Photo by Bethan Phillips

Here’s a quick question that could provide some revelatory and life-changing answers:

What inspires you when nothing else can?

It might be a certain passage in your favorite book, a verse from your religious text, something a loved one once said that stuck – or a timeless scene from a movie, like when Will Smith tells his son to always go for his dreams in Pursuit of Happyness.

It could also be a place you go, a song you listen to or a type of meditation you do.

I’m on the search to collect these powerfully inspiring passages, pieces… poems and places… and turn them into brief 1 MIN inspiring videos that Angela and I will start publishing to provide free nuggets of inspiration that you can count on when times are rough.

It seemed like a good idea to select inspiring things that have already proven their weight in gold to YOU. So please post the passage, lyrics, place, etc. in the comments, or send it to contact@jaimemintun.com.

Please also include a brief story about what it did for you.

Also please attribute your inspirational selection to whomever created it.

If we select your passage and/or story to feature in one of our videos, we will give our gratitude to you in the video. So yeah, you’ll be immortalized as well as inspired!!

We truly appreciate your help in this.

Also feel free to let us know what kind of inspiration you’d like to see in these 1 MIN videos… on a certain topic, for a certain purpose (like every time you don’t get a call back as an actor… or for getting through the breakup blues).

Thanks so much!

So don’t forget to post below, right now (we know something’s popped in your head!)…

Tell us what inspires you when nothing else can!

Comment below or email us at contact@jaimemintun.com

Photo by Trey Ratcliff

What is going to happen in 2012?

Have you found yourself or those around you asking this question lately? It seems harmless enough, but what if I told you that such a question is a massive mistake? And perhaps even dangerous?

Don’t get me wrong – I caught myself asking this after Obama signed off on the NDAA and basically nixed all our personal rights. However I find that as I begin to stumble down the rabbit hole of fear… around our economy and a failing US dollar… around a possible police state… around all the natural disasters that have become commonplace… I (and all of us) must remember one vital thing:

This year is marked with intense transition energy.

And energy is not good or bad. It simply is. What is done with it, where it’s directed and what it does, is up to us.

Transitioning also means that what came before must end, and what is coming must be created and built. Transitions always require destruction. They also require creation. And both require action if we want such destruction to serve us and such creation to reflect what we want.

So this is NOT a year where we can idly ask “What will happen?”

Because now more than ever, what will happen depends precisely on what we do, individually and collectively, right now. Transition energy means massive change, momentum and movement. Things will inevitably change this year, and change fast. How they change and to what end – isn’t a question, it’s a directive. Simply: It’s up to us.

I know a lot of people believe a lot of different things about what 2012 will bring. I have my own beliefs about it too. But in the end, whatever we hope or fear WILL NOT happen in a vacuum. It will be the result of our actions in the past, and especially the actions we take moving forward.

What is happening right now requires our participation.

This means that you are called to massive action this year. I am called to massive action this year. We, as a global tribe, must step forward with intention, direction and purpose, toward the kind of world that we want, and that we must choose.

I think the only way we can lose is to not do anything at all.

So please don’t make the mistake of believing that something has been written into the stars about this year, or that you are powerless.

The only thing I believe has been written into the stars is the marked energy of this time – and that energy directly empowers YOU.

In my opinion, the future is not fixed. The ENERGY of a time is what we can count on, and in the powerful transition energies of 2012, the worst thing we can do is passively watch what comes to pass. Because this is a year for action. This is a year for intention and choice and for stepping up for what we want and what we believe in.

This is a year for each of us individually and collectively to take responsibility for where we are as a culture, a planet and a people up until this point. Because more than ever before, we are in a time of enormous potential and definite change. But the direction of that change is up to us.

If We’re Willing to Step Up and Fight… What Will We Fight For?

This question is a potentially frightening one too. Because the energy of this year also includes the energy of “Us vs. Them.” My friend and colleague Michael Drew refers to it as The Pendulum. After researching the past several thousand years (which will be compellingly revealed in his upcoming book), he noticed that every 40 years, we swing from a “Me” culture to a “We” culture.

We swing from individualism, the worship of the guru, celebration of all that makes each of us unique… to a consciousness of the collective, a desire to stand together for something – and, unfortunately – against something.

At the height of the “We” upswing each 80 years, society begins claiming, “I’m okay… and you’re NOT okay.” There is a collective us, and also a them. These extreme upswings give us the Holocaust, the Witch Trials, the Inquisition… all of it. And we’re heading into another extreme upswing now.

I say all this to say that, yes, I want you to stand up and fight for what you believe in – for a better world, for what you desire and your right to live as you choose.

But that should not turn into “I know how to live… and you don’t. I’m right, you’re wrong. I must destroy you.” Because in the past, what began as a collective movement during times such as these – would always turn into some kind of war or massacre.

So how do we create change, for the better, in a year marked by massive transition and also extremely dangerous us vs. them energy?

