the clerks were dropping into Happy Meals were Bakugan figures, which are Japanese balls that transform into things. (Don't ask.)

My wife took Austin once and he returned angry, showing me a nondescript plastic Pancho Villa-like figure with a spinning sombrero. Later, I took him and despite the display for Bakugan, we again walked away with a bogus replacement -- a miniature stuffed monkey.

Twice burned, Austin's McDonald's lust backed off significantly. And, seeing as our son had been lied to twice, my wife and I instituted a temporary boycott.

Associative conditioning works

We often buy SpongeBob SquarePants macaroni and cheese. It's terrible. For some reason, a complicated spongelike lattice doesn't present cheese and pasta in a pleasing ratio. And yet Austin eats it and requests it again and again because SpongeBob is on the box.

I tested the limits of this adoration yesterday over dinner. Austin hates lettuce more than anything in the world, so I asked him if he would eat lettuce that had SpongeBob printed on the leaves and came with a free coloring book. He was all over it.

Then he got mad at me when I told him that such lettuce didn't exist.

Of course, this only works on small children. Only kids are dumb enough to fall for such a simple trick, right?

Um, not quite. Most advertising is based around associative conditioning, which is taking something that you already like and pairing it with something that they want you to like. Or with someone you already like, in the form of a celebrity (or sponge) endorsement.

You may not buy terrible macaroni because a cartoon tells you to, but you buy Nikes because LeBron James endorses them. Or you buy a phone you can’t actually talk on because it’s white with a silver Apple on it. And if you don't do those things, then I'll bet you were buying Pepsi because of Michael Jackson back before they lit his hair on fire.

You may be standing up and denying angrily that you do any of those things, but billions of advertiser dollars say either that you're quite unique or that you're mistaken. Maybe you don't come out and say, "Ooh, Tiger Woods. I want that!" but it happens anyway -- deep down, at the inner child level.

Like so many things, marketing can appear way more complicated than it is. But marketing is simple -- not always easy, but simple. In fact, it's so simple that you may be overlooking the reasons it works when it does, and why it doesn't work when it fails.

If you have kids, look to them. See what they like, and why they like it. See what pushes their buttons, because it'll tell you a ton. Kids aren't dumb. They're just adults without all of those complicated outer layers.

About the Author: Johnny B. Truant is giving a free teleclass called Attract Clients, Lose the Stress, and Do What You Love tomorrow (November 11, 2009) with his marketing veteran mother. She knows Johnny’s inner child better than he does, because she lived with it for eighteen years.

Ever had an idea that couldn’t miss?

You took immediate action, created the perfect warm-up content, the best launch strategy, and the perfect offer . . . .

And then it totally failed.

So yeah, the film Purple Rain contains the consummate lesson on this one.

No, really.

The Lesson of Lake Minnetonka

Upon mature reflection, the album Purple Rain is a work of genius, while the film . . . not so much. But any true Prince fan loves it anyway.

And as a teenage boy in 1985, the fact that a diminutive man sporting a jerry curl and a ruffled shirt could score with gorgeous women was rather encouraging, you know?

One memorable scene involves Prince giving bombshell Appolonia Kotero a motorcycle ride through rural Minnesota. As he pulls up to the shoreline, Prince lets her know she has to prove herself.

“You have to purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka,” Prince says mysteriously. Then he says it again.

Next, fulfilling every teenage boy’s as yet unimagined wish, Appolonia strips down to her thong and jumps in the lake.

The freezing water provides an immediate shock. But the cruel surprise comes from a half-apologetic Prince.

“That ain’t Lake Minnetonka.”

Did You Jump in the Wrong Lake?

Often, you do everything right, except for the first thing.

You start with an otherwise great product and mistakenly try to sell it to the wrong people.

This isn’t always fatal, but it’s definitely frustrating. And it’s because you focused on what you want rather than who you’re trying to serve. You jumped right in without understanding all the critical facts.

