...It's a fuel tank for my sex machine!

Letter to Wichita Male Medical

2011-07-06T10:22:00.003-05:00

I'm looking at my options regarding treatment. I sent this today to Wichita Male Medical, a new organization in town specializing in male treatment.

Mood: The ache in the joints is creeping back. Sleep is less restful. It's been about 7 days since I had the first injection. I felt good for about the first two days. I did not get the injection amount, so I'm going to find that out at my next appointment. I'll be getting a blood draw and another shot on the 13th.

Hello,

I'm not sure how to approach this, so I'll just put it out there and see what happens:

I was diagnosed with low T (29 years old, 284 total, 6.6 free, 8AM draw) just 3 weeks ago. My GP was pretty considerate about the fact, and has me on Depo-T injections cycling every 2 weeks. My reading and how I feel after week 1 has me curious about other protocols involving HCG and Arimidex/Aromasin. I'm concerned about singularly using the Depo-Test injections over the long term (shrinkage, infertility, mood swings, etc). I guess what I want to know is if these are part of your treatment protocol, as well as home injections. I can't see visiting the doctor's office every 2 weeks for the rest of my life.

My GP's last day was the day I was diagnosed with this, so I'm keeping my options open. I will be visiting with another doctor at the practice, and will bring these concerns up. I just wanted to look at my options and where I can get the best treatment.

Thanks for your time regarding this.

Greg.

Irony of the Blog Title

2011-07-05T08:01:00.001-05:00

1 July 2011

Believe me, it's not lost on me. When I came back to post here, I had forgotten the name. I decided to keep the name and the former posts as a reflection back to my mindset, weight, and other particulars a year+ ago. I think it speaks well to what's been going on.

Finally a Possible Explaination of All These Years

2011-07-05T08:00:00.002-05:00

1 July 2011

Got to get this off my chest, and then I can move on to not obsessing about it.

Recently I started a series of ambiguous tweets regarding something going on with my health. I made the mistake of making an initial post on Facebook, to which my wife chastised me for leaving people who genuinely care about my health in the dark in such a public forum. That was not well-thought, and for that I apologize. This generation’s expression has been that of a sharing nature, and there’s nothing truer than that when it comes to health issues.

Some find health issues a bit precarious and quite taboo. I’ve been blessed (or, so I thought, but that will be explored here in later posts.) with what I’ve considered good health. Or so I think. When someone posts the random detritus to social media (“I’m hungry,” “Blah blah,” etc), the overall value of the information drops immensely. When someone speaks to their illness, if they’re just a casual acquaintance that has access to your stream-of-online-consciousness, then there is the collective bristle of attention-seeking.

I state all this at the front, because I don’t want anyone to think I’m looking for sympathy. Frankly, I’m a bit embarrassed about what I’m diagnosed with, but in two days after my first treatment, I have a vigor and vitality about me that can almost bring me to tears. I’ve teased this for some time, because I didn’t want to speak to it until I knew treatments worked. I wanted to get further along in the diagnosis and treatment process before I championed the cause and had any reflection on the matter.

So. I, at almost 30 years old (and most likely much earlier), have low testosterone. Or, as my inner twelve-year-old snickers at every time I say or read it, the formal name is ‘hypogonadism.’ Ha!

I’m embarrassed to say that outright in a public forum with my name attached to it, but the more I read about the topic, the more I read about the science, theory, and biology of the evolving man, the more I’ve thought this topic should be pushed to the forefront of men’s health. In more posts, I plan on talking more to the stigma, treatment, and, of course, catalog the results of treatment. There’s not a lot of heterosexual male dialogue about the issue outside of weightlifting and men’s health forums. My goal with this is to catalogue the treatment, the experience, and make a point about something I never knew existed until 2 weeks ago. I’ve got too much information for one post, so I’m going to break it up into smaller, more easily digested posts on specific aspects of this quirky illness. I hope to exorcise the demons here, and at the same time, I hope it helps anyone who comes across this better understand what they’re going through.

It’s been a crazy two weeks of studying intensely a topic I scoffed at when the doctor first made such a preposterous suggestion. It was either that, a series of less-embarrassingly-named ailments, or leukemia. So there’s that.

(Note: by the time this publishes, I'll be 5 days into my first injection of Depo-Testosterone.)

Oy (and a 5K)

2010-03-17T11:02:00.004-05:00

Back. Hiatus.

