“There is no weakness talking about failure.”

Man, I love this quote by Jon Favreau. He caught my attention at first last year while reading an article about Obama the day before I was on CBC’s Test the Nation.

You know when you see these scenes in movies– almost every movie has one– where you see someone in a weak moment, either doing something they’d never do in public, or in a moment of weakness or loneliness, something like that.

Those moments make you feel closer to the character and understand them more, don’t they? So why don’t we learn from that? Why can’t we be weak in real life?

We’ve all had those moments where we’ve broken down and told someone something we’d been keeping to ourselves, something we felt embarrassed about. We’ve also all been in a place where someone has confessed something to us. The same thing always happens– it breaks down barriers and brings people closer to each other.

You know, showing weakness in a public setting (like a blog, or on television) also displays strength. It means you’re confident enough that you can handle it, and shows people that you’re big enough to talk about your mistakes. Strong people man up to their failures. Weak people don’t.

So when and how should you admit things? Should it be strategic? I don’t know that it can be.

It can’t be planned. As I say regularly, human beings have sophisticated bullshit filters, so we can see when something is genuine. We feel it. And we also feel it when it’s fake.

So exposing your neck has to be spontaneous. But it can’t be stupid. Don’t become a train wreck, just realize that there’s a goodness in people that comes out when they see the human frailty in all of us.

Just do it. It’ll be ok.

Everybody needs a Craig Silverman.

I’ve just started going to a neighbourhood Crossfit gym. My roommate had been into the system for a while (which is like an intense, military-style workout that pushes you FAR beyond your comfort zone), and I’d been once, but I was slacking until Craig called me up last month to tell me he’d be going.

So I went with Craig that first time, and I’ve been back several times since. Why? Because he exerts just the right amount of social pressure.

It’s so important to have a support network for any change you’re trying to achieve in your life. But if you can’t have a whole group, you at least need one person– someone who will harass the hell out of you to make sure you’ll do it, especially until it becomes a habit.

So how does Craig do it? Here’s how today’s conversation Twitter went, just to give you an example:

Craig: “so 5pm today, right?”

Me: “fuuuuuck FINE”

Craig: “atta girl”

There it is. Bullying? Check. Insulting? Check. Accusation of wussiness? Yup, that’s there too.

You could never treat your child like this, or your girlfriend/boyfriend like this, but you know what? Sometimes it’s necessary.

You need to be that person, or find them. You’ll be happy you did.

Oh and Craig, I hate you.

I was stopped in the subway yesterday by some rent-a-cops. It was a bit jarring.

It was at Square-Victoria metro around 2pm, and they were doing “random checks” of people’s subway passes. I don’t know if this has ever happened to you, but it can be a strange feeling getting stopped by people who think they’re law enforcement, but really are not.

I’ve always distrusted police, so that didn’t help.

So I’m looking this guy straight in the eye as I pass him my card. He checks it and lets me go. No problem. I imagine this is a bit what being in a police state feels like– being able to be stopped at any time and asked for identification for any reason. I leave with my privacy feeling a bit invaded. Weird.

Papers Please

A lot of people think they hold power over you in certain contexts. I met Jessamyn West this weekend, and she talked about how she was stopped in a library in Des Moines for taking pictures. When she asked why, there was no reason– it was just “against policy.” Go figure. What happened afterwards is worth reading.

The thing is, rule makers often have good reasons for creating them. I was stopped in the subway because a lot of people are probably jumping the turnstiles or something. So it makes sense for them to check my card, I guess. (This is a bit like the RIAA piracy thing– accusing all of your paying customers of theft before a film to try and dissuade the occasional real thief, and alienating everyone else in the process.)

Anyway, the disconnect occurs when the rules are passed on to the enforcers– those who wear the uniforms, carry the badges and do the rounds. They don’t often understand why things were put into place, and even if they do, the power can get to their heads. So rules get generalized into these broad, absurd caricatures of themselves.

The reason I distrust police is precisely that– I feel like people look at rules and categorically follow them, blindly trusting that they’re being led in the right direction when they’re often being taken advantage of. If you step out of line, you’re seen as a having done something wrong even though you may actually know better. So we instead relinquish this power a little bit at a time, until it becomes habitual, destroying our personal sovereignty in the process.

