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How to Sext: 16 Flirty Tips to Learn to Text Sexy, Dirty & Naughty!

Team LovePanky — Tue, 26 Oct 2021 08:13:00 GMT

If you want to surprise your partner and add some sizzle, you need to learn how to sext. It might seem awkward at first, but just give it a go!

It’s no secret that foreplay is by far the most important aspect when it comes to sex. Without it, one party usually goes home unsatisfied. It’s seriously the first step toward having sex of any kind. So why not go with the best method of foreplay out there: sexting. It’s easy, and once you know how to sext the right way, it’s almost impossible to go wrong!

What is sexting really?

We’re sure you’ve all heard of sexting already, but just in case you haven’t, sexting is the act of sending sexually explicit photographs or messages via a text message. So in short, you are sex texting.

Now, the extent to which you sext is completely up to you. You can send only messages, throw in some implied nudes, or go all in and send your crush the raunchiest nudies you could possibly take. It’s really up to you!

[Read: 30 hot, sexting examples to start a naughty text marathon]

Why is sexting a good idea?

You might be wondering why you need to learn how to sext in the first place. After all, surely you can just speak to your partner face to face. Dirty talk is great, right? Well, yes it is, but sometimes you need to think a little outside of the box if you want to really spice things up.

Sexting is a great idea because it helps you to set the scene and the mood before you even see your partner. You can start sexting earlier in the day and when you finally meet up after work, the fireworks will be unbelievable!

It can also be used as a way to bring you two closer together if your sex life has gone off the boil a little lately.

As long as you sext safely *more on that shortly*, there’s no reason why you can’t make it a regular and very enjoyable part of your relationship.

Are you two ready to sext each other?

Now, should you sext people you don’t know that well? Erm, well, probably not, but as long as they’re amenable to it then there’s really nothing wrong. [Read: Sexting ideas – 14 sexy tips to effortlessly sext like a real pro]

It’s far better to stick to sexting your actual partner because then you know that you’re going to improve your relationship and send your sex life through the roof. If you sext people you don’t know that well, i.e. people you’re only hooking up with or texting on a dating app, sure you’ll have great sex, but what about the connection?

Basically, use sexting in a way that feels right to you. But always be sure that you’re not upsetting or insulting someone you don’t know that well by sending explicit messages!

[Read: How to initiate sexting – Make your partner hot and horny for you]

Learn how to sext and heat up your sex life!

No matter your reason for sexting, follow these rules to make sure you’re doing it correctly and making the most out of your hot, steamy sext session.

1. Start slowly

When you’re first starting out, sexting might be a little uncomfortable, especially with a new person. So make sure you’re taking it easy and starting slowly.

Our suggestion would be to have some flirty conversation and gauge their reaction. If they’re shooting you wink faces, it’s safe to say they might be down for some conversation that’s a little more risqué. [Read: Should you sext? Studies show why you need to start TODAY!]

2. Build it up

You don’t just arrive at your partner’s house and go straight to sex, right? No. You greet each other, make out a little, undress, do some foreplay, etc. Sexting is much the same way. You have to build up to the juicy stuff.

Start by greeting them like normal, ask them how their day is going. When they ask you how yours is, mention something like, “It’s not bad… but it would be better if you were here ;)”

Make sure you throw in a wink so they know the direction in which you’d like to take the conversation. [Read: 40 naughty, playful texts to keep things hot and horny]

3. Choose your time carefully

Trying to sext when your significant other is in the middle of closing a deal on a car at work or is busy doing something else and doesn’t have the time to sit and reply to each message they receive isn’t the best way to go.

Pick a time when you know they’ll be able to read your messages and reply right away. In order to make sexting work the right way, there has to be some back and forth conversation.

One-sided sexting just isn’t fun for anyone. If you have to wait an hour or more for a reply, you really won’t be building much tension at all. [Read: How to start sexting your lover when you’ve never done it before]

4. Mention another time you had sex

This is actually more important than most people think. By talking about a sexual encounter the two of you have had before, you’re putting their mind in the exact place you want it to be. And if you’ve ever tried taking sexy pictures of each other in person, you could allude to these shots as well.

Anything subtle like, “I can’t stop thinking about when you did ____ last time ;)” is enough to get their mind in the right place. It’s priming them for your big onslaught of sexual fantasies. [Read: 20 sexy texting examples to start a dirty conversation]

5. Avoid abbreviations

Nothing will kill the mood faster than someone who has absolutely no idea what you mean by cutting a certain word down. It will make your sext too hard to understand and they’ll have to ask what you mean. *hello, boner killer!*

And on that note, make sure you’re spelling stuff correctly, too. Autocorrect is there for a reason, isn’t it?

6. Keep things realistic

Don’t start describing a ridiculous fantasy that is just way too much for your partner to imagine. The best part of sexting is that they can picture the two of you engaging in the acts you’re describing. So, make sure they’re realistic enough for them to believe.

Otherwise, the mood will be killed really quickly because they’ll just roll their eyes and say “yeah right,” and forget about the whole thing. [Read: Top 50 kinky ideas worth trying that would be perfect for sexting]

7. Keep the “we’re not supposed to be doing this” vibe in the air

This works best if the two of you are supposed to be otherwise occupied with work, meetings, at the doctor’s office, etc. This will make things that much more erotic if you both know you should be doing something else.

Also, while there’s absolutely nothing wrong with sexting, keep it as taboo and ‘naughty’ in your mind, and it’ll feel so much hotter!

8. Limit your use of emojis

A skillfully placed emoji here and there can actually add amazing things to your sexting. However, if you use too many of them, they can be distracting and cause your partner to not take the conversation very seriously.

Use emojis sparingly and when you do use them, make sure they create the right impact. [Read: Emoji sexting – 16 fun emojis to make any conversation sound naughty]

9. Stay away from the corny lines

Unless you know your partner is going to find a certain line ridiculously sexy and turn them on immediately, don’t be cheesy. That’s far more likely to cause hilarity than horniness.

10. Guys, no unsolicited dick pics

There is no angle, lighting, or filter that is going to make a penis look great. So do everyone involved a favor and don’t send these pictures unless your partner asks for one. [Read: 20 really clever and witty ways to respond to a guy’s unwanted dick pic]

11. Build up to the good pictures

If you’re going to be sending pictures, have a gallery ready and don’t send that full nude right away. It just ruins the whole suspense of the sexting. You have to set the stage, so to speak.

Send pictures like you’re slowly undressing yourself for them in still frames, just like they would see you gradually get naked if you were undressing in person. A cleavage shot here, a topless shot there, then progress onwards.

12. Keep images tasteful

There is a difference between a tasteful naked picture and a trashy one. To keep things classy, always leave an element of surprise. This means withholding them from seeing the “money shot.”

This will make them eager to get home to you in order to see what you wouldn’t show them. That’s how you sext the right way. [Read: How to take good nudes – 36 tips for the sexiest naked selfies ever]

13. Be confident about your choices

If you send a message or picture, wait for their reply. Even if it’s taking them a while and you’re rethinking your choice, stick with it! Be confident in what you send and they will be able to tell. Confidence = awesome sexting.

14. Have fun with it!

Don’t be too serious about sexting. If you say something that might sound a little silly, just roll with it because, at the end of the day, you’re doing it to have fun and be closer with your partner. Don’t stress it too much! [Read: 23 sexy tips to dirty talk and say the sexiest words while sexting]

15. Never drunk sext

You will make a fool of yourself and it will not be pretty. Not only will you most likely spell almost everything wrong, but you’re also not likely to get your message across clearly, which could lead to misunderstandings and letdowns.

16. Don’t be a tease

While it’s fun to tease someone here and there throughout the day *we mean, that IS what sexting is * make sure you follow through with what you say.

Don’t tell your partner that you’re naked in bed and waiting for them to come home, and when they finally do come home in a hurry, they find you in your frayed PJs eating ice cream and watching your favorite show!

It will annoy your partner when you talk the talk but then don’t walk the walk. But of course, that’s not to say you can’t tease them by making them wait a little longer for their reward. [Read: Happy sex life – What a good sex life should look like in real life]

How to sext safely

Now, we don’t want to add a downer to the conversation here, but you do need to know how to sext safely. Technology isn’t foolproof and if you’re sending sexy pictures to your partner, you need to be sure that they’re actually going to the person you intend them to, and that they’re not going to be accidentally lost.

Here are a few quick tips on how to sext safely and avoid any accidental mishaps.

[Read: Online sexting – 10 biggest sexting rules you should NEVER ignore]

1. Password protect your phone and don’t share it with anyone

2. Keep your photographs in a separate folder on your phone and if possible, password protect them too

3. Make sure that you’re sending the photograph to the right person before you hit ‘send’!

4. It’s best to back up your photographs and store them in an external disk or in a encrypted cloud storage, rather than just keep them on your phone

5. Never share photographs with anyone else – it’s an obvious point but these photographs are private and for you and your partner only.

Want to know how to keep nudes safe? Read this guide on how to send safe nudes that sizzle without getting you burned!

[Read: 20 really naughty ways to tease your man and leave him horny]

You may think you’re the master of sexting, but unless you’re following all these guidelines, you still have much to learn! Now get off this page and start putting these tips on how to sext the right way to the test!

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

30 Fun & Super Cute Questions to Ask Your Boyfriend to Have a Laugh

Nicky Curtis — Tue, 26 Oct 2021 07:47:00 GMT

It’s important to know your boyfriend as well as you possibly can. Handily, you can use these cute questions to ask your boyfriend to do just that!

Getting to know your boyfriend might sound easy, but how well do you really know him? Let’s be honest, men are complex creatures. You might think you know everything there is to know, but when you delve a little deeper, you might be surprised at what you’ll learn with these cute questions to ask your boyfriend.

Weird and wonderful conversations are underrated in my opinion. There is nothing wrong with sitting there and talking about absolute rubbish. Go ahead and ask silly questions. Then, try to second guess their answer and work out just how much you actually know them.

It helps you to bond and allows you to really get to know the person you’re spending so much time with.

[Read: These serious questions to ask your boyfriend will help you develop a deep bond]

Cute questions to ask your boyfriend – Just for fun!

If you’re struggling to come up with a few questions to ask, or you’re just not sure which direction to go, check out these cute questions to ask your boyfriend. Then, figure out what his answers might be.

1. What is your favorite way to pass the time?

Everyone has something they like to do when they’re alone, bored, and just trying to waste a little time. Some people like to read, others like to sing, some people like to just watch Netflix.

Ask him what his favorite way to waste some time is and see if it matches up with yours. Maybe you can start wasting time together! [Read: These red flags in a guy will only end in your broken heart]

2. What toy did you play with most when you were a child?

This is one of the cute questions to ask your boyfriend because it helps him remember his childhood.

He’ll probably sit there with a cute smile on his face, remembering all the fun toys he used to have. Of course, you should also tell him what your favorite toy was too.

3. If you had to choose a favorite animal, what would it be?

You can learn a lot about a person by the type of animal they like best.

For instance, people who like dolphins might be calm and serene. Or people who like bears might be protective and fierce. Ask him his favorite animal and then share yours. [Read: 20 deep questions to turn any guy into an open book]

4. What is the best dream you’ve ever had?

He might not remember it, but he’ll probably make one up anyway. It still tells you a lot about him.

This is one of the cute questions to ask your boyfriend because it tells you where his mind wanders during sleep. It also gets him to use his imagination in the conversation too.

5. What five words would you choose to describe me?

This is definitely high up on the list because it tells you a lot about what he thinks and feels about you. It’s always interesting to let someone else describe you.

While you might not totally agree with the words he comes up with, it’s a fun conversation nonetheless.

6. What did you think about me when you first laid eyes on me?

You’ve asked him the words he would choose to describe you, and now you want to know what he thought of you the first time he saw you. It might surprise you. Go on, dare to tell him what you thought of him too! [Read: 20 signs of attraction in the first conversation]

7. If I were sad, how would you cheer me up?

This is interesting to know, because if you are sad at some point in the future *hopefully not*, you can give him pointers now on the best way to make you smile. It’s always good information to have in hand!

8. How would you describe your perfect date?

When it’s your turn to organize date night, this information will come in handy indeed. [Read: 16 things every girl wishes for on a perfect date]

Of course, you can also tell him about your perfect date and give him some ideas for when it’s his turn to surprise you with a fun night out. While this is one of the cute questions to ask your boyfriend, it’s also pretty useful too!

9. If you could choose any dessert, what would you choose?

Is he going to choose a sophisticated chocolate eclair or a fun-filled ice cream sundae? It might seem like a pointless question to ask, but not all questions have to have a deep, underlying meaning.

Think about your ideal dessert too, maybe you go together better than you think! [Read: Signs of a boring relationship? Here’s how to bring back the fun]

10. What would your dream career be?

If there were no barriers to choice, no need to train for years, or find the money to go back to school, what career would he choose to have?

This tells you a lot about him and the things he finds interesting. It’s one of those cute questions to ask your boyfriend that can help you to really get to know him better too.

11. Who was your hero when you were a child?

Was it a family member? A close friend? Perhaps it was a cartoon hero or maybe Superman!

Ask him who his hero was and watch his face break into a smile as he remembers all the fun from his childhood. [Read: Be your own hero – What it means and how to take control of your life]

12. Which is better – hamburgers or hotdogs?

This is silly, fun, cute, and pointless, but it’s a fun thing to ask. Which do you like best? If he likes hamburgers, maybe you can make them for dinner, and if he’s a hotdog kind of guy, head out to a funfair for date night and enjoy some hotdogs!

13. If you could talk to anyone for 10 minutes, living or otherwise, who would you choose?

He might choose a family member that has passed or he might choose his favorite celebrity. Again, his answer will tell you a lot about what he finds important in life and the types of people he holds dear. [Read: Old love letters and memories – keep or throw them?]

14. What is your favorite thing about me?

Go on, you’ve been dying to ask! It’s one of the cute questions to ask your boyfriend, and it’s also a huge confidence booster for you! You also get to tell him your favorite thing about him too, of course. [Read: Steps to emotionally connect with someone and feel closer]

15. Are you a tea or coffee kind of person?

You might already know this, but if you don’t, it’s a good way to find out what his favorite drink is first thing in the morning!

16. If you were running for President, what would your key policy be?

If he was going to try and run for President, what policies would he base his presidential run around? Would it be banishing animal cruelty, climate change, taxes, or something else entirely? It’s fun to find out what’s important to him. [Read: Dating your opposite – How to know if you can make it work for you]

17. Sweet or savory?

Most people like sweet or savory best. Of course, most of us like both, but if we had to choose, we’d opt for one or the other. So, this is one of the cute questions to ask your boyfriend that allows you to find out his preferences and his tastes. Maybe you can cook for him based on his answer!

18. Do you prefer the sunset or the sunrise?

There’s a point to this question – you get to find out whether he’s an early riser or not! Maybe you already know, but his answer might surprise you. Once you know, you might want to base a date around his answer. [Read: Romantic dinner date ideas – 17 fun dates you will both never forget]

19. If you could go back and study any subject, what would it be?

Most of us look back on our education and wish we’d studied something differently or a little more. For some, they look back and wish they’d gone into a totally different career altogether.

So, what does he wish he’d studied? Maybe he’s fine with his choices, but the chances are he wishes he’d delved a little deeper into a different subject.

20. What would you do on a cold and snowy day?

The point of this question is to find out whether he would prefer a cozy, snuggled-up date with hot chocolate and a roaring fire, or if he’d like to head outside and enjoy the snow!

Maybe he would say skiing, snowboarding, or building a snowman. He might even suggest a snowball fight! [Read: Top 50 amazing first date ideas to wow your date]

21. What is your go-to dish when you’re cooking?

Most of us have a dish that we go to when we’re trying to impress someone. Or, we have a dish that we always cook because we’re so good at it. Once he tells you, suggest he cooks it for you on a date night.

22. What is your guilty pleasure?

We all have one! Ask him what his guilty pleasure is but remember that you need to return the favor and tell him yours too. It’s only fair! [Read: Shhh, don’t tell! Secrets you’re allowed to keep in a relationship]

23. Do you think about me when you’re out with your friends?

Now, he’s probably going to say that yes, of course, he does, but watch his body language for the real answer!

Guys tend to get totally wrapped up when they’re out with their buddies, but if he thinks of you, that means you’re pretty special to him.

24. What song reminds you of me?

Music is a powerful thing and it often transports us back in time or makes us think of specific people. So, what song reminds him of you? You might be surprised by his answer and let’s hope it’s something romantic! [Read: 20 most romantic songs for the one you love]

25. What’s the worst thing you have ever done while drunk?

Prepare for this answer! We’ve all done stupid or crazy things when we’ve had a few too many to drink. Finding out his drunken confession might make you laugh or gasp in shock. Either way, it’s one of the cute questions to ask your boyfriend because it helps you to really dig into his personality.

26. If you could live in a huge mansion, how would you decorate it?

Would he turn it into a bachelor pad or would he go for something a little more classy? Let’s hope that if one day he ends up with a mansion, he asks you to help him decorate it and live there too!

27. If you could change your name, what would you choose?

Maybe he likes his name the way it is, but most people wish they had a funkier name. Ask him this question and you’ll find out what he wishes he was called, and you can tell him your much-wished-for name too. [Read: 45 funny questions to get to know someone better instantly]

28. What food do you want to try that you’ve never had before?

Lobster, frog’s legs, snails, the list goes on. What does he want to try? Let’s hope it’s nothing gross because maybe he’ll suggest you both try it on a future date night!

