The Other Side of the Story

Guest Author Allison Rushby: I Don't Know How She Does It (well, actually, I do…)

2012-02-28T06:00:00.001-05:00

Today, I'd like to welcome Allison Rushby to the blog to help us figure out how to do it all. Okay, maybe her advice is aimed more at juggling writing and being a parent, but even those without children can pick up a trick or two from her wise words. Her newest novel Shooting Stars releases today, so be sure to check it out.

Over the past ten years, Allison has published five books for young adult readers and five for adult readers in the women’s fiction genre. She is currently working on a six episode New Adult e-serial for St Martin’s Press, a new YA novel, a travel memoir and her sanity.

Having failed at becoming a ballerina with pierced ears (her childhood dream), Allison instead began a writing career as a journalism student at The University of Queensland in Brisbane, Australia. Within a few months she had slunk sideways into studying Russian. By the end of her degree she had learned two very important things: that she wasn't going to be a journalist; and that there are hundreds of types of vodka and they're all pretty good. After several years spent whining about how hard it would be to write a novel, she finally tried writing one and found it was quite an enjoyable experience. Since then, she has had nine novels published. She keeps up her education by sampling new kinds of vodka on a regular basis.

Take it away Allison...

I love Allison Pearson's book I Don't Know How She Does It. It always makes me smile when I recall the scene where heroine Kate bashes mince pies with a rolling pin to make them look homemade. If you're a mother and a writer too, you're sure to have understood Kate's motherhood vs. work predicament. You can't not.

I always find myself remembering that scene when other writer mothers ask me how I 'do it'. The truth is, until both my kids hit school this year, how I 'did it' was a nanny three days per week. I always felt bad when I admitted this was how I managed to find the time to write. Probably because I knew this wasn't an option for every mother out there who wanted to write. But the fact was, writing was my job, my son couldn't attend day-care because of health problems and I simply couldn't write whilst also looking after my two kids. Somehow they always wanted something. Like food (what's with that?!).

Now I have both kids at school, I have more time. But that time can slip away fast if I'm not careful. Between drop off and pick up, I have roughly five hours per day in which to write. That's 25 hours per week. Not exactly a full-time job. In 2012, I have a YA release out in February (Shooting Stars, Walker Books). I'm in the middle of writing a Downton Abbey-esque New Adult six episode e-serial for St Martin's Press that should be released one episode per month starting June 2012. And I'm also writing a travel memoir as we're living in Cambridgeshire, in the UK, for 18 months. It's a lot to fit into 25 hours per week, especially when you add in PR, email and so on. So, how do I do it? Well, I have a few small tricks up my sleeve that I've learnt over the years. So, here's 'how she does it':

She tells her muse to get stuffed. Pre-kids, I used to have to feel 'in the mood' to start a new ms/do those revisions/finish off those page proofs. Not anymore.

She knows you can get some work done even if there is only ten minutes to spare. I used to need to allocate large blocks of time for things. Now I know I can sketch out a chapter, or write a hundred words or so while I'm sitting in the car waiting to pick one of my kids up. I haven't yet lowered myself to writing in the bathroom, as some friends have, but I'm not saying I'll never go there. Your call.

She doesn't 'do' coffee except as a very special treat. Plenty of people will think that working from home means you are always available. And you are. If you never want to get another word written, that is. Remember it's okay to say no, or to schedule ahead. The thing is, two weeks from Friday might be a better time to do coffee than tomorrow, especially when you promised yourself you'd finish that second draft by the end of this week. The best bit: when you finally have that scheduled coffee, second draft all done, you know you totally deserve an éclair as well (and we all know éclairs have no calories when you've reached your writing goals).

She has six monthly goals, monthly goals and weekly goals. More work gets done if you know exactly what you're meant to be doing as soon as you sit down. I have a document I update weekly with what I need to be doing each day, as well as an outline of what's going on monthly and six-monthly work-wise.

She always factors in a bit of extra time to deal with sick kids, sick animals and sick cars. As a mother, there's always something. I know that if I need two weeks to do some revisions, it's better to add a couple days on to the end of that time-span just in case. If nothing goes wrong – bonus! Coffee and éclair time! (Or, you know, you could start in on the next task…).

When the going gets tough, she gets out her egg timer. If I'm really struggling to write, I find an egg timer can help. I trick myself by saying I'll do only 30 minutes before stopping for a cup of coffee/Facebook break/Twitter-fest etc.. By the end of 30 minutes, I always seem to keep writing.

She schedules in at least one writing conference/retreat/workshop per year. These might seem like just another thing to keep you from your writing, but I find them invigorating and always come away ready to write harder and smarter. I network. I have little planning sessions with myself. I hang out with people who get what I do. I laugh. This is incredibly important when you work by yourself day in and day out. When your work Christmas party consists of you, a photocopier and a bottle of vodka, you need to add those other people in at some point or you might start thinking those characters of yours are real.

So, how do you 'do it'? However you manage things, I'm sure it's a combination of tried and tested methods you've developed over the years – like so many other writer mamas (and Kates) out there – cramming it in from all angles and getting more than we all ever expected done. Let's share tips.

About Shooting Stars

Meet Josephine Foster, or Zo Jo as she’s called in the biz. The best pint-sized photographer of them all, Jo doesn’t mind doing what it takes to get that perfect shot, until she’s sent on an undercover assignment to shoot Ned Hartnett—teen superstar and the only celebrity who’s ever been kind to her—at an exclusive rehabilitation retreat in Boston. The money will be enough to pay for Jo’s dream: real photography classes, and maybe even quitting her paparazzi gig for good. Everyone wants to know what Ned’s in for. But Jo certainly doesn’t know what she’s in for: falling in love with Ned was never supposed to be part of her assignment.

Footloose and Not So Fancy Free: Four Ways to Update an Old (And Familiar) Stories

2012-02-27T06:00:00.005-05:00

When the hubby and I watched the new Footloose movie and we had mixed feelings about it. Part if it was easily because the original 1984 version was a big part of our teen years, but part of it was due to the almost too faithful remake. Nothing felt fresh, even though it was new movie. It took what was already out there and just re-made it. It's a great example of why a book might not grab an agent's or editor's eye.

There's nothing fresh about the story.

For those who haven't seen the movie (shame on you) here's a quick summary: Ren moves to the small town of Belmont, where a tragic accident in the past forced the leaders to enact a no dancing, no drinking, no partying law. Ren challenges that law to hold a senior prom for his classmates. The plot device is a bit cheesy, but it's a story about growing up, challenging authority, and standing up for what you believe in.

A classic plot.

We all know there's nothing that hasn't been done before, and how important it is to put a fresh spin on a common story. But how do you know what to update and what to keep the same tried and true?

1. Personal Backstories
One nice thing about the new Footloose was that they updated why Ren and his mother were in Belmont. Original: Dad left and they moved. New: Dad was long gone, Mom died, and Ren had to go live with his aunt and uncle. The new backstory changed his reasons for wanting to challenge the no dancing law and have a senior prom.

If you're have a not-so-fresh (NSF) story idea, try looking at the backstory of your protag to see if there's a way to have their past bring a new element to the story. Are they coming at it from a new perspective? Maybe the opposite of what's traditionally been done?

2. Stakes
One thing that fell flat in the new movie for me was the love interest Ariel, and her self-destructive streak. In the original, she was a promiscuous risk taker who straddled the doors of two moving cars while a semi barreled toward them. In the remake, she sat on the window as a race car did a slow victory lap. She had very good reasons for her death wish, but those were abandoned in the remark and because of that, they stakes were lower.

If the stakes don't raise the consequence any higher, the story doesn't ascend to a new and more interesting level. What about your NSF tale might be made bigger or more dangerous that no one's ever tried before? Are there any new ramifications?

3. Setting
There's a great scene in the original movie where the kids are listening to forbidden music and dancing a bit, and the preacher show up and every shuts down in a panic. Same scene in the remake, but the dancing is much more structured somehow, like this is something the kids do all the time, so the forbidden isn't really holding them back from doing what they want. If they dance any time they want at this drive in restaurant, what's the big deal of the law?

If a NSF story is set in the same place, doing the same basic things as all the others like it, it'll likely feel stale. Is there a way to move the story to a new location that adds an entirely new level? And not just geographically, but historically or even genre or gender?

4. A Change in Perspective
Ren in 1984 wasn't much different from Ren in 2011. Neither was Ariel, and in fact, she seemed to go more conservative, not less. The attitudes of the characters didn't feel modern to me, which made the movie feel a bit static and old hat. The one change I did love was the uncle. In the original, he represented the stuffy opinions of the town. In the new, he had a more modern attitude, standing up for Ren instead of being against him.

Challenging assumptions and changing perspectives (in an opinion sense not a POV sense) is a great way to freshen up a NSF story. What's typical in that type of tale? What do readers take for granted? Maybe there's a way to shake things up by coming at the story from a new direction.

Original ideas can do more to get your foot in the publishing door than making sure you don't have any adverbs. The fresher your story, the better the chance it'll have at selling.

Do you have any not-so-fresh ideas you're struggling to liven up? Have you ever been rejected because a story wasn't original enough?

Real Life Diagnostics: Living in a Dream World - And Writing About it

2012-02-25T06:00:00.000-05:00

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and I diagnose them on the blog. It’s part critique, part example, designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, check out the page for guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Nine

This week’s questions:

I'm working on a MG fantasy novel. This selection is from chapter 2, the introduction of one of my main characters. My story is built around a boy who has bizarre dreams. I'm a little worried about it reading right. Does it work the way I have it below? My other question is about voice: Does the writing sound too plain? Do you have any sense of the character telling the story (the narrator)?

On to the diagnosis…

Original text:
I tried not to roll over again. My legs ached from rolling over so many times. I squeezed my eyes shut. In my head, I heard the eerie ditty that Uncle Tunny had been singing. I jammed my pillow over my head, as if to block out the song. I finally drifted off …

… I walked on cold flagstones with bare feet. A fountain spewed water in several criss-crossing arcs. I was in an open room lined with columns.

I turned between them and walked down a narrow hallway. Ahead of me a girl stepped out. I watched her as she ducked into another door.

The room she entered had a window out to the courtyard. I peeked in.

It was a kitchen. The girl was sharpening a knife. She looked up.

I crouched back, breathless.

She came out of the door carrying the knife and a basket.

“Peace to you from the heavens. Are you hungry?” She lifted an eyebrow at me.

“Well …” I started and stood up.

We were the same height. She wore a long simple white dress. I straightened my shoulders. I bet I could outrun a girl in a dress if she really meant to use that knife. But she didn't, I figured from the curiosity on her face.

“Well, come on.” She gestured for me to follow her. “I’m Sharassa.”

She led me down the columns and out into the open. An eastern sun gilded a small orchard and vegetable garden. The garden was so small. This must be one of the smallest communities.

My Thoughts in Purple:
[I tried not to roll over again. My legs ached from rolling over so many times.] Not sure you need both here. Perhaps just start with the second line? I squeezed my eyes shut. In my head, I heard the eerie ditty that Uncle Tunny had been singing. I jammed my pillow over my head, as if to block out the song. I finally drifted off … There are a lot of "I did this, I did that" here, which reads a little clunky and doesn't give a sense of the narrator yet. A little internalization will help with this.

… I walked on cold flagstones with bare feet. A fountain spewed water in several criss-crossing arcs. I was in an open room lined with columns. And how does he feel about this? Since this is the first moment in the dream, you have an opportunity to set the scene and frame this in the way you'd like readers to see it.

I turned between them and walked down a narrow hallway. Ahead of me a girl stepped out. This is a good spot for some internalization. What are his thoughts about this girl? I watched her as she ducked into another door.

[The room she entered had a window out to the courtyard. I peeked in.

It was a kitchen. The girl was sharpening a knife. She looked up.

I crouched back, breathless.

