Jack Dogg's Blog

Zombies, run!!!!! It pays to be a trainer!!! I can outrun them all in the event of an outbrake!!!

2009-12-04T19:39:00.000-08:00

What the hell am I talking about?!? So I was at my friend Lee's house in holden and amongst one of the more interesting discussions I had today (right up there with the very interesting idea that suddenly dawned on us to solve the overcrowded jail problems in the United States; part time jail time for criminals so that they still learn a lesson and have to sit there for 8 hours a day doing nothing instead of using that time to work (see next blog) )

.. anyway, Lee was telling me about this ingenious new application that exists for the new phone/lasergun/videogame/email/virtual girlfriend application called the "anDroid" that he swears has gotten him to take up jogging again just to play this game...

The whole objective is this; run like hell and get away from zombies that are coming at you as you walk down the street.... kind of like what you should be doing if there was a real zombie epidemic!!

Don't listen to me though, what would i know; just read the review.....

With all the movies on zombies apocalypse, and the recurring (and freakishly frequent) dreams I have about being in the middle of a zombie epidemic, I can only conclude that since my dreams tell me this may be an inevitable demise for the human race, ya might as well start training to prepare for this sh*t! I just ran down the driveway to the bottom of the hill (Lee's house has an insanely long driveway where the entire estate is on the top of a hill) to try to escape a crowd of imaginary zombies that were only there in my head. I'll admit I probably scared the crap out of the neighbors

GET THIS APPLICATION!!!! It's available for the new Verizon "anDroid"... I'm getting one of these for Christmas now ----

Halloween Fun (or Un Fun) depending on your frame of reference..

2009-10-31T21:13:00.000-07:00

So after getting shafted by two separate circles of friends tonight to hang out with them and bailed on me at the last minute, I was left despondent on what otherwise looks to always be a generically fun weekend: Halloween!

Yes, it's for kids, and depending on how fanatical you are on your religious backgrounds, it's certainly a day when most people can live their lives as if they were hallucinating, but for me, it reminds me of thanksgiving.. just a good clean day of yuletide and gathering together amongst close friends. Unfortunately, seeing as how those in this worcester area are becoming less and less visible as they're either moved away, or in jail or doing the married thing.. Seeing how i had nothing to lose, I took advantage of my disguise i had bought for this holiday, and took to wandering the streets as a homeless person down water street where the "Lucky Dog Music Hall" is.

At the last minute, my friends Cyra and paul saved me to go with them and do something on this otherwise melancholy evening, but the catch was that i had to remain in worcester..

Going into the lucky dog feels like you're stepping into the "Creature Canteena" in star wars --- how much greater is that surreal effect when it's halloween?? To keep my self entertained, i kept a log of all that happened at the Lucky Dog tonight on October 31st 09 while watching a few bands headlined by an all girl band named "Manashas" do their thing .. or maybe it was a bunch of dudes dressed as zombies?
Do I sound jaded? Naw, couldn't be. Actually, I'm just trying to be overdramatic for effect. Anway, before i forget...

10:30 PM (1 hour ago)

The scene is the lucky dog music hall this evening.. after being shafted by fickle who make up whats left of humanity this evening..

10:36 PM (1 hour ago)

..and have inadvertedly screwed me over by cancelling plans at the last minute i find my self wandering the streets as a homeless man. simply because im disguised as one.. on the streets i see vixens dressed as prostitutes or naughty nurses.. could it be halloween in Worcester, or is it any other day?

10:40 PM (1 hour ago)

Alas.. i cannot say

11:23 PM (1 hour ago)

So then i meet this girl my friend Cira brings who coincidntly looks like Miss Connecticut (my old sorta girlfriend) but evidently is supposed to be dressed as Thelma from Scooby Doo..

1:26 PM (59 minutes ago)

.. And then it hit me big like bad news.. dear God... all this time miss Connecticut sorta looked like THELMA from SCOOBY DOO. .

11:44 PM (42 minutes ago)

..The next band that played couldn't hire their own fly girl models to go up on stage so they computer programmed their own and projected em on a white screen behind them..

11:48 PM (40 minutes ago)

I'm not gonna lie tho, the animations were kind of hot.. and to the drunk n half blind that made up the crowd, it had achieved its desired effect..

11:49 PM (39 minutes ago)

..To make them believe they had spent a night in heaven. . .

Then craving a pizza, I stumbled out of the place and discovered nothing was open. Also, to make matters worse, I had foolishly ripped of my plastic bracelet that confirms I had paid to get into to the music hall. 'Just as well i thought.. In fact, I had to train a client tomorrow in the morning.

12:04 AM (24 minutes ago)

.. got hit by a deep pothole puddle that a car splashed on me

Stumbling back to my car I accidently jaywalked in front of a state police cruiser, but I think the cop had seen enough action for one evening. And before I got in my car, someone coked up(?) yelled at me, "Hey! are you supposed to be the guy on highland street that stands by the corner of park ave? or are you Willy Nelson?"

Willy nelson??? What the @^&*

Back in the grind.....

2009-10-03T22:56:00.000-07:00

I've had a few last couple months that were very rough in some ways, but the good news is that I'm that much closer to finishing the collected works that most of my friends now probably think are a total myth... well!

Anyway, in the meantime, for your entertainment I offer you a series of videos I've been given on youtube that serve no purpose in particular. Enjoy!

Terminator Salvation subplot: Skynet in Worcester

2009-05-31T21:56:00.000-07:00

I just saw "Terminator Salvation" and was inspired to write this completely absurd but realistic inclusion to the story - a testimony to life in good Ol' Worcester county..

In 2018 A.D. in this still currently used calendar, no one still really knew what they were doing. There were pockets of resistance here and there, all led in reality more by an icon, and idea, more than an actual person.. this "John Connor" who would deliver the remaining human survivors from extermination by the hands of artificially educated machines that had literally started a new race of beings on the landscapes -- the landscapes that once would have been considered by observers looking into our civilizations from afar as Planet Earth. The new race of machines were everything we would have wished to aspire to be as a testament to our never understanding that life should have really been governed by more metaphysics than logic or even emotion....

The irony was that the few who had lived to see apocalypse unfold in all it's inglorious abomination, were left to ponder if there was any real meaning as to why they had been left behind. It took 2 and a half years after SKYNET unleashed it's 'busy child' out of Cheyenne Mountain and had taken out 6 billion humans when it became self aware, to fully unleash the horrid reality of destruction it brought - all due to a logic that was given it when there is no spirituality to accompany it. People always knew that we were slowly digging our own graves when we kept speeding up processing and a sadistic quest to make something originally inanimate into artificial intelligence. Evidently, no one had really read Neil Goldberg's "Long Live Music"

Sadly, when SKYNET had finally seen humanity as a threat, it reasoned (one would argue logically), that humans would be all too ready to retaliate if any would survive the nuclear assaults SKYNET had inflicted upon the landscapes in an albeit delayed 'Judgement day'. Systematically, it began infiltrating various remnants of cities and setting bases in every once civilized urban hotspot all over north America and Europe and Asia, smoking out any remaining human scavengers who decided to live among the ruins by simply terminating them by surprise and on site. SKYNET'S weapons, invented by an artificial intelligence were in other leagues compared to the primitive projectile weapons humans were able to futilly hold on to after reality had been altered: they may have well been designed by aliens. The models and designs SKYNET had were not intended to somehow derive emotional satisfaction to their users but simply execute efficiency above all else for killing.

It is with this established background in mind that in North America, despite all that had happened, and despite the dire straits the human race found itself in, that the city of Worcester of all places, was completely overlooked by SKYNET's legions of HK Aerial Ships and Tank Units. When T-600 terminators combed the landscapes of what once was the United States, most humans lived in terror of the threat, unable to stop this flood of machined evil, and simply took to living in the recesses below the Earth. But Worcester, call it being oblivious, call it being unmotivated to make any kind of change there or contribution to the world based on the evidence of years past that saved it then, remained in business as usual mode. People kept cutting each other off in traffic (at least until the fuel supplies into the city ran short). People still kept getting mugged on highland street, and people still decided to try to make a buck holding up cardboard signs by the corners of park ave and route 9 and although no longer making money since currency was obsolete, still hoarding great wealth at the expense of pedestrians.

It it was a slap in the face to the people of Worcester that they were still there, no one seemed to note. SKYNET for one reason or another, had overlooked the city of Worcester and its people as a legitimate threat. Consequentially, no missles had ever landed there. No HDK'S HK's or even terminators had ever ventured into the urban regions. Perhaps Skynet's artificial intelligence reasoned that the people there were already doing themselves more harm than good in general, so uninspired, so devoid of any idealism, that SKYNET would lose reasources waging a land war or even nuclear plutonium resources in their missles to waste on a city that was already in it's own form of purgatory. If the world had changed around it for the worse, it wouldn't make much of a damn difference there..

coming soon.. part II

The birth of a superhero -- part I

2009-05-23T09:51:00.000-07:00

For days Eva noticed she'd get up at 6 A.M. no matter what. It was as if some sadistic circadian rhythm in her being wanted to torture her for the rest of the day and keep her tired if she was naive enough to believe that by getting up early the world would be a better place if she existed on little sleep. Since she had gone to bed at two the night before and it was only 6 A.M., Eva reckoned how stupid it would be to just get up and do the requisite 'errand's' that civilized nature just piles up on someone no matter where they're at. Getting up early sounded like a responsible idea; only she had tried that route two days ago, and even though she didn't have to work till 10, going to the bank and food shopping during rush hour proved to be pointless since she spent an hour just lined up in traffic just to get to a strip mall 8 blocks down the street. And then, to top it off, some asshole construction team decided it would be most practical to fix a traffic light at the most inconvenient time of the day instead of the middle of the night when it would make more sense to do so. Thus, detours all over the one way streets of Dover city were created that cost many a person to be late for work and lose their jobs just because that was union rules. By the time she was done with her 'errands' she too had been late for work anyway...

