The Other Side of the Story

Real Life Diagnostics: Are You Worried Yet? Heightening the Tension and Emotion in Your Scenes

2012-01-28T08:20:00.000-05:00

Real Life Diagnostics is a weekly column that studies a snippet of a work in progress for specific issues. Readers are encouraged to send in work with questions, and I diagnose them on the blog. It’s part critique, part example, designed to help the submitter as well as anyone else having a similar problem.

If you're interested in submitting to Real Life Diagnostics, check out the page for guidelines.

Submissions currently in the queue: Seven

This week’s questions:

In this passage my MC is a member of a group that is hunting a dragon for a bounty. My MC refers to the dragon as 'she'. Kent is the leader and he's a bit of an adrenaline junkie, so he's going to try to shoot the thing out of the air when it jumps toward him. My MC used to date Kent, but now she only tolerates him and no longer trusts him. They are in a forest at night, parts of it are now on fire, and the dragon is leaping out of a dried-up creek bed.

I want to know if this is scene is exciting and tense, and if not, how can I make it so? Is the action paced well, does it speed along? do you get the sense of slowing as she's running toward Kent? Does her emotion come through? Is it interesting enough that you want to know what comes next?

On to the diagnosis…

Original text:
And then the night is on fire again, a ragged, twisting, burning pattern of shadow and flame, a nightmare of screams and roars. She launches over the edge of the bank, sailing on the momentum of powerful legs, jaws wide, claws ready.

Hurdling straight for Kent.

My voice is a strangled cry as I leap up and run for him. I meant to scream 'no'. I'm not sure what actually came out. But I have to reach him, I have to save him.

And I have no idea why.

Everything is moving too fast, but at the same time it feels like the night is slowing, coming to a stop, like a merry-go-round reaching the end. I feel each foot shudder against the ground, find its balance, lift off again. Hear the soft slup of spongy leaves beneath me, The crisp shudder of my breath. And Kent.

Kent!

His eyes are narrowed, focused, the gun gleaming in the firelight. He doesn't move. My breath is trapped, a tight fist at the base of my throat.

Please, move!

I hear the sound, a clap of thunder, a strike of lightening. A bullet hissing through the air. The dragon's head shudders, wrenches left, and I know the bullet found its place. But it's not enough, she's not slowing. She won't stop in time.

I leap.

There's a moment of suspension, of floating, of time clenching to a stop. There's a violent warmth against my body, my breath leaving in one sudden huff. The night bathed in orange, heat searing my back. The smell of burned hair and a massive gust of wind over my body.

And then.

My Thoughts in Purple:
And then the night is on fire again, a ragged, twisting, burning pattern of shadow and flame, a nightmare of screams and roars. She launches over the edge of the bank, sailing on the momentum of powerful legs, jaws wide, claws ready. Good action through here

[Hurdling] Hurtling straight for Kent.

[My voice is a strangled cry as I leap up and run for him. I meant to scream 'no'. I'm not sure what actually came out.] Even though this if first person, this feels a bit detached, looking on instead of looking out. She isn't crying out and running for him, we're being told what her voice sounds like as she moves. Then what she means to do, but not what she actually does. It's a subtle difference, but this is one area you could up the tension more by having her reactions be more immediate and visceral. Let the reader feel her fear. But I have to reach him, I have to save him.

And I have no idea why.

Everything is moving too fast, but at the same time it feels like the night is slowing, coming to a stop, like a merry-go-round reaching the end. [I feel] here's another spot you could be more in her head to show the emotion instead of telling us what she feels. "Each foot shudders against the ground, I stumble, find my balance, lift off again..." each foot shudder against the ground, find its balance, lift off again. Hear the soft slup of spongy leaves beneath me, The crisp shudder of my breath. [And Kent.] I'd probably cut to avoid his name twice in a row. We know where she's going.

[Kent!] Her thoughts like this are great, as they bring me right into her head and the action.

His eyes are narrowed, focused, the gun gleaming in the firelight. He doesn't move. My breath is trapped, a tight fist at the base of my throat.

Please, move!

[I hear ] another spot you could tweak to be more in her head and expand on the emotions the sound, a clap of thunder, a strike of lightening. A bullet hissing through the air. The dragon's head shudders, wrenches left, and I know the bullet found its place. But it's not enough, she's not slowing. She won't stop in time.

