InTheFray Blogs

Bromances?

silas_mccracken@inthefray.org — Sat, 14 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +0100

The female equivalent (learnt by a trawl through Google) is a 'womance' ('woman' + 'romance'). Personally I find the terms bromance and womance, though a bit corny, slightly preferable to 'man-crush' and 'woman-crush', given the immaturity and lack of substance that these might imply.

Wikipedia (that oracle for all subjects) describes the sociology of a bromance:

'Aristotle described a concept similar to the bromance as early as 300 BCE, writing, "It is those who desire the good of their friends for the friends' sake that are most truly friends, because each loves the other for what he is, and not for any incidental quality". Research into friendship and masculinity has found that recent generations of men, raised by feminist mothers in the 1970s, are more emotionally open and more expressive. There is also less concern among men at the notion of being identified as gay and so men are more comfortable exploring deeper friendships with other men. Men are also entering into a first marriage at later ages than they have previously. According to a 2007 study conducted by the Rutgers University National Marriage Project, men are waiting to marry until an average age of 27, up from an average age of 23 in 1960, and men with more education are waiting until their 30s before getting married. The financial pressure of staying single longer may lead to men becoming roommates for extended periods, fueling the bromance.'

Although I would disagree with certain points in this analysis, namely 'less concern at the notion of being identified as gay' (I have known many men who would have serious difficulties with being considered the slightest bit gay) and whilst I have never known any man who has admitted to being in a 'bromance', it is still an intriguing idea and, depending on how widespread it is, somewhat encouraging. I have read that, in western cultures, more 'romantic friendships', though non-sexual, between straight men were relatively common in the 19th and early 20th centuries but declined during the remainder of the 20th century. I found it to be rather unfortunate that a positive feeling of harmless bonding between two individuals who trust and care about each other should be repressed due to possible false implications. I'm not sure whether the 'bromance' will herald a return to that earlier attitude towards friendship, but it can't hurt, I suppose. There are so much hatred and distrust in the world that enhancing relationships that bring people closer together should be celebrated, in my opinion.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bromance

Everything I know about NYC, I learned from SATC

ms.maria.elizabeth.rubio@gmail.com — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +0100

"New York City."

She remains friendly, but apparently less impressed than most of our classmates, who usually promise their first-born in return for taking them back to the Big Apple. "So you're a transferee?"

I nod, glad that I've found someone who'll treat me like a real person, instead of some celebrity.

"From what school?"

"Brooklyn College."

Her eyes grow wide with enthusiasm so that I think they'll bulge right out of their sockets and pop her glasses off her head. "They say that Brooklyn is the next Manhattan!" she squeals. "Is that true?"

"Sure it is," I say, suddenly uneasily. "I'm just surprised that you know it, all the way in the Philippines."

"Well, of course," she huffs as she adjusts her glasses in a dignified manner. "I watch Sex and the City."

Rep. Bart Stupak of Michigan: Slamming women's health

bhumika_g@yahoo.com — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +0100

Kansas City Star says

Stupak’s amendment prohibits any public health insurance option from offering abortion coverage except for cases of rape, incest and the life of the mother. It also prohibits individuals from using tax credits and subsidies to buy private insurance with abortion coverage from companies taking part in new health insurance exchanges.

I am a pro-life mom but don't agree with the language here. Why shouldn't a woman be allowed to choose, when she is not asking the government for help? I mean women don't have the right to buy health insurance of their choice? Tax credits and subsidies are NOT handouts, you don't get them for nothing. So what right does the government have to dictate how a person can use these?

This is yet another example of how the "establishment" views women and their health. I bet if men were designed by nature to give birth then abortion and reproductive health would be covered by ALL health plans, no exceptions. Because the society sees women as this meek being they think it is ok to boss us around and yes, use religion to scare us.

I hope female members of Senate and House of Reps stand up against Bart Stupak Amendment. This attack against a woman's right to choose had to stop.

Soothing sounds

silas_mccracken@inthefray.org — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +0100

I've always been fond of the sounds of distant trains and rain.

I guess the appeal of distant trains comes from that very steady, gentle rhythm of the train clacking along the track, the mysterious hooting of the whistle in the darkness. When I was a small child, I could hear the train at night sometimes. Alone in my bed in the darkness, it would be a comforting sound. I'd wonder who might be on the train, where they might be going, where they might be coming from.