She came out of the door carrying the knife and a basket.] The separate lines here give this a list-like feel, which actually slow the pacing for me vs. picking it up (like you'd expect from this type of formatting). I think it's because it's mostly just description of things and there's no personal connection yet to make me care about the narrator. He's just my window into the world, not someone I need to fear for. This is a possible area to flesh out some of the world or dream details.

“Peace to you from the heavens. Are you hungry?” She lifted an eyebrow at me.

“Well …” I started and stood up. This is a good spot for some internalization that shows how he feels about this.

We were the same height. She wore a long simple white dress. I straightened my shoulders. [I bet I could outrun a girl in a dress if she really meant to use that knife.] Love this line. It's the first time I've felt a connection to this character. More like this throughout and I'd be hooked But she didn't, I figured from the curiosity on her face.

“Well, come on.” She gestured for me to follow her. “I’m Sharassa.”

She led me down the columns and out into the open. An eastern sun gilded a small orchard and vegetable garden. The garden was so small. This could be a good spot for some internalization. This must be one of the smallest communities. Or here.

The questions:
Does it work the way I have it?
Without seeing the first chapter (which could have set this up) it's a bit hard to say, but nothing in this so far is grabbing me yet. The narrator has bizarre dreams, but this doesn't feel bizarre to me. It also doesn't feel dreamlike. I'd suggest looking at what the goal of the scene is, both from a character perspective and a structure perspective. What does the author want this scene to accomplish? Since it's the second chapter, I'm guessing this is the first dream, so it'll likely setup that this is happening and what it means (or suggest what the problem with it is). If the dreams are bizarre, perhaps push the bizarre factor higher so the dream itself is intriguing and weird to pique a reader's curiosity. The narrator probably isn't going to have a goal per se, but a stronger sense of narrative drive might help draw readers in. What's about to happen here?

Does the writing sound too plain?
I don't think it's too plain, but it does feel a little spare to me. Details are general and vague, with no grounding from the narrator about of what they mean. I'd suggest tweaking a bit so these details reflect the world and the protag better. What does an open room lined with columns signify to this boy? Is it beautiful? Scary? Does he feel like it's a temple? A palace? A typical villa in his world? If he's entering this dream he'll likely be trying to make sense out of what he sees, so he'd compare it to what he knows (and thus show the reader what's normal to him). That'll help make the world come alive, and even if the writing is clean and basic (which is often is in MG), the details used will paint a stronger picture.

Do you have any sense of the character telling the story (the narrator)?
Just in that one line, but I did love the attitude shown there. You have a great start here knowing what happens and what things look like, so now, try going back in and adding the personal comments and judgments from the protag. Let us see what he thinks about this and what it means to him. Why does he peek in the window or follow the girl? Why is he trying not to sleep? What about the ditty bothers him so? We've got the what, let's flesh out the who and the why.

I think a little will go a long way here, and a few lines of internalization will put readers in the head of this boy and allow them to feel the strangeness of his dream and what he's experiencing. If he thinks this is all normal because of the dream state, perhaps let the situation be bizarre to show the contrast. If the situation is normal, try letting him feel something is off to show the strangeness. Maybe normal seeming details feel wrong, or aren't in the right places or whatnot.

Thanks to our brave volunteer for submitting this for me to play with. I hope they – and others – find it helpful. I don’t do a full critique on these, (just as it pertains to the questions) and I encourage you to comment and make suggestions of your own. Just remember that these pieces are works in progress, not polished drafts, so be nice and offer constructive feedback.

You Can Fight Mama Nature: What to do When Your Antagonist is Nature Herself

2012-02-24T07:24:00.000-05:00

The last few weeks we've been discussion the four basic types of conflict. (man vs. man, man vs. self, man vs. society) Today, let's wrap it up with man vs. nature.

The easiest example of this is a traditional disaster movie like Volcano. Unbeknownst to the sleepy little town of Los Angeles, an active volcano is about to rise in the La Brea Tar Pits. The hero, Mike Roark (played by the always awesome Tommy Lee Jones) is the city's director of city management and it's his job to handle all city-related crises. What starts off as a basic small earthquake turns into a major event that puts the entire city at risk. To save lives, Mike and his thrown-together-by-chance geologist partner, Dr. Amy Barnes, (the also delightful Anne Heche) have to deal with the volcano and the repercussions of its sudden emergence.

What makes this such a great example is that it covers all the elements of a man vs. nature movie.

The man vs. the nature part
Mike vs. the Volcano. The hero faces off against a problem that isn't a person doing something. (Though in these types of stories, someone often is responsible for triggering the natural disaster inadvertently, like in The Core, or even putting themselves at risk as in The Perfect Storm). Nature is the problem and it doesn't care one whit about what it's going to destroy. It can be a big disaster like a volcano or hurricane, or something smaller and less aggressive, like a boy trying to reach the top of Mount Everest (as in Roland Smith's Peak). The hero is facing off against Mother Nature in some way.

The personal stories part
If the "bad guy" is large scale, you'll usually get to see several of the lives that will be affected by it. So many disaster stories start with the everyday lives of the characters involved, making you care about them so when things start going horribly wrong, you really feel for them. Even if the story is more personal, a one-on-one tale, you often "meet" other people through memories or flashbacks, because these are the people the hero is trying to save or get back to.

In Volcano, you meet the lead guy of the city works crew who later sacrifices himself to save a subway driver. The ER doc who's married to the rich developer who indirectly plays a key role in the climax. The geologist's scientist partner who's funny and fun and whose story doesn't end well. There's Mike's second in command, who jokes about stealing his job the whole time--until it gets serious and Mike's life is in danger. And for that extra special touch, Mike's teenage daughter just happens to be visiting this week, so he has the added stress of protecting his child.

What makes these stories work so well here is that they intertwine beautifully. Even if at first you don't know why you're following this particular character. Their roles all fit together by the end to help form the solution to dealing with the volcano.

For me, this is one of the most appealing parts of this type of conflict. You meet and grow to love a series of characters, knowing not all of them are going to survive. (They never do). It really keeps the tension high.

The ever escalating stakes part
Just like a storm, men vs. nature conflicts tend to start out soft and build. It's probably the most obvious example of the traditional goal-problem-disaster structure there is. The hero acts to stop the disaster, it fails, things get worse and he has to try something else. This keeps happening until his back is to the wall, lives are at stake, and he has to do something crazy to win. And then you hit them with a major "oh no" moment.

In Volcano, Mike has a background in handling floods, so he tries flood control measures to dam the flow of lava. It fails. But then Amy realizes the lava is flowing right into neighborhoods and families. So they try collapsing the street to send the lava into the storm canals. It fails. And then they realize the lava is headed right for the over-packed hospital they've been sending victims too all day (and where that nice ER doc happens to work). So Mike tries something wild and saves the day. (I won't give it all away, but let's just say it uses his flood control skills again) But just as he's about to do it, he sees his daughter caught up in the middle of it.

In man vs. nature, things keep getting worse, wearing the hero down and sapping all their physical and emotional strength. In order for them to win, you first need to rob them of as much as possible. (Without getting melodramatic of course)

The "it's always something" part
Even though there's this horrible event happening, other issues are still going on that illustrate that this isn't just about the hero and the nature. You often get to see examples of how this is also affecting everyone else; usually using those characters you meet in the first and even second acts. Yes, a volcano is raining lava and ash all over LA, but it's also setting fire to people's homes, sending lava down subway tubes, and putting other folks in danger at the same time. In a quieter story, it might be getting colder, or the hero is losing blood or succumbing to an injury.

And the key element...

The survival part
Surviving the event is always at the center of a man vs. nature story. Survival can be literal, as in a disaster movie, or it can be thematic as in The Old Man and the Sea. The Old Man can simply cut the marlin free and head home, but bringing that fish home and not giving in is the whole point. It's all about the hero digging deep and finding that part they didn't know they had to overcome what's in front of them.

This is what makes these types of conflicts so compelling. It's not about being smarter than the bad guy, or out maneuvering the villain; it's about finding the strength within yourself to overcome the threat/event/situation you find yourself in. It's personal perseverance. It's the ultimate underdog story in a way. The "nature" is going to run its course, but how you handle this is what really matters.

Do you have any man vs. nature stories or conflicts in the works? What are some of your favorites?

On the Road and Chatting About Voice

2012-02-23T06:24:00.000-05:00

I'm over at Suzanne van Rooyen's blog today, talking about voice, how I found mine, and why it works for YA.

Here's a sneak peek:

Before I started my debut novel, I’d always written third person narrators with multiple POVs. First person was this scary perspective I knew was hard to get right, so I stayed away from it. That is, until I sat down to write THE SHIFTER.

And it came out in first person.

A huge shock, let me tell you. There was no conscious thought to do this; my protagonist, Nya, just spoke to me in that voice. It was her story, and she wanted to tell it in her words, not mine. I was smart enough to let her do it, even though trying first person was a little intimidating.

I’m so glad now that I did.

Come over over and say hello!

And...End Scene: When to Add a Scene Break

2012-02-22T06:00:00.003-05:00

Elmore Leonard is frequently quoted as saying: "I try to leave out the parts people skip." Nowhere is this more useful than in knowing when to break a scene. Transitions have a funny way of being the parts people skip.

But there's a skill to knowing when to break a scene. You don't want to just stop and jump ahead in time or location, because that can feel jarring. Too many scene breaks can feel like pieces of a story strung together and lose the narrative flow. Breaking every time you get to a good hook line just feels choppy and...weird. Like chapter breaks, you want a scene break to make the reader think "ooo" and keep on reading.

What makes a good scene break?

You'd think cliffhangers, but no, they can get boring after a while. A good scene break is one that leaves the reader with a sense of forward momentum. The story isn't stopping, it's nudging them on with a renewed sense of curiosity. Some common ways to do this:

The "dum-dum-DUMMM!" moment
Something has just been revealed or discovered that is a shock. Not only is it a shock, but it's probably also going to require immediate action on the protagonist's part. Hence, moving the story forward to the next scene without having to say "three hours later" or something similar.

The "we have to do this" moment
Stating a goal is a great way to show things about to happen, and then allow you to jump right to that point. Readers know what has to be done and where the characters are going. (even if it's just a vague idea). Showing the trip isn't necessary.

The "I hate waiting" moment
Delays are boring, but they happen. And when a character can't act even though they really want to, breaking at the height of their discomfort is a great way to transition into them finally getting to do something. It's also fun when paired with a ticking clock, so readers know things are getting worse while the protag is forced to wait.

The "sleepy time" moment
Although you want to be wary with ending a scene with a character going to sleep, sometimes it is the right way to break a scene. The trick here is to do it in a way that also keeps the tension high so the reader doesn't also feel the need to hit the hay. Let the character not want to rest or sleep. Going to sleep sucks at that moment, because something big and bad is looming. Yes, she's going to sleep, but anything can happen at any moment regardless.

The "all is lost and I really need a moment" moment
Total emotional breakdown deserves a break, so when your characters have just undergone something emotionally catastrophic, why not break and skip ahead to when they've composed themselves and are ready to deal with it? This can work especially well when watching them fall to pieces isn't very fun (there's nothing happening, no goal, no stakes, they're just losing it), but seeing them deal with the aftermath and struggling through this crisis is delicious.

One thing to remember with scene breaks, is that just because you have one of these moments does not mean you have to break the scene. Transitions are useful at times (and let's discuss that next week), so use them if you want to. Scene breaks are great ways to control the pacing of your novel and keep the focus on what matters, not the stuff that happens when no one is looking.

How do you feel about scene breaks? Do you break often or show the transition? Do you mix them up?

Guest Author Suzanne van Rooyen: Shifting the Story

2012-02-21T06:00:00.002-05:00

Today I'd like to welcome Suzanne van Rooyen to the blog. She's here to talk with us about something I've seen asked many a time: How do you turn a short story into a novel? Sometimes you just don't know where a story is going to end up until you write it, and that path can lead in some interesting directions.

Suzanne is a freelance writer, author and occasional musician. Despite having a Master's in Music, Mind and Technology, she prefers writing twisted tales of the SF persuasion and playing in the snow. She's the author of the cyberpunk novel Dragon's Teeth released in November 2011 by Divertir Publishing, and has a handful of short stories and non-fiction articles published across the globe. You can find her on Facebook and Twitter.

