JAM CELLAR: DC Swing Dance + Lindy Hop

Newsbreaking Swingdance Headlines for Nov 10!

Bobby White — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:08:32 +0800

This week, DJ Kate Hedin</h1)
Gets the dance floor more crowded than you've ever seen.

THIS WEEK: "Slips and Hips" November series Week 2

We'll be covering slips and slides for the leaders, some great styling and hip work for the follows, and flashy embellishments and footwork for everyone. Come join the Jam Cellar Crew as they show you how to doll up your dancing. To get the utmost enjoyment out of the class, Leaders may want to wear leather or suede soled shoes. For Intermediate/Advanced Lindy Hoppers. Nov 3 ? Nov 24, 8:30-9:30pm (4 wks) $55 (dances included). Drop-ins welcome ? $12 for class and $15 for class and dance.

NEW BLOOD NIGHT next week! (Nov 17)

In case you are unaware of the archaic Pagan ritual known as New Blood Night, then allow us to explain: Anyone who's never been to the Jam Cellar before, gets in free. Anyone who brings a friend to the Jam Cellar who's never been before, also get's in free. They are then sacrificed to the God Helios of Balthazar. That last part is a joke. Seriously. We promise. Come to New Blood Night!

Nov. 21: Boilermaker Jazz Band at Glen Echo!

The Jam Cellar is combining the amazing Boilermaker Jazz Band and the beautiful Glen Echo Spanish Ballroom to harken and lament the end of autumn. This favorite from Pittsburgh never disappoints. $15 Admission. Beginner Swing Lesson @ 8PM (Free with admission).
Dance From 9PM ? 12AM. Presented in cooperation with the Glen Echo Park Partnership for Arts & Culture, Inc., the National Park Service and Montgomery County, MD.

In other news…

Up and Coming Lindy Hop Lead Begins Strict Regimen of Drinking, Hitting on Foreign Women.

After a recent string of successes in small competitions, Adam Vance, 25, of Rockport, has decided to take his dancing to the next level with a strict regimen of drinking and hitting on foreign women.

"I looked at what all my friends were doing, and what some of the truly great dancers do whenever I see them at a weekend, and I can only deduce that this is how they got so good. Excuse me, my kidney hurts."

To do so, Vance has almost completely cut back on his five hours of dance studio practice a week, where he used to spend the time refining his technique, inventing new moves, and working on aerials with a gymnastics coach. Instead, he has begun spending almost all his funds building up a tolerance to booze and Facebooking flirtatious messages on all the walls of the girls he has met from Canada, Sweden, and France.

He thinks his new method is beginning to pay off. "When I went out for my last competition, I heard so many people scream out for me, all my new drinking friends, and everyone was yelling encouragement. I don't remember much after I blacked-out, but I think I might have impressed the judges with how hard-core I was. We'll see when the scores go up tomorrow. But right now, I got to go celebrate."

Swing Dancer/Historian Takes his Dancing to Final Step by Traveling to Germany, Shooting Nazis

Jerry Rollings, 36, a swing historian and professional dancer, has decided to take his dancing to its final evolutionary step by quitting professional dancing, training for six weeks, traveling to Germany, and shooting Nazis.

"I mean, I've worked for a long time on all aspects of my dancing, the Charleston, 'Strict Balboa,' 'So-Cal Swing,' Lindy Hop, both 'Harlem' and 'Hollywood,' (he says, adding all quotation marks with his fingers), and I started to realize that I couldn't evolve it past a certain point. That's when I realized I had gotten to the point when all the original dancers suddenly had to go to war."

Since he prides himself as a historian most of all, Rollings will try the utmost to understand what the original Lindy Hoppers went through in the period of 1942-1945. After six weeks of basic training, including ropes courses and a diet consisting mainly of powdered eggs, Rollings will hire a plane to parachute him into Normandy, where he will then begin fighting his way to Berlin in the heart of Germany, where he is scheduled to teach a workshop. Armed only with a rifle and pistol, he will attempt to sleep as many nights as possible in mud-filled ditches and eat as many meals as possible out of his helmet. He hopes to kill several Nazis at close range, in order to give him the sorts of nightmares most of the original dancers are plagued with from their war experiences.