2012 Is About YOU. And It’s About LOVE.

I say we do it by rooting our energy and our action within our hearts. This means that what we do and how we participate is about serving the greater good through our own joy, happiness and passion. I’m not talking about collecting nice things – I’m talking about discovering what makes your soul sing and dance and do cartwheels. I’m saying that whenever you face a choice, realize that it will always boil down to the same choice: Will you move toward or because of love or toward/because of fear?

With every choice this year, choose to move toward love.

Because when you’re happy and when you come from a place of love, it’s really hard for anyone to control you. Because control must feed on fear.

Nazi Germany happened because Germany was already broken and suffering after WW1. Hitler had power because the people were downtrodden, scared and looking for someone to blame.

The Inquisition had power because plagues were killing off whole villages and people couldn’t understand why. They were scared, and needed someone to blame.

The pattern is always the same. The difference now? We must turn the tide away from fear and toward love. Don’t Occupy Wall Street. Occupy your HEART.

2012 will reflect ourselves back to us. Who you show up as is how this year will show up for you.

Yes, some believe it will usher in a Golden Age. I hope that is so. But it can’t happen without us. What is golden is what is in you. Use it.

They always say that each of us has a Heart Song.

The movie Happy Feet made it particularly and adorably popular as animated penguins found their lifelong loves through singing their Heart Songs.

But real life isn’t quite that Disney is it? Human beings aren’t so simple and neither are our hearts.

I would venture actually to say that we don’t have Heart Songs at all. Instead, I submit that we have Heart Playlists.

I discovered this somewhat by accident this weekend and I’d like to take you through this impromptu exercise I did…

Because many of you ask me what Intuition is, how to connect to it, and what it feels like when you receive it, so you too can take action on it.

I hope that in sharing how my intuition throttled me smack dab into a Heart Playlist… that you’ll have something tangible to grasp (plus a fun exercise to try!).

You game? Good.

First, let’s tackle what I mean by a ‘Heart Playlist’ and then I’ll take you through how I created mine and the deep integration transformation it gave me…

What IS a Heart Playlist?

Your Heart Playlist is a series of 3 to 20 (and maybe sometimes more) songs that penetrate you so deeply that you 1) have an emotional reaction and 2) feel that it speaks of your heart or to your heart.

But here’s the key: your Heart Playlist is NOT a series of songs that all say basically the same thing. That’s just a Heart Song with Remixes… you know those singles albums with 4 remixes that all sound basically the same? That’s not what we’re going for, and you’ll see why in a moment.

No, what you want is a collection of songs that are not necessarily thematically or genre related. This surprised me, and at first I resisted it. Yet what presented itself was magical when I allowed the complexity and discord among my playlist!

How to Create Your Heart Playlist

Don’t think on it too hard. This is where intuition comes in.

Also remember that your playlist can change over time and it’s not set in stone. So experiment! Have fun. And trust your first instinct before your brain has had a chance to botch the whole thing.

For me, I woke up on Friday and had this insane urge to create a new iPod playlist. I didn’t know what it was for but I absolutely knew certain songs that had to go in it. I wrote them down and started a list. As I began to pull them from my digital collection, I noticed other songs that called to me, and more still that entered my mind. When I was done, my playlist had over 15 songs.

Don’t try to get too many songs, and don’t think you have to limit either. Just feel into it. Connect with your gut. Which songs are simply screaming at you to be listened to right now? It doesn’t matter if it’s Sublime singing about drugs or Johnny Cash crooning for June Carter. Just trust it. Trust yourself. Because I guarantee you, if you do it right, most of the songs probably won’t quite make sense to you!

And my first reaction was this: Why the hell do I have a dark “Undisclosed Desires” Muse song kicking it with a bunch of sappy love songs (which I RARELY ever listen to) and intense blues songs??? Why are some about love and some downright angry?

I started to break them out into separate playlists, but something kept itching at my back, right between the shoulder blades. This is where I usually feel intuition tapping me and tugging me to NOT do what I’m about to do, or to pay attention to something I’m about to miss.

So I left the playlist alone, with all songs intact.

Then I went about my day until late that evening when I decided to take a bath and unwind.

Armed with a glass of wine and my new playlist, I fired up the bubbles and hot water and attempted to soak away the stress of the day. Destiny, it seemed, had other plans…

The Power & Point of the Heart Playlist

As I put the playlist on shuffle and let it play, I began to really listen to the words. I had added songs that I’d never listened to the lyrics for, and as I was curious why my intuition selected them, I paid close attention. Other songs were from my high school days that I hadn’t heard in 15 years. I was doubly curious why they were here too.

And suddenly a beautiful, haunting and deeply affecting story began to thread itself through every song. They were the pieces of me screaming for attention – for INTEGRATION.

You don’t have a single Heart Song because your heart is probably fractured or broken – not necessarily by a relationship… but by life. This is by design as we often must be broken open to truly break through to a new, higher, delicious version of ourselves.

This is why our Heart Playlist is often disjointed and cross-genre/cross-meaning. I had songs that spoke to my desire to finally step into intimacy and trust falling in love. I also had songs that spoke to the anger and betrayal I have felt in the past and am still healing/releasing.