Take it away Suzanne...

My novel Dragon's Teeth started as all stories start, with a grandiose idea that needed shaping and whittling down, to be distilled into chapters and syntax. Only my original idea wasn't going to have chapters, it was going to be a short story of no more than 5000 words.

There's a huge difference between crafting a short story that has to pack a punch in only a handful of words and being able to develop characters and plots over the span of a novel approaching 100k words. Despite some opinions that consider flash fiction disposable, 'practice' writing and short stories nothing more than a rite of passage on the way to novel writing, short fiction is often times more difficult to pull off than a novel and I have immense respect for those writers who write flash, short and long fiction. Turning one form into another is an arcane art unto itself not to be attempted by the faint of heart.

So back to my idea – soldiers in a dystopian theocracy, rebels rising coup d'état style, eugenics and world denomination – I had the basic premise and so being a true pantser, I started writing without really have any idea of where the story would lead. I wrote about ten pages, finishing what I thought was a decent start to a short story. Problems arose when I tried to finish it. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't condense the tale in my head into a measly 5000 words. I loved the world I'd created too much, the characters needed space to grow and develop, the plot needed breathing room. So I did the only thing I could, I continued writing. What I had planned as a short story became a novella with its own plot arc, character development, beginning, middle and end essential to stories of all shapes and sizes. But it wasn't enough and left me dangling about 30k words short of respectable SF novel length.

Plumping up a novel short on words is one thing, but trying to rework a short story into a novel by taking the original plot and just inserting new scenes to hopefully double or treble the word count isn't advisable. Unless you can wrangle some ingenious sub-plots into the meat of the story, you're more likely to create tangles than a sleek plot arc. I didn't want to do that, so instead I wrote around the novella. Using the short story as back story for my main character, I wrote another story, set 30-odd years later – another novella length story complete unto itself. Thus my three part novel was born, Part II being that original engorged short story.

The danger here was that the book would read like two novellas crammed into a novel, but it doesn't and the reason is some careful architectural engineering. Any story, like any building, needs solid foundations and reinforced walls before you can put the roof on it. My first novella provided the foundations for the walls and roofing that were provided by that second part of the story. Take one from the other, and the story like the building would fall apart, or be reduced to a layer of concrete in the ground. Incomplete and ugly. My two novellas were inextricably entwined, forming one true novel length story.

To further differentiate the parts of the story, I wrote the earlier period in third person, and the later story, which has a hard-boiled edge to it, I wrote in first person. Now what seemed like a mighty fine distinction between eras and attitudes of the characters, my editor promptly told me simply didn't work and only emphasized the division between parts. Grudgingly, I ceased channeling Raymond Chandler, and resorted to a rewrite – converting first to third person. This is no mean task. I'm not sure which is worse, 1st or 3rd or the reverse, but both have their challenges. The most difficult of all for me, was preserving the MC's snarky voice in third person. After several agonizing weeks, I resubmitted much to my editor's delight. The shift in POV had had a dramatic change on the overall structure of the story, making the transition smoother between sections, seamless, as if I'd always intended to write Part 1, 2 and 3 just like that.

I learned two very important lessons while writing and rewriting this book. One – outlining is not the evil creativity killer I imagined it to be and can actually prove rather useful, and Two – sometimes editors do know best, and rewriting from a different POV can a better book make.

About Dragon's Teeth:

You can never outrun your past…

After years of war ravage the globe and decimate humanity, civilization is revitalized in the city of New Arcadia, a cybernetic playground where longevity treatments promise near immortality.

Detective Cyrus, fond of fedoras and narcotics, is hired by Benji MacDowell, heir-apparent to an eugenics empire, to find MacDowell’s long-lost biological father. Employing his network of shady contacts within the underbelly of the city, Cyrus uncovers a murderous web of corporate corruption and political conspiracy with ties to the old Order, a tyrannical organization whose sole intent was perfecting the next generation of genetically engineered soldiers.

Now Cyrus knows too much and finds himself caught in the cross-hairs of super-soldier assassins while the dark secrets of his past snap at his heels, forcing him to confront the truth he’s been running from… and discover his own terrifying purpose.

How Important is Genre in Today's World of E-Books?

2012-02-20T06:00:00.007-05:00

Last week I was talking about genre, and commenter Wendy said something that really made me think:

I often hear writers say that genre isn't so important in these days of e-books and self-publishing -- selling novels in the 21st century is supposedly all about author platform now, not bookshop shelves. Just wondering...

It's a great observation, because more and more people are buying books online and not going into the stores (sad as that in). Shelf space isn't what it used to be.

But will it affect genre and how readers buy books?

My first reaction to this questions was: having a larger choice of books might actually create more genres and subgenres, because it'll be that much harder for readers to find what they're looking for. And without the constrain of shelf space, niche markets can flourish and books can be grouped together in tighter categories.

However...

I don't read e-books, so my views here are a little one sided. So I did an experiment to get a feel for the e-book buying experience. I went to the three major online retailers (Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Powell's) and clicked on their e-book links. I was curious how the booksellers would lead you through buying an e-book.

Amazon takes you right to a fiction page and the top-selling e-books (and interestingly enough, the top three books were all YA - The Hunger Games trilogy). On the left, there's a link menu to further select your category. It has a very "look, here are the best-selling e-books. Want one?" feel. The thing that struck me the most here, is that everything was grouped together and if you weren't after a best-seller, it would take you forever to find what you were looking for unless you did click on a genre link. It also seemed to ensure the best sellers kept selling. A mid-list book won't show up on that huge list for a long time. Customers can sort this list by popularity, price, publication date, or customer review. I did notice that the "popularity" sort also had the free e-books at the top, since folks with brand new e-readers tend to grab a lot of free books to try it out. So customers have to wade through the free stuff that may or may not be any good.

Barnes & Noble does something similar, but their genre breakdowns are more obvious and on the main page instead of just on a side menu (though they also offer that). Below that they have the deals, then the best sellers. It's set up more like a bookstore feel, with "shelves" for what the reader is looking for. Click on a "shelf" and you get another page of menus with breakdowns and whatnot. What struck me here is that you get about fifteen books highlighted in each of the sections, so again, only the top sellers are going to stand out. But at least here you can separate them by what you like to read. They do have links to "see all," but nowhere did I find a link to see all the books in one genre (or anyway to organize them). They had bestsellers, hot picks, cool picks, new releases, upcoming release, books under $5, but no "all" link. Again, if it's not a best seller or being talked about in the news or picked by the staff, I'm not sure you'd see it unless you typed in the title.

Powell's had a different approach, not throwing a ton of covers at you on the main e-book page. The first thing you see upon landing on the page is a text link to learn more about their e-books. Below that are the cheap e-books. Then the new releases with covers and blurbs, then a list of categories to look for more (the also had a side menu, though it was lower on the site). When you clicked on a category, you got a side menu with even more breakdowns. The individual categories had the same basic format as the other stores, focusing on the new releases and best sellers. What struck me here was that it felt harder to find e-books unless I knew what I was after. (Though in all honesty, I'm not sure how much Powell's is pushing their e-books since they don't have e-readers like the other two. That makes a big difference in how they'd sell them)

The most telling thing I discover overall, was that these e-book breakdowns are identical to how these retailers sell print books, so the model is the same either way. I don't think it's a matter of genre between e-books vs. print books, but how folks buy books online. And to me, the more items you have available for purchase, the more you'll need a way to categorize those items. Any online site follows this model, so why not books?

So, after this experiment, I do think that genre will still play a role in online books sales, and likely grow stronger, not weaker, as more and more books are purchased online. The place where I think things will change the most are in word counts, because a shorter or longer book won't matter so much in electronic format. (but that's probably another post)

What do you think? Will genre become more or less important as e-book and online book sales grow?

Real Life Diagnostics: A Voice From Afar: Voice in Third Person

2012-02-18T08:30:00.000-05:00

This is the beginning of my WIP, which is written in 3rd Person. I find it difficult to establish voice in 3rd Person, but it feels like the best POV for this story. Does this create a voice that is distinct enough to keep a reader engaged? Is there enough of a hook to keep you reading? I've also read that too much description about clothing is the mark of a novice writer, but shortly after this scene, the reader learns that Sameen and her uncle are ostracized by the prejudicial villagers because they look and dress differently. Is this brief description of the stranger's similar manner of dress too much, or will it help establish a natural connection between the two characters?

On to the diagnosis…

Original text:
Unlike the rest of the villagers, the Magicians didn’t ignore her. She would have taken a different route had there been one, but the only road out of the city took her past their stalls. They leered at her as she passed. “Buy a trick?” they caroled, and laughed when she shook her head, not meeting their eyes. One of them leaned close enough to whisper, “Here’s one for free, then,” and Sameen jumped as the road near her feet exploded in a cloud of colorful smoke. She pressed the leather purse tighter against her waist to try and muffle the clinking of the coins as she ducked under their arms and hurried on.

Someone called to her out of the crowd, but she kept her eyes on the road and continued walking until a hand took her by the arm. Startled, she spun around to face an older man she did not recognize—at least not completely. There was something familiar about his face, yet it felt like a memory that belonged to someone else. She wondered how he knew her.

“Excuse me,” he said. “I did not mean to frighten you.”

It took Sameen a moment to understand his words through his accent, but it was not as strange to her as she first supposed. He talks like Kenlin, she thought, recognizing the same stressing of unusual syllables that had long made neighbors suspicious of her uncle. The man even dressed in the same peculiar style—a white, embroidered tunic and a long overcoat over loose-fitting trousers and a pair of tall leather boots—and his hair was as dark as her own.

My Thoughts in Purple:
[Unlike the rest of the villagers, the Magicians didn’t ignore her.] Intriguing. What about her draws their attention I wonder. This makes me curious. She would have taken a different route had there been one, but the only road out of the city took her past their stalls. Too add a touch more voice, you might consider some internalization from her here about what this means for her They leered at her as she passed. “Buy a trick?” they [caroled] Small thing, but do you mean cajoled, as in coax, or caroled as in sing? If it's sing, you might consider a different word as carols have a religious connection in popular culture that feels out of place in a fantasy world, and laughed when she shook her head, not meeting their eyes. [One of them leaned close enough to whisper, “Here’s one for free, then,” and Sameen jumped as the road near her feet exploded in a cloud of colorful smoke. She pressed the leather purse tighter against her waist to try and muffle the clinking of the coins as she ducked under their arms and hurried on.] I love this, but it feels a tad told. Perhaps try showing this through her eyes? Something like:

One of them leaned close. “Here’s one for free, then.”

The road near her feet exploded in a cloud of colorful smoke. Sameen jumped. [good spot for some emotional internalization] She ducked under their arms and hurried on, pressing the leather purse tighter against her waist and muffling the clinking of the coins.

Someone called to her out of the crowd, Good spot for internalization to show how she reacts to this call but she kept her eyes on the road and continued walking [until a hand took her by the arm] telling a bit here with the "until". Startled, she spun around to face an older man she did not recognize—[at least not completely. There was something familiar about his face, yet it felt like a memory that belonged to someone else. She wondered how he knew her.] This is the first time so far I've felt Sameen as a person, which is where the voice comes in. But I'm still not getting a strong sense of who she is yet because I'm not in her head.

[“Excuse me,” he said. “I did not mean to frighten you.”] Aside from "startled" I don't feel that she's scared, but I imagine she must be overall. Showing more of her fear and what's going through her mind would help readers connect to her better and get her voice across.

It took Sameen a moment to understand his words through his accent, but it was not as strange to her as she first supposed. He talks like Kenlin, she thought, recognizing the same stressing of unusual syllables that had long made neighbors suspicious of her uncle. The man even dressed in the same peculiar style—a white, embroidered tunic and a long overcoat over loose-fitting trousers and a pair of tall leather boots—and his hair was as dark as her own.