While it may sound a bit kumbaya, understanding who you can help helps you. It’s the key to the kind of outstanding success that alludes those who don’t understand why the take, take, take strategy doesn’t work.

It’s really give, give, give to win. But only if you give the right things to the right people.

Missing the true needs and desires of your market is like jumping in the wrong lake.

You simply end up like Appolonia -- cold, wet, and disappointed.

Start With the People, Not the Product

So where do online marketers go wrong?

There's an old saying . . . start with the prospect, not the product. It keeps you from trying to sell stuff to the wrong people.

Even better, it keeps you from selling stuff nobody wants.

That truly unfortunate event happens when someone has an idea they think, for example, every small business owner should embrace. But it isn't something the small business market wants to embrace.

It's like trying to sell asparagus to kids because it's good for them. If you're competing against the jingle of the ice cream truck down the street, you’re not likely to get the results you want, because there's simply no market for your offer.

In this sad case, the analogy is more Matrix than Purple Rain:

Do not think that the lake is cold . . . that’s impossible.

The truth is, there is no lake.

Ouch.

It’s About Them, Silly

You’ve heard it all before. But do you get it?

Wealthy entrepreneurs are essentially highly-compensated servants to their chosen market. And yet the benefits are way better than the numerable perks Alfred gets from the bat cave.

Wow, three film references in one post . . . did it work?

If you're trying to make a match between your market and the right offer, subscribe to Copyblogger's free newsletter on Internet Marketing. It starts with a 20-lesson tutorial on the four keys to building a sustainable business (one of which is finding the right product or service for your people).

About the Author: Brian Clark is founder of Copyblogger and co-founder of DIY Themes, creator of the innovative Thesis Theme for WordPress. Get more from Brian on Twitter.

Every day, someone releases a new eBook, video, or podcast that not only contains tremendous value, but gives away many of the "tricks of the trade" that we used to have to pay for.

You'd think that the paid content business would be shrinking in the face of all this free information, but it keeps getting stronger. How can that be?

For instance, there are a lot of free materials that teach people how to set up a Wordpress blog or to use Twitter effectively. A quick search on YouTube will provide you with hundreds of videos that can teach you to do almost anything you want to know.

Yet, there are still people making plenty of cash selling products explaining how to do any and all of those things.

How do they do it?

Building relationships

People buy from those that they know and trust.

Sure, there are people in the yellow highlighter brigade who can sell ice to an Eskimo, but it isn’t easy to do. (And you may not even want to.)

Most of us can't write the ultimate sales letter. We also can't afford to hire a $20,000 copywriter. So how do we do it? We build relationships.

When you establish a “winning difference” or USP, you can start attracting the people who really dig what you do.

If your stuff is good, I guarantee you can find at least one evangelist to recruit others to come check you out. They'll spread the word for you, which attracts more evangelists, and means that you will have ever more people stopping by.

Nurture relationships with your readers and evangelists and your small army will continue to grow.

The benefit of free

Content marketing is all about giving away some of your best stuff for free. Not just your “pretty good” content, but content that will improve and add value to the lives of your readers.

As they learn more, their game will improve and they’ll keep coming around for more. And they’ll want to reciprocate by either buying your paid products or spreading your message.

Most people won't buy from you unless you've proven to them that you know what you’re talking about. Great content is one of the best ways you can do that. When you give content away for free, you earn trust and anchor your business in the mind of that reader. If they use your stuff, and it works, they'll keep coming back for more.

They’ll pay for souvenirs

I first heard this idea from Seth Godin when he gave a speech about book marketing, but the concept applies to nearly every online business.

He said that people buy souvenirs, not products. In the music industry, Nine Inch Nails does this by selling collector's editions of their albums. In the blogging industry, we can do it by selling a physical version of a product, limiting quantities of digital products, or by publishing a book.