The sound of rain has also fascinated me in part due to the rhythm of the rain on windowpanes, on pavements, on the roof, and also because of my other pleasant associations with rain: the moodiness, the beauty of the clouds in varying shades of grey, the thought of the refreshing drops against my face. Possibly this ties in with my love of the past, as when it rains it seems as if the world were in black and white, as if I'd just stepped into a vintage film. And when I listen to rain at night whilst going to sleep, I feel calmer, safer, more relaxed. I close my eyes, unburdened.

When the rain is whipped into a thunderstorm, I feel even more secure, sheltered, protected...feelings that may be elusive in a chaotic world where we often struggle to retain control over our circumstances. Hearing the rough thunder and seeing the dazzling lightning from behind the curtains, especially when the effects are (seemingly) of Wagnerian proportions (maybe a hyperbole, but that's how it feels...), I feel very snug and cosy...I pull the covers around me, rest my head on the cool pillows, and am able to sleep soundly despite the din outside!

Since when were there four Rs?

ms.maria.elizabeth.rubio@gmail.com — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +0100

There's no way of getting around it. At the teacher's discretion, classes will start with a prayer. (Most of the time, it's "The Lord's Prayer".) There is a statue of the Virgin Mary holding Jesus in the main corridor of the school. We are mandated to take several classes in values, where we explore the evils of abortion, amongst other things.

And yet, I can't help but feel like this closeness between academia and religion is somehow romantic, like the wild yet pure moors of Wuthering Heights or the emo underpinnings of gothic rock. In this country, there's something out-of-place yet essential about the appearance of religion in the classroom. Maybe, like ill-fated lovers, romance makes nonsensical things suddenly make sense. Or maybe, like the quakes of pleasure caused by sordid affairs, romance is just a convenient reason for doing something that's wrong.

They say that love is the answer, and even if that's true, romance can only ever be an excuse. I don't agree with mixing religion and academics, and I can't understand it, but I can't deny that it moves me. And in this place where I don't plan to stay permanently, I'll take that excuse, if only to experience something new, exciting, and temporary.

Project musical theatre madness

insidemarisol@yahoo.com — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +0100

For the month of October, I was involved in a musical theatre writing lab in New York City (Produced by Michael Roderick of Small Pond Entertainment) where book writers, composers, and lyricists were asked to randomly pick two names out of a hat to collaborate on the writing of two ten minute musicals. Within three weeks, we were to present our work in an industry showcase reading at Chelsea Studios. In our meetings that led up to this, we were enlightened by panels of seasoned Off-Broadway composers and book writers that gave us tips and advice about the business and our collaborative process.

From the moment we started, I was frantically swept into a whirlwind writing frenzy of this "Project Runway-esk" musical theatre challenge coming up with lines, story, and lyrics ideas, usually spinning in my mind at around 3am. I was fortunate enough to be paired with two very talented composer-singer-songwriters, Allison Tartalia and Anne Mironchik. My first piece with Allison was the beginnings of a rock and pop musical with dark and sexy overtones. The second piece with Anne was a swinging cocktail of authentic jazz and modern art.

When it came time to showcase all the musicals, Heidi Klum would have had a hard time proclaiming who was in and who was out. From the clever and catchy stories of Seth Bisen-Hersh and Michael DiGaetano, to Melanie Weinstein's hilarious one woman show, to Michael Roderick and Mark Weiser's poignant educational theatre piece, no one would have had to pack up their knives or clean up their work stations. Tim Gunn and Tom Colicchio would have been proud. Stay tuned and look out for the names of these talented musical theatre artists- coming soon to an Off-Off, Off, or Broadway theatre near you.

President Obama should fire his foreign policy adviser

bhumika_g@yahoo.com — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +0100

Afghan President Hamid Karzai was accused of fraud in elections, but now the U.S. and allies have accepted him as a legitimate elected leader of Afghanistan. The runoff, in an effort to correct massive fraud and voter intimidation, was canceled after Karzai's challenger backed out. So now Karzai wins the elections in spite of committing fraud.

It is clear that America and its allies are more concerned about winning a war than doing the right thing. Don't be surprised if this war drags on for another ten years because you cannot expect to win a war by accepting a fraud.

