Here we are at the end of August, two-thirds of the way through 2010. In no time, we’ll be into the annual holiday season. I’m already seeing daily search traffic looking for Christmas ideas. Here are links to Christmas and holiday related posts at Ian’s Messy Desk.

• Start Your Christmas Planning in August – Organized Christmas has a Holiday Grand Plan. By breaking down all the tasks needed to clean and organize the house and prepare for the holidays, and dividing them into weekly assignments, the Holiday Grand Plan will help you reach the season calm, centered and ready to celebrate from a clean and organized home.
• Christmas Carols Song Lyrics With Guitar Chords – Consistently the most popular seasonal post at Ian’s Messy Desk. A few years ago, I compiled a list of links to Christmas carols and song lyrics with guitar chords. I like to refresh the list each year to keep it active.
• How to Write a Christmas or Holiday Card – Writing Christmas cards should be fun, not daunting. Yet, we put off sending cards, we sit for hours try to decide what to say and wish we could just send a quick text message. Writing the perfect thought or holiday letter will make your Christmas greetings memorable. What you write should reflect you, your family and the spirit of the season.
• 10 Simple and Inexpensive Christmas Gift Ideas – Gifts for the teacher, babysitter, hockey coach, or for the hosts of your holiday parties, don’t have to be expensive. Here are 10 gift ideas in small packages.
• A Christmas Planning Checklist for November – One of the best ways to reduce the stress of holiday planning is to spread it over a number of months or even throughout the year. If you didn’t start planning Christmas in August, you can relieve some of December’s pressure by putting these on your November to-do list.
• 10 Tips for Taking Back Christmas – If you find you are getting caught up in spending too much and want to change your focus this Christmas, here are 10 simple things you can do to “take back”the holiday.
• A Christmas Planning Checklist – In an attempt to head off the holiday hassle this year, here are a few tips on creating a personal holiday checklist to make the holidays go as smoothly as possible.
• Advent Calendar Resources On-line – November 28 marks the start of the Advent season. December 1st is the day people starting popping the doors on Advent calendars and eating the little chocolates inside. These on-line advent calendars won’t produce any confections, but you will be able to mark the passage of the next 25 days.
• How to have a green Christmas – I’m not talking about a Christmas without snow; though that’s what Christmas looks like in many parts of the World. I’m talking about being environmentally conscious during the holiday season.
• This Christmas Give the Gift of Time – Retailers would have us believe we need to spend, spend, spend to avoid comparisons to Ebenezer Scrooge. However, we can give a gift that requires no cash outlay, but is priceless.
• Christmas Organizing Tip – Share the Load – If you want to relieve some of the pressure of holiday preparation, ask for help.

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Stop the negative talk

We tend to tell ourselves more negative things than positive. With regular practice, you can identify negative thoughts and self-talk and then take steps to change them to positive thoughts, before they get a chance to interfere with your choices and actions. Each time you find yourself thinking negatively, you can say ’stop’ and force yourself to rationally replace that thought with something positive and helpful. The exercise will feel unnatural at first but the more you do it, the more it will become an unconscious habit. As your faith in yourself and your qualities increases, so will your positive thoughts.

Stop complaining

Instead of focusing on the problems, look for solutions.

Stop exaggerating

I’ve said it a million times, don’t exaggerate! How often have you said something like, “I have a ton of work to do this week?” Even if you process 1,000 sheets of page this week, you won’t have done much more than ten pounds worth of work. Keep a reasonable perspective on the things you have to do.

Stop “should-ing” all over yourself

Have you ever noticed how many times you say the word should? Should is one of the most commonly used words for some people. I should call so-and-so. I should go to the gym. I should take another courses. I should redecorate my living room. Shoulds show up all the time. And most of us aren’t even aware that they are there.

Start paying attention to when and how often you say the word should. Anytime you find yourself doing something because you feel you should, explore why you are doing it. Say no to the shoulds and replace them with things you want to do. Banish the word should from your vocabulary.

Stop worrying

The problem with too much worrying is that it spoils our day and robs us from living an enjoyable life. Since sometimes we cannot but entertain some worries in our mind, you can then apply some of the tips that can help you overcome them and be able to enjoy your day.