If your blog creates a great experience, think about what kind of souvenirs you could offer that would let them hold onto that experience.

They’ll pay for access

Particularly if you’ve used your blog to build your reputation and authority, you can also sell different levels of access to you.

The people who truly love what you do want other ways to access your knowledge. Your raving fans will start by picking up every digital product you offer. From there, many will want more exclusive access, such as a consulting service, a mentoring or coaching program, or a monthly membership with exclusive access to you.

If you empower people to do what they most want to do, they'll want to buy something in order to feel closer to you. (And, of course, it goes without saying that you’ll deliver value that’s in line with the prices you’re charging.)

JB Glossinger does a great job of this with his Coach Cast. Brian and Sonia do it with Teaching Sells.

You'd have to sell thousands of eBooks to make a living as a blogger, but it might take only a few hundred premium members to do the same job.

Free samples have been part of marketing and selling since long before the Internet. Give great value and follow a few proven models, and you’ll discover not only does “free” not hurt you, it can actually be a great boost for your online business.

About the Author: Nathan Hangen writes about web entrepreneurship at NathanHangen.com, and about how to use social media to fuel your brand at Making It Social. Follow him on Twitter @nhangen.

This week marked the 40th anniversary of the breakthrough TV program Sesame Street. I’ve written before about some of the many lessons you can learn from this cultural icon, but today I’m going to zero in something new.

You might have an Elmo blog, a Cookie Monster blog, or a Big Bird blog. (How you define those is up to you.)

But some of the smartest and most successful bloggers out there bear more in common with the show’s least-likeable character: Oscar the Grouch.

Oscar was an important character from the show’s beginning, and on the surface he doesn’t seem to quite fit in.

Everyone else on Sesame Street is pretty much cheerful and happy all the time. They have infinite patience, everyone loves children, and friendship is king.

Oscar, on the other hand, hates kittens, rainbows, and having a nice day. He loves anything dirty or dingy or rusty.

He was always my dad’s favorite character on the show, which annoyed me to no end when I was six. These days, I’m starting to see my dad’s point.

Oscar doesn’t want everyone to love him. (That would be his biggest nightmare, in fact.) He does his own thing, he lives the way he wants to live, and he’s not particularly interested in what anyone else has to say about it.

He’s not miserable

It would be easy to think that Oscar’s just one of those people who enjoy being unhappy, But actually, Oscar has a great life.

He has things set up just the way he likes them. He’s surrounded by trash, which is what he loves. His trash can home has the perfect dented patina that makes him happy.

Oscar’s not depressed or pathological. He’s just weird. He likes different stuff from most people. And he expresses himself without apology.

The grouch community

One of the things I love on Sesame Street is when the show pulls back occasionally to reveal the whole grouch community.

There are grouch restaurants. (Sandra Bernhard had a great cameo as a waitress in one, in the 1980s Sesame Street movie Follow that Bird.) Grouch taxi services. Grouch “dirtying machines” at the laundromat. Sesame Street is about as diverse as they come, and grouches are just one of the many groups they embrace.

Oscar seems like a loner, but actually he’s part of a larger community. There are dozens of grouches in trash cans living on Sesame Street, yelling at the kids and generally having a fantastic time.

It’s not about being a jerk

I’m about the last person who will ever tell you to be a troll, or a jerk for the sake of being a jerk.

Being a contrarian just to create controversy is hollow, and people see through it. Yanking people’s chains for its own sake doesn’t create anything useful. An audience might show up for the spectacle of you making a rude jackass of yourself, but they won’t follow through with any kind of loyalty or commitment.

Being an Oscar blogger isn’t about being a creep. It’s about doing your thing without apology, no matter how strange it looks to “normal people.” It’s about weird passions and showing the side most people are scared to reveal.

The downside

There’s an obvious downside to grouch blogging: you’re going to turn people off. In fact, you might very well turn most people off.

