Inconsequential Logic

(2-2-1965) - Selma, Alabama

2012-02-02T11:33:00.000-06:00

Brave men and women, black and white. Thank you for the liberties I enjoy today. Peace...

Laugh or Cry - Guess it Depends On Your Mood....I Smiled!

2012-01-26T14:01:00.000-06:00

My weekend started at 7:00am this morning. It should last the next 7 days. Have a great one guys!!

Happy New Year - 2012

2011-12-31T08:14:00.000-06:00

Another year is just about a wrap. It's been one of the most tumultuous years of my life. But I'm here and still kicking. In case I don't get back this way before midnight tonight, Happy New Year Everybody!!!! Love you all!!!

Why Beautiful Women Gravitate Toward Rotten Dudes?

2011-12-29T14:12:00.000-06:00

I guess this is similar to women asking why men cheat. They cheat because someone is willing to go there with them. Every one sees life in their own way on their own terms. My reality isn't your reality. We engage in many of these detrimental behaviors because rotten can't always be seen from the outside (fruit for example). Physical attributes are the first thing that draw us towards someone. It's not until layers start to be removed and truths start to be shared that we realize we've walked into an intricate labyrinth and finding our way out is a lot harder than finding our way in.

****this was the answer I gave recently in a group I'm a member of on Facebook. What are some reasons you can think of?****

Simplifying Christmas: How One Family Scaled Down - and Got Inspired

2011-12-25T00:37:00.001-06:00

My mother grew up poor. Poor-poor. As in: anonymous basket of food on the doorstep each Thanksgiving poor. (They were embarrassed, but my grandmother and her five children spread only seven years apart ate the gifts, you can be sure...every bite. They truly were hungry.)

As a result, once Mom had children of her own, she made our Christmases special in the way she thought must be special: she went crazy with gifts, decor...and spending.

Mom gave her children dozens of presents apiece (we weren't complaining), sent out at least a hundred holiday cards each year (one Christmas it was 253 cards...I will never forget that...and no, she wasn't a business), decorated our way to a staggering December electric bill and bought "a little something" for the postman, the garbage man, the neighbors and every single teacher at school, including both lunch aides.

We loved her for it. Or more accurately, we loved that she wanted to do something special for us. Then, as we grew up, even we kids began feeling embarrassed and a little awkward at the bonanza Mom frantically pulled out of a hat (and out of the family savings account) every December.

Dad hinted. Bills were paid late. We kids got quieter and quieter around our friends about "what we all got" because we knew they'd dislike our answers out of jealousy -- who wouldn't?

Then suddenly one day, I was an adult and had children of my own. And, I'm ashamed to say, now I was the one spending my entire Christmas bonus on toys and gifts rather than, say, car insurance or health care. The one spending an embarrassment of riches we didn't really have, for reasons even I didn't fully understand.
Mom had passed the torch on to me, good intentions notwithstanding. I decided I wanted to do something about it. So I made the change -- and my kids are just as happy for it. Here's what we did:

We scaled down the Christmas buying -- and we did it as a team.

It was easier than you might think. We said, "We are all going to save for our family and for the earth this year. Mom and Dad will only buy for each other, you kids will save in your piggy banks and we'll get you a few REALLY great toys each."

The kids were immediately on board. Children love when families do things together and have a cause; don't underestimate your own children when it comes to their sense of teamwork!

Next we approached the extended family -- gently. First we suggested a Secret Santa where only one person would buy for one other person, plus bring one toy each for any child under 13 to the "big" family Christmas. We were amazed -- they took right to the idea. It seems everyone was as relieved as we were to be scaling down. (Psst: this year we're aiming for "kids only"!)

Next, we started a "count your blessings" tree. Each year, my children made one ornament apiece symbolizing something they were happy to have, or happy to be able to do for another. This lead to some amazing creativity: former soccer socks as stockings (they were grateful to have been part of a team and have so much fun), collages of family members' faces, a framed picture of our very favorite place to hike.

They were grateful for the very existence of Christmas too and over the years made a whole collection of barnyard characters a la The Nativity, perhaps the most beloved of the ornaments I keep and display every year. (In fact, we have often subbed an animal or two for get-togethers, such as my littlest's barnyard 1st birthday.)