29. Do you hear the words or the music?

There are two types of people – those who listen to the words and those who listen to the beat. Which category does he fall into? If he listens to words, he’s pretty deep. If he listens to music, maybe that means he’s a budding musician himself? [Read: The ten best songs to make out to]

30. What is number one on your bucket list?

Does he want to go skydiving? Maybe he wants to travel the world. How about learning how to do a particular skill? By understanding the number one choice on his bucket list, you learn more about what he aspires to and dreams about. [Read: Couple’s bucket list – 20 things every couple needs to do]

Go on, get asking these cute questions to ask your boyfriend!

These cute questions to ask your boyfriend are a mixture of fun-filled and pointless, to deep and searching. This mix will allow you to get to know your guy a little better, but will also make the conversations you have fun and avoid heavy discussions that kill the mood and make you feel less than lighthearted.

Remember to only ever ask questions that you’re comfortable answering too! If you ask him what his favorite thing about you is, the most natural thing in the world is for him to ask you what your favorite thing is about him!

So, choose your questions carefully, and be sure to have your own answers ready to go.

[Read: What does it mean to be vulnerable? 13 ways you can open up to each other]

Thinking of some cute questions to ask your boyfriend means you get to know him on a slightly deeper level. Go on, try them!

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

How to Broaden Your Horizons & Get Out of Your Comfort Zone For Good

Team LovePanky — Tue, 26 Oct 2021 07:33:00 GMT

Are you feeling a little less than satisfied with your lot? Do you often find yourself feeling bored? Perhaps it’s time to broaden your horizons!

From time to time, it’s completely normal to feel like you’re stuck in a rut. Everything feels a little samey, and nothing excites you anymore. You can either stay in this funk and enjoy a pretty miserable existence, or you can do something about it. Why not broaden your horizons?

When life stays stagnant, nothing changes unless you push it. You’ll never feel excitement, you’ll rarely feel joy, and instead, you’ll just be stuck with the endless feeling of, well, being stuck.

Not, we’re not trying to paint a miserable picture here, we’re simply being honest. If you don’t try to get yourself out of the metaphorical hole you’ve found yourself in, you can’t expect your life to change very much.

[Read: OMG I’m so bored with life – 20 ways to bring the spark back]

What does it mean to broaden your horizons?

If you want to be happy, then sometimes, you have to broaden your horizons by doing things that you wouldn’t typically do. That means opening your mind.

Stop thinking that there is such a thing as black and white with no grey in between.

In this world, there are all different shades of color and you can explore every aspect of them. Who knows, you might find something you really enjoy in there, or you might meet a new person who turns your life on its head for all the right reasons.

There is so much life has to offer, and if you don’t broaden your horizons, you’ll miss out on everything else you don’t know yet.

Many people think that when you try to broaden your horizons, you’re making major, sweeping changes. That’s not necessarily the case. You don’t have to quit your job and go backpacking around the world to try new things.

You can join an evening class, join the gym, and simply get out of the regular routine you’ve found yourself in. When you break out of a routine, you usher new opportunities into your life. [Read: How to overcome FOMO – How to read the signs and overcome the stress it causes]

Why you should broaden your horizons

Broadening your horizons is a metaphor. You are pushing back at the furthest thing you see. You want to see more. There should be no limit on what you expose yourself to. Get all the experiences you can.

Why? Well, boredom, for one. If you do the same thing day after day, you aren’t learning anything new or challenging yourself. To grow as a person, strengthen your relationships, and really enjoy your life, you need to take risks.

Maybe that risk is taking skydiving lessons or it is going away for the weekend. This will be different for everyone, but never stepping outside your routine will lock you into a rut of complacency.

You won’t question anything. You will accept how things are and just be okay. But, don’t you want to be better than okay? You want to be great. Broaden your horizons and see your full potential. [Read: 12 ways to step out of your comfort zone and become more outgoing overnight]

How to broaden your horizons

It is as simple as thinking about how you normally do things and doing the opposite. Or, just saying “yes” to new things rather than automatically assuming that it’s not worth trying them.

There are times in our lives when we can become stuck or feel like we have hit a brick wall. The truth is that the only thing that can ever limit someone is themselves. There are always options; you just have to open your eyes to see them.

Here are some ways to broaden your horizons. [Read: 15 common reasons why you’re getting bored with your relationship]

1. Stop self-limiting

Many times we keep ourselves stuck by believing in false barriers. Whether you believe something from experience or because someone told you the “truth,” self-limiting notions can keep you from living life to the fullest and trying things that you normally wouldn’t.

Self-limiting beliefs are those things that we don’t ever challenge; we just accept them as truth, whether they are or aren’t. Most of the time they’re simply someone else’s belief and they’re not rooted in actual fact. [Read: How to master positive self-talk and banish negativity]

For example, if you believe that you can’t possibly climb a mountain, then guess what? You probably will never climb a mountain. You have limited what you can do with the belief that you can’t.

If you want to broaden your horizons, you have to stop limiting yourself to those things that you have ingrained in your head from society or yourself and believe that you can. It really is that easy. [Read: How to take the next step to success]

2. Push yourself

If you want to broaden your horizons, it isn’t always easy. We do things in a certain way because they are predictable, we know the outcome, so they aren’t scary, and they are easier than taking the road less traveled.

If you want to broaden your horizons, you have to put in the extra effort, push yourself to work harder, and be willing to put the time in and go the extra mile.

Try not to focus on the possibility of failure, but the likelihood of success. The rewards are so much better than just a pat on the back for the same job well done.

Even if you don’t actually achieve what you were aiming towards, you’ll still have new experiences and probably learn new things along the way. It’s really about the journey as much as reaching the destination. [Read: 12 steps to change your life and find your happiness]

3. Go outside of your comfort zone

The reason we don’t do things in life is that they aren’t “comfortable.” That means they make you feel uneasy, or they aren’t within your control. If you want to broaden your horizons, you will have to be okay with not feeling safe, knowing how the ending goes, and instead just throwing caution to the wind. Of course, that doesn’t mean being reckless – you still need to use your common sense!

Those are all things that are adverse to what human beings are programmed for. Because we were made to survive, going outside of what we find comfortable makes us, well, uncomfortable. [Read: How to be more outgoing – 12 ways to step out of the comfort zone]

Again, that doesn’t mean putting yourself in harm’s way or not being safe, but it does mean putting yourself into positions that feel weird or awkward and persevering. It doesn’t mean doing what others want you to do, but what you want to do.

You would be surprised by how quickly a human being can adapt to make uncomfortable things feel comfortable. That is what broadening your horizons is all about. [Read: How to be successful – Everything you ever need to know]

4. Shut your mouth and listen

Most of the time, we are so busy telling everyone how things are that we never stop to listen. If you want to broaden your horizons, it is okay to challenge what someone is saying, but it won’t work if you aren’t willing to listen and challenge your own beliefs.

If you are too busy always trying to convince other people that you are right, you never stop to consider the fact that you might not be.

To broaden your horizons, sometimes you just have to be quiet and let someone else do the talking. You can ask questions later, but shouting them down or refusing to hear their side keeps you stuck. [Read: 25 memorable life lessons to perfect your life]

5. Ask yourself why?

Stop just accepting things and ask yourself why you believe certain things or follow certain people.

If you believe in a particular cause or simply an idea, to broaden your horizons, you might have to step back and ask yourself why you believe what you do, and if it is a fact or just something that you have accepted as such without having any merit behind it. [Read: 15 thought-provoking questions to leave you curious and wondering]

The moment you stop asking yourself why and challenging your belief system is the moment that you stop growing as a human being.

Having blind faith is not a strength. It is naive. To constantly broaden your horizons, you have to stop yourself when you have something you take as fact and question whether it is or not. That doesn’t mean not believing the things you want to, it means challenging the things that are ingrained without a real reason. [Read: 19 life quotes to motivate you to live a better life]

6. Do the opposite

If you want to broaden your horizons, it might be as simple as doing the exact opposite of what you would normally do or think. When you see an exchange between two people, take the devil’s advocate position and go with it.

If you would normally go right, go left. You would be surprised at all the life experiences you can have and how much you are missing if you just do the opposite of what comes naturally.

For just once, be the “anti-you,” and you will open yourself up to another whole world.

If you normally say “no” to new opportunities or an invite to go out someplace new, start saying “yes” instead. You never know, you might actually enjoy yourself! [Read: How to become more spontaneous in life and explore everything it can offer you]

7. Try walking in someone else’s shoes

If you want to broaden your horizons, it takes the ability to look around, like really look around, and see what you have and what others don’t. Tap into your empathy and really explore it.

Often, we are so concerned with convincing people that we earn what we have or deserve it, that we don’t stop to see that others are just as deserving. This limits the life we live and the way that we conduct ourselves.

If you want to broaden your horizons, it is all about living a day in someone else’s shoes, which is more difficult than you think. Take your blinders off, go for a ride on the other side of town, or volunteer at a hospital. You would be surprised at how privileged you actually are when you see those who aren’t. [Read: How to develop empathy and master the art of growing a real heart]

Having a closed mind doesn’t allow you to experience all the miracles and wonderful things around you. Only seeing things in black and white takes all the color out of the world. If you want to broaden your horizons, it will take some stepping out of your comfort zone, listening, and empathy on your part. [Read: 7 reasons why empathy is so important]

8. Take a deep breath

Sometimes broadening your horizons just takes a simple breath. Stop for a moment and don’t think. Overthinking is what holds us back. Just breathe out all the hesitancies and doubts. Inhale confidence and possibilities.

We’re all so quick to think about the past and jump to the future, making endless plans that we don’t even know how to put into action.

By doing that, you’re not living in the present. You’re missing all the wonderful things around you right now because you’re so distracted by everything else going on. Slow down and take a breath, you’ll be amazed at how much you notice. [Read: How to live in the moment – 20 positive ways to live in the now]

9. Ask yourself if you’re happy

Broadening your horizons is an important part of growing throughout life. But it doesn’t have to be glamorous or adventurous. If you are happy trying a new restaurant, that is great. If you love flying to an unknown location last minute, that’s awesome.

Ask yourself what would make you happy. If you are happy in your current life. Great. But, could you be happier? Are you blissfully unaware of how unhappy you are? If so, change things. [Read: Why am I so unhappy? 8 small changes that’ll change your life forever]

10. Say yes

Again, this one is important. Say “yes” more often. It is easy to say “no.” It is easy to stay home and watch Netflix. Go out with friends. You never know who you might meet. Your future boss? Your soul mate? Or you could just pass by someone that makes you smile.

Stop saying “no,” and broaden your horizons by saying “yes.” It’s a simple thing that works wonders!

[Read: How to love yourself – 15 ways to discover self-love and happiness]

The rewards of broadening your horizons are like taking a breath of fresh air. It allows you to see all the things you have and be grateful for them. Stop limiting your mind and set it free to imagine the unimaginable and live life to its fullest.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

6 Unromantic (But Real) Reasons Being Married Is The Best Thing Ever

Lindsay Detwiler — Tue, 26 Oct 2021 00:00:03 GMT

Tax write-offs? Until death do us part? A promise of forever and a constant support system?

Whether you’re a cynic or a romanticist, the truth is there are many benefits and sacrifices involved when it comes to marriage. So many have tried to generalize the institution and give advice on how to make it work.

I’m no expert. However, in the six years, I’ve been married, I’ve learned this: If you want to quickly divide a room, simply bring up the term “marriage.” You’ll be simultaneously bombarded with facts about why it’s the greatest social convention ever created and why it’s the worst .

Disagreements about identity, finances, divorce, biology, intimacy, and all sorts of other issues will quickly arise, and you’ll realize the one truth everyone can agree on: The success or failure of marriage truly depends on the parties involved.

In recent months, I’ve seen quite a bit of negativity about marriage. I’ve read articles about how my marriage may be ruining my identity, my perspective, my sex life, and every other aspect you can think of.

I admit that marriage is hellishly hard. There are true sacrifices made every single day in order to meld two different lives together into a functioning, cohesive vision. It’s not easy being one of two.

Still, over the years, I’ve also uncovered so many benefits. Sure, there’s the romantic notion of being with your best friend every single day. There are the quote pillows and sweet sentiments about soulmates, about lovemaking one better, and about fulfillment.

As a romance writer and as a woman married to the person she met at the age of 12—yes, I perhaps fall on the hopeless romantic side—I must admit that I do believe the benefits of marriage far outweigh the negatives.

However, I don’t think it’s always about the lofty benefits, financial aspects, or super abstract sentiments. As with many things in life, sometimes finding the true benefits and happiness of marriage is about appreciating the small stuff.

I say screw the “tax benefits” and push the lofty, classical literature-esque ideas aside. Let’s talk about the real, 2017 benefits of saying “I do.”

1. Noises in the middle of the night don’t send me down a twisting spiral of doom.

“Did you hear that?” I whisper, startled from my deep sleep tucked under my comforter.

“Probably just the cat,” my husband responds as he rolls onto his side.

Makes sense. Makes total sense. I drift back to sleep.

Sometimes marriage is just about having someone to reassure you and to quiet your paranoid tendencies... or having someone to tiptoe down the stairs to check for a potential murderer and/or your fluffy cat who is knocking over all of your makeup downstairs.

2. I never have to claim the whole bag of [insert horrible junk food item here].

The bag of M&Ms I demolished? Clearly, it wasn’t me. He probably ate at least half of the bag, I reassure myself as I take another few handfuls.

Having a second person living with you helps detract from the food guilt complex. Having a second person who promised to love you no matter what means sometimes you can get away with inaccurate accusations... at least when it comes to delicious chocolates.

3. I only have to let the dog out 50 percent of the time.

Rock, paper, scissors clearly is a valid determination of who has to abandon “Stranger Things” to let out our mastiff. Married life is give-and-take. It’s about fairness and justice.

It’s about who has to brave the elements one more time before bed to let the dog out.

4. I don’t feel bad for my greasy ponytail.

If he can promise to love me in sickness and health, I think he can love me through a second (or third, let’s be real) day of not washing my hair. I don’t feel the need to impress every single day—so the snooze button is mine, and the ponytail holder is ready to go.

5. I have a permeate for social events.

No awkward chatter with extended relatives I don’t know or someone’s sniffling aunt at the next wedding. I have a permeate to keep me company, to share inside jokes with, and to remind me when to slow down on the alcoholic beverages so I don’t make a fool of myself.

6. I have someone to share my life with, good and bad.

And, at the end of the day, it’s not really about razors, dog potty responsibilities, dating, and ponytails. It’s about the fact that, despite the sacrifices and tough times, I have someone I truly want to share my life with. I have a man standing beside me to walk through this crazy, tumultuous journey.

I have a man who can make me smile with just a look, who doesn’t hesitate to give me his shoulder when I feel like life is falling apart.

To commit your life to someone is always difficult. It will always come with both challenges and triumphs.

It is by appreciating the small moments, though, that we can see the bigger picture.

Marriage can truly be a beautiful, fulfilling thing if we just take the time to appreciate what it’s really all about.

For some of us, the beauty comes in the form of middle-of-the-night reassurance and chocolate blaming. For some of us, it might be something completely different that we get out of the institution.

Still, I think the challenge is once one commits to this thing called marriage, he or she must strive to find the beauty, the value, and the benefits in the everyday moments.

More for You on YourTango:

Lindsay Detwiler is a contemporary romance author and high school English teacher. Learn more about her eight novels by visiting her website.

This article was originally published at Huffington Post. Reprinted with permission from the author.

How To Forgive A Cheater (& Whether Or Not You Should)

C. Mellie Smith — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 23:45:04 GMT

From the outside looking in, the actions you need to take after your partner has cheated on you seem very straightforward.

Most people would simply tell you to end the relationship and leave it at that. "Once a cheater, always a cheater," they’d say.

But as anyone who’s experienced infidelity already knows, this is not always the case. Because if you do decide to stay with and learn how to forgive a cheater, your relationship can, in fact, go back to normal.

No matter what anyone says, infidelity is not a simple phenomenon. It’s actually extraordinarily complex, with a multitude of causes, long-lasting and hurtful effects, and future possibilities in play.

For some people, it’s important that they only discuss these difficult issues with people who understand the complexities involved in infidelity and are willing to discuss them with you.

What we’re trying to say is that if you’ve been cheated on, you’re entitled to whatever feelings and reactions you’re currently having. This includes considering the possibility of reconciliation.

Many marriages rebound in a very healthy way after episodes of infidelity, and although there’s no way to predict the future, yours might just become one of these success stories.

One thing we know for certain is that you’re confused and in pain as cheating shatters people's belief intrust and loyalty in a relationship.

If you’re going to recover from the pain of infidelity, you’ll need a path and something to light the way.

Should you ever forgive someone for cheating?

The answer to that question depends on if you're not ready to let them go, and if your partner was and is truly remorseful for their actions. However, sometimes you can't ever truly forgive them because your partner wasn't loyal to you and you don't want to stand for that.

But a relationship can go back to normal after cheating. A great relationship might be able to recover from a partner cheating; however, you and your partner will need to work on your relationship for a while as your partner needs to understand how much the relationship is worth.

When you trust your partner and think your relationship is worth fighting for, you should try and work on forgiving your partner as forgiveness is a strength in every relationship.

How To Forgive A Cheater

1. Address the situation.

Address your partner about what he did. Lay out all the facts that you know and let him fill you in.

It's important when you do this to stay calm and not lose your temper as you want to be the one in control. Choose a good location to do this as well so there will be no distractions or people to get in the way of avoiding the conversation.

2. Seek therapy.

If you're willing to stay in the relationship, it's best that you seek therapy and most likely a relationship or couples therapist to help the two of you navigate the future of your relationship.

