I Pick Pretty

On the Pretty Bookshelf, February '12 Ed.

2012-02-20T13:16:00.000-06:00

I had an "outfit of the day" style post all lined up for today with my favorite Princess Shinylocks-inspired (copied) outfit, and then the pictures turned out horribly, possibly because the Anonymous Husband / photographer found it hilarious that I'd ask him to take a picture of my outfit. And I'm incapable of posing normally for staged photos. And then the dog ate my homework. Bottom line is, I'm far too vain to post the results, so we'll just have to Kate another day.

Ahem.

Anywhoo, February has been a terrific month on the literary front for the wee CEO & me. I've settled into my new book club, while Master P has finished off Dickens & has moved onto the Beat poets - or is it our local library's toddler story hour, I always get those two confused . . .

. . . in any event, he's inherited his mama's strong opinions on books, though only one of us has taken to chucking a disliked book across the room while gleefully shouting "NO!" As always, I have more detailed info up on my Goodreads profile, but here's the skinny on our favorites from this month, none of which have gone sailing in any untoward direction (all images via Barnes & Noble):

For the Grownups

"Rules of Civility" by Amor Towles

This came highly recommended to me and is that rare debut novel that manages to live up to the hype, succeeding as a pre-WWII era comedy of manners and romance as well as a deeper look at the mores of that pre-war "golden age" in New York and America now. Though this is set some 15 years after "The Great Gatsby", the comparisons are inevitable - for starters, both use the narrative structure of an outsider looking in, only to realize that the privileged American "in" isn't quite what it appears.

I fell head over heels for the prose and immediately wanted to befriend the narrator. The sparkling dialogue and characters veritably leap off the page, though it's occasionally more stylized than real. I only wish that we all spouted off clever one liners like this. Some of those staged moments aside, this was a startling insightful read, moving me at many times to go grab my highlighter so I could mark my favorite bits.

Fans of Wharton and, yes, Fitzgerald, you'll really like this one. Pinky swear.

On Deck: "1Q84", "Let the Great World Spin", "Catch-22", "The 25th Hour" (Apparently I need a dystopian literature chaser to my "Hunger Games" binge).

For the Playground Set

Master P is sticking to the classics; we were delighted to find these two in board book, oversized editions:

"Olivia" by Ian Falconer

Going back to this post, my boy is going to learn about strong women, precocious pigs very much included. The literary little sister to my old favorite, "Eloise", this book's cheerful illustrations & clever prose keep us both entertained.

"The Very Busy Spider" by Eric Carle

Ever wonder if Mr. Carle is sitting in a multi-colored mansion somewhere counting his millions? I'm only to happy to add to his stash; Master P adores the colorful animal pictures, and they're beautiful enough that I enjoy looking at them again and again (and AGAIN) too.

***

What's new & exciting on your bookshelf this month?

Over-scheduled & Underpaid

2012-02-17T14:36:00.001-06:00

That old stay-at-home-mom favorite question - "But what do you DO all day?!?" - has taken on a deeper irony for me recently, as I feel busier than ever with my newish job. So quickly do these toddler days fly by that I barely remember those sometimes endless (for me, at any rate) desk job days. Master P is just able to do so much more, and has so much boisterous boy energy now, that we're exploring a whole new world *cue Disney song* of story times and gymnastics classes and happy hours*, and this Type A Minus has enough of the "A" still to admit that I'm enjoying that.

(*Fine, I'm kidding about the happy hour - but the first person to build a playground with a spiked coffee bar for parents gets my vote.)

In fact, I'm surprised to find myself at risk of over-scheduling us - if I let it happen, we could have at least one class or organized outing to go to every day. It's one thing to keep up our "leave the house once a day" policy, which keeps both boy & me stimulated and happy. Isn't it entirely another, possibly crazy-making thing, though, to make all of those outings a scheduled thing - especially given that I have a 1.5 year old who can be equally entertained by things like standing in the yard watching clouds drift by?

With apologies to my Facebook crew, who has seen this one; this California girl still can't get over the weensy flip-flops.

Maybe it's because I'm more French than Tiger Mom, or still in recovery from some overzealous scheduling in my own youth, but I've decided to hang on to at least one weekday when we're free to stay home in our pajamas and do nothing more productive than feed crayons to dogs. Er, or something like that - point is, there is plenty of time for the wee CEO to develop interests and hobbies, in addition to the eventual school. There is only so much time, however, when we'll have the freedom to play as the day takes us.

I can't believe I'm asking this, as parent to newly minted toddler, but - anyone else struggle with this over-scheduling thing? How do you maintain that fun/free time balance?

Operation MILF - How to Wear Stripes for Spring

2012-02-16T14:45:00.000-06:00

One of the Prettiest trends of Spring '12 is the stripe - not just with the resurgence of the classic French sailor shirt, of which I own approx. eleventy billion, but also the modern take on this preppish trend.

The thing is, wearing stripes can be a tricky business for those of us - ok, me - who are not six feet tall and six pounds wide. There's that old saying about not wearing stripes if you're attempting to look slender - while I don't entirely agree with that, I have found there are more flattering ways to incorporate this trend if you have some areas you'd prefer to, shall we say, de-emphasize. With the ways this trend is showing up in stores - asymmetrical lines and colorblocking - it's also easy and inexpensive to do.

I should add that I include myself in this strategizing; though I luuurve me a stripe - seriously, stop me before I stripe again - and I'm finally back to pre-baby fighting weight, the look of my landscape has changed. That flat stomach I'd always taken for granted? The arms that knew no waddle? Um. Let's say that though I'm a wee bit obsessed with this trend, I cannot just throw on any ol' form-fitting top anymore.

Anywhoo, here are a few favorites, all the way from J. Crew to JC Penney . . .

With their respective asymmetry & longer hemline, these first two might particularly suit those of us - ok, me again - looking to conceal things around the stomach or hip area:

Left (I own & adore this one) / Right

And for those of us wanting to emphasize, from left to right, our ~~non-existent~~ bust or downplay arms; note how the lighter color & colorblocking directs the eye:

Left (showing as sold out, sadly) / Right

Same here, for anyone else wanting to minimize the stomach damage; the darker/thicker striped area on the left does minimizing stomach magic, while looser fit on the right helps there & with arm coverage as well:

Left / Right

For the Pretty plus-sized crowd, two from Old Navy - note again how the diagonal lines & color-blocking draw the eye up . . .

Left / Right

Anyone else sweet on stripes?

Pretty Playroom: Mod Alphabet Wall & Magnetized Chalkboard How-To

2012-02-14T12:00:00.001-06:00

Note: this post has nothing whatsoever to do with today's holiday - see here and here about that if you're so inspired - though it's plenty saccharine in content. Consider yourselves warned - and, um, Happy Valentine's / Singleton Appreciation Day!

Of all the things I've been surprised to learn about myself via this stay-at-home-mom business, my ability to copy the creative projects of others has to top the list. I mean, just about anyone can come up with a new home decor idea, but it takes a real visionary to duplicate it step for step, right? Riiight?

(Quit your complaining about this soccer mom post, by the way - it has been One of Those Weeks here at Pretty HQ, complete with expiring washing machines & sick toddler, so you're getting my Pretty playroom crafts and you will like it. YOU WILL LIKE IT!!! GET OFF MY LAWN! We'll get back to shoes & such just as soon as my budget / will to live recovers.)

(Ahem.)

Anywhoo, still suffering from severe Pinterest-itis - and legitimately wanting to liven up the boring, blank walls of Master P's play area, since he's grown so much more aware of his surroundings lately - I recently went in search of alphabet wall decor. As always, the design challenge here was to find child-friendly decor that didn't singe my adult eyeballs with the Comic Sans cuteness of it all; given that our play space is part of our Austin-y, somewhat modern open area living room / kitchen / dining room area, something that visually appeals to kids & adults alike was key.

Enter the Paul Thurlby alphabet wall, as 100% ~~plagiarized from~~ inspired by The Tichenor Family's post; the framed letter pages are courtesy of this fab little book here:

Available here in book form; prints available here

Since this project is entirely someone else's idea, I'll re-direct you to her post for the directions, only adding my two tips: (1) an Exacto knife helps in dissecting the book, and I'd have your frames handy at that point as well to size your cuts correctly; and (2) here are some things that take less time than cutting, framing & aligning 26 letters: EVERYTHING.

Lost years of my life aside, I'm secretly delighted with how this turned out:

I left the messy counters as is just to keep it real, 'yo.

Our book edition came with a poster displaying the letters, which I laminated & posted at the wee CEO's eye level.

"P is for Pretty", obvs.

