I'm (a) Work In Progress

Day 2

noreply@blogger.com (Bas Wip) — Tue, 8 Jan 2013 09:37:00 -0800

So far, so good! I thought about cheating all night last night, but when I went to bed, I actually fell asleep and slept all night. I thought I would have to swig some NyQuil or something.

Yesterday, I got a couple of proverbial smack downs. This was yesterday afternoons:

Isaiah 58:6-9 (MSG)
This is the kind of fast day I'm after: to break the chains of injustice, get rid of exploitation in the workplace, free the oppressed, cancel debts. What I'm interested in seeing you do is: sharing your food with the hungry, inviting the homeless poor into your homes, putting clothes on the shivering ill-clad, being available to your own families. Do this and lights will turn on, and your lives will turn around at once. Your righteousness will pave your way. The God of glory will secure your passage. Then when you pray, God will answer. You'll call out for help and I'll say, "Here I am."

I took a lot from that little passage. I usually spend my time directing William how to clean his toy room and other areas of the house (I am lazy and my mom always told me that was why kids were for!). Yesterday, I got down on the floor and we organized his toy corner, he helped me unload the dishwasher, and we were proud together to show his daddy what we did yesterday. Today, I look at that same passage, and am reminded of all the produce that is going to go to waste because I am the only one who eats it in the house. I am feeling pulled to divide it all up in snack bags, and give it out with the doggy blessing bags today.. I know John won't eat it and I am pretty sure Kathy won't either.. Maybe I will trick them with a homemade cauliflower pizza crust and veggies to top it.. I just know that I am feeling pretty crappy about wasting that food because there are totally people who would and could eat it..

This morning, I grabbed my big ol' coffee cup again! Gonna put some chia in my tomato again, it worked well yesterday, and gonna go juice shopping again. :-) have a blessed day!

Whelp, today I find myself challenged.. Some stress has presented itself to me. Little irritations more than anything.. But, I eat when I am stressed.. Now I have to find a new coping mechanism. Of course, this idiot (two thumbs pointing at myself) knows in her heart, this is the time to turn to God-to pray, to read, to spend one on one time with Him. My problem is that my brain makes fun of me for doing so. I am so independent-minded that I find myself refusing, swearing that I can get myself through the hunger.. Duh! This is not why I am fasting! I lied yesterday- I couldn't find my devotionals and my prayer journal has never been opened. Shame on me.

I was a good girl and logged on to my digital bible and grabbed a fasting devo:

"This passage is a source for the idea of a 21-day fast. As you set apart these three weeks to seek God, know that God has already heard your prayer. He is already at work on your behalf. What specific clarity of vision are you seeking from God during this time? Write down your prayer so you can reflect on it at the end of the 21 days. Spend time praying for God to speak to you and give you strength."

I want to feel God. I don't feel Him in my heart like I thought I would. I want to feel deep in my bones that God lives in my heart. I want to radiate His love to everyone I come in contact with.

Daniel 10 (MSG)
In the third year of the reign of King Cyrus of Persia, a message was made plain to Daniel, whose Babylonian name was Belteshazzar. The message was true. It dealt with a big war. He understood the message, the understanding coming by revelation: "During those days, I, Daniel, went into mourning over Jerusalem for three weeks. I ate only plain and simple food, no seasoning or meat or wine. I neither bathed nor shaved until the three weeks were up. "On the twenty-fourth day of the first month I was standing on the bank of the great river, the Tigris. I looked up and to my surprise saw a man dressed in linen with a belt of pure gold around his waist. His body was hard and glistening, as if sculpted from a precious stone, his face radiant, his eyes bright and penetrating like torches, his arms and feet glistening like polished bronze, and his voice, deep and resonant, sounded like a huge choir of voices. "I, Daniel, was the only one to see this. The men who were with me, although they didn't see it, were overcome with fear and ran off and hid, fearing the worst. Left alone after the appearance, abandoned by my friends, I went weak in the knees, the blood drained from my face. "I heard his voice. At the sound of it I fainted, fell flat on the ground, face in the dirt. A hand touched me and pulled me to my hands and knees. "'Daniel,' he said, 'man of quality, listen carefully to my message. And get up on your feet. Stand at attention. I've been sent to bring you news.' "When he had said this, I stood up, but I was still shaking. "'Relax, Daniel,' he continued, 'don't be afraid. From the moment you decided to humble yourself to receive understanding, your prayer was heard, and I set out to come to you. But I was waylaid by the angel-prince of the kingdom of Persia and was delayed for a good three weeks. But then Michael, one of the chief angel-princes, intervened to help me. I left him there with the prince of the kingdom of Persia. And now I'm here to help you understand what will eventually happen to your people. The vision has to do with what's ahead.' "While he was saying all this, I looked at the ground and said nothing. Then I was surprised by something like a human hand that touched my lips. I opened my mouth and started talking to the messenger: 'When I saw you, master, I was terror-stricken. My knees turned to water. I couldn't move. How can I, a lowly servant, speak to you, my master? I'm paralyzed. I can hardly breathe!' "Then this humanlike figure touched me again and gave me strength. He said, 'Don't be afraid, friend. Peace. Everything is going to be all right. Take courage. Be strong.' "Even as he spoke, courage surged up within me. I said, 'Go ahead, let my master speak. You've given me courage.' "He said, 'Do you know why I've come here to you? I now have to go back to fight against the angel-prince of Persia, and when I get him out of the way, the angel-prince of Greece will arrive. But first let me tell you what's written in The True Book. No one helps me in my fight against these beings except Michael, your angel-prince.'" (Daniel 10:1-21 MSG)