3. Rebuild trust, one step at a time.

In order to rebuild trust with your partner, the two of you need to communicate your feelings, especially the party who was affected by the cheating. The person who was hurt needs time to grieve the trust that was broken.

The two of you need to remind yourselves to have empathy for one another and know that there needs to be a reason found between the two of you to rebuild the trust and a new future with acceptance and unconditional love.

That’s why we’ve compiled this list to give you some idea of when it is safe to forgive your former wayward spouse.

While making this list, we operated under 3 basic assumptions.

First, although your partner has made a terrible series of mistakes, it is still possible for him or her to make the internal and external changes necessary for your marriage’s recovery.

Second, these changes are extremely difficult for a person to make, sometimes the solution is to pay to see a relationship therapist for a long time, months, or maybe even years.

Third, because these changes are so difficult to make, the efforts your partner puts forth to make them will be readily apparent if you’re paying attention.

With all that being said, here is our list of signs that it's time to start learning how to forgive a cheater. We hope it gives you the guidance you deserve during this incredibly difficult time.

14 Signs It's Safe To Forgive A Cheater

1. Your partner is serious about reconciliation.

Forgiveness and moving forward will only work if the cheater seems to understand the gravity of this situation and the hard work the reconciliation is going to require.

2. Your partner works on themselves.

Getting over infidelity takes constructive actions toward addressing the internal issues that led him to cheat on you. This is a big deal in fixing a relationship because you need proof that your partner cares and is showing up for you.

3. Your partner is not defensive.

They display sincere regret and remorse for what they have done. They assume full responsibility for their actions.

4. They do not attempt to blame you for their behavior.

They accept that they’ve made a grave error and have a sincere desire to repair the damage.

5. They’re attentive and communicate well without trying to rush the healing process.

They’re neither harping on the issue nor trying to sweep it under the carpet and act like it’s not there.

6. Both you and your partner have a decent idea of why the infidelity occurred.

You’ve also talked about how to prevent it from happening again in the future, usually by learning to better communicate your mutual needs.

This will also help with rebuilding trust because the two of you can learn how to better communicate.

7. You feel forgiving.

Your partner’s attitude and actions have helped you to develop compassion for them and their misdeeds.

8. Communication is growing in your relationship.

Your partner’s devotion and behavior have allowed you to begin to re-establish the connection that had perhaps started to fade prior to the infidelity.

9. As a couple, you’ve made enough progress to believe in your vows once again.

They have given you ample reason to commit to the marriage for better or worse. In other words, you still feel that they’re worth it.

10. They’re willing to practice as much transparency as you need to feel comfortable.

They’re very open about who they’re contacting and spending time with, whether it’s in person, on the internet, or on the phone.

11. You’ve both taken the time and the actions necessary to process this terrible experience.

This means you’ve been able to talk openly about your feelings with your friends, family, or therapist.

12. You feel like you've turned over a new leaf in your relationship.

Their actions and renewed dedication have helped you to see your partner more clearly and feel grateful for your marriage.

13. You’ve begun to feel at least some modicum of relief.

You’ve returned to the routine of your daily life and can again experience joy without it being ruined by resentment or recurring images.

14. You can realistically envision a happy and brighter future with your spouse.

For a variety of reasons, the vision you have for the future of your marriage is of crucial importance to recovery from infidelity.

As you can see, you don't have to deal with the aftermath of infidelity in ignorance and darkness. By staying reasonably vigilant, you can avoid playing a very painful guessing game and receive the guidance you need to support or disavow your decision to reconcile with your cheating partner.

Not knowing what is in your partner’s heart is one of the worst parts of coping with infidelity. It is our deepest hope that you spot many, if not all, of these signs in their future behavior.

The decision to reconcile or sever the relationship is yours and yours only.

Recovery from infidelity is possible, sometimes to the extent that the marriage actually improves after a certain period and the couple ends up closer than they were before the infidelity began.

More for You on YourTango:

C. Mellie Smith is a former betrayed spouse who was able to pick up the pieces and move on with her life after several affairs rocked her marriage. Get the help and resources you need to get over the pain and heartbreak of the betrayal.

How To Make A Woman Love You (And Keep Her Forever)

Sheila Hageman — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 20:00:04 GMT

In the age-old quest for a potion to make her love you forever, there's actually a much simpler and more direct route to ensure your beloved's undying love.

To make a girl fall deeply in love with you, you have to be willing to be vulnerable, act as her equal, let her in emotionally and physically, learn her love languages, and never stop trying to be romantic.

True, getting a girl to fall in love with you may take a little effort on your part, but it's got to be easier than slaying dragons or selling your soul to the devil as you might be required to if you were hoping to be granted an actual magic potion. Just saying.

And heck, if you've read this far, then congratulations, you've already started on number one of these tips to keep the girl you love.

Here's how to make her love you forever.

1. Work on yourself.

Ugh, I know. I'm asking for an effort on your part. I didn't ever say this was going to be all fun and games. But we're talking about undying love here — certainly, that deserves a little exertion, don't you think?

There's no way to skip this first step. You've got to be willing to look at yourself and ask, what about me isn't so lovable? And you have to be willing to listen to the answers you hear and act upon them in your real-life quest to improve yourself.

The big bonus of this important step is that your significant other will see you doing this work, which might include therapy, reading self-help books, or taking time out for self-reflection, and she will be super-impressed.

Not all men are willing to do this and it demonstrates that you care about being the best you that you can be.

2. Listen to her (and I mean really, really listen).

And that doesn't mean just listen with your ears, but (sorry to get sappy here) listen with your heart and full attention.

Now, I'm not saying that you don't already listen to your sweetheart, but just imagine her delight when she notices you putting down your phone and giving her your full attention instead of that half-hearted I'm-listening-but-multitasking-too response.

Of course, you should express yourself to her also (just no mansplaining, please!). The more you give her your full attention, the deeper your conversations will become and the more entangled your lives will stay.

3. Learn how she prefers to be loved.

What "equals" love in her mind may not be what gets your heart pounding. Actually, it's highly likely that you feel loved in different ways than she does. So, you may be walking along thinking you saying "I love you" twenty times a day should do the trick, but just like we all have different learning styles, we also have different loving styles.

Ask her what makes her feel loved. Perhaps she's the type who needs physical touch to know you care. If you simply ask her what makes her feel the most love, she will feel like your honored queen. (And this fits right in with #2 and the whole listening thing.)

Once you find out the ways that make her feel loved, do them.

4. Give her gifts.

OK, I get it; I just told you to ask her what she likes and now I'm telling you what she likes. How can I know, right?

Well, I'm going out on a thinnish limb here and place my money on that she likes gifts, because who doesn't like a little something-something for no reason?

I honestly don't know anyone who doesn't like to be surprised with a little unexpected present for absolutely no reason other than it's another day that you love her. These love tokens can be small, inexpensive and trivial.

The big "wow, this guy is amazing!" thing of it is, it shows you are thinking of her. Always. Even when she's out of sight, you show that she's not out of mind.

Side note: Please, please don't ever ask her if she wants to trade presents for a holiday you celebrate, just assume she does ... unless she says otherwise. And even then, if she says she doesn't want to exchange gifts, you should get her a gift.

5. Be honest with her.

This is the ultimate. I know, it's hard sometimes to know whether you should really tell her you don't love that dress on her or aren't digging the new hairstyle. But you can be a truth-teller without being a jerk. It's all in the telling.

Pause before you say something that you think might be a sensitive point and say it in a way that at first makes her feel good, then tell the thing that might be hard to hear.

Trust me: practice on the small stuff and then when there's a bigger, harder truth, you'll have her respect and trust.

6. Respect her and treat her as your equal in every way.

Always remember, a good relationship works because there are two equal partners. This means you need to show interest in her career and support her in her choices.

If she gets her dream career offer in another city, you need to consider its effects on the whole family, not just you. You need to remember that she would do the same for you.

And when it comes to housework and parenting, I'm just assuming you're a modern dude and totally believe that these types of responsibilities need to be divided in an equal manner. If you're both working full-time outside of the house, then you need to be ready to do half the "work" that goes into maintaining a happy home and family.

7. When you talk about your family, make sure you include her as a part of it.

This is a small thing, but shouldn't be overlooked. If this woman is going to be with you for the rest of your time on Earth, then your brother really is her brother, too, don't you think? When you find a girl you love, she naturally becomes part of the clan.

Assume she will want to go with you on your Great Uncle John's annual family fishing trip. Invite her. Trust me, she'll feel honored you included her, and if she needs to, she'll find a nice way to explain sleeping in a tent with no toilet just isn't her thing.

8. Find creative ways to tell her that you love her.

Yes, even after you've tried and succeeded at showering her with love in all the ways she has pointed to, there's still room for more. Because you never know, you may just discover something that no one has ever done for her before. So how could she have even known how good it would make her feel?

Romance isn't just for the early days of relationships. You have to make her feel special for as long as you are together. So think outside the box.

Again, these don't have to be huge expressions or experiences that cost a lot. It really is the thought that counts.

9. Allow yourself to be vulnerable.

Lots of men struggle with this, and that is due to the failures of our culture.

Therapy can help you on your path to vulnerability, but for starters, these are some things you have to be willing to do in your relationship: Allow yourself to make mistakes and admit to them. Allow yourself to be real and true and not hide any of yourself from her.

Don't be afraid to cry. And don't be afraid to let her cry, too. Vulnerability allows for deep connection and bonding in a relationship. If you can't be yourselves in your most raw forms, how are you supposed to feel safe building a whole life together?

Don't hold back. If there's anyone that should see all sides of you, it's the love of your life. Vulnerability will let your girlfriend love you even more.

10. Don't ever take her for granted.

This is the final rule that must be adhered to, but that you won't even have to ever worry about ever again if you do all these other steps.

These awesome human being things will demonstrate to her every day that you could never take her for granted because she is your love. Don't give her any reason to doubt you because nothing compares to the pain of losing your beloved.

What it all comes down to is you caring about her and your relationship.

If you just try adding one of these techniques to your daily repertoire, many of the others will likely just fall into place on their own.

When you start making an effort to make it impossible for her to not love you forever, you'll find her doing those things in return in order to make you love her forever, too.

Getting the girl you love to love you forever will come naturally over time. Someone's got to be the instigator of the love fest, so really, why not you? And why not now?

More for You on YourTango:

Sheila Hageman is an author, teacher and yogi who has appeared on numerous TV shows including Today Show, ABC News, NBC News, and as an expert on Bill Cunningham and Anderson Cooper. She has been featured on Salon, Mamalode, Mom Babble, and The Huffington Post. Follow her on Twitter.

Grief Etiquette 101: Is It Rude To Ask How Someone Died?

Stephanie Lazzara — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 19:30:04 GMT

The sympathy card you meant to mail sits on your desk, unsent, because you just don’t know what to say. You default to a text or email saying, "I’m so sorry. Let me know if you need anything" and then wonder, was that the right thing to do?

You don't know what the protocol is anymore. You don't know if it's rude to send a card or just to text, if it's rude to ask how they died, if it's rude to pry.

There are many more ways of communicating than ever. Yet, this can also cause confusion around how to properly respond in various circumstances and what to say when someone dies.

Is it rude to ask how someone died?

It’s difficult to be in a state of not knowing. Uncertainty around the whys and hows of a death can trigger anxiety.

The desire to ask what happened can also stem from a need to protect ourselves from the same harm, especially if it was a health-related passing or someone relatively young has died.

In finding out details of a death, you may hope that you’re connecting more deeply with the person suffering. It’s natural to be curious about how someone died, but it’s not usually appropriate to ask what happened or how they died.

Grief Etiquette: Always respect others’ privacy first and hold off on asking questions directly related to how the loved one died if the information is not offered first.

Everyone goes through the grieving process differently and some people may not be ready to talk about a loss, even if a significant amount of time has passed.

Trust that your presence, empathy, and willingness to listen can offer much-needed solace. And if the time is right, a grieving individual may offer more information.

When someone asks you why someone has died.

If you’re in the position of being asked why someone has died, you may feel pressured to talk when you’re not ready or to reveal details you just don’t feel comfortable sharing.

Grief Etiquette: Give yourself permission to privacy. You don’t need to talk about the death of a loved one if you don’t feel ready. You can say, "I know you care a lot. I’m just not ready to talk about that right now."

Can you talk about someone who died?

Even when a close friend or family member loses someone, it can feel unclear whether or not to bring up the person who died. You may worry about being insensitive or saying the wrong thing.

Stories and memories about the person who died can be comforting to someone grieving.

Grief Etiquette: Use your intuition. Timing is key. You can start by asking for permission to share your memory or story — "I just had a nice memory about Carol. Is it okay if I share it with you?"

When you find out about a death through social media.

Scrolling through your social media feed, you notice a friend has announced the death of a loved one and hundreds of short comments have popped up underneath.

Is it enough to leave another, "Thinking of you"?

What else should you do?

Grief Etiquette: If posting a comment on social media feels too personal or public or you're afraid it lacks empathy, you don’t need to leave a comment.

Do save longer messages for direct private messages. A phone call (even leaving a voicemail) or sending a sympathy card are always appropriate options.

Here are some funeral etiquette do's and don'ts.

Do be thoughtful about your attire. While gone are the days of black hats and face veils, dressing up is a form of respect for the grieving family.

Do share your condolences in person, even if it's just a hug or a handshake.

Do share memories of the deceased if they seem appropriate.

Don't text, check your email, or scroll through the internet on your phone. It can be difficult to remain fully present, but keep your phone on silent and out of view during a funeral or memorial service. If you must check your phone, excuse yourself politely.

Don't take photos unless asked.

It’s hard to ask for help when you’re grieving.

"Let me know if I can do anything to help" puts the ball back in the court of the grieving person to ask for help.

What to do instead: be specific with a helpful action and a concrete time to offer your help.

"I’d like to stop by with dinner this week. Is Tuesday a good time?"

When you just can’t find the words, and you notice that you're having trouble figuring out what to say to someone who's grieving, then simply offer your presence and openness without trying to problem-solve. This is a form of comfort and caring that often words alone can’t match.

More for You on YourTango:

Stephanie Lazzara is an ICF-certified holistic life and relationship coach. She helps her clients move through grief, loss, and heartbreak. She is also a certified yoga instructor and teaches yoga in Brooklyn, NY.

The Odd Pattern I Discovered After Being In 10 Failed Relationships

Erin Bahadur — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 15:14:08 GMT

There has to be a pattern. This is what I thought to myself as I took a look back at ten of my failed relationships that spanned from high school through post-college.

I entered a drug and alcohol recovery program. I was putting in the work to heal myself and expose behaviors that seemed to repeat themselves throughout the years in and out of my relationships.

Back then, I was what you would call a serial monogamist.

I went from failed relationship to failed relationship with very little time in between.

I invested a lot of time and energy into each relationship, shared hobbies, gave thoughtful gifts, and rarely engaged in any conflict or disagreement.

But the relationships never worked out. All but one or two of those ten relationships involved me being the last one standing. Men cheated on me, became distant, or just moved on.

I became very bitter because I couldn't understand why someone would leave me when I was everything they wanted me to be.

And then I had a revelation.

By being "everything they wanted me to be," I wasn't being myself.

I was convincing myself that I liked the same things that each boyfriend liked. I was giving gifts I thought they wanted when some of them didn't even like gifts at all. I was avoiding conflict like the plague, which meant my own opinions were put on the back burner.

I didn't come to this realization on my own. It took my recovery from an alcohol and heroin addiction to draw attention to the fact that what I was actually trying to do in all of these relationships was recreate the love I so desperately desired as a child.

I was willing to sacrifice my own being in search of that.

My pattern was that I was never truly myself in any of my relationships.

My behavior was manipulative. I wasn't able to see this at first, but by being what I thought someone else wanted me to be, I wasn't allowing that person to know the real me.

The realization I had through all of this was that I had no idea who I was as a person. What were my likes and dislikes? What were my values? My opinions?

Relationships are about two people complementing each other and working together to create a successful partnership. Conflict is normal, healthy, and can even be the catalyst for improving your relationship.

It took me years to learn what I did and did not like in a partner — and I'm still fine-tuning that process as I go along.

My pattern of people-pleasing has been a hard one to break but I'm learning to use my voice in my marriage and it's an empowering feeling.

Through therapy and recovery programs, I've learned that I need to be responsible for my happiness.

It's unfair and damaging to put that responsibility on another human being.

To break my relationship pattern, I need to define what my wants and needs are and be open to sharing them with my partner.

It requires being vulnerable and asking for what I need, even though I may not get it. It requires strength.

I met my husband in 2010 but we didn't start dating until 2011. We were friends before it turned into anything more and that allowed me to get a little more comfortable with myself.

My recovery had helped me get a better handle on my previous patterns, but there were still times when I would default to agreeing with his opinions because I was afraid to rock the boat.

I would agree to things my gut told me otherwise, but it was such an improvement from previous relationships that I didn't think much of it.

Over time, I realized some of my old patterns were coming up again — but this time I quickly nipped them in the bud as soon as I recognized them.

I slowly started to speak up when I disagreed or when my feelings were hurt. I started honoring my feelings instead of convincing myself that they were wrong.

We got married on our two-year anniversary and it has been an enlightening experience of what it really takes to maintain a healthy relationship with another human being.

Our marriage is certainly not perfect but we are both working on staying true to ourselves through it all.

It's not always easy — it's still difficult for me to stand up for myself when I don't feel like I am being treated the way I should — but it's always worth it. Being able to grow independently also allows our relationship to grow.

It is a much more rewarding feeling to understand that we can mature without overlapping and that his presence is an addition to mine, not an integrated part.