Seeing double

jcangro0531@yahoo.com — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +0100

Q. What do you get when you combine 10 sets of twins, random New Yorkers, and the 6 train?

A. One of those fun sociology experiments that shows how New Yorkers have a completely unique response system.

Check out this experiement by the group ImprovEverywhere.

Family (en)titles

ms.maria.elizabeth.rubio@gmail.com — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +0100

He would carry the title of "great-uncle," and no matter how wonderful of a relative he truly is to my son, that "great" would never be a superlative. It would stand as a reminder of the distance between he and my son. It would be a permanent label, saying that he is not a part of my son's nuclear family. (No sir, not even close.) It would state the widely-held assumption that his relation to my son — what he knows about him, how well they interact, how much time they spend together — is negligible at best.

Outside of the nuclear family, the standard titles of relatives in a common Filipino household are limited to five: cousin, uncle, aunt, grandfather, and grandmother. No one is removed from each other.We are all easily accessible, just as close an acquaintance in loyalty and reliability as your most trusted and valuable friend. It is not uncommon for cousins to be as close as siblings, for second cousins to be as close as siblings, for generations to be linked by the kind of psychic empathy and understanding that most Americans are used to getting only from their immediate circle of close-knit friends.

Maybe that's why the children of my first and second cousins take an immediate interest and liking to me: because, as far as they're concerned, I'm their aunt, plain and simple. Maybe that's why I can walk into any establishment in town and mention that I'm so-and-so's (insert one of the familial titles here) and I'm treated like family. Maybe that's why I instantly feel comfortable with my family in the Philippines, regardless of the fact that we haven't communicated regularly and thousands of miles have separated us for over a decade.

Or maybe it's just some deceit of linguistics and mind tricks.

The fact remains: here, in the Philippines, even extended family is close, and that comes in handy.

*subdivision = Filipino-speak for gated community

Burning the green

ms.maria.elizabeth.rubio@gmail.com — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 06:00:00 +0100

The smell is unmistakable, and yet I must be mistaken. Here in the Philippines, drug use is a serious offense, and punishments are severe. Until recently, carrying a sizable quantity of the green stuff guaranteed the death penalty.

I stand in the upstairs living room, look into the vacant lot next door, and watch as plumes of smoke carry the familiar smell of marijuana over the neighborhood. The smell drifts high and sinks low, contaminating everything it touches with the heady aroma I am so familiar with.

I ask my brother what it is they're burning, and he laughs. "They tell me they're just burning leaves, shrubs, whatever is growing in the empty lot, but I don't buy it."

"Late at night, I see neighbors sneaking in and carrying something away."

I wonder what will happen when someone finally buys the lot next door.

Entranced by the past

silas_mccracken@inthefray.org — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 06:00:00 +0100

I leafed through the pages and cannot even remember the topic of the volume, but what caught my eye was the borrower's slip. It had evidently not been checked out since 1945! I examined the signature of the last borrower. He had signed his name casually, as we usually sign our names, in pencil, with a trail of graphite (or lead?) extending from the last scribbling. Just a faint, lazy trail made without thinking...and between that moment and the time that I discovered it, over 45 years had elapsed! I began to think of all the world events that had taken place during that time, as a staggering succession of wars, movements, inventions, and trends paraded before my mind's eye. Then my mental wandering took a more personal path. I wondered about the student who had signed it. I wondered where he might be. When he signed his name, he was probably a fresh-faced, very youthful, energetic young man who had not seen much of the world. Yet at my moment of contemplation, he must have been well into his sixties, if he were still alive! Momentarily forgetting my assignment, I found myself fascinated by this unseen stranger whose only link to me was this signature I had happened upon at random. I wondered what kind of person he must be, what his dreams were, whether they had come true, what he had seen and done in life.

Anyone who knows me remotely well is aware that I have an uncanny, perhaps absurd interest in the past. That is one reason why I have always preferred music that was popular "before my time." True, I love the melodies, harmonies, and orchestration, but much of this appeal is derived from the fact that the songs fuel my curiosity, as I ask myself questions about who must have listened to the songs, who collected the recordings, how the songs made them feel, what moments in strangers' lives are associated with those songs. I try to put them into context. When studying literature at the postgraduate level, I often applied a "New Historicist" approach to literary criticism since I liked to interpret literary works as echoes of their times, of concerns and events that took place when the works were composed and published. To me, using such an approach enhances my enjoyment of a story by adding a new, irresistible dimension to it.