The most powerful weapon against rule enforcers is the word WHY. We get trained out of using it very young because our parents get annoyed at it– and they got annoyed at it because they often don’t know the answer themselves. The real reason your parents want you to clean your room may be because they think a messy room is ugly, but they don’t say that– they’ll instead guilt you into doing it as if having a messy room is morally wrong. But it isn’t. It’s a choice.

Jumping the turnstiles is also a choice. So is saying no to rent-a-cops. So make your choices based on your own moral compass and ideas, not based on what the enforcers are telling you. That’s a hard thing, but it’s worth it.

You gotta be you.

The other week I was hanging out at a bar with a few friends and someone asked me about a project.

Basically the idea was this– how to build a community around a filmmaker so that they could thereafter fund a film project if they thought it had merit. (A little bit like Kickstarter does now.)

I explained that this was what Chris was (and is) able to do. That’s the power of the platform– to direct attention wherever you’d like it to be, compounding the chances of success for each of your successive projects.

Anyway, my friend was unconvinced. But another was like “Have you ever read his book?” (Like most good friends, almost no one there had.) :) But then Eric, the one that had read it, said something in such a clear way that it’s changed the way I think about it myself. He said:

“Listen, imagine all of your friends get phones. What are you going to do, sit around waiting for a letter all day? Or are you going to get a phone?”

I’ve now totally internalized this idea– and told Eric that I was grateful he wasn’t on the web a lot, or he would have my job. ;)

The way I think about it is this– when people think of a project they want to do, they go out and try to rouse interest and meet people that are doing it. I mean, it’s only natural, right? Go find people that can help.

The only thing is, it doesn’t work.

What does work is to build something with a large network early, before you need it. Meet all kinds of people, no matter who they are. Be generous all the time, before you ever need anything. Go where the people are beforehand, and you’ll know them well if the time comes where you’re in need.

All of this relates extremely well to careers, btw.

Think about it another way. When you go to a house party, do you just go to the fridge and grab a bunch of beer? Or do you bring your own to the party? How you’re seen will depend on what kind of person you are. Decide accordingly.

It’s so interesting.

I try to discount the many reviews of the book Chris and I wrote (both positive and negative) because I think hype can really mess up your head. It’s always better not to read your own press; I do read it, I just try not to believe it.

But this was an Editor’s Pick. So it’s kind of different and it feels special. I looked up the ones that were picked in the last few years in the same categories– here’s some of what they’d chosen in the past:

Purple Cow – So classic that Hugh McLeod did a print of it.

Blue Ocean Strategy – Amazing book, displays so clearly how to differentiate yourself. I can’t recommend this enough.

The Long Tail – Speaks for itself.

Made To Stick – I brought this book to Boston with me while we were writing ours, took heavy inspiration from its methods and model. It’s incredible.

Anyway, pretty great list, right?

It makes me kind of feel like I did something really good, that I can really be proud of. I was always happy to have completed the book obviously, but having it sit there adds a certain je ne sais quoi and makes me feel like it’ll have some staying power, which is really important. :)

Have you guys noticed yet that I love birds?

I’ve just gotten back from a few trips, including NOLA for Tribecon and up North in Quebec for BitNorth. Both were really cool events.

It’s become pretty evident over the time I’ve spent at conferences that your level of achievement is intimately connected to your social circle. I’m reading Connected right now, which strongly proves this with a number of examples, including how your friends get fat if you do, how much happier they are if you’re happy, etc.

In fact, it’s pretty crazy how much your friends (and their friends) influence you, which is why “Connected” is the perfect title for the book. But what can we do about it?

In my speech at Tribecon, what I suggest is that it’s your duty to lead your network to better achievement, whether losing weight, quitting smoking, or building a business.

What does this imply? Well, if you’re influenced by your network, but you’re first to change, it means you’ll encounter resistance, both internal and external. You won’t only make it tough on yourself (by breaking old habits), but other people’s habits will reinforce your old ones.

Second, maybe it means you need to spend more time with people that are already what you want to be like. This doesn’t mean don’t spend time with your friends, but if you want to be a writer, spend time with those that do it often. You’ll be hearing about it from them and it’ll encourage you in a number of ways. Then, you can bring that encouragement to your peer group.

Think of the way geese fly in that classic V-shape. The lead bird always encounters more wind resistance, making it easier to be in the back than the front. But if no one want to take the front, no one will get anywhere.

So all this stuff isn’t easy. Patterns reinforce themselves. Do you have any tricks to help you persevere in your goals?