There were songs that spoke to the hope in me that a man would seek out my undisclosed desires and welcome my mess… that a man exists out there who would sweep me up and hold me down in a safe space of surrender and vulnerability with another human being – both of us okay with my mess.

To my logical brain they didn’t make sense. But to my heart, they sang of my deepest truths and listening to them dislodged something in me. I emptied out my sorrows, my fears, my deeply painful desires and needs that begged for a voice.

They spoke to my hopes and most secret dreams so that I was giddy with their liquid poetry, drunk on that elixir of Spoken Truth.

These are the pieces of my heart.

They will not be the same as yours. But you will have pieces just the same. Disjointed, complex, contradictory and beautiful in their terrible ugliness.

And somehow… giving each piece its own voice through a song that evoked its feeling, tone and secret truth… gave me a beautiful and unexpected gift: integration.

As I let the playlist wash over me, each song called forth its corresponding Heart Shard, and slowly, I felt myself piecing back together. Yes, I’ve done so much work to piece myself back together over these past years. And this was another beautiful way that simply added to that process. Added to my wholeness.

I offer this exercise to you too, to hopefully give you a similar experience. It was hauntingly beautiful for me.

What Does All This Have To Do With Intuition?

If I’ve learned anything in healing myself and teaching others in these ways, it’s this: there’s no one path to healing. What works for me might not be the magic formula for you. This is why intuition is so important, and so I give you this exercise, not to tell you that this will be the answer for you… but rather to give you a story that grants you permission to seek your own gift.

Your heart – your soul – speaks to you just as mine speaks to me. Donning the ears to hear it is all that intuition really is. People over-complicate it. But I find always that what is simple is true.

If you take anything from this blog post, take this: that there was no clear reason for me to create a playlist suddenly, nor to pick the songs I picked. I didn’t know at the time what I would do with the list, nor did I really have time to put toward the effort.

Yet something subtly gnawed at me and asked me to do it. So I did.

Hours later, a new gnawing asked me to take a bath, and then there was the bright idea to listen to the playlist… so I did.

What I’m trying to say is listening to your intuition is like driving at night with only one headlight. You can see very little of the road ahead. And what you see is vague, shifting, and questionable. Yet you know your car, and you have no choice but to trust the little that you can see.

Don’t expect that it has to be an entire download of information which you believe in with utter certainty. It will often feel questionable… an easily-ignored itch or a random idea or urge that has no clear point or end result. And though it’s annoying, you often won’t get the next bit of information or guidance until you’ve acted on the first.

And so it’s like walking the Yellow Brick Road in complete darkness, with only one little piece of the path lit at a time. But you keep walking… and only after you’ve traversed several steps do you start to see the point of it all. So just. Keep. Going.

So important, I had to share it here on my blog. It is the question: Is there danger in a woman’s sexuality?

My answer to our community became somewhat of a personal manifesto…

Here is what I wrote:

The Question: Will a Woman’s Demonstration of Her Sexuality Inspire Predators to Harm Her or Take Advantage of Her?

A woman close to me, whom I love dearly, emailed me last night. She was concerned at my playful but blatant sexuality in yesterday’s Luv Tap. If you didn’t see the email, it mentioned a cupcake place we found called “Lick It, Bite It, or Both.”

Due to my personal history of being molested and raped, she was worried that such a demonstration of sexuality could be misconstrued by predators and call them out of the woodwork to bother me.

This called to me and Angela as a major concern we needed to discuss here with all of you, because relationships (including romantic AND business), our human sexuality and even attraction are all based on polarized power dynamics.

If we women hold a collective fear that we can be harmed, taken advantage of or victimized whenever we display our sexuality… imagine how that holds us back in every area of our lives?

What this tells us is that we women naturally go to a place of limiting ourselves, shutting down parts of ourselves that others may use against us… we choose to live only a part of our being in order to stay safe. This is not a woman’s fault – we are taught that we must do this by society and the world we live in. But it’s not society’s fault either. We are human beings, and unfortunately violence against women is part of the darkness we are attempting to evolve beyond as a species.

Here’s the deal though: Ladies – I’ve been there. I’ve lived a life of timid fear of being victimized and I’ve survived the reality of being victimized. I’ve experienced a belittling of myself in order to stay safe and seen that it doesn’t work.

I’ve also brazenly lived from my total self, spoken my truth, unashamedly celebrated my sexuality and sensual nature as a woman… and I can tell you that only when I started living life in this last way, did the predators STOP coming around.

So if you (ladies) have ever feared being your total wild, complex, feminine self… if you ever watched your every word, stance, or non-verbal cue to make sure that no part of your sexuality leaked out… if you’ve ever feared being taken advantage of or harmed if you did not keep some part of you silent…

Please know that it is very rarely a woman’s sexuality that calls a predator to harm her. It is NOT our demonstrations of elegant sensuality, or an empowered, tasteful sexual comment that triggers a predator. Why? Because these demonstrate power in a woman. Not weakness. When a woman tastefully and openly speaks her total truth (and yes, our sexuality is part of our total truth), she is owning her power as a woman. This does not mean that a woman’s sex is her power. No, it means that our freedom to express our sensual nature comes from stepping into who we are and owning our total self… and THAT is power.