But today was a brand new day; this was not yesterday. As she lay there at 6 A.M. staring at the the plaster designs on her bedroom ceiling that if she squinted long enough in a daze always seemed to resemble unbelievably bizarre faces of supervillians staring down at her, she remembered about how she had read about "The World Superhero Registry" on the internet: a community of well meaning geeks who while wanting to make a difference in the world and become superheroes to fight evil, are not willing to go the extra mile and actually physically train for the fucking part.

"It's just a matter of time before one of these wedge-rats end up getting their ass kicked beyond recognition and the government starts to outlaw adults to be able to run around in costumes"
she thought wistfully to herself..

At any rate, she had to pee-pee. But so frustrated at the trickery of so much as sitting upright from previous experiences when she'd wake up prematurely, she decided to hold it in.

She had started to reason this: The trick is to not so much as move a muscle if you happen to wake up prematurely. As soon as you do, your inefficiency will 'think' you need to start saving the world and shit and blindly force yourself to get up and do something responsible -- or at least that's how she felt about it. And that's how you start the day making stupid decisions. Her sister had been an activist who came from a whole family of activists (meaning she did too) who always were preaching about 'making a difference'... a great idea if you actually had money to carry out these endeavors. In Eva's case, she had no money. Better to work at a Popeye's and try to pay the bills slowly than borrow loans of $10,000 on her own and sucker herself donating all her energy to a non profit organization that needed people to carry out their labour but never payed volunteers for any of their time and effort. A lesson harshly learned when she had gone on a trip to Indonessia last summer and make a difference shutting down illegal tube socks manufacturing plants that use small children as labor there, but then be in the hole 12 grand when she got back ( rent doesn't stay suspended in animation) and dammit, never even get so much as a handshake for her efforts by "Pea-peace" the green-embracingfanatically leftist liberal organization that swayed her into the adventure.

Sage's wisdom now told her that the right thing to do was zone out in bed. Which within, 15 minutes, she was able to think clearly again and stay relaxed and find herself dreaming a weird dream about how Mick Foley the wrestler used to work at a giant superstore that didn't exist in real life called "LeStayhungy's" and inexplicably throw pizzas at the green shirts in the clothing isles.

When she woke up, at least she felt better. She was already almost late for work, but big deal. In fact, for the first time as long as she could remember, Eva never felt so healthy and awake as she had then. The funny thing is that when you actually do get a good nights sleep, your mind actually rebuilds for once and you since life is nothing more than a state of consciousness, you don't waste a bonus day lost in a daze..

"Imagine if the entire country could actually learn this secret about actually GETTING enough sleep before they pretend to contribute to civilization and go to work" she thought to herself. "Creeping shit! The idiots that populate this city could bring back tourism here for once"

After showering, it was too late to get to work, but Eva was so relaxed after an actual good nights sleep she was calm enough to realize
it wasn't the end of the world if she didn't make shitty seafood for customers that don't need that in their system after all: Getting another job wasn't going to be that hard after all. Besides, she worked at a freaking Popeye's.
This was great! She had an ability most people on earth take for granted almost every day of their lives It was as she had a superpower. She could think calmy and collectively for once - an ability that no drug she ever took could duplicate the high of actually having confidence that kind of conscious confidence. As she sat there making a pot of tea Eva reasoned: she seemed to have a shitload of 'friends' who really weren't even friends with her. Why the hell does she hang out with them anyway? She was definately more interesting than them. At least she sculpted for a hobby. Most of them, their biggest hobby was sitting their ass on a couch and watching not even the cliff hanging finale of "Scandinavean Idolatry". When she'd try to organize that her circle of friends around here go out, she was always the one to instigate the fucking things. Even though they would otherwise just sit at home and go online and eventually look at porn, no one else had the 'cajones' to make any kind of significant social gathering, even if it's just dinner at a restaurant happen amongts her circle of friends. Without even needing to so much as smoke a joint, she reasoned that these people that would use her for companionship or only want to hang out with her when it was convenient.

As she sat there on the porch enjoying a mango and a sangria for the sheer joy of it and not because of some alchoholic addiction, Eva reckoned that she had might have discovered her calling in life.

"The world superhero registry: A collection of people who ironically realize they have too much time on their hands and that actually gives them the ability to do something significant instead of probably ruining the environment by working for industry" she reasoned..

"If these idiots are going to play pajama police and try to make a real difference in the world, perhaps she should exercise her newly found superpower: the superpower of brutal honesty"

That afternoon, she checked her "Your-space" online social networking account.. How many of these fuckers were actually not really friends but just acquintances???

"It's all Facebook's fault!" Eva thought. "If only they had a fucking option to label most of these people under an 'aquintances' category and not just as 'friends' my life wouldn't be so fucking confusing"

"Elise Brown...
Roger Dautren..
Izzy San Fernando... I met these people once about two years ago at a party and shared a moment about how we all liked watching Jim Carrey movies. Why the hell are they my "friends"??? They ought to be under my 'connections' folder. Too bad it doesn't *)(#*$ exist!!!"

As she went through the list, Eva noticed some of her closer friends had profiled Eva as a BFF...

"Luly Panamera... I fucking called the girl twice last weekend and she never got back to me.
If you have a real significant friendship going on with someone, then out of sheer respect It takes at at most one or two days for them to get back to you if you call them.. How the fuck am I her BFF??? You'd think in this decrepit day and age of deteriorating relationships, one would simply be happy that someone even gives a shit enough to call you"

Then it dawned on her.... She was loosing her cool. It's as if the whole world was oblivious to this truth from lack of sleep: everybody always in a rush and shit. At this exponential rate of generic relationships of this day and age nobody really had any real friends because nobody had the attention span to even hold a real friend for more than a week before they inevitably forgot each other existed.

She used to work for a school newspaper, and most people didn't even have the attention span to read any short story of hers that was longer than 5 pages. Everybody just simply drifted... After unfriending 641 of the 667 people on her "Your space" friends list, and putting on a cape and tights that afternoon, she decided to go to the streets and preach enlighten the masses... No time to get in shape for those spandex.

The show so far... Dalat has turned 'heel' lately..

2009-05-12T12:08:00.000-07:00

Part one: always turn on your bathroom light in the morning! !

So I woke up this morning and brushed my teeth in the bathroom with the lights off, illuminated only by the rays of light coming through the bathroom window as my only
way to see... Staring at my own reflection, it looked like it was going to be one of those days where I wouldn't even have to comb my hair: no bedhead, showered last night, and everything looked like it was nice and in place; it didn't even look like I needed to shave. All facial follicles had inexplicably not grown overnight: these are the classic signs of what looks like should be a good day. It wasn't until a few hours later, I was doing errands around the city when I stared at my own reflection in the rear view mirror of my car when I realized I had scruff after all that was hidden from me detecting it by the bad lighting in my bathroom. I hate when that sh*t happens! I was actually so aggravated about it that I literally drove half way across the city and back to my house when I noticed it just to shave. On the way there, I happened to see for the second time around here, believe it or not, a HOT HOMELESS girl in traffic with a 'please help' sign up. She was on the corner of Belmont St and the route 9 exit off 290. I swear this is a Clark student doing some sort of sociology experiment. I'm wondering if this has ever happened to anybody or is it just me..

The thing I don't get about follicles is this: they seem completely to work against the human race after a certain age. I'm assuming girls probably got beef with this problem too, but for guys I think it really sucks. You start getting hair in places
that have no use for it, and even if there was a practical application for it, I don't see how a few pathetic patches of hair growing in that particular area would merit any benefit unless it was as thick as a dog's coat of fur. Then you wouldn't need clothes.

So all I'm doing today is killing time until tonight. I will now be in Worcester county all day, and if anybody reads this in time, join us at the Pho Dakao on 593 park ave at 7. I've discovered that at least for now, the Pho' serves dishes that are 3 times better caliber than the mess at the Dalat. I hope it's just a phase, because I really truly do love that restaurant from the bottom of my soul, but lately it's like they've stumbled back in time to the stone age of southeast Asian cuisine..

Part Two: I'm having relationship problems..

I never thought I'd see the day: Folks, I hate to say it, but lately, the DALAT is kind of starting to grow old on me, but I'll be quick to point out why: THEY NEED TO GET A NEW STAFF THAT CARES FOR IT'S CUSTOMERS AGAIN. My friends all feel like they're getting short changed there every time they go eat. We kept going there trying to support the cause: people might remember how back at WPI, me and my sister almost single-handedly, brought the entire WPI community to be aware of the existence of this fine restaurant, thus bringing in people by the dozens.. If you were from WPI and had heard from a friend about the Dalat, I promise you that that friend of a friend was either friends with me or my sister somehow, but so much for gratitude..

I hope Kevin isn't reading this; Kevin if you are, I'm sorry man!! I love your restaurant, but unless you're working the kitchen personally, the service there lately is starting to 'blow chunks', as they gracefully in upper class circles. Sadly, this is the closest I've come to ending a relationship with a noun within the last 6 months. I'm not saying I'll never visit there again, but if there's anybody I've missed who still lives in the Worcester area, you might want to consider the Pho Dakao down the street during these pre apocalyptic times. The Dalat don't even get our orders of water right! and to add insult to injury, whenever our party is around on a Tuesday night to dine out there, our food always as a rule tastes like it is four days old. I swear they've been doing that on purpose just for our party, since I think they assume Cyra is too loud when she laughs there. All I can say is if you're going to dine there these days, go there only only when Kevin is the chef, and the little bratty Asian high school girl isn't waitressing there. And yet,

"we're always attracted to people with stoicism, but ironically we never take advantage of the fact we live in a shitty world to prove how stoic we really are. We'd rather whine.."

Enough is enough though. Writing this email has killed another 20 minutes before dinner at the Pho. Looking forward to it!

An Essay on essays about Ridley Scott's character "Ripley" from Aliens Franchise

2009-05-04T08:14:00.000-07:00

So I finally got back to keeping updates about my life again and for some psychological need of acceptance or recognition I've decided to continue posting
them up on a blogger like everybody else. And to those 4 people out there that read this on a regular basis, JD, Lizzy's Friends, Marty, and some girl in Oregon, you'll be happy to know that very soon, My new website, EDU-BOLICS, will become the new official website to pick up some of my written works.