Meanwhile, his partner, Janice, is looking for a job working on airplanes.

Area Follow Makes Even Taking a Class a Competition

Julia Ferris, 26, of Roanoke, has begun making even taking a dance class a competition between herself and her good friend Marian Spacheck, 28. The two friends, who learned together in the early 2000s, have since risen to be the top followers in their scene, and Ferris has hoped to make headway as a national name.

Spacheck, however, has made it obvious that she doesn't care about becoming a famous Lindy hopper and merely has a great time dancing. In a recent pro-amateur competition, Spacheck took first place, leaving Ferris behind.

"If she doesn't care about competitions, then why doesn't she just stay out of them," an angry Ferris was overheard saying to her partner.

Spacheck's carefree attitude has not stopped Ferris from always trying to compete with her in every possible way, including fashion, conversational wittiness, and recently, how well they appear to be doing in masters classes.

"Well, I personally would rather dance with [Spacheck] any day." Said an area leader who wished to remain anonymous. "Julia Ferris? She just tries too hard."

Middle-Aged Single Man in Class Could Give a Crap About Technique

Devin Cooper, 43, of Rockville, Md, could "give a crap about technique," he told reporters Monday. "I'm really just in this class to learn enough damn turns to keep it interesting for a girl."

The single had spent much of his thirties learning ballroom and taking pottery classes, all in an effort to meet single women his own age. He recently has spent two years working on Lindy Hop, after he found he could not get the girls to be impressed with his six-count dancing anymore.

"I mean, my dance teacher starts talking about all the hours of practice I'll have to put into this, and I just sort of laugh. I mean, maybe if I find a girl I like I can use that practice time as an excuse to spend more time with her…"

Cooper has since decided that if he doesn't "get lucky" in the next few weeks, he will quit classes and move on to something that he thinks would require less practice, like Argentine Tango.

Jam Cellar Video: Hips & Slips (1/4) 11/3/09

The Jam Cellar — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 20:32:37 +0800

Jam Cellar Video: Building Your Basics (3/6)

The Jam Cellar — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 19:56:15 +0800

Your Jam Cellar email!

Bobby White — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:02:58 +0800

This week, DJ Abigail Browning

her bouyant tunes would keep the tin man from drowning.

BEGINNING THIS WEEK: "Slips and Hips" November series

We'll be covering slips and slides for the leaders, some great styling and hip work for the follows, and flashy embellishments and footwork for everyone. Come join the Jam Cellar Crew as they show you how to doll up your dancing. To get the utmost enjoyment out of the class, Leaders may want to wear leather or suede soled shoes. For Intermediate/Advanced Lindy Hoppers. Nov 3 � Nov 24, 8:30-9:30pm (4 wks) $55 (dances included). Drop-ins welcome � $12 for class and $15 for class and dance.

Nov. 21: Boilermaker Jazz Band at Glen Echo!

The Jam Cellar is combining the amazing Boilermaker Jazz Band and the beautiful Glen Echo Spanish Ballroom to harken and lament the end of autumn. This favorite from Pittsburgh never disappoints. $15 Admission. Beginner Swing Lesson @ 8PM (Free with admission).
Dance From 9PM � 12AM. Presented in cooperation with the Glen Echo Park Partnership for Arts & Culture, Inc., the National Park Service and Montgomery County, MD.

Jam Cellar Video: Lindy Technique (4/4) 10/27/09

The Jam Cellar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:43:46 +0800

Jam Cellar Video: Building Your Basics (2/6) 10/27/09

The Jam Cellar — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 11:27:51 +0800

What's that smell coming from the old, abandoned Jam Cellar?