Being true to yourself is one of the best forms of self-care you can display. Being authentic means respecting yourself and the more you respect yourself, the more you demand it from others.

It's not easy and it takes strength and courage — but it's something that would have saved me a lot of time and heartbreak.

More for You on YourTango:

Erin Bahadur is a personal trainer who writes about relationships, mental health, and everything in between. Visit her website for more.

What To Text Your Ex After No Contact And Get A Reply

Charice — Tue, 19 Oct 2021 10:53:00 GMT

First of all, congratulations if you’ve survived the No Contact Rule. It doesn’t matter if it’s 30 or 60 days, or longer. You’ve made it out of breakup recovery feeling like a confident person. For some women like me, we may still have the urge to text our ex. Even after a month of the silent treatment, somehow, that’s one of the things on our agenda to tick off.

So what to text your ex after no contact?

Well, it depends. What you want to text your ex depends on your intentions. After the No Contact period, you should not have any hard feelings about your breakup. So if looking for answers, revenge, or an ego boost, my advice is to avoid it.

This is a huge mistake to open up old wounds (even if it’s only been a month) and stir up tensions again with your ex. If you’re only looking for an opportunity to have a conversation with your ex, that makes sense.

Unless you’ve been ignoring each other for months, the chances of bumping into each other are fairly low. If you’re not sure what to text your ex, I suggest having a friendly conversation rather than a heated argument.

Can’t Stop Breaking No Contact?: Get My Private Method Here

Before I share a few proper (and powerful) texts you can send to your ex after no contact, let’s go over a few etiquette rules. Yes, as much as you want to sound sweet or vindictive, the key is to be as casual as possible. The first text is a huge step in reconnecting and will dictate the communication you have with your ex-boyfriend later.

Therefore, the key is not sound like you have any intentions to get back together or revenge. You’re simply engaging in a friendly conversation.

When you’re texting your ex after no contact, don’t text him first. I know that can be hard to do if you’re dying inside from your breakup, but the idea is to remain as casual as possible. So once you’ve decided to message him, wait for him to respond first. In this situation, I highly recommend using a smiley face emoticon or a heart – something that shows you have no hard feelings.

So here are a few text suggestions. These are general ideas where you should tweak them to fit your style and purpose.

“Hi, Hope things are going well for you. I was thinking about you thought maybe we could meet for coffee sometime.”

“Hey, Just wanted to say how I hated how things ended between us. Would like to meet to clear things up a bit. I understand if you’re not up for it.”

“Hey, just wanted to say congrats on your promotion! I know we haven’t talked in a while, but I’m really proud of you. We should grab a beer to celebrate, my treat :)”

“Hey [ex’s name], it’s been a while. Are you still in the city? I was thinking of grabbing some lunch together.” Let me know.

“Hi, I was thinking about you. Would be great to catch up sometime. Let me know when you’re ready to talk.”

“Hey, just found out Maroon 5 is going on tour in July. Thought this might be your chance to see them live. Hope all is well.”

“Hey, remember that Italian restaurant hidden on the corner of 5th? What was it called? I’m hoping to go back this weekend, but I don’t know the name of it. Hope all is well.”

See the pattern of these texts. All of them are casual with a question. Having a question in a text gives your ex-boyfriend a chance to reply. But don’t hold your breath. If your former flame isn’t ready to respond or he’s simply not interested, then it’s best to give him more time and space to come around.

Let’s hope he comes around.

Using memories to generate a response is usually a good strategy. It allows your ex to think about the positive memory and reevaluate his impression of you. It could also be funny memories that remind your ex that you two could be in a healthy relationship if negative feelings can be erased.

Using the text examples above should help you break the ice. Think so something casual and neutral to say with no intentions to expect a reply from your ex. I know that awkward feeling you’re going through. Even if you’ve known your ex for many years, you’re getting butterflies like it’s the first time talking to him.

Don’t be. Don’t let that nervousness control you. If you don’t know what to do, take the extra time to think and craft the perfect message. The last thing you want is a text that sending mixed signals to your ex after no contact. It will only confuse him and arouse a whole new set of emotions and bad memories.

Keep in mind that you need to earn your ex’s trust again. It doesn’t matter who ended the relationship, but both of you dealt with the emotional pain and the feeling of loneliness.

So baby steps are the best form of communication to start a conversation with your ex. Make your messages light and easy, and stay away from heavy and difficult conversations.

Use memories to reconnect, but don’t mention the breakup at all. Don’t start an argument or point out what you might have done wrong. You want to give him a chance to miss you as a friend and as his girlfriend. It could also be a chance to realize how much he lost by losing you as his girlfriend.

Don’t push too hard for a reply after he replies to your first text. If you don’t hear from him the following day, give it a few days.

However, if you’re going out of your mind by then and need to hear from him as soon as possible, it’s best to find a distraction. But don’t sound desperate or needy. Try my sample text ideas above and see what happens.

In the meantime, make sure to write down everything that goes through your head about your relationship or breakup. You’ll need those thoughts to cope with the situation you’re in.

My rule of thumb is to wait for your ex to text you first. Let him reach out and initiate contact. The longer you can maintain radio silence, the more it appears that the breakup has little effect on you. After all, it would seem a little orchestrated to text your ex-boyfriend exactly 30 days after the split.

If you’re feeling the urge to text your ex-boyfriend first, wait a couple of weeks and see if he will break the silence and reach out. That being said, you can also open all lines of communication to signal to your ex that you’re open to talking again. This might be an excellent opportunity to replace negative memories with positive ones.

Women generally feel the urge more than men if they are the ones dumped. We tend to hold on to the deepest pain longer and seek answers for the cause. Men tend to move on faster and let go of bad feelings faster.

Wait. Let him text you first. The best thing to do is let him reach out and initiate a conversation with you. However, if you still feel the urge to send a message, then try the messages below. They will soften your ex up and help you get a response from him faster.

“Hey, It’s been a while! I just wanted to say hi, and I’m thinking about you! I hope things are going well. ”

“Hi, How has life been treating you? Hope life is good, and you’re doing great.”

“Hey, What have you been up to the past last few months? I’ve been really busy, and I’ve missed you! Hope everything is going well for you.”

If your ex doesn’t respond, don’t take it as a bad sign. He might be busy with work, or he might be busy with his social life. If you don’t hear from him for a couple of days, I wouldn’t worry much about it.

However, if you feel like you’re going crazy or if your ex is ignoring you entirely after several weeks, then I highly recommend trying the text messages below:

“Hi, How have things been treating you lately? Hope life is treating you well and hope all is well. ”

“Hey, It’s been a while! I hope things are treating you well. How are you doing? ”

“Hey, Hope all is well with you. How have things been treating you lately?”

Asking questions or expressing concern allows your ex to think about the relationship without the pressure of feeling the need to respond right away. It will help him to think about his recent activities and feel relieved of guilt.

If you’re desperate to talk to your ex, then try the text below. It will get him thinking about the relationship, and he will reply.

“Hey [ex’s name], Just wanted to see how things have been treating you lately. I hope all is well with you. ”

Stay away from heavy conversations on what went wrong in the relationship. This is the time to focus more on positive memories of his presence or what he did for you throughout your relationship. Also, please don’t start an argument or try to make him jealous. You want to give him a chance to miss you as a friend and as his girlfriend.

Get My Guide On Dealing With Breakups: Breakup Is Over

It could also be a chance to realize how much he lost by losing you as his girlfriend.

This is not the time to make him feel bad about himself. It will only make him avoid you all the more. Set your feelings aside and put out lighthearted messages that are positive and hopeful about your future together.

Wait, Do You Still Have A Chance?

Find out what your chances are of getting your ex back with
this 2 minute quiz.

7 Sassy Texts To Make Him Miss You Like Crazy

Charice — Tue, 12 Oct 2021 09:40:21 GMT

It’s common for us women to keep finding ways to get our ex’s attention. Especially if you’re the dumpee (person who got dumped), you want a chance to explain yourself, ask for forgiveness that will lead to a second chance. You’re dying to send texts to make him miss you so that your ex-boyfriend will realize that he’s made a big mistake of leaving a beautiful person like you.

Before you even think about sending texts to make your ex-boyfriend miss you, you need to complete the No Contact Rule first. Don’t rush into sending any impulsive messages that will land you in hot water again. Delete your ex’s phone number and instant messaging accounts first if you can’t resist.

The key is to give yourself time and space to cool off your emotions and allow time to help you make the right moves to text your ex back

Can’t Stop Breaking No Contact?: Get My Private Method Here

Just a personal disclaimer, I would not text an ex to make him miss me. It’s just not my style to send a direct text message to get a man’s attention. There’s a lingering feeling that you were giving your ex power even when the relationship ended. If the message is intended to make your ex-boyfriend miss you, it’s easy to sound desperate and come off in the wrong way.

Especially if you send the text at night.

Below are a few texts to make him miss you. If you plan to send cute texts or flirty texts, make sure to read it over a few times to see if the message is clear. Not only is the message itself essential, but timing matters too.

“Hey, it’s been a while. How are you? Are you back in the city? Hope all is well.

“Hey, I was thinking about you. How’s everything? Maybe we could catch up over sometime?”

“Hi, I was thinking about you. Would be great to catch up sometime. Let me know when you’re ready to talk.”

“Hey, just found out Maroon 5 is going on tour in July. Thought this might be your chance to see them live. Hope all is well.”

“Hey, remember that Italian restaurant hidden on the corner of 5th? What was it called? I’m hoping to go back this weekend, but I don’t know the name of it. Hope all is well.”

“I was just thinking about the time we…”

“I just went to IKEA and noticed that blue couch is still there ……. it reminded me of you that one time you sat there for 2 hours! That was really fun.”

“I just found my copy of The Breakfast Club, and it made me think about you for the first time in a while. Classic movie! Going to watch it tonight.

Now, if you are asking a question like this, I’m going to stop you right there. Girl, it is not worth going to the extreme to try and put a smile on your ex’s face. The risk of sounding desperate and clingy is too high it will break your No Contact efforts. You might as well call your ex and tell him you love him.

Stop doing things that make your ex want to avoid you, not miss you. Take a risk-free approach – create a new life, don’t try to make him miss you – simply because he has moved on and there’s really nothing you can do about it. Making contact with an ex boyfriend almost always backfires and causes unnecessary drama and heartbreak for those involved. When you are trying to make him miss you, you’re playing a dangerous game. It’s called begging your ex to take you back. Think about it.

You’re telling your ex that he’s better off with you or that he’s missing out on something, or that his life has become dull without you. You’re telling him that he is not happy with his current relationship.

We’re all scared of the thought our ex is moving on and won’t consider a second chance if he’s forgotten about us. For some of us, we go into “desperate mode” to develop ways to stay on our ex’s minds.

It’s an exhausting vicious cycle that will only drive you crazy!

For the record, it is not easy to switch off on someone with who you’ve had a committed relationship with. Your ex is not going to forget about you instantly. After all, you two created amazing memories together and had a beautiful love life. Perhaps all your ex need is a bit of space apart to realize the cherished woman he was with.

From time to time, your ex-boyfriend is going to miss you. His memory of you isn’t going to be all negative. It’s just clouded for the time because the spark is gone. And the perfect solution to this is giving each other the silent treatment to let go of negative emotions.

Now, if you want to stay on his mind, here’s a great and effortless way to get started. Post photos of yourself genuinely living your life on Facebook and Instagram. Share your newly single life with your circle and let your friends pass the word to your ex. Here’s the trick: send a photo of you with something that signals something to your ex-boyfriend from time to time.

It could be a photo of you visiting a restaurant with your ex’s favorite food. It could be you and some friends going to a game against your ex’s favorite sports team. Or you could just be posting a brunch with your sister at a new coffee shop, knowing that your ex is a coffee fanatic.

Again, you have to be genuinely living your life. There’s no need to fake a scene with the sole purpose of posting online and risk people seeing right through you. It’s much easier if you are enjoying your moment and creating a happy memory for yourself.

Get My Guide On Dealing With Breakups: Breakup Is Over

You’re also reconnecting and spending time with your family and friends. When we’re in a relationship, we tend to spend a chunk of time with our partner. Now that your ex is out of the picture, this is the perfect time to reconnect with your trusted circle.

If you’ve been following my relationship advice above, then you know it’s not my recommendation to text your ex boyfriend back. You might think it’s a great idea to initiate your intentions, but this only gives power to your ex-boyfriend that he’s still in control.

And how much effort do you think your ex will put into making you the luckiest girl if he’s in total control.

Probably none.

I included this topic in this article to reiterate my stance on focusing on yourself during the No Contact period and onwards. I repeat, there is no need to text a guy to make him miss you and want you. That message should come from your former flame, period.

The best strategy (and most effortless) is to live your life and let your success spread your vibe. Trust me, this type of energy will not only spread faster to your ex-boyfriend, but it will draw him in fast. Once your ex realizes the independent woman he’s lost and see what you’re capable of, he’s going to be the one sending texts saying he misses you and want you back.

How Do I Keep Him Wanting More

When your ex sends texts, make sure to respond according to his interest. If he’s asking you out, tell him the next day. This will make him realize how independent you are and that you’re happy without him. You can also take it a step further and ask for a short hangout. This way, your ex is the one who puts himself out there to get back together with you. If he cancels, then fine! He’s not interested.

Wait, Do You Still Have A Chance?

Find out what your chances are of getting your ex back with
this 2 minute quiz.

200+ Would You Rather Questions to Help Break the Ice

Andrea Lawrence — Fri, 08 Oct 2021 20:02:39 GMT

Andrea has a background in Myers-Briggs and Western astrology. She mostly writes about relationships.

Sometimes you need some questions to break the ice. I have more than 200+ questions for you that can help you navigate all kinds of situations from funny to gross.

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"Would You Rather" Questions

This article has a variety of "Would You Rather" questions. Some of these questions are very conversational, others are meant to spice up conversations, and some are meant to end conversations altogether.

I've separated the questions into six different categories:

Friendly: Use these if you need to break the ice or keep things light.
Flirtatious: You're dating and trying to get to know each other or get into the right mood.
For Long-Term Couples: You've been together for a while, you need to address some things, or segue into something you desire.
Mixed Bag: If you're wanting to start up a conversation and just see where it goes, these are great. These can be used in a number of scenarios.
Completely Random, Kind of Strange, Somewhat Funny: These are for friends and others who like abstract conversations and want to laugh, think a little, and engage in some weirdness. Some people like random questions; other people might find randomness off-putting.
Somewhat Uncomfortable and Gross: These are for people who want to talk about uncomfortable scenarios. They're more like what your 12-year-old cousin would ask you. These are inappropriate for dates. Use them if you need to get out of a date fast!

Friendly "Would You Rather" questions help you to get a conversation started or help you to better get to know someone.

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Friendly

A friend is someone with whom you can relate. This is someone you spend time with who has mutual interests. You show up for each other, you laugh at similar things, and you bond over your favorite things.

A friend could also be a sibling, cousin, niece or nephew, neighbor, or co-worker. Friends want to be in a good alignment with each other. They want positive interactions.

If you don't want to move out of the friend-zone or make things awkward, avoid flirty questions. Know what is an appropriate question vs. an inappropriate question when you get into a conversation with someone.

Synonyms for friend include: buddy, playfellow, playmate, chum, sidekick, ally, confidante, amigo, companion, homegirl, comrade, supporter, and bro.

Friendly Questions

Would you rather go to Paris or London?
Would you rather eat sushi or tacos?
Would you rather dance or sing?
Would you rather play baseball or football?
Would you rather meet Taylor Swift or Shakira?
Would you rather eat pie or cake?
Would you rather have a dog or a cat?
Would you rather travel to Oregon or New York?
Would you rather drink beer or coffee?
Would you rather have Fridays or Mondays off?
Would you rather be an early bird or a night owl?
Would you rather eat chicken or fish?
Would you rather wear heels or flats?
Would you rather go ice skating or rollerblading?
Would you rather see sunrise or sunset?
Would you rather go to the Grand Canyon or see a Broadway play?
Would you rather it be spring forever or fall forever?
Would you rather it be summer or winter?
Would you rather learn how to play an instrument or learn a new language?
Would you rather travel to a place you haven't been or somewhere familiar?
Would you rather see a romantic comedy or a thriller?
Would you rather cook or bake?
Would you rather be a voice in a Disney animated movie or be an actor in a Marvel movie?
Would you rather play Guitar Hero or Super Smash Bros.?
Would you rather watch shows on Hulu or Netflix?
Would you rather watch a sports game or a sitcom?
Would you rather meet Dolly Parton or Cher?
Would you rather meet David Bowie or Prince?
Would you rather listen to podcasts or music?
Would you rather watch a Halloween or Christmas movie?
Would you rather watch the Olympics or the Miss America pageant?
Would you rather go to Japan or Ireland?
Would you rather paint a room or add wallpaper?
Would you rather take a trip to the hardware store or the garden center?
Would you rather go to a movie or have a picnic?

Flirty questions help you to better get to know your partner and their likes and dislikes.

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Flirtatious

The following "would you rather" questions are for dates, couples, and romantic occasions. These can be used to help steer conversations in the right direction or to help with planning dates.

The questions are meant to be engaging and to help set the mood. The questions should be helpful if you're trying to figure out your partner. They can be used at the beginning of a relationship or for long-term couples.

By flirtatious, what do I mean? I mean you're behaving in a manner to try to attract someone and appeal to them. You're trying to be romantic, intimate, personal, and charismatic.