I like to walk through historical parts of cities, avoiding tourist traps and recreations of bygone days, instead taking side streets and studying very old buildings, perhaps abandoned structures with dark windows. I try to feel the vibrations of those who walked before me decades, centuries beforehand. I try to picture them, however incompletely and inaccurately, as real people with everyday concerns, some much like mine and others made obsolete by the march of time. Who were they? I get the same rush of curiosity when I look at old, musty, dusty photo albums featuring photos, sometimes stern, sometimes full of toothy smiles, of random individuals in forgotten fashions and hairstyles. What were their lives like? When did they feel stimulated? When did they feel bored? How would they react to the present?

I usually say that I am an anachronism. I certainly accept the present and live in today's world, yet I prefer a diachronic approach to life. I embrace different elements from different eras and apply them to my life as appropriate. I wouldn't call it escapism into a romantic fantasy of an idealized past, but rather an ability to mix and match what interests and appeals to me from various times. I can log online to watch videos that were made half a century ago or to read popular fiction that, while once capable of creating quite a sensation, is now all but forgotten. Many of today's trends, priorities, buzzwords, and popular media offerings are completely lost on me. I don't concern myself with them because most of them have no appeal for me. I'm not going to fake an interest in them just to be able to hold a conversation with people who are obsessed with them. Instead, I'll openly display my integrity and select my own preferences even if they elicit puzzled expressions from anyone who asks me about them. If they wish to know more, I'm delighted to share information. If not, then vive la différence!

What on earth is going on at Butler University?

bhumika_g@yahoo.com — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 06:00:00 +0100

In the lawsuit, Jess Zimmerman is accused of posting "defamatory and libelous" statements against the school in his blog.

Stu Kriesman at Huffington Post describes the situation as "Guantanamo Bay: College Division" and says that, despite announcing that they will drop the lawsuit, the school is still pursuing the case:

"Once word of this abuse of the legal system spread outside the tight-knit world of academics and into the main stream media, plus seeing the outrage of its own students, Butler backed off and announced that they would drop the questionable lawsuit against Jess Zimmerman.
Wrong! They were kidding! The lawsuit is still on and just in case, the Butler administrators are also going to hold their own "Kangaroo Court" to make sure Zimmerman gets what's coming to him. If they can't kick his keister legally, they'll take the law into their own hands and dish out their own punishment. All this because the administration can't take criticism on the Internet."

In Zimmerman's blog, you can read reaction from some local leaders and members of academia who are outraged at the way the university is trampling on the free speech rights of this student. I am posting one here:

"Too many colleges and universities are using their resources to bully and intimidate their faculties and students. This case appears to be an egregious example that is a disgrace to Butler University and the whole of the Academy."

-Bruce A Voyles, Ph.D., Grinnell College

Please spread the word and, if you can, contact Butler and let them know what you think of their actions against this student.

Sleep partners

silas_mccracken@inthefray.org — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 06:00:00 +0100

As you know, sleep comes at a time of day when we are winding down, relaxing, ideally feeling any accumulated tensions and annoyances melting away as we feel the cool sheets and fluffy pillows around us. That is precisely the time of day when it can feel especially pleasant to have a trusted individual beside us,; the physical closeness enhances the increasing relaxation and may help us to sleep more restfully, putting us in a more positive frame of mind.

I'm not talking about sex or dating here. Sex is sex, sleep is sleep, even though the two have become entangled together. I'm not talking about dating either or any emotional or psychological commitment other than friendship and enough trust to sleep side by side, possibly even holding hands or in each other's arms, if both parties are comfortable with this. In a sleep partnership, both people (or possibly more?) would meet up right before bedtime, get into bed, enjoy the breeze from an open window (or not), let themselves be surrounded by the darkness, whisper whatever seems appropriate (small talk, deep conversation, etc.), and fall asleep with that sense of treasured familiarity of human warmth.

And then after a good night's sleep, both parties get up, get dressed, and go their separate ways...until the next sleep session, of course, whether it's the next day, next week, next month...

A nutty idea that's not for everyone, to be sure, but for a while, I was quite intrigued by it.