I'll bore you with a more comprehensive playroom re-do post once I get a few nit-picky details in place. Speaking of boring you with project ideas I've "borrowed". . .

Magnetized Chalkboard Directions (Subtitle: "I Can't Believe I'm Posting Craft Directions")

Since I was flooded - FLOODED! - with inquiries about that crafty little magnetized chalkboard I did up for our play area - if by "flooded" we mean a handful of you sorta asked - here's a brief how-to for this cheap & easy (insert Kardas*hian joke here) one:

Materials Needed
- 1 drip oil-pan (hardware stores & Walmart - eek- have these for approx. $10)
- 1 can chalkboard spray paint (sold in same section as the usual spray paint)
- 1 tarp to (1) conceal crafting shame & (2) lay under pan while spraying
- 1 fashion magazine, the snootier/less attainable, the better
- 1 block medium-grade sandpaper
- 1 package permanent mounting squares (I used these)
- bonus magnet materials: craft store wooden figures and adhesive magnet squares

Step 1: open "Vogue" or similar; pause to consider how much your life has changed PK (post-kid).

Step 2: sand top of oil pan thoroughly - you want to rough up the surface so the paint sticks better. Or something like that. It made sense at the time (see step 1).

Step 3: spray top of pan with one coat of paint. Wait 30 minutes or so, repeat.

Step 4: let dry for 24 hours, then run a piece of chalk sideways-like over board to ensure you've got enough paint layers on there.

Step 5: apply self-adhesive squares to back corners & center of pan to hang. Voila:

Step 6, if you're feeling ambitious: I slapped some adhesive magnet squares on the back of some wooden figurines from the craft store - yes, those places still give me the artificial flower-encrusted hives - and - presto! - magnets.

Again, this project was a combination of two other originals, so you may want to reference my original post/links for directions from people who actually appear to know what they're talking about vs. me.

***

Brilliant, right - or are you just dying to re-arrange that alphabet wall to spell "SOCCER MOM SELL-OUT"?

"We're Leaving the House" Waltz

2012-02-13T14:31:00.001-06:00

(Set to the tune of Strauss' "Blue Danube Waltz", in the key of Toddler) (Yes, I had to look up the name of that one, which I previously knew as the "BUM BUM" song) (Which is surely the title to Jay-Z's next classical single)

(Oh, and don't forget to check & see if you're the lucky Shabby Apple giveaway winner here!)

(Parentheses)

***

We're leaving the house . . . (bum bum, bum bum)

Forgetting my keys . . . (bum bum, bum bum)

And also the child . . . (BUM BUM, bum bum)

Who's off running wild . . . (BUM BUM, bum bum)

His diaper is soiled . . . (BUM BUM, bum bum)

Too long have I toiled . . . (BUM BUM, bum bum)

Just trying to depart . . . (BUM BUM bum bum BUM)

Thought I was smart . . . (BUM BUM BUM)

But my phone and son have . . . disappeared (BUM BUM BUM bum bum bum BUM BUM)

Master P's new hiding place

Anyone else singing this song today?

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner - "Shabby Apple" Giveaway

2012-02-13T08:00:00.001-06:00

What better way to start off a Monday than with a free frock from Shabby Apple? That honor goes to . .

Ms. Mary - congratulations! I'll email you in a bit; you'll have 48 hours from the time I send that email to respond, or ELSE! No, no - just, um, I'll draw another name if I don't hear back from you by then.

Thank you all for your interest ~~in winning free stuff~~. Busy day today here at Pretty HQ, but I'll be back asap-ly with more quasi-craftiness. Sort of. It involves books, at least, so that makes it less nerdy - right? Riiiiight . . .

A Pretty Silhouette

2012-02-10T20:30:00.003-06:00

None of the products mentioned below are paid or solicited placements, blah blah blah zzz . . .

***

It will come as a great surprise to precisely none of you that I like old-timey things like silhouette art, a craft which somehow brings me closer to the Jane Austen movie of my life (Colin Firth edition, obvs.). Somehow.

With Valentine's Day just around the corner, I've spied a number of silhouette-y gift ideas around these interwebs. What better way to surprise someone you love than with the, um, shape of your head? Yes. Whatever. It works:

Left / Right

Speaking of silhouettes, Master P & I worked on one of our Valentine's gifts for me the Anonymous Husband today . . . thanks to fellow Mommy Mafioso & killer photographer Ziem, Master P had a session with renowned silhouette artist Karl Johnson.

Turns out "renowned" means "worked Reese Wit*herspoon's wedding & To*m Cruise's birthday party", which I didn't find out until after the sitting. Not that I would have peppered him with 1,572 questions about imaginary BFF Reese had I known. Nope. Um.

Anywhoo, I love the results so much, I have two copies on display. In theory, I'm intending to give one of these to a grandmother-type person. In theory:

. . . the traditional framed silhouette . . .

. . . and the modern, kids' art gallery "frame" (Pinterest how-to here)

Austin parents, Karl will be here doing sittings throughout the weekend; check his Facebook page for further details.

I'm silhouette smitten - anyone else getting in on this old/new trend?

TOMS Spring '12: Pretty Goes Granola

2012-02-09T14:06:00.001-06:00

Point the first: don't forget to enter my Shabby Apple dress giveaway of supreme superbness!

Point the second: this is not a paid or solicited post in any way; sadly, it's merely the result of my own shopping ~~vice~~ hobby.

***

Brussel sprouts. The Prius. Al Gore. Things that are good for you tend to be, well . . . they're usually not the Prettiest, are they?

I've long thought this of TOMS shoes, much as I've wanted to love them for their "For each pair you buy, a unicorn gets its horn" policy (or child in need gets a pair - something like that) and Austin street cred. The ubiquitous sparkly little girl ones are darling, of course, but I just couldn't talk myself into their aggressively spartan women's wares . . .

. . . until now, that is. TOMS has taken a turn for the classic, so I'm test driving the following ballet flats:

"Alessandra" (sadly, now showing as sold out)

"Gisele"

As a long-time parishioner at the Church of (Tory) Burch, I feel a bit traitorous about this, if also pleased to have a lighter-on-the-wallet Revas alternative. I'm less likely to cry should these suffer a sandbox scuff on one of our playground runs.

Speaking of, I happened upon some shoe happiness for the wee CEO too; brace yourself for . . . TEENY TINY BOAT SHOES (apologies for the Caps Lock shouting, but you'll see what I mean):

"Chambray Bimini"

At nearly half the price of the toddler Sperry Topsiders I've been eyeing, these were an obvious choice for my mini style blogger in training. (Speaking of price, promo code "ShareToms" was working for $5 off as of this writing.)

I'll report back with our fashion findings on these once they arrive - do you think my Angel*ina Jolie Smug Earth Mummy merit badge will be included with package?

Shabby Apple Dress Giveaway of Magnificent Splendor

2012-02-08T20:43:00.001-06:00

This is a solicited giveaway, in that the nice ladies of Shabby Apple reached out to me. That's it, though - I was not paid for this, nor am I affiliated with the company in any other way. As always, all opinions/language stated here are my own, for better or worse (worse).

***

See, I told you it would get a lot less soccer mom here today - as in, one free dress for the lucky winner of this fab Shabby Apple giveaway!

You read that correctly, darlings - you're not only lucky enough to read this here blog- stop laughing - but you can also enter to win the dress of your choice from Shabby Apple's chic dress selection.

Speaking of, I happily got lost at over at Shabby Apple's site for no small amount of time when researching this post - if we can call traipsing through piles of Pretty dresses "research" - perusing their darling, vintage-y wares; here are a few favorites, though it was tres difficult to narrow it down:

Left / Right

(Mildly Relevant Sidebar: Not only does Shabby Apple inspire me to buy dresses, photos like these also make me want to travel to exotic destinations. Granted, waking up in the morning makes me want to travel, but . . .)

Sooooo, you're probably wondering how to enter this here contest, eh? Ok, ok - here's the skinny:

Please leave me ONE comment only - you don't want to risk my Icy Glare by testing me on this one - including your email address (which will only be used to contact you if you're the lucky winner), pinky swearing that you've done the following:

For one entry, "Like" Shabby Apple on Facebook here;
For one additional entry, re-Tweet or post or carrier pigeon, etc. this contest.

Contest entries close this Friday at 11:59 pm CST; winner will be selected via Random.org thingy & announced Monday, February 13th. Apologies to my international friends - which isn't code for my secret Latin lover, for once - but entries are limited to US residents.