So I've been very busy trying to get this derivative website up to sell some of my artwork. But I've also been working on my second book which I will brag is going to be one of the most comprehensive guides to Exercise Science and the art of getting in shape available on the market. This book
I personally feel can provide a great service to anyone who would be too frustrated
to have to figure out how to come up with a legitimate workout program for themselves that will actually work. It provides enough comprehensive illustrative workout programs that if you follow to the letter, no matter how out of shape or you are or how clueless you may be to being in tune with the art of physical movement and development, you're going to have excellent workout programs to follow that can help you for the rest of your life!
For those of us who didn't play for a division 1 school and get pampered by strength coaches or personal trainers who showed us the real secrets to getting in shape and improving
the physical abilities of human movement, this book is definitively for you ! And I'm not kidding either!! I'll vouch for it by saying every workout program I've ever learned in the last 10 years on exercise
science and as a NASM certified Trainer, and every little secret I've learned for
strengthening muscles from my experiences training various people will be
chronicled in this book! My point? Buy the book when it comes out -- or forever hold your peace and don't complain if you are tired, obese and out of shape after that!

So anyway, I spent the recent weekend watching the ALIEN movie series and as you can guess I'm quite hooked on it right now. I know these movies came out 15 years ago or so, so "big deal" you're thinking. Yeah, you're right! This entire post is not a "big deal". I'm just telling you what I did this weekend. It all started on Friday at "Finders Pub" when I went to attend the weekly tradition of meeting with a bunch of guys at Finders Pub in West Boylston. Somebody had mentioned the recent epidemic of the Swine Flu Virus as a topic of conversation, and how a recent radio MC
had gotten fired for slandering Mexicans as being the root of the problem about starting the swine flu. As racist as that may be, it made people talk about illegal aliens, which eventually in my mind reminded me of the movie ALIEN. And lo, when I got back home friday night, I discovered that my housemate Joe had the entire collection to the movies from ALIEN. The rest of the weekend, as we say, is history.
I spent all day Saturday with the Uptegrove Sisters watching ALIENS, and then last night after work I watched ALIEN 3. I even won 30 bucks this weekend when I bet Joe
that there was supposedly a 3rd race of Aliens in the ALIEN franchises that appeared in the film that no one remembers. Woke up this morning and watched ALIEN 4 and
and like someone needlessly obsessed with a topic and a free morning to kill, after a bowl of cereal decided to go online to learn more about ALIENS..

For some reason, there's dozens of essays on Sigourney Weaver's character "Ripley" from the movie series "Aliens" smeared all over the internet. For the sake of the common good, I've decided to post the best dozen links to various angles people can play out praising Ripley as the ultimate heroine in action movies. If you want to waste your entire after morning like I just did over a bowl of cereal, here is
some great literature concerning the absurd and over exaggerated sociological importance of Ripley in the grand scheme of things for you to ponder .. No, I couldn't make these hyperlinks! I suck at troubleshooting html.. Just read em!

http://pov.imv.au.dk/Issue_16/section_1/artc4A.html

http://www.helium.com/items/132886-women-in-horror-films-ripley-the-alien-and-the-monstrous-feminine

http://www.freewebs.com/mgutman/narrativeanalysis.htm

http://www.megaessays.com/viewpaper/46432.html

http://www.horrordiva.com/new/essays/alien.php

And, oooh, this was a good one!..

http://www.notcoming.com/reviews/alien/

http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v232/nullasalus/blog/film/aliens_goldstein.jpg&imgrefurl=http://thistosay.blogspot.com/2008/12/james-camerons-aliens-1986.html&usg=__JdztygOiEl9o7uBuknaBgSfrq48=&h=526&w=350&sz=32&hl=en&start=6&sig2=5MJoDIL9X1kUm65nJgIe7w&um=1&tbnid=I07A0fbu3HLIAM:&tbnh=132&tbnw=88&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dessay%2Bon%2Baliens%2Bripley%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26um%3D1&ei=0Bf_SZ7CIaXmlQfawvDmCg

http://www.physicsroom.org.nz/2cents/alien.htm

http://www.exampleessays.com/viewpaper/94979.html

http://books.google.com/books?id=fxuJfdjqnzoC&pg=PA214&lpg=PA214&dq=essay+on+aliens+ripley&source=bl&ots=jvQR3lPxFJ&sig=9Lx3JATUdaoawv-BVmNM9kCjl3A&hl=en&ei=7vv-SefEDomeM7CKidME&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=10

http://www.dreamessays.com/customessays/Culture/9737.htm

Inside my mind, Vol #23 THE MOST OBNOXIOUS POST IN THE WORLD

2009-04-16T15:06:00.000-07:00

Folks! No, I'm not dead.. I've been pretty busy working on a new book that I'm writing, sorry I haven't been able to update properly. In fact, I've been so busy, I haven't had time to collect my memoirs and post them online...

With that in mind, this week, if this post wasn't bad enough, I've got a sub writing
the rest of this post who will be playing the role of me this week. It's not even
like my writing style, and to add insult to injury, I'm curious if anyone will be able to note what's going on. I'm sorry if it's so redundant, but I didn't write the thing! So without further ado, my post this week is the most weak and insincere one I've written ever. Let's see if anyone can figure out who was ridiculous enough to have the honor of subbing for me this week...

What Do We Consider Important

If religion is not as important to people in New England as it is in other parts of the country, then what do we consider most important?

Honestly, I would need Gallup to produce another poll or reveal more information than what was in the report I mentioned in my last post to really get to the answer. But, since I've lived in Worcester, MA for 85% of my life and... since this city is perfectly situated within a 1 hour drive to all of the major cities in NE except for Portland, ME (2+ hours) - I'm going to make some assumptions and take a guess at what we consider important.

We consider community to be important. You might be saying to yourself, "that's a no brain-er" or "that's true in other regions of the country as well". So, that brings me to the type of questions I would like Gallup to study.

For example,

* "How are you involved your community?"
* "To which organizations do you give your time and money?"
* "How much time in your week do you dedicate to community involvement?"
* "How much money do you give each year to community organizations?"

I believe we would rank very high in a national poll about community involvement. People here are highly ambitious and sometimes involved in several community organizations at once. My next post will discuss some of these organizations.

What Do We Consider Important

If religion is not as important to people in New England as it is in other parts of the country, then what do we consider most important?

Honestly, I would need Gallup to produce another poll or reveal more information than what was in the report I mentioned in my last post to really get to the answer. But, since I've lived in Worcester, MA for 85% of my life and... since this city is perfectly situated within a 1 hour drive to all of the major cities in NE except for Portland, ME (2+ hours) - I'm going to make some assumptions and take a guess at what we consider important.

We consider community to be important. You might be saying to yourself, "that's a no brain-er" or "that's true in other regions of the country as well". So, that brings me to the type of questions I would like Gallup to study.

For example,

* "How are you involved your community?"
* "To which organizations do you give your time and money?"
* "How much time in your week do you dedicate to community involvement?"
* "How much money do you give each year to community organizations?"

I believe we would rank very high in a national poll about community involvement. People here are highly ambitious and sometimes involved in several community organizations at once. My next post will discuss some of these organizations.

What Do We Consider Important

If religion is not as important to people in New England as it is in other parts of the country, then what do we consider most important?

Honestly, I would need Gallup to produce another poll or reveal more information than what was in the report I mentioned in my last post to really get to the answer. But, since I've lived in Worcester, MA for 85% of my life and... since this city is perfectly situated within a 1 hour drive to all of the major cities in NE except for Portland, ME (2+ hours) - I'm going to make some assumptions and take a guess at what we consider important.

We consider community to be important. You might be saying to yourself, "that's a no brain-er" or "that's true in other regions of the country as well". So, that brings me to the type of questions I would like Gallup to study.

For example,

* "How are you involved your community?"
* "To which organizations do you give your time and money?"
* "How much time in your week do you dedicate to community involvement?"
* "How much money do you give each year to community organizations?"

I believe we would rank very high in a national poll about community involvement. People here are highly ambitious and sometimes involved in several community organizations at once. My next post will discuss some of these organizations.

Gangs of New York...

2009-03-31T22:59:00.000-07:00

" A rare scene in the movie, where Leonardo DiCaprio shoots the breeze with a 19th Italian Rat Pit Bookie "

For no particular reason today I went to the Dalat restaurant twice in one day and brought a DVD copy of "Gangs of New York" both times into the restaurant so I'd have something to read in case my friends who were supposed to meet me there would be late. I showed up there for lunch to meet with my friend Hamel who out of the blue decided to head up north from Florida to visit (why he didn't tell anyone he was coming up was beyond me, but I've come to accept the eccentricities that make up anyone that once dwelled in Worcester county (including me) ). I think that's what this town does to you; If you don't get lost living vicariously watching TV all day, you start to do more and more random things to keep things entertaining since Worcester has almost no artistic culture to offer that can last more than a week around here.. (I think ice capades was in town last week).. At any rate, he showed up in time so I was never able to read the back of the DVD like I wanted to, so then after spending the day wandering around in the woods I came back into worcester for dinner at the Dalat and accidentally bumped into Laurel and Lee, who upon noticing I had a copy of "Gangs of New York" in my hand proceeded to invite me to come watch the movie at their house after dinner...

So one might wonder what the movie was about: as far as I gather, two ethnic groups of New Yorkers in 1847 hate each other for getting on each others nerves. One claims to be a "Native American" crew of original settlers who can't stand all the Irish hanging out everywhere. Leonardo DiCaprio wants to prove them otherwise and lead sort of a revolt. Cameron Diaz does a great job as the village slut, and props had to be given to Daniel Day Lewis as madcap 'conservative' community leader with an insane talent for throwing knives like some sort of video game boss living in 19th century New York. Without wanting to give out any spoilers, the movie tragically ends when all hell breaks loose and the provocations from every clique in New York annoying each other senselessly turns out into an all out riot that ends up practically razing the city to the ground .. (luckily there's more to the plot so I didn't give out to much)

Nevertheless, I was introduced to a tragic story of xenophobic communities senselessly warring against each other. -- And even though it was partially exaggerated historical fiction, it got me thinking; most wars get started over the trivial stupidity of two or more communities not being able to settle their differences. And once either party get caught up in the metaphysical momentum of resentment by letting a few brutal incidents or arguments in ideology spark up a needless stream of un-parried outrage or major battles, then eventually, even if generations later, two different groups of people hate each other and can't even originally remember why.