Bobby White — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 22:13:41 +0800

Tonight DJ Lee Tucker,

who kicks in high gear like a mountain trucker.

Final Week for Lindy Hop Technique

Tonight is the last class of the series for Lindy Hop technique–inter/adv dancer walk-ins welcome.

Next Week: "Slips and Hips" November series begins!

Are we talking about old ladie's underwear and the things that occupy them? Sort of! We'll be covering slips and slides for the leaders, some great styling and hip work for the follows, and flashy embellishments and footwork for everyone. Come join the Jam Cellar Crew as they show you how to doll up your dancing. For Intermediate/Advanced Lindy Hoppers. Nov 3 – Nov 24, 8:30-9:30pm (4 wks) $55 (dances included). Drop-ins welcome – $12 for class and $15 for class and dance.

Nov. 21: Boilermaker Jazz Band at Glen Echo!

The Jam Cellar is combining the amazing Boilermaker Jazz Band and the beautiful Glen Echo Spanish Ballroom for a winter wonderland dance. This favorite from Pittsburgh never disappoints. $15 Admission. Beginner Swing Lesson @ 8PM (Free with admission)
Dance From 9PM – 12AM. Presented in cooperation with the Glen Echo Park Partnership for Arts & Culture, Inc., the National Park Service and Montgomery County, MD

"A Million Dollar Girl"

It was the week of Halloween a year ago that I was at the Jam Cellar, and my costume choice of "A dead Hugh Grant" was going over very well. I was sitting at the table, looking befuddled, when my good friend and fellow JC organizer motioned towards the water table and said "poor bastard."

Hovering around the table was Dan, a twenty-something who was occasionally looking out the glass door to see who was coming up the front steps. The whole scene looked like it lacked only a few paw prints on the door. He had the general air of a puppy, is what I mean.

"Why 'poor bastard?', if you don't mind my inquiring." (I was still in character).

In reply, she told me this story:

Well, Boobs (she calls me "Boobs" instead of "Bobby" because I had a powerful dream once I was drowned by them, and still couldn't decide whether it was the worst or best way to die), you remember how Dan used to be, right? Kind of geeky, but becoming very proud of who he was. I mean, he was confident, wouldn't you say? (I bowed in agreement.)

Might want to reapply your blood, you're dripping on the table. Anyway, where was I? Oh yes, confident. He was a very confident guy, and I know a few of the ladies around here found that attractive. I mean, to a woman, the only problem with being an unconfident geek is the unconfident part. Hell, we're swing dancers, we're all geeks. I date a guy who sleeps with a collection of essays.

(I gently coughed up blood to help abate the awkward silence.)
Sorry, where was I, again? Right. So, he was becoming a confident guy, and that's when he met Cindy. You know which Cindy I'm talking about, right?

(She didn't have to say another word. Cindy, you see, is what my college buddies always referred to as a "million-dollar girl." This is a woman who, in short, makes every man she meets feel like a million dollars. It's not very hard to do, so I've found out. All a girl has to do is look cute and laugh at all a guy's jokes, no matter how stupid they are. Anyway, it might have been incorrect to call Cindy a million dollar girl, she was probably in the billions category. She was the tops, is what I'm saying.)

Well, ever since she and R_____ broke up a few months ago, she's been on the prowl. She's been haunting this place like a rejected bride on the Moors. (Here I shuddered. Cindy was a very talented, if misguided girl, and I knew exactly what she was talking about. Cleavage was ample, laughs were musical– laps, sat on.)

Dan, the poor sap, walked right into it. Dan, as you know, is a flower. (A gardenia, I offered). A very fragile guy who was just getting to a point in his life when he was manning up to do things of great pitch and moment, when she came along and sat in his lap. (she could probably smell his impending manliness, I added). And you know Dan, well, he's not the kind of guy who has probably gotten a lot of attention from hot, flirty girls in his life.