That's not all, though - Shabby Apple is also generously offering 10% off to all Pretty readers! Use promo code "ipickpretty10off" for your next Shabby Apple purchase; I certainly will be just as soon as I can whittle my overloaded cart down to a reasonable size. Promo code du awesome will be live for the next 30 days, so shop shop shop away.

That's it - just the dose of Pretty we needed, right? Good luck, and happy dress shopping!

Will "Vogue" Cancel My Subscription for This?

2012-02-07T20:36:00.002-06:00

Mildly Important Subtitle: "Not That I Have Time / Energy / Money to Properly 'Vogue' Now, But It's the Principle of the Thing. You'll Pry That Subscription Out of My Cold, (Still Manicured, Occasionally!) Dead Hands."

Not to worry, darlings - it isn't terminally serious. I mean, I haven't started wearing Crocs or anything else truly poisonous to the soul.

But . . . but . . .

Today was both awesome and a reminder of just how far I've strayed from the days when my biggest joy was whatever shoe bargain I'd unearthed. I'm still just as superficial, of course, but these are the Smug Mummy days when I find a peace beyond a Pretty fashion find.

Amongst today's highlights, Master P and I went to our first Little Gym class - and it's up for debate who adored it more. Hand to heart at one point I was crawling around on the floor barking like a dog, and not even in an ironic or kinky way.

That in and of itself isn't so bad, though - I imagine even the Plum Sykeses of the world, the most "Vogue" of Voguettes, enjoys a toddler gym class every now and again. It gets worse, however . . .

I crafted. AGAIN. And I had fun doing it. *hangs head in shame*

Still suffering from a severe case of Pinterest-itis, today I finished my piece de resistance, this drip pan turned magnetic chalkboard & magnets for the wee CEO's play area. Unlike my last burst of creative energy, this was cheap, this was easy - insert joke here - and I'd do it again to see the delight on Master P's face when he discovered it after his naptime (speaking of resistance):

"Holy (stuff), Mama went to the craft store TWICE and Walmart to do this. I hardly know her anymore." He's too young for the chalk but loved the magnets.

Before you start calling me Martha, I do not - I do not, you can't make me, nanny nanny boo boo! - take credit for this project idea. Not only because I'm only crafty in the diabolical sense, but because my board was the hybrid of two other bloggers' original posts - here and here. Also, I'm guessing you're here not for craft ideas but for . . . ? Shoe purchase enabling? Nevertheless, I will post how step-by-step directions of this mash-up if anyone is interested.

For a similar idea - adorable fabric-covered magnet board - check out today's post from my sister wife mommyblogger favorite, AP. Apparently I'm not only infected with the Pinterest but also inadvertently knocking off my favorite bloggers, so at least my knack for being derivative is still intact (if not my pride).

In all seriousness, it felt wonderful to have gotten it "right" today with my wee CEO, one in which he was clearly enjoying the day's events. Not to say we don't almost always have fun, but there was just a joy beyond stilettos here today.

And with that, I'm off for some restorative "In Style" reading - just after I finish this alphabet wall project. Apparently this Pinterest thing is catching, so you all may want to log off your laptops and hide beneath the nearest "Elle" until it passes.

***

If you're still here reading after all the soccer mom stuff of late, I have a chic, clothes-not-children giveaway lined up for tomorrow, followed by more shoes. Do the shoes cancel out the crafts? Pretty please?

The Smug Mummy Evaluates: Why French Parents are Better (?)

2012-02-06T08:11:00.001-06:00

In a surprising turn of events this weekend, I learned I'm apparently both French & an awesome parent:

Photo Credit (less the expertly drawn berets): Ziem Photography

Let me explain - this article, which has been peppering my Facebook feed with mommyblogger gusto, claims that the French have figured out certain aspects of raising young children which pose a struggle for Americans. Specifically, it claims the French have mastered the art of parenting well without doing so too closely - avoiding the "helicopter" parent phenomenon - by allowing kids to have independent play time and setting firm behavior boundaries.

Once I got over my immediate need to roll my eyes - "Sweet sandwiches, we need ANOTHER article telling us how we're terrible parents? First the French are better dressed than us, now they get to be better moms & dads too?" I sighed - I actually read the article and found myself nodding at much of it. Don't get me wrong - I'm not one of those Francophiles who thinks Paris is the center of the universe either, much as I've adored my tourist time there - but it struck me that there may be something to this.

I let my wee CEO have time to safely play independently - ~~never mind that some of that is motivated by my desire to make the occasional restroom trip unaccompanied~~, but . . . doesn't everyone, French or otherwise? How else will he learn to make decisions, to create and play, by himself?

I also believe that calm-but-firm & consistent limits are something parents and children want and benefit from - within reason, of course. I'm just trying to imagine implementing the example given in that article, where a French parent suggests not chasing a child around the playground but instead calmly giving orders from a comfortable bench perch, and the inevitable ER trip that would result. Maybe it's due to his young age, but when it comes to preventing Master P from making a leap off the nearest playscape, call me a helicopter parent. Again, though, isn't everyone on board with some limits, regardless of nationality?

What may prove most controversial is the idea that children are to form themselves around the adults' lives, versus the perceived American method of doing the reverse The author cites articles saying that, thanks to the American bending over backwards to suit our kids' whims, we're less satisfied with parenting - actually preferring housework (!) in many cases - than our French counterparts.

I'm not sure where I stand on this except to say - if at any point scrubbing toilets seems more enjoyable than raising my wee CEO, or anything at all, something has gone horribly, horribly wrong. That being said, why have the kids if you don't intend to change your lives, and happily so, a bit for them?

Though I'm highly skeptical of any claims that there is One Right Way to Parent - having liberated myself from those facist baby books, I've no inclination to indoctrinate myself again - I may check out the book this article is based on. A lot of this seems not exclusively French but mere common sense, and that's something in which even ~~especially~~ this Smug Mummy can use a refresher course.

What do you think - is this article something that makes sense to you, or is it more of the same eye-rolling stuff designed to sell books & make parents feel bad? And how awesome do Master P & I look in those literally & figuratively sketchy berets?

***

Stay tuned for a supercalifashionista giveaway of much fab this Wednesday . . .

Jackie O & the Pinterest Problem

2012-02-03T05:05:00.003-06:00

You know when you get one of those day-dreamy mental pictures of what having kids might be like?

Image from Life.com via Pinterest

When this image popped up in my Pinterest feed the other day, I couldn't help but laugh; this is one of the most idyllic - and fraudulent - depictions of that sort of mental confection I've seen. Camelot indeed.

Don't get me wrong - like any ~~girl young lady~~ thirtysomething person worth her pearls, I 'ship at the altar of our former First Lady & High Priestess of Prep here. The thing is, this image of a woman perfectly coiffed, calmly working on her Art whilst her equally well-turned out daughter quietly paints in the background, is . . . um . . . not something this mother of a young toddler boy / wildebeest recognizes, though I confess I envisioned scenes like this PK ("pre-kid", natch).

Seized by a case of the Pinterest - you swear that sort of thing could never happen to a nice, Nordstrom-loving girl like you - in the past week I somehow decided the wee CEO and I were going to get artistic. Crafty, even, and not in my usual diabolical sense. There were trips to multiple craft and home improvement stores involved. I was going to foster my child's creativity! Weave a magical, stimulating home environment in which his budding young creative mind could thrive! Exclamation point!

Readers, I am not proud. This is coming from the blogger who used to believe in "homemade" only to the extent I could buy an item lovingly made in someone else's home. Somehow this all feels like the inaugural tumble down the slippery slope to a minivan and mom jeans.

Speaking of broken dreams, here's how our decidedly non-Jackie O salon du toddler art is going so far:

- Crayons eaten by dog, as fed to him by toddler (3)
- Dogs now sick from crayon ingestion (1)
- Marker stains on hardwood floors despite fraudulent "washable" claim (3)
- Crayons stuffed under the couch (6)
- Child prodigy drawings produced, thus assuring early admission to HarvarYaleOxforPrinceton (0)
- Child drawings produced of any sort whatsoever (0)
- Half-completed gallery walls, as designed by yours truly (1) (photos to come, like it or not!) (not)

Um, yeah. So I may shelve the crayons for a few months until Master P shows more of an interest in, you know, drawing with them. I am, however, going to persist in finishing off the few playroom crafts I've started, if only to show that I can - and, truth be told, because I'm secretly enjoying it. EEK.

Beware the Pinterest, kids; as far as I know, there's no cure for it yet. Or is there - what would Jackie O do?

My Son the Style Blogger

2012-02-01T20:19:00.000-06:00

I can just see you rolling your eyes, "A toddler style blogger - what, like one of those "outfit of the day" ones that (adult) bloggers do? What dim-witted idea are you scheming up now?"