Flirtatious Questions

Would you rather have a first date at a coffee shop or a museum?
Would you rather have a hug or a kiss?
Would you rather go salsa dancing or take waltz lessons?
Would you rather go on a date to make pottery or to paint a canvas?
Would you rather go stargazing or walk along the beach to collect seashells?
Would you rather hold my hand or hold my arm?
Would you rather I keep my beard or lose it?
Would you rather I surprise you with a trip or plan it with you?
Would you rather receive chocolates or flowers?
Would you rather go on a weekend trip and stay at a B&B or go on a camping trip?
Would you rather I wear red or black?
Would you rather I buy you big jewelry or something more subtle?
Would you rather I call you or text you?
Would you rather have a morning date or an evening date?
Would you rather use handcuffs or blindfolds?
Would you rather I use cologne or not?
Would you rather I use perfume or not?
Would you rather spend time in a hot tub or at the pool?
Would you rather eat strawberries covered in chocolate or cheesecake?
Would you rather elope or have a big wedding?
Would you rather have a romantic candlelit dinner or go somewhere fancy for dessert?
Would you rather receive love letters or chocolates?
Would you rather go on a date to a symphony or a ball game?
Would you rather I pay or we split the check down the middle?
Would you rather someone propose in public or private?
Would you rather hang out on the couch or go for a walk?
What would you rather get on Valentine's Day: a fancy dinner at a 5-star restaurant or a professional chef cooks for you and your date at home?
Would you rather do a love tarot reading or get your palm read?
Would you rather have a date to an office Christmas party or a wedding?
Would you rather I call you sweetie or honey?
Would you rather play spin the bottle or Twister?
Would you rather kiss under the mistletoe or at midnight on New Year's Eve?
Would you rather I call you sweetheart or something more original?
Would you rather go to a winery or join the bacon of the month club?
Would you rather I wrote you a poem or serenaded you?

Sometimes you just need to keep your questions simple but a little playful.

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For Long-Term Couples

You've been together for a long time. You have split up the chores, but maybe you want to split up the chores even more. You want a little bit of spark in your relationship, but you don't need to kindle up a giant-sized bonfire at this time. You want to grow old together; you don't want to sound like a young, inexperienced couple.

We're Committed Questions

Would you rather do the dishes or the laundry?
Would you rather vacuum or mop the floors?
Would you rather try one of our favorite restaurants or try something new?
Would you rather save money this weekend or go on a date?
Would you rather eat at home or go to a restaurant?
Would you rather do a puzzle or play a game?
Would you rather buy a massage chair or buy a new shower head with fancy settings?
Would you rather have chocolate or cookies at home?
Would you rather hang out with friends tonight or stay home?
Would you rather start a garden or redesign a room?
Would you rather have kids or no kids?
Would you rather have a long bubble bath or get more sleep?
Would you rather I make breakfast for you while you're in bed or I make you cookies?
Would you rather go apple picking or go to a corn maze?
Would you rather donate some clothes or some old dishes?
Would you rather hold my hand or kiss my cheek?
Would you rather stay up late or go to bed early?
Would you rather have a big shower or more space in the bathroom?
Would you rather have a date night with pizza or tacos?
Would you rather have a picnic in the backyard or a park?
Would you rather we save up money for a vacation or to remodel the kitchen?
Would you rather spend Christmas in Disney World or with our extended family?
Would you rather take a cooking class together or a pottery class?
Would you rather ride bikes together or go rock climbing?
Would you rather I kiss you in the morning or at night?
Would you rather take out the trash or clean the toilets?
Would you rather eat cake late at night or ice cream?
Would you rather host Thanksgiving or go to someone's house?
Would you rather play Scrabble or Catan?
Would you rather mow the lawn or water the plants?
Would you rather go to a wine tasting or a cheese tasting?
Would you rather be more flexible or stronger?
Would you rather be in a cute costume or a sexy costume?
Would you rather get a puppy or a kitten?
Would you rather learn how to play the piano or the guitar?

Are you on a long road trip? These questions can help you keep a conversation going and enthused.

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Mixed Bag

The mixed bag questions are for when you're not really sure where to take the conversation. You might be on a long road trip, a high school band outing, or you're stuck in a long line at an amusement park. These questions are all over the place and are mostly friendly. They're designed to get the conversation started or to think of things with a new perspective.

These questions are great if you need to stay up late or if you need to distract people during a board game.

Conversation Starters

Would you rather live in the coldest part of the world or the hottest part?
Would you rather dance for 24 hours straight or be locked into a jail cell for 24 hours?
Would you rather spend a day with penguins or otters?
Would you rather be trapped in a clown store or a closet of spiders?
Would you rather go to the Moon or Mars?
Would you rather eat fruity candy or chocolate?
Would you rather teach Math or Art?
Would you rather eat fried butter or a fried scorpion?
Would you rather take a tour through a haunted New Orleans house or a haunted Welsh castle?
Would you rather get your fortune read by a stockbroker or a doctor?
Would you rather go bungee jumping or skydiving?
Would you rather go on a vacation to Mexico to hit up the beaches or go skiing in the Alps?
Would you rather go on a dinosaur dig or discover a planet?
Would you rather go to Disney World or Universal Studios?
Would you rather spend a week at your grandma's or spend an entire afternoon at the DMV?
Would you rather grow your hair out as long as possible or shave your eyebrows?
Would you rather be a dragon for a day or a unicorn for a day?
Would you rather tame a lion or a crocodile?
Would you rather date Joe Exotic or Donald Trump?
Would you rather date Betty White or Queen Elizabeth?
Would you rather bake a gigantic cake or build a super tall Lego tower?
Would you rather see a baseball game with centaurs or go to a ballet of elves?
Would you rather run to City Hall or do a workout to old Richard Simmons videos?
Would you rather tell your great-grandparents how to use an iPhone or explain to a child how to get a second mortgage?
Would you rather have the chance to talk to someone who has died or put a love spell on someone?
Would you rather sit on the largest rocking chair in the world or eat an ice cream sundae with the largest spoon in the world?
Would you rather be a contestant on a wild Japanese game show or be a contestant on the Amazing Race?
Would you rather be interviewed by Jerry Springer or Maury?
Would you rather be trapped in a bounce house or an escape room?
Would you rather have a wax figurine of yourself at Madame Tussauds in London or have someone who has specialized in ancient sculptures create a replica of you?
Would you rather be featured in a Studio Ghibli movie or a Pixar movie?
Would you rather fly around the world in a hot air balloon or ride a horse along the West Coast?
Would you rather take a trip to the Wild West or Victorian England?
Would you rather you could hold a note while singing for three minutes or you could hold a squat position for three minutes?
Would you rather suddenly turn into a pumpkin at midnight or be an anthropomorphic teapot?

A great "Would You Rather" question goes way outside the box. It delivers a premise that keeps the laughter and confusion going.

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Completely Random, Kind of Strange, Somewhat Funny

These questions are meant to be strange. People may look at you funny if you ask these. The questions could inspire some lively conversation, or they may stop the conversation altogether.

Yes, some of these might work as very creative pickup lines. You might also get someone's drink in your face, or someone might slowly and quietly find a way to get away from you.

Question askers beware: the following round of questions isn't for everyone. Think carefully about the other person before you start asking these. (Granted, many of them are hilarious.)

Bizarre Questions

Would you rather turn into a cat with laser beam eyes or turn into a dog that can fly?
Would you rather be able to travel to the core of the planet without getting harmed or shrink down to the size of an ant?
Would you rather have carrots for ears or corn for hands?
Would you rather be a leprechaun who can teleport or a gargoyle who sleeps during the day, awakens at night, and fights crime?
Would you rather eat sour popsicles for an entire week and nothing else or sour hot soup for an entire month and nothing else?
Would you rather go back in time to live a day from childhood or your college days?
Would you rather be a scientist who finds a cure for something kind of pointless, like stopping ear hair growth, or be an inventor of a pointless product, like a banana cutter?
Would you rather participate in a study to eat paper for a year or wear braces for a year?
Would you rather be a fireball coming out of a dragon's mouth and headed to a village or a lightning bolt from Thor's hammer?
Would you rather be purple for the rest of your life or green?
Would you rather you could smell numbers or hear colors?
Would you rather have to wear a bonnet every day or wear rain boots every day?
Would you rather have a long title people have to announce every single time you arrive or no one talks to you for the first 30 minutes you're at a party?
Would you rather have a plaid cat who levitates or a floral dog who walks through walls?
Would you rather be an immortal genie who has to perpetually grant wishes or an immortal vampire who is asocial?
Would you rather only be allowed to eat flowers for a year or eat pumpkins for a year?
Would you rather be only allowed to speak in the first person or have to randomly end your sentences with trumpet noises?
Would you rather randomly turn into a rainbow and sprinkle Skittles down on people or be a choo-choo train in a child's hand?
Would you rather go to the dentist with bad breath or go get a pedicure when you have a severe toe fungus?
Would you rather get lost in a scary corn maze or get lost in a maze of mirrors?
Would you rather suddenly turn into a cartoon character or spend a year in a lucid dream?
Would you rather switch jobs with the president or a racecar driver?
Would you rather walk down the beach holding hands with a skunk or go on an inflatable gondola ride with a porcupine?
Would you rather be a magical flute that grants people wishes or a fruit tree that reveals to people all the knowledge of good and evil?
Would you rather work on a film score with Mozart or Beethoven?
Would you rather be a world-renown Tetris player or a world-renown kazoo player?
Would you rather turn into a bird or a fish?
Would you rather be stuck at Times Square on New Year's Eve or in the middle of Montana for a week?
Would you rather form a league of basketball-playing turtles or a league of baseball-playing deer?
Would you rather dance with an ostrich or a monkey?
Would you rather play cards with demons in hell or sing songs with angels in heaven?
Would you rather have to explain quantum mechanics to fifth graders or have to explain the baby shark song for two hours to the president's cabinet?
Would you rather have to go to the doctor because you inhaled sprinkles or because you handcuffed yourself to handcuffs?
Would you rather live inside a giant burrito with windows or a giant pizza with doors?
Would you rather believe in Santa Claus your whole life and be disappointed when he doesn't show up every year or would you rather have to tell people a conspiracy theory that's completely made up every time someone mentions JFK?

Sometimes we need a break from real life and a trip down memory lane. . . to our sixth-grade sense of humor.

iStock

Somewhat Uncomfortable and Gross

These questions are not for dates unless you're in desperate need of repellent. These questions are gross. They're what you'd ask a close buddy who isn't too squeamish. These questions sound like they're from the mind of a 12-year-old boy.

These questions have the purpose of making people uncomfortable. Some are pretty gross; some are pretty bold.

Yucky Questions

Would you rather have splinters constantly or boogers constantly?
Would you rather live in an outhouse or a sewer?
Would you rather fart or burp every time you end a sentence?
Would you rather save all your nail clippings to get into heaven or save all your used contacts to get into heaven?
Would you rather smear BBQ on your face or coleslaw before every date?
Would you rather your hands produce mucus or bile?
Would you rather be a slug smothered in salt or a tarantula missing four legs?
Would you rather have to moan every time you blink or sneeze every time you blink?
Would you rather smell like a skunk when you exercise or smell like a pig every time you sit still?
Would you rather have to explain to your grandma that she can't drive anymore or explain to your five-year-old child that Santa isn't real?
Would you rather have to sit through a six-hour opera or get a cavity filled?
Would you rather have to wait to pee for an hour or miss work by 30 minutes?
Would you rather get to an interview late or get to a plane late?
Would you rather sit by someone who smells bad or eats too loud?
Would you rather have to sleep during the day and be awake at night. . . or only eat one 300 calorie meal for the day?
Would you rather accidentally break some glass heirloom of your mom's or get the flu?
Would you rather step on a wet floor in your socks or eat scrambled eggs with eggshells.
Would you rather sit on thumbtacks or a whoopie cushion? What about as a teacher?
Would you rather tell your teenage daughter she can't date someone or tell your teenage son he didn't get accepted onto a sports team?
Would you rather have your dishwasher fail or your laundry machine fail?
Would you rather get stuck on a bad date or a bad interview?
Would you rather crash your dad's car or get paint all over your mom's wedding dress?
Would you rather get a root canal or nose surgery?
Would you rather someone pick you up an hour late or an hour early?
Would you rather eat bologna sandwiches every day through your nose for a year or eat rocks with your mouth for a year?
Would you rather have an infestation of bed bugs or spiders?
Would you rather go on a date to a gas station or the post office?
Would you rather paint your house magenta and lime green or paint your car to look like a clown?
Would you rather spend the next five years studying the mating cycles of maggots or spend the next five years researching earwax and its genetic traits?
Would you rather chant magical incantations every time someone brought up life insurance or would you rather break into song and dance every time someone brought up apples?
Would you rather have to crawl upstairs every time or do squats every time you rode an elevator?
Would you rather have to park a spaceship outside your workplace (and never explain it) or drive an ice cream truck to work?
Would you rather get stung by a bee or a jellyfish?
Would you rather an airport loses your luggage or you have to travel everywhere in a golf cart?
Would you rather skip exercising for the next year or eat only dessert for the next year?
Would you rather have a freckle that talks to people or an eyeball that randomly changes colors?
Would you rather accidentally stain sheets while at someone's house or vomit in their kitchen sink?
Would you rather go on a date in stained clothes or with no shoes?
Would you rather eat a smoothie that your 12-year-old son created that most definitely has pickles and turkey in it or let your 6-year-old daughter do your makeup for an interview?
Would you rather spend a day with one of your hands taped to your shoulder or your legs are tied together?
Would you rather have to spend the rest of your life in a bathroom or never be allowed in a bathroom again?
Would you rather you can't use a fridge for the rest of your life or you can't use any knives to cut food ever?
Would you rather be lost in a world entirely made of cheese or a world entirely made of corn?
Would you rather eat roadkill or a ten-year-old hamburger?
Would you rather have a malfunctioning toilet or malfunctioning garbage disposal?
Would you rather lick the carpet or a frozen pole?
For the next year, would you rather skip taking showers/baths or brushing your teeth?
Would you rather have the farts of a walrus or the stench of a skunk?
Would you rather win awards for your flaky skin or your fungus toes?
Would you rather have to write a book report about the scandalous affairs of Benjamin Franklin or the hygiene habits of biblical characters?

Umesh Chandra Bhatt from Kharghar, Navi Mumbai, India on October 08, 2021:

Very interesting. We use them often. Thanks for sharing.

14 Tips to Fool People Into Thinking You Are Not a Narcissistic Psycho

Bev G — Fri, 01 Oct 2021 11:48:13 GMT

I've been a freelance writer for a long time. One of my favorite topics is the complicated one of human relationships.

Photo by Sammy Williams on Unsplash

It's Time to Change

Once upon a time, you commanded respect. You were the star of your own life. Problem is, times have changed and your particular flavor of personality disorders has been attracting negative attention lately, what with all the TV shows and 99 cent thrillers (they always have blue covers, have you noticed?).

Therefore, it’s important that people don’t catch on to the fact that you are one. I mean, how tacky to be a caricature!

Having been married to someone like you, I want to help you avoid being lumped into the generic stereotypes of stalkers and manipulators. Let your Alpha status take a back seat, it’s time for you to become a nice guy.

Here are some techniques and tricks to ensure people think you are an ordinary Joe, like me.

1. Stop telling us how clever you are

It’s difficult, especially when you know you are more intelligent than all us normies. But it puts the minions’ backs up for some reason. Everyone likes to think they are clever. Don’t they?

2. Foster a sense of humility

I know, I know. It goes against the grain, doesn’t it? But like the old ‘sincerity’ quote goes, if you can fake it, the plebs will feel sorry for you. If you downplay your achievements, they will rush in with reassurance. Win-win.

"The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you’ve got it made."
Jean Giraudoux (Often attributed to George Burns by people not so clever as us).

3. Pretend you're slightly depressed or anxious

Drop a few hints that your mental health is a bit wobbly. Your FaceBook friends will come flocking with advice, at which you can secretly laugh. It will give you loads of future ammunition too, especially when they confess their own mental challenges.

4. Keep your success and control fantasies to yourself

People don’t want to hear them. Really. We are all too busy constructing our own world-domination dreams.

5. Stay away from the center of attention

I know it is your natural habitat, but try to remain on the sidelines now and then. You’ll find the center of attention will gravitate back to you soon enough. It can’t be otherwise, can it?

6. Rein in your superiority

Yes, yes, of course you are superior in every way, and it goes without saying, you are unutterably unique. Honestly, there’s no one else like you, apart from me. However, it’s better that you don’t push it onto others.

7. Limit your self-entitlement

I know you deserve all the good things in life, yet the popular view is that the world owes you nothing. However, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t take what you want. Just do it sneakily.

8. Cultivate empathy

Look, the proles need understanding. Yes, they do. They want to feel your sympathy and your empathy. I suggest spending some time watching sad, cute puppy videos. Reach into your center (yeah, I know, bullshit, right?) and look for the tiniest kernel of gooey emotion. Can you find it? That’s what those miserable sods want, a font of meaningless platitudes. You will have to adjust your facial expression accordingly. Practice, practice.

9. Welcome the gray rock

When your ex ‘gray rocks’ you, have a little internal party. It’s working . . . they are literally on a knife-edge, hyper-vigilant to your every word, gesture, and glance. Sure they are pretending to ignore you and acting uninterested, but know the opposite is true. Inside they are trembling. Don’t get angry, be more you. Let the charm flow forth.

10. Hold back on the blame game

This next one is hard. Stop blaming others. Of course it’s their fault; we can all see it. But if you turn it around and defend them, console them, dismiss their behavior as a mere human mistake, they will be so grateful. And, in effect, you have blamed them anyway. You know it and, most importantly, so do they. They’ll feel diminished but they will love you more.

