A Hurricane Called Carmen

Technical Difficulties

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 19:59:00 +0000

So, I keep getting a funny "unable to process your request right now" from google. so I can't switch the domain name yet. Until I can: https://carmeneckard.wordpress.com

Revamp

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 19:19:00 +0000

I'm revamping my blog. It will be nicer to look at, I think, but it will make your RSS feeds stop working. So...if you wanna keep hearing my updates, you'll need to type in the address (www.ahurricanecalledcarmen.com) and click on the RSS button. Thanks!

Oh and also, I'm pregnant!

My best friend

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 15:43:00 +0000

Funeral is Today

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 18:15:00 +0000

Brian's funeral is today (Sept 1) at Drum's Funeral Home in Conover. The receiving is 5:45-6:45.

Brian Deal

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 15:12:00 +0000

My friend died yesterday. I've not blogged in a long time, and I promise sometime I will. I have lots to tell you, but today is sad. Brian was too young to die. He was my friend. I can't get his laugh out of my head. Please keep his friends and mom in your thoughts and prayers.

Allison took this picture a few years back, on my porch.

My Bertha

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Fri, 28 May 2010 02:06:00 +0000

I love my dog.

My living

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Thu, 27 May 2010 17:48:00 +0000

Several people have asked what I'm up to these days. Several other people have seen me out working various jobs, and were surprised at the different type of things I do. See, this is the thing. I get bored easily. I can't think of any one thing I could do for 40 hours a week and stay happy. So, I've found a way to be able to do everything I enjoy, and actually make some money from it. It's a very good thing.

I thought about just writing a huge entry about all the things I'm up to, but that seemed like it would take a long time. So, I've made an outline. If you want details about any particular thing, e-mail me at Carmen@carmeneckard.net.

I. Jon Eckard Photography-I manage the business end of things, and assist Jon when we are on shoots. Occasionally, I shoot, but I'm a work in progress.

    A: Commercial Photography
        1: Website Photography
        2: Annual Report Photography
        3: Catalogue Photography
        4: Billboard Photography
   B: Event Photography
        1: Grand Openings
        2: Parties
        3: Fundraisers
        4: Catered Dinners
    C: Portraits
        1: Headshots
            a. Professionals
            b. Performers
        2: Family Portraits
        3: Senior Portraits
        4: Babies/Children
    D: Weddings
        1: Wedding Day coverage with album
        2: Engagement Portraits
        3: Bridal Portraits
        4: Rehearsal Dinner coverage
    E: Stock Images
    F: Art Prints
        1: Nature
        2: Figure
        3: Others

II: Vocal Performance
    A: Weekly performances at Smokey Creek Barbeque
    B: Available for hire
    C: Karaoke Host

III: Party Host/DJ
    A: Host parties with music. Karaoke/games are optional.
    B: DJ Weddings.
    C: Annual 80's party and Halloween party at Beef O' Brady's

IV: Trivia Host
    A: Weekly game @ Beef O' Brady's.
    B: Private parties with custom games.

V: Model
     A: Figure Model at Hickory Museum of Art.
     B: Model for Jon Eckard Photography.
         1: Commercial print work.
         2: Art Prints.
     C: Model for local artist, Kate Worm.

VI: Data Entry for Pixelspace.

VII: Blog Designer.
     A: Hurricane Called Carmen*
     B: Trivia with Carmen*
     C: Karaoke with Carmen*
     D: Carmen Eckard *
     E: Moore County Kennel Club
     F: Carolina Terrier Association
     G: Canine Common Sense
     H: Hickory Brides

* Created for myself or one of my businesses.

VIII: Teacher at Hickory Museum of Art
     A: Art classes for children.
     B: Drama classes for teenagers and children.

IX: Substitute teacher for Catawba County Schools.

Bliss

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Fri, 02 Apr 2010 11:46:00 +0000

1: It is Spring, which is the best news I've ever heard. I'm delighting in ever single blossoming tree and burst of color I see.

2: We got a studio! We'll be moving in over the next week or two. So freaking excited!

Our address:
520 8th St NE
Suite 206
Hickory, NC 28601

3: 14 days of teaching left. When I'm done, I'll write a big post about the whole thing. It's been a doozy.

4: School lets out at 1:10, then no school for a week!!