For those of you who fear triggering a predatory response, or who don’t want to be harmed or mistreated by men, let me explain what does trigger a predator.

Predators actually don’t respond to sex. It has nothing to do with sex or a woman’s sensuality. It’s all about power dynamics. When a woman displays a lack of power… that’s when the predators come out. And we women can display a lack of power when we demonstrate a lack of self-trust. It happens when we repress our sexuality in order to stay safe. Our repression actually signals to the predator that we’re afraid of sexuality – and now he knows how to gain power and leverage over us… he uses our sexuality against us.

But when we own our sexuality in a healthy way (not overt or in your face, just as an integrated part of our total, whole self), we have not created a shadow form of our sexuality that can be wielded against us.

Lastly, I want you to know that this entire conversation… all these concerns… aren’t really about a woman’s sexuality.

It’s about a woman’s right to fully speak her truth.

And this is why Angela and I are here, delivering daily free advice and support through Dare 2 Rise. It’s why we’re building our women’s transformation company. These are the ways we are choosing to speak our truth, and to give women everywhere a voice to speak theirs.

Because several years ago I came to a crossroads where I could choose to heal, or choose to die. And I realized that if I did not commit myself to fight for a better world, to lead the charge for women to heal and feel comfortable being our natural, wild, sexual selves… then my only alternative was to stay broken, stay scared, and stay empty. And then why live at all at that point? So I chose the harder path to heal, to fight, to love and to unashamedly be my total self.

That was the only thing that got me through. And now I’m living that mission. No woman or man should ever be afraid to speak their truth. None of us should reduce our radiance and total self just to stay safe.

Today, ponder all of this. Where does it sit with you? How does it make you feel?

And perhaps ask yourself: How are you not currently living and speaking your truth? Might you be living small in some way… or attempting to kill off some part of you that feels dangerous to you… or that opens you up to some perceived weakness?

And then tell yourself, under no uncertain terms, that when you are ready: You can and absolutely will stand for your own truth. In totality. And in complete acceptance and love.

We also stand for you and your total truth.

As our tribe grows here, we will stand together for each others’ truth. Unanimous. Unshakable. Unyielding. And we will not be moved.

My original post at Dare2Rise is HERE.

You did not come when I called you.

And I know… I know that in the same breath I beckoned you with, I told you not to step forward.

It would appear that my overtly sure steps said I didn’t need you. My confidence bellowed, “I’ve got this.” My refusal to step toward you even as I asked for your step toward me… well that probably hinted at a leverage I would not release… a power I could not let be yours.

To the Man Who Never Arrived…

I get it. I understand now.

How could you step toward me in the radiance of your power and strength if I refused to make room for all that you are?

How could you truly want a woman whose every hint was that she didn’t need you?

I understand now. And I want you to know:

That my sure steps were actually wary, fearful ones – because I did not trust where I was going. My confidence was a mask I wore to maintain power – because the last time a man had more power than me, I didn’t make it home.

My refusal to step toward you was actually me on my knees… begging for someone kind enough to step toward me first.

Because I’m too scared. Too wounded. Too long alone now that the slightest of your turning away – once I make that fateful step forward – might crush me.

I am still too newly put together to risk that. And so I have fought to not let you know that I am weak. I have fought to seem strong. But I give up now. And I am asking you to embrace me. Surround me. Take me.

Because I cannot yet walk where I desperately need to go. But I can be swept up and carried. I am not asking to be saved. Just asking for a partner who can lead the dance… who will approach a shy wallflower who just got really good at looking aloof.

I will not need to be carried indefinitely. When we touch back down I will walk on my own two feet. And walk I will, right by your side, down whichever path we discover.

To the Man Who Now Arrives…

Thank you. I see you. And I’m right here.

You know it in that vague but increasing sense of urgency… You feel it in that itch to shake things up, change things around… to rearrange your furniture or your finances… to makeover your look or your love life.

Whatever type of different you’re looking for, whether it’s in one area of your life or the whole enchilada, there is a simple way to make the changes – and to make the ones that count.

And the best part is, it’s not about changing habits, implementing a foreign system that may or may not be right for your unique situation, and it’s not about living the way I, or anyone else, tells you to.

All you have to do is increase your awareness over the next 60 days around what you want, what you do on a daily basis… and what you say to yourself and to others in relation to those two things.

Because…

What You Want = YOUR DESIRE

What You Do = YOUR WILL TO ACTION

What You Say = YOUR EXPRESSION OF BELIEF AND EXPOSURE OF THE LIES

When you are fully aware of these 3 core expressions, align them and eventually command them: you can and WILL accomplish anything you want. Guaranteed.

And guess what… you’re going to do just that, along with me and my business partner Angela Hartman, over the next 60 days!