Pie. White Chili. Soda. Dear sweet baby Jesus soda. Sonic Blast. Chocolate Milk. CAKE. That's what memory serves, but I know there has to be more than just that. It was a bad week of reversion.

However. Understanding this, I came back hard at the gym at the office and a particular hard assault at the Y.

First off, the more reps, lower weight idea is paying off dividends. And by dividends, I mean my chest hurts today. A lot. I'm doing my final set of 4 at 225 without fear of dropping it on me. Each final lift is getting stronger.

Now to the laughable:

Ran my first "5K" last night. AKA, me, on the treadmill, running a programmed 5K. I'm pretty sure if it was the real deal, they would have closed up shop and left by the time I reached the finish. I'm embarrassed to say, but given I thought I broke the treadmill when it hit "60:00", I can think only that it only gets better from there.

62:19. 5K. 3.48 miles. Aka, the 17:53 minute mile! Ugh. I've got no endurance.

Meant to mention first time out, however, that even after my binge, I was still down a lb from my last weigh-in 1.5 weeks ago. (256).

Monster

2010-03-10T16:52:00.001-06:00

BLOWN diet today. Pablano's, vitamins, a cup of Mt. Dew, and now, in dire need of energy, a Monster and all it's 200 calories of sugary terribleness.

Couple that with not going tonight and I feel like Hell about it, but I feel like I need it to get through the rest of this day.

Sick

2010-03-10T08:53:00.002-06:00

Missed last night. I get off work at 7, was asleep by 8. Woke up at 10, stayed up 'til 1. Back up again at 7:15. Whole family has something, and as much as I was hoping to dodge it: nope. Hard cough and general cruddiness. Laying low again tonight.

Chest

2010-03-09T14:40:00.002-06:00

I think I need to lower the weight and up the reps. I've been doing my bench press, and I don't feel tired by the end. My bench is getting outta control. 225x6 at the end of a workout. Yeah.

Made a smoothie with a bunch of fruit in it last night and it turned into dinner. I'm not loosing weight, but I'm changing my structure. I can feel it all building. I didnt want to go to the gym last night, but I made myself anyway. Turned, as usual, into a fantastic workout.

Chipotle for lunch. Legs tonight. No lunch workout today. I need to reduce my caloric intake by a bit more. The working out is easy enough; it's the diet that I really have to focus on.

Chest warmup

2010-03-08T16:08:00.002-06:00

Completely not feeling it at lunch, but made myself anyway.

Arms are reminded that they are supposed to get it together.

Subway for lunch. Guessing ~700 calories for the meal, including the milk. Today has been a serving (or so) of Almonds, Coffee, and Subway. Whatever is for dinner will determine the total calorie count today.

I'm pushing against everything in me that doesn't want to workout right now, and I'm ashamed to say it. Trying to find the vigor of before that made it so easy to want to get up and out.

Fish Oil

2010-03-08T12:45:00.001-06:00

Burping fish oil is not my idea of a good time.

And it happens every time. Grrr.

Lifts planned for today. Back to the grinding; need to continue with the seriousness.

Nadda

2010-03-06T18:49:00.003-06:00

No workout yesterday, nothing today. Trying to minimize my calore intake as means to prevent any loss, but sheer guilt is kicking in. Getting a lot done around the house, but that doesn't capture the guilty feeling I have.

Bleh. I'm a little depressed the last two days, sadly, and I think that's sapping my desire.

Subsisto Ieiunium

2010-03-05T08:27:00.002-06:00

Someone asked me what that means. It's Latin for "Stay Hungry."

Which I am a lot lately.

Paying for the leg workout yesterday. Targeted calves, and they're letting me know they got the message. Quads are sore from the heavy squats, and skipped the Dead Lift from a screaming back. It decided to just give up about 10PM last night. Fell asleep on the couch.

Arms today. Usually enjoy these days. Wife's out of town this weekend, so may do 2-a-days the next couple of days to shock the system.

Legs Today

2010-03-04T15:57:00.003-06:00

Still back trouble, but nothing directly workout-affecting. Didn't really want to go.

Went anyway. Obviously always glad when it turns out. Wasn't the hardest workout ever, but I did get some tips by paying attention to a conversation right next to me.

And then I heard him ask the other guy if he wanted 'roids. The guy expressed concerns that he wanted to start MMA fighting and knew that they test for that. The other guy's response: "You have to give up some things in order to get other things."

Yeah. Like, you know, your HEART. Or your liver. Who needs kidneys anyway?

I have to admit I thought about them once, and taking the shortcut, but after research, I've since put the idea out of my head.