5: I'll actually get to see my mom's whole family, and my dad's whole family on Easter. Should be awesome, except my granddad is sick, and fading. That doesn't fall into the category of bliss, though. Send your thoughts and prayers his way.

A heavy sigh of relief

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 14:52:00 +0000

This was one of the biggest reasons I voted for Obama. I didn't think he'd be able to do it, though, because *some people* were really making everything hard. But, yay! It's not perfect. But it is a lot better. My favorite part: No denying or dropping for pre-existing conditions.

Picture by the White House flickr feed.

Woogle

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 12:47:00 +0000

Coming Up

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 17:18:00 +0000

Hickory Museum Of Art Calls For Artists For “Art On The Avenue” -

The Deadline Is April 1

Hickory - The Hickory Museum of Art is gearing up for its 9th annual ART ON THE AVENUE festival and is accepting applications for artists and artisans who would like to participate. The festival will be held on Saturday, May 1 from 10 AM to 4 PM on the SALT Block lawn behind the Museum. Interested applicants should contact Ann Hinson or Ronni Smith at 828-327-8576 to register no later than April 1.
Art on the Avenue is a popular, free family fun event. It features artists and artisans who set up booths to display and sell their work. Many provide demonstrations and educational opportunities for visitors of all ages and interests. There will also be children’s arts and crafts, animals, food, and music throughout the day.

This year, entertainer, educator and trivia host Carmen Eckard will be the festival’s emcee between 10 AM and noon. Eckard will also tell stories and coordinate youth performances. DANG! – the instrumental funk – rock trio of Charlie Zagaroli (guitar), Milton Hawes (drums) and Chuck Feimster (bass) – will perform throughout the afternoon hours. A multi-generational transition will be presented by DANG! and audience members of all ages between noon and 12:30 PM.

Last year, Art on the Avenue drew over 2,000 visitors and more than 30 artists participated. This year the Museum plans to accommodate more artists and expects an even larger attendance. This year’s Art on the Avenue festival is being sponsored in conjunction with the Hickory International Council’s Spring Fest (held at Union Square).

Woogle

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 13:26:00 +0000

Take this survey! Please!!

My friend Alan

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 12:40:00 +0000

Things I should mention:

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 15:37:00 +0000

1: I'm doing karaoke every week at Smokey Creek Barbeque, Friday nights at 6:30. It is very family friendly, and don't come if you want to drink. www.karaokewithcarmen.com

2: Still doing trivia. www.triviawithcarmen.com

3: May 1 is the annual Art on the Avenue at the Hickory Museum of Art. I'll be the DJ.

4: I've started teaching full time high school drama for 2 months. I like it a great deal, but it is very different from what I expected. Did you know that in the hands of a high school girl, Facebook is a very fierce weapon?

5: We're doing LOTS of photography. If you have any need for photography, let me know. We do lots of commercial work....product shots for catalogues and the internet. We also do portraits and weddings. You can see our most recent work at www.joneckard.com.

6: Maybe that is all...I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed with all I have to do, but I love every bit of it, so I won't whine. Now, if you all cross your fingers, I may post again before 4 months go by.

Pictures

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 15:32:00 +0000

I have fallen down on the job. I haven't updated anyone in quite some time, not even Twitter. I don't have an excuse. I just didn't feel like it. I still don't feel like writing a lot. However, I have lots of pictures I can share.

That one above is a picture of my lovey dove that I am fond of. I took that when we went with Jon's family to look for Christmas trees. We didn't get a tree this year, because we were (still are) remodeling our kitchen, and we were short on space. But, we went with everyone, and took pictures. This is me:

It was cold. Much as it has been cold for a million years, now.

And this is my brother-in-law, Thad, with his girl, Rebecca:

Moving on...my family (I don't like me in this photo, but whatever):

That one is my sister, Laura, who just got married and is also giving me a nephew, then my mom, who looks amazing, and me.

I love this picture, but I don't know why. My sister was trying on her dress to show me.

This is the snout I love to smooch on:

And the rest of her

These are pictures I took while Jon was working, and I was at our friend's house. I think they are lovely, so I'll share:

Big Bang Theory/Horn in the West

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 16:02:00 +0000

I don't watch Big Bang Theory, but they did mention Horn in the West yesterday, so I'll share the link. I worked at Horn for several summers during college. It was the best of times, and the worst of times.