We're finding simplification to be absolutely wonderful. With less running around, spending, boxing up and shipping to do, we're finding lots of time to sit together and watch family favorites like Emmet Otter's Jugband Christmas (LOVE Emmet) and the great 60s animations, read holiday stories, cook together and to simply cuddle together on a chilly winter evening under the Christmas patchwork blanket we've proudly made by ourselves.

These are the moments that last -- and they haven't cost us a thing except the most precious gift of all: our time, handed willingly to one another.

If you're finding that you're starting to lose the "holiday spirit," try simplifying. You just may find gifts you never thought of before, and they'll last a lifetime.

*********************************
About the author: Melanie is a wife, mommy and part-time author who enjoys putting together themed party ideas for other parents just like herself. A big DIY and creativity supporter, she works daily to simplify her life, to enjoy the little things and to always remember what's important.

Tis The Season...

2011-12-17T12:56:00.000-06:00

In spite of, I have so many things to be thankful for. It's really not relevant to me what religion, if any, you are. Christmas has always given me a warm, happy feeling. The decorations, the carols, the pleasant thoughts of baked goodies, large family gatherings and festiveness bring back such fond memories. It's really sad that Christmas can't always be as magical as it is during your childhood.

I can still remember what it was like waking Christmas morning. The sounds, the smells, the joy are as real to me now as they were back then.

It was a good time.

I hate that Christmas has become one of the most commercialized holidays we celebrate. Little about Christ or the celebration of his birth are reflected in the behavior displayed by retailers or shoppers. I realize it's one of the holiest of holidays mixed with a bit of pagan tradition. But heck, aren't they all? Still, what I've seen lately is disheartening on so many levels.

Take. Take. Take.... No giving. No spirit of peace and good will. Pepper spray for the woman who dares to take the last video game. Trip and trample the old lady who's too slow to rush the front doors of the local Wal-Mart. Buy excessively just because it's ON SALE... stating as you type in your credit card number "I don't need it. I just hate to miss a good sale."

Really?

I found out a long time ago that I can't change the world nor anyone in it. I can only change me . And if that change stimulates a change (for the better) in someone else, then all the better.

My life list item #30 is to spend one Christmas day helping the needy.

After discussing my plans with my family (especially my youngest son), I've decided this will be the year for making that goal a reality.

Because like I said.... in spite of, I have so many things to be thankful for...

Life is the greatest gift of all.

Merry Christmas...

Sometime There Aren't Words... But I'll Try

2011-12-02T18:11:00.000-06:00

In May of this year, I met one of my father's other children. A sweet, kindhearted man named Darek. Darek and I took to each other like we'd only been away a short time at boarding school. Our conversations flowed so effortlessly. Staring at him was like looking at a more masculine reflection of me in the mirror.

Of course shortly after meeting him, I had my ordeal with my heart. He was right there; always calling, always concerned; wanting to come back to Mississippi from Florida to check on his baby sister; sending care packages in the mail. Just being a brother - something I'd never really had.

After I started recovering, we talked about me visiting Florida. One of my goals on my life list is to dip my feet in the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans. He informed me that he only lived about 15 minutes from the beach and would take me there as soon as I arrived in Florida.

Just a few weeks ago, Darek reluctantly told me that he'd been diagnosed with mouth cancer and was planning on having this pretty extensive surgery....involving removal of a portion of his jaw, bone, skin and blood vessel grafting and reconstructing - the whole nine! He said he asked the doctor if he would "still look good"....my angel...

He sounded so optimistic (yep, he was my brother). I was more concerned about any radiation or chemo that might follow.

Well, we won't have to worry about any of that now. My brother passed away this afternoon after developing complications after returning home from the hospital. He was 47 years old.

Pray for me.

Pray for his wife and children..

Pray for his other siblings....

Pray for his extended family members....

Pray for us all.

11-11-11 (Veteran's Day)

2011-11-11T03:31:00.000-06:00

Thank you and God Bless

Insomnia

2011-11-06T02:26:00.000-06:00

The cuddling and soothing strokes of your maternal hand lulling me to sleep left my tender mocha skin decades ago. No longer needing nor desiring your touch to extinguish my consciousness til the morrow comes.

The intoxicating sensuality of love making conjure it's presence from time to time....only paling in comparison to the mere exhaustion of the act of living.

Often times...

Sleep is like an elusive labyrinth of mazes that hinder your escape from the dream state that goes along with the rejuvenation of the body I so desperately crave.