The title was “Using the Web to Enhance Your Brand.” I don’t know that much about branding but the session was pretty awesome to do. To all of you that are joining from G&M.com, hello and thanks for checking me out. I have a bunch of great stuff below, and you can subscribe by RSS by clicking above.

For all y’all that didn’t get a chance to participate, we discussed a number of important issues about social media, search marketing, and how to promote a prog rock band. Oh and let’s not forget Twitter, Twitter, Twitter, and Twitter.

Hype dies. The channel does not.

The problem with your 15 minutes is that it will end. Especially if you’re renting other people’s attention, it won’t last forever. You’ll become a has-been very quickly if this is all you do.

For a long time, I didn’t blog or podcast very much. I just worked on my own stuff, in private, and didn’t develop my platform. I realized recently that it wasn’t a smart decision.

It was a mistake, because no amount of hype will ever carry you forward all the way to where you want to go. You need to own a strong, popular channel. No one will ever give you one forever. You need to build one. To do anything else is to be at the mercy of other people’s whims.

Those of you that are bloggers, think of all the PR pitches you get every day. Why are you getting them? Because people are throwing money at the problem– they’re trying to create hype instead of a platform. They’re throwing money at the problem– buying bags of smoke that often result in nothing.

Even if you do blog about one of their widgets, that hype will die. It’s inevitable. And it’ll leave them needing to throw more money at the problem next time they need more attention.

Seems like a vicious cycle, doesn’t it?

Rather than rent, the real way to freedom and power is to buy everything. Simple examples include buying a house so you don’t have to pay rent, buying a car so you don’t have to pay cabs, etc. Everyone can relate to that.

But the renting you do is leaving you at the same place you started, sometimes even digging you into a hole (in terms of money, favours, etc). The buying, on the other hand, is helping you accumulate advantage and facilitating leverage fore future projects.

The good thing is that the web allows you to buy a platform with your time– what people usually call sweat equity. Potentially, you can do that in real life, too– by building your own house, say. But the web is one of the easiest places to do it.

This is only one of the reasons why working on the web facilitates your rise to wherever you want to go. But there are many, many more.

Sometimes you come across a challenge that is very difficult for you to live with.

It could be a disability, a problem with your spouse, or any number of complicated affairs that happen to everyone, all throughout life.

The natural answer to this question is “Why me? I have enough problems, why this right now?” (Side note: You ever notice how it’s never the right time?)

Anyway, we feel like this problem is really annoying, and we don’t know how to handle it. We hope it isn’t as bad as we expected it would be, or that if we ignore it, it’ll just go away. If we’re lucky, it does.

But is that really luck?

We’re only as good as the problems we overcome. Think of those lottery winners who end up in bankruptcy– they didn’t have to struggle for the problem of managing small amounts of money, so they don’t know how to deal with massive sums, either.

It’s the same thing with any other situation you come across. Those that can’t deal with it call it a problem, while those that can don’t even consider it a problem at all. Your job is to become that second kind of person.

One of my favourite books is Man’s Search For Meaning– Viktor Frankl wrote it after getting out of Auschwitz (and many other camps) during World War II. In it, he says:

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Somewhere in the future, on the other side of your problem, there is a future version of you that’s going, “Man, I still have to deal with this problem– why won’t it go away?”

Or, along another line, there is another version of you that’s saying, “Thank God I figured out how to take care of that. I’m in such a better place now.”

The difference is choice.

So choose.

When I started to lose my hearing, I freaked out a lot.

I quit a lot of groups I went to– public speaking groups, capoeira, a lot of other stuff– because I wasn’t hearing what was going on properly anymore. Either that, or they were really loud, and I was afraid of hurting my ears more. It was tough.

That was about 3 years ago– I’ve leveled off now. Sometimes I hear new sounds, and that’s really scary. I realized that if I’m hearing new stuff, it means that there could be new sounds anytime, leading me to consider how bad this could really get. That could mean becoming isolated– after all, conversation is one of the main things that brings people together. What happens when you miss out on that?

All this brings new perspective. You’re freaking out at first because it’s so new, and the first moments where you’re suffering are always worse than whatever you become accustomed to. Eventually, you look at what’s going on in your life and you think “You know what, this isn’t so bad.”

And actually, it isn’t. I have a pretty good life.

The body does break down as we age– this much is true for everyone. I feel like for me, small parts of it have decided to go a bit early. That’s no problem. I think it’s made me more resilient and prepared for change. I know what it’s like to get old, I just have that earlier than a lot of normal people. I’m ok with this.

