Nicky Da B just gave me life…and a LOT of ass visuals. NSFW. But get into it anyway.

6 life crises. 6 leather jackets. Makes perfect sense.

I never wanted to be the woman so tied up in her kid’s life that she ends up not having one of her own. And so I blog. Still. It keeps me balanced and it’s nice to know some of you care enough to still read. Hi. Thanks.

This would be more appropriate in August when my lil corner of the internet turns 5. Maybe I’ll repost it then.

As for the boy, he’s almost two. He counts and recognizes letters – only capital letters, but still. Just now, he found Bubble Guppies in the Time Warner app with no assistance and is celebrating this achievement by bouncing wildly and applauding himself. I am rearing one of several technologically advanced super babies and it’s sort of freaking me out.

ag.Jc earrings

It’s tough to pull off simple and interesting at once.  This line balances the two quite well.

Hudson ‘Juliette’ jeans, Jean-Michel Cazabat shoes

Feeling like I’m hitting my stride.  I’ve gotten a lot better at choosing things that make me feel like I don’t need to go looking for anything else. Quest enders, if you will. I’m set for black jeans and pumps for a very long time.

It feels good to be back in a groove (of sorts); to flow; to finally have accepted that work is crazy, my husband and child are crazy, and I will probably never sleep a full 8 hours for the next several years. This acceptance could be fueled by delusion, juicing, or just saying ‘fuck it,’ but I’m far less stressed than I was 6 months ago.

Ann-Sofie Back sunglasses, Originators shirt, vintage belt, Diesel jeans, Zara sandals

I get asked about this shirt every time I wear it.  I got it off the back of a friend of mine in exchange for photography, but you can find it and several others here.

I can explain.

I had to go in for my annual cervix poking and was forced to shave my legs in preparation. I can’t be the only one who does this. Anyway, since I can’t let shaven legs go to waste, I put on another dress. And a beanie – standard issue to keep things from looking too…girlie…especially since this is technically a high-low hemmed jawn made of a fluttery blend of fabrics.

*shudders*

Obesity+Speed beanie / T by Alexander Wang sweater / Kara Laricks x Macy’s dress / rag & bone boots

Do any of you guys watch Fashion Star on NBC? I love that show. For reasons. This dress is from the Macy’s line that Kara Laricks designed after winning the first season. I wasn’t too gung-ho about going out and buying the ‘looks’ from anyone on the show, but when I saw this online, it was marked down a ridiculous amount (I got it and the jumpsuit for under $15…BOF’UHM…together…#swag). I couldn’t say no. During the show, Kara made a much fancier version for Saks that I fell in love with. The $300+ price tag? Not so much. This was a much cheaper way to live the dream.

Speaking of living the dream, I am once again the victim of identity theft. A whole-hearted and hearty “FUCK YOU” to the goat-mouthed muhfucka in Montreal using my account number to go HAM in Maxi and Super C Pie IX. I hope millions of roaches and ants invade your yard. A PLAGUE OF INSECTS UPON YOUR HOUSES.

Rossmore Staple earrings

My new favorite things to wear. Daily. Get them here.

Gap jacket, AE shirt, Hudson jeans, Rossmore earrings, necklace, & rings

Dusting off a few old chestnuts since my house is still not in order. Have I told you how much I hate the moving process? I don’t think I can effectively communicate through words how much this sucks. Thankfully, I’ve got a few more Rossmore trinkets to keep my mind off the never-ending drudgery that is sorting through and packing up years and years and years worth of shit.

I swear I’m going minimalist after the dust has settled.

We the Tribe sweatshirt, Current Elliot pants, JM Cazabat shoes

Wearing my favorite sweatshirt and trying to step outside of the denim box. I don’t think I’ve worn these pants since Hoggie was an infant (jeez!). The shoes I don’t wear nearly as much as I’d like to. I still think these are the most perfect pair of pumps in existence; they have that whole unfussy, minimal, no platform thing I was going on about in the previous post.