My fridge smells like onions

noreply@blogger.com (Bas Wip) — Mon, 7 Jan 2013 12:42:00 -0800

Or, as I should call it: Fasting- day 1

This morning, I woke up and gazed longingly at the donuts on the counter.. Ugh, do i really want to do this?? YES!

Grabbed my mega-super-awesome 28 ounce coffee cup and used the Keurig to fill 'er up! Spent a few extra minutes sitting in my garage reminding myself that the impulse to eat only will last 8 minutes at a time. The impulse may hit me every 8 minutes all day long, but it will only stay for 8 minutes at a time!

Wandered the house looking for my books (prayer guides, bible guides, devotionals, etc)- couldn't find my devotionals, but found some other thought provoking gold!

Just sat down with William for lunch and remembered that I couldn't eat with him. I was really eying my big juicy apples in the bowl. I found myself trying to justify eating only one apple.. NO! This is cheating- who cares if it is healthy, you haven't even made it one day! I just poured myself some tomato juice with chia seeds (those aren't cheating, are they?) and a shot of liquid protein.

My protein tastes like some kind of fruity crap-gross! And the chia seeds get stuck in my teeth.. Gross! But what do you do? Hopefully the seeds will expand and do what they are supposed to do.

I am already shaky and unfocused, this should be an interesting week. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Through God, all things are possible!

Matthew 6:16-18 (MSG) when you practice some appetite denying discipline to better concentration God, don't make a production about it. It might turn you into a small-time celebrity, but it won't make you a saint. If you 'go into training' inwardly, act normal outwardly. Shampoo and comb your hair, brush your teeth, wash your face. God doesn't require attention-getting devices. He won't overlook what you are doing, he'll reward you well!

Ooh, a proverbial smack in the face!

Fasting

noreply@blogger.com (Bas Wip) — Mon, 7 Jan 2013 12:22:00 -0800

I have never successfully done a fast before- I ALWAYS cheat..

I am going to do a liquids only fast because I want to prove two things to myself:

1. I don't need to always stuff my face with food.
2. I need to relying God to get me through everything.

My plan is to grab a big glass of juice, water or milk (and coffee in the mornings) and my bible every times feel the hunger pains.

I have my devotional books, my reading plans, and my journals all ready to go.

3 days on, 4 days off..

noreply@blogger.com (Bas Wip) — Mon, 3 Dec 2012 13:44:00 -0800

Just read something on Pinterest about a "military diet" that sounds do-able.. Don't know if I'd actually try it, but want it posted somewhere I can find it.. :-)

DAY 1:

Breakfast--1/2 Grapefruit, 1 Slice of Toast, 2 Tablespoons of Peanut Butter, and Coffee or Tea

Lunch--1/2 Cup of Tuna, 1 Slice of Toast, and Coffee or Tea (any brew, as long as it's caffeinated)

Dinner--3 ounces of any type of meat, 1 Cup of Green Beans, 1/2 Banana, 1 Small Apple, and 1 Cup of Vanilla Ice Cream (YUM)!!!