The questions:
Does this create a voice that is distinct enough to keep a reader engaged?
It sounds like a fantasy novel, which has both good and bad points. Good, because it does fit the genre you're writing in, bad because I'm not yet getting a sense of who Sameen is. There's little here so far that's her seeing and experiencing this world and feeling one way or another about it. I'd suggest adding some internalization so we see her personality and how she views her world. That will allow you to show her voice (and yours) in how she thinks. Tastes vary here, but for me, voice comes through best when you can feel the person behind the words. You know there's a soul in that character.

Is there enough of a hook to keep you reading?
I find the trickster sales Magicians very interesting, and that detail alone makes me want to see more of this world. I'd read on.

Is this brief description of the stranger's similar manner of dress too much, or will it help establish a natural connection between the two characters?
I think the description fits naturally with the situation and flows fine in the text. There's just enough to show why she recognizes him and what makes him different, but not so much it bogs the story down.

Overall, this is a good start, and I'd suggest fleshing it out just a tad to get Sameen's personality in there. You mentioned you have trouble with third person, and I suspect this might be because you're staying too far above the narrator and not seeing the world through her eyes. (this is just a guess) You clearly have a solid grasp of what's happening here, but it feels like I'm watching it from the outside. (easy to do in third person when you feel that you are describing the scene as is unfolds).

Internalization can help with that. You've got a nice sense of place and descriptions, the action is working, so try adding in her thoughts and opinions on what she sees for that emotional layer to tie it all together. Show Sameen's reactions, not just in what she does but what she thinks. Maybe even rephrase a descriptive detail or two to how she'd see it.

For example, one line says "not meeting their eyes." Sameen might describe those eyes in a certain way that would tell us about her and the Magicians. "not meeting their greedy little eyes" or "not meeting their souless eyes" or even "not meeting their desperate eyes." You don't want to overload the text with descriptions, but a word or two here and there can make the descriptions Sameen's and not "the author's."

Thanks to our brave volunteer for submitting this for me to play with. I hope they – and others – find it helpful. I don’t do a full critique on these, (just as it pertains to the questions) and I encourage you to comment and make suggestions of your own. Just remember that these pieces are works in progress, not polished drafts, so be nice and offer constructive feedback.

There is No Bad Guy: What to do When Your Antagonist Isn't a Villain

2012-02-17T06:00:00.008-05:00

All stories need an antagonist, but not all stories have a villain. At least not in the literal sense of the word. I've talked recently about the man vs. self type bad guys, so today, let's talk about man vs. society. (and we'll wrap up the four basic conflict types next Friday with man vs. nature)

A great example of man vs. society is the recent movie In Time. It's a world where people have been genetically altered to stop aging at 25, with a one year advance on their lives after that. To continue living, then need to get more time. They work and get paid in actual time (as in it gets added to their lives). The rich live for centuries, the poor struggle with just days (or less) left. The hero is a poor guy named Will who is living hour to hour so to speak.

Will's beef is with the society he lives in. He just wants to live, he isn't trying to bring down a specific person or anything. It's the system he hates. The culture and ideals of the world he lives in. And the system doesn't care one whit about him. It's the antagonist, but it's pretty much everyone's antagonist. He decides to fight the system, and thus fight the society he lives in, and the rules of that society are the obstacles he has to overcome.

Just like man vs. self, society will have representatives to fight directly against. In Will's case, it's a timekeeper (a cop) who's just doing his job and trying to keep the system running. Even he has no personal stake in Will's problem, but he represents what's wrong and is the person getting in Will's way and helping to drive the plot and provide stakes.

Eventually things get personal, and Will does find a bigger symbol to focus on. A man with enough time to live forever, and one who controls the time banks and the system itself. Bring him down, change the system.

This is a common element to a man vs. society conflict--changing the status quo. Whether or not it happens doesn't matter, it's the fight to do so that provides the goals and narrative drive. (Shirley Jackson's The Lottery is a good example of a man vs. society story that doesn't end on a happy note)

And like any good plot, there will be things to overcome.

To start, there's always a trigger for the protag to want to change society. No one wakes up and says, "I think I'll risk everything and try to change the world today." Something happens that makes the status quo unacceptable. (Your inciting event.) This will most likely be deeply personal and a strong enough trigger to make that person want to change things. They might not start out wanting to change the world, it might just be a way to survive.

Then come your plot obstacles. Typically, these problems will be examples of the system and why it's bad. How it hurts the protagonist, the detrimental effect it has on the people he cares about. Society trying to reassert control. You'll most likely have characters to fill the roles of society here, people the protag can spar against and fight.

Before long the protag will probably find the one person/thing that is the biggest symbol of the society she's trying to overcome (and the personal issues she's trying to resolve), or be the thing that will actually bring about change if destroyed or altered. There's a good chance this will happen in the third act, and drive the story to its climax.

By the end, the protag has either instigated a change (for good or bad), or has lost to the system. How far to either side that is depends on your story. You might blow society out of the water or you might have done just enough to start society on a path toward change, even if you failed. (Repent Harlequin! Said the Ticktock Man is a good example of this type). Or you might die in utter failure, stoned to death by your neighbors.

Personally, I feel man vs. society conflicts are probably the easiest conflicts after man vs. man, because there are so many ways in which the society can cause the protag trouble. There are tangible obstacles to overcome, established stakes, and a ton of thematic elements to work with. They're also a nice mix of the grand idea and the personal problem.

How do you feel about man vs. society conflicts? What are some of your favorites? Have you ever written one? Have one in the works?

And the Winner is...

2012-02-16T07:17:00.000-05:00

I'd like to thank everyone for their wonderful and touching comments to last week's "hero" post. They truly meant a lot to me.

So without further ado, let's get to the winners of the critiques, shall we?

The winner of a 1000-word critique from Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi is:

Sareh!

The winner of a 1000-word critique from me is:

Michelle!

Congratulations to both, and you can e-mail me for more details about how to send in you pages. janice (at) janicehardy (dot) com. (and remember those are the @ and . in there)

I wish I could have given away critiques to everyone, but there will be other contests and opportunities I'm sure. Actually, I have the urge to do something wacky, like a monthly drawing for a crit to a random commenter. A surprise crit, maybe I choose a day a month at random and pick someone from that day's post. I'd probably have to say that post was the random crit post so folks could let me know if they wanted one. This could be fun! What do you guys think? Worth trying to see how it goes?

The Power of Explanation Compels You: Avoiding the Dreaded Infodump

2012-02-15T06:00:00.004-05:00

Infodumps are no fun for reader or writer. As a writer, you worry whether or not you're telling or showing, if the information fits where you put it, and how to get critical information to the reader without dumping it over their heads. As a reader, you skim the boring parts where nothing happens, and if there are too many of those, you stop reading that book.

But infodumps have their place just like everything else. They can be extremely helpful in a first draft when you're still figuring out your story and how things work. Embracing the infodump in an early draft can help you avoid it in the final draft.

What is an Infodump?
Infodumps are chunks of information "dumped" into the story to explain something. They're kind of like author footnotes (but in the text) because they stop the story and offer information the author usually feels the reader needs to know, but it doesn't fit, doesn't sound like the character, or feels like information jammed in where it doesn't belong. If you've ever been reading along and suddenly thought "why are you telling me this now?" it's probably an infodump.

Brainstorming on Paper
If you're not the type of writer who has everything planned out exactly before you start writing, odds are things are going to develop as you write. If you're a pantser, it's all going to happen that way. You'll probably find several instances where you need to explain how something happened/worked/occurred/is relevant. You'll have two options:

Explain it and move on
Stop writing to figure it all out

Either works, but you don't always want to lose momentum when you're writing, especially if you're in the groove. In these cases, letting the infodump happen and getting it down on paper is more valuable than stopping. Make a note and come back later to fix it.

Dumping the Dumps
If you already have infodumps in your text, getting rid of them can be trickier. Unlike adverbs, there's no easy thing to search for. But infodumps do have some favorite places they like to hang.

1. Introduction of characters
It's not uncommon for a character to be introduced, and then hear a paragraph or two all about that character. Information that provides context for the scene is fine, but if it starts going into history or behaviors that aren't relevant, you might have yourself an infodump. (and a backstory infodump at that--doubly bad)

2. Beginnings of scenes
You'll also find them acting like tour guides, explaining more about what the reader is about to read than needed. Summing up what happened between this scene and the previous one is also a common infodump. Unless what happened off screen is critical to know, skip it.

3. Walking into a new place
You'll often hear a lot of information about a new place the first time a character goes somewhere. Sometimes is just description (different from an infodump), but sometimes it's conveying information the protagonist either doesn't know, doesn't care about, or would never think about at this moment in time.

4. History lessons
This is probably the most common infodump. Be it history about a person, a place, an item in the story, whatever it is, the author stops to tell the reader all about it and why it's important.

Fixing the Infodumps
The easiest way to fix it is to cut it, but that's not always feasible. But it's a good first step, so try cutting it and reading the page or scene. If it reads fine without the infodump, leave it out. Be ruthless. Unless it's very obvious that missing information makes the scene confusing or impossible to understand, don't put it back in. Authors often think readers need more than they really do to get what's going on.

If cutting the infodump makes what's happening unclear, then look for the critical details that have to be there. What specifically matters to understand that scene?

Now add that back in, but in a way that the POV character would notice/think/say/feel/convey. Infodumps work when they're kept in the voice of the POV character and sound like something they'd actually say or think. They should flow naturally with the rest of the scene and feel like they belong there, triggered by something someone said or did.

You can usually find a way to show the information you're trying to dump. It might be something someone says, or an example of that information in action.

How do you feel about infodumps? How often do they sneak into your work? How have you managed to avoid them?

Guest Author Gretchen McNeil: Are Your Characters Motivated?

2012-02-14T06:00:00.001-05:00

Today we have YA author Gretchen McNeil here to help us--and our character--get motivated.

Gretchen is an opera singer, writer and clown. Her YA horror/paranormal POSSESS debuted with Balzer + Bray for HarperCollins in 2011. Her second novel, TEN – YA horror/suspense about ten teens trapped on a remote island with a serial killer – will be released September 18, 2012. Gretchen is a former coloratura soprano, the voice of Mary on G4's Code Monkeys and she currently sings with the LA-based circus troupe www.cirqueberzerk.com. Gretchen is also a founding member of the vlog group YARebels where she can be seen as "Monday."

Take it away Gretchen...

Writing is a craft (though it hurts me to use that word – it's just so pretentious!). Just like any other artistic expression, there's a learning curve involved in writing, not only learning out TO write, but learning how YOU write.

That's the key, I think – learning how you write. Because there isn't necessarily a right or a wrong way to "write", since every reader will have their own subjective point of view on what they like and don't like in a novel. But for my process – the writing process specific to me as a writer – there's definitely a right and a wrong, a good and a bad, a pass and a fail.

I started out life as a performing artist – an opera singer, to be exact. There's a right and a wrong involved there as well, just as subjective to the audience as writing can be. You also have to learn how YOU sing, versus how someone else sings, and how YOU tell your story on stage.

So perhaps with all this subjectivity floating around, all this emphasis on taking the reins of your own process, it's no wonder I took to writing. It was a parallel move.

Enough of the setup. What I really wanted to talk about is the crux of my writing process, of my craft so to speak, the emphasis of my ability as a storyteller. This is my main focus when I write, the thing that influences plot, that deviates from my outlines, that makes me crazy and ultimately, creates a better novel…and it comes directly from my background as a singing actress:

Character motivation.

That sounds so simple, right? Character wants something. Character has an obstacle in her way. Character must find way to overcome obstacle into order to get what she wants. Simple! Basic! When you're onstage, you're thinking about these basic points all the time. There's the overarching want – the main goal of your character for the opera – and the varying wants, needs, and obstacles that spring up throughout, and must be overcome in order to achieve the main goal.

(If I just confused the hell out of you, I suggest you read Sanford Meisner On Acting – it's amazing.)