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Join the Dare 2 Rise 60-Day Challenge & Makeover Your Life

Many of you have already voiced your commitment to join me and Angela on this challenge. And to fire you up even more, here’s some quick reasons you’re going to LOVE the next 60 days:

• It’s FREE to participate! And it’s for both men and women!
• We’ll kick things off with a Goal Setting Webinar to help you set your goals and share valuable tips for getting the most out of the challenge
• Check in every day to see the day’s Inspired Rethink (tiny and simple shift to re-imagine or repair your life)
• See the exact tasks Angela and I assign ourselves each day, plus hold us accountable to getting them done!
• Daily Luv Tap emails with bite-sized sassy wisdom to start you off on the right foot every morning
• Weekly assignments that are proven breakthrough activities for health, relationships, career, finances, emotional healing and self-love
• A private and secure participant’s forum (NOT Facebook) where you can share your own experience, journal, ask questions and share your own daily task lists. You can be anonymous if you like (which is why we’re not using Facebook), and you can pair up with each other as accountability partners!

CLICK HERE TO PARTICIPATE!

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You must sign up to participate, because you’ll be receiving daily emails I wouldn’t want to send to those uninterested in participating.

You’ll never get this level of support, motivation and sheer momentum anywhere else. Don’t miss out on this one-time-only event!

The Details:

WHEN: The challenge will start on Monday, September 19th. We’ll have a live webinar or telecall on Thursday, September 15th.

WHERE: You’ll get registration details to our secure participants forum, as well as the link to the main Dare 2 Rise site once it’s live.

You can focus on any one or several things you want to makeover during these 60 days. As an example, here’s what we’ll be focusing on…

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Jaime’s Life Makeover Focus

I’ll be focusing on three key themes during my 60 days, which will each include one or two specific goals:

LIFE PURPOSE & CAREER

• Launch our women’s company corporate website
• Launch our first two projects

PURIFICATION

• Physical purification through pure water, whole foods, and remineralization
• Spiritual purification through meditation, chanting and study
• Emotional purification through movement (unstuck physicality and flexibility help release emotional blocks and stuck energy)

INTIMACY & VULNERABILITY

• Actively pursue a social and romantic life instead of staying in the house 24/7 working!
• Hold private “me time” sacred and cultivate a balance between intimacy with others and intimacy in solitude

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Angela’s Life Makeover Focus

You’ll formally meet Angela on our webinar (yay!), but in the meantime, here’s some insight into her focus:

LIFE PURPOSE & CAREER

• Streamline productivity and organization for big media push and business launch
• Launch first two projects
• Create Offline & Online PR Product

NOURISHMENT

• Soul nourishment through reconnection, integration, purification and journaling
• Physical nourishment through exercising, yoga, cleansing and nutrition
• Playful nourishment through travel, piggy bank for fun getaways, and exploring our new city!

DAILY RITUALS

• Sacred study
• Meditation, affirmations and chanting
• Create sanctuary and sacred space

The above are not our specific goals, which we’ll share with you on our webinar as examples while we help you create yours. Rather the above are simply the themes and areas of life we know we want to tackle during our 60 days.

SIGN UP TO JOIN US & MAKE OVER YOUR LIFE!

Also feel free to share your focus or the ‘theme(s)’ of your life makeover in the comments below.

13 months ago I took my first public step in vulnerability and confessed that I had A Secret I Could Never Tell.

Of course… then I chickened out and never actually spilled the beans (except on a few closed calls or interviews). Sitting here trying to tell it now, in writing… I’m still clamming up. And staring at an empty page.

I know something in me doesn’t want to write this post. Yet, it’s that part of me that got so good at hiding – and so comfortable with silence – that has held me back and hurt me for the past five years. It’s time for the rest of me to be stronger. Pardon me, however, as I take baby steps…

Baby Step 1. Why Tell My Secret At All?

Yep, that’s the question I keep asking myself. After writing and deleting, writing and deleting, let me just bullet it out for you:

• Keeping this secret has kept me single for 5 years. Taking the leap to break the silence TOTALLY is my way of taking massive action toward intimacy after 5 years of avoiding it.
• I want to stand up for the belief I’m trying to believe: that this secret doesn’t make me damaged goods, that it can be a known part of who I am without becoming the only thing I am in the eyes of others.
• I’m committing to do a public 60-day challenge with all of you, in which I’ll focus a lot on intimacy, authentic living and vulnerability. I can’t ask you to do these things, nor say I’m doing them, unless I’m really going all in and doing it for real.
• In my gut I know I’m ready, and it’s the right thing for me to do.
• I’m starting to have throat problems, when I meditate and enter any altered state of consciousness, I feel like I’m choking. I’m dreaming of people staking me in the throat. It all screams of a closed throat chakra, which is all about breaking silence and speaking our unspoken truth.
• I was wasting away, dying on the vine and unable to heal… until I decided that if I could use my experience to help other women, it would all be worth it. I have many reasons I need to do this for me, but what gave me the courage to actually do it was this mission

Baby Step 2. Why Is It So Hard to Say It?

Reason A: I was once overwhelmed with the need to tell this secret, but it was the wrong time. Have you ever noticed how most actions aren’t good or bad in and of themselves… but there can be a right time and a very wrong time to do them? Well after several years of knowing that public disclosure would do me and those I told more harm than good – it’s hard to trust myself that now is ever a right time.