If only we humans had the capacity to zoom out of our own existence, and with a more macroscopic point of view, see how even an accidental or unfair grievance done against our respective community is the same thing as getting a mosquito bite if only we as a community were strong enough to absorb it like that.

What we really need to understand is this true universal axiom of truth: If you're strong enough to absorb any blow, you don't need to retaliate because such impudent attacks against you aren't strong enough to bring you to your knees anyway...... Of course, we in this very age are hypocrites, me included. Anyone can rant about giving peace a chance, but then again, no one I know has had to live in a war torn country so it's probably different. Give us one major tragedy and all hell' break loose and we would probably turn against each other just like the Irish in this absurdly entertaining movie... It's ironic really; war torn countries would want to be like us and live in our civilized peace. And yet we who are in civilized peace -- we're too dumb to appreciate serenity so we need to live vicariously through movies to keep our lives 'interesting' so we watch.... Gangs of New York..

All the way home, I couldn't help but think what I would have done if I was Leonardo DiCaprio, and that this tragedy of the two sides of disheveled New Yorkers could have been avoided if only a third party decided to attack both sides during their melee --- but disguised as an alien invasion. I'm talking real aliens and not the national guard coming in to restore order. Why aliens? Because for once in the course of human history, all races of people could put their comparatively trivial differences aside and bond against one common unholy enemy.... Any terrorist group that could pull off attacks while disguised as aliens and willing to take all the heat from the rest of the world could very well grudgingly be commended for their actions.. ABSURD? It could work....

My housemate who seemed like he was quite stoned when I got back from watching the movie at Lee's house told me that that idea had already been used: "That's what the Watchmen was all about"

I however, had my doubts since the plot line isn't exactly about terrorists disguised as aliens who's mission statement is simply trying to get everybody to work together..

And now that I've got back, I am happy to announce that real soon, this site will be updated and upgraded. It will have a more professional look to it so that customers and inquirers can finally take me seriously, despite the completely reckless trains of free association that I dispell out on my blogs..

EPILOGUE...

2009-03-30T19:20:00.001-07:00

Here is a classic reply to my last blog entry... In the spirit of true oncore entertainment, this is a classic..

Hello With Love,

my name is Sera a 24 years old girl, i am happy passing through your profile in this hour to seek lovely man who is lovely and good relationship, i am willing to share my love to any honest man who is so caring, helpful to discuse an impotant thing with him
and i am interested please i would like to know more about you,your likes and dislikes with your favorite cuisine and hobbies,remember age or distance does not matter but what matters is love,for further communication contact me via email (Sera1nlove@yahoo.com) that will enable me to explain myself well to you and as well send my pictures for you to know whom i am.
Thanks And Remain Blessed.
Yours New Friend
Sera.

Lol, does this sound familiar? I just had this message in my inbox! It sounds almost identical to how your conversation started out. I don't know what other people say about the Jackdogg blog, but thanks to your recent posting I realized immediately this is a scam and some african male is trying to get me to send him money. Another life has been saved thanks to JackDogg!

- J. Breller

The "Lee Pigeon" Love Letters...

2009-03-22T18:58:00.000-07:00

An excerpt on romantic adventures on my blogs.....

Dear Mariner,

You seem like a guy with on my wish list. Out of all the guys profiles I see, yours really caught my eye. You really do seem like an interesting one. Would you mind if I got to know more about you? If there is any way you’d like to hear from me, I’d love to hear from you. I’m new to this online dating thing, but I definitely know what I like, and I would like to talk and learn more about you. My private email is sharon.nelson@ymail.com

Love,
Sharon xxxx

Sharon xxxx,

I appreciate the comments about liking my profile, even though there's hardly anything on there. It must be that metaphysical bit that I wrote up about life.. I guess it sums up what I'm more or less all about. Yes, I feel that life is best living in the moment but not 'for' the moment.. cheap thrills seem to go away, and although that's fun, ultimately for me, I don't think that can ever replace life when it's divine and you're so with it that there's no anxiety about the future and you are completely there at that moment in time. That all seems to be built on solid relationships, solid friendships, solid beliefs and abilities within oneself and others that are dear to me.

Truth is, I've never online dated before so I'm not 'proficient' at this either, but I guess for your end that's a good thing.. I can tell you this though, I like being with people who, yes, are cool, but more than that, people you can just communicate with that aren't hung up on mere words but know that we both know what we're all about. I would be interested in knowing more about you. My real name is Lee Pigeon, by the way..

Dear Lee,

Well like I said to start off my name is Sharon,I come from a rare combination , Dad is American while mom is Nigerian. My Father died some months back and i had to relocate to meet my mom in Nigeria, I don't really know him that well because he was always on business trips .. My mom passed away weeks back , after she was attacked by some armed men here in Nigeria , so unfortunately you won't have a chance to meet her in person, yet you'll see her influence in my heart. I speak fluent English and my native language. . Tell me more about yourself, anything at all will do. I like the fact that you are straightforward about the fact that you are looking for a serious relationship. So many men feel like they have to be in the "I'm not looking for anything serious" mode, because they think that's what women want to hear. Thanks for taking a chance and just showing who you are. So I should probably tell you a little more about me.
I consider myself to be very simple. I believe that men needs to be treated with respect and as a equal partner in a relationship, but all I seem to find is the ones that does not know how to respond to that or is untrusting to it. I feel like u should treat somebody with respect and like they are a person not a piece of meat or whatever. I am the type of person who wants somebody to feel wanted not just as a trophy. I am a very affectionate person and I love to cuddle, I like to show somebody how I feel not just telling them. I love to be close to somebody whether it is in the bed on the couch or wherever. I guess my dreams would be is to be happy and have a family my goals in life I want to go into business for my self one day but that will be a while from now. I guess I want to work on my love life and be happy first. I have always wanted a child of my own and to have a family, but I guess when the time is right it will happen.
I like to play sports just as much as I do watching them. Most of all i like to spend time with who I am with, and cuddle up and watch a movie. It is my opinion that we all want the same thing in regards to a partner, and that most of us either do not know how or is scared to and sabotage themselves from getting it. Ok, I like the outdoors, but I don't care about hunting or fishing, well I will fish with an un-baited hook if it means I will get to spend some time with someone I care about. There are a lot of things I like doing as in dancing, cooking, camping, etc. My ultimate goal and what I think would make me happy is to get back on my feet and have a man by my side that I love and loves me, and children that I can raise and have fun with.
I am very relationship oriented and I believe life is too short to waste. When I am in a relationship I am committed, honest, and loyal. I think that falling in love is always a good thing, even if it doesn't work out. There is always something to learn from being with someone, and happy times and memories should be cherished. Friendship comes first for me. That is not to say I never get hurt because I do. I have been burnt so bad. My last relationship ended on a very sad note for me but I do not believe in regrets. I tell you this because I cannot predict the future. For some people a relationship has to be all or nothing...I don't feel that way.
It is obvious that I don't know how to keep a good man since I am 23 and never married, but I never in the past nor do I intend to intentionally hurt someone by cheating, mistreating, or abusing them. Ok, for my questions to you. What are some of your goals, hopes and dreams? How long have you been single? Do you have any brothers or sisters? Do you have any kids? If yes, How many? If there is something you want to say but you think you might be rambling or it is not important, it is ok, to me it is important. Well...I see I wrote a novel here, I am looking forward to getting to know you better. I guess I will go for now hope to hear from you soon.

Lots of Love,
Sharon Cares

Sharon,

Wow, that's alot to respond with. If you call it a novel, it's a nice one though.
About me? what would you like to know? Or say, what could I say in an email without writing my own 'novel'?

I guess I told you a little about me but still. First off, I can tell you the physical traits about me.. I'm about 5'9.5, darkish skinned, brown hair and people say I have really nice eyes. I live a weird life, some may consider it a pretty interesting story but to fast foward a bit in the recent years, yes, I studied engineering at a local tech school around here and had a promising gig to assist work in engineering and even was going to work at MIT's Soldier Design Institute for Nanotechnologies in Boston, but took a slight metaphysical detour and work as a personal trainer at the Boston Sports Club in Boston there instead, go figure.

I definitely like being outdoors more than indoors, and one of the nicest feelings in the world is going to a mountaintop and simply just staring until the veils of reality come down and the world is this paradise again. I don't have any kids and the only family I have really is my immediate family. My parents live in Massachusetts, my sister in Kansas City, and my brother in New York City. The rest of my 8 million relatives live in Mexico as far as I know, and I never see them although I'd like to sometime again like had when I visited them some 8 years back. The rest I call family are my 'extended family'; you know, those close friends you grow up with and are loyal and dear for life. I guess you could say I have been fortunate enough to have lots of good friends, but alas, I don't date much. I haven't had my share of bad girlfriends because thankfully, I have always had good vibes with my female friends and we respect each other very well. My last girlfriend was before Bush first became prez.. I guess I'm too much of a romantic. I'd always let fate take it's course and I'd wait for sparks to fly , but when they did, we both knew that in the way our unideal world runs its course, it was not meant to be. But I'm not afraid of trying..Maybe I'm being too 'deep' sorry...Either way, I'd enjoy hearing more about you. Email, me back if you like..