My sister's wedding

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 14:46:00 +0000

You can see the rest at www.joneckard.com, then click weddings, then "Laura and David".

Top 10 of the decade

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 14:42:00 +0000

*Let's all just pretend that I didn't stop blogging for a month.

Seems to be pretty obligatory that I write this post, and as I start writing it, I only know 2 or 3 things on the list. I'm guessing the rest will flow. I'll start off by just saying what I was up to 10 years ago. I had been away at school for 5 months, ASU, and I was home for Christmas break. I was 18, very studious, and extremely messy (sorry Allison). Instead of ranking my top 10 in order of importance, I'm doing this chronologically.

1: I figured out who Carmen is. I really needed to get out on my own and make some mistakes, and pay for those mistakes before I figured out who I am. I started doing that in college, year one, and I suppose I still am...although I have a pretty good idea these days.

2: Started a lifelong friendship with Allison, who became my roommate and best friend about 7 months into the decade. I talk about her a lot on this blog, and you can read her list here. She just got engaged, and I'm tickled for her.

3: I developed a work ethic, which has held steady, and I also learned that not only do I not have to think inside the box....there actually is no box. This discovery really enabled me to come into my own.

4: I started teaching, taught for 4 years, then quit teaching. All 3 of those things were good. Quitting, maybe the best now that I think about it. Of course 112 teachers lost their jobs in this county this year, so had I not quit, I'm not sure I would have a job anyway.

5: I got my dog. I always used to think that people who never shut up about their dogs were dumb...I mean, it's just a dog. But then I got Bertha, and she made my whole life better. Every day, she cheers me up a thousand times, and tells me what she is thinking about just as clearly as some English speakers I know. I love her, and she changed my life.

6: Got married and divorced. Again, both good. I really learned a lot about myself and human nature during those 3 years. I hurt my ex husband, and I regret that, but there are things you can't learn in school, and I learned them in that marriage. People, don't get married at 21.

7: I moved to Hickory. I lived in several towns growing up, and I was determined to settle down. I really like it here. Clearly, I'm surrounded by people I like, and I've also learned what people to avoid.

8: I met Jon Eckard, then I married him, almost that quickly. What followed has been the best 2 1/2 years of my life so far. I can't explain all the ways that he has changed my life, but he has. I love him very, very much, and I'm tickled that I get to keep him forever.

9: I had sort of a natural revolution, where in I simplified my life and cut out most chemically based additions to it. I still drink coca cola though, although I know it isn't good for me. Things are better since I've done that, and I have overcome most of my ailments.

10: I fixed my relationship with my dad. It took approximately 2 decades to screw up, and one to fix. It is a lot easier to be a happy person when you're on good terms with both parents.

I realize this is kind of a boring list, but I assure you the decade has been a doozy.

I feel like I am standing on wonderfully solid ground, and I'm ready to face many more decades. Unless the world ends in 2012.

Happy New Years!

New Website

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 14:39:00 +0000

I made a new personal website. I had one before, but I decided it was ugly, so I made a flash one. It is a little self obsessed, but since it is a personal website, I'm good with that. If you're bored, let me know what you think...pretend you don't know me, and it is your first impression. I think it does a swell job of summing up my personality visually, plus it points you to my trivia website, Jon's photography site, my blog, and some different social networks.

So, without further ado...click here!

Subconjunctival Hemorrhage

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 13:32:00 +0000

Well, I guess lots of things have happened since the last time I talked to you guys. One of those things involved my eye exploding.

Clearly, it didn't really explode...but it was terrifying. It has now been 10 days, and it is almost back to normal. I woke up 10 days ago and saw a little red when I was brushing my teeth. Then, I pulled my eyelid up, and nearly passed out. Now, this has never happened to me, and I was scared. I woke up Jon, and it freaked him out too. I was heading to school, so I stopped by the nurse. She said, "It may be fine, but go to the doctor as soon as you can." When I got in class, the kids were all, "Mrs. Eckard! Your eye looks so much worse today!"

Wait a minute...worse? I asked them what they meant, and turns out, it actually went bad on Thursday, and I just didn't notice. How do you not notice that?

