Inside/Outside

take 2: december 29th – inside/out

Kirst — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 22:12:20 +0000

Hi Sweetheart,

It’s just before dinner on Wednesday evening. Based on what show was on TV, I would guess it is around 8 PM. Food should be here soon. Which probably means we won’t get out tonight. And I was hoping to have some time on the phone with just the two of us. Perhaps tomorrow night.

I’m still shaking my head in disbelief and bewilderment at the mini-tornado or whatever that hit the house. That place has been like a war zone as of late. Thankfully no one was hurt. The damage definitely could have been worse.

Just got back in from dinner. Because dinner came so late, the Dep also handed out mail. The guys got Christmas cards from Aunt Pam & Uncle Steve. I received a lot of “thank yous” and am always surprised at who winds up being the most thankful. My friend Youseff, who I have mentioned to you in the past, just “beams” when he gets one. Youseff is the guy who rarely comes out of his cell and has some social issues, just to refresh your memory. He is also the guy who asked me, “How do you stay excited about reading the Bible?” So I am very excited that this small gesture of kindness has impacted him so much. His “thank you” is genuine and heart felt. I am grateful God allowed me to witness it.

I am also enclosing a letter that my friend Cannon gave me on Christmas day. He is a neat guy. I believe I had shared his story with you near the very beginning of this ordeal. He is a strong Christian and has been a good friend. Cannon grew up in the church and aspires to be a Theology professor. He brings great perspective to the Bible Study and has endless amounts of energy. I just like being around him. And I think he kinda views me as a mentor or an older brother. He is only 23. Anyway, I was impressed by his gesture and moved by his words.

I received the neatest Christmas card from Aunt Pam & Uncle Steve. It was part of “The Word” collection from American Greeting. I know you have also sent me some from this brand. They has such a cool design and message to them. I love cool cards!

take 2: december 27th and 28th – inside/out

Kirst — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 14:59:11 +0000

Hi Sweetheart,

It’s just after dinner on Monday evening. I know I wrote you earlier today, but I’ve been reading The Five Love Languages – Men’s Edition and wanted to discuss it with you. I took the men’s profile in the back and found our what my “love languages” are. I had two that tied for primary–words of affirmation and quality time. Physical touch was a close second. I haven’t finished the book yet, but I would hazard a guess that you are bilingual too. Once I’ve figured out what those languages are I will focus in on speaking them to you more effectively. The book has some very helpful hints and breaks it down into very applicable and insightful tips for daily use. I need to make sure that I am speaking your language.

It’s just after dinner on Tuesday evening. David left and now I am trying to organize my things. The Dep hinted at a shakedown, so I need to get my things in order quickly as not to lose them. Sorry this is so short. I’ll write more once this has passed. Kiss our babies for me.

I love you, Scott

take 2: december 27th – inside/out

Kirst — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 14:22:55 +0000

It’s early afternoon on Monday. I just got back from seeing the nurse. Thankfully I don’t have pneumonia. She listened to my lungs and then gave me some cough medicine, some pain medicine and cold medicine. What an answer to prayer! I struggled all weekend with no medicine, which was enough to let me know I will never let that happen again. I’m stocking up! I can’t believe how hard it was for me, both physically and emotionally. A real minute by minute struggle. I learned through it all that if my spirit is strong I can endure anything physically. God walked every step of my weekend struggle and when I faltered, He gently reached for my arm and steadied my walk. He loves us so much!

When I was talking with my mom about Christmas at their house she shared a story about Kayti and Ryan. As she relayed it, we both realized that the source of the kids’ behavior was you. My mom said that when the kids got there she asked them if they wanted to watch Penguins or something like that on TV. They answered, “No thanks, we just want to play.” How cool. You have created an environment at home, with candles and music, that is so healthy. The kids need for their home to be a refuge and safe haven and you have provided just that. I know that sometimes it is easier to run DVD after DVD, because I have certainly done it myself. I am so impressed with your intentionality in making our home a place of comfort and learning. You amaze me!

My love for you just grows deeper by the day. You are an incredible Christian mother and our babies are so fortunate to be loved by you. I am so fortunate to be loved by you! And very soon I am going to be there with you to help continue the wonderful things you have implemented. I can’t wait to be active in the parenting process again…you probably can’t wait either.

I’ll write more later. I am so proud of the woman you are and for the woman you are allowing God to make you into. Stay strong sweetgirl! Please kiss our babies for me.

I love you, Scott

take 2: december 26th – inside/out

Kirst — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 20:30:01 +0000

Hi Sweetheart,

It’s just before dinner on Sunday evening. Sort of been an odd day. Breakfast was served very late and wound up knocking out the church service. Very disappointing. We only get a small amount of organized service in here and it sucks when even that is taken. I can’t wait to attend a full-fledged church service again. I really miss the fellowship, not to mention the choir and the sermon. Not having service on a regular basis sure has helped me to remember not to take it for granted.