Plenty of people take one look at Ittybiz or The Bloggess and beat a hasty retreat. Those blogs aren’t for “most people.”

The people who remain are fanatically loyal, almost to the point of obsession. It’s precisely because so many people hate it that their audiences love it. This also works for Dan Kennedy, Ricky Gervais, and Ty Cobb. (I defy you to find that combination anywhere else on the internet.)

What to do if you aren’t a grouch

If you’re not a member of the grouch community, there’s something else you’ve got to say that’s “not for everyone.”

Maybe you’re just a little too enthusiastic about zombies. Maybe you’re starting a freak revolution. Maybe you’re just plain out there.

The internet is too big to please everyone. (And there are plenty of people out there who aren’t worth pleasing.) Find your own village and give them what they’re looking for. You’ll find that they happily come back for more.

Trying to figure out how social media and making a living can go together? Subscribe to our free newsletter on Internet Marketing for Smart People. It starts with a 20-lesson tutorial on the four keys to building a sustainable business with content marketing.

About the Author: Sonia Simone is Senior Editor of Copyblogger and the founder of Remarkable Communication.

]]>

This week marked the 40th anniversary of the breakthrough TV program Sesame Street. I’ve written before about some of the many lessons you can learn from this cultural icon, but today I’m going to zero in something new.

You might have an Elmo blog, a Cookie Monster blog, or a Big Bird blog. (How you define those is up to you.)

But some of the smartest and most successful bloggers out there bear more in common with the show’s least-likeable character: Oscar the Grouch.

Oscar was an important character from the show’s beginning, and on the surface he doesn’t seem to quite fit in.

Everyone else on Sesame Street is pretty much cheerful and happy all the time. They have infinite patience, everyone loves children, and friendship is king.

Oscar, on the other hand, hates kittens, rainbows, and having a nice day. He loves anything dirty or dingy or rusty.

He was always my dad’s favorite character on the show, which annoyed me to no end when I was six. These days, I’m starting to see my dad’s point.

Oscar doesn’t want everyone to love him. (That would be his biggest nightmare, in fact.) He does his own thing, he lives the way he wants to live, and he’s not particularly interested in what anyone else has to say about it.

He’s not miserable

It would be easy to think that Oscar’s just one of those people who enjoy being unhappy, But actually, Oscar has a great life.

He has things set up just the way he likes them. He’s surrounded by trash, which is what he loves. His trash can home has the perfect dented patina that makes him happy.

Oscar’s not depressed or pathological. He’s just weird. He likes different stuff from most people. And he expresses himself without apology.

The grouch community

One of the things I love on Sesame Street is when the show pulls back occasionally to reveal the whole grouch community.

There are grouch restaurants. (Sandra Bernhard had a great cameo as a waitress in one, in the 1980s Sesame Street movie Follow that Bird.) Grouch taxi services. Grouch “dirtying machines” at the laundromat. Sesame Street is about as diverse as they come, and grouches are just one of the many groups they embrace.

Oscar seems like a loner, but actually he’s part of a larger community. There are dozens of grouches in trash cans living on Sesame Street, yelling at the kids and generally having a fantastic time.

It’s not about being a jerk

I’m about the last person who will ever tell you to be a troll, or a jerk for the sake of being a jerk.

Being a contrarian just to create controversy is hollow, and people see through it. Yanking people’s chains for its own sake doesn’t create anything useful. An audience might show up for the spectacle of you making a rude jackass of yourself, but they won’t follow through with any kind of loyalty or commitment.

Being an Oscar blogger isn’t about being a creep. It’s about doing your thing without apology, no matter how strange it looks to “normal people.” It’s about weird passions and showing the side most people are scared to reveal.

The downside

There’s an obvious downside to grouch blogging: you’re going to turn people off. In fact, you might very well turn most people off.

Plenty of people take one look at Ittybiz or The Bloggess and beat a hasty retreat. Those blogs aren’t for “most people.”

