I love a book full of new ideas and stories.

A new brand of coffee? I’m all in.

Change is good, right?

I use that party line all the time.

It’s easy to say that when the change is minor.

But the truth is…

Change is risky.

Change can be embarrassing.

Change is awkward.

Quite simply…

Change is painful.

If you think about it, we balance the pain in our life every day.

If we are uncomfortable with our present situation, there is a degree of pain associated with doing nothing about it.

On the other hand, if we take action, there’s the pain of trying something new.

For example, you may work for a great organization, but your current job isn’t a perfect fit.

So you either accept the pain of not changing, or you take the time to develop new skills and expand your network.

When It Is Time for a Change

The point at which we actually change our career or any behavior is simply this:

When the pain of not changing exceeds the pain of changing.

For example, the frustration with a current job outweighs the effort of developing a new skill and applying for a new position.

At that point, you roll up your sleeves and get it done.

My Own Experience

Twice in my career, I went back to school on nights and weekends to change the direction of my career.

Recently, I learned how to develop my own website so that I could start another blog. This site, I paid someone else to develop and I’m still paying for it.

In all cases, the change was painful primarily because I sacrificed personal time with my family.

But one important outcome was always the same…

The pain of changing was always less than the pain of not changing.

I finished two graduate school programs.

I learned how to develop a website.

The pain is over.

Now I’m on to new projects.

My Advice to You

Recognize the pain of not changing something in your career or life.

We all have it.

Unless circumstances outside your control change, the pain won’t go away.

And the pain will likely increase.

Taking the first step to overcome the pain is always the hardest.

But once you do, don’t look back.

The pain of change will be over before your know it.

And the pain of not changing will be gone forever.

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What comes to mind for you?

What has been your experience?

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I’ve generally stuck to my 5 Guidelines for LinkedIn Invitations, and I encourage you to establish rules that work best for your career.

That being said, I discovered it was difficult to maintain relationships with the majority of my LinkedIn contacts.

The reason is simple.

I do not have the opportunity to work with everyone directly on a regular basis.

And that will always be the case.

However, I want my professional network to know about my current projects, problems, and ideas.

And likewise, I want to be kept in the loop on their career.

Otherwise, the opportunities to help each other are few and far between.

In short, there is no relationship if you don’t stay in touch.

I’m assuming a lot of people feel the same way.

LinkedIn is not Facebook, and I am not making the case the lines of communication should be handled the same way.

But LinkedIn is a potentially powerful social network for every person.

I receive new LinkedIn invitations to connect every week, and you probably do as well.

The majority are from people I have met outside of LinkedIn.

There are a few that are just obscure (and likely spam), but the vast majority are from hard working people with similar interests just like you and me.

How I Now Stay in Touch

Whenever I accept a LinkedIn invitation, I send a personal note back to find out more about their current work.

Now, I take a one step further in the professional relationship.

I add them to my professional  or personal blog email distribution to help us stay in touch.

Granted, I will not do so without their knowledge.

Instead, I send them a notification via LinkedIn and I always let them know they can unsubscribe.

The purpose of my blogs is to share content to help others, and to receive feedback and advice.

To this date, I have only received positive feedback from my new connections on this approach.

Here is a sample LinkedIn response I have sent:

I recognize this is just one approach to stay in touch, and not everyone has a blog (and that’s fine).

However, I encourage you to discover ways to stay in contact with your network.

Otherwise, your network will be more about quantity, than quality.

And when one of your LinkedIn connections asks for a referral or advice, you don’t want to be scratching your head to figure out who on earth is your own contact.

I’ve been there.

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What are your thoughts?

How do you stay in touch with your LinkedIn contacts?

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One of my biggest obstacles in life is getting through tasks that appear overwhelming.

Rather than taking the challenge head on, I will procrastinate and hope the task magically becomes easier.

It never does.

Do other people ever feel this way?