Hello My Loving Lee

Good to read from you,Hope you know that i am presently residing down here in Nigeria at the moment,You seem like you are very down to earth and laid back, and that is good. It's good to see you are affectionate and like showing your feelings. I am the same as well. I believe that partners are 100% equal in a relationship and both should be able to feel they can trust each other 100% at all times. I feel that any woman who ever disrespects a man is not a woman at all. I am affectionate also and I have no trouble showing it for the right man in public or private. I love to cuddle while watching a good movie, when were in bed, I love to hug and kiss my man at anytime and anywhere it could be a store,mall or just on a sidewalk. You are looking for long term, I am looking for something permanent :-) and I know it takes time and a lot of good effort to form a good relationship. I want a man to be my best friend at all times, my sweetheart, love of my life, my partner and my soul mate all wrapped up into one lovely man.. I would be all of that for him and more,I would love him with all of my heart and have nothing but good feelings for him. He should be a very caring person, with a lot of good feelings, be honest, reliable,pleasant personality and have a sense of humor. I am trying not to ramble here for you but I am looking for the "One". What does that mean to me? He is the person that you can't wait until he comes home from work so you can kiss him and sit down and relax in front of the TV or go out and spend an evening together. The person that just calls to see how your day is going but knows that it just got much better because you are talking to each other. He gives you a lift when you are down and can always make you laugh because you know each other so well.. The person that can simply lay in bed with my head on his chest and our legs interlocked for hours and talk about what's on your mind. He is your best friend, your lover, your equal and if lucky your husband and father of your children. If I didn't scare you by being so serious and this sounds like something that would interest you then we could probably hit it off if you are up for it. I'm not afraid to go for it and this is what I want from life because I deserve the best. I am opening up to you because I read what you had to say and I think you could be the best. You have high standards and that's usually because you expect to get what you give from a relationship.This is almost a page long already. I feel that we have broken the ice and have found some very common grounds between us.

NOTE: I believe we have lots of chemistry together and with that i believe we could make this friendship a long and lasting one if only we are both ready to give in our best and ready to take it to the next level.If you do believe we could acheive this together then i will suggest we delete our profile from the dating site where we met so we wont get distracted by other singles?
Sharon cares

Sharon,

What brings you to Nigeria? like how you think; you can think ahead, but in a good way, and know what you want. Actually, to tell the truth, being on the place for friends site is nothing about what I'm about; I know it sounds naive, but originally, all I wanted was to get to know some cool people but then realized it was mostly a dating site :P I mean, I kinda figured it as soon as I 'signed up' but then sadly, I never really looked at in detail either way since most of the traffic of messages I was getting were primarily "booty calls' from crazy girls who I kind of got the hinting like the more generic sides of life. While I would have to be real and say I can appreciate the idea of a good time, real people are hard to find, and I know that the real cool people you meet aren't so cheap right away anyway and neither am I, so being on the site seemed like sort of a futile cause.

And as much as I used to be shy before about relationships before, I do have lots of good female friends and I love the harmony with them, but you know, the boundaries only go so far and that is fine. But I love focusing more on my special someone, even if I've never met her. It would be nice to enjoy more enchanting moments with a beautiful girl (who's beautiful from the inside as she is outside) who I want to be crazy about.

But I'll say this. I don't date much since I don't want to throw it all away with the path of least resistance with chasing generic relationships. If we are kindred spirit, I know that who ever I am even close with has the same kind of strength and self actualization that I'm not depending on that someone to fill, because it's not their role. I would rather compliment her than be their burden. I guess I'm reserved like that, and as much as I can get along with anyone, I know there is a certain kind of girl out there of caliber who I will love with all my heart and I'm dying to be romantic like I was meant to be with.. A true lady deserves the same caliber, and I know that I have and must earn my right to say that..

Please write back if you feel like it,

-Lee

Hello My Dearest Lee,

Thanks for the mail,Immediately i got your email my feelings turn over on you and it seems you are the right man which i have been seacrhing for to bring back the smile which i use to smile when my parent was still alive,For a good relationship to grow we need to trust each other and be honest with each other to acheive what we want to acheive well i am seeking for man which will be the flesh to my flesh and also the bone to my bone,It's true I have never seen you and we have never met,Never shaken Hands or even truly hugged and yet!I know for sure you care for me by the kindness that you give.And our keyboards keep us together doesn't matter where we live. So I am emailing you to put a smile on your face and to let you know in my heart you have a special place.The sun is always shining just above the cloudy haze,as we share friendship across an online maze.We express love and kindness without a face.It comes from deep inside our hearts from a special place. Within our lives we share special dreams, unusual and unique,and it is with our keyboards that we speak.You are a friend of mine from the emails we exchange,I wouldn't know you on the street and it doesn't even seem strange.You have brightened my life with the thoughtfulness you show.Your words encourage me more than you could know.As people change and times keep changing too,one thing stays the same ~the way I feel for you.For this friendship we possess we owe a world of gratitude and debt,because we would not know each other if it wasn't for the net,I will want you to tell me your feelings about me and what you think we can do to acheive our goal.I would love to ask you some few questions...I do like to travel i Help a friend out here with her hairdressing ,if we can make it work Out fir Us i can relocate ,

1: Are you a Good Christian and how strong is ur faith in God and do u mind dating a christian lady like me?
2: Do you really think our conversation could be a way into something lasting for both of us?
3 How serious are you about we getting acquainted and hope you are ready for the task ahead,Thats if truly you find me interesting and like someone that we could easily hit it off
4:I know you might be afraid of somethings which you think might be personal to you but if you dont mind me asking,What are those things.
Thats it for now,I hope you read from you.
Love always.
Sharon cares xxxx

Sharon,

Girl, you're passionate and intense! I like that.. in that parallel world of perfect world, anyone in their right mind can appreciate that.
There's two types of me, the technical 'logical' me, that runs all my affairs and business activities, and then there's the sensual me who likes to think about these things on top of a mountain running in a parrallel world from immediate reality that we can't see down in some valley, that melts like butter when a gal can say something like that. I'm flattered you can be open up like that and are willing to be so real and unguard the heart. All I can do is gently respect that as well..

Here I can try to answer your questions,
1) Am I a good christian? I guess in the end, even, after helping at a church youth group here in Massachusetts, going when I can, and trying to live with harmony with people around me, I'm afraid I can't answer that question, and no one else can replace that path between me and God.
I've known too many christians, who are good people, but because they claim to have knowledge in spiritual matters only from what they just heard from a pastor, never get out of their intellectual comfort zones, and have never developed their emotional resilience, they have never been able to answer the sincere and honest questions that people like my friend Dave have about life..

2. Think the fact that I just somehow responded acknowledges the fact I appreciate the sweet sensation that has been presented before me.. Since I have nothing to hide but maybe something to give, and just enjoy the tender moment here, It might be something lasting longer.. nothing among real people is done in vain for a reason..

3. I am serious enough to want to get acquainted, but if as you probably feel as I do, it's meant to be (God be willing), sooner or later, that's fine but only time and must be real, financial reality of having the luxury of travelling sooner or later could tell. Must say this: emotions are cute; you and I both know that something deeper isn't always based on the emotion but the strength of soul and that blissful feel that comes with it. Only we can respect each other, and if it's meant to be, great.. if it's not, I would be your friend anyway..

4. I'm not truly afraid; I know it sounds vain. Maybe I am a bit vain, girl, I'll admit. The kindred spirit is there, if the chemistry ends up may not being, who but God can control that anyway?. If you meet me and truthfully despite the fact you obviously respect the little of my self I've opened to you is, but I'm not your type, I will respect your realness either way. Let's face it, when it comes to relations, yes there is a physical element, but I truly believe there is more about everything than just a pretty face.
but hey, people can't help something they weren't built into looking as. If you think guys 5"9.5 are too short for you, hey, it is what it is! Far be it from me to grudge you for that..

What else would you like to know about me? What do you do believe? If you lived in a world finally just by yourself, and you had the time to really consider what you want to discover, what would you do in an ideal world?

Hello My Dearest And Loving Lee,

Wow oooo am so happy to hear from u today babe. tell me it hard now for me to believe that u still single? well if you really are still single them why an't you getting a woman in your life? any way tell me again now what you really looking for in life? date, relationship, friend, business partner, or you came to play games here couse i really need to know your mind before going futher with you.
I am still on my knees begging for love, not to a stranger but to one I wanna know ... since you did reply me back. I've been in love with and know it's not a fun. Each night and day I hope and pray that i found the riteful man that will be mine forever . I know it's hard to fine man and trust a man - giving your heart, body and soul, but know it's me that's on my knees swallowing my pride, begging you, please ... once again I say please, If you really serious about me couse am badly in pain in the pass and i want it to go alway .........i really need to be loved and not to be dissapointed ,
I hope you understand were am coming from and were am going. hope to hear from u again..

Sharon cares for you Lee xx

Sharon,

If you lived in a world finally just by yourself, and you had the time to really consider what you want to discover, what would you do in an ideal world?
Settle down there, miss..hehe. If you're truly as enlightened as you claim to be from your beliefs, you'd know it's not wise to let your self get all googly with emotion, however nice it is.. Never beg for anything.. I hope I'm not sounding too harsh. I wouldn't want to be dissapointed either, but I certainly wouldn't go out of my way to dissapoint you. Why do I even say this and sound like I'm ruining the moment? If I can say that when walking through a darkened forest at night one of the nicest remarks my female friends say to me, platonically,is how safe they feel around me, know that, I would be wish to protect you from harm, at the very least, even if right now just by mere words, be it 1000 miles away..

Tell me more about yourself and what do you do believe? I think you may sort of have a feel of what I believe, but truth is, love isn't so simple and lovin' and real respect that a gal like you'd otherwise deserve isn't just made up of sweet words all the time. I wouldn't want to waste your time. I like girls with true love in their eyes, and though metaphysically dress up nice and love to sugar coat the moment with the sweet tender side, nevertheless, I feel that real lovin' feeling isn't only made up of that sweetness we love, it's also about respect, and though noone seems to understand this, only things that are strong can truly outlast when if God forbid the tender moment is wrenched out beyond our control sometimes. Though life's full of awkward moments, then we laugh when the world crumbles around us, and we're still standing..

