I’m in Winnipeg today for my Father’s funeral. As the family has been remembering and planning a tribute, I have been struck at how difficult it is to summarize the life of a close family member into just a few minutes. We’ve prepare the remarks as a family and that makes things easier, from the perspective of the mechanics of the writing process.

I first post this a couple of years ago, but here it is again, a simple template for giving a eulogy.

• Introduce yourself and your connection to the deceased. “For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Ian and Mavis was my aunt.”
• Briefly summarize the life of the deceased:
  • When they were born
  • Where they were born
  • Growing up
  • Marriage, family, etc
• Briefly summarize the accomplishments of the deceased:
  • Education
  • Skills
  • Career
  • Hobbies
• Share happy memories. Mix in tasteful humorous memories, but be careful. Only talk about the good times if the final years have been sad. For example, cite a characteristic expression or an activity that everyone will recognize.
• Talk about something(s) you learned from this person:
  • Their motivation or passion
  • How they changed someone’s life
• Tell why you’ll always remember the person.
• End with a final goodbye.

Keep it flowing. A eulogy should have a beginning, a middle, and an end. It should have one theme. It shouldn’t jump around from topic to topic, but rather stay tightly focused. In other words, while the occasion is sad, a eulogy is still a speech. Treat it like one.

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I’m not talking about a Christmas without snow; though that’s what Christmas looks like in many parts of the World. I’m talking about being environmentally conscious during the holiday season.

There are many ways to cut your environmental footprint this holiday season. Here are a few suggestions to get you started:

Gifts

• Try flea markets, antique jewellery and thrift shops for gifts.
• Give local, organic hampers, locally-brewed beer or organic wine.
• Make preserves, baking, flavoured oils or chocolates.
• Treat people to entertainment or sporting events.
• Give gift certificates for dining out.
• Re-use bags when buying presents.
• Avoid battery-powered gifts. Get equipment for outdoor activities instead.

Food and drink

• Buy seasonal, local produce and loose not pre-packed vegetables.
• Avoid using disposable plates and cups.
• Don’t cook more food than you need.
• Run the dishwasher only when it is full.
• Compost vegetable leftovers.
• Re-use and recycle aluminium foil.
• Donate time to a local non-profit food program.

Trees, cards and wrapping

• Recycle any cards you receive.
• Send E-cards.
• Recycle wrapping paper or use other colourful paper for wrapping: such as colour comics.
• Wrap gifts in reusable cloth bags.
• Choose cards and wrapping which contain recycled paper.
• Recycle real trees.
• Buy a fake tree made from recycled material.
• Replace your holiday lights with LEDs.
• Make your own decorations from popcorn, dried cranberries or pine cones from your yard.

Do you have other suggestions or ideas? If so, post them in the comment section.

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November 29 in the start of the Advent season. December 1st is the day people starting popping the doors on Advent calendars and eating the little chocolates inside. The following on-line advent calendars won’t produce any confections, but you will be able to mark the passage of the next 25 days. Some of these calendars are based on the liturgical calendar.

• http://www.smile-a-day.com/advent-calendar.shtml
• http://www.smmp.com/Advent/Advent.htm
• http://www.woodlands-junior.kent.sch.uk/customs/Xmas/calendar/
• http://www.cartoonchurch.com/advent/ (This calendar is from 2005, but the cartoons are still funny.)
• http://www.boowakwala.com/calendar/online-advent-calendar.html

You can even make Your Own:

• Here are PDF templates for an Advent Calendar that you can put together http://www.janbrett.com/christmas_treasury_advent_calendar.htm
• eHow.com has instructions for making an Advent Calendar using a bath towel and brown paper bags: http://www.ehow.com/how_11216_make-advent-calendar.html
  

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When we come to the end of a project or activity, it is common to review the outcomes. It can be very easy to consider these outcomes from a negative perspective, what went wrong rather than what went right. Next time you need to review a project, try looking at its successful outcomes. At the very least, try balancing each negative consideration with a positive.

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Happy, fun, merry—hopefully these words come to mind when you think of holiday festivities. For some, anxiety, dread and grief seem to pop up. When family and friends gather, it isn’t always picture perfect. Being prepared is the best way to manage relationships and keep the peace. Ease stress, share the load and learn to enjoy your family during the holidays with a little spirit and a lot of patience.

Know what to expect. Does Aunt Martha always bug you about getting married? Will your brother once again brag about his high-paying job? Plan your response in advance to situations that cause your blood to boil. Also, think of ways to handle conflict among other family members. Change the subject, crack a joke or have your partner step in to cool the situation down if you start to lose control or foresee a big fight. Practice your reactions beforehand with trusted loved ones so you’re not taken aback on the big day.

Be realistic. Dreaming about the party going off without a hitch creates expectations that probably won’t be met. Maybe your kid sister is always gossiping and your cousins never get along. Why should that change now? Accept your relatives the way they are and explore new strategies to cope with personalities or characteristics that conflict with your own. Play with the kids when adults are too much to handle or find friendly ways to end conversations: “Yes Louise, I think you are the best cook in the family. Can you pass me some more of that delicious pie?”