Do we hold off on our purpose because…

1. There are too many phone calls to make

2. No one will read the book proposal

3. A website is too complex to start

4. There are too many abandoned children to support

5. <Fill in the blank>

I’m assuming we all have our mountains to climb.

The other day I found inspiration in a story familiar to many.

It is adapted from The Star Thrower by Loren Eiseley.

Once upon a time, there was a wise man who used to go to the ocean to do his writing. He had a habit of walking on the beach before he began his work.

One day, as he was walking along the shore, he looked down the beach and saw a human figure moving like a dancer. He smiled to himself at the thought of someone who would dance to the day, and so he walked faster to catch up.

As he got closer, he noticed that the figure was that of a young man, and that what he was doing was not dancing at all. The young man was reaching down to the shore, picking up small objects, and throwing them into the ocean.

He came closer still and called out “Good morning! May I ask what it is that you are doing?”
 
The young man paused, looked up, and replied “Throwing starfish into the ocean.” 

”I must ask, then, why are you throwing starfish into the ocean?” asked the somewhat startled wise man.

 To this, the young man replied, “The sun is up and the tide is going out. If I don’t throw them in, they’ll die.”

Upon hearing this, the wise man commented, “But young man, do you not realize that there are miles and miles of beach, and there are starfish all along every mile? You can’t possibly make a difference!”

 At this, the young man bent down, picked up yet another starfish, and threw it into the ocean.

As it met the water, he said, “It made a difference for that one.”

May you find the same encouragement in your journey.

Start with one starfish.

What advice do you offer for making a difference?

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After the publication of Tim Russert’s #1 New York Times bestseller about his father, Big Russ & Me, Tim Russert received an avalanche of letters from daughters and sons who wanted to tell him about their own fathers.

A compilation of those letters, titled Wisdom of Our Fathers, was published in 2006.

One of the letters reinforces professional honor and responsibility in a very succinct and profound way.

It was simply titled The Clock:

“Sometimes I would pick up Dad from work at Universal Studios, where he was a tool and die maker. He got off work at 3:30 PM.

When I arrived at 3:20 pm, I noticed that all the men he worked with were washing up and heading to the time clock to punch out at 3:30 pm.

But my dad clocked out at 3:30 pm and then washed his hands.

When I asked him why, he said, “They don’t pay me to wash my hands.”

- Phil Robbins, Coeur d’Alene, ID, sales

son of Leo Robbins, tool and die maker (1923 – 1993)

A Life of Legacy

Tim Russert was the longest-serving moderator of NBC’s Meet the Press, and was listed as one of the 100 most influential people in the world in 2008 by Time magazine.

On June 13, 2008, Tim Russert, died of a heart attack at the Washington bureau of NBC News.

His legacy lives on through his inspirational books and years of service.

I am certain Tim Russert was inspired by the story and legacy of Leo Robbins, and men just like him.

We all are.

The work you do is setting an example.

You are building a legacy as well.

Take pride in your work now and in the future.

Honor your time in service to others.

You never know the permanent impression it is making on someone in your life.

For further reference, here are 15 Words of Wisdom for Fathers.

What work lessons have you learned from your father or other role models?

I have to admit one of the most humbling experiences of my life was sitting in driving school 3 years ago.

Considering I had to be at least twice the age of the other “moving vehicle detainees”,  it felt like I was in after-school detention.

It wasn’t my idea, I can assure you.

That credit goes to the local judge.

I was there to erase the memory (and insurance points) of speeding through town.

Truthfully and ironically, I am a better person for the experience.

I haven’t exceeded the speed limit since driving school for two reasons…

1. Those videos of real-life car accident victims (rightfully) haunt all viewers

2. One simple fact about speeding

The reason I am recalling this experience today is because I watched a friend of mine speed past me on the highway on the way to our team’s softball game.

I quickly pressed the accelerator to keep up, but then backed off moments later.

There was no value in the race.

Here is the fact about speeding:

Question: If two cars are traveling the same distance but one is going 10 mph faster, how much sooner will it arrive?

The answer depends on the distance.