Once you start worrying about something it can quickly grow.  It can often be challenging to keep small worries from becoming huge.  One way to achieve this is working out the real odds.  For example if you worry a great deal about flying, know that plans land and take off safely, every second somewhere in the world.  Flying is actually very safe.  I wouldn’t suggest looking up any statistics about a current worry, as that is only going to feed it.  But after that worry is put to rest, it can be helpful for next time if you know that the chance of that thing actually happening is quite low.

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Do you want to know how to remember names and faces? What would it be like to never forget a person’s name again?

Does this sound like a pipe dream? Not of you use Gary Small’s Look/Snap/Connect technique.

“The major reason we forget people’s names, sometimes only seconds after being introduced, is that we are not truly paying attention,” says Small, author of the Memory Bible, The: An Innovative Strategy For Keeping Your Brain Young.

The next time you meet someone, use these steps to remember their name:

Look – Take a few seconds to identify particular features. Rather than noticing hair colour, take note of a freckle on the tip of the nose, an eyebrow that arches higher than the other, or a pointy chin.

Snap – Take a mental snapshot of the person’s face. Choose the distinguishing feature you identified in the “Look” step and link it to the person’s name.

Connect – Take your “snap” of the face and connect it to the name. Let the name invoke a visual image you can link with the person’s face. Small uses the example: If Mrs. Beatty has broad lips, imagine Warren Beatty kissing those lips. The process of thinking up the images and making the connection will fix them into your memory.

This technique may not give you a photographic memory, but it will solve the problem of how to remember names and faces?

“What’s his name?” will no longer be a part of your vocabulary.

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I posted this about a year ago and it is appropriate to bring forward.

It is hard to believe, but here we are at the end of August. Around here, kids will be heading back to school next week. In fact, schools on alternate schedules have started back already.

What ever you do, don’t let your kids catch you reading this article. They don’t want to think about school a day earlier than necessary.

Here are some tips to prepare home and family for getting into the back-to-school groove.

1. Have a Centralized Calendar.
   It’s not only back to school, it’s also back to sports, back to scouts, back to PTA, back to choir, etc. A family calendar can help you track what is going on for all family members. Keep it in a centralized location where family members can easily add their events. You’ll know at a glance what is going on any given day.
2. Get the schedule working early.
   Don’t wait for the first day of school to make the adjustments to the household schedules. Start easing family into the school-year routine a couple of weeks before school starts. Start giving children their school year bed and wake times. Adjust mealtime routines to match school year routines.
   Check before you shop.
3. August is the second-biggest sales month for clothing retailers. Are you ready to tackle cloth shopping? Be prepared before you head out. Assess what the kids have, what they need, what can be handed down and what needs to be thrown out. Then, with list in hand, hit the stores.
4. Round up your papers.
   Eliminate last-minute searches. Determine what documents you need for school registration. Call the school before registration day to find out what paperwork will be required—then find it!
5. Organize your mornings.
   How would you characterize school mornings in your home; crazy and chaotic or calm and cheerful? Plan your morning routines the evening before.
6. Tighten up current household systems.
   Back-to-school adds a whole new layer of commitments and stresses on top of the things that regularly need to be done. Take some time to evaluate your household routines: cleaning, meal preparation, etc. Make sure that these are being handled as efficiently as possible.

Attention to these few things can make a big difference as you swing into the school year.

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A. Emotional

• Anxiety
• Irritability
• Anger
• Depression

B. Congnitive

• Difficulties concentrating
• Memory problems
• Confusion

C. Physical

• Sleep disturbance
• Fatigue
• Headaches
• Change in appetite
• Muscle tension
• Gastrointestinal problems
• Weight change
• Decreased sexual interest

D. Behavioral

• Increased substance (i.e., alcohol, drug) use
• Social isolation
• Conflict with others

These symptoms are your body’s way of telling you something is wrong and you need to pay attention to them. Symptoms that are ignored ultimately lead to much more serious health problems. To reduce both stress related symptoms and the chances of developing these serious stress related disorders, try the following strategies.

Coping Strategies:

Deep Breathing – When you are under stress, you tend to breathe both more quickly and more shallow. Taking slow deep breaths will induce the relaxation response. Breathe in and out to the count of four or five and you will begin to feel a sense of relaxation fill your mind and your body.