11. Hide your disdain

The way to do this is to replace it with false praise. Make it up as you go along. You really hate that ignorant little guy and his slobby wife next door, but you need your neighbors to like you. Otherwise, they won’t take your Amazon deliveries in and keep an eye on your property when you go on those long vacations you enjoy so much. Tell him you admire his wife’s taste in drapes. Express your genuine envy at his well-kept front lawn. I’ll bet he’ll do yours while you are away.

12. Manipulate by not manipulating

It comes easily to you, doesn’t it? However, here’s a thought: why not do the opposite? For example, drawing your boss’s attention to your hard-working, but less attractive colleague. The one you’d normally shove out of the way for your own benefit, and rightly so; they are pretty wet, aren’t they?. Why not nominate them for a promotion? Why? Because your boss will appreciate your ‘honesty’. And you’ll get a better promotion. Have a little think about it.

13. Adopt feelings

More faking required. I know you don’t think emotions are a real thing and you are probably right. Goodness knows what’s going on with all these snowflakes who keep going on about their ‘feelings’. However, it’s a good idea to acquire some feelings yourself.

This will involve a mirror — yep, your best friend. Make a list of emotions and feelings. You can probably get away with about 10. Here’s an example list and how to act. You are a great actor after all. Look at your face in the mirror as you try them out. Practice and remember to use them at the appropriate times.

Sadness: Imagine a poor, lost kitten crying for its mama. Stick your bottom lip out a tiny wee bit. There you go.
Guilt: Pretend you have been caught out in a lie. Slump your shoulders, drop your head, open your eyes wide. Guilty as charged.
Empathy: Tricky one, this, you are supposed to feel what they are feeling. A bit like those double rainbows. The best way, I’ve found, is to nod sagely and put your hand on their arm. No more than that, mind, Think of poor Geoffrey. If you are on the phone, say, “I’m so sorry, you must feel awful.” Use a quiet voice.
Joy at someone’s achievement: Yes, you can do this. Smile, making sure to crinkle your cold, dead eyes, and tell them congratulations. Horrible for you, but you’ll make them so happy. You can take them down later.
Embarrassment: Wait, I don’t have to tell you about this one, do I? You know what embarrassment feels like. It burns. It’s the one feeling that cuts you to the quick. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel it. Oh no, look at your little face in the mirror! OK, get over it.

See if you can find another five. Consider it homework.

Photo by Austrian National Library on Unsplash

14. Curb that anger

One last tip: Control your rage. Yep, sure you want to throttle me, kill me, bury me, rip my arm off and hit me with the soggy end. But if you really want to trick people into thinking you are as far from being a crazy psychopath as it is possible to be, then you must constrain your natural tendency to beat the shit out of those who disagree with you. You remember what happened last time you lost it. May I suggest an anger management course? No?

OK, I’m leaving.

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on October 01, 2021:

Thank you, Misbah. It was supposed to be a bit funny - a kind of backlash against all the boring narcissist articles swamping the web right now :D

Thank you for your lovely comment. xxx

Misbah Sheikh from The World of Rebels. on October 01, 2021:

I don't think I'll ever be able to fool someone with the tricks you suggested, Bev. I guess, It's impossible for me to manipulate someone by not manipulating. But I have to admit it's a clever way.

I feel I constantly tell people whatever is in my heart, and I guess this is what causes me the most pain. My feelings can fluctuate over time, but if I love someone, I adore them with all my heart, regardless of whether they love me back or not. If the person I care about is content, I am satisfied.

My family and friends always tell me that I am extremely sensitive and that what hurts me afterwards. But I don't think I can help myself with this. ;)

Thank you for sharing. Stay happy!

Love and Blessings!!!

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on October 01, 2021:

Thank you, Brenda. It took me years to understand what was happening in my marriage. He was so lovely and so horrible at the same time.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on October 01, 2021:

Bev

I love the way you write this one.

Narcissist have a tendency to only think about themselves.

Nothing....nothing else at all matters except their own wants & desires.

I love how you tell him how to show empathy & such.

I don't understand it but they really have no Feelings.

Great write.

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on October 01, 2021:

Thank you! My manipulating, abusive ex died a few years ago, so this is my revenge. xxx

Bev G (author) from Wales, UK on October 01, 2021:

LOL! Nailed it, DS xx

dashingscorpio from Chicago on October 01, 2021:

No self respecting narcissist would ever attempt to fool anyone! LOL!

Almost everyone has heard: "Nice guys finish last."

However no one has ever heard of a LONELY "narcissist", "bad boy", "player", "gangster", or "Alpha male".

Is that a coincidence? No! (People are drawn to them!)

Seriously, for some reason lots of people seem to be attracted to narcissists!

Maybe initially they see them as being very confident, talented, or "special". Some people might think if I can befriend him/her or date them then that would mean (I too) must be "special".

However there is only room for one person in the limelight of the narcissist. Once that sinks in that's when the people trying to be close to them realize he/she only views them as being "fans", "servants", "assistants", "groupies" or whatever and the narcissist will NEVER consider them to be his/her equal.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on October 01, 2021:

Manipulate by not manipulating is the funniest and may be the hardest to try. A very clever article. Good job!

Am I Just a Booty Call? 10 Signs There's No Relationship Potential

Rebecca — Wed, 15 Sep 2021 23:47:22 GMT

Rebecca loves sharing what she knows about alternative medicine, health, frugal living, fun, animals, and how to live a better life!

How Do You Know if You're a Booty Call?

So you've met someone. And you're getting sweet on them, perhaps you're both equally smitten. But you're not sure if a relationship is actually happening or if it's purely physical. Sometimes you know right away if a relationship is going to go somewhere, other times you need to hunt for a bit of clarification. After all, good relationships take time and investment. You can't always know right away what you mean to someone, or even what they mean to you!

1. Examine How You Met

If you met online and rushed into the meeting and immediately hooked up, it's probably just a hook up to them. Social media has created an entirely new beast for dating and hook ups. Just take a look at Tinder.

Although rushing to the physical parts of a relationship is common, and can be one of the most fun parts. . .it often leaves too much space to just move on when it fizzles out. You've left no room for knowing the person on an emotional, spiritual or intellectual level. There is nothing wrong with hooking up online, or in any other manner just observe how the initiation starts off.

If you've met through family or mutual friends, or even in an organic situation, things get harder to recognize as booty call territory.

2. What Are Your Conversations Like?

When people are interested in a relationship, their conversation does not revolve around sex. Doe this potential mate ask you about your family? Career? Things you enjoy doing? Are you getting a sense that they listen to you with interest when you are speaking? Do they show signs of remembering what you share with them? If so, great. . .they may actually be trying to get to know you.

A booty call, male or female, although most are male (we can blame biology for that) will not care to know you other than when bodies start slapping in between the sheets. If the only conversation you're having is pillow talk, you've probably landed yourself a booty call.

3. It's All About the Timing

Timing is important in every aspect of life. Relationships are no exception. We are busy humans these days. The thing is. . .when something is interesting or a priority people make time for it. Regardless of how packed their schedule is.

Is this person calling you before 7pm? How about dates? Are you going out? Or do you only meet up late at a bar to have a few cocktails and get to a place to get it on?

A booty call will typically call you late, and have no solid plans. They definitely will not make plans in advance, or they are full of a plethora of excuses about why they are busy. Do they take eons to reply to messages or texts? Do they even bother to call you back? Get your head out of the clouds and don't make excuses for their lame behavior. If you want to be more than a fun time you need to spend time together doing everyday normal people things. Meeting only late or when convenient for a bump and grind is not the recipe for relationship success.

And if they are only available when you want to slap skins and respond instantly to that. . .this is not rocket science.

4. As They Say, "It's Not What You Know, It's Who You Know"

They say "it's not what you know, it's who you know." Have you met anyone close to the person you're interested in?

Friends? Family? Children? Some mutual friends don't necessarily count. If you're a "dirty little secret," you're probably a booty call. Now don't get me wrong. . .maybe they are taking their time to introduce you to those closest to them. When it comes to parents and kids, this can take time. But if you're at a 6-month mark and no one knows you even exist, that's not a good sign. This one you'll have to gauge a bit. When someone is truly interested they will want to claim you and make sure those closest to them know it. If you're months in, and the only people that have seen you is the mailman upon your walk of shame. . .you're a booty call.

5. "I Only Have Eyes for You" and PDA

Let's say you've had the luxury of going out to eat or doing something with this person besides just meeting for drinks late at a bar or pub. Do they make an effort to claim you in public? This can be anything from gently holding your hand, walking your pace on a sidewalk, or giving you a quick kiss on the cheek.

Full-on groping like pigs doesn't count. Neither does sucking face all over the place. No one wants to see that. If you're that passionate save that behavior for a private setting. People in serious relationships, even those that are passionate, don't behave that way. They respect each other in public and save the hot and heavy for behind closed doors.

Does the person you're seeing openly flirt with everything they come in contact with while you're with them? This only means two things:

You're a booty call.
They are a jerk.

Long eye contact with wait staff? Inappropriate touching? It's ok to be friendly and close to others, but there is a fine line, especially when you've just starting dating. If the person you are with has no shame in making a public scene and not a good one? Guess what? You're probably a booty call!

6. Communication, Communication, Communication

The late-night calling has already been mentioned and is a blatant red flag that you're most likely a nice warm body to enjoy. But there is more to be said.

If you've been seeing someone for three months or longer, it's not unreasonable to have questions about the trajectory of the relationship. By this point, you should have a pretty good idea of where things are going. If you've probed them mentally and they evade or avoid. . .that is not a good sign. If they won't answer direct questions. . .this is a bad sign. If they are not asking or inquiring deeper into your own wants and needs by at least three months. . .this is a bad sign. You may not have everything mapped out in a few months, and that is normal. But a conversation on life goals and some expectations should be happening. If they ghost every time you try to nail them down, this is a bad sign.

7. They Talk Trash About Their Exes

If they have only shared negative dialogue on past lovers, girlfriends or spouses. . .this is a bad sign. If the longest relationship they've ever had was under a year-long. . .this is a bad sign.

Mature people can exit relationships with a sense of growth and respect. They should not bash or trash people they've chosen to be with in the past. The exception could be extreme cases of abuse. If the longest relationship they've ever been able to maintain is less than a year, this shows they are not very good at long-term commitment. Are they over 35 and have never been married? That's not a good sign. Have they never lived with a partner or shared adult responsibilities? Although we all have a past, some behavior molds and creates who we currently are. Noncommittal people are great at the hit it and quit it game.

Do they hide their phone or other personal belongings? Do they avoid using their phone in front of you? You're probably the booty, but they may have more booties on the side.

8. They Never Stay the Night

If you're a booty call, you may notice a pattern that goes like this: You meet up late at night. You may never hook up sober. You'll have hot steamy sex, usually for hours, maybe multiple times. One party will leave before sunrise—just bounce on outta there. You won't be sharing a morning conversation over coffee and omelets. You won't say goodbye with any future planning or commitment, there won't be long hugs, gazes, or sweet talk. Once you're off the mattress, someone is gonna split.

9. Bachelorette/Bachelor Pad Alert!

Take a look around. When you meet someone you can usually gauge basic personality traits relatively quickly. Are they very materialistic? Lots of fancy surface-level things? You'll know a bachelor pad when you see one. Fast cars, high-end perfume, cologne, makeup, lots of emphasis on status? This is not always a red flag, but for a player they sure can be. High maintenance and lack of humility usually point to someone interested in a variety of genitals that does not want to settle down.

Can you leave a toothbrush or any personal items in each other's space without them vanishing? Do you ever leave anything behind intentionally and it magically vanishes? Never to be seen or heard from again? If this is happening, they don't want you to mark your presence in their space.

10. They Tell You!

They blatantly tell you that they do not want to settle down. Or they want to see other people. Or they are not ready for anything serious.

Please do not waste your time thinking with enough effort you will somehow convert them or show them the light. When someone tells you what they want, do yourself a favor and save yourself agony and heartache and believe them.

Booty Call Recap

They only wanna hook up late at night and don't make future plans.
They won't introduce you to people of significance in their lives.
They won't discuss deeper issues or where the relationship stands or is going.
Dating is not a thing.
Typically they don't spend the night.
They evade and hide
They trash talk past lovers or partners
The only PDA is more like sub-par porn.
There is no sign of you in their life, or vice versa, other than physical.
They tell you you're nothing more then a good time.

What To Do When Your Ex Wants You Back

Charice — Tue, 07 Sep 2021 07:59:00 GMT

Can’t Stop Breaking No Contact?: Get My Private Method Here

In this blog, we are always looking for ways to get our ex back. Whether we broke up with them or we’re the ones that got dumped, we believe that there’s always a way to find our paths again with our ex-partners. Now when that moment comes and your ex reaches out for a second chance, what do you do? It’s a big deal, right? After months or years of recovering from the emotional pain and letting your past memories go, your ex shows up wanting to get back together. Now you’re wondering what to do when your ex wants you back.

Even if you badly want to get back together, simply saying yes may not be the best way to begin a new relationship. When your ex initiates contact and wants to talk, there are some questions you need to ask yourself as you decide the next move:

What does your ex really want? What is on his mind when he’s looking for a second chance? What would be the implications of getting back together with your ex? If you really want to get back together, then what are the things that you can do to become better partner? Are there still unresolved issues between both of you? How much time have both of you spent apart from each other?

How can you maintain a healthy relationship? Can you two make it work again?

The key is not to jump to an answer right away. Take your time to evaluate your options and decide what’s best for you. The last thing is to put yourself into an unhealthy relationship and ruin all your efforts of becoming the amazing woman you are.

What To Do When Your Ex Wants You Back

I’m not going to lie, it’s a big decision to decide whether you want to get back with your ex or not. Regardless if you want to get back together or not, the feeling is different when it actually happens. Now that you’re doing great being single, you need to evaluate whether going to a new relationship will change your lifestyle for the better. Here are some questions that you should ask yourself. Trust me, you can’t have your single life when you’re a loving relationship. What to do when your ex wants you back?

1. Being a woman, you have options

You don’t have to be the woman that gets back with her ex. However, what you should do is to know how to deal with a broken heart and be an overall great person. It’s not easy when your heart is broken but it’s more important that you feel better so you can move on. In order to do that, there are many things you can do.

2. Talk it out

When you’re in a relationship, communication is always the key. If there’s anything your ex and you want to work on or improve, then talk about it. Talk about the things that is bothering you or the things that needs to change as a couple. Communication is more than just talking about what’s wrong with your ex or their behavior; communication is really important for people to understand each other and grow on together.

3. Caring about your ex

It’s not easy when someone you love makes you feel bad but there’s something you can do. You can learn how to care about other people and love them the way they are, not the way they make you feel. If you do that, then that means you’re being a nice person and trying to make friends with your ex instead of being angry with them.

4. Do something productive with yourself

You’re at a point where you should know that you can do something better for yourself. You don’t have to continue your unhealthy relationship anymore. There are many things you can do to become a better version of yourself. Becoming a better person is not easy because it will take time but if you really want it, then stick with it and you will be great!

5. Do something good for your ex too

In this case, I mean don’t be the kind of person who’s just mad and antisocial. If you’re the one initiating the breakup, then you don’t have to be mad at your ex anymore. It’s good to let them know that you’re doing great and they should too.

I remember one time, my ex wanted me back. It ended up being a bad idea because we didn’t work out at all. When I broke up with him, he wanted to keep the relationship going but things weren’t working out. Eventually, we got back together and it took us another couple of months before it worked out. I knew then that it was a bad idea and that’s why I should have never gotten back with him since the start. It was a huge mistake.

It’s never a good idea to get back with someone because you think you deserve it. You can’t treat anyone the way you want them to treat you, no matter if they’re your ex or not.

It’s important to understand that it’s just wrong. There’s something called being fair and treating others how they want to be treated. So, always remember that and make sure that you do things in a right and healthy manner when it comes to getting back together with your ex.

You can’t always control everything that happens, especially when you’re dealing with your ex. Things always work out in the end but what’s important is to be strong and not to give up.

This is why I think it’s good to take a break from your ex, there’s no point in following them all over the place because they’re just using you again and again, like a broken record.

What Should I Do When My Ex Wants Me Back?

While your ex may think it’s a fantastic idea to get back together, you should consult with your best friend and family about this. Keep in mind that romantic relationships are a two-way street. Even if your ex-boyfriend wants you back, you need to fully assess whether he is willing to put in the effort for the long run.

Because if he’s only thinking about the happy memories, he may not be able to handle the struggles and walk away. You might end up with a broken relationship again. So before you make a definitive decision, consult your inner circle and see if it’s worth giving your old flame another shot.

Get back with your ex if they’ve changed and are willing to change again because relationships aren’t perfect at all. But, don’t stay with them just because they want to get back together. People change and you need to understand that things will work out eventually in the end, so you need to give them time.

Take the time to make your decision. Go out on a few dates and see if the feelings for your ex-boyfriend are still there. After a few dates, there should be a few obvious signs that will help you make a coherent decision on whether your ex is still right for you.

Now there’s another topic you need to carefully assess and that is trust. Depending on the reason you two broke up, trust will become a major topic when getting back together. If there’s a breach of trust in your past relationship, don’t think it won’t happen again. You’ll have to clearly communicate and make your ex prove that he’s a changed man and not the bad person he was before. If your ex didn’t appreciate you or he wanted you back for all the wrong reasons, then don’t be that person and just move on.

I remember one time, I broke up with my ex because he wanted to continue being in a relationship with his new girlfriend. It was bad because it was bad news for me and I knew it wouldn’t work out in the end. But he didn’t try to call me or anything so I stopped trying to get back together with him.