In my case, the distance to the softball field was 10 miles.

My car was going 65 mph (the speed limit).

He was flooring it at 75 mph.

Did he beat me by 10 minutes? 5 minutes?

Answer: 75 seconds.

He assumed extra risk for his own life and that of the other drivers on the highway.

That’s right:  For one minute and 15 seconds.

How This Applies to Your Life

Beyond the message that speeding in your car just doesn’t make sense (hopefully you’ll remember this lesson in mathematics) …

Ask yourself:

Are you speeding up when you network at an event?

Are you rushing through a job interview just to get it over?

Do you take the time to listen first?

I’ve exceeded the professional speed limit plenty of times myself.

Don’t repeat my mistakes.

There is a lot more value in taking it slow, even when there is a perception that life is moving very fast.

(By the way… I arrived at the ball field before my friend did. Funny how that works out.)

So next time..

Try slowing down if you want to speed up in life.

What are your experiences or recommendations?

Chances are, we’ve all been through phone interviews.

These type of interviews are commonplace to pre-screen candidates.

So the duration and expectations are fairly predictable for both parties involved.

How you start the phone conversation the moment you pick up the phone is critical.

My advice… Don’t Say Hello.

Let me share an example to build my case:

I scheduled a phone interview with a candidate at an exact time and date.

So my phone call was to be expected.

And when I placed the call to the number given, I expected the greeting on the other end to be at a minimum professional.

Ideally, it would also be an immediate recognition of the appointment.

Why?

Because it sets the right tone for the rest of this very important conversation.

Instead, I received the unfortunate and awkward “Hello”.

After I paused to shake my head in disappointment, I had no choice but to ask the candidate (in this case, we’ll call her Mary), “Hi, is this Mary?”.

“Yes, it is” Mary replies.

Another pause to shake my head in frustration and wait for her to say something else.

Was the candidate even expecting my call?

Now, I had to really move the conversation forward.

“Hi, this is Brent Peterson from Interview Angel.”

“Oh, hi” Mary responds.

At this point, the critical first impression wasn’t a good one because I had to do the phone call confirmation, and it felt that I was inconveniencing the candidate.

I then spoke up again.

“Uh, hi. I was calling for our phone interview. I am assuming this is a good time to talk.”

“Sure,” Mary concludes.

Agh!

Let’s rewind the tape and walk through how the conversation should have been handled.

I place the call and the candidate picks up the phone:

“Hi, this is Mary Smith.”

“Hi Mary, this is Brent Peterson from Interview Angel.”

“Hi, Mr. Peterson. I was expecting your call. Thank you for taking the time to talk with me today.”

Perfect!

Let me provide some additional clarity on these two simple recommendations (Professional Greeting and Appointment Recognition).

1. Professional Greeting

In an office environment, there is a standard protocol for answering the phone.

Typically, the greeting is something as simple as “Hello, this is Brent Peterson.”

Or it may be something more scripted such as “Thank you for calling the finance department. Brent Peterson speaking.”

The reality is you probably know who is calling on the other end because virtually all phones are equipped with caller ID.

And yet, you would still respond with a professional greeting primarly because you know it is a communication exchange between professionals.

The other reason you would answer professionally because you know a co-worker may be placing a call from someone else’s extension.

I’ll confess I’ve made the false assumption before based on caller ID, and once you have made the mistake, it is a hard lesson.

Let’s just say, picking up the phone and saying “WAAAZZUUUUUUUUP?!?!?” in my best Budweiser imitation to a friend (based on caller ID) didn’t sound so good when it was his boss making the call.

So if you are a job candidate, answer the phone as if you are already in the office.

A Note of Chivalry

3. The What are YOU Doing? Budweiser Commercial (and yes, I take extreme humor in the fact that the first guy is named Brent

It has now been 235 years since the signing of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776.

Here are 17 fun facts about the Fourth of July to share with friends and family…

1. A Truly Young Nation

The average age of the Signers of the Declaration of Independence was 45.