Find the spirit. The holiday season is a time for kindness and friendship. Do your best to hammer that home. How? Try to talk squabbling family members into a truce before the party. Give a speech to remind everyone how much you appreciate and love them. Play Santa at the party to get a good chuckle. Make your loved ones laugh and remind them of the importance of family. Hopefully this will encourage them to stop being naughty and start being nice.

Include everyone. If you have different ethnicities or religious groups within your family, try to include everyone. Talk beforehand about the rituals or traditions everyone would most like to see and share at the party. Whether it’s prayer, gift-giving, songs or a candle lighting ceremony, including all family members gives them a sense of belonging. Assure loved ones that they don’t need to participate in any activity that makes them uncomfortable.

Share the work. The host has the added stress and tension of preparing food, cleaning the house and setting up games whilst trying to work and care for immediate family. This can lead to anger and resentment. Rather than playing the martyr yourself or watching someone else do all the work, have everyone pitch in. Make dinner a potluck, volunteer to help clean and decorate, stay late to tidy up or designate family members to do different jobs. Another great way to keep family festivities exciting is to rotate hosts each year.

While our image of the holidays is one of peace, love and harmony, the reality can be much different. In fact, most families have their fair share of disagreements, especially when they’re all together in one place. Prepare yourself for uncomfortable or irritating situations beforehand, help raise the white flag on any long-standing arguments and have everyone pitch in. Then sit back, relax and enjoy the festivities with the people you love, faults and all.

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I don’t know what it’s like where you live, but around here, major retailers are already stocking Christmas items. It will only be a couple of weeks before advertisers start filling our heads with “visions of sugar plums.”

Christmas is associated with love, joy and goodwill toward all people. Yet we allow it to become the most stressful time of the year. By the time December 26 has arrived, we’re ready to ignore Christmas for the rest of our lives.

In an attempt to head off the holiday hassle this year, here are a few tips on creating a personal holiday checklist to make the holidays go as smoothly as possible.

Set Limits

Establish some boundaries before you get caught up in having so much to do you can’t enjoy the season. Figure out what parts of the celebration are important to you and set your plan and priorities.

• If spending time with family and friends is key, don’t overbook your schedule with every concert or play that is running.
• Set limits for gift giving and spending. Perhaps you can choose names for a gift exchange, rather than buying for every member of the family, every year.
• Maybe giving back to the community is important. Contact agencies early to volunteer.

You have to have your priorities set, before you can create a plan for a stress-free holiday.

Make planning annual

Christmas is a big time of year for many, yet they leave the preparation to the last minute. Make the holiday planning process ongoing.

• When you pack up your decoration at the end of the season, note the items you would like or need to replace for next year. Save money buying them at post-Christmas clearance sales.
• Keep a running wish list of gifts for people to whom you give gifts. Buying gifts throughout the year lets you cash in on sales as well as reducing the last-minute rush to shop.
• Buy gifts early on-line.
• Have one place in your home to store all your Christmas items so they are easy to find.

Get ready to entertain

If you are planning to do some entertaining over the holidays, map out a plan. Work out on paper what you want to do, when and for how many.

• Stock up on non-perishables and frozen items early. Then you’ll only need to worry about perishable items at the last minute.
• Set your menu early and develop time lines for preparation. Some baked goods can be prepared three months in advance and frozen. Other items can be prepared days in advance and re-heated on party day.
• Make party planning a group effort; get others involved in the preparations; make the dinner pot-luck.

Do it yourself

The holiday season it a great time to exhibit your artsy-crafty side. You may not be able to hand-make everything, but look for places where you can save money and give a personal touch to the season. You don’t have to have too much innate talent to use card stock and software to make your own Christmas greetings

• decorations for the house
• greeting cards and wrapping paper
• hostess gifts to give while visiting others
• baking
• Christmas gifts

One of my favourite Christmas activities is to wander through a shopping mall a week or so before December 25^th. I like to spend a bit of time being caught up in the hustle and bustle of people frantically trying to get their holiday together. Meanwhile, I’m gloating to myself just a little bit knowing that with a little planning, my celebration is under control.

What are your ideas for planning and preparation to reduce your holiday stress? Post them in the comments below.

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Today is Remembrance Day.

• Remembrance Day 2 Learn about how the first Remembrance Day in Canada came to be and who initiated this holiday.
• Veterans Affairs Canada This site is the Canadian Veterans Affairs web site. You will find Books of Remembrance here, songs that were popular during war time, information on WWI and WWII and so much more on the history of war and Remembrance Day.
• Veterans Affairs/Anciens Combattants Canada At this site you can find real time audio recollections from war vets, listen to war time songs, and learn about the war years.
• Remembrance and Poppy This site has downloadable material for students and teachers to find out about Remembrance Day. Topics are: Story of Remembrance, All About Poppies, Activity Guides for teachers and speakers and student info.
• Remembrance Day – November 11 Learn about John McCrae, the author of the poem In Flanders Fields and get the words to Bryan Adams song, Remembrance Day.
• The Story of Remembrance Learn the importance of Remembrance Day and why we wear a poppy.
• The War Amps – Les Amput .s de guerre This site gives history of the War Amps of Canada. It can be viewed in English or French.