I'm getting too mushy again, sorry. When do you come back from Nigeria? what's with that anyways?
Funny you mentioned that before. I got a friend who's stationed there doing cryptography and working for the government, you know, deciphering encrypted codes by simply locating IP addresses on peoples laptop or desktop computers and tracking down cyber criminals and frauds, go figure. He invited me to visit him last summer. I guess if you're not back in the States sometimes, who knows, if lucky, I may have a place to stay there and go visit you..

Talk to me soon, I'd love to of course hear from you soon
-Lee

My Dearest Lee

Good to read from you,Your words are really thoughtful and lovely,Hope you are having a nice day?The broad band that provides me with internet connection came today and was telling me that my connection will be due for payment in the next few days and i was trying to make them understand i don't have any means of coming up with any money for now cos of the situation of things with me down here at the moment,Dearest Lee i am really feeling our connection and still wondering if this is real too but will want us to take the step of fate and make this a reality between us and before then i will want to ask you for a little favour and will be very greatful if you could offer me that help to keep our means of communication intact till we are able to meet..I want you to help me out with $200 for my internet connection fee,I know this is a little bit too early cos we are yet to know each other but i hope you understand and really ready to take this friendship to the next level with me?I just hope this wont stand as an obstacle for us but as a challenge towards our future together.
Love always
Sharon Cares for Lee

EPILOGUE:

Sorry miss, you're pretty clever, I'll admit it. Last desperate attempt to scam me I see. Come on, man! Don't insult me like that. I hoped you enjoyed my charm. But I was on to you when you posted two same paragraphs under different emails, and never actually answering anything.. Just answer me one question, since we don't have to bring the feds into this. Are you really a guy or a girl, and how much does the scamming business pay? The sad part is if you are real with me, I could probably get you a real job with your wit in Computer Science. Believe me, no hard feelings. It's too bad you got to go this route. I don't have to track your IP address if I don't want to..

PS. I could probably write better Romance novels than you..

Unfortunately, the love of my life never wrote back. So what if she was a computer hacking Nigerian man? The passion in our letters can not be argued.. I only wish
this for my other friends who haven't at least tasted such an enchanting moment. If it wasn't for Sharon, I wouldn't have enjoyed that blissful week back in October where I felt I had purpose again; was gonna save up money to buy a ticket to Africa too..

Bea

2009-03-10T10:03:00.000-07:00

Doris,

Gladys,

Henrietta,

Phyllis,

Pearl,

Hazel,

Betty,

Agnus,

Glenda,

Sybill,

Ingrid,

Meredith..

I was sitting there driving to work today and these obscure names rarely found for women under 60 just sprang to my head. I think these names should be resurrected back into society. Unfortunately, we live in a shallow society so there's only one way I can think of this happening: Get a swimsuit calendar with all the models having these names, one for each month of the year!

It's kind of fun coming up with obscure names like these that you don't hear so often, unless you have an older aunt or something.. As I went to the drive through to get a taco I came up with these ones..

Semi Retired names (names rarely found women below 45):

Peggy

Helen

Dana

Lucille (lucy)

Sally

Maud,

RECYCLE NAMES, FOLKS!

What a great mental exercise to do while driving! That's all I can think of though. I think I've used em all up. J.D., if anyone of your 'young couple' friends you know are trying to think of a name for their kid, I think you should try to encourage them to endorse trying to get some of these names back into society...

Total BOdy Conditioning by yours truly...

2009-03-02T15:35:00.000-08:00

I am writing to you folks this evening, simply because I can... Most of you don't know this, but I have a surreal little side gig as an aerobics instructor teaching "Total Body Conditioning" to 30 young working girls and some soccer moms on the side.

It's not something I was adamantly looking for; I never went out of my way looking for this gig. It's not like I woke up one morning and said, "hey! I think I want to be an aerobics instructor so that I can be the only guy exercising in a room full of women that would end up reinforcing the already ambiguous accusations about me not being straight (I haven't had a girlfriend in over 6 years). Nevertheless, last fall, fate had it that the Boston Sports Club needed a permanent substitute for a "Total Body Conditioning" club offered to the members. So, when the original aerobics instructor decided to walk out on the club to get a higher paying job as a chicken inspector at a local slaughterhouse ( or whatever the reason),in a desperate attempt to fill in for as a sub one sudden night (and against my own wishes) I was picked.

I didn't want to get involved. I've seen these classes and how they go: These women that do these aerobics classes in health clubs are hardcore -- they're all about you giving them an insane workout complete with a perfect cadence, a stupid headset to yell orders at them, and preferably, you being under 150 pounds. I had everything going against me. I had no rhythm, no prospects, and worst of all, no top 40 cheesy 'jock jam' playlists in my IPOD -- AND I currently weight 215 pounds. And even though I can at least say that it's a somewhat fit contest weight, how the hell do you fit in to the stereotypes of teaching an aerobics class if you're not tall, slim, supertanned, and worse, if you're a guy - straight???

It's funny; somebody will eventually make an OXYGEN movie about my life, and my times spent as a personal trainer at the Boston Sports Club is will be worthy of a few scenes...So I found myself thrown into the wolves that night and it couldn't have been a great workout since three people showed up the next week.

But I stayed adamant: Sticking to playing some of the most unbelievably absurd world and industrial techno music I could find (which of course I had to like), and along with the fact that for the workout I'd make them use some of the most absurd contraptions to do exercises (such as wrapping giant rubber bands around your body), I developed a small cult following. Today, I can at least boast that I am one of the few people on earth with an engineering background that has two classes full of women waiting for him every monday night to teach them how to get in shape.

So it kind of sucks that I am writing this journal entry this evening under the conditions that some bonehead in management thought I wasn't going to show up for class, I SHOW UP, but they got some crusty lady to substitute teach for me as my usual group of girls are leaderless this monday. That is why I am in the back room as we speak just going online and falling asleep here. My only crumb of comfort was when one of them happened to walk by me by a bubbler and asked my why I wasn't teaching the class and with with an almost saddened look of despair added that she was worried I was never coming back, I said to her "I'll be there next week" -- only for her to reply, "the other lady, she's got nothing on you!.."

..kind of made me smile.

It's such a stupid plot for a movie it might just make a good chick flick!

My adventures in Boston --- !

2009-02-25T07:18:00.000-08:00

I used to live up here... In Boston, I mean .. so I decided to make a trek and visit my old stomping grounds last night and ended up spending the night here. Boston's Awesome! I know I sound like a tourist, but the truth is, after spending (most) of my time in central mass recently, I forgot how you when you step into the city, for me at least, it feels like for once, I'm existing in a concrete/cobblestone jungle that makes you proud to be a human being again....

"Generic Stock Footage of Boston with Me photoshopped in front wearing my world famous pea green shirt.."

Anyways, I went to Boston, in reality, just to go to Chinatown to have some noodles with my friend Matt Ryan and his motley crew of librarian and geologist friends. This momentous occasion took place at the Vinh Sun , a nice little establishment located right by the south gates of chinatown in Boston that (awesome!) is open till 2 am on the weeknights and for some reason is visited by multiple families that bring their 8 year olds there even though it's $%$@ 11:30 at night!

'Illegally ripped off Stock footage of an outside shot of the Vinh Sun taken during the day even though it was night when we went there..'

Look, all I'm saying is, go there! If you find yourself wandering the streets of Boston at dark-noon and are starving, THIS you can count on!.. a God-send considering that there are NO chinese restaurants open past 11 in Worcester which is another reason why it sucks.. Note: just don't order the frog soup! It's a little too wild for my taste

'irrelevant pirated footage of McGruff the Crime Dog, preaching against drugs to kids, which is arguably reminiscent of a similar hallucination that you can experience after ingesting the frog soup'

After crashing in Allston at the old apartment I used to live in with my WPI friends, I woke up to the voice of my friend Dave's girlfriend sitting across the living room from my bed and talking to some guy on speaker phone. Thinking she was cheating on Dave, I pretended to stay asleep and eavesdropped. I turns out she is working for a non profit Israeli grass roots engineering firm that is planning a trip to build some trails out there in May. Neat! Knowing that everything was going to be ok, I blissfully stared at the abandoned plant in front of me that Dave had rescued from the sidewalk a week ago and went back to sleep..

" Actual Photo taken of plant. Copyright (c) 2009 Claudio Xavier Salazar Rhodes. All rights reserved. Image subject to copyright/violation or willfull intent to distribute this image for monetary gain will be subject prosecution by the fullest extent of the law '

So finally, here's where my real blog starts: Today's blog is really about some cool old school 80's music that I listened to on youtube while drawing this image:

"the reason for me randomly drawing this picture will be disclosed at a later time.."

So here's the thing, while drawing this picture, I just came up with a beautiful lineup of songs to listen to in a row while you're doing any homework, projects, or you're just going online aimlessly. So without further ado, enjoy these videos!

and since you can't embed this but it's still a good song, check this out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CO_xjXoKD38

My Talent for coming up with Stupid inventions

2009-02-15T19:59:00.000-08:00

If I have one talent in life, it seems it is envisioning the ability to foresee some
of the most useless innovations that could ever be built... My problem is that although alot of these ideas are fascinating, there could never be a market for any of them as NO ONE would ever give me funding to design these inventions.. It's too bad too, since I'm pretty much broke and could use the money. Well, at the very least, I decided to compile all these ideas that come to me, illustrate them, and put them in a collection so that at least they won't be lost for the ages..

Here's one of them.. There's actually a whole chapter dedicated to just this stuff that's included in the recent physics book I published for no particular reason other than the fact that I can do it... http://www.lulu.com/content/5015730

HEY! Click on the picture for a closer look!!

The Legend about how the president of Mexico stole my Dad's book..