Be direct with your questions. If your ex is intentionally diverting his answers, it’s a clear sign he’s not genuine about a committed relationship. There’s one more thing you need to know about getting back together with your ex. Always remember that communication is key. If you’re in a relationship and there are communication issues, then there’s broken trust between you two.

What Do You Say When Your Ex Wants You Back?

You need to know that your ex wants you back because he actually wants a healthy relationship. It’s the best option and every good man deserves a second chance, especially when you two have had a rough time in the past. Ask about his feelings towards you, ask about his goals and if there’s still something there that makes him want to be with you. Be careful though, don’t express your emotions unless you want your ex to know exactly what they are. Communication is key.

You can start by spending time with him. Ask your mutual friends how your ex-boyfriend really feels and what he wants from a new relationship. Be honest with yourself, ask yourself if you’re still in love with him or are you just looking for a replacement and the easy way out. If you’re still in love with your ex-boyfriend then there’s a good chance that it will work out in the end. Ask your mutual friends how they think he feels about you. If he really wants to get back together then he’ll find the right time to talk to you about it.

Why Would An Ex Want You Back?

There are certain things that a man wants in a woman. If you’re someone’s ex then it means that you were the one who broke up with them. They’ll always want you back if they never felt like they fully invested in the relationship or if they still love you and want to make it work again. Here are some other times when your ex wants to be with you again:

When your ex wants to get back together, take some time to think about what happened between the two of you before. Always remember that you can’t always control everything that happens between you two. Things always work out in the end but what’s important is to be strong and not to give up.

This is why I think it’s good to take a break from your ex, there’s no point in following them all over the place because they’re just using you again and again, like a broken record.

How Do You Stay Strong When Your Ex Wants You Back?

Stay strong and don’t panic, there’s always a chance to get back together so don’t lose hope. Be cool and tell your ex that you need time to think by yourself. Let them know that you’re not going anywhere but if they want to get back together then they have to prove that they mean it. One common mistake is agreeing quickly to your ex’s wishes without a bit of time contemplating. Now is definitely not the time to wear your heart of your sleeve and pour out your strong emotion out.

Make your ex-boyfriend work for his second chance. And if he is willing to go the distance, then he just might be worth going back for.

Get My Guide On Dealing With Breakups: Breakup Is Over

Wait, Do You Still Have A Chance?

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How To Give Him Space So He Pursues You (Why Men Respond To Distance)

Nick Bastion — Fri, 11 Sep 2020 15:50:47 GMT

You’ve probably heard it a million times in a million different ways. Men need their space and they love the chase.

But how do you combine these two things so that you have him pursuing you like crazy and putting in the effort to lock you down?

Stick with me as I expose why men respond to distance, why men pull away, why men hate it when women don’t give this and how to “pull him to you like a super-powered magnet” using my reel in technique.

If you do not know the “Reel him in technique,” he will ultimately pull away and you lose the man you love for good.

Giving a man space is crucial to this working and by the end you’ll know how to give him space and make him miss you.

Let’s dive right in…

Watch The Video: Why Men Respond To Distance

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Men Respond To Distance Because It’s A New Vibe

Distance really boils down to having and giving space. It’s at the heart of any good relationship. The solution here is to give men space and use that time to actively work on yourself.

The reason why men run hot and cold, why they respond to distance, why he stops pursuing you and starts pulling away all boils down to not knowing how to give him space.

Most love advice, dating tips do not cover solid solutions for women that actually work when trying to get love, have better dating opportunities and forge happy, healthy relationships.

Most women cheat themselves out of experiencing love because they interrupt a man’s process of falling in love. Men fall in love in your absence, when they’re away from you by themselves. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.

You have to give him space to miss you and process his emotions. Men work out their emotions in private, which is why it’s so important giving him space to figure out what he wants.

But what do you do when you’re giving him space? Focus on yourself and living your own happy life that you love! It’s that simple.

MORE: Why Men Pull Away: 3 Easy Ways To Stop A Man From Withdrawing

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

Space is a key ingredient to having a successful relationship. It makes him feel safe by giving him the room he needs to breathe and process his emotions (including his feelings of love for you).

Here’s a key to understanding this whole “giving space” thing. A lot of times in pop culture you hear things like “Men don’t want to be in a relationship because they don’t want to ‘lose their freedom’.”

NO! This is not actually what men want or are afraid of. In truth, men just want a relationship where they can feel comfortable and be given space as needed in the relationship.

The popular misconception that men want to run around being single forever is NOT true! What men are really talking about with that is they don’t want to lose is being able to have uninterrupted space in their life when they need it.

Men need space sometimes. It’s good for them and good for your relationship! It can’t be any more simple than that. This space is the “freedom” that society says men “need” and are afraid to lose.

MORE: The Real Reasons Why Men Pull Away After Getting Close

The key thing to understand here is that it’s very easy to give him space when you have your own happy life to focus on and you’re not relying on the relationship to fulfill that for you.

Learn to see needing space as an opportunity instead of an obstacle. Knowing how to give your man space will make all the difference in the way he sees you as his dream woman and partner.

The real problem is not the guy wanting space or giving your guy space. It’s natural for a man to want some space to himself (especially if he’s going through something emotional or stressful).

It’s easy to give a guy space unless you’re worried that giving a guy space will lead to something bad happening. This worrying itself leads to bad things happening because you feed that negativity into the relationship and end up pushing him away.

Now I know you might say, “Well, if I think something bad is going to happen if I give him space, how can I not worry?”

Let me give you an example to illustrate how this worrying can end up destroying your relationship…

You meet this guy and you’re single and happy. Your vibe is good because there’s no pressure on your dynamic. There’s no heaviness. There’s no burden and weight on him to have to be some specific way, do specific things, say specific things a specific way.

It feels good to be around you and he’s attracted because your vibe is good (thus it feels good to be around you) and your relationship feels good.

Here’s where it can all go wrong (this is where so many women make a huge mistake that puts their relationship on track towards failure).

They get excited about the guy becoming their boyfriend. They build him up in their mind, have fantasies about how the future will turn out, obsess over him, want to possess him, expect him to fulfill their hopes and dreams of having love and a relationship in their life.

Without realizing it, they are putting tons of pressure and expectations on themselves, on the guy, and on the relationship. This is where it all goes wrong.

MORE: Decoding Male Behavior: A Guy’s Take on Neediness

Now, instead of the relationship being light and easy, it needs to live up to some kind of ideal or expectation. Instead of you being able to be present in the moments you’re together with him, you are caught up in your head. You feel this constant need for the relationship to get somewhere, you need something to happen, you need him to be a certain way, do certain things, etc.

Instead of things unfolding naturally, you are trapped in this cycle of constantly trying to force things to be some other way than they naturally are and you’re worried and disappointed that they aren’t happening.

This kills your mood and it makes the relationship feel like a total drag instead of the fun, light-hearted vibe it had in the beginning.

And here’s the worst part of it all… you can sense that the relationship is getting worse and he’s drifting away, so you start to worry you’re losing him and you crave reassurance he still wants you and the relationship.

So you try to do and say things to get reassurance from him that he’s still interested in you and still wants the relationship to work out like you want.

However, you never really feel reassured. If he does reassure you, it’s never good enough because deep down you still feel like something is terribly wrong.

And if you don’t get that reassurance, you feel even worse and push harder for it and go to even more extremes to get it! Sooner or later, after smothering and clingy to him with this fearful energy, he ends up leaving (or at the very least tries to put some distance between you).

It’s exhausting to be around someone who is constantly in a negative state like this. Eventually he will be completely drained and the relationship will end on a sour note.

Where did that woman go who was so attractive and easy to be around? Your attractiveness ends the moment you build the relationship up in your mind as something he has to “live up to” in order for you to feel happy and fulfilled.

So when you’re telling me you’re worried that something bad will happen if you give him space, I have to ask you, “Shouldn’t you be a lot more worried if you DON’T give him space?”

Let’s talk about what to do to fix all this and how to give him space in a way that works to bring him back and make your relationship stronger than ever.

MORE: Why He’s Acting Distant All Of A Sudden (and What To Do About It)

What To Do When A Man Is Pulling Away And ‘Needs Space’

I’m going to tell you exactly what not to do, so that you don’t push him away even further and turn a short break into a relationship-ending nightmare.

You have to know how to give someone space without losing them and that includes understanding what not to do so that you don’t damage your relationship beyond repair.

Whatever you do, don’t go chasing after him. Don’t text him a lot, don’t call him, don’t message him on social media, don’t look to him for validation or reassurance. Let him take the space he needs without you reaching out to him and re-inserting yourself into his life.

MORE: Why Men Go Hot & Cold & 5 Things You Need To Do

Don’t let fear of losing the guy end up destroying your relationship!

When you started seeing this guy, you weren’t worried he was going to leave you. You weren’t worried that you were going to “lose something” you had.

If you’re currently worried about your relationship, this just goes to show you that you now think you have something you can lose. Your mindset changed into a negative thought pattern and this “fear of loss” mindset will sabotage your relationship.

What happens is that the more you think about losing the guy, the worse you feel and the more you want these negative feelings to be resolved. So you start acting differently as your negative emotions are now driving the ship. Instead of your own enjoyment being your guide in the relationship, your negative mindset is working on undoing everything and undermining the security you once felt in your relationship.

Your fears of losing him make you want to control him because you’re afraid if you don’t, you might lose him. When people feel like someone is trying to control them, they instinctively pull away.

Similarly, if your thoughts are dominated by fears of losing the guy, your mood will make you not fun to be around. Instead being light, easy, and fun, the mood is paranoid, suspicious, and gloomy. When you’re mood comes off that negatively, people pull away from that and don’t want to be around it.

Plain and simple, people don’t want to feel like they’re being controlled and they don’t want to be around someone who’s in a bad mood. That’s not just a guy thing… that’s a human thing!

What Should You Actually Do To Keep Him By Your Side?

So what’s the solution to all of this? How do you know when to give him space and how to give a guy space so that he misses you and comes right back into your open arms?

First, it’s important to say that it’s completely normal for a guy to want some space, and it’s completely normal to give him space. As I said before, if you try to control him or make him stay with you, it’s only going to drive him further away.

Most guys need time and space in order to start to feel closer and more connected with a woman. That’s why clinging to him and trying to pull him closer is going to backfire every time. It’s like trying to squeeze a cat tight to your chest and make him love cuddling with you. He’ll just push and scratch to get away but leaving him alone will result in him coming back to you when he’s ready.

And that’s why giving him space will make him miss you and make him more likely to come back. Giving a guy space is part of his process for falling in love and staying in love with you and you don’t want to interrupt that process!

The big secret is being happy about giving them space and seeing it as a good thing for your relationship. It’s a matter of perspective!

When you understand that a guy needing space is part of his way of processing emotions, it’s a lot easier to let a guy have his process because you no longer take it personally. He doesn’t want space to get away from you… he wants it so he can have his process!

MORE: Why Men Pull Away When Everything Seems To Be Going Well

If He’s Looking For Some Space, Let Him Have It

You don’t know the exact reason he wants space and that’s OK. You can use this as a lesson for yourself to learn to be OK with not knowing what is on his mind at the moment.

Like I said before, men want space to sort out their feelings and then, when they’re ready, they’ll re-emerge from their shell and reconnect with you. It’s best to consider this a sacred and private process for men and it’s important to men that their partner understands how important it is for them to have space when they need it.

If he needs a day, give him a day. If he needs a week, give him a week.

What should you do in the meantime?

Use this as an opportunity to bring your mood up and fill your life with happy, enjoyable, and positive things. Do things you love doing. Connect with your friends and loved ones. Do anything and everything you can do to feel great, feel appreciative for the good things in your life and feel happy.

Gratitude is a great way to focus on all of the positives you’ve got going on and once you start, it’s not hard to see how much good stuff you’ve got in your life.

This is actually even more important than giving the guy his space for two reasons:

If you’re doing things to enjoy yourself and improve your mood, what are you not doing? You’re not worrying! And if you’re not feeding into the fears, the negativity and the worrying, it won’t feel like torture to just leave him alone and give him space.
You’ll be in a good mood when he does re-emerge, which will likely lead things in a better direction. Having a great mood is like a super-charged magnet in your relationship!

Your good moods will pull things in a good direction and your bad moods will pull things in a bad direction… so if you ever needed a more of a reason to be in a good mood, do it for your love life!

Ironically, men often need space so that they can be in a good mood within the relationship, too. Knowing how to give a man his space includes the understanding that everyone has their process, and relationships work best when both partners understand how to be in a good mood and bring that good mood into the relationship.

If there’s a problem in the relationship that needs to be worked out, so be it. You’ll give him space and then see what happens from there. Oftentimes you might give a guy space and he works the problem out himself and it’s no longer an issue! Or, he comes back and brings up the problem and, if you’re in a good mood and an open state, you can really listen to each other and work it out.

Either way, your best bet is to give him space and work on being your best, happiest self so that when he comes back around, you can resume your relationship on the best foot going forward.

Of course, giving him space is really just the first step… but when it comes down to it there are 2 big problems every woman experiences in her relationships with men – so pay attention because what you do next is vitally important. The first problem you’re probably going through: if you’re already interested in a man and you feel he might be losing interest, going cold, or pulling away then you need to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

The second problem is this: do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman

Want to find out if he’s really losing interest? Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Is He Losing Interest?Take the Quiz

In summary…

Men respond to distance because it’s a new vibe
Don’t chase after him to calm your own fears
Let him process his emotions in his own space
If he’s looking for some space, let him have it

Being ghosted: How to deal with it and what to text after he ghosted

Nick Bastion — Mon, 07 Sep 2020 15:56:24 GMT

He ghosted me. Vanished. Radio silence.

Unfortunately, this is a very common thing going on in the dating world today. With so much digital access, it’s easy to ignore a text or call, swipe on to the next match, etc. And of course you’re sitting there confused, wondering how to respond to ghosting, especially if it happens over and over again.

All hope is not lost though. I’m going to reveal the 3 reasons guys ghost and the one text you can use to work in your favor and fix things. The next time you find yourself lost, you’ll know what to text after being ghosted so make sure you pay close attention.

When you don’t know these reasons and the text to send, you end up making a mistake and pushing him away once and for all when there’s a chance you could get him back.

MORE: Why is he ignoring me all of a sudden?

Watch The Video: He Ghosted You?!? Text Him THIS Next

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Ghosting someone sucks. However, there’s a lot more than you realize going on here and this solution to how to text a ghoster is actually more important than you think.

When someone ghosts you, it can be the most confusing thing in the world. Especially if everything seemed to be going great so far. Then, poof. He’s gone.

There’s a couple of perfectly normal reasons why this might happen though…

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

MORE: The Exact Reasons Why Men Suddenly Disappear

#1: He’s Just Busy

He could simply be dealing with something personal or tackling a really difficult situation at work that he doesn’t want to talk about. You have no real way of knowing and pushing the situation is going to have the opposite effect you are looking for.

A guy will “ghost” if he’s trying to get space and needs to pull back in order to deal with whatever personal issues he’s working through whether it’s stress, a family situation, etc.

The good news here is that if he’s ghosting because he’s busy, that means he still likes you and all hope is not lost. Believe it or not but this is actually a very common situation.

He’s going to pull away in order to keep his issues out of the relationship and not bring that negativity into it because he likes you and wants to keep it that way. So, don’t panic and make a snap decision to start demanding answers or explanations. Give him his space and relax while you find something else to focus on in the meantime.

MORE: Why Guys Disappear and How to Deal

#2: He’s Not Interested And Doesn’t Want To Break It To You

Unfortunately, this one does not have a happy outcome like the last reason he might ghost someone.

You’re probably wondering, “Why did he ghost me? Why can’t he just come out and say he doesn’t like me?”

The simple answer is that men don’t like disappointing women. They don’t like doing or saying things they know will upset you and let you down. In fact, and it might not feel right, they just would rather avoid it altogether.

However, don’t jump to this conclusion immediately. He could simply also fall into the category of #1 or #3 which I will cover in just a moment. So, don’t immediately assume that all of a sudden he doesn’t like you.

If it is this reason, you really can’t stop the ghosting. You can’t force someone to have feelings for you. In this situation, it’s best to just let it go and not give it any more of your time or energy. Leave yourself open for someone better to come along.

Do not waste your time overanalyzing “Why did he ghost me? I don’t know what to do when someone ghosts me.”

Leave it be and move on.

MORE: This Is the #1 Reason Guys Are Ghosting

#3: He’s Having Some Kind Of An Emotional Block

What on earth does that mean?!

It basically means that he’s interested in you still but is having some kind of a hiccup or emotional issue blocking him from jumping in and fully committing.

This could be anything from getting back together if you’re his ex, you guys are long distance, or he’s married and fell out of love with his wife.

As you can see, these emotional blocks could come from a lot of different situations. I don’t like to say “it’s complicated” but these scenarios definitely fit that description. The issue is a lack of clarity.

MORE: He Hasn’t Texted Me in 3 Days! What To Do When a Guy Doesn’t Text You

I’m going to give you the text message that will give you that clarity your situation is lacking so that you can bring it into a clear black and white focus and get your answer of “is he into me or not?”

“Is he ghosting me? Should I text a guy who ghosted me? Is there something wrong with me? What did I do wrong?”

Instead of driving yourself crazy with these questions, all you need is a simple text to get your answer. This text will work but only if he’s actually into you.

Text: “I guess our run is over judging by your lack of a reply. It was fun while it lasted. I’ll remember the [insert memory together whether it’s a song or movie or inside joke, etc.]. We can be friends though!”