Bear with me here. Consider:

Shirt: BabyGap (thrifted) / Shorts (Children's Place, old) / Shoes: H&M (thrifted) / Pensive Stare into Middle Distance: (genetics)

He is . . .

(1) Staring pensively into the middle distance (of the refrigerator, perhaps, but no matter);
(2) Wearing a suspiciously nice outfit given his income level;
(3) Sporting an entirely "thrifted" outfit save the shorts, which were a gift;
(4) Mysteriously always accompanied by someone with a DSLR camera at the ready.

I mean, have I just stumbled onto a lucrative blog niche here, if not the new hit toddler reality TV series - all he needs is an agent and some of those "c/o" free clothes from Prada or similar ~~free handbags for the nightmare stage mom I'm destined to become~~ and we're good to go, right? Right?

(PS - Where is that Sarcasm Font when I need it, where where where?)

(PPS - Pretty please see my mama role model OH Mommy's post for an example of an actually good idea for a kiddo blog, entirely unlike the drivel you see here. xoxo)

Smug-Worthy Valentine's Day Gift Ideas for Men

2012-01-31T22:27:00.001-06:00

Subtitle: "I Meant to Post This Earlier, but Then I Got a Flat Tire. And Then the Car Battery Died. No, Really. All Because I Went to the Craft Store (!) and Was on My Way Home to Test Drive a Complicated Recipe. This is What I Get for Trying to Be a Suzy Homemaker Type. Lesson learned, Universe. Lesson Learned."

Sub-subtitle: "I Like Long Titles"

See Also This Important, Special Note: None of the items mentioned below are in any way paid or solicited placements, blah blah blah . . .

***

Not to get all cliched about it, but we women don't actually need to buy our men anything for Valentine's Day - they just want one thing, after all . . .

. . . our undying love.

(What, you thought I was going to say s-e-x? Not a chance - I have a prudish pretense to keep up here at the Pretty. Besides, I couldn't figure out how to import "sex" into Polyvore.)

For those of us not inclined to give just the, er, standard gift, finding the right gift for our respective men can be a bit of a problem. If only they were as easy as we women . . . for example, this Smug Married is delighted with any gift falling within the Holy Trinity - jewelry, spa gift cards, and more jewelry - though I'd happily accept anything my favorite blogging Smug Newlywed, Belle on Heels, assembled here. ~~Hint, hint.~~

Here are the best, Smug-worthy gifts for the boys, from budget to major bacon:

(Clockwise from Upper Left):

Bacon Wrapping Paper - show me a man who doesn't love something wrapped in bacon, and I'll show you . . . um, not the Anonymous Husband.
Bacon Wrapped Steak - see above
Rugby Shirt - model not included, unfortch
Bose Noise-Cancelling Headphones - I stole this gift idea from the divine Freckled Citizen a few years back; my travelin' husband type was mighty impressed.
"Mad Men" Season 4 DVDs - nothing says "romance" like "cheating bastards in killer suits"
Beer Making Kit - for the DIY drunkard
Cigar Boxed Set / Grooming Kit - as if cigars didn't stink enough, now your man can smell like them 24/7
Mustache Tumblers - the closest the AH will ever get to an authorized 'stache
Filson Padded Laptop Bag - (thanks, @whitericebryce, for the rec)
Old Tom Foolery Cards - for the smartass sweetheart

Whaddaya think? You just want me to do a giveaway with the bacon wrapping paper, don't you?

The Husband Wish List Revisited

2012-01-30T14:01:00.002-06:00

A huge, smoochy thank you for those of you who linked up & commented on my decision to be a stay-at-home-mom extravaganza! I'd double check those links if I were you; we have a few new link-ups from the weekend, all Pretty fabulous. Mwah.

If you're still interested in posting about this but haven't had the time yet, or you've already posted about my *hugely original and never been done before in the history of the Interwebs* subject here, please go ahead and link-up at your convenience - I'll leave it live through this Friday, Feb. 3rd.

And now, for something not at all different . . .

***

Of all the mistakes you can make as a blogger, checking the tangled Google search paths that lead readers to your site - and by "tangled", of course I mean "pervy" - may be the biggest one.

Nevertheless, ever on the quest to provide you with deeply relevant and terribly meaningful content - stop laughing - I went diving into those search engine terms this weekend and was amazed. No small number of you are getting here via this post, in which I revealed my not-at-all embarrassing and immature (ahem) high school-era list of traits I wanted in a husband.

Not to take the hormonal ramblings of this high school dreamer too (at all) seriously, but it got me thinking about whether we can ever really define what our respective ideal partners look like. I grappled with coming up with a new list here. Re-reading that post from 2 years ago, it seems that a while back I may have advised that plan of action.

And yet . . . yet . . . now that I'm a veteran of FIVE WHOLE YEARS of Smug Marriedness, therefore clearly an expert on the institution, I'd throw that list out the window. If only it were as easy as a list. You have no idea how much this Type A Minus wishes there was a tidy checklist involved. Thing is, knowing what you think you want in a partner is essential, but being open to the reality of messy, actual other people is a big part - the part - too.

If I could talk to list-writing High School Melissa, I'd tell her (me?) that instead of focusing on what I wanted in someone else, I should concentrate on - wait for the sunshine-and-rainbows "Oprah" trite moment here - going about the business of making myself even more fabulous - and looking into highlights for this (repeat after me, class) "completely natural blonde hair", not necessarily in that order.

You know what you want in a spouse-type already, pinky swear. It's that person who makes you better than yourself. Not just that, but who makes you want to be better. He or she won't look or act exactly how you or your Type A lists thought he/she would, but isn't that how life usually goes?

The list-worthy Anonymous Husband on our wedding day (Photo Credit: Winfield Little Photography)

I leave you with this, random wanderers of the Internets (welcome!) and regular readers alike - if you have to look up Loverboy's traits to see if he makes the Husband List, he probably doesn't. By all means, do a Google search to ensure he hasn't any relevant prison stays (or irrelevant prison stays, come to think) - then throw out those lists. You'll know the one. Pinky swear.

Decision to Be a Stay-at-Home-Mom: Mine & Link-Up to Yours

2012-01-27T07:34:00.002-06:00

***Dissertation-level lengths of my drivel below - sorry! - with link-up at the very end for you kind souls playing along . . .***

Making decisions for someone not yet conceived, for a situation you have no experience with - easy, right?

Um, no - not for anyone outside of Reality TV land, I imagine, and certainly not for the Anonymous Husband and me.

That being said, how we wanted to parent our imaginary future children was something that we talked from our early dating days (when we weren't otherwise busy staring schmoopily at one another, Classy Fab Sarah-style.)

Yes, you read that correctly - despite what Those People Who Know Everything say, my desire to have children was something I wasn't afraid to discuss with my gentleman callers. It had been a deal-breaker in past relationships ~~with lovable South American asshats~~ for me, and I resolved that I wasn't going to get seriously involved again with someone who didn't feel the same way.

I'll never forget the moment during our festive "Let's pick a city to move to together" negotiations - the AH and I dated long-distance at first - in which the AH mentioned Texas as a good settling spot, since we could afford to have a parent staying at home here. It was one of those warm n' fuzzy moments when I knew I'd stumbled upon someone who shared my picket-fenced view of the future.

Photo Credit: Nicole Mlakar-Photography

So we knew that we were working towards the possibility of a stay-at-home parent, and we did some groundwork that allowed us to officially make that decision six years later. Here's how we decided I'd be a stay-at-home-mom:

It was what we knew

Both the AH & I had a stay-at-home parent & felt that we had benefited from that. In his case, it was his mother who stayed at home; in my case, it was my incredible grandparents (it would take far more time, wine, and therapy to get into the details of it here, but basically my grandparents took over while my mother pursued her military career).

Importantly, because we'd both grown up with what we saw as a good model of stay-at-home parenting, we saw that move for us not as one parent "getting away with something" by not working, but as a marriage of two equals contributing differently but just as importantly to the family.

We took stock of our career aspirations & personalities

From the minute we met, the AH was the one happiest in his job, and the one earning significantly more. He thrives in a busy office setting & is at his best with a lot of people around. As is typical with the wildly glamorous lawyer lifestyle, he's also always worked very long hours, so from the get-go we were concerned that with two working parents, our (imaginary) children wouldn't see much of either one of us.

On the other, manicured hand, I suspected early on that the law wasn't going to be my lifelong career. I'd proven over seven years of practice that I could do it; like these women, I knew that if I stayed home I wouldn't wonder if I'd missed out on professional achievement. I'm also a recovering introvert who doesn't need the hustle & bustle of an crowd to be content, and I'm better when I'm running my own show (read: veteran student body president & bossypants).