Tips to Try:

Warm the apple and/or banana and eat them over the ice cream. Delicious!
Cook the green beans with the meat or simmer them in the broth. Mmmm :)

DAY 2:

Breakfast--1 egg, 1 Slice of Toast, and 1/2 Banana

Lunch--1 Cup of Cottage Cheese (Or 1 Slice of Cheddar Cheese), 1 Hard Boiled Egg, and 5 Saltine Crackers

Dinner--2 Hot Dogs, (no buns), 1 Cup of Broccoli, 1/2 Cup of Carrots, 1/2 Banana, and 1/2 Cup of Vanilla Ice Cream

DAY 3:

Breakfast--5 Saltine Crackers, 1 Slice of Cheddar Cheese, and 1 Small Apple

Lunch-1 Hard-Boiled Egg, and 1 Slice of Toast

Dinner--1 Cup of Tuna, 1/2 of a Banana, and 1 Cup of Vanilla Ice Cream

Excercise equipment on eBay
Jam Gym Excercise Fitness System(like weights)traveling workout equipment JGM009
Current Bid: $29.99
Aero Pilates Machine PERFORMER XP 297 EXCERCISE EQUIPMENT NIB FROM QVC
Current Bid: $112.50
LN Nordic Track Elliptical XM COMMERCIAL GYM Excercise Equipment Trainer
Current Bid: $300.00

This diet works on chemical breakdown and is proven. Do not vary or substitute any of the above foods. Salt and pepper may be used, but do not use any other seasoning. The diet is to be used for three days at a time.

In three days you should lose up to 10 pounds. After three days of dieting, you can eat your normal foods, but do not over do it. After four days of normal eating, you may start back on the 3 day diet again. You can lose up to 40 pounds in a month if this diet is followed precisely.

This is a safe diet and can be used by many different individuals and body types. Exercise is recommended.

REMEMBER: Do not eat/snack between any of the meals!

NOTE: Coffee or tea for the first two meals of Day 1 only. Water only from then on. Water intake is unlimited.

Food Choices Explained
Toast = 1 slice of any type of bread but preferably whole wheat bread. Can be toasted or ate without toasting.

Peanut Butter = Can be home pressed or bought by the jar for convenience. Choose brands with less sugar (such as JIF®). Can be crunchy or smooth.

Coffee or Tea = Plain, black coffee or tea that is caffeinated. Nothing added.

Tuna = Fresh or Canned tuna fish.

Any type meat = Exactly that, any type of meat, May be fresh, or canned meat. Includes but not limited to: Seafood, beef, pork, or poultry. If opting for canned or deli meat, buy the lowest in sodium and fillers, and the closest to fresh as possible.

Vanilla ice cream = Plain, straight, and regular vanilla ice cream. Nothing added.

Egg: Where it's not specified, the egg can be cooked in any manner that you prefer. For a hard-boiled egg, start in cold water and bring to a boil. After water begins boiling, cook for about 12 minutes.

Saltine crackers = Plain soda crackers. If not available, just use plain crackers.

Hot Dogs: Beef franks, turkey franks, etc. Franks with only one type of meat. The cheap, mixed meat wieners, with unhealthy fillers, are not recommended.

Slice of Cheddar = About two ounces of cheddar cheese.

TESTED AND APPROVED ADDITIONS

Splenda
Small amounts of mustard
Small amounts of relish
Lemon pepper
Sugar free gum and mints
(Will add more as I do further tests :)

My plans for December

noreply@blogger.com (Bas Wip) — Fri, 30 Nov 2012 21:02:00 -0800

I have been trying to think of a way to do something really special that turns into a tradition for William. After a couple days thinking plus a couple days playing on Pinterest, I came up with our 25 Days of Christmas Paper Chain:

1. Read him the Christmas Story- I want him to have a really solid beginners understanding on why we as a family celebrate Christmas and what it means to us.

2. Decorate william's bedroom with lights, mini tree, etc- He was out of town with his grammy for Thanksgiving and I put the tree up without him being here.

3. Watch Frosty the Snowman- One of my favorite Christmas movies out there!

4. Read his Christmas books (kid has at least 15-20)- He has a collection of some of the best Christmas stories that read to him, read with him, have good pictures, and it starts the conversation about Santa.

5. Make homemade gift tags out of construction paper; make homemade Christmas ornaments for gifts out of salt dough and out of cinnamon dough. I want him to know that Christmas is not about what you buy or how much money you spend on someone. I get great satisfaction in being able to hand craft most of the gifts I want to give. I also love giving and want to instill that in him as well.

6. Making daddy's favorite: German chocolate cake (special just for daddy) I want him to start with a service for another person. The best way I could think to start small and fun would be to bake daddy his favorite cake because daddy does not get to eat his favorite cake often as he is the only one who like german chocolate cake.

7. Watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer- Another one of my favorite Christmas movies.

8. Use graham crackers, candy and frosting to make a gingerbread house- just for fun, I never did it as a kid and have always wanted to.