So, I call the eye doctor, and I talked a person, who asked me questions like "does it hurt" and made me an appointment for later in the day. The answer, by the way, was not really...it was uncomfortable. It was dry, and it felt like it was a little swollen, but there wasn't actual pain. Except the pain I felt from looking like a total freak, and that was pain, let me tell you.

Have you guys met me? Do you know how vain I am? Do you know how much I hated being ugly ugly for over a week?

So, I go to the doctor. I went to Graystone in Hickory, because they're the best for eyes, apparently. I was in the building for less than 30 minutes. The doctor was in the room with me for less than 3 minutes. He said, "You're fine. It's like a bruise. It will go away. Nothing to be done. Go home." And then the receptionist was all "That will be $210." Seriously!!! $210 to say "Go home."

Being fine was good news, but I was kind of bitter that they didn't do anything and it was so expensive.

All my friends were so cool...acting like they hardly noticed. But I knew they were lying. I was proven right when I went to teach 3rd grade. Every single student asked about my freakish eye, and they couldn't stop staring.

Anyway...it is mostly better now. It's a little discolored, but it looks yellow or brownish, not blood red. I'm giving it 2 more days before it should be back to normal.

Moral: If you wake up with a freakishly red eye, but it doesn't hurt, save your $210 and Google "Subconjunctival Hemorrhage". On Twitter, @Bradhaas tried to save me some money, but I was too freaked out to listen. I should have. Thanks anyway, Brad.

Also, side note: What happened to spell check on blogger? I can't find it!

Growing in my sister's belly:

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 03:07:00 +0000

My Halloween Costume

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:23:00 +0000

75Things About Me (Because my old list was, well, old)

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 19:38:00 +0000

1: I am Carmen Nichole Eckard.
2: I try to stay exceedingly positive, and most of the time, it works.
3: I'm married to Jon Eckard. He is awesome.

4: My dog is Bertha. She is almost creepily human, and I love her way too much. She is completely spoiled but if you met her, you wouldn' t blame me.

5: I can't work just one job. Way too boring. I need variety.

6: Also, I'm not good with bosses.

7: I host trivia. I do that at Beef O' Brady's in Hickory on Wednesdays at 8, and Buffalo Wild Wings in Hickory on Mondays at 6:30. More on that. Also, in that same vein, I host karaoke now and then, and I really like that too. More on that.

8: That husband of mine is an exceptionally talented photographer. Don't believe me? Look for yourself: http://www.jeckard.com/ I have the honor of working with him. I'd be hard pressed to give myself a label...manager/secretary/assistant? That might work. And, I've even been learning how to be a better photographer.
9: I also substitute teach. I used to a drama teacher, but that didn't work out so well (see number 6 and then consider how many bosses a school system has). I liked teaching kids, but I did not like the school system, and often teachers acted ugly to the "Specials" teachers (Art, music, drama, PE). Substitute teaching is great because if a teacher is mean, I don't care. And if I do care, I never have to go back.
10: I'm super sensitive. I will cry at the drop of a hat, and I am always aware of the vibe in a place. Those things have their ups and downs.
11: My best friend is Allison. She makes maps and keeps a swell blog. She also lives next door to me, and comes to trivia mostly every week. We've be friends for 13 years, which is the longest I've kept in touch with anyone that I'm not related to. We were college roommates, and I love her very much. Her blog: Anybody Want a Peanut. (Picture is Allison singing karaoke)

12: If you knew that Allison's blog name was a Princess Bride reference, I like you more now. I love that movie.

13: My other friend is Matt. I'll keep those 2 for life. I'm not sure what to say about Matt here, except that it is exceedingly comfortable to hang out with him. And, he is "Our" friend, which is so much better than having Carmen's friends and Jon's friends. I tried to find a picture of him smiling, but as soon as my camera comes out, his smile goes away.

14: I'm getting really excited about the concept of having a baby someday soonish.

15: I love the internet, and I love fooling around with websites...Partial list of sites I keep up:

http://www.carmeneckard.com/

http://www.triviawithcarmen.com/

http://www.karaokewithcarmen.com/

http://www.hickorybrides.com/

http://www.joneckard.com/

16: Fall is my favorite season.

17: Any shade between red and orange...that's my favorite.