I also tend to get . . . fairly driven, shall we say, when I'm really interested in something; that trait would have lent itself nicely to a career in law but for the "really interested" bit. I figured that when it came to my future children that even though there were many (MANY) other people more qualified to care for them, no one would care about it more than I did. I also knew this drive would mean I'd get frazzled by attempting to balance job, child, and wifery.

Also? There was just that feeling I've always had . . . my fellow religious types might characterize this as a "calling". Whichever phrase works for you, I had a hunch that I'd want to stay at home; the thought of it just filled me with that peace of the Right Answer. I wasn't comfortable making that final decision until our baby arrived & I got a real sense for what staying at home was like, but on some level, I knew.

Photo Credit: Ziem Photography (hi, Z!)

We laid the financial foundation (read: the "Duh" step)

As the Dowager Countess of Awesome would say, "Oh, good - let's talk about money!"

Let me address the sparkly pink elephant in the room: "Wait one second, Ms. Pretty," I can hear you thinking, "You used to be a lawyer, and your husband still is one. This means you're gazillionaires who live in a sparkly pink palace and don't need to worry about things like money. Your advice couldn't possibly apply to us."

It just ain't so, darlings. Granted, the AH & I are extremely fortunate to be able to comfortably pay our bills, save, and have some extra left over - and not a day goes by that I'm not grateful for that, truly. Being able to make huge financial leaps like quitting a job without significant planning, however, is very much not something we were or are able to do.

To that end, we planned from the get-go of our marriage for the stay-at-home possibility, including these steps:

- Establishing an emergency savings fund (6 months is what we felt comfortable with);
- Buying a house for which we could comfortably afford payments on one income;
- Eliminating all non-mortgage & consolidated student loan debt, to the extent possible;
- Getting all of that boring life paperwork stuff (life insurance, wills, health insurance) sorted;
- Tracking all of our expenses for one month - down to every penny spent - to get a more realistic picture of what life on one income would look like.

I really, sort of, entirely, totally, 100% LOATHE talking about financial thingies like this, since we all have our individual incomes and priorities and Life Stuff to deal with here. I'm not saying these steps are required for everybody, of course, but these are the ones that worked for us.

Things to Consider About the Stay-at-Home Decision

Everything Those People say about how you love your child more than you've ever dreamed possible, even when you don't like said child very much, is true. There's rainbows and unicorns aplenty. That being said, here are a few things I'd advise any potential stay-at-home-parent to consider . . .

Are you good at being your own boss?

The thought of filling a day's worth of activities and snacks and naps (and snacks, and more snacks) for your wee one can be intimidating at first. Not only do you start off having little idea of how to do it, if you're like me, but it's strange being the one calling all of the shots for a human being relying entirely on you OMG.

If you're a bossypants like me, calling all the shots comes a bit more naturally, so I like this part of the job. Even so, the weight of being the sole person in charge of the day time decision can still be jarring, even for me. I occasionally suffer from what a friend diagnosed as, "paralysis via the million little decisions you have to make every day."

Also - irony of ironies - though you have company 24-7 as a stay-at-home parent, I still get lonely sometimes for adult conversation - how good would you be at forcing yourself out of the house and into child-friendly social situations (mom groups, library storytime, classes, etc.)? Or do you need that guaranteed structure of an office to feel like you've got company?

Are you good at not being your own boss?

Some days are boring, or your kid is acting like the lost, teething "Jersey Shore" cast member. Whatever ails you, unlike when you worked that desk job, as a stay-at-home parent you can't necessarily just pick up and haul off for lunch or even a quick coffee break. Or you can, but that "quick coffee break" takes an hour after you've loaded the car/ changed the diaper / packed the snacks /forgotten the snacks / forgotten your child inside the house, etc - by which time you've messed up his all precious nap schedule.

Long story long, your time isn't entirely your own anymore - can you deal with the repetitiveness (which some find boring) of the eat-play-nap structure of a newborn or toddler day?

(This isn't at all to say that you working types are off swilling martinis at 3-hour-lunches, but you get what I'm sayin' here. xoxo.)

What would you miss most about your job (aside from your paycheck), and can you live without it? (My answer: lack of validation)

There are no gold stars awarded for doing your job well as a stay-at-home parent, and this Type A Minus occasionally struggles with the lack of worldly kudos for what I'm doing. This is the first time in my life I don't have external pats on the back for a job well (? marginally fine? not at all well?) done.

My former job gave good dinner party - it sounded prestigious, provided me with a decent living, and I had feedback from the boss if I was or wasn't living up to expectations. Feedback from the boss now involves a half-eaten veggie burger being gleefully flung in my direction.

Yes, yes - I know, this is #firstworldproblems at its worst, my missing ego stroking. Alas, I'm merely human - if a human with inordinately good shoes. I can live without the validation just fine - just let me keep the shoes, Pretty please.

Loss of spontaneity

All parents deal with this, working or otherwise, but my struggles with this have related to sorting out how the AH & I still get to pursue our pre-child fun. Part of me throws a pity-party when he's able to call an audible and head to the occasional happy hour after work, whereas I have to strategize like an army captain leading troops to war just to make a girl's night out. I don't question his desire to do so on occasion, and he doesn't abuse the ability - I just sometimes envy that freedom to do so on a moment's notice.

***

Any questions, class? This look about right to you, other stay-at-home parents?

Please remember to LINK-UP below to your own Pretty posts . . .

Dressing Your Baby or Toddler Boy on a Budget, Smug Mummy-Style

2012-01-26T10:13:00.002-06:00

I've had some fab questions about tomorrow's "decision to stay-at-home-parent" link-up along the lines of who can participate - anyone is welcome, whether you're currently a SAHP or just seriously considering it. The idea is to give some food for thought to those considering the move about however you've reached your decision.

I'll also try to get my own post up early in the a.m., so you morning people - you know who you are, ye of much perkiness - can link-up sooner than my usual nap-hour posting time, emphasis on "try".

And yes, I promise, this will be my final reminder - sort of like the final Bachelor rose, but without crushing anyone's dreams on national television. *cue ominous music & Chris Harrison appearance*.

***

You know what they say about baby boys - if they aren't dressed well from the get-go, they have no chance in life.

Ok, precisely no one is saying that, but surely a well-dressed tot can't hurt? Call me shallow - it's ok, you're not the first - but in those Dark Newborn Ages, a darling onesie or smocked bubble never hurt Master P's chances of making it out alive.

In any event, I've received some sweet inquiries about Master P's sweet, sweet wardrobe, so I figured I'd spill my secrets here. I'm hardly the first to cover this territory - check out the stellar boy wardrobe roundups done by my favorites Amy, AP & Erin - but I thought I'd give my Texifornian take, which includes a little Texas, smocked traditional, ~~a little~~ a lot prep, and a little trendy, if only because it gives me an excuse to trot out photos like this again:

From local boutique favorite Baby Bugaloo - see details below

As mothers of boys know, the selection of Smug-worthy apparel for infant & toddler boys is, shall we say, limited. I confess that, when Master P's gender-reveal ultrasound showed the man bits, I had a shopaholic's moment of panic - BUT WHAT WILL HE WEAR? (Yes, yes - #firstworldproblems blah blah blah).

The thing is, the smaller amounts of boy stuff makes finding the gems easier - and what's more is that there's almost never cause to pay full price for them. I like buying quality items - as you'll see below, when the budget permits I'd rather pay a bit more for something that won't fall apart in a few washes - but I do not enjoy paying full price.

Here's my secret: I can count on one hand the items for which I've paid retail. Having a boy has turned me into a bargain hunter - better late than never, eh? Money saved on the clothes the wee CEO will outgrow in 3 months is better put towards his college fund ~~Mama's Celine tote fund.~~

My three rules of infant & toddler boy shopping are as follows:
- Never pay retail, particularly for special occasion / little worn items;
- (Esp. for infants) Try to buy one size & one season ahead of where your boy is currently;
- Always check consignment & discount retailers before retail.

Keeping those in mind, here's what has worked best for us, organized by brand & location:

Everyday/Play Wear Brands:
Carters (particularly for onesies & sleepers in infant stage; check Costco & brand outlet for deals)
BabyGap (both in-store & online; check Ebates for cash-back deal & sign up for Gap emails to get discounts)
Janie & Jack (look for their "Friends & Family" 30% off sale)
Ralph Lauren (good sales w/ Ebay & department stores; we lucked out here w/ hand-me-downs & consignment finds too)
Silly Goose (Viva Le Fete's casual smocked line; check Facebook smocked auction sites below)
Stride Rite (for shoes; subscribe to their emails for sale info)
Target (Note: quality is hit or miss, so I'm not linking to them online - check in-store vs. ordering online; we have found some good, inexpensive basics there, but it's always a search.)