The youngest was Thomas Lynch, Jr (27) of South Carolina.  The oldest delegate was Benjamin Franklin (70) of Pennsylvania.

The lead author of The Declaration, Thomas Jefferson, was 33.

2. Men of Harvard

1 out of 8 signers of the signers were educated at Harvard (7 total).

Four each at William & Mary, Yale, and Princeton.

George Wythe was a professor at William & Mary and one of his students was Thomas Jefferson.

3. An Act of Treason

After signing the Declaration, John Hancock remarked that Congress must now “all hang together”.

Benjamin Franklin replied,

“Yes, we must indeed all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately.”

4. Happy July 2nd

The initial date the resolution of independence was approved in a closed session of Congress was July 2, 1776.

The next day, John Adams remarked in a letter to his wife Abigail:

“The second day of July, 1776, will be the most memorable epoch in the history of America.

I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated by succeeding generations as the great anniversary festival.

It ought to be commemorated as the day of deliverance, by solemn acts of devotion to God Almighty.”

5. Date for History

Congress revised the Declaration for final approval on July 4, 1776.

The only two signers of the Declaration of Independence who later served as President of the United States were John Adams and Thomas Jefferson.

Both John Adams and Thomas Jefferson (bitter rivals) died on the same day, July 4, 1826, the 50th anniversary of the Declaration.

6. Our National Turkey

Benjamin Franklin wrote in a letter to his daughter Sarah Bache in 1784:

“For my own part I wish the Bald Eagle had not been chosen the Representative of our Country.

He is a Bird of bad moral character. He does not get his Living honestly.

You may have seen him perched on some dead Tree near the River, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the Labour of the Fishing Hawk;

And when that diligent Bird has at length taken a Fish, and is bearing it to his Nest for the Support of his Mate and young Ones, the Bald Eagle pursues him and takes it from him.

I am on this account not displeased that the Figure is not known as a Bald Eagle, but looks more like a Turkey.  For in Truth the Turkey is in Comparison a much more respectable Bird, and withal a true original Native of America.

He is besides, though a little vain & silly, a Bird of Courage, and would not hesitate to attack a Grenadier of the British Guards who should presume to invade his Farm Yard with a red Coat on.“

7. Enjoy Your Day Off Without Pay

Congress made Independence Day an official unpaid holiday for federal employees in 1870.

(In 1938, Congress changed Independence Day to a paid federal holiday)

8. Our Nation Has Grown

There were an estimated 2.5 million people living in the newly independent nation in 1776.

Total U.S. population in 2011 is 311.7 million.

9. A Salute to the Union

A salute of one gun for each state in the United States, called a “salute to the union,” is fired on Independence Day at noon by any capable military base.

10. Thank China for Old Glory

87.5% ($2.8 million) of imported U.S. flags are from China.

11. And for Fireworks

97% ($190.7 million) of imported fireworks are from China.

12. Hawkeye Hot Dogs

One of out every four pork hot dog consumed in the U.S. originates from Iowa.

If not Iowa, then likely North Carolina or Minnesota.

An estimated 150 million hot dogs will be consumed on July 4th.

13. Lone Star Beef

One-sixth of all beef production comes from Texas.

If your beef hot dog, steak, or burger didn’t come from Texas, there’s a good chance it originated in Nebraska or Kansas.

14. Sunshine Lettuce or Tomato

75% of all lettuce head production comes from California while 71% of all fresh tomatoes come from California or Florida.

15.Pass the Potato Salad and Chips

You guessed it.. approximately half of the nation’s spuds are produced in Idaho or Washington.

16. Some Baked Beans Please

36% of the nation’s dry, edible beans are produced in North Dakota (the most in any state).

17.  The Liberty Bell Tap

Every 4th of July the Liberty Bell in Philadelphia is tapped (not actually rung) thirteen times in honor of the original thirteen colonies.