Tomorrow, the day after, or anytime after that, any number of terrible things could happen, without warning. We can’t focus on those possibilities, because it can paralyze us. We have to take advantage of what we have now.

I have this quote on a magnet on my fridge:

Be Thankful For This Moment– This Moment Is Your Life

Whatever your situation is, there is only one answer: “Ok, so this is how things are. This is what I have to work with. So be it.” Like, imagine you’ve been arrested. You don’t fight with the cops, you just do what you can, once you can do it, right? Getting argumentative about it will just make it worse. It’s the same with life.

Or maybe I’ve been watching too many episodes of the Wire, I dunno. It makes sense to me.

As a result of hearing loss that I’ve developed over the years, there are a few things missing from my world that are likely present in yours. What are they?

First, here’s what do I have that you do not: A loud, high-pitch ringing that is unceasing. I hear it 24 hours a day, without end. I have pretty close to state-of-the-art hearing aids to compensate for this. They’re made by Siemens, go inside my ears. Most people don’t notice them, which is exactly how I like it.

Next year, I’ll probably move to Bluetooth ones that will let me talk on the phone and hear my iPod without plugging myself in. That, I’m guessing, will be totally awesome.

Anyway, one of the things that people don’t recognize is that I can hear quite well almost 90% of the sounds around me. I can hear most frequencies fine, but here’s the real concern: the frequencies I have lost are the most subtle ones in human speech.

You may never have realized that there is very little difference to the human ear between cat and hat, but I do. All the differences between C and H are around the frequency I don’t have. So I confuse words a lot.

I compensate for this with context. A cat doesn’t go on your head; a hat does. Context is deeply important to me because it helps me make sense of what’s being said to me every day. Environmental noise like the ones that happen in bars, on the street, or in restaurants can be exhausting, because I need to concentrate to hear properly.

Another thing that I miss out on is stuff like birds, crickets, or other natural sounds. Those things, I really miss. There’s a lot of subtlety that I don’t catch because of the way I hear. Maybe one day technology will help me out with getting all this stuff back; might be a while, but it’ll be worth it.

Not sure why I decided to write about this today, but I never have before, so it’s kind of refreshing. Sometimes it’s interesting to look at life from someone else’s point of view. Maybe you learned something. Anyway, see you next time.

Check next time you’re traveling. You’ll notice every staircase, anywhere in the world, looks exactly the same.

Stand at the top. What do you see? Parts of the staircase are worn away, in two rows, going from the top to the bottom.

This is because every person coming in and out drags their feet in exactly the same manner. They walk up the side of the staircase and, after many years, you get grooves where thousands of pedestrians have walked.

Wanna know another word for the groove?

The Rut

Patterns are so easy to fall into that we don’t even notice we’re in them. Even if we do notice, we don’t really know what to change.

“Ok, everyone’s behaving this way. What do I do now?” It’s far from obvious.

There’s also all these reasons for not being different– social pressure being a huge one. “Omg, what will people think?”

Worse than that is that when someone steps out of a pattern, they usually step right into yet another pre-existing one. That’s why alternative kids all dress the same.

Or butt marks on staircases’ rails where everyone decides they’re going to slide down, instead of walk.

The World is Losing Its Wildness

There are no uncharted spaces anymore, no hinterlands, are there? 19th century explorers had the Arctic; in the 20th century they had the moon. What about us?

Psychologically it’s a bit the same. How does someone become different, become themselves? Or are we recognizing that there is no new way, only many different acceptable ways to be different? Is that a good thing?

Are you walking down a staircase? You should at least be conscious of the pattern you’re in. You may want to change it, just because. The ability to adapt is healthy. It’ll get you to think differently, even if only a bit.

Or hey, if you’re going to travel the same path as everyone else… you may as well do it without dragging your feet.

The official answer to anyone who tells you that they have a blog is (say it with me now):

“Oh, so what do you complain about?”

Man, there are so many good reasons to say this. Let’s name a few to make sure we’re on the same page, ok?