The Taliban is holding Pakistan hostage

bhumika_g@yahoo.com — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 06:00:00 +0100

The Taliban and its militants are stepping up attacks against Pakistan, and how does the country respond? By acting like a scared chicken. Instead of insuring security for school children and universities, the government is bowing to the Taliban and closing education institutions. What kind of message does this send to the children of Pakistan? That what the Taliban wants the Taliban gets.

I am against putting children in danger, but closing schools to hide your ineffective security is not the way to deal with terrorists. Pakistan should launch an even stronger offensive against the Taliban and, if needed, close the border with Afghanistan (the main entry points because large parts of the border between Afghanistan and Pakistan are rugged mountainous areas impossible to police). Do what it take, but please do not stop children from learning.

For more on the attack on the Islamic university, here is the BBC's report.

"Think Pink" is the new "Go Green"?

lar721@gmail.com — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 06:00:00 +0100

In the past few years, breast cancer awareness has exploded into our social peripheries and now ranks in the pantheon of social causes with the likes of global warming and the War on Terror. Originally championed in the 1970s by First Lady Betty Ford, who underwent a mastectomy, breast cancer today extends even into the reaches of the NFL, where certain games are dedicated to the cause and players this season can be seen donning hot pink cleats and sweatbands.

It's easy to get swept up in the hype for searching for the cure, but when the word "pink" begins having just as much social impact as "going green," many people start to wonder where the line of finding a cure ends and plain social cause marketing begins.

It's an odd phenomena, the idea of "going pink," because breast cancer, like any other potentially fatal illness is, at the end of the day, quite a personal matter. And while there are many phenomenally strong and publicly proud breast cancer survivors out there, there are many who are still privately trying to come to terms with something that left them physically and emotionally scarred.

My aunt, who underwent a mastectomy to treat breast cancer in 2005 and then recently underwent a second one to treat a recurrence, said she didn't feel comfortable participating in breast cancer awareness events because "I don't feel yet like it's even really something I had."

It's easy for companies to develop pink products and donate profits for research, but the question then arises: Where does this money go exactly? With all this hype, are we actually closer to finding a cure? After all, breast cancer marketing offers companies an easy bandwagon to jump on, and buying "pink" is something that has indeed become very en vogue.

At the end of the day, I don't have the answers to these questions, and I don't doubt that much of the finances generated by "going pink" have helped pave the way for at least more social acceptance of the disease. If anything, the pink campaign has given survivors who want it an open platform to discuss a disease that was once considered taboo.

It's easy to get swept up in the hype of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but the fact that this exists also begs us to look beyond wearing pink ribbons and buying hot pink laptops. Much like the "green" campaign, such social tidal waves that become brands almost in and of themselves ask us to look beneath the material surface into other ways we can recognize problems and discuss them in a meaningful way.

As social causes become marketing brands, we risk not only diluting the solutions for the problems we are trying to fix (after all, buying organic food will help the environment, but even the regulations for these have become so convoluted and the organic industry so large, it's now guilty of many of the faults and carbon footprints it originally stood against).

I'm in no way criticizing what hard-won victories many of the champions of the pink movement have accomplished. But while such campaigns raise awareness, it's important to not forget how exactly your pink dollars are helping the cause and the root of the movement, which is not complicated make-up campaigns or large benefit walks or glossy Cosmo covers or guitars autographed by Melissa Ethridge. It's cancer. In all forms. It's the private moments between the individual people and their families. It's the late-night phone calls. Because in the end, breast cancer is like any other disease. And we're still a long way from finding a cure.

People-watching at dawn at the airport

silas_mccracken@inthefray.org — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 06:00:00 +0100

I make mental conjectures about their lives, pasts, hopes, dreams, and fears. I study their clothes, facial expressions and, if possible, the depth of their eyes. I was thinking of the last time I flew from Auckland, New Zealand, back to the capital city of Wellington (known for its wind, its arty flavor, its compact central business district, and did I say wind? It is a great place to call home!).

As I awaited my flight, I saw an interesting trio of passengers exit through the departure gate for a flight to Dunedin, the Scots-influenced university city located in the southern part of the South Island (New Zealand consists mainly of two islands, creatively named the "North Island" and the "South Island").

There were two pretty young women with free-flowing long hair and colorful peasant-style frocks walking with a breezy gait, accompanied by an equally attractive dark-haired young man with neat, short hair in a white formal shirt and black trousers, equally carefree and energetic.