Sleepwear
Carters (Note: Master P will be in footed PJs until puberty or whenever he objects, whichever comes later)
The Children's Place (check in-store for sales)

Special Occasion Brands:
Janie & Jack (for our non-smocked, prep looks)
Smockadot Kids (Facebook smocked auction site)
Smocked Auctions (Facebook smocked auction site)
Zulily (check Mr. Rebates or Ebates for cash-back discount first)
Viva Le Fete (check Facebook smocked auction sites & Zulily)

Austin Favorites:
- Baby Bugaloo
- Sparkle Kids Re-Sale
- Moms of Multiples Consignment Sale

Now that Master P is moving into 2t/ toddler size territory, we'll be testing out some new brands; I will report back as we find good bargains.

Moms, any suggestions for lines I've missed? Any questions or more specifics that would be helpful?

How Preschool Hunting (Smug Mummy-Style) is Like Dating

2012-01-25T11:24:00.002-06:00

Here's yet another reminder about my stay-at-home-parent writing prompt & link-up for this Friday, January 27th. Link-ups - more fun than your annual OBGYN exam!

(But what isn't, you ask?) (Um . . .) (Whatever.) (Parentheses.)

***

Could this be The One?

Will I just magically know the One when I meet it? Will there be butterflies?

I'm not having a good hair day. OMG I'm not having a good hair day. Dear St. Catherine, Patron Saint of Shiny Locks and Princes of England, please help. OMG.

Will we want the same things out of life, that same mystical mix of work & play?

Will there be awkward pauses in the conversation, or will our Q&A flow easily?

Given that this is Austin, will they be too much of a hippie for me?

Given that this is Austin, will I not be enough of a hippie for them? (Sidebar: Any ideas on where I could find some tie-dyed organic vegan loafers at the last minute?)

Most importantly, will they get how awesome we are?

And by "we' I obvs. mean "Master P" - and that rad, 80's-style thrifted shirt he's sporting. Real men wear pink.

Thanks to your brilliant advice about my preschool worries, I'm touring yet another preschool tonight, trusting my Jedi Mom Instincts whispering that I need to continue searching for The One. I'm keeping the faith - after all, if my instincts led me to my very first & favorite husband - love you, AH - surely I can manage this too?

Please & thank you for sending me good thoughts and any brilliant questions I should be asking the staff - and, most importantly, a complete, 180 degree hair turnaround . . .

Smug-Worthy Spring '12 Bags

2012-01-24T14:48:00.001-06:00

None of the products shown below are paid or solicited placements, though - as Saks is my witness - I'd accept payment in purses. Call me, Hermes! In the unforgettable words of Richard Marx, I'm right here waiting . . .

***

I just can't keep up the pretense anymore.

After yesterday's actually serious post, as well as my stay-at-home-parent link-up idea (JOIN US - it's cheap & easy! *insert joke here*!) , I just can't keep pretending to be a woman of substance.

Today, we go back to our roots here at the Pretty - aspiring to be Prettier than everyone else. After all, what's more important one's roots . . . which reminds me that I'm overdue for a touch-up of my completely natural blonde streaks.

Ahem.

Anywhoo, on this dreary winter's day here in Austin - no, really, we have rain and hail and weather-y stuff happening - my mind keeps wandering to this felicitous Kate Spade ad image:

Image via Prepaganda (and also Nina, I believe?); I'll be copying this look with lookalike-but-cheaper Old Navy jeans here.

That bright jolt of color, contrasted with that preppish, neutral navy top half, has got me in a spring sort of way despite the clouds. Naturally, this led me to thinking about refreshing my bag collection for spring. Naturally. I mean, I need some playful, colored bags to play off my neutral Smug-Worthy shoes, right?

Not that I will be doing any refreshing, mind you - I'm sticking with my Pippa and saving my pennies for some upcoming travel - but some of you may have a husband who needs to *accidentally* stumble across this post before Valentine's / Please Don't Buy Me One of Those Complicated Negligee Thingies Day. You know, just by chance. Because you left this post up on your monitor clear as day. Oops.

Whether you're avoiding a bad Valentine's gift or the weather, here's the best of what I've found so far, from the frugal to fantasy, I'll-never-own-this-but-it's-so-PRETTY leagues:

Left: Kate Spade "Rosa" (Edited to Add: "Rosa" on sale here as of today 1/27/12) / Right: Co-Lab by Christopher Kon "Frankie"

"Starter Smug" Note: I struggled to find bags I loved in this price/age range, which is entirely typical of my "champagne tastes, beer budget" proclivities. That "Frankie" bag clocks in at under $100, which qualifies in my checkbook, though the "Rosa" is more Starter bag in look than in $$.

Left: Modalu "Pippa"; Right: MICHAEL Michael Kors "Hamilton East West"

"Operation MILF" Note: Fellow "Pippa"-philes, Modalu has a bevy of beee-you-tiful new colors out, including this "Sunrise Orange" one. It's so warm & on-trend with the Pantone's "color of the year", Tangerine Tango, isn't it?

Left: Celine "Luggage" Tote (waiting list only for this version); Right: Reed Krakoff "Soft Boxer"

"All-Star Smug" Note: Please don't mistake me - I am not suggesting that any of you spend bazillions of dollars on a handbag; I certainly can't. Like with art in a museum, certain bags exist to be admired from afar ~~though I seriously contemplated a life of handbag crime when I saw this Celine being used as a diaper bag (!) the other day at the children's museum~~. I'm delighted just knowing that such beauty is out there somewhere in the world.

That being said, if any of you are looking to give away a Cezanne or Celine, I'm your girl.

See anything you like? Want to buy me a bag or, er, priceless work of art?

Not a Post About Being a 1950s Housewife (Not Not Not)

2012-01-23T13:42:00.000-06:00

PSST: Don't forget this Friday's writing prompt & link-up of stupendous wonder and global significance!

***

. . . but I'm afraid you're going to think this of me anyways once I ask my question . . .

So, as I've mentioned a few bazillion times, I adore my current job as a stay-at-home-mom, so much so that I do ~~obnoxious~~ cutesy things like refer to it as a "job" & my child as the "wee CEO".

The thing is, though I love this gig with the fire of a thousand Birkin bags, at the end of the day I am tired in a way I just never was with that deeply prestigious, ~~deeply dull~~ lawyer thang. No, tired isn't the right word - "spent" is what I am now, in thought, word and bank account (ahem).

With many out-of-the-house jobs, once you leave the office there's often a built in break - whether it be a commute, a gym visit, or time alone at house before your significant other arrives. By "break" I of course mean, "Time to lip-sync to truly terrible music while calculating how soon you can get into your Secret Sweatpants of Shame."

Here is what my post-"job" day looks like now: greet Anonymous Husband, who usually arrives home just after I've put Master P to bed; start dinner; switch laundry loads; eat dinner; attempt to have normal adult conversation; attempt to recall what a normal adult conversation is; catch up on bills / email / boring adult requirements. I usually don't sit down, mentally or physically, until 9 pm or so.

Here is what I secretly want to do post-job: collapse into the warm embrace of my DVR and/or laptop and/or the Secret Sweatpants of Shame, preferably all three at once, shifting my mental gears into zoned-out Neutral for at least 30 minutes. Yes, I know - #firstworldproblems to be sure.

This is not - NOT, not, you can't make me! - to say that I'm not entirely delighted to see the AH at the end of the day, nor am I wondering whether I've erred in not offering him a 1950s style cocktail and invitation to trample all over my women's rights as soon as he's arrived home. Not not not!

It's just that I struggle between the desire to be a supportive spouse at the end of the day and the desire to have some time to myself (read: be supportive of the Bravo TV lineup). Both vitally imporant things, obvs.

I know what the obvious answer is here. Roofies.

No, no - it's putting on those proverbial Big Girl Panties and just dealing with it, blah blah blah. I know it is. But . . .

Moms, how do you make that end-of-the-day transition from the mothering thing to the coherent & semi-awake spouse thing? Working parents, I'm guessing this changing of hats is a tricky thing for you beyond what I can possibly imagine - how do you deal?

Off to prepare that rohypnol cocktail while I await your advice . . .