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• Lest we forget
• Tribute to World War I dead arrives in Toronto

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Image via Wikipedia

Somewhere around the end of November, you start hearing holiday greetings. Whether it’s merry Christmas or happy holidays, people see the season as a time of Peace on Earth and Goodwill toward men. Unfortunately, a lot of people also see the as a time of spend, spend, spend.

It gets to the point where “Christmas is too commercialized” sounds like a seasonal greetings. Ironically, the same people who complain about the commercialization of Christmas often brag of the amount they spend on gifts

If you find you are getting caught up in spending too much and want to change your focus this Christmas, here are 10 simple things you can do to “take back”the holiday.

1. Make it yourself. If you have a hobby or skill you have developed over time, turn it into gifts. Not only will be appreciate the personal touch, but often the quality of home-made goods exceeds those that are mass produced. Whether knitting or baking or woodworking, there are loads of ways you can create gifts.
2. Appreciate the gifts your children make. Get an early start on instilling the true value of the season. Let them learn from your example. Treat the gifts they make with excitement so they don’t feel homemade is a second-rate gift idea.
3. Connect with family and friends. Make time for those you have avoided or neglected throughout the year.
4. Be a cheerful recipient. If your sister-in-law insists on cooking Christmas dinner; accept and say thank you. Christmas should not be a “me” time.
5. Entertain neighbours and workmates, etc. We feel obligated to buy gifts for people we rarely connect with through the year. This year, invite them over for dinner; organise a potluck supper; have a casual party.
6. Speak up for the values of Christmas. Wish others a merry Christmas and peace on earth and do it sincerely.
7. Donate to a charity in someone’s name. Instead of buying a gift, give that money where it is needed.
8. Make gifts and care packages for those in need. Seniors, street people, those in hospital and many more could use something special at this time of year.
9. Watch classic Christmas movies and television. Scrooge, A Charlie Brown Christmas and many others reinforce what Christmas is all about.
10. Take some quiet time. Make Advent a season of preparation: mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Don’t cram your Calendar so full that you have no time for reflection.

Christmas is only as commercial as you make it. You choose what Christmas means to you. If you want, you can take back Christmas.

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Toastmasters International has put together a list of ten tips that will help improve your public speaking skills.

1. Know your material. Pick a topic you are interested in. Know more about it than you include in your speech.
2. Use personal stories and conversational language – that way you won’t easily forget what to say.
3. Practice. Practice. Practice! Rehearse out loud with all equipment you plan on using. Revise as necessary.
4. Know the room. Arrive early, walk around the speaking area and practice using the microphone and any visual aids.
5. Know the audience. Greet some of the audience members as they arrive. It’s easier to speak to a group of friends than to strangers.
6. Relax. Ease tension by doing exercises. Transform nervous energy into enthusiasm.
7. Visualize yourself giving your speech. Imagine yourself speaking, your voice loud, clear and confident. Visualize the audience clapping – it will boost your confidence.
8. Realize that people want you to succeed. Audiences want you to be interesting, stimulating, informative and entertaining. They don’t want you to fail.
9. Don’t apologize for any nervousness or problem – the audience probably never noticed it.
10. Concentrate on the message – not the medium. Focus your attention away from your own anxieties and concentrate on your message and your audience.

For further reading:

• 10 ways to improve your public speaking
• 20 plus tips for improving your speaking performance

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One of the best ways to reduce the stress of holiday planning is to spread it over a number of months or even throughout the year. Even if you have done nothing else so far, you can relieve some of December’s pressure by putting these on your November to-do list.

• Shop for clothing, accessories, hostess gifts, etc. for any holiday events events.
• Buy tickets to seasonal entertainment.
• Mail gifts to friends living abroad: the sooner the better. (Hopefully you have them bought by now.)
• Check dishes and glassware for holiday entertaining.
• Make a shopping list for entertaining and decorating.
• Plan your December menus.
• Stock up on all non-perishable grocery items needed through to the beginning of January.
• Put up the outdoor lights. (You don’t have to turn them on until December.)
• Check you ornaments and decorations and see if you need to replace or add to what you have.
• De-clutter the house for seasonal decorating.
• Create a master schedule of all events and activities for the season and post it on the refrigerator. Include non-holiday special events.
• Schedule down time.
• Leave a buffer of time so you can respond to spontaneous activities.
• Stock up on batteries, memory storage, cables, etc. for capturing seasonal memories
• Start your Christmas baking with those items which can be frozen for 2–3 months.

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