I am just finishing a book that Mom sent me, When God When- Learning to Trust in God’s Timing, by Joyce Meyer. It’s short, but power packed with good stuff. I’ve underlined and made notes throughout. When I spoke to my mom today I asked her to please send one to you also. I would love to be able to discuss parts of it with you. As I read, I wanted to immediately turn to you and share the thought of revelation. I’ve done that more than a few times already, only to be starkly reminded of our separation. I miss your sharp mind and keen insight and look forward to being able to discuss with you books and Bible verses whenever we want. At our convenience, not anyone else’s.

Letter from Theon McCollum to Scott

Kirst — Thu, 26 Aug 2010 19:03:04 +0000

Scott aka Man of God,

Greetings Scott. I never told you this before, but when I pray for you I refer to you as Man of God. I believe you exemplify I Timothy 3:17, “That the man of God may be perfect, thorougly furnished unto all good works.” It is evident by the way you live your life that you make a conscious effort to serve the Lord with all you heart, soul and mind.

Since day one when I met you I remember telling you “Your voice is that of a father, giving sound wisdom to his child.” I never heard you raise your voice, even in the midst of a heated emotional dispute involving differences of opinion in religious beliefs. I felt that was huge to remain poised while elaborating on our sipirtual genetic make. There is so much to learn from this guy.

Beside the fact that I believe we suffer from the same sinful diseasen that imprisoned us both which was the initial choice or choices made, I think we have the same ambitious desires toward our God and that is why I love fellowhshipping with you. It is truly a delight!

Scott, I will truly miss you when our God restores you back to the protocal of your family and outside life, so I must not be selfish and appreciate these blessings that God has bestowed upon me. I give this love offering as thanks for you life and for being a conscious influence around me. You indirectly gave me the vote of confidence to try to restore the relationship with my girlfriend, through prayer and vicariously witnessing what it takes to keep a relationship alive through all forms of communication; especially prayer.

I never forgot in the midst of a trial you were going to have my back and that was huge! Scott I am very thankful for you and I wish you a happy holiday and New Year. I also want to say as I close you further exemplify what I want to become, which is a deacon. You have a natual sevant’s attitude, and you and your wife make a good team. I pray that I have a wife that is a spiritual team player as well.

I will surrond myself with positive thoughts. I can, I will, I do. I do all these things with the help of Him who created me. Breathe in with the positive and out with the negative. I am what I am. I am a part of that which is perfect. I will sit still and know He is perfect. For this I am thankful.

Theon McCullom

take 2: december 25th – outside/in

Kirst — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 18:15:00 +0000

It is early, “the wee small hours of the morning.” I have been up with Mals and her bad cough. Poor baby. She has quieted now thanks to a dose of medicine kicking in. I am up now. I expect that the kids with be entering our room now any minute. There stockings are on the first step…all ready and waiting. There are mass amounts of presents under the tree upstairs (the 12′ tree). Kay and Al are on the couch, Clint, Kind and the girls are up in the guest room. I am cozy in pink pjs from your mom.

All that is missing is you, my love.

I have been praying for you throughout the day and night since our visit. I pray that relief is near for your aching, tired body.

Well, Merry Christmas to you.

I love you, Kirst

take 2: december 25th – inside/out

Kirst — Thu, 19 Aug 2010 18:07:12 +0000

It’s just before dinner on Christmas. What a difference a day can make. I feel like I am on the mend…finally! After sleeping most of yesterday, and quite a bit of this morning, I have some relief. Without any cold medicine, God has worked a restorative healing. I am so grateful!

And I am grateful for the Christian heritage that our children enjoy. The time you spent praying over the kids prior to opening gifts made me proud. You are an awesome mom and a good Christian model. Our children are very fortunate. And to have the whole house participate helps reinforce to them the real priorities. What a powerful message of Christ in our lives.

You sounded in good spirits for having through two long days. Actually, you sounded refreshed. Which is strange considering that it is Christmas and the kids are bouncing off the walls, but cool in the fact that God can give you peace in the eye of the storm. He is so good at that. I am going to be praying for your continued stamina and strength as the extra support we’ve enjoyed heads home. They have truly been a gift. Makes me wish, once again, that we all lived closer together. But for that to happen we would all have to live in motorhomes and travel with Clint every three months to his new job.

Kayti and Ryan sounded so excited. I love to hear them that way. I know that God is standing in the gap and watching over them but, as a parent, I still worry about their emotional state. I know without a doubt that God is faithful, so I will work on figuring out what God wants me to do with these feelings of worry so that I am not wasting my energy on worrying, but rather channeling it toward something more productive. More often than not that is prayer. I’ve prayed for you guys more in the last 3 1/2 months than I ever have. And it’s this humble posture of prayer that God craves from me.

Dinner is coming in so I’ll have to write more later. I sincerely hope and pray that this is the last period of separation that we have to endure. Please know that on this Christmas day your husband is praising the Lord for your presence in his life. I am a blessed man and feel extremely fortunate to have a wonderful, loving wife and three beautiful, healthy children. These are gifts that I cherish!