Onstage, everything you do must be motivated by these goals. When you cross from one side of the stage to the other, even if you have to do so because the director said, "Cross downstage right on the fourth bar after the cadenza," you have to create a motivation for that move. Why? Because you're going to lose your audience if you don't. If they sense for a moment that you're just going through the motions, that you're not completely engaged in the storytelling process, you'll lose them.

For me, it's the same thing with writing. I don't want my characters doing things that aren't properly motivated – by their goals, by their obstacles, by their character traits. If a character goes to a house party the same day she finds out her mom has cancer, that's got to properly motivated. Maybe she's in denial. Maybe she cursed her mom out a few weeks ago and is now feeling guilty and is looking for a way to drown away that guilt. Maybe the father of the guy throwing the party is the country's most famous oncologist specializing in the kind of cancer her mom's been diagnosed with. Etc., etc.

There are so many choices, which lead in so many directions. The key is that I actually MAKE a choice! My character just doesn't go to the party because I need to have a party scene, or because I need to have her meet the cute boy love interest. She needs a damn good reason for showing up at that party, and I make sure I give her one.

Someone asked me recently, why I had Bridget, the main character in POSSESS, say something in a scene early on in the book. I explained exactly why Bridget made the comment, which was important to set up later action on her part. The person who asked was surprised I had a logical explanation, assuming that I'd just made an arbitrary choice. Au contraire, mon frère!

In my books, no one crosses downstage right without a reason. Ever.

About Possess

Fifteen-year-old Bridget Liu just wants to be left alone: by her over-protective mom, by Matt Quinn, the cute son of a local police sergeant, and by the eerie voices she can suddenly and inexplicably hear. Unfortunately for Bridget, the voices are demons—and Bridget possesses the rare ability to banish them back to whatever hell they came from. Literally.

Terrified to tell her friends or family about this new power, Bridget confides in San Francisco’s senior exorcist, Monsignor Renault. The monsignor enlists her help in increasingly dangerous cases of demonic possession, but just as she is starting to come to terms with her freakish new role, Bridget receives a startling message from one of the demons. And when one of her oldest friends is killed, Bridget realizes she’s in deeper than she ever thought possible. Now she must unlock the secret to the demons’ plan before someone else close to her winds up dead—or worse, the human vessel for a demon king.

Know Before You Go: Should You Know Your Genre First?

2012-02-13T06:00:00.000-05:00

Maybe it's because I write genre that I find the idea not knowing what genre you're writing in a bit bewildering. But the number of "what genre is this?" questions I see on writing forums clearly show this is a not-uncommon problem for a lot of writers. And with more and more genre mash-ups and crossovers happening, it's not getting any easier. Knowing where your book fits is important, because there are elements to any genre that readers expect, and if you don't give them that, they'll be disappointed. Disappointed readers are very bad for a writer's career.

I suspect that all the focus on genre writing can leave general fiction folks a bit confused. Many writers think they must have a genre, and never consider "fiction" a legitimate category. So they look for things in their story that will place them in a traditional genre category: science fiction, fantasy, romance, mystery, western, horror. Even if they don't really belong there. (I see this most often with romance. Just because there's romance in a story doesn't make it a romance novel, for example. )

Should you know what genre you're writing before you start a novel?

No, you don't have to, but I think your life will be made considerably easier if you do understand what genre you're writing for going in, because the category gives you a lot of information on how to write that novel. (especially if your goal is to sell this particular book) You'll know general word count range, what else has been published in that genre that's similar, what's popular, what's been done to death. You'll know what agents represent what books in that same genre. You'll be able to avoid problems that folks who wing a story and see where it lands won't have.

If you're unsure, the core conflict of a story almost always defines what that type of story is. As stories can be universal, look for the details to help you there. Strong fantasy elements? Science fiction elements? Horror? Western? Thriller elements? If your conflict is, for example, saving a sister from kidnappers, it's fantasy if it involves magic, science fiction if it involves aliens and science, a western if it involves cowboys during the Old West, a thriller if it involves terrorist or spies. (rough generalities here, but hopefully you see my point). The setting and details surrounding the problem help determine the genre. As does the path the protagonist takes to solve the problem.

Do they solve it through magic? Technology? Calling in favors down at the saloon? Go through the proper authorities? Go vigilante? These details are all based on your genre. The hero might fall in love during the story, but that's not the focus and core conflict of the novel. (if it is, then you probably do have a romance novel)

If you think, "Well, I'm just writing a story" that's fine. You're writing general fiction. Not every book is genre (probably only about half, actually). If the story develops into a genre, great, if not, that's okay too. Stories change. They even turn into things that cross over boundaries and defy categorization. (I'm talking genre here, not markets. That's a whole other post)

Problem is, novels that defy categorization are harder to sell, because agents and editors can't show a defined audience for that book. Sales and marketing folks don't like books that don't have a defined audience. Booksellers don't know where to put it in the stores. The book has to work that much harder to win publishing folks over. It's not impossible for a book like this to sell, but it is more challenging.

If that is what the story wants, then it's what the story wants and there's not always much you can do about that. There are great books out there that defy categorization (Diana Gabaldon's Outlander series is a good example, though it's usually shelved in romance), but like anything else, these are the exceptions, not the rule. The ones you think about are almost always mega-sellers, and they got that way because they were great books, not because they broke rules. They succeeded in spite of more times than because of.

Books are a product. Like any product, knowing who is going to buy that product helps in creating it. Knowing what kind of book you're writing before you start can go a long way toward creating a product people want to buy. Which means readers who want to read your book.

And eventually, you are going to have to categorize it when your start querying. It makes sense to figure that out before you spend a year or two writing it.

Do you think you should know your genre before you start? What genre do you write in? Do you know before you start a book or does it happen as you write?

Real Life Diagnostics: Are We Grounded? Setting the Scene and Engaging the Reader

2012-02-11T07:44:00.000-05:00

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and I diagnose them on the blog. It’s part critique, part example, designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, check out the page for guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Eight

This week’s questions:

This is the opening of a YA mystery novel I'm working on. I'm wondering if this opening is strong enough and engaging enough. Does it give adequate sense of voice and place and include enough tension? Should I cut or postpone the inclusion of anything?

On to the diagnosis…

Original text:
The bright blue dress my mother insisted I wear looked stupid. The neck was frilly, and it bagged across my hips. I hoovered a breath through my nose and tugged at the fabric for the millionth time. The shoes were just as bad – they pinched my toes together even while standing still. It sucked.

Clomping around the art studio to meet rich people while attempting to sell myself as a serious artist and forcing a smile filled me with the kind of dread I usually reserved for cheerleaders. And aside from my choppy black hair, dark-ringed eyes, pale skin, and brick red lipstick, I kind of looked like one at that moment.

Seriously. What had possessed me to allow my mom to pack my suitcase?

“Get it together,” I said to myself. I whipped out the smart phone my mom insisted I get for the trip and punched in a message to Katie and Miller, my two best friends: Kill me now.

Three knocks on the door whipped my head around so fast I thought I broke my neck.

“Stella, come on. Guests are starting to arrive. We need you out here.”

Ariel Greenbaum, the owner of the gallery, probably tapped the point of one perfect stiletto heel on the wooden floor outside the door as she spoke the words. The woman never had a hair out of place, never said the wrong thing.

She confused me: I hated her and wanted to be her.

I heaved out a gust of air, stowed my phone, and flung open the door. The gallery lighting was bright, which threw Ariel into stark relief, a glow haloing the severe brown bob.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, letting her manhandle me out of the bathroom and into the gallery.

My Thoughts in Purple:
The bright blue dress my mother insisted I wear looked stupid. The neck was frilly, and it bagged across my hips. I hoovered a breath through my nose and tugged at the fabric for the millionth time. The shoes were just as bad – they pinched my toes together even while standing still. It sucked. To give a better sense of place, you might consider a few more details in this paragraph to set the scene. Such as "I wear to the gallery opening" would show readers right away what she's getting dressed for. The word bathroom would also help, as it isn't until later you see where she is. Since she's not where readers would naturally assume (she's in her room at home) getting that information in right away grounds them.

[Clomping around the art studio to meet rich people while attempting to sell myself as a serious artist and forcing a smile filled me with the kind of dread I usually reserved for cheerleaders.] Love the cheerleader part, but this sentence feels a little long and awkward. The great line gets lost there at the end. [And aside from my choppy black hair, dark-ringed eyes, pale skin, and brick red lipstick, I kind of looked like one at that moment.] Self-description in first person is rough, but this feels stuck in here. You might look for a more natural way to say what she looks like. Perhaps when she meets the rich folks at the gallery? Their reaction to her looks could show it nicely and give her a reason to think about it.

Seriously. [What had possessed me to allow my mom to pack my suitcase?] This would make an awesome first line. It also transitions nicely to the paragraph about the dress.

[“Get it together,” I said to myself.] Does she actually say this out loud or just think it? The quotes suggest she says this. Since it's just her, you probably don't need the tag. I whipped out the smart phone my mom insisted I get for the trip and punched in a message to Katie and Miller, my two best friends: Kill me now.

[Three knocks on the door whipped my head around so fast I thought I broke my neck.] This feels overwritten and a bit awkward to me. I think it means that she was startled by the knocking, but it reads as if the knocks grabbed her head and whipped it around.

“Stella, come on. Guests are starting to arrive. We need you out here.”

Ariel Greenbaum, the owner of the gallery, [probably tapped the point of one perfect stiletto heel on the wooden floor outside the door as she spoke the words.] Not sure what this means. [The woman never had a hair out of place, never said the wrong thing. ] I like this, but it doesn't fit with her tapping her heels on the floor. How does that show she's never wrong and never has anything out of place?

[She confused me: I hated her and wanted to be her.] Very nice

[I heaved out a gust of air,] Be wary of trying too hard to over describe. stowed my phone, and flung open the door. The gallery lighting was bright, which threw Ariel into stark relief, a glow haloing the severe brown bob.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, letting her manhandle me out of the bathroom and into the gallery.

The questions:
Is this opening is strong enough and engaging enough?
It feels like the right place to start, but it's not quite grabbing me yet. I love that Stella is uncomfortable and dreading something that will ultimately get her what she wants (I'm assuming she wants to be an artist, so a gallery show is a big deal). That's a situation with a lot of potential conflict. But I'm not getting a sense of what she hopes to get out of this yet. She seems to dread it more than want it.

I'd suggest a little more internalization about what she hopes to achieve here, and a bit more about her situation. Is this her first show? Is there a lot riding on it? What does she have to do? You don't have to go into a lot of detail or explanation, but a few more lines would help show what she wants and how this is going to be a difficult day for her. And show what could go wrong, which will help raise the tension and narrative drive.

Does it give adequate sense of voice and place and include enough tension?
I like the voice in this, but some lines feel overwritten. Try letting Stella's voice come through more naturally and not try so hard to make her sound snarky. She's good when she's just her, awkward when she's trying to be overly descriptive. Trust your voice.

The sense of place is still a little murky. It isn't until the very end you find out she's in a bathroom, and almost the end before you find out she's on a trip and away from home. I'd suggest a few more details in the opening paragraph to let the reader know where she is.

As for tension, I think clarifying her goal and what can go wrong will help with that. Right now it's a girl who doesn't like her dress and doesn't want to go mingle with rich people. There's nothing to make you wonder what will happen, or care about Stella succeeding or failing at anything. But if we knew what she has to lose, and what she needed to do (especially if it goes against her nature or puts her out of her comfort zone) then we'd want to see how it turns out.

Should I cut or postpone the inclusion of anything?
I'd suggest waiting until a little later to get in what she looks like. (Unless you worked it into her fears or something goal related somehow). I'd also suggest moving the "don't let mom pack" line to the opening. That's great and accomplishes a lot of scene-setting. You might also wait a bit to describe Ariel and her quirks, and let readers see them when she actually does them. That would give you room to expand more on Stella's goals and fears.