Given that this was about 6:30 in the morning and nearly everyone else in the terminal was half asleep, these three stood out in stark contrast. I wondered whether they were students on their way back to university, Aucklanders off for holidays with friends, or something else entirely. I tried to figure out how they might know each other, what their exact relationship could be, whether there were any conscious or subconscious conflicts between them, and what their futures, shared and individual, might be.

I'd never seen these individuals before and will probably, barring some extraordinary Dickensian-style coincidence, never see them again. The fact remains that they managed to fleetingly enter and exit my life, words unspoken, yet leaving some impression. And however trivial the incident may seem, I feel enriched.

Today, October 15th, is Blog Action Day for climate change

bhumika_g@yahoo.com — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 06:00:00 +0100

Here is a short background on Blog Action Day from MadMikesAmerica:

"Blog Action Day takes place annually on October 15, 2009. This gives us one day a year for bloggers to focus on just one topic. This year's topic is Global Climate Change. So far, 5,464 sites have registered to participate with a reader following 10,453,869 from around the globe. If participation is anything like last year those numbers will swell dramatically as we get closer to Blog Action Day 2009.

Blog Action Day 2009 is the largest social change event on the internet. It began in 2007 when Australian Bloggers Collis & Cyan Ta'eed (along with help from Envato) decided to have a day when bloggers could focus on one subject. The chosen topic was the environment. That first year over 20,000 bloggers participated."

The initiative is not limited to the United States or Western nations. Bloggers in the Philippines are using this day to draw attention to recent natural disasters in the region.

"Bloggers Kapihan is hoping it will and urges Filipinos worldwide to join “Blog Action Day” on October 15 by publishing blogs, podcasts, and videocasts on why there is a need to reintroduce the discussion about climate change and actions to mitigate its effects, said its member and blogger/journalist Anthony Ian Cruz.
Cruz said the massive flooding, death, and damage caused by tropical storm “Ondoy” and typhoon “Pepeng,” which hit the Philippines in the last three weeks reflected the urgency in which the issue of climate should be addressed."

If you would like to participate, then please visit Blog Action Day's website here and start blogging about climate change.

You are so cute

jcangro0531@yahoo.com — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 06:00:00 +0100

"Don't worry. It's okay."

But I am worried. This guy keeps inching closer to me. My first instinct was that he was going to pickpocket me. I clutched my bag tighter and tighter to my chest.

Now, I think he might put his head on my shoulder any second. He'd boarded the train two stops after my friend and I did, and ever since then I could feel his eyes boring into the back of my head.

As I've said before, the best thing to do in a situation like this is use evasive tactics. I pretend I don't hear him. My friend, skilled in the ways of the commuter, keeps chatting — about the movie we just saw, about the weather, about Lindsay Lohan versus Britney Spears. Anything to avoid a lull in the conversation because when that happens...

"You are so cute."

Then he taps me on the shoulder. Instinctively, I turn toward him and break the cardinal rule — do not make eye contact under any circumstances. He looks fairly harmless with his backpack and button-down shirt.

My friend whispers, "I don't smell alcohol." Neither do I, but there is something altered about him.

"What language do you speak?" he asks now that he has my attention.

This forces me to move to level two of subway avoidance, which I am not very good at: the freeze out. "English."

"Really? I speak English, too. Yeah, I do. You speak so nice. I was listening to you. You are so cute."

I suppose there is a double standard here. This guy has clearly crossed the line to Creepyville, but had he looked like George Clooney (a girl can dream), I would have already given him my number. This guy does not look like George Clooney. They never do.

"Where are you from?"

Since we're already in the borough, I go with the obvious. "Brooklyn."

"Really? Wow! Me, too! You are so cute."

My friend says, "Do you want to move?" We are still about four stops from home, maybe ten more minutes, which will seem like eternity. Yet, we don't move. It's the same reason I'm not very good at the freeze out. I don't want to seem rude. For some reason I would rather be uncomfortable than to embarrass him or call more attention to the situation. I think this is the good-girl syndrome, as in, "Just be a good girl and don't make trouble," or "Good girls are well-mannered and considerate." Boys don't seem to be raised with the same mantras. It takes good girls a long time to learn to speak up and not be taken advantage of.