And speaking of the previous post, let me tell you all about that bug problem I mentioned…

*sigh*

Ok, so the temperature here is starting to rise, and it’s about the time for the ants of L.A. to make their way into people’s homes in search of water. Normal. We put down some ant bait and wait for the scouts to not come back inside. Heh. The next day, a swarm is at the window. Then there’s a swarm in the back. Dudeguy, thinking this odd, dutifully purchases a can of Raid and sources where the ants are coming from. He’d removed some old posts to put a new fence up a couple of weeks ago and saw that the ants were coming from the hole. He sprays inside of the hole and ALL OF THE SIX LEGGED CREATURES OF THE WORLD start POURING UP and OUT of it. Ants everywhere. Roaches of various sizes everywhere. It looked just like that part in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom where the screamy blonde chick had to reach inside of that bug filled tunnel to keep the wall of spikes from crushing Indy and that little Asian kid.

You remember.

So yes. Disgusting. Insects pouring up out of the ground and spazzing and dying from the Raid. Hundreds of them. He finds another hole where a post had been. Sprays inside the hole. Another swarm.

Now he’s wondering whether or not we should seek out the person who hexed the house. He asks the neighbor what the deal was. Apparently, there was a gopher problem a few years ago and an exterminator came out and…exterminated them. Trouble is, gophers, being the ground dwelling creatures they are, do not surface when exterminated. They die in their network of tunnels and then decay and then attract ALL OF THE SIX LEGGED CREATURES OF THE WORLD to come and feast on the remains. They then breed and turn your backyard into a huge nest of awful, creeping, crawling things that will eventually make their way to the inside of your house when it’s hot outside.

I haven’t slept a decent night since this happened because I think the house is going to suddenly fall into the ground and that I will be eaten alive by insects.

This is a completely rational line of thought.

I am a wholehearted believer in the “Hov did that, so hopefully you won’t have to go through that” school of thought, so here is a lesson for all of you lovies. If you are buying a house, never trust flippers, make sure the countertops are level, and check all of the inspection reports for signs of there ever being gophers on the property. If there ever were, chances are high that you live on top of a kingdom of insects that is waiting for your house to collapse so they can eat you. Or something like that.

I would gladly throw my ‘I don’t really wear sandals’ ideology out of the window for these.  At least, I think I would.  Such a beautifully minimal pair of shoes; not fussy, no crazy platforms, and covered heels (you know I have a thing about that…).  However, SLP price tags are not what’s hot in these streets.  I just found out I have a huge bug problem in the backyard…$795 would buy a lot of Raid.

We’ll see what their close cousins have to offer since I’m not paying Parisian prices for this particular experiment.  And while I’m conflicted about buying things from Zara /shoes when I now have utility bills / anything right now, something tells me that I really should have a pair of black sandals.  This ‘thing’ may or may not be the same that advised me that Acne Atacomas were a sound shoe investment I would be wearing for years to come, but…you know…YOLO.  And I should probably make the most of having shaven legs this quarter.

Moving has been a long, arduous process.  So long and arduous, that I’ve been unable to cope through excessive planning and list making as per usual. This has left me with very little in the way of clothing I like to wear (because without a plan in place, all the good shit was left at the other house), and I’ve been forced to pull from the ‘not oft used’ pile.  This dress (all dresses, actually) was in this pile.  I’m not a huge fan of dresses.  Dresses require shaven legs, and I’m not really about that life.

Macklemore’d dress, Zara scarf

Remind me to never move again. Ever.

Everything about this is just so right.

I need hats.

Luv AJ necklace

This one for them toddlers
Them bad ones on the playground
Shout out to moms that bring ‘em
Got the sippy cups when we need ‘em
Drank some milk and I’m sleepin’ (WOO!)
Drank some milk and I’m sleepin’ (WOO!)
Momma always tellin’ me, “boy take off my necklace!”
But I don’t hear none of that, I’m on Instagram straight flexin’

My baby needs to stop listening to Trinidad James when I’m not home…

NYC Paris shirt, Diesel jeans, not Céline shoes

No one got the joke.  =(

In other news, pork pie hats are the jam and I finally have a blank wall.  It’s lavender and we all will have to deal.