Other Relaxation Techniques – These include progressive muscle relaxation, autogenic training, deep muscle relaxation, imagery training, biofeedback, and self-hypnosis.

Develop a Calm Focus – Focus on something in your environment that is pleasant, beautiful, or calming. This could be something visual such as a painting, tree, or flower or it could be something that stimulates your other senses such as a pleasant smell or taste. Experience fully whatever it is you are focusing on.

Focus on the Positive – A lot of stress is created by focusing on the negative in the world around you or in your own life. Train yourself to look for the positive. For example, take inventory each day of what went right, rather than focusing on the problems you had or mistakes you made.

Reduce or Eliminate Stimulants – Two of the most commonly used stimulants are caffeine and nicotine. If stress is an issue for you, then reducing or eliminating these substances from your body will go a long way toward reducing your stress level.

Be Realistic – Lots of stress comes from trying to control events or people you can’t control, or by not controlling those things within your control. If the stressor is under your control, develop a plan to overcome it. If it is not, learn to accept it rather than experience the frustration comes from trying to change it.

Positive Affirmations – What we say to ourselves has an impact on our stress levels and our perception of being able to cope. Change those aspects self-talk based on fear or anxiety rather than fact. Replace them with realistic self-statements and practice daily positive affirmations.

Live in the Now – Much of our stress is created by living in the past or worrying about the future. Develop a ”one-day-at-a-time” mind set, since you can only really control the present anyway.

Keep a Journal – Instead bottling up your feelings and thoughts express them in a journal, which will provide a sense of relief and could serve as the first step in a more problem-solving process to resolving underlying issues.

Laugh – Laughter is considered one of the best medicines for stress. Seek out humorous books, TV shows, movies or life situations that will bring humor into your life. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself and your mistakes.

Get Support – One of the best ways to combat stress is to develop and rely on a support system. Whether family, relatives or friends, talking to any of these people is a great way to minimize stress.

Health Eating – Although most people today realize that our diet has a big impact on our physical health, fewer people are aware of how much it affects our resistance to stress. Eating a healthy and well balanced diet is like giving ourselves an immunity to stress.

Manage Your Time – A major source of stress for many people is being over-committed limiting the time available for rest and relaxation. Develop a reasonable schedule, which includes both productive activity and fun or relaxing activities, can significantly reduce stress.

Be Physically Active – Exercise and other physical activity can both significantly reduce stress and prevent the negative effects of stress. Exercise releases endorphins into your blood stream, which produces a natural ”high” that leaves you calmer and less stressed.

Find Solitude – Time on your own is an important strategy to manage your stress. This is particularly true if your day is filled with a lot of contact with other people.

Confront Rather Than Ignore – As a short-term solution to stress, many people simply try to ignore life problems. Unfortunately, problems you ignore tend to get worse over time Problem-solving is a skill that develops with practice, so refine your skill.

Take Control – Learn to express your feelings, values, and beliefs openly and honestly, in a way that respects the rights of others. This particularly applies if you have difficulties saying no to other people and become overwhelmed with tasks that you don’t really want to take on.

Slow Down – As society’s pace continues to increase, step back and slow down the pace of your life.  Slowing down can actually increase our performance and enjoyment of the work we do.

Spirituality – Developing a spiritual life can help reduce stress in a number of ways. Spirituality can help you deal with some of the more existential questions about life. As well, prayer or meditation can have a relaxing effect on the body.

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Allen goes on to this is an ideal model for planning projects.

The five phases:

1. Defining purpose and principles – Here’s where we ask “Why?” Answering this question defines the successful outcome, sets the boundaries, as well as focusing and motivating towards completion. You need to know where you’re going before you can plot the course.
2. Outcome visioning – Allen says, if you can’t visualize the end result you will have trouble figuring out how to do it. He suggests going beyond mere completion and visualizing what “wildly successful” would look like.
3. Brainstorming – Brainstorming generates the ideas for moving the project to completion. Allen recommends getting the ideas out of the head and onto paper. Writing serves to clear the mind enabling other ideas to come through. Writing also helps keep the focus on the project at hand.
4. Organizing – Now that those ideas are out of your head and onto paper, start moving them around. Figure out which are the important pieces and sort by components, sequences and priorities.
5. Identifying next actions – Of course, no GTD planning would be complete until Next Actions have been identified. What is the immediate action required to move the project forward on every front.