Well, he thought everything was doing fine until she started paying a lot of attention to J____ , and Dan himself overheard M___ talking about how much Cindy obviously liked him (M_____, you see).

(Well, I saw the problem immediately. Dan had thought he had hit the lottery. However, once a fellow realizes that a million dollar girl makes every man feel like a million dollars, the sudden inflation leaves your earnings at around 37 cents.)

Dan was crushed, and ever since you can't have a conversation with the guy if she's in the room because he spends the whole time looking off in her direction. I'm telling you, he's a hollow shell of a man, Boobs.

(At this point, I asked her if she had any plans to help him).

I've thought about telling him she's not worth it, but if he does stop caring about her, it will just make her come back again. I figure he should probably learn from this mistake. (He doesn't seem to be learning too quickly, I mentioned. Cindy had just come in at this point, you see, and breezed right by him with a musical, but hollow, "hello." I swear I could almost hear a whimper.)

"There's something very eerie about it all," my friend continued. "A creature that only attacks you when you're strong, and leaves you alone when you're weak."

Later that night, seeing him hover around the part of the dance floor where Cindy was dancing, and making an obvious ass of himself, I pulled Dan away and introduced him to several of the sweet, intelligent single women that frequent the Jam Cellar, the kind who, though they will probably laugh at his terrible jokes, would do so only for his benefit, not their own.

This concludes October's Jam Cellar Ghost story series. We hope you will enjoy your future visits to the Jam Cellar more knowing its dark and haunted history. (I also hope that Jerry A____ realizes that not a single one of these ghost stories was set in the 1800s.).

Jam Cellar Video: Building Your Basics (1/6) 10/20/09

The Jam Cellar — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 18:09:42 +0800

Jam Cellar Video: Lindy Technique (3/4) 10/20/09

The Jam Cellar — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 17:43:13 +0800

What was that terrible noise coming from the old Jam Cellar?

Bobby White — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 03:34:01 +0800

Tonight DJ Glenn Scales

will make you shake your heads and tails

Volunteers

We're looking for some more volunteers who are willing to sacrifice either an early hour at the door or twenty minutes at closing time to help Jam Cellar run smooth. Perks include free admission, coupons at Piggly Wiggly, and an intoxicating air of confidence.

Week 3 of Lindy Hop Technique

In the past, we've usually gone with fancy titles. But, let's face it, the most important thing we can ever teach you is simply this: Lindy Hop Technique. Come and enjoy. Week 2 starts tonight, drop-ins welcome. 8:30 p.m.

Building Your Basics begins TONIGHT!

So, you have all these basics, and you want to build them. You could try it on your own at home, putting dents in the furniture and accidentally gluing the cat to the dog. Or, you could come to the Jam Cellar, for craft hour. Our famous Building Your Basics 6-week series is one of the world's best 6-week beg/intermediate series, taught you by the famous, and in some cases, infamous, Jam Cellar staff.

"The Haunting of Eleanora Fagan"

I was at the Jam Cellar about a month ago when my good friend and fellow JC organizer was DJing one of her killer sets. I had just walked off the floor with a feeling of great elation, as I had just danced to Chick Webb, which always leaves me feeling elated. By the way, did you know that apparently Chick Webb never recorded a song once that was anywhere near as good as he sounded when playing live at the Savoy? So most of us dancers alive today have never heard Chick Webb anywhere near his best, which is pretty astounding. But, that's a little off topic.

Anyway, I was happy and sweaty and needing a break, so I stretched out in a chair next to my DJ friend, who had suddenly changed the mood by putting on small combo song with a female singer.
While listening and taking in the effortless voice that was somehow both incredibly strong and fragile, I began to sink into a nostalgic melancholy. I mentioned as much to my friend, who told me the following:

"Well, Boobs (she's called me "Boobs" instead of "Bobby" ever since the incident), that's the curse of Eleanora Fagan."

"Who ?" I asked.

"Eleanora Fagan. She's the singer."