The people who remain are fanatically loyal, almost to the point of obsession. It’s precisely because so many people hate it that their audiences love it. This also works for Dan Kennedy, Ricky Gervais, and Ty Cobb. (I defy you to find that combination anywhere else on the internet.)

What to do if you aren’t a grouch

If you’re not a member of the grouch community, there’s something else you’ve got to say that’s “not for everyone.”

Maybe you’re just a little too enthusiastic about zombies. Maybe you’re starting a freak revolution. Maybe you’re just plain out there.

The internet is too big to please everyone. (And there are plenty of people out there who aren’t worth pleasing.) Find your own village and give them what they’re looking for. You’ll find that they happily come back for more.

Trying to figure out how social media and making a living can go together? Subscribe to our free newsletter on Internet Marketing. It starts with a 20-lesson tutorial on the four keys to building a sustainable business with content marketing.

About the Author: Sonia Simone is Senior Editor of Copyblogger and the founder of Remarkable Communication.

They find something interesting or random, and then clue in other people to that interesting or random thing.

This is how blog posts gain steam on Digg or go viral. This is how we find out about new YouTube videos. This is how we communicate now.

Except we don't.

We were people before we were bloggers

Think about the blogs that you like the most. Like, to pick a totally random example, mine. ;)

Do you like them because they told you something weird or peculiar that you didn't know about before? Or do you like them because you enjoy what the post says? Because you like the way the article was written? Because you like the style of the author, the blog’s sense of humor, the way the blogger turns a phrase?

Great bloggers become great because they have a unique style and way of thinking. Here's the kicker, though: They were that way before they ever became bloggers.

Dave Navarro over at The Launch Coach? He was a pretty great dude before blogging was even invented. He was funny. He was helpful. He had kind of an attitude, in a good way. He was all the things we love him for today as a blogger.

But he wasn't blogging. Not his fault; blogging didn't exist back then.

If you want to become a better blogger, you need to have a style and a voice of your own -- and you can't find that sitting at your computer desk. Not enough of a voice, anyway, to make you really great.

You're not going to develop your blogging awesomeness by re-posting what other people have written or riffing off thoughts they've had, or setting up endless list posts pointing to someone else’s content.

Those things are fine once in awhile, but they’re not enough to build a great blog.

Forget blogging for a while (but keep it in the back of your mind)

To become better bloggers, we need to get out in the world.

Start conversations with more people. Find the kind of jokes you like to tell. Listen to the rhythm of your voice as you speak. Pay attention to the way people react when you talk. Notice how they seem more interested when you speak in a certain way or when you discuss certain topics.

Pay attention to what attracts your interest. Does color catch your eye? Do you peek around street corners to find out who's playing that music? Do you slow down to eavesdrop on people who seem to be having interesting conversations? Do you help people on the bus or pick up things they've dropped? Do you go talk to storeowners or to the others standing in line with you?

This is how you'll find a style of your own, a personality that makes up who you are as a blogger.

Find some activities or events around the subjects you like to blog about. Naomi at Ittybiz wrote a great series about marketing and branding campaigns she noticed while walking around town.

Why? Because she's into marketing and branding. That's what she blogs about. It was interesting. It made her interesting.

And she wrote these posts from her own unique perspective using her own voice. There are a couple of really spiffy posts that she would never have written if she hadn't been thinking of her blog posts as she bought paint from the hardware store.

That’s how you can be a better blogger. You find new things to write about just by getting away from the computer so you can explore the world.

So walk away from that keyboard (after you comment on this post, of course). Get outside. Go interact with a real, live, flesh-and-blood person. Communicate with that person. Observe. Watch. And come back when you've found out what sort of blogger you really are.

Then write a blog post that rocks that person’s socks off.

About the Author: James Chartrand is rockin' socks off over at Men with Pens, thanks to a unique voice and plenty of time away from the computer. Check out his blog, then go get some fresh air and sun.