David Allen says this about the five phases, “Worked together, they create a whole model of how we get things done most effectively, with the least amount of effort. If any one of the five steps is done insufficiently, however, effectiveness can be severely limited.”

David likes to quote this 18th-century inscription from a church in Sussex, England:

A vision without a task is but a dream,
a task without a vision is drudgery,
a vision and a task is the hope of the world.

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One of the first things to go, when our self-esteem is low, is our perception of our strengths. Many people are all too aware of their weaknesses but ignore their strengths and qualities. For this reason it can be helpful to spend some time thinking about all the positive qualities that you take for granted.

Think of five successes you’ve had in your life to date. Take a sheet of paper and divide it into six columns. Title the first column strengths and the other five columns one of the successes you have chosen.

Under the strengths’ heading, list:

• Mental strengths
• Physical strengths
• Interpersonal Skills
• Character traits
• Categories of knowledge
• Learned skills

Now, under each of the successes’ find three of each type of strength that you used or developed in achieving each success. Don’t worry if there is an overlap of strengths from one success to another, that is to be expected. If you can’t find three types of strengths for each success, at least try to find three different strengths over the five successes.

Ask someone for help with this exercise. Find someone you can trust to be open and honest with you and get them to help you list your strengths.

Next, write down three things that you would like to change or improve about yourself. Put a tick next to those items you can change or modify to some degree. What sort of actions could you take in order to change them?

Now ask yourself, “which of my strengths do I enjoy using most?” Look at your current work and activities. Are you getting lots of opportunities to make the most of your strengths? You need to ensure that you are, because working to your strengths will cause you to thrive.

Find ways to express yourself through your strengths. You will increase your self-confidence when you share what you know to others.

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Speak the speech, I pray you, as I pronounc’d it to you, trippingly on the tongue, but if you mouth it, as many of our players do, I had as lief the town-crier spoke my lines. Nor do not saw the air too much with your hand, thus, but use all gently, for in the very torrent, tempest, and, as I may say, whirlwind of your passion, you must acquire and beget a temperance that may give it smoothness. —Shakespeare, Hamlet

You’ve been asked to give a speech. You do your research, you prepare what you’re going to say and you practice, practice, practice.

Now you’re on stage, you’re picturing the audience sitting in their underwear and you’re ready to go. Only thing is, you can’t remember why you’re there.

For all the time you spend getting ready for a speech, things can still go horribly wrong, once you are on stage. Here are ten things you can do to avoid crashing and burning when public speaking.

1. Stick to your plan – the following three points will always form a logical presentation: This is where I was, This is where I am now, This is how I got from there to here. Or you can use the familiar outline: tell them what you will tell them; tell them; tell them what you told them.Have a plan, rehearse the plan and stick to it.

   Two sentences into your speech is not the time to decide to say something else. You are less likely to lose your train of thought if you have spent time preparing your speech.

2. Keep it simple – Clarity is almost alway synonymous with simplicity. You run two risks by making your speech complex, you will lose audience attention and you increase your chances of mucking up what you say.
3. Make each point clear – Don’t blend your material so as to blur your topic and make it incoherent. Make each point distinct. Use what, how, and why in covering each point.
4. Use good English – You don’t have to be a grammar expert, but the more your presentation conforms to good language usage, the easier it will be to understand. Follow these five rules:
   1. Use a common word instead of an uncommon word: ancestor rather than progenitor
   2. Use a specific word instead of a general word: knife rather than cutlery
   3. Use a single word instead of many words: He was vague rather than the specificity of his intentions did not immediately manifest itself
   4. Use a short word instead of a long word: bank rather than banking institution
   5. Use the Saxon word instead of the Latin word: hot rather than torrid
      