9. Drive our neighborhood to look at Christmas lights (our neighbors seem to have put them up early this year, yay!!) William loves looking at lights every year and gets really excited every time he sees a house with lights.

10. Read The Night Before Christmas just for fun and to reinforce the idea of Santa. :-)

(11-16 are for the 17th)
11. Make brownies (usually a regular chocolate and then a peanut butter chocolate)

12. Make fudge (milk chocolate, peanut butter, and possibly nutella this year)

13. Make cookies (we do chocolate chip, peanut butter and sometimes sugar)

14. Make 3 kids of rice Krispy treats with peppermint marshmallows, caramel vanilla marshmallows, and cinnamon bun marshmallows, all drizzled in chocolate

15. Make chocolate covered pretzels dipped in crushed candy cane

16. Make Christmas tree shaped and decorated cupcakes (I have a mold I got last year for Christmas )

17. Package and deliver the all the goodies we made for people. Instills the giving idea once again.
(The order I make them all in might change next year- we shall see if that much time is good for everything)

18. Wrap the presents we have for other people (this will include making baskets an bags out of old newspapers so everything is 100% homemade from him this year. )

19. Deliver our gifts that we made for everyone. (Or head to the post office with all of it that is mailed- again

might change for next year depending on if everything gets where it is going when it needs to.)

20. Clean out the pantry for food donations and includes taking the food somewhere- He needs to know that there are always people less fortunate than we are and that we should give when we have something to give.

21. Urban Christmas Caroling- Call friends and family to do Christmas Carols over the phone. (This is my personal favorite that I hAve to work hard on teaching him)

22. Read again the Christmas Story to continue to emphasize the reason for the season

23. Drive around again for Christmas lights with hot chocolate and Christmas music going

24. Open one gift- my mom always bought us new pajamas to open on Christmas Eve so we would have nice, new, clean pajamas to wear when it was time to open presents. :-)

25. Just says CHRISTMAS DAY!!

I have also included a spot on the paper chain for each day to pick someone specific and special to pray for. He gets to pick the person and we will pray for that person off and on the entire day.

I will post pictures every day to Facebook to show each activity we did! And how successful it was according to me. :)

10/22

noreply@blogger.com (Bas Wip) — Mon, 22 Oct 2012 18:37:00 -0700

Weight:
Me: 326.9
BB: 31.0

Eek, today is a dangerous day. I am unmotivated, easily distracted, and don't feel like being a home.

This morning I ate a bowl of lucky charms with 2% milk. Throughout the day, I drank a 30 oz coffee with vanilla syrup and half & half- I shared with BB so maybe drank 24 oz myself.

For early lunch before BB's dentist appt, he wanted pizza so I used 2 flour tortillas and made 2 personal sized pizzas. I used tomato sauce with a little Italian seasoning, garlic and onion powder, and Italian blend cheese (mozzarella, provolone, asiago, Romano, fontina, and Parmesan blend) and pepperoni.
Then we brushed our teeth again and headed onto the dentist. BB got his laughing gas, his yucky tooth was fixed, and we came home.
About 2:00 BB wanted more pizza so I made another tortilla pizza and we are that one together. (If you like thin cracker-like crust on pizza, I definitely recommend using tortillas- they are super thin and cook to crispy on a pizza stone)

For dinner tonight we will do tacos and I will drink 50-60 oz of water (I have to make up for it and it is easy to do with a cup that holds 30 oz exact. :-) ) on taco night we usually do corn tortillas in oil Southey get crispy, but I don't like those, so I am going to build a taco salad with hamburger, refried beans, lots of lettuce, onion, and a sour cream and salsa sauce.

If I get hungry late tonight I plan on drinking an instant breakfast so it is not quite as bad for me as mindless snacking.

10/21

noreply@blogger.com (Bas Wip) — Sun, 21 Oct 2012 09:31:00 -0700

Last night, Hubs was down with a nasty stomach bug all night, so I was up and down with him until well past 2:00am. There went my midnight snack out the window. At about 12:30, I got up and ate a double serving size bowl of lucky charms with 2% milk. It helped the heartburn.

Weight:
Me:324.4
BB: 31.1

For breakfast I decided to go with 1/2 cup of jello. I use the excuse of just in case I get what Hubs got, but in all actuality, jello sounds really good for breakfast. :-)

We are going to the pumpkin patch today. I know BB is excited! I am too! I updated my playlist on my iPhone so I have good driving music with a lot of veggie tales for BB. We love the sing-alongs!

With all the walking I will e doing today, I am going to skip my video. I may change my mind tonight, but I seriously doubt it!