1. You don’t have to hear them go on and on about their blog. This is actually the most important reason– anyone who thinks their blog is a big deal needs to be cut down to size a little bit. If you need another topic of conversation, may I suggest how totally awesome Twitter is?
2. They won’t complain in their next post. So basically, the whole blogosphere is made slightly better every time you say it. Do it enough and I think it’ll raise the mood/consciousness of the whole planet. I’m not kidding.
3. They may stop complaining on their blog altogether. Some blogs, let’s face it, are about 50% customer service complaints, 30% top ten lists, 15% complaining about A-list bloggers, and a few other percentage points separated among the other usual suspects (your cat, etc). You don’t need a blog for this. Everyone knows complaining is what Twitter is for.
4. They may never bring up their blog again. One of the great things about this tac-nuke of a response is that it will cause people to become afraid of it– and they’ll stop bringing up their blog entirely. Try asking about someone’s non-web life instead– that way you may actually get to know them instead of trying to get out of the conversation because all they’re talking about is web crap.

Do you see the problem here? We have these stupid habits we fall back on every time we meet someone new in this space. Like “What do you do?” they’ve become the routines we use when we run out of stuff to say, but everyone uses the same ones, so all they do is bore people.

There are many other conversations we need to wipe out of tech-conference circles.

Which ones are you sick of?

It’s taken me a long time to figure it out, but I realize now that I adore reading.

For over 2 years now, I’ve been attempting to read a book every week. This year, for the first time, I’m going to succeed. I’m only now realizing what a tremendous impact a ton of reading has had on me over the past few years, and that I never want to go without this growth ever again.

It happened slowly. One day in early 2007, my girlfriend at the time offered it to me as a challenge. I started with an early Salman Rushdie book, then moved to The Search. I didn’t know what this was turning into, but I have a feeling now that it’s about developing a habit of completion.

The ability to compulsively finish whatever you started, all the time, whatever it happens to be, no matter its difficulty.

The way to do this is to look at the bigger picture. When you visualize having finished this book, or finished 52 books this year, you see your life from the future, reminiscing upon a completed goal. That helps you continue past any boredom you might be feeling now.

Eventually the reading itself, the larger goal of knowledge, becomes the real point. That takes time, but when you get there, and you realize how much all the books you’ve read have helped your critical thinking and developed your ideas, it becomes easy to make that decision to start every day by reading those 40 pages. This is likely the same when you look at weight you’ve lost by regularly working out or eating less, for example.

Then, as time goes on, this habit of completion can hopefully work itself into the rest of your life. Still working on that, but hey, we did finish a book, so I guess I’m part of the way there. :)

The other thing is that books contain pretty much all the knowledge and wisdom in the whole world– not just for today, but for all of history. It’s in an imperfect form right now, what with books being out of print and all the problems of limited distribution, etc., but over time, that’ll be solved. So I see books as direct conduits to the past, and the most reliable way that we have to receive important information from other people, living or dead.

When you think about it that way, why would you only ever restrict yourself to the knowledge of the people you happen to know? Even if you know a lot of people, you can grab a lot more out of life by reading a bunch of books. Give it a shot.

I give change to pretty much everyone that asks for it on the street. This includes street performers.

It’s a habit I’ve developed since briefly working for Homeless Nation, an organization that has gotten a lot of accolades over the years for its work in Canadian cities on behalf of their homeless population.

Today though, I want to talk about one particular incident– at Plaza l’Enfant Station in 2007, one cold January morning in Washington, a young violinist is playing. He’s wearing a Nationals baseball cap. In one hour, 1,097 people pass him by. He makes $32.

What makes this one different?

“No one knew this, but the violinist was Joshua Bell, one of the greatest musicians in the world. He played one of the most intricate pieces ever written, with a violin valued at $3.5 million dollars. Two days before, Joshua Bell sold out a theatre in Boston where the price of seats averaged $100.”

Marko sent me the video today. Watch it.

Context Is King

You’ve heard this before, it isn’t news. People rehash “Content is King” into all sorts of phrases to prove whatever point they please, again and again (it’s the mashing-up of culture). But I’d like to take this one a bit further.

The content you’re producing is the same whether it’s on a blog, in a book, on a stage, or being broadcast from space. There are millions of brilliant ideas being uttered right now in the privacy of people’s homes that won’t be written down, and won’t ever be heard again.

You may not think this, but you are in media. Whether you have a blog, use Twitter, or even have a Facebook account, you are part of a media revolution. And as a media personality, your reach depends on one thing only: Sneaking your way onto the largest, most prestigious platform you can find.

If we had written Trust Agents entirely on the web (in the way of the Cluetrain Manifesto, say), would it have reached as many people? Sure, it may even have reached more. But as a book it reaches a different audience and, more importantly, it stands on a different stage.