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(Sources:  U.S. Census Bureau, U.S. Army History, Junto Society, U.S.History.org, Wikipedia – Declaration of Independence, Wikipedia – Independence Day, Wikipedia – Wild Turkey)

—–

I wish your family a safe and joyous holiday!

-Brent

Which July 4th fact is your favorite? How do you celebrate the holiday?

About the Author

Brent Peterson, PMP, MS, MBA, is the founder of Interview Angel Inc, a company that offers a comprehensive guide and toolkit for job seekers to use in interviews.

The purpose of Interview Angel is to take the fear out of job interviews.  Customer testimonials for the Interview Angel product are posted online for additional reference.

Brent’s first customer was a father who purchased Interview Angel as a graduation gift for his daughter.  Since then, clients have included government workforce centers, business school programs, and Goodwill Industries.  The product has also been used as an inexpensive outplacement solution for a business going through layoffs.

The hard truth is that we will spend a lifetime understanding, acquiring, and developing the skills needed to be effective leaders.

Even with constant awareness and rigorous choice, we will always be works in progress, with an endless stream of opportunities to improve and grow.

How can we get the most out of our efforts to progress as leaders?

It starts with four questions that form the foundation for leadership development.

1. Who am I?

2. What do I want?

3. What attracts others to choose to follow me?

4. How can I earn and retain the privilege to lead?

While these are simple questions, our ability to answer them completely and honestly is extremely difficult.

Our willingness and ability to continuously ask and answer these questions is key to our long-term success and growth.

1. Who am I?

Self-awareness is at the heart of all growth and development.  Knowing who we are means knowing what we value.  It means digging and exploring our beliefs.

It also means looking at our choices and actions.  Are we living in a way that reflects our declared values and beliefs?

The leadership attributes most aligned with self-awareness are Character, Authenticity, Integrity, and Self-Efficacy.

2. What do I want?

Once we start understanding who we are, we can begin to see what we want – what we want to achieve, what we want to learn, what our life’s mission is…

The attributes that help us understand and answer this question are Ambition, Vision, Boldness, and Resilience.

3. How can I attract other to choose to follow me?

Most of us are told who we work for.  Our position in our organization defines that.  The best leaders are those whom others choose to follow regardless of their position.

Our self-knowledge and knowledge of what we want to achieve can help us attract others.

What truly draws others to us is our Inspiration, Courage, Selflessness, and Stamina.

Our ability to demonstrate these attributes will make us the type of leader others want to follow.

4. How do we earn and retain the privilege to lead?

Those we lead will judge us by how we respond to the opportunities and challenges we confront.

When we respond well, it makes others want to continue to follow us.

The attributes most associated with this question are Enthusiasm, Composure, Patience, and Accountability.

Just as the consistency of our behavior will attract others, our consistency will also help us retain their trust and keep them following us.

Effective leadership depends on our willingness and ability to constantly ask ourselves these questions and to answer them objectively and honestly.

What thoughts or questions do you have for the author?

About the Author

Doug Moran has more than twenty-five years of leadership experience in a variety of industries.  He has worked for Verizon and Capital One (where he was the CIO of the financial services division) and served the governor of the Commonwealth of Virginia as deputy secretary of health and human resources, chief operating officer of the department of social services, and telecommunications director.

He is the author of If You Will Lead: Enduring Wisdom for 21^st-Century Leaders. It takes Rudyard Kipling’s classic poem “If—” and provides a framework comprising sixteen eternal and essential leadership attributes.

It draws on noteworthy historical events to illustrate how great leaders like Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, Mother Teresa, and others applied these attributes to achieve extraordinary results.

If You Will Lead uses the power of storytelling to teach its leadership lessons. It combines bigger-than-life examples with everyday stories to help leaders apply its lessons to their own leadership challenges, whatever they may be.

It provides a practical guide that offers numerous resources and tools to help readers hone their skills and achieve their full potential.

Networking for a new job or client is easier said than done.

Too often, I take the easy road.

I blog. I tweet, I email.

Nothing happens.

Repeat cycle.

Nothing happens.

