I tend to learn and be reminded more about myself and the God I love through interactions with my son. Occasionally I’ll share these little nuggets with you. Lucky for you (since I apparently haven’t had anything to say since the beginning of the year) I get to share one of those stories with you now.

As we stopped at one of the many traffic lights in town, I glanced back to see my son had just removed one of his shoes and was now holding it in his hands. I asked him “Did you take off your shoe, Caed?” He quickly responded with the sweetest “Noooo” as he shook his head. Now, Caedmon has entered the phase where he loves to say “no” to any question you ask him. It’s really cute and entertaining. I naturally smiled at his reaction, but then something happened.As he was answering me, he looked around for a few seconds and then threw the shoe down in the back of my car. He then looked directly at me to see my reaction.

It hit me that this fear of being found out is within all of us, even as little children. There is this fear and false belief that we won’t be loved if we do something wrong. That’s why our initial instinct is to cover things up, deny things, run away instantly when we find ourselves in those situations. This is why we have the tendency to hide from our friends, family, and even God. WE ARE AFRAID OF BEING FOUND OUT.

But here’s the truth. For even while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.[Romans 5:8]

I believe God wants us to be upfront and honest with him about the shoes we have removed and tried to hide in our own lives.  The little lies we tell.  The things we do when we’re alone.  The struggles we all have that “nobody knows about.”   God desperately wants you and I to come with every single ounce of our being.  The good and the bad.  It’s only when we’re honest with ourselves and the God who loves us that we can move past these things and find healing.

Caedmon’s looking at me, waiting for a response.  He didn’t hit anyone or steal someones toy, he removed his shoe.  It was nothing, really…but to him?  he felt like it was wrong and I would be upset with him.  And so I did what God does to all of us in these moments when ‘we’ve been found out.’   I reminded him how much his daddy loves him.

If there’s one thing my son knows, it’s that I love him. A. WHOLE. FREAKING. LOT.   Anytime I ask him ‘how much does daddy love you?’, his arms will fly up and out as far as they can go.  And I’ll respond, ‘That’s right! And so much more!”

You need to be reminded that no matter what you’ve done, and no matter how much you’ve tried to cover it up. Your Daddy loves you!  As far as the left hand is from the right; the east from the west.  Your God LOVES you. And NOTHING will ever change that.

This is the final entry to my favorite music of 2011.  There’s so much more I would like to add.  I wrestled narrowing it down to only ten.  I hope you enjoy the list!

seryn – this is where we are

what a wonderful album to listen to as you write/work.  This group from Denton, TX are remarkable.  Who know something so un-twangy could come out of Texas?  I kid, I kid.  Enjoy one of their popular songs, We will all be changed

bon iver – bon iver

I am so grateful that this release finally happened.  It was long overdue since their initial full length release in 2007.  This music allows me to escape to a more beautify tranquil place.  Listen and I think you’ll agree.  besides, this music video is by far one of my favorite. Ever.  I want that kind of freedom for me – and Caedmon – and everyone else around me.

sunbears – you will live forever

Jonathan Berlin is a freaking genius.  Psychedelic Rock to the rescue.  Give love a try? Give love a try!

civil wars – barton hollow

The story of how Joy and John Paul met and became an international success at what seems like over a night is awe-inspiring.  I’ve probably listened to this album more than any other this year.  As much respect I had for their recordings, it grew when I saw them live.

So that’s it for my top music of 2011.  Again, I can’t begin to tell you how hard it was to narrow it down to just 10.  Those just missing the cut with their latest releases: Wilco, Fleet Foxes, Beirut, John Mark McMillan and James Morrison.

Here’s the second segment featuring some of my favorite music from 2011.  Enjoy!

cults – cults
This band hails from Manhattan. Their indie-pop sound is addicting and after you listen below you’ll see why.  I listen to this song, Go Outside, when I want a little pick-me-up.

the belle brigade – the belle brigade
what do you expect from John William’s grandchildren?  John Williams has always been one of my favorite modern composers and his ability to create incredible music has been passed down through his bloodline.  This brother-sister duo has left me speechless at times.  Check out their song/video to Losers

ryan adams – ashes & fire
A North Carolina native who probably doesn’t need much of an introduction.  This was another album that provided me much needed company at many late hours and past many white lines on these carolina roads.  Here’s the opening track, Dirty Rain.

Be sure to check out Part I featuring the head and the heart, dawes, and milo greene. 

With 2011 coming to a close I decided it would be nice to look back at some of my favorite releases this year.  Check back this week for more of my favorites. Be sure to share some of yours in the comments below.

the head and the heart – the head and the heart
Based out of Seattle this band has quickly became one of my favorites.  The meta tag on their website describes their music well. “The Head and the Heart live authentically in that crux, finding joy and beauty wedged there.”  Technically this album was originally released in 2010 and re released in 2011, but we’ll let that slide.  Enjoy a live rendition of their song Ghosts, recorded live on KEXP in Seattle.

dawes – nothing is wrong
This album has helped keep me sane on some late night drives this year. These guys are from Los Angeles and actually were a post-punk band before abandoning that for a folk rock sound. I couldn’t imagine the world any other way.  This is their latest music video, Time Spent in Los Angeles.

milo greene – the hello sessions

Another band from Los Angeles.  Their haunting 4-part harmonies mixed with their unique yet distinguished vocals leaves you with a 4 song EP  that will leave you wanting more.  Thankfully, I got my hands on some of their unreleased material that will debut in 2012.   I caught wind of this band early this fall and was really excited to find out they were touring with The Civil Wars.  Thankfully that concert was rescheduled and I was able to pick up some tickets on eBay.  You must see these guys live if they’re in your area.  Trust me. Enjoy a live recording of their song, 1957.

be sure to check out Part II featuring: Cults, The Belle Brigade and Ryan Adams

I spent the day last Friday playing golf with an old college friend. He and his wife were in town for Thanksgiving, so he sent her out shopping and we chased a white ball around the golf course.