"But isn't this-"

"No, Eleanora was her real name. Though, I can understand why someone might want to change their name in the hopes of becoming someone else, or perhaps, pinpointing who they really are. But I think of the curse as Eleanora Fagan's, before she changed her name."

She then explained what she meant:

Elanor was born to a 13-year old mother, kicked out of her parents house. At ten years old, while living in Baltimore, she was raped. Because of this and misbehavior at school, she was sent to a horrific reform school and released a few years later, when her mother took her to live in New York to get away from it all. At fourteen, Eleanora's mother walked in on Eleanora being raped by a neighbor. The guy was sentenced to three months jail.

Only a year later, Eleanora was working at a brothel, spending time in jail for prostitution, and singing along to the brothel's piano player in her off-hours. The story goes that during a time in this period when she was especially broke, she sang "Travelin All Alone" for tips to an audience at a Harlem club, reportedly reducing the audience to tears. She was soon discovered, and was one of the first black women to sing with white bands like Bennie Goodman and Artie Shaw, but did her most stunning work with small groups under her own showbiz name.

Despite her success, the world of jazz at the time was a world of failed marriages, tumultuous love affairs, violent disputes, hard drugs and booze, and Eleanora was not immune. She had her heart broken and broke hearts in countless relationships with men and women, fought constantly with fellow singers and friends, and got into hard drugs. Imprisoned for narcotics soon after the war, the famous singer was constantly asked by other inmates to sing, but she never sang a note.

On her deathbed suffering from heart disease and liver failure, authorities tried to arrest her for drug possession. Swindled out of her record earnings, one of the greatest and most popular jazz singers of all time died with only 70 cents in the bank. She was in her early forties.

You can imagine, then, her sadness. Her misery. Her anger, her passion, her hopes. If you can't imagine, then just listen to a song. And that's the curse: every song of hers is haunted. That's why you feel sad when you listen to her say "I've got a man crazy for me, he's funny that way."

Because you know she's not singing it with a wink. You know that, somewhere, on the edge of her smile, there's a slight fear. As if she's wondering why he would want her. She was in her early forties.
As she finished her story, we sat still, looking into our own thoughts, while a smooth saxophone blew the smoke of the song into thin air.

Jam Cellar Video: Lindy Technique (2/4) 10/13/09

The Jam Cellar — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 11:40:14 +0800

Jam Cellar Video: Basic Swing (6/6) 10/13/09

The Jam Cellar — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 11:00:49 +0800

Don't go down to the old Jam Cellar, children. Ever.

Bobby White — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 11:29:53 +0800

Tonight, DJ Andy Reid

will give you what you need.

Week 2 of Lindy Hop Technique

In the past, we've usually gone with fancy titles. But, let's face it, the most important thing we can ever teach you is simply this: Lindy Hop Technique. Come and enjoy. Week 2 starts tonight, drop-ins welcome. 8:30 p.m.

Building Your Basics begins Oct 20

So, you have all these basics, and you want to build them. You could try it on your own at home, putting dents in the furniture and accidentally gluing the cat to the dog. Or, you could come to the Jam Cellar, for craft hour. Our famous Building Your Basics 6-week series is one of the world's best 6-week beg/intermediate series, taught you by the famous, and in some cases, infamous, Jam Cellar staff.

"The Third Bathroom"

It is known by many that The Jam Cellar has three restrooms on its premise. The most popular being the one under the stairs, and the one at the end of the hallway on the second floor. The few who have been to the third, however, have on several occasions mentioned its eeriness.

Picture it now: on the first floor, down a long dark hallway that somehow seems just a little bit longer than you can recall the house actually being. There, around a quick turn of the corner, is the small bathroom. It doesn't close or lock very well, giving one an unsettling feeling throughout the entire bathroom experience. There, any jazz music coming from above has a distant and dreadful quality about it, as if the major notes were all turned minor. Any minor swing songs likewise suddenly sound major, which if you can imagine "Minor Swing" in major, you realize is an even more creepy experience. And, for some reason, the bathtub is covered with large plywood. I will now endeavor to explain how the bathroom came to emote such a dreadful sensation.