[I leap.] I like the immediacy of this action. She's just doing it, not watching herself do it

[There's a moment of suspension, of floating, of time clenching to a stop. There's a violent warmth against my body, my breath leaving in one sudden huff. The night bathed in orange, heat searing my back. The smell of burned hair and a massive gust of wind over my body.] I like all these details, but again it feels like I'm hearing someone describe this scene, not feeling it as it happens. Try shifting it slightly to what she feels and experiences, not what you know happens to her. "For a moment I'm suspended, floating, time clenches to a stop..." Tastes vary on this though so readers chime in here and the similar passage above.

And then.

The questions:
I want to know if this is scene is exciting and tense, and if not, how can I make it so?
It's hard to get truly sucked in with a snippet like this since we don't know the characters, but I see how this scene in context would probably be a good scene. She's running to save Kent (solid goal driving it), and a dragon bearing down on him is quite high stakes. There are good details and the sense of things about to crash together in a big way.

Is the action paced well, does it speed along? Do you get the sense of slowing as she's running toward Kent?
Mostly, though there are a few areas that could be tightened to pick it up even further and get that time slows down sense in there. The descriptions are nice, but there is a lot of thinking in between the acting. Again, seeing this in context would determine if you needed to trim it or not, but my instincts say a little trimming here would be helpful. Here's one spot:

[My voice is a strangled cry as I leap up and run for him. I meant to scream 'no'. I'm not sure what actually came out.] But I have to reach him, I have to save him.

A lot of words are spent to say she cried out, and so much focus on that steals the immediacy of her frantic "I have to save him." The desperation of that paired with the unexpected hook of "I don't know why" next works well. I'd suggest finding something to show she cries out and runs for him, then skip right to the "I have to reach him, save him."

Here's another possible spot to tighten to both help the pacing and help with the slow time idea:

I hear the sound, a clap of thunder, a strike of lightening. A bullet hissing through the air. The dragon's head shudders, wrenches left, and I know the bullet found its place. But it's not enough, she's not slowing. She won't stop in time.

I do like the details here, but this is almost to the moment when these two sides meet, so picking up the pace here could pick up the tension. Something like...

Thunder claps, lightening strikes. A bullet hisses through the air. The dragon's wrenches left, but it's not enough, she's not slowing. She won't stop in time.

Same idea, same details, just thinned out a bit to get that sense of things moving fast. This could pair nicely with the later paragraph to help show time slowing down for her. At first she sees things moving (and reading) very fast, showing how everything is happening quickly. Then as time slows for her, the descriptions slow down and become longer as well. She notices things in a blur at first, then details clarify.

Does her emotion come through?
Yes and no. I can tell she wants to get to Kent, and the descriptions of her physical state do show someone who's worried or panicked. Her internalization shows she's worried, she needs to save him, she knows she might not be able to. However, you mentioned that she used to date Kent and now barely tolerates him, but I'm not getting any of that in the scene. There's no sense of conflict about her feelings, or any sense that she doesn't like or trust him. From just reading this, I'd say she was a gal who realized she loved the guy when he was in trouble vs. someone who was trying to save an ex she can't stand.

You might think about ways to get that in there (the whole scene, not just this snippet), as that could help up the tension even more. Will she step in or not? How does she feel about his risking his neck (and thus hers since she's with him on this hunt). Maybe she thinks about how the money isn't worth it. Your explanation of the scene shows a lot of really great potential for emotional conflict so perhaps try playing with some of that.

Is it interesting enough that you want to know what comes next?
I love this question because it really shows why pure action isn't that compelling in a book. I know (or assume) there are only a few outcomes here. Either she saves Kent or she doesn't, or some third party/event I can't anticipate comes in and acts. She probably gets hurts based on the descriptions, which happens when you dive in front of a fire-breathing dragon. All good things, but there's no mystery in this scene that makes me want to know what happens next because I don't expect any surprises.