Would I tell him to stop talking to me? It seems extreme, so I just sit there and try to ignore him when he suddenly pops up and runs off the train at the next stop. I suddenly felt bad for him. I mean, this is a tough way to get a date.

George, if you're reading this, I'll be on the Q train tomorrow, conductor's car.

So how have your native surroundings shaped you...?

silas_mccracken@inthefray.org — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 06:00:00 +0100

A strategic location, the right natural factors, and access to resources and trade routes can "make or break" a settlement, which is perhaps a reason why New York and London have succeeded and thrived as major world cities, while Nuuk, Greenland has not.

Yet there is something more: the sense of place and surroundings helps to define the inhabitants themselves, gets under their skin. The hardy "Chicago spirit" may, to some degree, have been formed by the bone-chilling winters and scorchingly humid summers, as well as the love-hate relationship with Lake Michigan, which has boosted Chicago's economy, offered recreational opportunities, and also tormented many residents with brutal wind chills and lake-effect snow. By the same token, what would the Swiss be without their mountains and lakes? Or how would Bedouin culture and perspectives have developed without seemingly endless, desolate stretches of sand and rock?

Thomas Hardy, one of my favorite writers, captured this influence of landscapes on outlook, mood, and behavior in a number of his novels set in wild, picturesque "Wessex" (corresponding to real-life Cornwall and Devonshire in England). His stories read much like 19th-century soap operas, where anything can happen and happy endings are far from guaranteed. Indeed, the characters seem like jetsam and flotsam drifting to wherever circumstances, timing, and nature guide them, and human control is painfully limited at times. The beginning of Return of the Native stands out in my mind powerfully, with the row of bonfires lighting up the foreboding savage Egdon Health, and the wild, passionate character of Eustacia Vye embodying the untamed, powerful, and mesmerizing spirit of the local area. She—and everyone else on Egdon Heath—seems in part formed by this unique location that existed long before they did and will continue to exist long afterward. Similarly, in The Woodlanders, Hardy introduces readers to the village of Little Hintock, a heavily forested area of Wessex where timber is the livelihood of the inhabitants. Without it, the residents would suffer an uncertain fate and lose much of their identity. Again, place shapes and influences people.

This is also very much evident in Newfoundland (which, incidentally, played a part in Hardy's The Mayor of Casterbridge, but that's another story...). As I wrote in my last post, Newfoundland would have fizzled long ago without the sea. The North Atlantic has shaped not only Newfoundland's history, society, and economy, but it has also gotten "under the skin" of many Newfoundlanders, as have the jagged rocks and deep, rich greenery. The sense of place has influenced local arts, as is evidenced by a trip to The Rooms, Newfoundland's excellent museum and art gallery (highly recommended), which reveals that many local artists have chosen the sea and coastal landscapes as subjects for artwork; local music—what better evidence than the very name of Newfoundland's most famous musical export, the group Great Big Sea (also highly recommended); and the food (from myriad fish dishes, such as cod tongues, and foods like hard bread, designed to hold up well for long seafaring voyages).

Many Newfoundlanders also seem to be unified by this unique sense of place, amplified by its remoteness, which enhances the idea of "community." In recent years many Newfoundlanders have left the island in search of work elsewhere in Canada, perhaps most notably in the mineral-rich province of Alberta. Newfoundlanders I have met outside the province often turn wistful when the topic of landscapes is discussed, and they have spoken of Newfoundland scenery almost with the same tone that someone might use when longingly speaking of a lover or family member who lives far away.

As the old saying goes, you can take the boy or girl out of [insert native place], but you can't take the [insert native place] out of the boy or girl.

Saudi cleric fired for criticizing "mixing of the sexes"

bhumika_g@yahoo.com — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 06:00:00 +0100

According to the BBC:

"The cleric, Sheikh Saad al-Shethry, said the mixing of sexes in any university was evil and a great sin.
He demanded the curriculum should be vetted by Islamic scholars to prevent teaching of 'alien ideologies.'"

On its website, KAUST describes itself as "an international, graduate-level research university dedicated to inspiring a new age of scientific achievement in the Kingdom that will also benefit the region and the world."

At True/Slant, author Jessica Faye Carter has posted on co-education in the country and also has a video from Al-Jazeera on the university.

It remains to be see weather the conservative kingdom and its clerics with strong opinions will be able to accept the university and the openness it promises.