18: I love wood...I like to be surrounded by it, and all my desktops, gmail, igoogle and twitter all have woodgrain.

19: My family is awesome. Mom and Dad split when I was younger, and the result is I have 2 families to like. The first, my mom's side:

That's the whole extended family...from the left my smaller family starts with person #13 and goes through Jon. My step-dad is a pentecostal preacher, and my mom is back in college to be a deaf interpreter. My sister is getting married in 2 months!

My dad and his wife deal in dogs...they sell natural dog food, show their dogs, and occasionally breed them. I think it is awesome that they make money doing things they like...just like me. This is them:

20: I also completely lucked out in the in-law department. My in-laws treat me like their own daughter. I can't find a picture of us all together...but that's everyone...Don, Evelyn, and Brother-in-law Thad.

21: I am totally and completely proud of my mom for following her dreams and going back to school. Also, I just like her. I genuinely like to talk to her.

22: My dad and I used to have a really crappy relationship, but now we have a great one, so no harm, no foul.

23: It's nice to not have Daddy Issues anymore.

24: I recently quit wearing makeup. I may not look quite as cute, but a: I feel better. b: I save 12 minutes every day. c: I can wash my face anytime I want. d: My skin cleared up. e: I feel lovely.

25: I lean a little towards the liberal side. I can totally be friends with someone who leans towards the conservative, but not if they want to talk about politics all the time.

26: I like to be right, and I often am.

27: I've got crazy book smarts, but it didn't occur to me that it wouldn't matter in the "real world".

28: I really like sitting on my couch.

29: I don't like alcohol.

30: I've "screwed up" a lot in my life, but I'm so happy. So, I guess nothing was really a screw up, because it all taught me, and shaped me, and helped me be in the right place to meet the love of my life.

31: One of those "screw ups" was a marriage at the age of 21. Some people may be grown up enough at 21 to get married, but I wasn't, and he wasn't either. I don't think I've ever talked about all that on my blog, and I don't think I will now either. It lasted 3 years, and I'm only now letting go of some of the guilt. Some. I still feel pretty terrible about it all, but only when I think about it. And, I'm selfish, so I just don't think about it too much.

32: I totally think that being selfish is OK. You have to make yourself happy, because no one else can make it their life long priority.

33: OK-I'll talk about it a little bit. I couldn't escape the feeling that he needed so much and I was completely inadequate. I mean, I could try, but I couldn't help him, enough, ever. And then, I started sinking down with him. At the end of it, I felt so completely drained, like I didn't even know who I was and what I wanted. It was the worst time in my life. It was much worse for him. And Oh My God the guilt I felt that I let him down...that I couldn't hold him up and keep him going. And then the guilt with the thought "Maybe I could have held him up longer" but at what cost? Every ounce of my own happiness? I couldn't. I am, at times, emotionally crippled, and I cannot always be the strong one in the relationship. I need to be taken care of, at least sometimes.

34: That whole shenanegan led to me actually searching myself, and figuring out who I was, and what I wanted. Kind of an important step in life. So, things are better now.

35: I carry around crippling guilt in regards to several things...I'm working through that, and I'm glad, because it was going to kill the real me.

36: I have to be the real me. I'm not good at anything else. And if I'm living for other people, how do I pick who I'm living for? And how am I supposed to know what someone else expects? No thanks...I'll do it my way.