So, I seek you during the day when others toil and struggle with life's trivial pursuits. I don't envy the day walkers....for it is the night that solicits my presence like the beckoning call of a lover to his companion.

I rouse and come alive. Listening to the sounds that only the night possesses. Sounds held captive in it's infinite darkness.

I love the peace....My reasoning and logic are more coherent. Distraction has no place here. I can find myself during these hours

Lucidity flows in the Cimmerian shade.

Perspective...

2011-11-05T04:34:00.000-05:00

I Am Worthy...

2011-11-02T05:05:00.002-05:00

Your attention is intoxicating.....momentarily.
Your words spoken so sullenly and (in)sincerely regarding your current situation move me.

Your presence enraptures my flesh but leaves my soul cold and lonely as soon as you depart; for you haven't touched my soul, brother; only the shell it inhabits.

You whisper sweet nothings and shower me with adoration; whilst white washing the true aesthetically pleasing canvas of your life.

You feed me the bones as you ravenously devour my ability to see past your facade.

Highest praise to the Almighty for the brevity of your illusion.
I'm grounded yet again; alone and empty but filled with the promise of fulfillment.

Heart tattered; memory tainted; ability to trust fleeting as I search in the blinding density of the midnight fog for my self worth; suddenly remembering it was with me all along. I merely cast it aside and allowed you, or the figment of my imagination that was you, to feel the void.

And you still couldn't feel/fill it. Illusions aren't real. A dream only last for a night.

I'm awake and

The epiphany is realized. I AM worthy. I am WORTHY.

I AM WORTHY.......you are not....

When You're Afraid to Love (Excerpts from the writings of David Hammond)

2011-10-30T00:06:00.000-05:00

Love makes you vulnerable, but that's the beauty of it. The sum of the pain, uncertainty and potential all wrapped up together is like a kid opening a gift Christmas morning.

....My intent on conversing with you is to awaken these desires and to spark the conversation of appreciation of the simple most astounding gift given to man. LOVE. Though we use the word often, many of us don't do it because we've resigned ourselves to a time of life when things didn't work out. We've got to find courage to venture again.

People don't know how to love, and when they see it's residue they envy it. Sometimes to a point of jealousy. I'm not afraid to express, I will live and that's my declaration. No more trapping what's inside for the sake of settling. I want it in it's fullness and I will have it. Hopefully some will learn to engage without reservation and if rejected still love themselves sooo much that they will see that the other has lost what was most precious.

I now live to laugh and interact with others in a more balanced way. Everybody's not in that place, but I am at this point in my life and I enjoy it. I almost died the other way and now that I'm out of the box, I don't plan on returning.

- David

King David

2011-10-28T17:27:00.001-05:00

The power of the written word is amazing...or perhaps I should say spoken word; for before you can write it...it must manifest and flow from your mind to the pen in hand. A dear friend of mine is truly gifted in his ability to captivate, mesmerize and illustrate through the vivid imagery of his writing just how powerful and enchanting words can be.....

Nothing Even Matters
Be still my love. Lay your weary head upon my chest and let our hearts beat together in eternal bliss. For you are my choosing and I am forever indebted to the heavens for the winds that have hastened you my way. For to love is devine and to be loved is the single most sought after gift known to mankind, and you have blessed me with this honor so I do reciprocate my passion upon you my love.

Amazing David....absolutely Amazing

Just Feel Sort of Obligated.....

2011-09-17T03:03:00.000-05:00

Time flies. And over the last three to four months reality has asserted that it (time) doesn't just fly when you're having fun. It flies regardless.

The present and past can disillusion one into thinking that life, circumstances, and/or situations can't get any worse.

It's not until your unforeseen future replaces your present that you are made painfully aware of just how much worse things can be.

Yet optimism wells up in me like an overflowing cauldron of boiling water unwatched.

It spills over...

This too shall pass.

My love and enthusiasm for writing have been replaced with more pressing issues. Outlining the details won't dictate, direct, or denote the outcome.

Just know that I'm here. The rhythmic, steady beat of my healing, ailing, healing heart assure me of that.

Until I can feel and know that I'm truly whole again, I'll leave you with this.

Some things you must ponder in your heart; not out loud. In other words, don't vent or hint, just pray.

Okay Timothy Bloom - you've made your point!

2011-08-13T13:16:00.000-05:00

AWESOME

Happy Friday Peeps!