Opening back up is hence difficult, like learning to drive an entire journey in reverse.

Reason B: I was told that if I ever told anyone my secret, I would die. At the time I didn’t believe it, but after having this programmed into me for hours and days, it somehow dug itself into my brain. Last year, when I planned to go public, I started having panic attacks and visions and dreams of someone slitting my throat or killing me.

Breaking the silence is hence doubly difficult.

Baby Step 3. Finally Just Saying It…

Five years ago I almost became one of those cautionary tales – those women who leap toward opportunity or salvation only to then vanish and never return.

I remember the day vividly: it was June 6th, 2006. I was sitting on a plane, on my way back home to California, crying in shock and awe that I was really going home. I had stopped believing for a time that I would ever return, though now I know that not all of me made it back in one piece. There were parts of me, newly fractured, that would remain forever scattered across the narrow belly of a mobile home trailer.

I had just endured three weeks of daily molestation and rape at the hands of a man I had trusted to help mentor me spiritually and in business. We had worked together for 6 months online, but I guess you never really know a person.

Every day he reprimanded me for “making him feel like he did anything wrong.” According to him, he was doing me a favor – helping me through the abyss of my original trauma. I wished I had never told him about being molested by a neighbor when I was 5… the asshole used all my secrets against me.

The greatest damage he did though was through his twisted words. For hours every day, he would program me with NLP and whatever else he had up his sleeve. It was an endless and expertly delivered litany of “you can always leave if you want to, but I promise you that if you do, you will die tragically. It may be in 2 weeks or even 2 years. It may be through alcohol, a drug overdose, or because you become so disgusted with yourself that you take your own life. Either way, I promise you… if you leave here, it will kill you.”

He also swore me to secrecy. I was told under no uncertain terms: if you tell anybody – if you defy me or go against me, “you will be utterly destroyed, without hesitation.” The man had an ego complex clearly, and I learned later, he’d gone off antidepressant medication which explained his escalating violence and rage each day.

I was not the first woman he did this to, and the last woman stayed 11 years. When he ‘took me in,’ she then escaped. Through the fall out of all that, I was able to get away. He caught me with bags packed, trying to leave – and by some grace he was so pissed off that instead of bashing my head in, he tossed me and my bags in his truck and left me at the airport.

Baby Step 4. Releasing Blame

Over the years, I began telling select friends, and eventually my own parents, about what happened to me. It was a moonlit journey through a forest with many trees.

Because as far as I was concerned, anyone who knew the truth would blame me and reprimand me just like he did. I struggled with questions I knew others would ask: why didn’t I try to escape sooner? Why did I give up and stop fighting back after the first time?

And so when I first told the story, I lied about most of the details. I said he only violated me once and then I left. In another rendition, I confessed it had been constant through the entire three weeks. But I lied and said I escaped when he’d left that final day – I left out the part where he caught me trying to leave. I figured if someone knew that in the end he voluntarily let me go, it would invalidate the way I felt imprisoned and caged the rest of the time.

Luckily I now know that chains come in many different forms. Paralysis isn’t always laced in iron.

Telling the entire truth today is not only my exercise in breaking silence. It’s my way of releasing blame and acknowledging that what happened to me was not my fault. I am choosing to believe ME, instead of him.

Baby Step 5. Stepping Forward With Gratitude

I know this is a tough story. It’s not fun to read and I appreciate you holding this space for me.

Also know that this is the latest stitch in a very long tapestry of healing. I’m okay. I’ve reached a place of gratitude for what this experience has made me, and for how I’ve transformed through making sense of it all. I am now fierce where I was once naive. I have wickedly accurate intuition now where once I was perpetually lost and confused. I had to fight so hard to love again, trust again, LIVE again that now my ability to love is rich and unconditional. My trust is repaired and my desire for a delicious life is unyielding.

These are the gifts we give ourselves through the working out of our own pains.

If I’ve learned anything through this, it’s that there is no spiritual bypass. We can’t skip the steps and we don’t want to. Every time we pierce the fabric of our lives with new awareness, new healing, new emotional upheaval as we face the hidden truths… these are the penetrations that reveal our truest and highest self. They are the weavings of a tapestry we create ourselves, with our own hands and in our own chosen image.

I know now that no one can take anything from me. Even in our darkest hours, with our worst experiences, in the end we hold the power to remake ourselves with greater artistry, awareness and purpose than we could have ever gained without the tragedies that inspired them.

With all the love and gratitude within me, thank you for being here.

Jaime

The bottom line though: it WORKS. Today it made a waitress cry and feel hope for the first time in a life riddled with violence and poverty. In a group of single mothers whose boyfriends are in and out of prison – even for one who’d been to prison herself – while struggling against a life without education or support from anyone who understands… these women are finding hope and joy in the place they least expected it.

They’re finding it in vulnerability.

Why Vulnerability is THE Mothership

Okay, so Angela (my business partner) and I have an inside joke about ‘the mothership.’ If you like, we can call it the motherlode. What we’re saying is that the more vulnerable you’re willing to be (in a safe space of course), the happier you’ll become.