If this was the opening scene I'd say worry, but as a scene later in the book it's fine. You very likely have mysteries going into this scene that do hook the reader, and the outcome will matter more to them because of that. They also already care about these characters so they'll care about this fight. I know from something the submitter said that there is indeed a twist, and if the reader knows that's coming (to felt like something that would be on the back cover copy) then they can be anticipating about this fight. I know from something the submitter said that there is indeed a twist, and if the reader knows that's coming (to felt like something that would be on the back cover copy) then they can be anticipating that. Also, if you play up those conflicting emotions about how the narrator feels about Kent, you might actually add mystery to this so it's more than just action.

So to answer the question, no, but I'd keep reading anyway, because I know this snippet isn't about creating mystery or hooking the reader. It's fulfilling a promise that already hooked the reader.

Thanks to our brave volunteer for submitting this for me to play with. I hope they – and others – find it helpful. I don’t do a full critique on these, (just as it pertains to the questions) and I encourage you to comment and make suggestions of your own. Just remember that these pieces are works in progress, not polished drafts, so be nice and offer constructive feedback.

Fundamental Check: Do Your Scenes Have What They Need?

2012-01-27T07:33:00.000-05:00

Sometimes it's good to go back to the basics when you're figuring out a book, especially if you've done a lot of revisions or have reworked the plot. A quick check of the fundamentals can help you spot weakness you didn't even know you had, because it forces you to look at specifics, not just read for a general sense of the plot.

My current WIP is a perfect example. I spent the last several weeks on my outline and was ready to start the hardcore revisions. I love my templates and "did you do it?" lists, so I took one last peek to make sure I had all the necessary pieces and had worked out everything I'd wanted to fix. I checked my list of what every scene had to have.

Every scene must have a goal, a conflict, and stakes. It really needs motivations as well, and I threw in choices this time to keep the protag proactive and the story moving. Tension is important, so I added that to the list. For this book, I also wanted to keep track of my foreshadowing and world building, as I needed to lay a lot of groundwork and establish some fantasy world rules. I designated each of these vital pieces in a different color. It looked like this:

Goal. Choice. Stakes. Conflict. Tension. Motivation. Foreshadowing. World Building.

Then I used this guide and colored the text in my opening scene summary according to what each piece did. My reasons here were simply to double check that I had all the mechanics in place and hadn't left anything off during all my back and forth tweaks while re-focusing the plot.

Let me tell you, I was shocked by the results.

The first thing I saw was that I had no goal, no current stakes, and no conflict whatsoever. A huge surprise considering I'm a bit of a goal-conflict-stakes freak, and the summary read like a pretty solid scene to me.

But when I looked closer during this check list, I realized sure, it had a goal, but it was a general goal that applied to the whole story, not something specific to this scene. There were stakes, but again, so general they were a constant threat for my protag the whole book (stakes that don't escalate aren't very compelling). Same with the conflict. Everything was technically there, but not specifically there, and the scene wasn't as strong as it could be. It would be a good scene, but we all know "good" isn't good enough when it comes to publishing.

This is exactly why I do these little exercises. I can't tell you how many times I've caught something because I took the time to step back and double check my fundamentals.

With a scene (and a realization) like this, your first instinct might be to add goals, conflict and stakes, drawing from elsewhere in the novel or making it up so you have an exciting beginning. However, there's a good chance you'll end up with a scene that has a lot of extraneous stuff in it that doesn't actually help your story. It might fulfill the scene requirements, but not much else because you're adding what's missing instead of bringing out what's already there.

This is definitely a tip that needs an example, so here's my original opening scene summary (names and some info changed for clarity):

C1: Alice is wandering through the military ward spying on the soldiers when she notices a change in the training sessions. They look more serious, have different armor that seems specifically crafted to defend against certain weapons, and she concludes not only are they prepping for war, but against her people. (Equates it to a prior campaign, get in empire/conquer idea). She plans to tell her handler, Irving, this later when she sees him. She also notes one of the servants kissing one of the soldiers (a big no-no), but she decides not to tell her servant friend Brenda about it, (use to set the rules). She also sees one of the soldiers who's regularly mean to Brenda getting chewed out. Alice plans to tell Brenda later to share the gossip and make her feel better (show her give and take in spying). When it's time to head down to meet Irving, Alice runs into Brenda on her way to the kitchens. They chat for a bit about an upcoming event. Alice tells her what she saw, offers a few leading gossip questions about the soldiers to get more info (show her spying - what do you think is going on? Is it war?), and hears a few things in return (use for rules and world building), then Alice heads out to meet with Irving. As she's leaving, she spots Commander Xavier watching her, looking very suspicious (reason redacted), which worries her, and totally freaks out Brenda. Brenda mentions one of the rumors about him (lay groundwork). Alice is very concerned, as Xavier has never even looked at her before, so why now?