I love you! Scott

take 2: december 24th – inside/out

Kirst — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 19:16:11 +0000

Hi Sweetheart,

It’s just after dinner on Christmas Eve. As soon as I hung up the phone with you I went back to my cell and took a nap. I wound up sleeping all afternoon, right up to dinner. I haven’t been this sick in a long time and there’s just no medicine around. When I see the nurse I’m sure I’ll get what I need, but that probably won’t happen until Monday or Tuesday. So in the meantime I’ll go heavy on the fluids and sleep as much as possible. Oh to be at home in your care!

The bright spot of my day was obviously your visit. Thank you for praying with me. I had been praying for the past two days that God would bolster my spirit and help me with my suffering. The visit was the answer to that prayer. And He brought us closer together also. I feel much more connected to you, closer to you. That probably helped my spirit the most, being knit together through the Lord. I guess I was really feeling lonely and wanting to be near you–wanting to be reassured of your love. That sounds weird because I know you love me, I never doubt it. But sometimes the separation gets me down. Makes me feel far away from you. I’m thankful the Lord knows this and cares enough to provide us what we need to keep going. Our visit together today was just that, His wonderful provision.

take 2: december 24th – inside/out

Kirst — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 18:41:06 +0000

Hi Sweetheart,

It’s just after dinner on Thursday evening. I’m inventorying my books that came today. Some great titles. When God, When by Joyce Meyer, The Five Love Languages – Men’s Edition by Gary Chapman, The Power of a Praying Husband by Stormie Omartian, Life Lessons with Max Lucado – Study on Revelation, Just Like Jesus, In the Grip of Grace, He Still Moves Stones all by Max Lucado, Mere Christianity by C.S. Lewis.

The one that I am most excited by is the Gary Chapman book. The line that excites me, which is located midway down on the front cover says, “How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate.” I’ll be digging into that book tonight!

Since I don’t think you will receive this by Christmas, I hope you enjoy your new purse, spa certificate and items for pampering yourself.

What a blessing to receive all those gifts from Michele’s work. What a surprise! God has been so busy behind the scenes orchestrating all of this. I thank God for the faithfulness of His people. We probably have more gifts than if I were there…God is amazing! He is so caring that He knew I needed to know that you guys were taken care of. This is definitely evidence that He is showering blessings upon us.

I have been struggling to write the last paragraph or so due to David’s non-stop chatteirng. IT DOES NOT STOP! I don’t think I can remember what silence sounds like. I’d even be happy with 30 seconds of silence in between the record length monologues…maybe for Christmas. Alright, I’m done venting. Thank you for listening. I know that we all have our struggles and that I should really choose a better attitude. Things can always be worse…like the cellie I had three years ago who was manic and MPD with no meds for 20 days. Wow, what a memory. I guess I really need to count my blessings.

Another story to share. I might have mentioned this guys name before. He goes by “Pomona” and has spent three years in a Victory Outreach program. He fell away from what he knew, from what he had learned in the program and wound up in here. So he has approached me on a couple of occasions to discuss the Bible. During the discussion he mentioned that he loves to read in the morning with a cup of coffee. I also noticed that on commissary he never gets anything…which means he has no money on his books. So last week I bought him a bag of coffee. When I handed it to him I said, “This is for you and your morning study of God’s Word.” He was blown away, kept asking me if I was serious. I told him that God had blessed me with that money and that He was directing me to pass the blessing along. I could tell that this small act impacted him profoundly. Again, God providing for those who love Him through the obedience of His people. Pomona and I talk now daily and I’m blessed that God has allowed me to particiapte in his growth. What a privilege!

I also had Youseff come and sit down at my table and ask me, “How do you read the Bible everyday?…to me I lose interest and get bored quickly.” If you knew Youseff, you would know how huge it was for him to come and talk to me. He’s on meds for anti-social behavior and stays in his cell all day to keep himself from getting in trouble. So here he is, sitting next to me. I shared with him the excitement of being ransomed from death by Christ’s blood and the hope that comes from knowing Him. We are “saved by grace through faith,” nothing that we have done or could ever do to attain it on our own. It is a gift from Him! He looked at me and said, “Well, I know you’re excited, but I just can’t get that way.” We wound up talking for probably an hour as God softened his heart and spoke through me. He really didn’t know Jesus, at least not in a personal way. No wonder the Bible reading was flat. I told him about the three D’s of Bible reading, as told to me by Jim. Desire to read it, discipline to do it daily, and delight as He starts to reveal things to you and speak through his Word. I think this hit home because his face lit up and he nodded in the affirmative, as if he was telling me, “that makes sense.” I need to check back with him to see how it’s going. He is just not as easy to monitor progress on because he does not participate in the Bible Study. I am also praying for that to change.

I’ll write more later. I’ll be seeing you tomorrow…Hooray!!

I love you, Scott

take 2: december 24th – outside/in

Kirst — Mon, 16 Aug 2010 17:51:30 +0000

Hi Babe,

I am running out the door to do errands, but I wanted to get these pictures in the mail to you.

Your presence is so missed!

I love you, Kirst