Now the first time I heard this, I wanted to scream. Because vulnerability felt like a nasty word. If you’re like I was, it may raise feelings of shame, fear, and disconnection. Not to mention we often stack emotions on top of vulnerability, so it could also feel like anger, betrayal, anxiety or judgment.

In my case, vulnerability meant being weak, being taken advantage of, and not being strong enough.

Yet researcher Brené Brown, PhD. has made studying courage and vulnerability her life’s work – first to disprove the value of vulnerability… and then to embrace and encourage it. Why? Because she found that vulnerability was the singular thing that differentiated happy people from unhappy people, and that embracing it can lead to authentic happiness – because embracing it allows us to feel truly worthy.

In one of her TEDTalks, she says:

“The only difference between people who felt worthy, and those who didn’t, was that those who felt worthy were able to be vulnerable.

They believed that what made them vulnerable also made them beautiful. They knew it was necessary and were willing to risk loving, being authentic, and giving of themselves… when there were no guarantees.”

In theory it all sounds nice, but if vulnerability is so great, why is it so hard? Why should we bother?

Why We Struggle With Vulnerability

Most of us involuntarily experience vulnerability when life breaks us open, or when another attacks or harms us. So feeling vulnerable doesn’t always feel good. We might then begin to associate it with feeling ashamed, weak and not good enough, and eventually we begin to fear and avoid it as a way to stay safe and in control.

The problem isn’t with vulnerability though. It’s with being forced into a state we haven’t chosen. Some of us have never experienced this state by choice, and so we’ve never known vulnerability without all the nasty stuff thrown in on top of it.

This wouldn’t be so bad except that when we avoid vulnerability, we cut ourselves off from life and all basic emotion – the good stuff and the bad. This is because the only way to stop feeling vulnerable is to numb it. Unfortunately, we can’t selectively numb emotion. When you do away with any of the nasties like shame or anger, you have to chuck out the whole bunch.

So when we numb vulnerability, we also numb joy. We numb gratitude. We numb happiness and love.

This is why stepping into vulnerability is the great leap toward happiness. We’re flipping our switch back on!

How to Open the Gates to Vulnerability

Yes it’s true, opening up to vulnerability can at first open us back up to the tough stuff, the reasons we shut down in the first place. But to let happiness and joy back into life, we have to allow the rest of it too. I’ve found in my life, my fear of it was always far worse than the experience of it.

And don’t worry – as we walk back into vulnerability, I’ll never ask you to do something I haven’t yet done myself. Though I’ve become very good at being vulnerable, I also know that there’s ONE particular way I’ve planned to be vulnerable, but chickened out at the last minute every time…

So now I’m going to lead by example, and invite you on this journey with me.

Do you remember that last year I wrote a post, The Secret I Could Never Tell, where I promised to eventually share my own deepest darkest secret?

You may have noticed I never released that follow up post. I shared my secret here and there on closed group calls to limited participants. But I never took that big leap of ultimate vulnerability and shared myself for real, in the open, and in writing.

Next week I’m going to. Finally. And I’m doing it because part of my 60-day challenge is to feel truly alive again. To practice vulnerability and intimacy. And I can’t pursue that live and in public with all of you unless I start by being vulnerable and authentic with those of you joining me on my journey.

So look out for this special post around next Tuesday. Bear with me, because I’ll have a lot of resistance coming up – as I have in the past – when I try to really do this. I’m practicing accountability by telling you first that I’ll do it, and giving me (and you) a deadline, so you can hold me to it.

Together we’re going to ride this rocketship to joy. I need this, or I’ll die on the vine. You may be in the same boat, and I invite you to take this same ride. The group of single mothers and waitresses – we’re creating a group to help them do this too.

Angela and I are willing to lead the way. You can join in any time with our 60-day challenge. If, like our new waitress friends, you break through to greater hope and happiness as a result, it makes every little bit of our hard work worth it. It makes our hearts sing.

So let’s giddyup!!

P.S. If you’re inspired to really do this 60-day challenge with us, pledge yourself in the comments below. If you know how you can invite vulnerability for yourself, declare it for you and others below. We’ll support you. And so will all our wonderful souls who show up here. I’m realizing how much just giving voice and commitment to what we want starts making the difference.

Much love, Jaime.

Photo by David Blackwell

I’m obviously not really talking about the drug here. But you get my point. What if you could get your bank account to swell with positive vibes and balances the same way the brain swells with the happy happy, joy joy during an ecstasy trip? And it was for REAL. Forever.

I’m talking true wealth, and true joy. Together.

Because authentic happiness, just like authentic wealth, is soooo much better!

So here’s a quick 3 ways you can launch your finances on an authentic ecstasy trip: authentic wealth that resonates with authentic happiness and love. Because at a vibrational and emotional level… it’s all the same stuff.

This will also prime us for massive quantum leaps when we start focusing action alongside these 3 steps during our 60-day challenge!! It’s like fueling up for the journey. The three ways described below will not only fill up your bank account – they fill YOU up. And that’s important because we can’t achieve massive change and achieve our goals if we’re overwhelmed or depleted or running on empty.