Overall, I think you have the right pieces here for a great opening. I'm liking Stella, but I want to know more about her and less about the things I'll be seeing once she leaves the bathroom. Try tapping into her emotions more. You have a wonderful situation that teens can relate to -- being put on display and not feeling comfortable about it at all. Make us root for her, because Stella seems like someone worth cheering on.

Thanks to our brave volunteer for submitting this for me to play with. I hope they – and others – find it helpful. I don’t do a full critique on these, (just as it pertains to the questions) and I encourage you to comment and make suggestions of your own. Just remember that these pieces are works in progress, not polished drafts, so be nice and offer constructive feedback.

The Faceless Villain: What to do When Your Bad Guy Isn't a Person

2012-02-10T07:36:00.000-05:00

In a lot of stories (especially genre novels) the antagonist is a physical being that can be fought against. But what do you do when your antag is something to overcome, like depression, or a self-destructive streak? Technically, there's nothing plotting against your protagonist for them to fight. It's a personal situation or flaw holding them back.

These stories are a little tougher to write.

But like any good plot, even if your protag is dealing with something difficult, they'll still have an external force to reckon with. They'll still have a goal to work toward. They aren't sitting in a room trying to will themselves not to be depressed/grief-stricken/addicted.

In these cases, look for representatives of the problem the protag is dealing with. The problem might be the depression, but people are likely involved somehow in dealing with that depression.

For example, let's say your protag isn't trying to seek help. She doesn't know she's depressed (or whatever the situation is), she just feels a certain way. She's still going to have a goal of some type driving the story, even if that's to get everyone off her back and leave her alone. She will act in ways to achieve that goal. Something external.

The book isn't about "a girl who gets over her depression." That's her character arc or the theme. The inner journey. What she does to get over that depression is the plot. If she's not doing anything but being depressed and people try to help until she gets better, odds are you have a premise but no plot yet.

All plots need goals, so the protag needs something to work toward. And someone or something is going to be in the way or trying to keep her from that goal. Maybe it's Mom who doesn't notice she's hurting and makes the situation worse. Maybe it's friends who keep calling and she ignores them. Maybe it's the boy who knows what she's going through and recognizes her smile is all an act. Maybe it's her own behavior. Something.

A problem isn't necessarily an antagonist, it's just a problem. It might be a huge problem, and affect all aspects of the protag's life, but it's the external forces that are a result of or interfering with that problem that become antagonists. What events are a result of her depression that are preventing her from acting in some way?

If your protag knows she's depressed and wants to overcome her depression, then healing becomes the goal. But it still might not be enough, because with plots, you want a goal you can work toward that also includes stakes and rising tension. Perhaps she wants to heal so she can go to her daughter's wedding, or see the Eiffel Tower. She wants to get better because...? Even if it's "to get her life back" (a pretty common goal in a story like this), then what does that entail? What specifically needs to happen for that?

In this case, the depression itself is more of an antag here, but it's still not doing anything to directly oppose the protag. It's a cause for sure, but there will be obstacles to overcome that aren't just her illness. Something is in the way of her getting better. Getting her life back means getting treatment, reconciling with estranged loved ones, proving she can hold down a job. Whatever steps and events symbolize what "healing" means.

To heal, the protag will have things to do. Therapy. Medication. Lifestyle change. But the protag will also have issues the depression is causing. Her behavior due to this illness will likely make her act in ways that lead her away from healing and her story goal. Perhaps there are people aiding her in this who can become representative of her depression and work as antags as well.

It's Kind of A Funny Story is a great example of this kind of antagonist problem. The protag is depressed, is seriously thinking about suicide, and calls the suicide hotline. This leads to him checking himself into a psychiatric hospital to get well. His experiences in the hospital lead to his recovery, and he can get on with his life.

But that's not all the book is about. That would be boring from a fiction standpoint. There's a choice he has to make, a realization he has to have, sacrifices he has to accept. (goals and stakes are all about choices and sacrifices, right? Hence you have plot). The story question driving the book isn't "will he get well?" but "Will he figure out the problem so he can get well?" It's a subtle difference, but it's the difference between watching a guy go through a rough patch and rooting for a guy struggling with a problem and wanting him to win. That goal matters.

If your protag is facing a problem and not a flesh and blood antagonist, look for the things affected by that problem and find the goals and obstacles connected to it. Odds are the book isn't just a study of someone with a problem, but the things that problem affects and the choices that person makes to overcome, or survive, that problem.

Is your antagonist a problem and not a person? Do you have goals and obstacles for your protagonist?

We're All Heroes. A Thanks From Me, and a Treat for You (Pst...it involves a crit)

2012-02-09T07:31:00.000-05:00

On Monday, I was deeply honored (and touched, and moved) by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi over at The Bookshelf Muse. They have a wonderful series called "Writing Heroes," and I made the list.

It was totally unexpected and very appreciated. The congratulatory comments have made me a little misty-eyed more than once this week. There's a reason the writing community rocks, and this is a great example of how everyone is so supportive of each other. This means more to me than I can say, and I thank Angela and Becca with all my heart, and thank all my readers. I started this blog to help my fellow writers, and to hear it has is beyond rewarding. It makes writing the blog easy, even when it's hard.

One thing the Muses include with this honor is a free 1000-word critique for the hero by Angela and Becca. The hero can either use it or give it away.

To continue paying it forward, I'm giving away my critique to one lucky blog reader. I'm also adding a 1000-word critique from me to a second winner. Just leave a comment to be eligible for the random drawings and I'll pick two winners next Thursday morning (so let's say comments must be in by 6am EST).

Thank you all so much for this.

You Must Be This Long to Ride This Genre: What to Do When Your Novel's Too Short

2012-02-08T06:00:00.010-05:00

Although most word count problems are too many words, the too-short novel does happen. I've talked before about things to do to bulk up a short novel, but today, let's look at a novel that's not just light on something, but is actually, truly too short.

This novel has all the right pieces, a solid plot, good writing, good subplots, a complete and solid story, but it's not where it needs to be word count-wise. Just adding more stuff to it isn't going to solve the problem, because the book is working great right where it's at.

First, try doing a little research.

If the novel really is a solid novel at a lower word count, look to see what the word count range of your target market is. While most fantasies are typically long, you do see smaller novels in that genre. A 65K novel might fit in just fine, and doesn't need to be expanded to 100K. Mainstream novels run a wide range of counts. Same with the MG/YA markets. You might discover that your novel is unusual, but still within the traditional word count range for that genre or market.

If not...

If the novel is under 40K, (and not in the middle grade or young adult market) then you likely have a novella. Novellas have always been harder to sell, as there are fewer markets for them. But in today's world of e-books, the novella is starting to make a comeback. It might be worth looking at e-publishers and smaller boutique publishers who aren't as market-constrained as bigger publishers.

If the novel is more in the 50-60K range, (short for most markets outside teens) then you can submit as is, and keep your fingers crossed that this is a book that might be a rare exception. Or you can figure out a way to add enough words to it to squeak into your target market's low-end word count.

A 50K novel is roughly 200 pages (using the standard 250 words per page estimate). 60K is 240. Depending on your genre, you'd probably want to get those numbers up into the 60-70K range. Adding 10K translates to roughly 40-50 words per page, several paragraphs at least.

That's a lot of extra words for a novel that's already working.

While you might be able to add a few thousand to the count by tweaking here and there, adding a line of description or fleshing out bits, you're probably going to have to do a macro addition to reach your target count. A word of caution here. Shoehorning in scenes can feel like scenes shoved in, so be very careful about where and how you add something. It needs to serve the story and not just be extra words.

Easiest places to look for potential additions:

Act Goals/Climaxes
These major plot moments require steps to reach them. Perhaps one more step can be added without hurting the pacing. Chances are you won't find it in act one (there's typically only one thing that triggers your novel's core conflict), but act two is filled with things happening. One or two more scenes or even chapters might be workable.

Since you don't want to put a "just to delay the plot" step in the way, you might try looking at your theme or character arcs here. Perhaps there's a situation that will present a plot obstacle as well as a character issue or thematic illustration. Look forward to your ending, because you might be able to make a later moment more poignant by an earlier failure.

The Beginning
If the opening is working, you might not want to mess with it, but you also might be able to add another chapter to further flesh out the set up or mirror something about the ending.

The Ending
Perhaps there's more to wrapping up the story than you first thought. You might look for any loose ends or situations you might have alluded to but never followed up on.

A Victory That Could be a Defeat
Again, you don't want to craft a delaying tactic, but look at any situation where the protagonist won without too much of a fight. Are there ways to have them fail or struggle more to get that victory?

Delaying Tactics
If an obstacle comes up and the only reason it's there is to slow the protag down, it's likely a delaying tactic. It might not have any stakes at all, or they might be the same as the last obstacle. Either way, the obstacle doesn't actually do anything to serve the story. If it were gone, no one would notice and the protag wouldn't be affected.

To add a scene with meaning, let that obstacle or situation have an effect. The stakes are different, the outcome matters, it triggers something for the protag. Whatever it is, the protag is changed (no matter how small) because they went through this situation.

Themes and character arcs are great places to look for meaning here. Secondary characters can also help, as you can shift the focus to what they need and what they fear.

A too-short novel can be a troublesome beast, but you can get that word count where you want it to be with a little creative thinking.

Have you ever had a well-plotted too-short novel?

Guest Author James R. Tuck: "Speechtags are of the Devil," He Said

2012-02-07T06:00:00.005-05:00

Today, I'd like to welcome a great guy to chat with us about, well, chatting. Or more specifically, tagging our chatting. James R. Tuck will share his tips on writing dialog tags.

James was born and raised in Georgia and grew up enjoying all the South had to offer. Good food, adventure in mild winters and hot, muggy summers, excellent music, and good church folk. His debut novel Blood and Bullets releases today, and you can find more of his hero, Deacon Chalk, in his e-book novella That Thing at the Zoo. You can also find his short story, He Stopped Loving Her Today, at One Buck Horror.

Take it away JT...

Gather around kids, today we are going to talk about the evils of speechtags. You know what speechtags are. They are the he said, she saids of the literary world. Those little tagalongs that hitch rides on lines of dialog like hobos on freight trains. Some people like them because they are unobtrusive and easy on the eyes. They think you should use them exclusively, never deviating from the simple four letter word with a pronoun prefix. They feel the he/she said speechtag is simple, elegant, and unobtrusive.

They are wrong.

Speechtags are downright diabolical in their blandness.

Worse, they are a virus in your manuscript. They breed like little parasites of laziness. They are the tribbles of your writing and you should cut them out like the infestation they are.

I hear you saying: “But James, if I don't use them how will my reader know who is talking?”

Easy. You will show them who is talking. This is one of the subtle forms of show don't tell that takes a lot of work, but remember that every word you put on the page has to carry its own weight. Every word must pay for its time in your manuscript by doing as much work as you can squeeze out of it. Speechtags are the lazy way out. They are the corner cut.

Whenever you are writing two people talking in your story, very rarely are they standing in one spot in an empty room speaking in monotone. Characters should be dynamic. Doing things. Feeling stuff. Being real. So take your cues from how things happen in real life. Someone who is bragging will stick out their chest and start speaking in a slightly deeper baritone. Someone who is lying may look away, glancing around furtively. They may drag their feet in circles of distraction. Someone who is trying to seduce another person will lean in, lowering their voice to create a sense of intimacy.

Your characters need to follow suit. Have them do things to make it clear who is speaking and while they are at it, the things you have them doing should play into the conversation giving it subtext and weight that the words of dialog don't create on their own.

Let me show you what I mean. Here is what you should NOT do.

“Speechtags are of the Devil.” he said.

“I doubt speechtags have a religious affiliation.” she said.

“They do. They are evil little gremlins who haunt stories.” he said.

“I think you may be overstating things. They seem completely neutral to me.” she stated.

“No they are not. They slip in like sins of omission seducing writers to the dark side of lazy writing. They demand nothing and steal moments of creativity. They are the step-stones to bland writing!” he cried.

“You feel very strongly about this.” she said.

See, that was bland, bland, bland! Now, this is how it should be done.