Housekeeping: A Thank You & A Link-Up Idea

2012-01-23T13:07:00.001-06:00

First & foremost, thank you so much for your kind birthday wishes / dirty jokes. I'm a bit overwhelmed at all of your comments and am still wading through them in attempt to respond to you all. It is almost enough to make a girl feel ~~twenty-nine thirty~~ ~~thirty~~-~~one thirty-two~~ thirty-three again. And never-you-mind that I'm probably - ok, certainly - too old to refer to myself as a "girl"anymore.

The downside for you of all this commenting is that I now realize you lovely lurkers are in fact capable of leaving me comments, and therefore I will ~~ask~~ expect you to do so every now and again. Comments - it's what's for lunch! Your American duty! Exclamation point!!!!!

(No, really - thank you.) (I'm being serious.) (For once.) (Parentheses)

***

We - yes, I'm trotting out the Royal We today, because it's Monday - are also testing out something new here this week at Pretty HQ . . . from your recent comments I'm picking up on a number of aspiring stay-at-home moms in the crowd, and I realize that while I've sung the praises of my choice to be a SAHM, I've not done a good job of explaining how my family came to that decision in the first place. Not that the blogosphere is short on SAHMs and our opinions, but I would have loved to have read more from my favorite bloggers about the precision process itself (since I'm obvs. one of your favorites) (obvs.) . . .

. . . this Friday, January 27th, I'm going to post about how I made the decision to stay-at-home, including what I wish I would have known beforehand, and invite any other stay-at-home Operation MILF types (or DILF - we are equal opportunity here at the Pretty!) here to do the same. I'll put up a Linky tool here - or, more accurately, attempt to figure out how those work by Friday - so you can link back to your posts.

(Here's where I wish there was font for "This is not to say that staying at home is the one & only correct parenting decision, not even remotely. It just happens to be the decision that was right for my family, and not necessarily yours, therefore I'm writing about the choice I know. No, really, I bear no judgment here, and you can't make me, nanny nanny boo boo." Any volunteers to work on this for me? Can we get that Sarcasm Font going too?)

If this link-up works out, I'd love to do working mom and cheerfully-child-free versions in the future. Either way, I'm excited to drone on (and on and on) at length about how the Anonymous Husband and I made our choice & read all about yours.

So to review, this Friday + how you decided to be a stay-at-home parent + link-up here = the Awesome

Ok, back in a sec with my actual post of deep significance and global importance . . .

The Best (Worst) Birthday Post Ever & Roll Call

2012-01-20T14:06:00.002-06:00

I had a deeply important and terribly serious mom question all ready for you today, but then I remembered that today is my BIRTHDAY, cha cha cha, and thus not the time to get serious here. You'll just have to wait for Monday, poor dears. Thank you for your patience.

***

The beauty of birthdays - yes, it's my BIRTHDAY, haven't you heard? - beyond age thirty isn't in the decaying image staring back at me in the mirror. As soon as the Baby Factory portion of my life concludes - NO, I AM NOT CURRENTLY WITH CHILD, THANK YOU FOR ASKING - you know I'll be matriculating at the Demi Moore School of Scorched Earth Dermatology a.s.a.p.

No, the wonder of birthdays now is in the simplicity. Alas, the world - or my world, at least - no longer ceases spinning on its axis each January 20th. Elaborate parties and fancy get-ups aren't really part of the equation anymore. The little things I've always wanted, though, that regular, picket fenced life with my best boys, is:

A morning at toddler story time with friends and an evening at the movies with my other, best boys (the Anonymous Husband *and* Colin Firth, forever and ever, amen!) is all I want out of this day, and always.

Well, almost all I want . . . since it is my BIRTHDAY and all, and therefore my day to make ridiculous demands, I'd love to do a roll call here today. For lurker readers - you there, the ones hiding who've never left a comment - I'd love to hear who you are and where you're from and, if you blog, something about your site so I can come investigate. For you regulars, please leave me a love note or dirty joke, your choice; I promise to clutch my pearls accordingly in case of the latter.

I'm off to catch up on my blog reading, which f~~or once~~ is not code for "cocktails". Not 'til tonight, at least.

Ready? ROLL CALL! Exclamation point! (I mean it) (For serious) (Parentheses)

The Smug Marrieds Jet-Set: Napa, Day 3

2012-01-19T14:45:00.002-06:00

This is the third and final post in a series (phew!); here are parts the first and second. Alas, it's not unlike the Kardashians - repetitive and of questionable merit, yet here we are.

Again, none of the wineries, hotels, or restaurants mentioned here are paid or solicited placements, blah blah blah, etc.

***
We awoke on Day 3 of our Napa adventure feeling a bit over-served and missing our wee CEO, Master P; nevertheless, we started off the day with a hearty hotel breakfast in hopes of avoiding the toasted-in-the-tasting-room, buying too much wine trap of yesterday (hint: it didn't). We set out at the crack of dawn - code for "sometime before noon" - to collect our team and sample the Silverado Trail wineries.

Sleep

Our tour guides were staying at the nearby Inn on First bed & breakfast, about which they had nothing but raves; I didn't see the rooms myself, but from the looks of the stylish entry & family-style dining room, this looks like the place for the charming Napa B&B experience. We enjoyed our Westin stay (free thanks to Starwood points) well enough, but I'd save up to stay at a place like this the next time.

Drink

Having collected our hosts from their B&B, we sped off to a . . . quirky mix of wineries. We had a much more hit & mix experience on the Napa side vs. yesterday's Russian River Valley, encountering some iffy wines and tasting room staff who were . . . perhaps a little starved for company, let's say.

Mildly related side note: we tried to stuff 5-6 tastings into a day, which is simply too ambitious for post-collegiate me. Now that I actually have the resources to do stuff like this, my energy level (liver) doesn't. Next time I'd stick to 2-3 tastings per day and build in a healthy siesta or spa visit - siesta *and* spa visit! - before dinner.

The best from a wine & Pretty views perspective was the well-regarded Duckhorn Vineyards, whose less-pricey "Decoy" label is a household staple here at Pretty HQ. Much like dating the high school quarterback, Duckhorn knows it's a good catch and acts accordingly; they don't need your business, but it's tough to argue with why they think highly of themselves:

We were worried after forking over $20 each to the gruff front desk person - the previous wineries we'd visited had a much more laid back, welcoming payment and entry system, in which you only paid a tasting fee if you didn't buy any wine (if they remembered to charge you at all). Nonetheless, we shuffled through the beautiful, crowded tasting room to our seats on the glorious, sun-dappled patio:

No, those are not *all* my wine glasses (with thanks to the Anonymous Cousin / tour guide / stealth fab photographer for snapping this)

Our experience improved greatly once we were seated - our server was kind (read: smiled while pouring generously), that inimitable California sunshine was out in full force, and each & every wine tasted was, well, varsity quarterback level of good. As is our want, we "sampled" too much and purchased accordingly.

Our other stop I'd recommend, scoring highly in those all-important categories of scenery and "White Wines Most Likely to Pair Well with a 'Real Housewives Episode'" (that's a compliment in my soon-to-be-published book, obvs.), was Chateau Boswell, a smaller production winery with a Pretty wine grotto:

I'd call to book ahead here - consistent with many small wineries we came across, they require reservations for tastings - and if you do, brace yourself for a very friendly if . . . chatty tasting room staff. Worth it for the house white, I say - one of my favorites of the trip - and you can't go wrong with the view.

Eat

Speaking of chatty, do I ever have too many nice things to say about pricey-but-religion-changingly-good lunch spot Gott's Roadside (St. Helena location). Gott's looks like an unassuming, 1950s-era charming li'l roadside burger joint, but it is so much more. Like the glutton I am, I completely forgot to take a photo and just focused on devouring my ahi tuna burger and garlic fries instead.

Given the often tight timeframes between scheduled tastings, I recommend pre-ordering your lunch online; by doing so we were able to skip a formidable line and park it on the picnic-bench seating. Sunshine + laughing at the poor fools in long lines = a winner day.

***

We retired early from another long, long day of tasting, eager to get home first thing the following morning but determined to return to Napa as soon as possible - just as soon as we get through the case-and-one-half (!) somebody (ahem, AH) bought & then had to figure out how to ship home. At 5:30 am the morning we were departing. As one does. Ahem.

Summary of My Napa-Area Highlights

Sleep

Inn on First

Westin Verasa Napa

Eat

BarnDiva

Gott's Roadside

Oakville Grocery

Drink

DuMOL

Arista

Pezzi King

Duckhorn

Chateau Boswell

The Smug Marrieds Jet-Set: Napa, Day 2

2012-01-18T16:34:00.001-06:00

This is the second in a three-part travel series - because who doesn't like looking at umpty-million travel photos of a perfect stranger? Just imagine I'm a frumpier Princess Shinylocks Kate Middleton type, and it'll be more interesting, pinky swear.