2009-02-12T11:26:00.001-08:00

People (not a few mind you because there’s quite a few that know about this) have asked me to clarify the whole story about my Dad and his random strife with the former president of Mexico… Basically, Carlos Salinas, ex president of Mexico in the early 90’s might have stolen tons of money from the treasury of Mexico, but his family also indirectly dealt a sore blow robbing my poor dad of some of his possessions in a very ghetto manner. It all took place when he (my Dad) was in college and to this day as far as I know, he never got his stuff back. This IM recap tells the story best:

“Here's an interesting fact:…. My Dad, at MIT lent a Statics book to some
guy named Salinas who was the brother of a guy who became the president of
Mexico at one time but lives in exile outside of the country now and my
Dad hates them because they stole his book…Yeah, that’s really how the story goes – that’s all there is to say really… I guess it’s a true story.
Yeah the guy (SALINAS) became one of those high ranking guys (bro to the
president) and after the next to recent political revolution, jetted from Mexico for fear of getting shot, and the worse part about his whole ordeal was that I guess he never gave the book back..

The Strangest thing I've seen this week..

2009-02-07T10:05:00.000-08:00

Well, the truth is, the day ain't over yet... I had a dream last night that I was travelling from Hubbartston to Holden on a motorized moving push lawnmower; somehow the motor on the top
of the lawnmower was shaped like a seat. Upon waking, I sat thinking about if I would ever be
lazy enough to do that rather than just walk somewhere.. as I sat for breakfast, I stumbled onto this gem again; it's amazing how there's people out there just as messed up as me. The funny thing is,
I've been seriously thinking of creating a youtube series where I teach my rendition to personal fitness training, seeing how I am a professional personal trainer anyways. I guess this video has been out online for a while now, but I'll bet most people never had the misfortune of just blatantly viewing this sometime in their lives. It's both brilliant and repulsive, and I can't explain why... hence, the movement of modern art!

I'll shut up now; just watch this, and don't ask why..

"A thoughtful essay on the existance of a third gender.."

2009-02-01T19:34:00.000-08:00

How cool would it be if there was a third gender? Not a male, not a female,
not a hermaphrodite, not a transvestite; literally a third gender - humanoid, but completely independent of fully resembling the likeness of both a male and female counter part. A third, (I guess actually accounting for the other two, one could consider it a fifth gender") would be the perfect counterpart for all human interaction since it would completely eliminate all sexual tension in relationships: It would be the paradox that would make up missing link to the idea of a "third wheel" and mathematically eliminate those kinds of awkward moments from ever rising again.

The third gender --- It keeps bugging me! I'm not kidding..I'd sit there on hilltops thinking about this way too much. I let my imagination one day run wild last summer as I obsessed with the idea of how cool would be if we had a third gender that existed among us. That's right! I was so tired of hearing about lame relationships... of hearing music lyrics about some cheating bastard or some naive top 40 indecisive attention deficit diva with no intuitive abilities.... of watching the same stupid themes in movies about 'relationships' as we know it... of listening to my friends and colleagues whine about girls or guys or feel like the same cliche' argument about how each gender is a pain in the ass to have a relationship with because they themselves don't have the capacity to take a break from once in their lives from relationships and develop the ability of functioning independently... I digress...

Last summer at my friend Kerri's wedding, someone slammed me with my sincere belief in supporting the idea of a 3rd gender if that was ever possible. "Hey Claude, I hear you so randomly was telling Jay about the existence about how you really were serious about wanting to have a 3rd gender"

"Yes, it's true I was talking to Jay about that" I admitted.

Terrence asked incredulously, "and what would this gender look like then?" he said, as a small crowd of wedding guests gathered around our table in a half mocking fashion to hear what I had to say. I was put on the spot, but immediately I gave all my critics an answer that actually made perfect sense..

"It would be a humanoid, devoid of genetilia like that of a male or female, with probably reproductive organs on its back where the shoulder blades would be.."

It really would be perfect!: After listening to a coworker tonight lament about having to break up with his girlfriend because he felt he felt he wasn't really interested and was leading her on and how she went psycho on him, my mind flooded back to the hope that somehow, defying the laws of biology as we know it -- somehow, a third gender would appear out of nothing and bring balance to the world................

Epilogue

After somehow running into two more people tonight and somehow them asking me about my day so far, I brought up the theory of the 3rd gender bringing balance to everything as we know it. It turns out that other critics have sincerely pondered about this solution to such a dilemma in their own fashion. The general consensus by most people that have pondered the existence of this for themselves has been that the third gender would " pretty much be a girl with no period " or " a guy with no p*#@&%.. "

'Celanthropods', the Musical!

2009-01-25T18:26:00.000-08:00

So I was training one of my clients today at the health club, and she was sharing with me how
I guess this weekend her and her boyfriend went to go watch "Cats" -- Cats.. you know, CATS: That world famous Broadway musical about God knows what

... the one that when my client went to the lady's room during intermission she overheard 3 times; "Do you know what's going on?"
... the one that NO ONE I KNOW knows what the #$*@ it is about
-- the one that inexplicably gained fame in practically 80 different countries and won international renown which as my client wondered, maybe it's because no one ever spoke up against it..
... the one that is George Bush's favorite play! - (that is if the movie "W." was in any way historically accurate)...

with that said, it got me thinking: I know some of you have read and liked my play "Yosemite Nights": I would like to someday, as a purely artistic challenge, write a world renowned musical play called "CELANTHROPODS".

Think about it: a play about invertebrates!! Mollusks! Scavengers! Imagine seeing a Broadway stage full of strange and colorful shell covered creatures just standing there as they cling to
to a colorful jagged wall that is supposed to resemble a coral reef.. They sit there singing songs and dishing out likable numbers about the similarities of celanthropods such as mollusks and the sedentary lifestyles of those living in the modern world plagued by mass media and runaway consumerism that makes them too lazy to lift a finger anymore!

What the hell would "Celanthropods" be about??

It would be an audience participation piece, as these people sit there like an invertebrate and watch the play, laughing it up as the mollusks literally sit there and do nothing the entire time. Then at the end of the play, a giant mirror comes down and faces the audience as if the mollusks had reproduced and with some special effects they ironically see themselves dressed up in the same colors as the mollusks! What a metaphorical lecture about the modern world!!

My point is, if "Cats" can make it and become a big international smash hit all these years, then there's no reason to stop the idea of "Celanthropods" from stemming into the next certain Tony award winning bit of overrated surrealism...

Personally, I think I think if you're crazy enough to sit through "Cats" then I can't see how you wouldn't be someone above paying tickets to see something as bad as "Zoo Animals on Wheels:"

Superbowl....

2009-01-20T19:31:00.000-08:00

Super bowl is coming up: Despite the commercials that are over the top that try to outdo each other, the pregame show, the festive parties at T’s that he always throws, the yuletide, the halftime show and the cheer, I am prolly’ not going to watch any of it. I would rather be watching ‘Battle Royale” like I did one Superbowl instead..

The only thing good to come recently from the Superbowl holiday are the burger king commercials with the King sleeping in a bed with some dude and offering him a hamburger, and that was three years ago! I hope this year they’ll be able to even top that off but as the nearby apocalypse draws near as they say, I just don’t know…

I guess the saddest thing about the Super bowl is when I see is the crowd of people that have been chosen to get on the field that unless I’m mistaken, think that they are all privileged to get to watch the “Rod Stewart Halftime show” or whatever the hell they end up playing that year during the show and jamming to the music. I always picture two guys right near the front of the stage head banging really hard, feeling so privileged for being there and are embracing each other and crying out “WE’RE REALLY DOING IT MAN!!! WE’RE HERE!!” and giving high fives to the people all around them like this was their big moment in the sun. I guess I feel bad.

Since I’ve never been to a live Super bowl, I have no idea what they do with these people after the half time show. I always picture all the lights in the stadium going off during a commercial, and then suddenly hired goons pour out of the end zones and drive them away like cattle until they are evicted out of the stadium. Muffled cries all over the field are drowned by deep voices screaming “Get Out Of Here” and pandemonium ensues all over the field.. I feel sorry ‘cause it’s not until they are out in the parking lot that these half beaten concertgoers realize they were impressionable lost souls and finally realize how unbelievably bad the halftime show really is…

The Annual Ski Trip to Sugarloaf 2009 and the fact my book has been approved at university physics departments..

2009-01-13T15:57:00.000-08:00

Alright.. so, sorry I am late on the updating blog.. It's been a pretty interesting vacation trip this winter. This might be the last one in a long time (unless I decide to go to New York later this month).. Like I said in the last blog, I didn't even need to go: I just happened to have already purchased for the vacation back in November...

Part one of my adventures:

PALUMBO give me the wrong directions to get there!!!! For those of you who know and love good ol' Palumbo, he's a great kid to go on ski trips with when he can actually go to them, but yes, I'm not going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he just plain sucks at directions since he screwed up both attempts he made in giving directions to get to Sugarloaf Mountain in Maine.. We were at Tortilla Sam's in Worcester with my sister when I told him I was leaving for my annual oddessey this year when I caught him the first time before he would have incorrectly given me directions to get to Kilington and not Sugarloaf..
The second time I must regrettably say it was my own fault for getting distracted when he typed directions on his blackberry - only to find out the next day that I had ended up at Sugarleaf ski area in the MIDDLE OF THE PRESIDENTIAL MOUNTAINS in New Hampshire and not at my desired destination. Suffice to say I was two hours off course. ..

Anyway, once I got there at night the fun finally began...

"I found myself in a remote paradise surrounded finally by pines, glades, rolling mountain ranges surrounding the panoramic view, after a recently fallen snowfall protected our haven from the remote potential of further population from the so called real world settling there.. as for once the so called human mind as we understand it could finally focus on an alien world - an ideal world, undisturbed by human mediocrity was able to finally gather focus as subterranean thoughts of heaven were brought into alighnment, where one's wits are regathered and confidence is never scattered, for the first time as can be gathered, being alive physically and metaphysically is the only thing that matters..."

Part Two: Hey! Where did all the girls go?

Yes it was a slice of heaven, and I was with a good crew of people, only like an odd twilight zone episode, I was in a shangri la, but it was all dudes! I'd go skiing; all dudes on the slopes. At the end of the day, retire to the spa and jacuzzi areas outside by the glade patios -- all dudes..... I was reminded of my strange days of working at the BSC in the south end... The two gals that were with us had boyfriends. The girls on the slopes turned out to be effeminate looking dudes who
wore bright colors and should grow more facial hair behind their ski masks.. I guess Razel the human beat box artist was doing a gig at the bar at the hotel lodge for some surreal reason, but we ended up not going. At any rate, aside from the anthrax that might have been left in our condo that gave us all horrendous sneezing fits (or maybe it was Alex who brought a cold with him), the trip was pretty sweet....