The door slammed open. The heels on his shoes banged across the floor, overpowering the ruffle made by the sheaf of paper in his hands. “Speechtags are of the Devil.”

She looked up, the book she had been reading dropping down to rest on the Snuggie that wrapped her. “I doubt speechtags have a religious affiliation.”

The sheath of papers stabbed towards her like an accusing finger. “They do. They are evil little gremlins who haunt stories.”

Her lips quirked up at the corners. “I think you may be overstating things. They seem completely neutral to me.”

“No they are not. They slip in like sins of omission seducing writers to the dark side of lazy writing. They demand nothing and steal moments of creativity. They are the step-stones to bland writing!” The vein on his forehead stood out in relief, running crookedly up from his left eyebrow to disappear into a shaggy hedge of hair.

“You feel very strongly about this.”

Seconds ticked by as he looked at her from under shadowed brows, his lips drawn tight into a line that made the dimple on his chin crooked. Without another word he spun and walked away, his exit punctuated by the bang of his heels on the floor. She let out a small chuckle and picked up her book.

In example one you have no idea what is going on. You know that he said one thing and then she said something else. The words made sense, but you didn't know what was going on.

In example two the cues as to who is speaking tell you volumes about the two people. One is obviously a writer, frustrated with his manuscript, the other is a spouse who loves him for all his mercurial writer wackiness. She finds him amusing and is unruffled by his outburst. She is also a reader. There is more in there that I am not outlining, but you can draw your own backstory out of that second example.

Those are quick and dirty examples, but hopefully they show what I am talking about. Use the movement and the motion of your characters to impart the emotion of your characters. Using speechtags are like throwing loose bricks in the path for your dialog to stumble over and twist its ankle. Instead replace them with physical cues that will give your reader insight into the characters who are talking. Doing this will punch up your writing and keep it interesting.

About Blood and Bullets

He lives to kill monsters. He keeps his city safe. And his silver hollow-points and back-from-the-dead abilities help him take out any kind of supernatural threat. But now an immortal evil has this bad-ass bounty hunter dead in its sights. . .

Ever since a monster murdered his family, Deacon Chalk hunts any creature that preys on the innocent. So when a pretty vampire girl "hires" him to eliminate a fellow slayer, Deacon goes to warn him—and barely escapes a vampire ambush. Now he's got a way-inexperienced newbie hunter to protect and everything from bloodsuckers to cursed immortals on his trail. There's also a malevolent force controlling the living and the undead, hellbent on turning Deacon's greatest loss into the one weapon that could destroy him. . .

Do You Like Blood, Bullets, and Sexy Bounty Hunters? Me Too!

2012-02-06T11:25:00.001-05:00

I just found out author James R. Tuck is going to be at FoxTale Book Shoppe tomorrow night celebrating the release of his debut novel, Blood and Bullets. (I will totally be there)

I was on two panels with JT a few months ago at the Dahlonega Literary Festival, so I'm looking forward to reading his book after hearing about it. You'll get to hear more tomorrow, as JT is this week's guest author. I just wanted to pop in early and give everyone in the Atlanta area a heads up in case they wanted to come down and join in the fun.(And book launches are always fun at FoxTale)

Here's the info:
FoxTale Book Shoppe
770/516-9989
105 E. Main St., #138
Woodstock, GA 30188
Starts at 7:00

A Capital Idea! Knowing What to Capitalize

2012-02-06T06:00:00.002-05:00

Capitalization might seem like a no-brainer, but if you happen to write science fiction or fantasy (and possibly historical), odds are you've found yourself wondering if something should be capitalized or not. All those made up names feel like they ought to be capitalized, but then you end up with a bit of a mess.

Grundark made his way through the Emporium, carrying his Pouchblade and three bags of Elbonquin wine for the Regent's Flowering Ceremony. Crowds of Hillmen bumped into him, but the shy Filmori stayed at the edges of the street.

While this paragraph is also a good example why you shouldn't name everything (do you have any idea what most of those things even are?), all those capital letters feel off, calling too much attention to things that shouldn't be focused on so much. It's just awkward.

One trick I use is to replace the made up words with their real counterparts. It makes it a lot easier to see what's actually a proper noun (a specific thing vs a type of thing) and what's just a noun.

George made his way through the Mall, carrying his Pocketknife and three bags of Chardonnay wine for the King's Birthday Celebration. Crowds of Humans bumped into him, but the shy Dutch stayed at the edges of the street.

Some of those capitals look pretty silly now, don't they? Let's look at the pieces individually.

Grundark: Given names of specific people, of course, should be capitalized. Easy peasy here.

Emporium: This one could technically go either way. If the particular shopping area is called "Emporium" then you'd be okay with capitalizing it. If it's just a fancy way of describing where people shop in your world, it's lowercase. People go the mall, but the also go to Rodeo Drive.

Pouchblade: It is possible for the knife to be a particular kind of knife, like Bowie knife (named after a specific person, so Bowie is capitalized). But keep in mind that that's different from a butcher's knife (a general type of knife, so it's lowercase). If someone named the knife (like Excalibur) then you'd capitalize it.

Elbonquin: Similar to the type of knife, a description of something generally isn't capitalized. Wines come in many flavors and grow in many regions, so unless it's a specific place (like a Burgundy, from Burgundy, France) it's lowercase. If they can make it anywhere, it doesn't need that capital letter

The Regent: Titles are capitalization nightmares. If it's associated with a name, it's capitalized, if not, it's lowercase. My personal test here is to replace it with "president" to see which it would be.

President Whitmire (title + name = capitalization).
The president was in a meeting. (reference to general role, so lowercase)
"Can I get you anything, Mr. President?" (used as a proper name, so uppercase).

This also holds true for military ranks. Captain Bob. The caption was late. "Are you sure about that, Captain?" Another test if you're still unsure about "the X" -- if there were three of the word in question in a room, would it be clear who you meant? If Presidents Carter, Ford, and Clinton were all at the table, who is "the president?" They all are, so use the lowercase.

Flowering Ceremony: Another very tricky area. It's a ceremony, and it's a specific ceremony, but so is a birthday party and you don't capitalize that. Context will matter here, so look at how it's used in the story. Is this something that happens on a regular basis? Like an inauguration or a coronation? If so, it's lowercase. But the specific day might be capitalized, like:

Plans for the flowering ceremony were going well. They expected it to be a beautiful Flowering Day.

If you're unsure, look for the closest real world event and see how that's handled.

Hillmen: This one is probably the worst of the capitalization offenders. Species are not capitalized. Humans are lowercase, so if this is a race of "person" in your world, odds are its lowercase as well. You'd have elves, dwarves, orcs, fairies, vampires, etc. Of course, if it's a specific group within that species, you'd capitalize that: It's a dog, but that dog might be a German Shepherd. So you'd have elves, which might contain High Elves and Wood Elves.

Filmori: If you're referring to a particular resident of a region, then it's capitalized. Americans. Germans. New Yorkers. This also applies to organizations of particular people. The Fae, the Mob, the Sith. So you might have orcs after you, but they could be the Bloodthorn Orcs.

Let's go back and see how we'd write that opening paragraph now.

Grundark made his way through the emporium, carrying his pouchblade and three bags of elbonquin wine for the regent's flowering ceremony. Crowds of hillmen bumped into him, but the shy Filmori stayed at the edges of the street.

Quite the difference. It also helps put these terms in context so the reader has a better sense of what they are. Filmori likely come from Filmor, while hillmen are a race of people. A pouchblade is probably a small knife, and likely bought at the emporium. I bet you can also get elbonquin wine there, too.

There might be times when you choose to break a rule for the sake of emphasis, and that's okay. I'm pretty sure "the Duke" was capitalized all through my trilogy, when technically, in many cases "the duke" was grammatically correct. Sometimes you want to make sure readers are clear on who someone is and that they're important. The Duke was a specific person of great importance, so I wanted him to stand out. If you have a similar situation, feel free to capitalize away.

The goal of a capital letter is to make sure readers know the word refers to something specific, not just a general group or type. They're a bit like exclamation points that way. Use too many of them and the emphasis vanishes.

Do you struggle with what to capitalize in your story? What words do you commonly see capitalized that probably shouldn't be?

Real Life Diagnostics: Planting the Hook: Getting Readers Past the Opening Page

2012-02-04T06:00:00.012-05:00

Am I showing, not telling? Also, does it make you want to keep reading? And does it sound like the voice of a 16-year-old?

On to the diagnosis…

Original text:
Looking over the professionally landscaped garden I try to guess which plant will win. They jockey for space, the invasive pachysandra trying to choke out the weaker bleeding heart. The flashy irises pulling attention away from the subtle sea holly. In this contest only the toughest survive. It reminds me of high school—and this party.

I’m standing on the edge of the Phinns’s yard, while around me throngs of people sing, eat and laugh. The Phinn’s annual Fourth of July cookout features live music, a catered B-B-Q dinner, and the opportunity to mingle with the Who’s Who in Sugarland. But I’m not exactly a mingler, so I squat down to deadhead some flowers, checking my watch to see how much longer I’ll have to endure the crowd.

That’s when he surprises me.

“Hello. Happy fourth.”

I fall, catching myself on my hands and knees, then stand up quickly, brushing the dirt off my knees. “Oh, hi.” I push a lock of hair out of my face, most likely smudging my forehead with dirt.

“I’m Gregor Sveitch. I’ve just been talking with your mother.”

“Oh, okay.” I glance toward my mom, who’s now talking to another woman. My mom doesn’t often talk about me, so who knows what she’s told this man. “I’m Becca Ford.” I don’t recognize him. And what’s up with the gloomy dark clothes? Isn’t this a party? Although maybe they’re navy blue, not all black.

“She says you’re quite good with plants and work at a local nursery.”

“Oh.” This I can talk about. Plants are much easier than people. “Yeah, I love plants. They’re fascinating.”

“Really? I have some skill with plants myself. What do you find so fascinating?”

“Well, you know, lots of medicines were originally derived from plants. They can cure, but also make you really sick. Even sometimes cause death.”

The man nods, his black eyes laughing. “But you’re not interested in hurting anyone, I presume.”

“Oh, no. No, of course not. I just think they’re interesting. And pretty too.”

“That they are. Pretty and useful.”

My Thoughts in Purple:
Looking over the professionally landscaped garden I try to guess which plant will win. They jockey for space, the invasive pachysandra trying to choke out the weaker bleeding heart. The flashy irises pulling attention away from the subtle sea holly. In this contest only the toughest survive. [It reminds me of high school—and this party.] This make me feel like the narrator is older, out of high school and reflecting on it.

[I’m standing on the edge of the Phinns’s yard, while around me throngs of people sing, eat and laugh. ] Same here, though if it wasn't right after that reflective line it might not read that way. The Phinn’s annual Fourth of July cookout features live music, a catered B-B-Q dinner, and the opportunity to mingle with the Who’s Who in Sugarland. But I’m not exactly a mingler, so I squat down to deadhead some flowers, checking my watch to see how much longer I’ll have to endure the crowd. It says in the first paragraph about the party having an "only the toughest survive" feel, but nothing in this says that. Seems like a normal party.

[That’s when he surprises me.] This feels a bit retrospective to me, like this has all happened and the narrator knows who this is and how this happened.

“Hello. Happy fourth.”

I fall, catching myself on my hands and knees, then stand up quickly, brushing the dirt off my knees. “Oh, hi.” I push a lock of hair out of my face, most likely smudging my forehead with dirt.

“I’m Gregor Sveitch. I’ve just been talking with your mother.”

“Oh, okay.” I glance toward my mom, who’s now talking to another woman. [My mom doesn’t often talk about me,] Curious so who knows what she’s told this man. [“I’m Becca Ford.”] I was surprised that this was a girl. Something about the text felt like a guy to me. I don’t recognize him. And what’s up with the gloomy dark clothes? Isn’t this a party? Although maybe they’re navy blue, not all black. The tone of this paragraph feels different from the others. The others were older, more thoughtful, while this sounds younger.

