Interracial personals blog for relationships between singles of mixed races.

How to Date a Black Girl?

2012-11-26T19:05:00.000-08:00

You have come to the right place. When it comes to black women be yourself. A black girl can spot a white guy faking his confidence a mile away. Confidence is something that has to come naturally, and it does not mean dressing like a gangster or acting like a black guy. It means being confident in who you are and realizing that no matter who you are you still have as good as a chance with her. Here are some steps to landing a date with a black girl:

1. Be yourself. RELAX. Chances are she is just as into you as you are into her. Do not let race get in the way.

2. Approach her as you would with any girl. Start a conversation with her about anything. Get to know her is the MAIN key point to getting her attention.

3. Do NOT bring race into it. Don't tell her she is the first black girl you had feelings for or dated unless she asks. Don't tell her she is "pretty" for a black girl. You want to make her feel special, but that is not how to do it. It will only make her feel like you are interested only because of her race.

4. Compliment her. Women love compliments it could be anything from her hair style to her skin to her smile. Just don't make it sexual unless you two are both comfortable with that in your relationship.

5. Do NOT try to talk "black". Just talk casually. Black women love white guys who are themselves and do not emulate black guys.

6. Ask her out. Women love to feel special and what better way to make her feel special than to ask her out to dinner.

Love tips:Let him have is space

2007-10-11T01:01:00.000-07:00

interracial dating

To show your love to your partner simply hug him, then slowly tilt your head and slowly kiss him on the lips and tell him you love him you don't have to give him gifts or be with him everyday just to show you love him, give him space let him hang around wit his other friends and make sure he does the same, just let him know that you do love him and make sure he knows it if you or he ever have to leave each other, just one tip LET HIM HAVE HIS SPACE!

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Too young for marriage?

2007-10-04T02:03:00.000-07:00

interracial dating

CASSAUNDRA BABER

There was something about Arienne.

Patrick McGowan immediately knew the blue-eyed, loud-mouthed 19-year-old, who was just as obnoxious as he, would be his wife.

There was something about Patrick.

Arienne Thomas immediately became obsessed with the piercing blue eyes of the 24 year old who wore his camouflaged pants in just the right way.

Falling in love was so easy.

Then came marriage (April 5, 2006). Then came baby (Kaleb McGowan born Oct. 3, 2006.) Then came the work (all day, every day).

"It's very hard," says Arienne, now 21. "It's a work in progress. It's constant work. A boyfriend-girlfriend relationship is never this hard. It's a full-time job."

"It's trying," adds Patrick, now 26.

Patrick and Arienne McGowan are a bit of an anomaly among their peers. Statistics show most 20-somethings aren't thinking about exchanging 'I-dos,' but for those who have, does age interfere with the success of their marriages?

The McGowans think it might.

Sometimes the couple wishes they had waited - for wisdom, for maturity, for more time together.

"I still think about it. Is it the right thing I did for me, for our family?" Arienne wonders. "Would we be married if we didn't have Kaleb? Maybe now - if we had gotten to know each other more."
Census data shows marrying young may be a dying trend, but for the young couples who are taking the plunge, keeping that marriage alive often requires a little more effort, say relationship experts. "It's great to be in love, but it does make a big difference the younger you are," says licensed clinical social worker Lynn Tomaino.

Lack of experience and developmental immaturity are factors that contribute to the challenge of making a young marriage work, she added.

"Sometimes people don't realize they have to live a different way (when they're married)," Tomaino says. "They think it will be fun to live together and wake up together and do the things they thing married people do. But you have to be willing to accommodate each other and compromise, and that's not always easy."

'Faith gets you through it' It's not easy, say Frank and Mary Ann Volvo.
They should know.

Married at 22 and 18 respectively, the Rome couple celebrated their 60th wedding anniversary July 12.

Sixty years of marriage hasn't come without its ups and downs, the couple admits, but there has been one thing this couple says has kept their foundation solid.

"Faith, spiritual faith and faith in each other," says Mary Ann with confidence. "When things get rough - and they do - you have something to fall back on."

Her husband nods, smiling from the chair next to his wife's.

"You have to believe, and never go to bed angry," he adds.

"And understanding not everything has to do with you," Mary Ann says.

"Nope, you can't be selfish," Frank says.

