This is what happens, I sit down to blog and the baby needs his Mama.  I don’t really mind, I just miss “me” time.  But I love “Eli and Mama” time so much and know that these sweet moments are fleeting.

This morning I had a bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios, they were really yummy.

Anyway.  Things with Eli have been extremely difficult.  (I started writing this over an hour ago.)  Brian is walking him around right now crying (Eli is crying, not Brian) because I need a break.  I’m taking him back to the doctor in 25 minutes.

Hoping they find an answer because little tiny baby boy is not happy or comfortable.

But he is cute.

Love you all.

I hope you had a great week.  This past weekend we visited a water park for three days, it was great fun and there was TONS of play but not a lot of pictures taking because of the water and also the lighting was TRICKY.  But I did my best.

Here’s Noah, playing with water.  Check out my settings, this was a serious low-light situation!  I wish I had lowered my aperture to 1.8.  Dangit.

F 2.5 | SS 1/60 | ISO 1250

This was near a set of doors at the waterpark.  Anna is a serious water park junkie going on every single water slide available many times.  She has an adventurer’s spirit.  I love it.

Here she is in between slides.

F 2.0 | SS 1/400 | ISO 500

And this is what’s typically covering my kitchen floors.  Well, this and cheerios, blueberries and spaghetti.

F 4.0 | SS 1/100 | ISO 1250

Now it’s your turn!

But first, remember these most important guidelines.

1.  Anyone can join in on the challenge at anytime.
2.  Please make sure the photos you use were taken for the challenge, meaning do not search your archives for an appropriate photo.  The goal of You Capture is to get you out taking photos each week!
3.  Use YOUR photos.
4.  When linking up, only link to your You Capture blog post, not your main blog URL.   (incorrect links will be deleted.)
5.  You MUST link back to You Capture in your post.
6.  I encourage you to visit other participants and leave comments.  This is a great way to meet new friends!

{more You Capture info can be found here.}

Summer.

Capture what summer means to you before it’s over.  Is it a big bowl of watermelon?  Sweat dripping down your face?  The beach?  Fireflies?  Go out of your way to capture what you think of when you think of summer!

Happy Capturing!

I’m not even that picky about ice cream.  Give it to me straight up or on the rocks, in a waffle cone or in a bowl, covered in hot caramel?  Sign me up.

I think it’s something I’m passionate about, I think ice cream should be a part of everyone’s lives.  This Friday, I’m hosting a 31 Gifts Party (live in my area and want to come, email me!).  I’m having an ice cream bar.

Because THAT MAKES SENSE.

Anyway, this past week was really hard.  Nothing went right, I felt like I was constantly fighting with my kids and my husband.  My heart felt broken, my spirit; shattered.

And on Saturday, I didn’t have any ice cream.  For the first time in weeks.

I laid in bed, after crying into my pillow for a long time that night, thinking about how hard life is sometimes.  I realized I had gone ice cream-less all day.

I cried even harder.

{woe is me.  I know.}

While tears fell on my pillow, I prayed (begged) to God for grace the following day.  I asked Him to give me strength, to be a bigger person, to not always WANT, to GIVE more.  I also asked for a way for me to be ME again.  To be happy and in love, not just with my kids but also with my husband.  I asked Him to help me to be less angry but I also asked that my family GIVE more, too.  (it’s only fair.)

I can’t say everything is solved.  Because, my goodness, it’s not.  But the tears stopped and I’ve felt more happiness than I have in a long time.  And not just because of decisions and prayers on my end, but also decisions and prayers from those I live with, it’s a work in progress.

On Monday and Tuesday, I made up for it and had ice cream twice.  (I also felt and saw a whole lot of love and smiles, too.)

Last week, Stephanie, Lovelyn, Rhonda and I all met for ice cream at a local parlor.  Our kids were so hyper and honestly, driving us crazy.  And then Gray fell and lost his ice cream.  He was so sad.  But he sat down and continued to eat his chocolate waffle cone despite the tears and the sadness.  This little four year old taught me a serious lesson.

Some moments are bad, some are good, either way, things are better with ice cream.

***

This week, I lost 1.6 pounds.

Back to picking outfits for the day when I love the way I look, I’ve decided to go with beachwear this week.  This is me.

I like it.

Thankfully he’s feeling better.

I’ll be back later.  I PROMISE.

I loved this week’s challenge mainly because we could shoot whatever we wanted!  My family and I are going on a little trip next week, I’m hoping to sit and go through everyone’s entries as I lounge in a hotel room not worrying about laundry and mopping!  I CAN’T WAIT.

Here are my shots.  I just love the way you can change the photo to black and white and it instantly changes the mood of the photo.  Makes it more emotional, don’t you think?

This one was taken on a Sunday drive through the country.