“She says you’re quite good with plants and work at a local nursery.”

“Oh.” This I can talk about. [Plants are much easier than people.] Interesting. “Yeah, I love plants. They’re fascinating.”

“Really? I have some skill with plants myself. What do you find so fascinating?”

“Well, you know, lots of medicines were originally derived from plants. They can cure, but also make you really sick. Even sometimes cause death.”

The man nods, his black eyes laughing. “But you’re not interested in hurting anyone, I presume.”

“Oh, no. No, of course not. I just think they’re interesting. And pretty too.”

“That they are. Pretty and useful.”

The questions:
Am I showing, not telling?
Aside from that one line, it felt shown to me. And even that wasn't told per se, just felt like prior knowledge.

Does it make you want to keep reading?
There's nothing yet that hooks me, but there were a few lines that were intriguing and made me curious about the character. There's nothing to make me stop reading though, so I'd stick with it a little longer to see where the conversation was going.

Does it sound like the voice of a 16-year-old?
It could be a 16 year old, but it doesn't sound YA to me (a genre wasn't mentioned, so this could be an adult novel with a teen protag). There's a reflective tone to it with the high school and the he surprised me lines and that makes me feel like this is a story told from a time in the future. So I feel like this is someone who's been through this looking back on a time in their life. If this is for the YA market, I'd suggest eliminating those reflective sounding areas and make it feel more in the moment, which has a more YA vibe. If this is for adults it's probably fine.

Overall, this is one of those pages that's tough to critique, because it's a good snippet and there's nothing wrong with it. But it isn't grabbing me either (readers chime in with more opinions here). Something is likely about to happen with the strange man, but it's not there yet, and there no sense of something about to happen (no tension or narrative drive). However, had I read the query or cover copy and had an inkling of what the story was about, I might feel differently. I'd be able to put this page in context and read more into what's going on.

If the author wants to tweak, I'd suggest adding a little tension, a sense of a goal, or perhaps a better sense of the narrator and her voice. It's really close and I don't think it would take much to add a hook here. There are already a few interesting details, and perhaps knowing more about why Becca is avoiding the party or how she feels about the other people might show her better and let readers connect to her more strongly. If there was something to connect with -- a goal, a story question, a character -- then this could be a good opening.

Thanks to our brave volunteer for submitting this for me to play with. I hope they – and others – find it helpful. I don’t do a full critique on these, (just as it pertains to the questions) and I encourage you to comment and make suggestions of your own. Just remember that these pieces are works in progress, not polished drafts, so be nice and offer constructive feedback.

What Do They Know? Keeping Track of Character Knowledge

2012-02-03T07:30:00.000-05:00

Last week I talked about inserting small mysteries all throughout the story, so today, let's talk about keeping track of those mysteries and how they affect your plot. More specifically, what your characters know about those mysteries, what they think they know, and what they're just plain wrong about.

Have you ever had to flip back to double check what a character knows (or doesn't know)? Happens to me all the time, especially in revisions. I've found keeping a record of character knowledge really helps and cuts down on the amount of frustrating searches.

I use a spreadsheet, but any kind of list would work. The goal is to keep critical knowledge handy when you need it. I break it down to character and chapter. For example, if Bob hears a rumor in chapter six about a secret lab working on a cure for zombies, I go to Bob's row and chapter six's column and put down "rumor of secret lab." If he finds clues that suggest this lab is being run by the very people who set lose the zombie plague in chapter nine, I add in "thinks Gen-Core runs lab." As the clues (and assumptions) mount, I add them in. By the time I get to Bob discovering the real truth in chapter seventeen, all I need to do is check my spreadsheet to see what he knows so I know how he'd react to or deal with that truth. (And anything that might still need to be revealed)

Why Does This Matter?
I don't know about you, but if there's a lot going on in a story I sometimes forget who said what where. (Especially if I'm revising or have done several drafts) I might have someone shocked to discover something I actually had them learn five chapters earlier. Or I'm not sure if my protag knows a key piece of info they really needed to know by the time they got to this part of the book. Tracking it saves me the hassle of having to look for it, prevents me from repeating myself, and helps me with continuity and pacing. I can easily see when information is revealed -- a big part of keeping readers hooked.

What Do They Know?
Throughout the story your characters are going to be gathering information and learning things, even if it's not a mystery plot. They might be learning about loved ones, themselves, figuring out how to build a weather balloon, whatever is needed for the story. If your plot involves a mystery, the amount of information is bound to increase. You don't need to track everything, but anything plot related or details that matter down the line when someone knew something is helpful to write down. Things like...

When did someone first meet a character?
When did someone learn something critical?
What clues were found that someone might not have realized were clues?
What realizations did someone have?
When did someone start to suspect something?

What Do They Think?
Proving or disproving a belief is a big part of any plot, so I find it helpful to know what a character thinks, even if they haven't confirmed (or denied) it yet. This belief is very likely motivating them, and thus driving the goals and plot. Characters get information and then act on that information. You might want to track...

What someone think a clue means
Suspicions about a person or event
Who isn't trusted and why
Who is trusted and why
What bits of information or prior clues are making someone act

What Are They Wrong About?
On the flip side, characters get things wrong all the time. (So much fun). Since we know the truth, sometimes it's easy to forget the character doesn't know it, or thinks something else. So we might write a scene in a way that doesn't quite add up. Even though they don't know something, they act as if they do, and it changes the scene. I like to keep track of what they got wrong. This helps with red herrings and letting the protag make mistakes. Look for...

False conclusions based on available information or beliefs
Lies told by the antagonist or another character
Any cons being run (I use the word con loosely here. Anyone trying to pull a fast one)
Things the protag totally missed or read wrong

One extra beneficial thing about paying attention to what a character is wrong about, is that it allows you to see where you can surprise the reader. If all the character does is prove their theories correct, then the plot becomes predictable. But if they're wrong, then anything can happen.

Keeping Track of the Truth
It's not a bad idea to keep track of the truth as well. That way you have a record of what's really going on and where those truths or clues might be found in the story. It's heartbreaking to finally get a scene working, and then discover the big discovery your protag made in chapter eleven won't work because the antag didn't actually leave that clue until chapter fourteen.

You might think this is only good for mysteries, but all plots can benefit from a little record keeping. Think about how much time characters spend wondering what that love interest meant by X or the reasons behind Y. Jot down a few notes, and you'll always have control of your story's information superhighway.

Do you ever forget details and have to go searching for them? Do you keep track of who knows what and when? Would tracking info be a help, or feel like a hassle?

Getting Mad: What Mad Men Can Teach Us About POV and World Building

2012-02-02T06:00:00.001-05:00

My husband and I started watching Mad Men on DVD, which we hadn't seen before. All I knew abut the show was that a lot of people praised it highly, but we like to find old shows we've missed (no matter when they aired) and go back and try them.

Turns out Mad Men is about a group of Madison Avenue Advertising guys in the 50s. It's also a fantastic study of world building and point of view.

The world really was different back then, and this show is genius for inserting all the little details of life in the 50s. If you catch them, great, if not, you aren't hindered in the story. But the more you notice, the richer the world is and the more you shake your head at what life used to be like.

Imagine today if you...

Slapped your friend's kid for knocking over a glass, and your friend was okay with this.
Saw your 6 year old with a plastic dry cleaning bag over her head playing spaceman, and gave her a stern warning that she'd better not have messed up the dry cleaning that came in the bag, then sent her on her way.
Were fine when all the men in the office made regular sexual advances on all the women, and that this was expected.
And then treated the new divorcee in the neighborhood like she was there to steal all your husbands.

What makes Mad Men so compelling is that all of these things -- and more -- are just part of the background. No one thinks twice about it because that's just the way the culture worked. There's no judgment on it, except by those who feel one way or the other about their own world. A woman can playfully scold a friend for making a racist comment, but she's the only one who thinks it's inappropriate, and it's not even that big a deal. Her "offense" was less than when someone told an off color joke.

Another woman gets upset about the sexist treatment when it works against her, but she's all for it when it works in her favor. A man who has no trouble cheating on his wife (and girlfriend) is the one who spends the most time trying to figure out what women actually want. And another man says, "who cares?" and "I can't wait til my daughter is another man's problem."

None of these people see the world as we see it. And their acceptance of things we know are wrong makes it all the more interesting. Because this is the way it was, we don't judge them as harshly either. Since it's so obvious, the creator can make points without ever saying a word. You watch and think, "boy, have we come a long way." And in some cases, "yikes, we haven't come that far at all."

When you create your worlds and the people in them, no matter if they're here at home or in a fantasy world, remember that the people who live there take that world for granted and see it as it is, and has always has been. They won't have modern day views on how it works (unless of course it's set in the modern day, then they'll have their views on how it works).

Even if they're trying to change the world, chances are they won't be trying to make it what we think the world should be. They'll try to change the part that they disagree with based on what they've experienced. (This holds true for modern day stories set here as well) If slavery is acceptable, they won't think about the poor slaves. One might treat them like furniture, another may treat them like favored pets and think they're being kind. If backstabbing and ruthless business practices are the norm, no one with think twice about betraying a friend to get ahead. Or if they do, they won't think of themselves as being bad people, just hate the fact that this is what they have to do to do their job. Let your characters see and react to their worlds as someone living in that world would see and react to it. Keep your personal views out of it, and let the personal views of the characters fill it.

That means lots of small details that show the world in action. A variety of views on the social and cultural ideals and rules. Conflicting views, even within the same person. And yes, no matter what the world, this still applies. Someone who lives in LA has different views than someone who lives in Pocahontas, Arkansas. And both have different views than the gal in Finland.

No world is all anything. Take advantage of that, and your story world will be richer.

Are the rules of your world the same or different from ours? Do different characters have different views on things? Are there any "wrong" aspects or views that are seen as normal and right? Any "right" views seen as wrong?

We're Ready for Revision Pre-Flight: Top 10 Self-Editing Tips

2012-02-01T06:00:00.000-05:00

Even if you love revisions (like me), the thought of them can be overwhelming. If you don't enjoy them, it can be downright soul crushing. Where do you start? What do you look for? How do you know when you're done?

So here are my top ten tips to give you a place to start, and a map to follow, and a guide to get you home during your revisions.

1. It’s all about the story. No matter how much you may like a scene or a line, if it doesn’t serve the story it has to go. Check each scene against the core conflict and make sure it advances it in some way, no matter how small.

2. Layer it. Trying to edit the entire manuscript at once can be overwhelming. Edit in layers, focusing on one thing at a time (by chapter or the entire book) so you can focus and not get distracted.

3. Check your goals and motivations. Characters without strong goals and motivations driving the story can lead to weak stories. Make sure every character is acting with purpose, and not just doing what plot tells them to.

4. Check your character and story arcs. Is everything leading toward the exciting climax or do storylines go astray? Do characters grow or are they the same at the end? Arcs that advance and grow give the sense that the story is progressing, which helps keeps readers interested.

5. Make sure it’s dire. Stakes are vital to hold attention and keep readers wanting to know what happens next. Make sure your protag has a lot to lose if they don’t solve their problem.

6. Separate people. It’s easy to switch who says what during revisions, so go back and make sure you have individual voices for all your characters, especially your main ones. If you can’t tell who is speaking by how they say it, you might want to tweak further.

7. Know your weak spots. We all have words we like to use or things we do that we know we need to cut. Hunt down the mistakes you know are there.

8. Getting from here to there. Bad transitions can leave a reader confused, so make sure you switch smoothly and clearly when changing scenes, locations, and POVs.

9. Bury the backstory. Backstory creeps in on a first draft all the time, because we’re often still trying to figure it all out ourselves. Look for those sneaky bits and find a way to include the info in ways that don’t stop the story. If you can’t, cut it.

10. Don’t be afraid to cut. A lot of unnecessary information finds its way into a story because we’re uncertain if what we mean is getting across. Trust your reader to get it, and don’t beat them over the head when it’s clear what’s going on.

How do you feel about revision? What are some of your "must do" revisions tips?