You can add in an emoji at the end if you really want to keep it lighthearted and not have the text come off as angry or passive aggressive.

The purpose of this text is that it’s going to jolt him out of his current slumber and ghosting status so that he jumps to reply in reason #1 or #3 as we discussed before.

MORE: What To Do When A Guy Who Ghosted You Texts You And Wants You Back

If he’s truly interested, he doesn’t want to lose that romantic connection to you so he will jump into action to keep the relationship from sliding into platonic friend territory. If he doesn’t want to lose you, he will step up and take action.

He will either reply or he’ll continue to ghost you (scenario #2) but either way you will have your answer. You’ll know whether he was ever truly interested or if it was a casual relationship that ultimately wouldn’t have given you the commitment you want.

Now you get to either continue the relationship and see where it leads or you can move on and leave yourself open for someone to come along who will not ghost you. If he has any interest, this text will bring him back to you.

If you feel that this man is the one you want and he’s slipping away it usually means he’s losing interest and his biology is telling him that he needs to pull away so if you’re worried he’s losing interest, or he’s already disappeared but you want him back, you have to read this right now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Is He Losing Interest?Take the Quiz

How To Make Him Realize He’s Losing You: Don’t Be Taken For Granted!

Nick Bastion — Fri, 14 Aug 2020 15:57:25 GMT

Today I want to share with you a very valuable asset in any relationship, especially when you feel like a guy is losing interest in you. I’ll reveal the secrets to turn things around and make him think he’s losing you.

The steps I share will help wake him up to just how valuable having are to him so that he finally realizes what he has with you.

You’ll want to pay close attention as I cover the #1 mistake women make in relationships that causes men to take them for granted, stop putting in effort and not treat them like a priority in their life.

If you want to learn how to make him realize he’s losing you so he starts putting in the effort and treating you with priority, enthusiasm and respect, read on for the clear signs he thinks he’s losing you.

Why Make Him Feel Like He’s Losing You?

Now, the question is, why would you want to make a man feel like he’s losing you? When you put him in this position, you learn if he was ever going to reach for you and now is the time that it will happen.

If you don’t make him feel that he actually could lose you, he will take you for granted.

So how do you make him see you as someone he’s going to lose, how to make him realize he needs you, and how to make him regret taking you for granted?

First of all, you stop showing him that you’ll accept a relationship dynamic that isn’t what you want. Second, you spruce up your life. And finally, you generate what I call “Walking Power”.

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MORE: How To Make Him Worried About Losing You Or Make Him Think He Lost You

1: Stop Demonstrating You’ll Settle

The #1 mistake women make is going along with what you aren’t satisfied with in the hopes he changes one day. Men end up pulling away when you give them everything without him having to give anything back in return.

The simple fact is that you are technically single until you are not. If you’re already acting like his committed girlfriend, then there’s no reason for him to invest any more than he already is (or in this case, isn’t).

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Click here to take our quick (and shockingly accurate) “Is He Losing Interest” Quiz right now and find out if he’s really losing interest in you…

It shows him that you’re not going anywhere any time soon and there’s no real chance of him losing you. If you don’t say no to what you don’t want, he will interpret it that you’re willing to accept anything.

On the other hand, when you have a standard of what you want, you stop giving it your all without him putting in effort on his side as well. He has to step up or risk losing you.

You have to be willing to say “No” to what you don’t want and only then will you discover if the person is actually willing to give you what you want. You will either discover that he doesn’t want to lose you and he is willing to have the kind of relationship you really want or you’ll discover that he’s OK with losing you…

MORE: How to Make Him Afraid of Losing You: 8 Ways to Get Through to Him

Obviously the second scenario is disappointing, but in truth it’s still ultimately a good thing. If you discover a guy is unwilling to have the kind of relationship you want to the point where he’s OK with losing you, that’s something you want to know ASAP. It shows you clearly he was never, ever going to come around in the way you really wanted.

We often make the mistake of saying yes to what we don’t want because we are unwilling or afraid to lose something. However, the truth (that most women learn the hard way) is that saying yes to what you don’t want turns out being the more painful option in the long run and wastes a LOT of time as well.

When you develop the wisdom of knowing to say “NO” to what you don’t want is a huge gift in your love life and life in general. It cuts out the time-wasters and instead leaves you open for the right guy to come along with the relationship you truly desire.

Ultimately this step is simple: don’t say yes to a relationship dynamic that you don’t want. Say no and understand that sometimes the other person isn’t willing to compromise or make it work. Sometimes he has to lose you to realize what he had but by that point you will have already been moved on to better things.

The Key To An Easy Relationship

Now, I want to make one point very clear here. There is ultimately ONE thing that determines if your love life is easy, amazing, and perfect. Or, if this isn’t present in your life, it can lead to problems that otherwise wouldn’t exist.

When you don’t have this secret key in your love life, you will feel like something is missing, you have a constant fear of losing him, everything is confusing and you don’t know how to hold on to him or get the kind of relationship you really want.

The key is to have the right perspective in your love life. When you understand this and have the right perspective, everything becomes crystal clear and makes perfect sense.

You will understand what’s going on in his mind (and oftentimes even better than he understands himself!). You find that it’s easy to spot issues and you intuitively feel that you know exactly what to do in any situation. You naturally do the right thing when you need to.

Your love life just WORKS. You don’t have to think about it, you don’t worry about it, it all makes sense and you’re beyond happy with it.

MORE: How Can You Make Your Guy Realize He Is Losing You?

2: Spruce Up Your Life

What do I mean by this? I’ll explain in just a moment. The important thing about this step is that it gives off an attractive vibe and reels a guy in (or back in if he’s losing interest).

It’s as simple as focusing on yourself and living a full life. This means that you’re happy with yourself, what you’re doing, and giving off a positive energy that attracts men because you’re enjoying your life.

It’s a mistake to think that relationships are supposed to make us happy or even can make us happy. We all need to learn how to be and live happily on our own, even when we’re in a relationship.

You can’t expect anyone else to be able to “make” you happy if you don’t first do it for yourself. The best thing you can do for your love life is learn to be awesome at making yourself happy, keeping yourself inspired, entertaining yourself.

This is called emotionally self-sufficient. I’ll be honest with you, I get bored really easily so this is something I’ve learned to do very well. I have taught myself to be entertained and seek out my own enjoyment rather than relying on it from other people.

This is an incredibly powerful step in becoming the type of woman who naturally attracts men and who they come crawling back to when a man realizes he lost a good woman.

Think about it this way, if you’re miserable in your own life, why would someone be interested in that if you’re not even interested in yourself? The magnetic energy that attracts men is being happy with yourself, relaxed, carefree, and just loving life.

Focus on living life to the fullest doing things that light you up and inspire you. Whether it’s working out, learning a skill, following a hobby, whatever. It doesn’t matter as long as you’re enjoying it and you find it interesting. That energy and enthusiasm will seep into every interaction and people will naturally gravitate to you.

MORE: 10 Things To Do To Make A Guy Realize That He’s Losing You

3: Walking Power

The final step to make him realize he needs you, is to have Walking Power.

If you don’t have walking power, he feels and assumes that you’re going to be around forever and that leads to him taking you for granted.

On the other hand, when you have walking power, it forces him to chase you down and lock you down if he truly doesn’t want to lose you out of his life.

Walking power means you are willing to walk away if he’s unwilling or unable to give you what you want. Instead of sticking around forever hoping and wishing for things to change or for you to somehow get him to “come around” and make things the way you want, you say “No thanks. This isn’t what I want. Wish you the best” and you move on.

Instead of spiraling into feelings of fear and worry, you have a mindset of clarity, personal responsibility and what’s practical. You stop burning up your energy trying to keep things going, keep him interested and forcing things to work.

You stop acting as if ending this relationship would be the end of the world or the end of you.

So how do you do this? You withdraw your attention completely and pull back. Essentially, when he takes you for granted ignore him. You’re not being rude about it or putting on a ticked off attitude with him.

You’re simply letting him feel the reality that you have walking power and you’re not afraid to “lose” him because he doesn’t have you in the first place.

Part of walking power means that you keep your options open (assuming you’re not already in a clearly defined “official” relationship with him). This will activate his need to “lock you down” because now he fears losing you.

When he feels like “oh no, I could lose her to someone else. I didn’t realize how much she meant to me”, he springs into action. Note that this only happens if he was every truly interested. If he doesn’t take any action now, he never will which is a win for you because you will no longer waste your time on him.

Keep Your Options Open

The mistake many women make is closing off options because they think that shows a guy he’s special and therefore they are special and he should pick them. However, all this does is put pressure on him to define something with you and it comes off as desperate and needy when you act like a girlfriend before he’s reached that stage.

Men will lock you down only if they feel like they could lose you. Having that clarity and mindset of being single until he clearly locks you down will only make you more desirable in his eyes.

Now, how do you keep your options open? I don’t mean that you have to go out on dates all the time to show him “hey! I’m single! You better lock me down before one of these guys does!”

You simply leave open the possibility. If someone comes along and asks you out and you’re interested, go for it. Remember, you’re effectively single right now UNTIL you are 100% in a clear, committed relationship. No “it’s complicated”, no “casual”, etc. 100% clear commitment together.

Don’t “choose” him before he “chooses” you. That’s the winning perspective to have to make him think he has lost you in order to get him to step up (if he’s going to).

Remember, the next time you find yourself in a situation where the guy is losing interest or you’re afraid of losing him, these three steps will show you how to make a guy realize he lost you and take the actions necessary to win you or that he’s never going to step up in the first place.

It’s these pivotal moments that determine if your relationship ends in heartbreak or you get to live happily ever after so it’s vitally important that you take the next step and read this right now, because at some point the man you want is going to ask himself: Is this the woman I should commit to for the long term? That answer determines everything… Do you know how men determine if a woman is girlfriend material (the type of woman he commits himself to) or if he sees you as just a fling? If not you need to read this next: The #1 Thing Men Desire In A Woman…

The second problem almost all women experience: At some point he starts to lose interest. He doesn’t call you back or he becomes emotionally closed off. He seems like he’s losing interest or pulling away – do you know what to do? If not you’re putting your relationship and the future of your love life in great danger, read this now or risk losing him forever: If He’s Pulling Away, Do This…

Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest?

Is He Losing Interest?Take the Quiz

In summary…

Stop demonstrating you’ll settle
Have the right perspective in your love life
Be emotionally self-sufficient
Be prepared to walk away
Keep your options open

Is My Ex Thinking About Me During No Contact

Many people who contact me for coaching to get their ex back believe that when their ex broke up with them, a switch was flipped in their ex's head, and their ex is suddenly cold and no longer cares about them.

Unless your ex is suffering from serious mental illness or has genuine/clinical character faults, this is not the case.

It is very possible that your ex still cares about you and thinks about you even when you are not in contact with him or her.

That does not imply you should contact them.

Let me say it again.

Just because you know what your ex is thinking during the no-contact period does not imply you should contact him or her.

You should not do so.

If you have recently been dumped, see "What Do I Do If I Was Just Dumped?" for a full explanation of why this is the case and why you should be encouraged.

It does not imply you should text, phone, or go visit them just because they are thinking about you or your ex is missing you during no contact.

In fact, if you wish to get them back, the reverse is true.

That is covered in the articles mentioned above, but it is not the focus of this essay.

He will undoubtedly think about you since the no-contact time allows him to do so.

Every guy goes through the no contact time in a unique way.

How do you know if he misses you during no contact?

Going through the "no contact" rule after any relationship (no matter how long it lasted) is one of the most essential phases that helps you determine if you should consider continuing in a relationship or moving on.

Yes, it is that time of year when every female is constantly checking her phone, yearning to know what is going on in her man's thoughts.

God knows how difficult this period can be — seconds turn into hours, and overthinking just never ends.

To save yourself all of this bother, search for signals that will tell you if he still misses you or not!

If your mutual acquaintances, his friends, or his family tell you that he can not stop talking about you, you know he misses you terribly and just can not fight the want to have you back.

That is why he would continue to talk about you even when you are not around.

To give you a short refresher, a no contact rule is just a period of time where you purposefully ignore your ex.

He will do it because he can not take his mind off you for even a second!

If he is the reason you two broke up in the first place, apologizing is one of the most essential indicators that he misses you during "no contact."

By apologizing, I do not mean saying "I am sorry" once and expecting you to fall for it right away.

If he keeps apologizing, you know he truly regrets all he is done and really wants you back.

He cares about how you feel, and he is disappointed in himself for not discovering how wonderful of a girlfriend you are sooner.

So, if you have just determined that he still misses you, you can think about giving your relationship another go, but always remember to ask yourself first: "What do I really want?" Nothing should stop you from seeking your happiness if you want the same thing he does! Best wishes!

Even if you have rectified all your flaws and become the most gorgeous person in the world, reconciliation is out of the question for such dumpers.

What are the stages of no contact?

So, presuming that a no contact rule is working on your ex, you are enforcing it, being disciplined, and not making any mistakes in breaching the no contact rule. These are the five steps your ex should go through during a no contact rule.

They are calm and certain in their decision (3 Days To A Week)

Be concerned if they do not hear from you (Week To 2 Weeks)

They get enraged when they realize they are being ignored (2 Weeks To 2.5 Weeks)

Confrontation Over What They have Lost (2.5 Weeks to 3 Weeks)

Possibility of Contact (3 Weeks To 4 Weeks)

I believe I should include in this discussion that an usual no contact rule would run anywhere from 21 to 45 days, depending on the severity of your specific issue. This implies that each ex will react differently to the no contact rule. For example, stage one may last two weeks whereas stage two may last only a few days.

The no contact rule, on the other hand, will aid you in your recovery process since the worst thing you can do is risk sliding back into his toxic web.

Does silence make a man miss you?

Yes, quiet makes a man miss you, especially if he has begun to take you for granted or has lost interest after you have chased him. The dread of loss may cause any man to reconsider his actions, which is why silence is so powerful.

The silent treatment is essentially the same as no contact. Essentially, by cutting off all communication with him, you are attaching repercussions to his decision to reject, ghost, or dump you. Furthermore, it provides him with enough distance to forget about the things that may have turned him off or irritated him.

Instead, he will begin to recall pleasant recollections of you, which will have a beneficial impact on his feelings.

And maybe it is a false hope, and they recognize there is just a slim possibility you will reach out.

Perhaps, after all, God is shielding you from a horrible relationship.

It is extremely probable that they think about you from time to time, depending on the relationship you shared.

The dumper) usually feels strength (and often relief) at first, but after a few days or weeks of no contact, your ex is likely to develop feelings of doubt in their decision, missing you, fear that you have moved on, and confusion that you have not chased, begged, and pleaded as most people do after being dumped.

It may offer you with some immediate enjoyment, but he will not remain.

How long does it take for an ex to miss you with no contact?

Given that you should not be contacting or monitoring him, it is difficult to point to particular evidence that it is functioning on his end. But first, I will go into the broad psychology of how it works in five steps.

I began to listen to my favorite music and eat my favorite meals.

1. Solace

Your ex will experience immediate relief from the split during the first few days of no contact, which will last around 1-2 weeks.

2. Inventiveness

Then they worry why you have not contacted them, or what you could be doing instead. His interest will grow with each passing day that you do not talk to him.

3. rage

This is not always the case and is dependent on the individual. However, if your ex's interest has grown, he will begin to question if you are with another person at this point. Jealousy may arise. In the aftermath of a breakup, this is generally where rebound relationships emerge.

4. Befuddlement

Your ex's imagination has run wild over what you may be up to the point that he is completely fascinated with you. Even if he is in a rebound relationship, here is when the bubble may shatter for him, and he sees this new person as unrealistic – and perhaps annoying.

5th. Fear

This is the ultimate step in which any course of action is decided. Your ex is terrified that he has lost you for good. Between breaking up with someone and being broken up with, this is the stage at which the initiator begins to feel the same way you did at the start.

Will no contact make him move on?

If he does not hear from you for several weeks or months, he may forget about you. Instead, use my variation of the no-contact rule to improve your chances tremendously.

I present you with the finest of both worlds. Contact, but not just any contact. But, because of my love for him, he wanted to see me, and we did see one other a few times after that.

The 30-day rule following a split The no contact rule is straightforward: you are effectively creating a chasm between you and your ex.

What he's thinking during no contact?

So, what is he thinking when there is no contact?

He is perplexed, but in a pleasant way. He is thinking about you, all the hows and whys and what occurred to transform you so drastically.

He is certain that you have abandoned him thus early on, and he cannot believe it. The less he knows about you, the more intrigued he will be by you.

This is a strong indication that the no-contact rule is effective on him (assuming you want him to think about you).

Will no contact work if he lost feelings?

Yes, it is the solution. Your ex misses you in the same manner he did when he was in a relationship with you... Inconsistently..... You already know this, but the goal of no contact is to get out of a toxic relationship and avoid being triggered by someone who has caused you harm so that you may recover and move on.

How do I know my ex is thinking about me?

When your ex discusses their future with you, it is an indication that they are considering reconciliation. Exes always speak about what went wrong after a breakup and try to blame one other for the breakdown of the relationship.

You can tell the difference between someone who sincerely wants to figure out what went wrong in order to enhance future relationships and someone who simply wants to blame their ex in order to feel better.

If your ex is striving to better themselves in areas that may have caused the split, it is a strong indicator that they want to get back together. If your ex has been actively attempting to conceal their dating life from you, this might be a hint that they wish to rekindle their relationship.

They will not care if you discover out about their dating life unless reconciliation is on their mind. When your ex starts reminiscing about the wonderful times you had, it might be a hint that they want to get back together. It is safe to say they miss you and the enjoyment you had throughout your partnership.

Additional Resources:

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