Do other people have the same experience?

Do we rely upon technology and social media because it is easy?

Are we afraid to do networking the old fashioned way?

Where do we start?

The good news for social media fans is that the solution does involve common tools like LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter.

The key is to use these tools to build relationships offline, and not to use them simply to reinforce virtual conversations.

At the conclusion of each teleseminar or speech I give, I conclude with a call to action for all participants.

Last week I shared The Rule of Three.

If you are truly interested in kick starting your networking efforts and seeing meaningful results, I offer the following advice….

Every week:

1. Discover one new networking group or event (even if the date is in the future)

2. Meet two new people in person

3. Help three people in any capacity

Simple enough right?

I challenge you to give it a try over a one week period.

You may find successful networking to be a hard habit to break.

Please report back.  I’d love to share your story with others.

What are your thoughts or recommendations?

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It is time for confession.

I broke down. I couldn’t resist the temptation.

I fell off the wagon.

Yes, I brought my TV back to life.

My inner sports fan got the better of me.

After two months of total TV shutdown and 7 wonderful behavioral observations in my home…

I watched Game 6 of the NBA Finals.

I then watched in joy and agony as my graduate school (UVA) battled in the College World Series.

The games are over now, and I’m back on the wagon.

The interruption was more painful than I could imagine.

But I made some other observations about TV, and I encourage you to take these to heart.

1. Stress

I realized how stressed I became watching a game I had absolutely no control over.  This stress even carried over into the next day.

Maybe it is a guy thing, but I remember how worked up some people would get over the outcome of the Bachelor or American Idol.

I also remember how stressful it is to watch the news.

Here are the sample headlines from one news day last week on NBC:

Is anything going right in the world?

Or is it just not news worthy?

2. Exposure

Have their always been this many commercials?

It seemed the NBA players didn’t run up and down the court 3 times without a commercial timeout.

And the perpetual commercial imagery of sex, violence, cars and beer during sports events intentionally sticks in your mind, and that’s not a healthy thing.

I found it unwatchable.

It is estimated that Americans are exposed to 3 hours of advertisements for every 10 hours of television.

That’s 30% of your time in front of the TV.

If that’s not alarming enough, it is double the level from the 1960′s.

3. Sensitivity to Time

As I watched the College World Series, I kept looking at my watch because I realized I wasn’t being productive.

Prior to my TV hiatus, I could get lost in a game for 3 hours.

I became so anxious sitting there, I set my DVR to record the game so I could watch on video delay.

When I returned, I watched the players moving around on Fast Forward like vintage Babe Ruth footage.

It still took too much time.

4. Sleepless in Richmond

My final TV moment this weekend was watching the movie Sleepless in Seattle late Saturday evening.

I’ve seen this Tom Hanks / Meg Ryan film so many times, I know every moment.

And yet, I was drawn in until the very last moment on the Empire State Building.

Yes, a great moment but the irony was not lost on me.

I had been getting more (much needed) sleep when the TV was unplugged.

5. I was Missed

Lastly, my children simply asked the other night, “Where’s Dad?”

They had seen me around more (a lot more) over the past two months.

Now, I was watching the game.

They noticed I wasn’t around.

My priorities were clearly messed up.

My Advice to You

We all have the same number of hours in the day.

What you choose to do with those precious minutes is up to you.

If you haven’t already unplugged, I strongly encourage the experiment.

You may discover something very important as well… your life.

What are your thoughts or experience?

About the Author

Brent Peterson, PMP, MS, MBA, is the founder of Interview Angel Inc, a company that offers a comprehensive guide and toolkit for job seekers to use in interviews.

The purpose of Interview Angel is to take the fear out of job interviews.  Customer testimonials for the Interview Angel product are posted online for additional reference.

Brent’s first customer was a father who purchased Interview Angel as a graduation gift for his daughter.  Since then, clients have included government workforce centers, business school programs, and Goodwill Industries.  The product has also been used as an inexpensive outplacement solution for a business going through layoffs.