5. Use emotion appropriately – Channel your stage fright into emotional energy that heightens the effect your communication. This doesn’t mean blubbering like some over-mascara-ed televangelist, or uncontrolled laughter at your own jokes. Nothing will destroy your credibility faster than inappropriate emotions.
6. Use humour – Humour can go a long way to keeping the listener’s attention. However, if you can’t tell a joke or aren’t particularly funny, skip it. Humour that is badly used will quickly turn off listeners.
7. Control interruptions – There will be times when you have listeners who try and control your speech with questions or comments; you may even have hecklers. Don’t allow these people to control the pace of your speech.You also need to practice skills for handling interruptions. Whether you burn the heckler with a zinger or ask the excessive questioner to see you after the presentation, you need to know how to respond. Most of all, you must never lose self-control.
8. Make the most of a mistake – There are any number of mistakes you can make while speaking. You might get someone’s name wrong; you might lapse into a Spoonerism; or just plain warble your gurds. Don’t get rattled. Apologize if you have too. Correct your error. Make a joke, if you can. Don’t dwell on your mistake: move on.
9. End on a high note – You’ve told your audience where you were, where you are and how you got there. Now it’s time for your call to action. This is not the place to trot out or review facts and statistics. Up until now, you’ve been talking from your mind. Now it’s time to open up and speak from the heart.
10. Finish on time – Stand up, speak up, shut up!

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Productivity is a constant process. However, you don’t have to wait for ideal conditions or tools to get started. There are steps you can take to improve productivity today. There’s always some low-hanging fruit that can be plucked with little effort or expense.

Can you see areas in your life that would benefit from starting productivity improvements today? Here are four ideas to kick-off those improvements:

Set benchmarks

Benchmarks are standards that measure the level of achievement. By using a benchmark, you have a clear measurable way to evaluate your progress without becoming complacent. These benchmarks should be established on small scale to avoid being overwhelming.

Start learning

Self-directed learning is the method used when a learner controls the objectives and means of learning. It is a continuous process, often informal, and an important factor in lifelong learning. Many adults engage in self-directed learning to improve their work performance. Others carry on self-directed learning in recreational arts and hobbies, matters of health, family and community, or simply to increase their intellectual resources. Attend brown-bag lunches, trade shows and conferences. Take productivity courses online and read up.

Ask for advice

Look around and identify those who seem to have their lives productive and organized. Ask them for the ideas, tips or secrets to their productivity success. Research on-line. The number of productivity how-to websites is staggering. Buy inexpensive software or services to help streamline your processes.

Keep going

Maintain your early gains and look for ways to sustain the process. Not all projects or undertakings are created equal. The standards you have set for yourself will not always apply. Sometimes you will need to scale back on the amount of work you take on; at other times, you will find yourself with a surplus of time. Do your best to manage your time and your life so that you are able to make the necessary adjustments to ensure that you are productive and producing at a level you are satisfied with at all times.

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Being a mentor doesn’t mean having all the answers to every question. A good mentor know which questions to ask to stimulate development in their protégeé.

Some of the questions mentors ask:

• What are your hopes and dreams for the future?
• How can I help you?
• Where are your skills being tested?
• Where is your character being tested?
• How is your relationship/communication style effecting what you are trying to accomplish?
• What are some new things you could try?
• What are some things that would help you to have more integrity?
• What challenges have you faced and what were some of the effects of those challenges?
• How has that shaped who you are?
• How can you use your past to prepare you for the future?
• Even though things haven’t worked out as you’d hoped, what are you learning from that?
• As you assess your growth, where do you see yourself right now?

Do:

• Be clear about your motives for helping your protégé. If you’re not sure yourself, the protégé will get mixed messages from you.
• Look after your protégé’s needs, but consider your own as well. Be certain about what you want from the relationship and what you’re willing to give.�
• Be prepared for the relationship to end. The successful protégé-mentor cycle requires that the protégé move on and the relationship either ends ortakes a different form.

Don’t:

• Don’t give up right away if your protégé initially resists your help. They may not recognize the value of what you have to offer. Persistence – to a point – may help.�
• Don’t try to force your protégé to follow in your footsteps. If the footsteps fit, they will follow voluntarily.
• Value the protégé’s unique path and where they are along that path.�
• Don’t have a pre-conceived plan for the final outcome of your relationship.

Working or living in an environment where they experience these things, a person’s motivation and commitment increases. They grow, mature as individuals and become more effective.

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