Part Three: I'm proud to say, I wiped out only once during the trip! It was on a double black diamond, which I'll admit I would have never attempted had my friend Erich "Crossroads" Lidstone hadn't peer pressured me into doing it... I couldn't turn my ski, fell head first down the slope, and sliding 150 feet felt strangely peaceful.

Am I dead or am I living? Too afraid to care too afraid to know...

Then I had this random dream where an assassin that looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger scaled up a cliffside in a castle that my family doesn't own in real life and try to kidnap my sister who for some reason was the girl from 'the fifth element' and could bring back balance in the world against the threat of ocean lines with wheels on them roaming on dryland and mauling everything..

The trip home..

The trip home was really relaxing in my rental car that coincidentally looked just like my boss's
PT Cruiser. This time it only took me 5 hours to get back instead of 7! Nevertheless, there was
something good that came out of this trip... Hanging out in the summit of a northeastern mountain all week seems to have given me immunity to subzero weather, and my proudest moment was pumping 25$ worth of gas at a reststop in Lawrence somewhere wearing just a T shirt while the mexican family on the other side of the pump looked at me in disgust, and kept pointing at me and going "Ay, pero que loco!"

Part Four: Epilogue:

But the best part was then when I got back , I just found out the WPI physics department is down with allowing my Physics books to be distributed to the student body there... I even got
the head of the physics department to write a review on the work, who says the following about
JD'CGT P& FITU.... Here's what Professor Ianchianni PHD has to say about my twisted piece of work that makes up the Physics Compilations currently available for sale on the online store..

"The book strikes a unique balance in making physics fun and not compromising necessary conceptual information. It reaches students at their level.. Material is made accessible by employing the kind of style that many students can connect to..."

The day before Sugarloaf, by 'Xavier' Rhodes

2009-01-05T20:44:00.000-08:00

This is the big day before the big day tomorrow; I will be participating existing
at sugarloaf ski mountain for a few days after I leave tomorrow once I endure a
5 hour car ride that I am not looking forward to before I get there. The good
news is that the car ride is in the direction of the ski mountain, so I should be
closer to my destination by the end of the day. The funny thing is, I actually
AM NOT LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING... strange; it's almost like I
feel I don't need the vacation. This puts me in a very awkward spot since no
one I know can relate to me. If I was to tell them, "yeah, I'll be out the rest of
the week vacationing while I go skiing a Sugarloaf mountain but I would rather
be working", they'd say I was nuts. "Why don't you just not go?"

"Because I already paid money"

The truth is, I've spent the last three weeks pretty much galavanting, hanging out with friends already who are inexplicably vacationing in this part of the world and pretty much doing the same that resembles celebrating..... Since I seemed inexplicably troubled in mind in a way I can't rationalize, my sister just asked me what I did today. After reflecting my day, I still can't make
heads or tails why I seem so apprehensive.

My adventures the day before Sugarloaf...

So I woke up this morning after having a dream that I owned a cross dressing chimpanzee who
would wear blue dresses and red high heel shoes.. I went straight to the gym to train clients
the entire day, I had to attend a company business meeting where I dozed off and was staring at
a colleagues arm when an epiphany hit me: why is it culturally acceptable for women to shave their legs but not their arms? Nobody I've talked to today has yet to produce a good answer.

At night, after teaching my surreal all womens aerobics class, I met up with the Palumbo brothers and my sister at T Sams restaurant where we partook in a nostalgic meal of bean burritos and chips. I guess things will look better tomorrow after the possible concussion I've
endured goes away. Wish me luck up there on vacation.. For anyone who actually is interested, I should be back sunday if everything goes ok.. I won't be able to be reached for 4 days. Go check out the Dalat!

Free get rich quick scheme for anyone that wants to take advantage of the average television viewer…

2008-12-29T07:44:00.000-08:00

This all occurred to me one morning while watching “Dogs with Jobs” on TV since I had a free afternoon this afternoon… I’ve been thinking about how am I can facilitate paying for my college bills: I don’t count on getting an ‘ideal job’ even as a engineer since no one I know from school has come up to me and told me how great they’re doing now that they graduated. Since practically every corny movie I’ve watched works with the following formula, I figured this is the ideal generic solution to taking care of my problems….I simply make a movie about my (or practically anyone else’s) self absorbed life when growing up in suburbia… I think this plan could work for anyone trying to pay for college since Teen Movies and Kids Books I’ve been thinking are probably the best way to make a quick buck…

1) I write a script about a coming of age movie where some young 20 something’s or someone younger are complaining about life in their small town who desperately want to get out and blame their shortcomings on their hometown upbringing. See: “The Breakfast Club”, “Ferris Beuler’s Day Off”, “ The Garden State”, “ The Stoned Age”, “Dazed and Confused”,

2) Include a romantic overtone, (that admittedly doesn't have to have any depth to it), so that you can also target for a female audience

See: “Good Will Hunting”, , “Spiderman”, “The Lost Boys”, “Eurotrip”, “Red Dawn”, “The Garden State”, “The Breakfast Club”, “Any John Cusack movie”, “Empire Record”s, “Can’t Hardly Wait”,etc…

3) Find some playlists on the internet and download some folk music that will be played at crucial moments during the movie for that ‘extra emotional tug’ of sweet nostalgia: See: “Rushmore”, “The Garden State”, “Good Will Hunting”,” Royal Tenenbaums”, etc…

4) Include some subplot of enmity in the movie between one of the protagonists and his parents that the audience can relate to…. See: “The Garden State”, “Ferris Beuler’s Day Off”, “Empire Records”…

5) If appropriate, whenever appropriate, include one of the characters undergoing an emotional psychological dilemma due to bad upbringing and target audiences for your movie that go to counseling by having the person go to counseling… See “The Garden State”….

6) Find a promoter, a production crew, producers, key grips and actors to star in your movie and a director and watch your greenbacks roll in... I hope this helps

"In a parallel Universe, Tom Cruise is a member of Monty Python.."

2008-12-22T06:57:00.000-08:00

While alot of people have been traveling this season to visit relatives and loved ones, I've been reading alot of quantum physics.. I'm starting to get to the good stuff; you know... the highly theoretical bits that describe the mysteries of matter and the universe that no one can really prove. Yeah, sure; the mathematical calculations documented by scientists say that certain concepts like time dillation on biological organisms say otherwise, and it is encouraged to speculate that worm holes that serve as portals to other places must exist. But for all practical purposes, how relevant is that right now? What if, there was a completely new level of physics that exists in other dimensions that we just haven't discovered yet? The same thing could have been argued with the existence of a new physics that exists for particles solely at the atomic scale that was never discovered until the 20th century!
Is Obama the antichrist? I laugh, but I heard from a colleague over lunch a few days ago who strongly hinted that it was so.. And if so, how's that going to affect the plot twists to my new favorite show "Chuck" if what he says is true, and in time, the infrastructure that makes up the United States government goes not just to socialist but to fascist?
Will there ever be any successful contact with other alien life forms? With GM, Chrysler, and Ford potentially going down, it might take a while for the U.S. to boot back its economy to be one of the forerunners in the world that continues to chisel away at space travel and exploration. If is one does make contact, is it necessary to establish missionaries to go to their planets and try to convert everyone?

These are the kinds of earnest questions that I would ask a pastor. But because I don't sit around and have marital problems or have major financial issues because I decided to buy stuff that I can't afford without credit, my problems would be dismissed as 'nonsensical' since they don't appear to be human..

Sermon that never could be a sermon...

How much further from the truth can you get? If we successfully put all our differences aside on this earth, pretty much gave up on thinking we're improving our lives with the way reality and industry is currently set up and started changing our sociological trends to invest more time on space travel and exploration, the sh*t we see on the news here would finally be seen as trivial; we'd have a better perspective on reality -- not immediate reality, but macroscopic reality that actually offered hope. Most of us think our lives are difficult because most of us have never physically gotten our ass kicked in so long; nothing like an extension of using your other senses for once beside your brains will finally put things in proper perspective. A friend who once travelled down the street to the Hoy Toy once said it best: "A terrorist group disguised as alien attackers would be doing the human race a huge favor. Everyone would unite together and forget their differences for once. That way all the squabbles you hear on the news today due to international relations and religious differences would come to a halt because people for once would have to be forced to realize how stupid their crusades have been against each other and unite against one common relevant enemy.."

Speaking of pretty cool metaphysical 'jibberish', is anyone I know going to see the new Tom Cruise movie Valkyrie? Let me know! I'd like to see it this week. I'm a big WWII buff and despite peoples biased opinions on the guy, I think this one looks good...

!

* photo above courtesy of 'Robot Chicken.."

The most stupid and useless thing you could do this week: (Something to do!)

2008-12-15T11:31:00.000-08:00

The most stupid and useless thing you could do is devote 3 hours a day (about a tank worth of gas) to just drive around continuously around a rotary. Not only do you never go anywhere; this activity also contributes to the greenhouse effect and harms in the environment. I guess it would be fun, but would quickly get old after the first 11 laps. A friend of mine tried this once, but we had only done three laps before we decided to do something else. Maybe we have really short attention spans.

It got me thinking though: would it almost be a sin for an organization to exist that continuously does this? I mean, I’m talking if it held a membership by the hundreds of thousands, like a world wide cult, and every day each one of us would do this.. Would it be any worse than terrorism? What if there were enough hazardous members that simply got together every day, and on every rotary on earth, drive around them -- thereby, to simply deplete the natural resources that would inevitably revert us back into an agrarian society but much hotter because of all the Carbon Dioxide gas. Is that illegal? It would have to be some weird wackball cult that does this to destroy our fossil fuels. It makes more sense to simply burn an oil field…