So don’t just read this and think, awww that was cute. ACTUALLY DO THIS.

3 Ways to Create Wealth as a Function of the Happy Happy, Joy Joy!

1. Give yourself one small thing every other day
It could be a compliment, flowers, a single unhurried hour for a bath or book. It could be a present or a kind word or an indulgence in a hobby or passion. However small or big, give yourself something at least once every other day.

2. Give someone else one small thing on the other days
The day after you give something to yourself, give something to someone else. It could be a hug, a kind word or compliment, a phone call, or a gift. Pray for someone or share your gratitude for them. Give to the people you love and the people you know. Then give to people who kind of annoy you or to complete strangers!

3. Practice awareness and follow your gut.
What is happening as you begin giving to yourself and to others is that you’re filling up with love. You’re filling your own ‘emotional bank account’ so that even when you give to others in Step 2, it’s still filling you up.

So what you want to do next is pay attention to random thoughts, new ideas, crazy cravings and other subtle messages. They’re telling you what to do next – and they lead to the money honey!

That sudden craving for chips and hummus at 2am… that may just land you in the grocery line with your soulmate or an important colleague.

Most people misunderstand intuition because they think it’s something big and bold and screaming in your face. It’s not. It’s the tiny whisperings… the subtle desires or thoughts that come out of nowhere and will leave just as fast.

Always pay attention and take action on the silly and subtle stuff! Because those crazy ideas and inspirations are what lead you to your wealth! They were inspired by your higher vibration – they were inspired by love.

So giddyup cupcake! Give it a go and see what happens. You’ll discover so many more gifts than just money.

Also be sure to chime in below as you take each step and share the experience! This is how we inspire each other and challenge ourselves. Consider it practice, my peeps!!

It’s now August 2011 and for the first time in 25 months… I’m about to have a real home base again! After traveling the world for two years, Austin has seduced me, captured my heart, and for reasons beyond my logical rationalizations, it just feels like the right place I need to be.

To commemorate this epic shift in my adventurous life, I’ve decided, along with Angela Hartman (my business partner, friend and roommate) to engage in an insane 60 day challenge. We’re going to hold ourselves accountable to:

• Making $150,000
• Launch the first 2 projects for our women’s company, O! Lila
• Losing 15 to 20 lbs of fat each, and build muscle for some kick ass sexy bods!
• Volunteering for local children’s causes (looking into a Big Sis program!)
• Daily meditation and spiritual practice (the main thing both of us have lost while traveling and homeless)
• All within 60 days!

And the best part of all this?

We’re going to give you the opportunity to watch over our shoulders!

Follow along with our goal setting strategy meeting.

Use the same 60-day success method we use to produce dramatic action, results and transformation.

See our exact To Do list every morning and how we hold each other accountable to it every night.

Watch every step we take to go from below scratch to $150,000 in 60 days…

Watch as we get into the best shape of our lives with only 24 minutes a day, plus exactly what we eat!

I’m so excited to do this, I’m bursting at the seams! It was a random idea that popped into my head at 2:23am the other night. Because here’s the truth…

I’m doing this because I’ve failed to get my butt in gear over the past year!

This is my radical honesty and dramatic action to hold myself accountable to the higher standards I want to live by and achieve. For a year I’ve wanted to launch this women’s transformation company with Angela. For a year I’ve been trying to get into shape. For a year I’ve been trying to bring myself fully back to balanced life.

And for a year I’ve struggled and basically failed.

Yes I traveled, had fun, explored, ran my other successful businesses and got really really lost to all the details.

Now it’s time to GET FOUND. And to step up and do what I know I came here to do.

Get ready to hold me accountable. Get ready to join me and Angela on this 60-day journey. Get ready to set your own goals and achieve your own results alongside us! And get ready to look over our shoulder to see exactly how it gets done, day to day.

We’ll be gearing up to begin around Sept 15th.

In the meantime, I’ll be blogging to get us all pumped and prepared!

For now I’ll leave you with this:

The world of tomorrow is created based on your acts of today. I came across this principle while reading Paramhansa Yogananda’s “Autobiography of a Yogi.” And though we all know, teach and believe this – I still found upon reflection that I’d become lax these past 12 months. Content with continuing my easy consulting work rather than truly strive forward with my passion venture.

I found that I kept hoping for a new tomorrow – one where I was fit, healthy, balanced and grounded, and building a successful multimillion dollar business that reflected my passion and purpose.

I acknowledged that such a future required today’s actions: working out, sticking to a healthy lifestyle, staying put in a home base with my own things and my own energy, and maintaining daily strategic action that actually BUILDS a business – rather than continuing to brainstorm it while working on others’ businesses.

I was doing NONE of these things consistently over this past year. Yet I wanted the future they would create. Which is impossible.

And so I ask you to consider – what is the world of tomorrow you want to have? What acts of today are necessary to create it?

If you join me on this journey, I’ll help you figure that out and keep you taking those precise actions day in and day out. Together, we’ll make the world of both our tomorrows inevitable.