We played 72 holes of golf and had plenty of time to talk and catch up. They’re expecting their first child in just a few months, so naturally we talked a lot about the feelings and preparations leading up to the big day.

Naturally I looked back at the time leading up to Caedmon’s arrival. There were so many things that had to be done. We had to prepare a place for Caedmon to sleep. A place to store his clothes, his diapers (both before and after), his toys, and well… everything else that was given to us.

As he grew and began to crawl and then start running overnight, we had to make sure fragile things were out of reach, safety plugs in all of the outlets, locks on doors. It was a lot of work and preparation into getting everything in order, but it was definitely worth the investment.

Now I’m able to run around and play with Caedmon without having to worry about him getting into something that may be dangerous. If I had not done this I bet I would have been saying this a lot: “No, don’t go there! Don’t mess with that!” Instead I’m able to enjoy laughing and making great memories with Caedmon.

We’re in the season of Advent where the church prepares for the second coming of Christ by remembering the time leading up to his first arrival as a baby boy.
You’ve probably gathered this isn’t a post about keeping Jesus out of your home. Great job for being intuitive!

This is about preparing our homes and lives to experience the fullness of Jesus. It’s time to take a look and check on the things that could be dangerous to our relationship. It’s time to find the things where we would cry out, “No, Jesus! Don’t go in there—don’t touch that!” and get rid of them so we can laugh and make wonderful memories together.

What does Jesus-proofing your home and your life look like?

It most likely won’t be an easy process.

But it’s worth it.

“It’s a beautiful day and I thank God for the weather / It’s a beautiful day and I’m living it for the Lord / It’s a beautiful day and things are going to get better / Living each day on the promises of God’s word.”

Our team in Petersburg, AK. Summer 2004

I have wrote about this before, like way back in February of 2005.  When I lived and worked in Alaska we would wake up singing this song if the weather was dreary.  Pastor Jimmie Stringer taught this song to us during our first week in the rain forest of Southeastern Alaska.  He also instilled a deep truth about pushing through circumstances.

So yes, I love rain.  It brings back some wonderful memories and seems to always put a new beat in my step.

Last night I finished the lengthy process of importing my xanga posts from 2004-2005.  After going through each individual post and reading all of the comments I derived the following list:

• I was a broken and confused college kid.
• God certainly has done a lot of healing since then.
• In spite of the healing I could see other things I still struggle with currently.
• I have lost contact with several good friends from my past.

It’s no surprise to anyone who knows me that I love spending time with my son. 
If I don’t pull out my phone within the first 15 minutes of our conversation to show you the latest picture or video, you’re not that close with me.  So, let’s grab lunch someday soon?

Anyways, last year I took a moment to write about my ten favorite father moments. I figured it was fitting to look back and think of five more great moments with my boy, Caedmon.  Plus it gives me a reason to post pictures and video of the love of my life. (As if I needed a reason)

1. Going to Panthers games.
We technically have only gone to one game together.  We went to the first preseason game against the NY Giants, on my birthday.  We witnessed Cam Newton’s first official play as a Panther. Hopefully this is only the first of many great experiences in this stadium.

2. Going to the park.
Caedmon LOVES zooming down the slides.  A lot of great memories will be made here.

3. Bath Time.
I can see how this would be overlooked, but to me this is one of the most special times between Caedmon and I.  We have boat and car chases through the great depths of Ocean de Tub.  Splashing to the music (when we play music).  It’s a great opportunity to engage and make lasteing memories. Give it a try!

4. Playing music and singing
“If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands… … if you love your mom and daddy, they’re the best you ever haddy, if you lover your mom and daddy clap your hands.”  I make up a lot of verses to that song.  it’s fun to watch Caedmon shake his head to the beat and clap on cue.We’ll even sit around and play guitar/sing.   Check out this video of us from earlier this summer.  He had the shaker in his right hand for the longest time and switched right before I hit record.

It’s been a long and eventful year since I last posted.  I’ll save you from the details and just let you know that the future is bright.

It’s been an interesting journey musically as well.  Most of you are accustomed to hearing me play just acoustic guitar.  While leading worship over the last year the tone of my music became edgier and driven more by electric guitar.   This summer I began experimenting with digital loops in worship.  I became intrigued by creating digital music.

Over the last two months I have spent time with my iPad and Reason on my MacBook Pro. The result is a new EP entitled [re]birth. It’s an electronic instrumental collection.  There were really no words that I could express about the journey, so it’s fitting this is what came out.  I hope you enjoy.

You can download the entire EP for free on Noise Trade.