I was sitting at the front desk of the Jam Cellar some time back, distracting my fellow Jam Cellar organizer from working the door, when someone asked if there was a restroom they could use. Seeing that the normal one under the stairs was occupied, I told them they could go to the one at the end of the hall on the first floor, but my co-organizer, who shall remain anonymous so that people don't bug her about this story, told the patron that he was using it at his own risk, as it was well known to be haunted.

Though I had often joked that it was haunted to other people who had asked, I had never heard someone else mention it.

"Is it really?" I asked.

"Oh, that's right Boobs (she calls me "Boobs" instead of Bobby because recently my push-up exercises were working too well), you never took the tour they give you when they give you a key. Well, they did one for me, and that's where I learned why we're not supposed to send people to the back bathroom."

She then told me this story:

Though it looks much older, the Josephine Butler Mansion, the site of The Jam Cellar, was actually built in1927, and, as the website says, was used as an Embassy for Hungary and Brazil. What was not known is why they housed both Brazil and Hungary in one embassy. Especially considering the centuries of well-known tension between the Brazilian and Hungarian peoples.

The Brazilians had control of the South side of the house (the side with the upstairs bathroom), and the Hungarians, the North side (the side where the dances take place.) This is why the staircase splits the way it does, so that each person can go to their respective embassy without crossing any other country's borders. Anyone who has been around the building will recognize the big problem: Brazil's side has two bathrooms (the upstairs and downstairs hall bathrooms) while Hungary only has one (the one under the stairs). It should also be noted that they held a weekly Brazilian Tango dance night (slightly different than Argentine Tango, it involves less clothes and more fruit).

Anyway, for almost two decades, the two countries shared the building and small back parking lot, with only minor disputes and fatalities. However, no one could foresee how bad they would get when the Nazis occupied Hungary in the early 1940s, and the American Hungarian Ambassadors were replaced by high-ranking SS officials who were surprised to find they would be sharing their American Embassy with the Brazilians. Their complaints to the White House went unanswered, and so began a long, bitter, passive-aggressive battle between the two countries in the mansion.
In fact, it was to upset their fascist neighbors that the Brazilians soon began renting out the mansion to a small jazz dance club, at that time called The Fant�me du Chat Jazz Club which we now know of today as The Jam Cellar. Despite how much the new Nazi residents complained to police about the noise, law officials said it was impossible to file a noise-complaint against something happening in one's own room. "Perhaps not impossible," law enforcement corrected, "but who wants that kind of paperwork?" So no charges were ever filed.

Perhaps the greatest source of tension, however, was the fact that the Brazilians, which the SS officers thought of as an inferior, however much more attractive, race, had two bathrooms. To get back at the Brazilians for the humiliation of allowing a jazz dance club to operate out of the Hungary-Nazi headquarters, the highest ranked Hungarian official, Ambassador Hurgenfreudenschlagenvitzen, decided he would begin using the Brazilians' bottom story bathroom.

Not only did he use it, but he did so in a way only a cold-hearted Nazi could; he left his urine on the toilet seat, he stole toilet paper, and he left his shavings all over the sink. Thinking he did so covertly, he would laugh to himself and make practical jokes, like putting cling wrap over the toilet. The Brazilians, of course, knew exactly what was happening when they noticed all the hair shavings were blonde.

They responded by "soaping the floor," a famous old Brazilian prank whereby Brazilian Bikini Wax is put on a slippery floor. Brazilians, who go everywhere shoeless, are immune to it. However, when the S S Commander went into the bathroom next, wearing the finest leather-soled boots the Gestapo could buy, he took a fatal goose step backwards, head first into the bathtub, snapping his neck like fresh celery. Fearing being sucked into a world war, the Brazillians simply buried the body under the bathtub.