The couple's years of love and commitment seem to have made an impact. Their daughter, Barbara Ingersoll, has been married for 31 years. She and her husband married at 24 and 25, respectively. She learned to cope with marriage difficulties the same way her parents did.
"Faith gets you through it," she says. "It goes back to pretty much the same thing - integrity, values."

"Age doesn't matter - it's not an issue," adds Mary Ann. "If he treats you right, you treat him right. If you don't have that basic respect and love, you can't grow. If he doesn't feel good, I don't feel good."

"Sympathy pains," says Frank laughing.

'You do everything you can' For Christina Utter-Wright marrying her high school sweetheart at age 19 because she had a baby on the way seemed like the right thing to do, but poor communication doomed the relationship from the start.

"I saw it as 'It can't be that hard,'" says Utter-Wright, now 29. "But it became apparent to us that we didn't want to be married."

But age, she believes, wasn't what led the couple to that end.

"I don't think it matters what age you get married at as long as the two people know they want to go the same places," she says. "We were just two people who weren't going the same places."
Ultimately, says Tomaino, it doesn't matter how much a couple loves each other or how much time they spend fighting, there are two things a couple must have to be successful.

"Respect and admiration," she says. Those things can be built and should be in order to save a marriage, she adds.

"I think when you make a commitment to be married you do everything you can do before you to ditch the marriage," she advises.

Meanwhile, the McGowans say they'll do whatever it takes to make their new relationship work.
"I'm happy with our relationship, but I hope in the next five years we're able to understand each other a lot better," Patrick says, consoling a sleepy Kaleb.

"I'm still growing as a person, and he's growing as a person," says Arienne. "We try every day to grow together. We want to grow together, and we love each other so much we're willing to do that."

interracial woman looking for interracial relationship

2007-07-29T00:03:00.000-07:00

interracial dating, black woman dating white

Hello, I am looking for interracial relationship. Join & Contact me and Chat with me!

Know me more: I'm single for long time, just wanna say goodbye to the lonely life now. Wonder if we can hook up and enjoy the life together! I an hungry for interracial friends and love online. Are you interested in? Do Contact me by searching "sweetnpretty40" at my favorite interracial dating site.

Advice on Interracial Dating at Love-Sessions

2007-07-29T00:00:00.000-07:00

interracial dating advice

With the distance between us, I flew to Seattle to meet her. We fell in love with each other soon and we feel happy and thankful. We will marry soon.

Though it is becoming more and more accepted in society today, interracial dating and relationships still cause conflicts and suffer from judgment. There are many who choose to share their love and life with one of another color, which is wonderful because love sees no color.

Unfortunately, not everyone sees it this way and that includes family and friends. The opinions of your parents, other relatives and friends truly effect how you feel about yourself and the way you handle your relationship. Being accepted as a couple would make things much more comfortable and harmonious, but that is the thing about interracial dating. . . it can be more challenging than most relationships. Try Interracial relationship now. It is difficult to ignore or not let the judgment of others influence your emotions and thoughts, especially because most of the judgment that will be served to you will come from your immediate family. It may sound hopeless, but there are ways you can keep your relationship and help your family understand and accept your decision. Love-Sessions offers you interracial dating advice that will assist you in using methods that could make the situation less rocky and more pleasant. You will also be advised on how to save your relationship from damage and how to keep it happy and loving, as well as ways on how to progress your relationship in growing more loving and stronger, regardless of the judgment and criticism it faces and will face.

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Interracial Dating Advice for Today’s World

2007-07-28T23:52:00.000-07:00

interracial dating tip

Perhaps you need interracial dating advice because you’re considering trying interracial dating, or maybe you’ve already found a special person and as a couple you’ve run into some problems.

1. Interracial Dating Advice About Your Families

If you’re dating someone who is a different race, success or failure of the relationship can be influenced by your families. While some people think nothing of it, others will have a hard time accepting this new relationship in your life.

2. Acknowledge Racial Differences Positively

Don’t try to “become” one culture or another. You’ve chosen to explore interracial dating for a reason. Celebrate by taking turns getting to know more about each other’s cultures and backgrounds. It will mean a healthier, more intricate whole for your relationship

3. Ignore the Disapproval of Others

4. Be Realistic

In the end, there is no interracial dating advice that can cover every possible problem that may arise out of interracial dating. On the other hand, no one else can understand just how wonderful an interracial relationship can be unless they’ve done so themselves. So my best interracial dating tip is to hold your heads high, respect each other completely, and explore new relationship territories side by side.