Either way, the content is exactly the same.

I just finished reading Alain de Botton’s Status Anxiety. It was a great read, but was it made greater by the fact that I first heard of its premise on the TED website? Unquestionably.

Would it have had the same impact if it were a blog? What about if he were heard yelling in the street? Think about it.

Last story. I was at the Contemporary Museum yesterday and saw the Francine Savard exhibit. Some (ok, many) people might dismiss her work as ridiculous and useless– after all, in one series, she literally “paints” the visualization of a hard drive being defragmented. In blue.

But it’s in a huge metropolitan city’s museum.

I’m not here trying to discuss the value of her work– only that all of these are credentials. Because we consider people in power to be largely like us, we assume there must be some value in the decisions they’ve made– whether that’s putting someone’s paintings in a gallery, their words in a book, or giving them time on a stage.

In every case, context imprints either a high or low status on each project.

Your work may be good or bad– that’s your business, not mine. But if you value it, you’re going to have to borrow the status of someone else– get their testimonials, borrow their platform, whatever it takes, until you develop your own. Otherwise you’re just another person with another blog, or trying to make a buck on the street.

Doesn’t matter how good you are. Obviously.

God, this makes me mad.

So, there is this massive selection bias that happens amongst some influencers on the web where they feel that good content will be found on its own. Why do they feel this? The same reason rich people think they deserve their wealth, of course; if they’re on top, they feel that they deserve to be on top– it can’t possibly be accidental!

“I’m up here because my sneaking suspicions are right– I really am amazing just like I always believed!”

But there’s another side to this equation: If some content is not discovered by itself, does that mean it’s not worthy of being discovered? Further, does it mean that all popular web content is worthy of being popular?

Does that seem right to you?

Or is it more likely that some great things are discovered, and others remain in obscurity for other reasons?

Let’s consider the famous JK Wedding Dance video. After all, it just started going viral again this week, so something about this video must be just that great.

I think we can agree that there are probably 50 other videos on Youtube right now that are just as funny as that one. But many of those videos haven’t made it; only the JK wedding dance video did.

What made this one different?

All other things being equal, the only differences between one funny wedding video being found and going viral, and another being forgotten are two things: LUCK and MARKETING.

Luck

Luck is the result of preparation and, well, happenstance I guess. It happens when you prepare for it. If you have someone come to you about a book deal, you may have gotten “lucky” because you were born with a natural ability to write well, or because you’re good at networking and you “prepared” by developing a huge network and you know the right people, say.

But luck isn’t really what we want to talk about here– I just want to include it as a very real, important condition that causes success, to make the argument that it isn’t just the cream that rises to the top, that isn’t always about merit.

Marketing

Marketing is the opposite of luck. It is planned success, deliberately created through strategy and analysis. Obviously it can work– otherwise we wouldn’t have all these systems in place that do their best to ensure a movie, single, or other piece of content gets heard.

Some people feel that some forms of marketing are snake oil and deceptive– they feel you should just let your great content market itself, and “let the rest follow” by telling other people.

Of course, many of these same people know all the web’s A-list influencers, have been on the web forever, or have many other advantages that compound their success.

To them I could ask: “What if you are just starting out, know no one, and weren’t there at the beginning? Do you deserve to be unknown and undiscovered?”

If great content just gets discovered naturally, when does that discovery happen? If your great content hasn’t been discovered yet, does that mean it isn’t worthy, it isn’t good enough? Or do you just have to wait for the right time? If so, how long?

So there’s this guy who keeps praying to win the lottery. He keeps praying every day: “God, please let me win the lottery,” and he does this for years, but he just never wins it. He keeps praying, but one day he gets impatient, and just as he’s about to give up, he’s like “Screw this, I’m done,” and suddenly he hears a booming voice that says: “Listen guy, I’m doing my best, but will you please just buy yourself a bloody ticket!!!”

Those that are successful often feel that they naturally rose to the top due to the naturally meritocratic nature of the web. They want to believe this because it allows them to feel that they deserve to be on top. In reality, they often don’t– sometimes, they’re just on top accidentally. Trust me, I know some of them.

My point is that it’s flawed thinking to believe that your content will naturally rise up. If you wait, you are that guy praying to win the lottery– ie, you’re deluding yourself.