Pushed harder on the elliptical today. Wasn't feeling it, considering I forgot my iPod, but I got an update on my Facebook acct stating that I looked like I had lost weight in my face. That was all I needed. The little things, you know.

Another day, another weight lifted. Subsisto Ieiunium.

Update

2010-03-03T14:39:00.003-06:00

Ate the cake. Yeah, I know. 2 pieces. Extra frosting.

On the upside, I had no craving for sugar the rest of the day.

Didn't run, didn't elliptical; just setup my new Mac Mini and got things going. I sat down and watched the Ab Ripper X off the P90X disc set. Holy sh*t my abs hurt *just watching* that video. I plan on incorporating this into my workout regime.

I think the protein shake, the corrected diet, and the rest I gave my back last night translated into a fantastic workout over the lunch break. My arms are f'n PUMPED. I started with some light weights to test out the tenderness. No major pain, a little tenderness, but otherwise my arms and chest are bulging right now.

And so we sally forth.

There's cake in the break room

2010-03-02T14:50:00.002-06:00

... the same breakroom I use to fill up my water on a day when I already had my week's pop.

Those bastards.

Ever get the feeling that everything is working against your success? It's as though the universe wants you to flow with it as opposed to fight back upstream.

C'est la vie.

Agitated

2010-03-02T13:30:00.001-06:00

I think the Flexoril is making me edgy. I'm snappy and otherwise unpleasant to be around.

Workout last night

2010-03-02T12:15:00.001-06:00

Elliptical. 1 30-minute weight loss program, and then 30 minutes of a "Performance Uphill". Yeah. Eff that.

Home, protein shake, Flexoril, conversation with the wife, and passed OUT.

Flexoril

2010-03-02T11:54:00.002-06:00

Boo.

It is making me tired, there is no muscle relief, and HOLY HELL it makes me feel weird.

I was just bragging these things don't affect me, too. Eyes are wobbling, and I've got a strong hunger.

And then...

2010-03-01T15:05:00.002-06:00

Was midway through a pretty good lunch-time workout.

Picked up 35s to do one-arm curls. Thought I was stretched; guess not.

Second set at 35, and POP. Sharp, white pain. The middle-right of my back is ANGRY. Feels pulled. We'll see.

Gonna try the elliptical tonight, skip the weights, and hit it with the Flexoril.

Ouch.

Faded.

2010-03-01T09:44:00.002-06:00

I post like a crazed madman, and then a few days off has me in a slump.

Friday's workout blew.

Saturday, never got a chance to get there.

Sunday. Bloody Sunday.

Today didn't start well. Trying to keep a good attitude, but man, I didn't get good sleep. That translates throughout the day. Hopefully a lunch-time run at my upperbody will kick that.

Bleh.

2010-02-24T18:41:00.003-06:00

Stronger. Missed a workout Thursday, came back Friday and had a terrible workout. No cardio, was exhausted 30 minutes in, distracted the whole time. Expect a better start this week.

However.

My triceps are starting to horseshoe again. And they're firming. My biceps are rounding and balling up (under the fat, mind you). Pecs are gathering mass (again under a padding of moss). Quads are defining under the fat pad.

So I know what I need to do, I just don't know if I have the sustained willpower to do it.

Ugh

2010-02-24T17:07:00.000-06:00

I know why I wasn't feeling well. And that is now done with. Life moves forward, but UGH. That wasn't fun.

Energy fade

2010-02-24T15:51:00.000-06:00

Eyes getting heavy. Trying to figure out why.

Cheat

2010-02-24T14:55:00.001-06:00

Got my cheese fix.

A whole pizza worth. In my defense, I did, however, only eat a few slices full, then just ripped the cheese off with a fork.

I don't actually feel ashamed. But I'm pretty sure no where in any diet does it say eat 2 cups of low-fat parmesan as part of any workout regimen.

As hard as I worked last night, I've got no apologies.

ROWR!

2010-02-24T13:19:00.001-06:00

FEED ME SEYMOUR!

Serious hunger rev all of a sudden. It almost seems like it's in my mind, because my stomach doesn't want anything, but my mouth is watering and I want one thing. Cheese Pizza.

I'm thinking about cheeseburgers, tacos, Chipotle, and nothing is touching the thought of cheese pizzas.

Yeah, this is weird

2010-02-24T12:32:00.000-06:00

I'm not used to being this full and satiated like this at this point in the day.

I could get used to this.