Oh, and as usual, none of the wineries / restaurants / stores / blah blah blah mentioned here are paid or solicited placements in any way, though I'm volunteering right here & now to be sponsored by any of the below. Pretty please?

***

Drink

After my decadent afternoon in bed and Bouchon dinner, I was a little afraid that our second day of vacation, devoted to wine tasting in the Russian River Valley area (approx. 45 minutes from our Napa lodgings), couldn't possibly live up to the first.

Darlings, I'm happy to report that I was wrong - though that could just be because the Anonymous Husband and I partook in only a light breakfast before hitting the vineyards with some local family, which is how things like this happen:

Ever seen those wine snobs who, with all the pomp & circumstance they can muster, taste a wine and then spit it out? Readers, the Prettys are not those people. Though the burgeoning wine connoiseur AH has me swirling and sniffing the stuff before I taste now, there's no way I'm (a) spitting in public (b) spitting out good wine anywhere, whether in public or private.

It was in that spirit that we - and our designated driver, praise be to her - hit up our first & one of the best wineries, DuMOL Wines. It has the esteemed distinction of being the one winery for which we're actually wine club members *waves jazz hands*. We were confused upon arrival, since instead of the rolling vineyards and foo-foo tasting room we expected, we walked into what looked like an industrial park warehouse:

Which was because we were, in fact, walking not only into where DuMOL's excellent small-production wines are stored and bottled, but also the most helpful education I've ever received on the subject. The apprentice winemaker herself took us around the facility as we ~~chugged~~ tasted DuMOL's excellent wares:

That turkey baster thing you see was used to draw wine out of the barrels - who knew?

This would prove the first of many examples that you cannot judge a winery by it's cover, so to speak - often the less fancy the setting, the better the swill. Our tasting was not in a foo-foo tasting room but in the actual lab, a factoid that sent the winos in our group into paroxyms of delight.

You cannot go wrong any of DuMOLs choices, but I will say the pinots were uniformly excellent & my favorite. I highly, highly recommend the tour and the pre-order wine club *jazz hands*. If trying to book a tour here, check with the office first, since I believe they tour by appointment only; we weren't even charged a tasting fee, but I suspect that may have had to do with the wine club membership *jazz hands*.

Just to directly contradict what I've just said - because where can you be flagrantly inconsistent if not on your own blog? - I recommend our next vineyard mostly for its stunning scenery:

We started off our visit at Pezzi King, another small-production winery, with a poolside boxed lunch (insanely good, BTW - more on that later) and tasting, basking in the sun as we admired their hillside vineyards - and charming dog Riley. I may have pinched myself a time or two to make sure this was in fact my lucky, lucky life.

As if that wasn't enough, the winemaker then took us on an ATV tour of the grounds, giving us yet another education for the day on wine production - and Pretty views.

The wines here were too bold for my taste - if you can brace yourself for some pretentious wine-speak, I prefer a smoother merlot or pinot to their bigger, bolder cabs and zinfandels - though the "big red" drinkers in our group adored them. Between the customer service and the views I recommend this place. Again, call ahead to book your tasting and tour ($20 per person, with fee waived if you buy); at the smaller places like this without a dedicated "tasting" room per se, that seemed to be the usual practice.

In what proved to be a bit of foreshadowing, that potent cocktail of sunshine, scenery and wine resulted in our (and by "our" I mean "the AH") buying too much wine. Which continued at our next stop:

Arista Winery, home to my favorite wine of the day and at least one of my future weddings (Kidding, AH! Unless you buy any more wine anytime soon! Exclamation point!). This place combined the best of the pinot I love and scenery, with a friendly, non-foo-foo tasting room staff to boot:

For the mere price of $10, you too can do a tasting here and sample (read: buy - ahem, AH) entirely too much of the pinot:

Enter mid-afternoon hangover - can you tell how badly we need one more nap and one less pinot by then?

Skipping the next, mediocre place we visited and heading directly to . . .

Eat

The food, the FOOD! For the love of Nordstrom, did we ever have some excellent food that day, thanks to that hotbed of good food and the yuppies who worship it, Healdsburg.

That incredible boxed lunch I mentioned before came from Oakville Grocery, which is only a so-called grocery store in the same sense that Halle Berry is a normal human being - it's much Prettier than whatever you've experienced back home. Our tasting troop leader helpfully called in our order ahead of time & the vineyard picked it up for us, voila.

And then came BarnDiva for dinner, a restaurant dedicated to the "slow food" concept and provider of one of my finest meals in recent memory. You know when you can not only recall what you ordered at a meal, but your mouth starts to water at the very memory? That. Yes:

This crab cake with the California avocados on top was just . . . was just . . . and the lobster risotto that followed, with just the right, elusive sticky factor to the rice was . . . beyond. Between that and the delightful cougar scene at the trendy bar, I was in my happy place.

Shop

Quite tragically, we arrived in Healdsburg just after most of the wee, darling boutiques on the main square closed, but this prepster place looked like it had a TDF selection of Operation MILF-y clothes I could have happily bankrupted myself over.

After a long drive back to Napa, we were ready to collapse in preparation for Day 3, braving the Silverado Trail - and the entertaining eccentrics who work there. More tomorrow . . .

The Smug Marrieds Jet-Set: Napa, Day 1

2012-01-17T13:56:00.000-06:00

The first in a three-part travel series - yes, I'm dragging it out over three days, and not only because uploading the photos is even more predictably tedious and drawn-out than the Republican primary.

Back to our usual variety here this Friday. Until then, you get travel photos of a total stranger - and who doesn't enjoy that?!? In the words of dear old Jane Austen*, "You're S.O.L."

*I might be paraphrasing here.

***
Oh, and as usual, none of the hotels / restaurants / wineries / etc. mentioned are paid or solicited placements; sadly, we paid for them all ourselves.

***

Of the ~~many~~ things which I'm a snob about, wine isn't one of them. Though I can appreciate the difference between the boxed and the beaucoup bucks, $100+ varieties, I otherwise classify my wines based on two categories - "I like this" and "I don't like this". When people get all adjective-y about it - you know, how this syrah is very "berry forward, with just a soupcon of Justin Bie*ber" blah blah blah - my need to roll my eyes overcomes my desire to drink.

So when the opportunity arose to piggyback onto the Anonymous Husband's Napa work trip, I had a split-second of hesitation before eagerly accepting. I'm here to tell you that no fear of wine snobbery should hold you back from this feast for the eyes and palate. Our trip was fairly free of pretentiousness - if you ignore the fact that I was involved - and simply full of good food and wine.

Sleep

I arrived on an afternoon when the AH was still at work, leaving me to check into our hotel, the Westin Verasa Napa, and entertain myself for a few hours. I'll get into the hotel review later, but what you need to see first is an image that any parents reading will identify as nearly pornographic in nature.

Not to worry, darlings, this image is entirely safe for work:

I had an afternoon to myself, no toddlers to supervise, and a fluffy, insanely comfortable, crisp-white-sheeted bed before me . . . as any sane person would, I chucked my luggage aside and dove into that bed with abandon to take one of the better naps of my life. I napped ("Napa'd"? I'm sorry, I had to . . .) the hell out of that thing. I nearly left a $20 on the nightstand in sheer gratitude.

I reluctantly arose around the same time the AH's conference concluded; he met me at the hotel so we could commence checking out the place (code for "go to happy hour"). What the Westin lacks in unique charm it makes up for in creature comforts - the service was consistently excellent, and the rooms minimally chic (if corporate), clean, and well-appointed. It isn't the place to stay if you want that local charm and more one-on-one feel of a bed and breakfast - I'll have one of those to recommend tomorrow, by the way - but hearty golf claps to it otherwise.

Eat

We left the hotel to dine at a local legend, Thomas Keller's Bouchon:

This was one of those rare dining experiences that lives up to the hype - as promised, Bouchon is the best of the French bistro experience. We'd been to the Las Vegas location, and the Napa (Yountville, technically) experience is much the same - the dining room is boisterously loud, and the tables stacked atop one another, but the food was note-perfect and the service attentive. If I had to pick a last meal, Bouchon's baguettes and mussels with truffled french fries would make the list. Unsurprisingly, the wine list was terrific, but more on the grape goods tomorrow.

Speaking of, here's a teaser for tomorrow:

Notice anything amiss here? This is what happens when you go wine tasting in the a.m. after a light breakfast.

More on Russian River Valley wine tasting - and the perils of doing the same on an empty stomach - tomorrow . . .