2011-08-12T13:45:00.000-05:00

Loving new discoveries. Listen to this one if you don't have anything else to do and have a great weekend!!!

loving the hair BTW!

Matt Damon Defends Teachers

2011-08-07T20:43:00.002-05:00

Believe it or not I just recently....like a week ago...saw Good Will Hunting for the first time - excellent movie. Even though it took me a while to get around to watching this particular movie, I've always been a Matt Damon fan.

I'm really digging him even more after listening to his defense of teachers, one of the most vitally critical, yet virtually thankless and low paying jobs in the professional sector. WHERE WOULD WE BE WITHOUT GOOD TEACHERS PEOPLE? The question of the state of my community's educational and public school system's problems came up just today in an forum I'm a member of. Parents, a large portion of this problem is your fault. Oh, hell yes it is. Your video game console baby sitters. Your spending money on senseless crap instead of tutoring lessons for your children who've fallen behind. Your blatant disregard for what your kids are doing, watching, where they're going and who they're with all impact our society.

These children are OUR FUTURE!!!

Again, thanks Matt for speaking out!!

Well Blow Me Down - Happy Blogoversary to Me!!

2011-08-05T13:38:00.000-05:00

Thanks to a comment left by Teena from Toronto I was surprisingly reminded of what today is.....

It's been two years since I started this blog and four years since I created my very first blog.

Awwww.... I feel so warm and sentimental. Here's a link to my first post on this blog and the navigation bar up top consists of a section I've labeled Faves.

Click to find some of (in my opinion) my best work.

Thanks guys for putting up with my rants, silliness, pity parties and of course... MY HAIR!!!

Same time next year? You betcha!!!

Is My Hair Really That Much of An Issue

2011-08-04T11:03:00.000-05:00

I must admit I've been approached with the question: Can I touch it? But seriously is there truly a fascination with our hair.

There definitely is no other ethnic group in the UNIVERSE with hair like people with African ancestry. It's kinky, tightly coiled, can be difficult to grow and manage and yes, it's nappy. Go ahead - it's okay to embrace that word as long as

.....headed hoe is not trailing along behind it, Mr. Imus!

For me fascination is too strong a term. My theory is that people are so unaccustomed to seeing our hair in it's natural state until when they do it seems foreign, strange.... so totally different than the norm - long, straight, silky. And let me share a little secret with you....

Women of color do not have straight, silky hair. Sure, our textures span from one end of the spectrum to the other but there are going to be some curls, kinks, bends, waves, etc. (if it's natural).

Mine has grown tremendously. It's getting to be quite a chore just to manage it. I've not been feeling the best lately. So, I was considering whacking every bit of it off. Then I decided to ride it out. Take my time and not just take better care of me on the inside. But show just as much love to me on the outside.

After all, I am worth it.

SN: Yesterday was my 2 month anniversary SMOKE FREE!!!!!!!!!!

POTS - Seriously?

2011-07-30T12:09:00.000-05:00

My local cardiologist and EP Cardiologist seem to think I have some sort of autonomic nervous system disorder (POTS - Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) which is why my heart rate fluctuates between 60 and 130 with simple position changes.

An appointment at Vanderbilt University Medical Center Dysfunction Autonomic Center is being set up for me in the upcoming weeks.

I'm currently taking meds to stabilize the heart rate and exercising to strengthen lower body muscle and vascular resistance so the heart won't have to pump so hard to meet the physical demands of just "standing up". Something as simple as getting out of bed, standing after sitting in a chair or walking to the sink to brush your teeth can cause severe dizziness, elevated heart rate, fainting, nausea - and I've experienced them all (except fainting).

But God desires that we call those things that be not, as though they were. (Romans 4:17).

So today I ask you to join me in rebuking any sickness, infirmity or disorders of any kind in my body. I'm claiming optimal health, longevity, peace of mind, love of my family, fellow man and my Lord and Savior. - Amen and Thank you :')

Missed The Google Pagerank Update!

2011-07-08T22:12:00.000-05:00

Way back when I blogged obsessively about backlinks, increasing your readership, and other little tips to help you blog better. I found it kind of rewarding to share with people all the things I'd learned about blogging over the years.

But writing about the same boring stuff day after day... post after post wasn't rewarding at all. I wanted to talk about my life, my dreams, my divorce, my struggles. So, I chunked the I think I'm an SEO genius cap for a more suitable one - just being me.