By this point, America had entered the war against Germany, and so the law enforcement did little to investigate the matter further, and also didn't ask too many questions when, one after the other, all the other new ambassadors of Hungary kept disappearing after they mentioned they were just going to run to the restroom.

In the 1990s, Washington Parks and Recreation took over the house to use for its community projects. It had to board up the bathtub in the bottom hallway bathroom, however, when the water that came out of it was, despite every attempt to repair it, blood-colored.

Jam Cellar Video: Basic Swing (5/6) 10/6/09

The Jam Cellar — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:57:49 +0800

Jam Cellar Video: Lindy Technique (1/4) 10/6/09

The Jam Cellar — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:51:50 +0800

The Haunted Jam Cellar

Bobby White — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:02:31 +0800

Tonight, DJ Betsy Kipperman,

Who pips more than a pipper can.*

*"Pip" is, of course, derived from Gladys Knight and the Pips, and connotes an ability to dress extremely well and perform smooth music and dance performances.

This week: Lindy Hop Technique series begins

In a world where flashy dance moves look uncomfortable and unstable, one class has what it takes to change the world. It's our October series, Lindy Hop Technique, and it's all about, well, technique, which will be stealthfully taught to you while doing cool moves. So, did we say it's title was "Technique?" We meant "Cool moves." Sign up for our October series, "Cool Moves."

Building Your Basics begins Oct 20

So, you have all these basics, and you want to build them. You could try it on your own at home, putting dents in the furniture and accidentally gluing the cat to the dog. ("It's a dog-cat! I've created a monster! A monster that tries to eat itself!") Or, you could come to the Jam Cellar, for craft hour. Our famous Building Your Basics 6-week series is one of the world's best 6-week beginner series, taught you by the Jam Cellar staff, who are such good swing dancers they have to switch up who teaches classes because they're often stuck in foreign countries teaching them how to swing dance. It's a glorious, jet-lagged-filled cycle.

"Sketchy Eric"

Some time ago, it must have been a year or so, I was at the Jam Cellar, talking to my DJ friend during one of her more scratchy selections, when a girl in front of me did a styling in her swivels that I could only describe as "Rosy." Rosy, you see was a dancer in these parts once, and had what it took to one day be a professional, if she had desired it. And, I think she had desired it at one point. At the very least, she loved dancing, and was quickly becoming damn good at it when I saw her last. She said shepracticed a few hours a week, and even did this thing where she would spend part of the night practicing by herself-not just solo dancing, but dancing by herself, just to get better at styling and what not. However, it had now been a good six months since I had seen Rosy on the dance floor, and I asked my DJ friend about it.

My friend, who shall remain anonymous to keep her from being bugged about it, told me this story:

You haven't heard, have you? As you remember, Boobs (she calls me "Boobs" instead of "Bobby;" our friendship has other 6th grade aspects to it, as well), she used to come out every Tuesday. About six months before the disappeared, she was dancing here one night when a man approached her to dance. He was wearing a black hoodie and had straight black hair was what she said he looked like, later. Anyway, he said his name was "Eric," and he asked her to dance. She said it was not weird at first, he was just a little jerky with his arms and didn't know Lindy Hop, only a stomping-version of six-count. He asked her to dance a few more times that night, and, well, you know Rosy, she said yes.

The next few weeks, he kept popping up after she was done dancing with someone and asked her to dance. The dances were getting worse, too. He ceased asking her to dance and instead just held out his hand. He occasionally would "accidentally" swipe her boob on side-passes. He was bathing less, she noticed. It apparently was so bad one night that another dancer came up to ask her to dance right in the middle of one of her dances with Eric. Even though she appreciated him trying to save her, she wasn't rude enough-well, I don't think it would have been "rude", but it definitely wasn't in her personality to stop dancing with Eric in the middle of a song.