37: It took me 27 years to get to that place, and I like it.
38: I throw a GREAT party.
39: I'm an excellent cook, and I love cooking for people.
40: I'm embarassed by how much I check my email and Twitter. I'm also embarassed by how seldom I check my phone.
41: I am not modest. I don't see the point. The world would be better if everyone knew how awesome they are.
42: In all my life, I've never dated a non-creative person. There have been actors, and poets, and artists, and musicians, and finally, a photographer. I couldn't live with an accountant.
43: I'm messy. My brain is a little cluttered, and when given the chance, I keep my surroundings that way too.
44: It is intentional. I know you don't think so, but my mess is intentional, and I know where stuff is.
45: I do, however, live with a very neat person, and so I've made lots of efforts to be neater in my house, and my car. If you want to truly know me, though, just look in my purse.
46: I'm more comfortable with a microphone in my hand, talking to 100 people than I am one on one, talking to anyone outside of my very small friend circle.
47: I know so many people, and I like most of them, but I save the title "friend" for only those very closest to me.
48: I am so good at keeping my cool. Unless it's my husband, then I lose my cool about 10 times faster. At this point, he's the only person who's opionion really matters to me, so I hate it when he's mad at me, or when I've irritated him, and I lose it right away.
49: Tedious tasks, especially computer type tedious tasks, don't bother me. I just try to take it one minute at a time.
50: It is hard to stress me out.
51: It is hard to piss me off.
52: If you do, you won't like it.
53: When I have PMS, I feel like there is an alien in my soul. I know I'm being crazy, and I know it is PMS, but somehow there is nothing I can do about it.
54: I'm a little too emotionally driven.
55: A personality test reveals that I am an "Spontaneous Idealist". Or, an ENFP (extrovert, intuitive, feeling, perception).
56: Personality test generated adjectives: spontaneous, enthusiastic, idealistic, extroverted, theoretical, emotional, relaxed, friendly, optimistic, charming, helpful, independent, individualistic, creative, dynamic, lively, humorous, full of zest for life, imaginative, changeable, adaptable, loyal, sensitive, inspiring, sociable, communicative, erratic, curious, open, vulnerable. All true.
57: I'm fun.
58: My IQ is kind of ridiculous, but I don't often feel smart, so I'm confused. Also, once you get out of school, no one cares if you're smart. It's such a change, and it is so rapid, and I felt a little cheated. I got over it.
59: I've kind of ignored my bad traits. I do that. It helps me to be happy. They include: impulsivity, messiness, stoic stubborness, the unrelenting idea that I am right, and if you disagree with me, you must be wrong, A mouth that never stops, resistance to bossiness, neglecting to follow through, and I cave way too quickly to pretty much anything I want.
60: I'm not so good at follow through. I come up with great ideas, but then I get bored halfway through and abandon it. I tend to completely follow through only with my most awesome of ideas.
61: I have never met a stranger.
62: I crave, love, need attention. I know that isn't a good thing, traditionally, but it works OK for me. The trivia and the karaoke take care of that jones.
63: Another snipit from my personality test: "This personality type is a keen and alert observer; they miss nothing which is going on around them. In extreme cases, they tend to be oversensitive and exaggeratedly alert and are inwardly always ready to jump. Life for them is an exciting drama full of emotionality. However, they quickly become bored when things repeat themselves and too much detailed work and care is required. Their creativity, their imaginativeness and their originality become most noticeable when developing new projects and ideas - they then leave the meticulous implementation of the whole to others. On the whole, Spontaneous Idealists attach great value to their inner and outward independence and do not like accepting a subordinate role. They therefore have problems with hierarchies and authorities." I just read that a second ago, and giggled because I'd already written most of those things in this here long list.
64: I'm a Virgo, so I should be really neat and anal. I'm not. I am bossy, though.

65: I will watch an episode of Family Guy even if I'm busy and I've seen the episode 4 times.

66: I also love King of the Hill, Southpark, Glee, United States of Tara, Weeds, Tosh.O and the Colbert Report.

67: I'm reeeeeeeeally good at multi-tasking. I thrive in chaos, and noise and distractions don't bother me too much.

68: Nothing personal, but I don't care if you like me anymore. That's kind of freeing, and it goes hand in hand with letting go of the guilt.

69: I keep overbooking myself and wearing myself a bit too thin. It's been an ongoing problem my whole life. I usually get it all done, and just end up a little stressed. But sometimes, I disastrously let all of the balls fall and hit me right on the head. Ouch. I'm trying to let go of that a bit.

70: I'm happy. Happy like I've never been.

71: Growing up, I had a real jerk for a step dad (I only say "Jerk" because I've made an effort to make this a totally vulgarity free zone). I spent a lot of time rolling around in the misery of that, and then I realized that I was just giving him power in my life, even though he hadn't been in my life for 15 years. So, I just stopped rolling around in the misery. And then I realized that I have somehow (brilliantly, if you ask me) forgotten him. I literally cannot conjure a single specific memory of him. I'm not sure, but I think that means I win. For his apart, he loses for sure. He has 3 daughters and a step daughter who do not like him, and basically have to be forced to speak to him. So yeah, he loses.