But....

I still get excited whenever I hear or see that Google has updated website/blog pageranks. To most it doesn't mean much but I love watching that little green meter grow. Unless you're into selling advertising space or competing in a certain niche to be the #1 site... it really isn't that big of a deal.

I'm just weird like that. So, with all that being said/typed.... Congratulations to me. I went from a pagerank of 3 to 4. Yay!!!

Did anyone else notice any change?

"I Will Wait For You"

2011-07-08T06:02:00.003-05:00

Haven't heard anything quite this powerful in a long time. This young woman is a poetic, lyrical and open mic genius with a message worth giving ear to.

I Hate Sagging Pants With A Passion... But Seriously?

2011-06-24T15:22:00.001-05:00

He Touched My Heart

2011-06-16T04:39:00.000-05:00

Jeremiah 29:13 says You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

Around 2 o' clock last Thursday morning (June 9th) I was jolted awake from an extremely sound sleep by a heart rate of about 145bpm (beats per minute). A normal heart rate is around 60-100 and when you're sound asleep, as one would imagine, it's much closer to the lower end.

For the sake of time, let me be brief.

I was admitted to three different emergency rooms that day.

I rode in the back of two different ambulances that day.

I thought my life was going to end that day.

I began to pray to God for the first time in a long time that day.

I asked God to heal me; mind, body and soul that day.

During the next few days even more amazing things happened.

And on Monday morning (June 13th) a surgeon threaded catheters/wires into the chambers of my heart to correct the problem that had been discovered.

This was no ordinary surgeon. He was a man that had been commissioned by God since creation to be the one God would work through to heal Hattie Roschelle Hoskins-Nelson (her friends call her Roschelle or Corky).

If I ever have an opportunity to tell you the whole story, it is one that will make the hair on the back of your neck rise to life, goosebumps will form on your skin, tears will fill your eyes and you will know as I now know (without a doubt or any reservation) that GOD IS REAL.

For all of you who were aware of what I was going through, thank you for your prayers, kind, positive thoughts, words of encouragement and well wishes. For those who were completely unaware, thank you just the same for being a part of my life. I thought of my life (and all of you) and how precious (good and bad) every aspect of it has been and I nor the Almighty were ready for me to part with it.

India's Song Is My Song Too

2011-06-01T11:58:00.000-05:00

Legacy - something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past; Pride - A feeling of pleasure from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired; Lineage - direct descent from an ancestor, esp a line of descendants from one ancestor...

Sigh....

As large as the continent of Africa is, it is not; nor will it ever be enough to simply speculate about the notion that this place... this foreign... completely unfamiliar land mass holds the mystery and history of my origin.

Perhaps that's why black Americans have such a disconnect with Africans or other black Americans, for that matter. We have no past. We have no connection to our heritage. For the most part, our heritage begins with the rapidly fleeting "old plantation" stories once shared by the old aunts, grandmothers, grandfathers and uncles who've transcended this life and those important spoken glimpses into our past most likely died with them.

Was it Ghana, Nigeria, Sierra Leone...or could it have been Cameroon or Senegal.

Like any other continent...the people that live in different countries, territories and regions vary in customs, traditions, and physical characteristics.

Who am I? Where am I from? How did I get here? What's my story?

Curiosity definitely got the best of me a few months back. So, I joined Ancestry.com. Surprisingly, I was able to trace my family tree back to my Great-grandmother's grandfather.

His name was Beverly Hope, born on a plantation in Tallulah, MS in 1820. His mother was from Georgia and his father was from North Carolina.

Sadly, when I attempted to find them the old documents changed. The categorizing of my family went from listings that included names.... to my family being listed as property...like a wood stove or livestock.

Grandfather Beverly's mother could have been BLACK FEMALE, 28 or MULATTO FEMALE, 32 or BLACK FEMALE, 18. There's something heartbreaking and numbing about glancing into the past and realizing people... my family...were chattel.

....nothing more.

Please don't mistake this post as anything other than what it is.... a thought that haunts me from time to time. A hypothesis as to the reason so many of my young black sisters and brothers seem lost and void of direction.... I didn't say all. I said many. A question I quietly beseech an answer from God about from time to time.

I heard India's Song this morning and realized it's not just India's Song...

....it's my song too. And I'm grateful for the power of her words.