Here are my two oldest babies.  Yes.  They are babies.

And here is yet another baby from my newborn shoot yesterday.  He is perfectly divine and I am finding that I REALLY love doing newborn shoots.

and I’m also finding that I want to have 9,000 more babies.  True story.

Now it’s your turn to share!

But first, remember these most important guidelines.

1.  Anyone can join in on the challenge at anytime.
2.  Please make sure the photos you use were taken for the challenge, meaning do not search your archives for an appropriate photo.  The goal of You Capture is to get you out taking photos each week!
3.  Use YOUR photos.
4.  When linking up, only link to your You Capture blog post, not your main blog URL.   (incorrect links will be deleted.)
5.  You MUST link back to You Capture in your post.  This is a big one, friends.  Many offenders last week!

{more You Capture info can be found here.}

PLAY.

Happy Capturing, friends!

But now it’s late because I am having serious technical difficulties… and now I have a hungry baby …

Wish me luck – I’m working on it!

DANGIT.

And then, this morning, Anna was hugging me and asked me if I had a baby in my belly.

DANGIT.

I’m hoping this next week will be a bit better.  I have our meals planned out and shopped for which means no quick trips to Taco Bell.

DANGIT.

I have to run out the door for a newborn shoot with Megan’s baby, (she had her baby!)  I’m leaving Elijah for the longest I’ve ever left him which is leaving my heart feeling sad and confused.

So, I figured I should post a picture of him.  Don’t you think?

My friend, Keli, made this blanket for Eli.  I love it so bad.

I called my sister and told her.   We realized how much sense it made since I was with her the weekend before and I actually took a nap.  Back then I never napped.

I was going to wait to tell my Mom.  I sat down later that evening and figured out the due date and sure enough, the due date was July 20th, 2008.

Her birthday.

I knew I simply had to tell her.  I picked up the phone and told her.  This is just one more reason why James and Jake are so incredibly special.

Last year on her birthday, we told her I was pregnant with Elijah.  (we had just found out the day before.)

She opened her card, read and then cried, saying that was what she wished for.

Fast forward to this year, TODAY, her birthday, Elijah is here and she’s so in love with him.

While we were in the hospital after he was born and those first few weeks when all he did was cry, my Mom was always there, helping, in any way she could.

We are so grateful for that and for her.

Please head over to my Mom’s blog and wish her a very, very Happy Birthday!  I would love to flood her with wishes for a beautiful day!

My Mom and Eli – March 30, 2010

We love you, Mom!  We are so happy to be celebrating you today!

Sometimes, when he and I are just staring at each other, which we do, a lot, he reaches up and touches my face.

He smiles.

I melt.

On Saturday, it was just he and I at home.  I had just finished feeding him, I was helping him to sit up in my lap.  He looked directly at my James and Jake necklace, he reached over and held it in his hands.

He didn’t let go.

I wish I could tell you what that felt like to me.  Like some sort of heart bursting, full circle, heavenly, torturous, loving, painful moment that I will remember for the rest of my life.

I sometimes wonder how close James and Jake really are to us.  Like, did they gently lift his arm and guide him to that  necklace.  ”Here. Mommy will like it if you do this.”

We’ve been doing landscape work in our yard.  We have two bricks with their names printed on them.  I moved them and then picked Eli up.  I held him like you hold a baby.  His eyes sparkled from the bright sky’s reflection.  I asked him if he knew James and Jake.  He just stared at me.  I said “what were they like?”  and he laughed.

I think that means they are funny.

Two years ago tomorrow is their due date.  They should be turning two, instead we’ve been living without them for over two years.  In a strange way, I feel incomplete but on the other hand, I feel so complete.  I feel like I am the lucky one who gets to call James and Jake hers.

They are.

Mine.

Forever.

I’ll always be reaching for them and I know they are reaching for us.  I believe, wholly, that we will always meet in the middle, spiritually.

Which is beautiful and perfect and makes being their Mom…awesome.

And just in case you want to see what Eli looked like fifteen minutes ago.  This photo was taken with my iPhone.  I love him.  Like, a lot.

(ignore my bra strap.  That’s an order!)

Today, Brian has an all day school function in Chicago and Anna has an all day birthday party, so I’ll just be hanging out with my boys which I love.  I can’t decide to what to do.  Should I stay home and clean? or go grocery shopping where Noah will be just like his father and ask me if what I’m putting in my cart is “on my list” and he’ll be sure to point out how much “money I’m wasting.”

Either way, I don’t care.  I just want to hear Noah tell Eli how “cute and fresh” he is.

He’ll already do anything for his brother.

Even wear socks on his hands to entertain him.

(by the way, this is how I shower…Noah truly IS Eli’s entertainer.)

Happy Saturday!