Over the next few weeks, this got worse and worse, Eric asking her to dance sometimes three songs in a row before he'd smile a really creepy smile and leave. The guys always tried to dance with her before he'd ask her to dance, but they were always too late. When the guys did dance with her, they found that she was dancing really weird because of all the dances with the sketchy guy. If you remember, she stopped looking happy when she came out dancing, which was totally strange. I mean, she was one of the happiest dancers I ever saw. Then, one night, Eric asked her to dance five songs in a row, on a Boilermaker night, no less, when she had a row of other guys trying to get her for a dance. She tried to turn him down, but he picked up her hand and just started dancing. You know Rosy-she sighed and kept on dancing. Halfway through the song, Eric suddenly said that he was going to throw her into an aerial, and that she didn't have to worry, she just had to make sure to tuck her head on 4 and 1/2. At this point Jeff Booth, you know, Jeff-I-only-get-upset-at -disappointing-Cure-albums- Booth, stepped up. "Just what's the [expletive omitted] deal, here, [expletive omitted] douche-[expletive omitted]?"

"Sorry, Jeff, he just kept asking me to dance," Rosy said, who as you know, absolutely hates making a scene.

"Haha, that's [expletive omitted] hilarious, [expletive omitted, though if I recall, it involved sheep]." He said. "You're being a [expletive omitted, inv. human anatomy]."

"What?" Rosy said, who realized that Jeff was talking to her.

"It's Boilermaker night," he said. "Are you going to dance with yourself all night long, and then make some stupid joke when real guys are asking you to dance?"

At this point, she protested, pointing to the Sketchy Guy that had been dancing with her for proof. Only, she didn't. I mean, she pointed, but he wasn't there. No one was.
Later that night, she told Jeff everything, and Jeff, aside from being a great listener, knows everyone. "Holy [scatological expletive omitted]," He said. "You weren't dancing here ten years ago, were you?"

She nodded "no."

"Well, at the height of the neo-swing craze, The Jam Cellar was called Hep-Cat Daddy-O's. We had, on average, about three hundred people here a night. Our Jam Circle's would last two or three repeats of "Sing, Sing, Sing" and "Rock This Town," at least. There was this one guy, "Sketchy Eric" they called him, who would only dance with the best girls or beginner girls he was trying to hit on. Anyway, he was hated around here, but we never had an excuse to throw him out. Then, one jam circle, everyone who knew any tricks had already gone out to dance, so, of course, it was time for two guys to go out and dance. During the first few minutes of the jam, Eric had suckered some guy into working on an aerial with him in a corner, so when the time came, the two guys went out, did some basics, and then this guy took Eric into Tom and Derba's candlestick-of-death move. Eric, as you know, is about two hundred pounds heavier than Debra, and his partner, who was supposed to hold him up, slipped at the part where Eric dives down his back. There was no chance for Eric, the doctor's didn't even try. In fact, it was about ten years ago exactly."

Above their heads, the Boilermakers were packing up their gear, and dancers hung around in the halls talking. To get them to leave, the DJ started playing Brian Setzer's "Rock this Town."

"I haven't seen Rosy since," said my friend, finishing her story. I called her, though, a few weeks ago, and she said she's taken up Tennis. I didn't have the heart to tell her that was Eric's other passion.

By this time, my friend was playing some music that was actually recorded in the 1900s, and I noticed an intermediate dancer working on her swing-outs and swivels by herself. I tightened up my dance shoes, walked over to her, and insisted that she allow me to cut in.

Jam Cellar Video: Basic Swing (4/6) 9/29/09

The Jam Cellar — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 09:47:42 +0800

Jam Cellar Video: Intro To Balboa (5/5) 9/29/09

The Jam Cellar — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 09:38:35 +0800

Jam Cellar Video: Intro To Balboa (4/5) 9/22/09

The Jam Cellar — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 10:24:36 +0800

Jam Cellar Video: Basic Swing (3/6) 9/22/09

The Jam Cellar — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 10:00:18 +0800