Once you’ve created your great content, please do smart things to market it– go out there and meet people, figure out the systems that will help you get seen, do whatever it takes, please.

Don’t wait to be discovered. Don’t trust what other people tell you. They are not in your position. Only you are.

Only you can judge.

Stacking habits works early in the morning– shower, shave, floss, etc– because they can be easily strung together. The fact that they all happen around the house makes it easier, too.

So I’ve been practicing adding activities into my morning habit, which is where I think they’re most likely to get done. So far, it’s been working. This includes reading, eating an apple, and as many things as I can manage to set up, one after the other.

Submitting to a schedule helps a lot too.

But the big problem is still getting up early. Try as I might, I can’t convince myself to become an early riser. But it turns out late risers might be more creative, so I guess that’s ok. :)

Children are naturally adaptable because that is how humans are born– flexible and curious.

As we grow up though, we become inflexible and rigid in thought. Why isn’t it the opposite?

Here’s my thinking: We should provide a training regimen to keep our minds flexible. It’ll make us better business people and human beings, and will make our world better.

Creativity Training

Edward de Bono taught us that routine thinking destroys creativity. We need tools like Brian Eno’s Oblique Strategies cards and de Bono’s Po to keep us on our toes.

Humans tend to solve problems the same way over and over again, so we need to teach people that the best answer isn’t always the one that comes first. We all need to learn that, once we get one solution, there can (and often is) a better one further along the path… if we keep trying.

Rewarding Adaptability

Those who stay adaptable despite their age need appropriate reward mechanisms that show others that staying flexible is a valuable goal. I don’t know if we can do this financially, but in some ways we’re often doing the opposite– media calling those who change their views flip-floppers, for example, does nothing but start unneeded controversy.

The faster a workforce and a company’s executives is to adapt to a new environment or situation, the faster they can thrive when things are turned around on them. Companies need to incentivize those who move fast.

Overcoming Fear

Humans are naturally submissive in a lot of ways. We habitually look away from people when they look at us, and we shy away from leadership because we fear making mistakes. But mistakes are the stuff of life– it’s how we learned not to touch the burner on the hot stove.

This actually deserves its own post, now that I think about it, but there’s a real problem with the way we’re brought up. We learn by making mistakes, but those mistakes also teach us to fear a lot more than we need to. We need to find ways to absorb the idea that the worst will usually not (or never) happen. How can we do this?

Anyway, those are three ideas to start you off, but I want to hear what you think next– write a post about this and link me, this needs to be talked about.

(Hat tip: Bob Goyetche)

You know, we didn’t always add strangers on Twitter or Facebook. After all, that isn’t the way most people communicate.

There’s always a little bit of apprehension when you join a new thing, but when we saw that this was the way powerful, alpha users started behaving (Scoble, etc), we started copying them. This is natural since we were trying to emulate their success. This has, in turn, shaped the way Twitter is working now.

It’s amazing to watch the innovations of the most influential users become commonplace on the rest of the web.

Another way this works is that those that build the platforms are able to leverage them in a massive way to multiply and reinforce their own future success. Twitter puts its friends onto the Suggested User List– Wordpress put all of their friends blogs on the default blogroll. This is natural nepotistic behaviour that we, as humans, all take part in. But being able to leverage the platform creates incredible success for all people the creators associate with.

If you succeed early, that will lead to further success with less effort, especially if your success involves a platform. If you fail early, you will have to overcome this to eventually get to a good place.

Visible behaviour gets seen and spreads naturally; invisible behaviour does not.

I think the result of this is that one of the most profitable things you can do for any social network is to get the sluts (the promiscuous connectors) to join. Think of dating websites; if they can get them to join, people will get what they are after. This will make the dating site more popular, which will drive people to use it even more.

If everyone is a wallflower, the opposite will happen. Right?

We considered doing a tour– New York, Chicago, San Francisco, etc, but those were cities we visited all the time anyway.

We also remembered that a lot of you had asked if we could come see you locally, all over the States and Canada, so we wondered how to make that work, too. We considered a lot of options.

But now, we think we’ve hit upon something that might be really great for everyone involved. We think we’ve found a way to travel anywhere you’d like to have us.

From Mitch’s blog:

The three of us want to bring the concepts in the two business books to you, but we are looking for leaders. All three of us command substantial public speaking and consulting fees, but we have decided to wave both the honorariums and travel expenses (within the United States and Canada) for those who can bring 200 people together in a room.

Click here to find out more.