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Boise State RB faces threats over interracial marriage

2007-07-28T19:12:00.000-07:00

interracial marriage

BOISE, Idaho - A Boise State University running back who scored the winning points in the Fiesta Bowl, then proposed to his cheerleader girlfriend on national television, has hired security for his weekend wedding because of racial threats, a newspaper reported Tuesday.

Ian Johnson, who is black, and his fiance, Chrissy Popadics, who is white, are due to be married Saturday in Boise.
A report on the letters and phone calls that Johnson has received was carried in an Idaho Statesman sports column.
Johnson, 21, from San Dimas, Calif., ran into the end zone on a so-called "Statue of Liberty" play to score the winning two-point conversion as underdog BSU beat the Oklahoma Sooners 43-42 in overtime on Jan. 1. The Broncos ended their season 13-0 and wound up ranked No. 5 in the final AP poll.

Johnson, who will be a junior this fall, proposed to Popadics, at the time a Broncos cheerleader, on the field after time expired in the game in Scottsdale, Ariz.

Since then, Johnson said he's received phone calls, 30 letters and, in some instances, personal threats from people who objected to his plans to marry Popadics.

"You take it for what it is -- the less educated, the less willing to change," Johnson told the Statesman. "But we're not acting like we're naive to all the stuff that's going on. We know what's been said. We're going to make sure we're safe at all times. It's an amazing day for us, and we'd hate to have it ruined by someone."

He didn't describe the threats -- or the heightened security measures the couple have planned -- in detail.

"It's unfortunate that it involves a certain protocol being followed to ensure that nothing happens," Johnson said. "It's really sad because a lot of people that are probably doing it are the same people who were cheering me on."

A BSU football spokesman, Todd Miles, told The Associated Press on Tuesday that Johnson hopes to put the matter behind him and does not want to comment further. Johnson's phone number is unlisted.

Popadics' family in Boise declined to make her available Tuesday for an interview.

Tips for interracial marriage

Don't let stereotypes deter interracial friendships

2007-07-28T19:05:00.000-07:00

interracial friendships

China DukesChina Rae Dukes, of Augusta, is entering her junior year at Gull Lake High School. There, she has served as class president and participated in the Model United Nations. She is captain of the Color Guard and has participated in concert band, softball and sideline and competitive cheering. Her mentor is Stephanie Esters.

Michael Cody admits that he had some preconceived notions about one of his friends, a 15-year-old biracial teen who looks African-American.
"I thought that my friend listened to just rap, but when I met (him), he liked to listen to Bob Marley and Jimi Hendrix, and that's the music I like," said 14-year-old Michael, who is entering his sophomore year at Gull Lake High School.

Cody, who is predominantly white, says that there are a lot of stereotypes out there and a lot of preconceived notions about different nationalities, but that still hasn't prevented the two from becoming best friends.

While some might think that having friends of a different race shouldn't be a problem, it still can be.

Interracial friendships are an "act of revolution" and "a triumph of imagination," writes one of the authors in "Some of My Best Friends," a book about interracial friendships.In fact, believing in or trying to perpetuate stereotypes of differing ethnic groups actually keeps people of differing backgrounds from developing healthy friendships, said one local expert.

Zawdie Abiade, a consultant on issues of diversity, said people should realize that interracial friendships allow them to grow, "to expand their thinking."

"I think it's important (to have friends of other races), and it goes back to my concept of the 'other,'" said Abiade, who runs Abiade & Abiade Associates.

He said he has good friends of many different races; Abiade, who is African-American, said his best friend is his wife, whom he describes as European and of German descent."Having relationships with people from other cultures and races challenges us to expand our thinking in ways that we cannot do in a homogenous environment -- but the assumption is that we want to expand our thinking," Abiade said.

"Interracial friendship is a way to expand your thinking," he said. "People of various cultures process things differently."

Sabrina Burnett, a 14-year-old student at Gull Lake High School, says that her ethnicity has led people to have preconceived notions about her. Her own ethnic background is a mix of Potawatomi Indian, Caucasian and African-American.

"When you don't communicate with people, all they have to depend on is stereotypes," Abiade said. "We become comfortable with our stereotype, then our stereotype inhibits us from checking in with other people ... and then it becomes difficult to check in with each other."

"Social baggage" of hate toward interracial love

2007-07-28T18:48:00.000-07:00

By Dan Popkey
The Idaho Statesman

BOISE, Idaho — News of racist threats dogging a college football star and his fiancée may surprise most residents of one of the nation's whitest states.