72: Step-dad number 2 is a keeper. He's nice, and a Penecostal preacher. I will say it is a little difficult to gain a Penecostal preacher for a step-dad at the age of 15. That was exactly when I wanted to start doing things I probably shouldn't have, and he was always there to be strict. But honestly, I know how unstructured and "follow your bliss"y I am, and I probably would have gotten into A LOT of trouble if that man hadn't been so strict with me. So, thanks Ted. Although seriously, I hope you don't read my blog.

73: It is possible that the strict Church of God upbringing and the scads and scads of guilt may be related. Maybe not...but when I was young, I was taught that thinking of something was just as bad as really doing it. And I was taught that sin is sin is sin...no matter what. So, in my little 6 year old brain, if I thought about stealing a candy bar, then it was the same as if I did, and I was pretty sure that meant I would go to Hell. Unless, I felt reeeeeally guilty about it for a while, then confessed my sin. And then, when I was 13, and had horomones raging through my body (and man did they rage...I'm still guided around by those dumb horomones), I was convinced that thinking about sex was just as bad as really doing it...and I couldn't stop thinking about it. So, imagine the guilt.

74: I've had this horrible hair my whole life...all frizzy and curly and drab. But this year, I figured out how to work it and I love it! And by "how to work it" I mean, "Leave it alone." As long as I just let it dry without pulling it back, or touching it too much, we're in good shape. Honestly, though, I still love a ponytail.

75: I'm awesome. You should totally hang out with me. (And, I'm a completely shamelss self promoter.) I haven't always been awesome. Only here lately, since I've let a lot of hangups go. In college, I was a total wreck. So, be glad you know me now.

For visual reference: Meiko

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 15:28:00 +0000

Thoughts on Jewel and Meiko

noreply@blogger.com (Carmen) — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 14:48:00 +0000

So, last night my sister and I went to Durham to hear an acoustic Jewel concert. Upfront, I'll say that I looooved Jewel's album, Pieces of You, when I was in high school. It was the soundtrack to my life, I'd say, for a couple of years there. After that CD, though, something changed with Jewel, and probably something changed with me, and I didn't like her new stuff. This concert was billed as an acoustic, mostly old song kind of show. So, I was super stoked to hear all those old songs that I love.

I was disappointed, but it isn't Jewel's fault. It was certainly unfair of me to hold an artist to something she did 15 years ago. She has grown and changed, just as I have. Unfortunately, the things that I loved about her aren't the same. I loved her simplicity, and her honesty, and the raw emotion that came out of her effortlessly. I loved her soulfulness. I loved that she always came across as a little nervous and a little insecure. She isn't so simple today. There seemed to be a lot more flourish to everything she did. The songs didn't seem as honest now, but she is 15 years removed from the events that caused her to write them. There were a couple of moments where the emotion came through, but even when it did, I felt that it was a little forced. Soulfulness seemed to be replaced with watered down commercialism. She wasn't at all nervous or insecure...in fact, I was pretty sure that she thought she was the best singer of all time. And all that is fine. People love Jewel, and she is certainly allowed to do whatever she wants. But, it just doesn't jive with me as well now.

But, the night was not a waste. I discovered Meiko.

She did seem to have all those things I loved about Jewel back in the day. She was honest, soulful, humble, simple, and clean sounding. She was also nervous and charming and precious. I'm pretty sure I'll be a fan for life. I met her after the show, and I told her that I enjoyed her more than Jewel. She thought that was a bizarre thing for me to say...as Jewel is a big star and what not. But I didn't believe Jewel anymore, and I totally believed Meiko. I wanted to hang out with Meiko. I wanted to buy her a glass of wine, and bury her in compliments.

I didn't even want to meet Jewel. So, I guess the point here is people change...I change, Jewel changes. I'll keep listening to my old Pieces of You CD, but I'm buying Meiko's CD too. I probably won't buy anymore Jewel CDs, but she'll always remind me of who I was in high school.

So, Meiko, if you should ever read this, know that you are awesome. And that you shouldn't be quite so nervous or scared, because you're adorable and talented. I expect for you to be huge.

And Jewel, if you should ever read this, we had a great run, some real good times. I'm glad that you have been able to grow so much musically, and explore all sorts of different music. The world is better for it, but I just can't personally get into it.