I navigated the pumpkin farm easily as far as food. I only ate one powdered sugar old fashioned donut and drank a 20 oz coke.

I just made breakfast for dinner for BB and I. Hash browns, sausage patties, scrambled eggs, cheese, and bacon. I made my plate into a large burrito. Eating this early, I may have a bowl of cereal later, depending on how late I stay up. I am super tired though so I may just duck out when William does tonight.

10/20

noreply@blogger.com (Bas Wip) — Sat, 20 Oct 2012 10:25:00 -0700

Last night I was bad. After I posted, Hubs and I made a middle of the night run to Taco Bell. Instead of eating my usual 4 crunchy tacos and 1 bean burrito, I cut it down to 1 taco and 1 burrito.

Weight:
Me: 323.5
BB: 31.7
This morning, BB let me sleep in until after 10:00 am. My breakfast doesn't really exist when I sleep that late. So, for early lunch, I ate another breakfast burrito like yesterday. BB wanted a toasted cheese sandwich (I skip all the butter that way and he still likes it).

I am sitting out in the garage taking a few minutes of me-time while BB watches some cartoons. I really don't want to do my video this morning, but I don't feel yesterday's work in my muscles, so I know I need to get in the house an get them done. Yesterday BB sat right by me and gigged in my face while I was doing my Pilates. Today will be no different I am sure! I do have to say I am looking forward to the shower after though. :-)

I showered, stopped by Starbucks and grabbed a 30 oz iced coffee sweetened with classic syrup an a little half & half. Headed over to my step-moms house and forgot to drink water.

I just got home, made BB a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, potato chips, and spiral Mac and cheese. I ate about 3/4 of the box (I buy the spirals because there is less food packaged and I feel less bad about eating a whole box). And am going to slam at least 20 oz of water. I feel like I need something sweet now, but we luckily don't have anything sweet that sounds good. :-)

10/19

noreply@blogger.com (Bas Wip) — Fri, 19 Oct 2012 17:16:00 -0700

Weight:

Me: 326.9

BB: 30.6 (he likes to do what I do)

This morning I made breakfast burrito mix for Hubs, so not a good thing for me to eat. I start with bacon and chop it raw. After it is cooked, I remove the bacon and cook the hashbrowns in the grease until they are super crispy. I remove the potatoes and cook my sausage crumbles. Once the sausage is cooked, I remove that and cook my eggs in the sausage grease. I put it all in a bowl, add a few handfuls of cheese and mix it all together. BB had a small burrito, and I had a larger one. An improvement on normal days. I can usually eat 2 or 3 burritos in a sitting.

I drank 2 large cups of coffee this morning which I sweeten with vanilla bean powder from Starbucks and .5 oz of caramel sauce.

BB and I watched tv until lunch. I was not very hungry, so I had a piece of toast and a handful (10ish) of gummy bears. BB ate a lebanon bologna sandwich with mustard, miracle whip, and cheddar cheese, and a handful of gummy bears.

Around 4:00 pm, I pulled out my Pilates for beginners DVD and watched the explanation of the core exercises and positions. After watching and trying it out, I turned on the arms and legs portion. In the 15 minute video, I attempted everything and was only able to do about 1/2 of it (my fat got in the way, or I physically could not do what the DVD was showing). I moved on to the 15 minute abs section and had the same results. My new goal is to keep doing those two every day until I can get through the whole thing. It may take me a week, a month, or a year, but I have resolved to get through it. One day at a time. After all, I am a work in progress- always will be!

I have to up my water intake. I am severely ignoring my hydration. My plan for the moment is to add in at least 20 ounces of water before every meal and in-between when I normally snack. Cutting out some of my sugary beverages will be the next step, but I don't want to put myself in shock!

For Dinner, I am cooking my last bagged meal in the freezer. It is a Bertolli chicken and alfredo penne meal with veggies. I normally eat 2 pieces of toast with these meals, so I am going to cut the toast but not cut the size of my normal portion yet. Small steps.

Love Always,

Determined in ABQ

Get off the couch!

noreply@blogger.com (Bas Wip) — Thu, 18 Oct 2012 15:00:00 -0700

I weigh 326 lbs. I am not proud, not happy, definitely not bragging.

All my life I have thought I was fat. Until I get fatter. Then I realize that it wasn't as bad as it is now.

I have an autoimmune disease that presents with physical symptoms when I am not taking care of myself.

It is time to start taking care of myself. I am ashames of my clothing sizes, the fact that I have fat folds, and that I cannot keep up with my 3 year old.

This all changes NOW.