But Idaho blacks have seen trouble coming ever since Boise State tailback Ian Johnson, who is black, got down on one knee Jan. 1 to propose to cheerleader Chrissy Popadics, who is white, on national TV after scoring the winning points at the 2007 Fiesta Bowl.

The couple will marry today. Johnson has reported receiving more than 30 threatening letters and phone calls from inside and outside Idaho.

"When Ian did that on television, every black person I know said, 'He's a fool. That boy just asked for trouble,' " said Keith Anderson, a former Boise State football player who has been married to a white woman for 14 years and has two sons.

"I thought, 'Uh-oh, this is gonna bite him,' " said Mamie Oliver, a leader in Idaho's African-American community since she came to teach social work at Boise State in 1972.

The threats have been widely publicized this week on national sports-talk radio, with some speculating the incident will add to Idaho's reputation as a racist haven and hurt Boise State's recruiting efforts.

But what's happened to the couple has nothing to do with Idaho's rank as the seventh-whitest state in the nation, Oliver said.

Instead, she said, it's about human nature.

"There's some people that have the attitude that people don't have the right to be in love with who they're in love with. It became the black young man proposing to the white girl. People have baggage, and it just caused that stuff to come out."

Oliver now teaches at Northwest Nazarene University in Nampa and is pastor at Mountain View Community Fellowship. She said that what's happened to Johnson and Popadics is more complex than racism alone.

"Social baggage"

"It's social baggage. We do it with color, class, age, gender, power. All those categories give people excuses to be negative toward other human beings."

Marilyn Shuler, who ran the Idaho Human Rights Commission for 20 years, wants to believe the threats have come from "a small bunch of people I call the Flat-Earth Society."

But she's troubled that anonymous attacks would come at all. "Why would they have any negative feelings at all about wonderful people who love each other?"

Why? Because mixed marriage frightens people, said Cherie Buckner-Webb, president of the Idaho Black History Museum.

"There are people tied to belief systems that have been perpetuated for a long, long time," said Buckner-Webb, a black woman and fourth-generation Idahoan. "Blurring the lines and marrying across is scary."

Buckner-Webb said Johnson's celebrity has contributed to the shock among her white friends that anyone would make such a threat.

"It's not a big surprise to us," she said. "But he's a golden boy. He's done wonderful things, and how can one of our icons be derided?

"The truth of the matter is he remains a black man, and she remains a white woman."

Idahoans were relieved when the neo-Nazi Aryan Nations left the state in 2001 and its Hayden Lake compound was torn down, erasing a symbol of racism in the state.

But much work remains to be done, Buckner-Webb said. "We've said, great, the Nazis are gone. Well, no, their compound is gone, but racist attitudes are still alive and well in Idaho, and all over the world."

Blacks made up 0.6 percent of Idaho's population in 2005, according to the latest available census data. Hispanics made up at least 9.1 percent and American Indians 1.4 percent. With many Hispanics also calling themselves white, the white population was 95.5 percent.

Interracial marriage in the United States has skyrocketed since 1967, when the Supreme Court struck down Virginia's antimiscegenation law.

More biracial marriages

In 1970, 2 percent of U.S. couples were interracial. By 2005, 7 percent of 59 million marriages were biracial. Black-white marriages increased from 65,000 in 1970 to 422,000 in 2005.

Booker Brown came from St. Louis to Boise State in the 1970s on a basketball scholarship. He married Pam Selland, daughter of Larry Selland, the late Boise State executive vice president.
They moved to Phoenix this year for professional reasons but loved rearing their two sons in Boise, Brown said.

"Idaho is no Mecca for racism," he said. "But I'm not naive enough to say that covert racism doesn't exist in Boise, Idaho, or Timbuktu. It exists in 2007 and it's probably going to exist for another 200 years."

Brown taught his sons that "when you deal with stupid stuff like that you've got to be comfortable with who you are. If you have a strong sense of who you are, people can't hurt you with words."

As for Johnson, he said of the threats this week, "You take it for what it is; the less educated, the less willing to change. But we're not acting like we're naive to all the stuff that's going on. We know what's been said. We're going to make sure we're safe at all times. It's an amazing day for us, and we'd hate to have it ruined by someone."

Material from The Seattle Times archives is included in this report.

Copyright © 2007 The Seattle Times Company

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