As you can see, my outlines tend to be rough and include notes to myself to make sure I cover certain mechanical things, but hopefully it's clear enough to show what I'm talking about. Do you see the weak goals? The general stakes? The lack of a really good reason to care? But do you also see all the pieces that will make this scene sing if I tweak it a bit?

Let's break it down.

Goal:
"Spying" is what my protag is doing. What makes this a weak goal is that she's not after anything in particular. Spying is what she does all the time. She's also simply noticing something that she ought to be proactively doing to drive the scene. She's reacting to what she happens to see, not actively seeking it out. This scene isn't about her trying to accomplish anything, it's just her going about her regular day. (the regular day is good for an opening scene, but it also needs a story-driving goal to get things moving)

Conflict:
Zero conflict, which is what happens when you have a weak goal and little at stake. There's nothing preventing Alice from spying. There might be a smidge of possible internal conflict when Alice decides not to tell Brenda about the kissing couple, but you don't see why. And from my notes, you see it's more for world building than actual plot. It sets up conflicts for later, but there are none in this scene.

Stakes:
No real stakes here. What makes it weak is that Alice can walk away and nothing happens to her. There are no consequences for her abandoning her goal. There are some hints at future dangers, and potential for other people to get into trouble (the kissing couple), but the only real threat is Xavier at the end, and that's pretty vague. It's more foreshadowing than actual stakes. I know this character is a huge threat to Alice, so it feels like higher stakes to me even though there's nothing yet on the page to show that.

How many folks here have drafts with similar problems?

I'd bet there are a lot of frustrated writers staring at their "looks good to me" outlines or chapters yet unable to figure out what's wrong. It feels like the right pieces are there, and maybe some of these scenes get stronger in the actual text, but the book keeps getting rejected or getting negative feedback in crits.

If you're struggling with this right now, try going back to your fundamentals and identifying exactly what your goals, conflicts and stakes are. Be specific. Look for motivations and choices as well, as those help keep your protag active and driving the story.

Let's go back to my scene and apply this:

First, the goal:
Alice needs a solid and specific scene-driving goal. Something that will hopefully hook the reader to keep them reading. That's easy to fix here. She's there spying on purpose, with a very clear agenda in mind. She doesn't just happen to notice something, she's there to find out specifically that thing. To help with the hook, let's also make it clear why she needs to find this out.

Choices and motivations can help to determine how strong your goal is. If you can explain why your protag has this goal and see choices that result of trying to achieve this goal, then you're on the right track. If the motivations are vague or absent, odds are your goal is also vague and not strong enough to effectively drive the scene.

Second, the conflict:
Something needs to prevent Alice from getting her spying done, or prevent her from just walking away if now's a bad time to do it. Let's put Xavier there from the start and have him see Alice right away. She then has to decide on how to proceed (add that choice).

But this still doesn't feel strong enough to me because we don't really know why Xavier is a threat yet, and there's nothing saying she has to do this right now or else. She needs a reason to act here (and preferably, one that will work as a bridge to get her to the inciting event).

So let's put Brenda in that compromising position with a soldier. And then have the mean soldier headed right toward her and about to discover them. Now Alice has to decide if she should risk herself to help a friend (and a valuable asset since Alice is a spy, doubly so since she now knows Brenda is secretly dating a soldier and might have ever more useful intel she can use) or avoid Xavier and potentially getting on his radar (which is bad for spies). Both internal and external conflict over Brenda, and external conflict with Xavier. Even better, if Alice acts here to save Brenda that can even put her into conflict with the mean soldier bearing down on them. (she's trying to prevent him from going wherever he's going in order to protect Brenda)

To recap: Alice's goal of spying is blocked by Xavier, who is a threat to her. It's made more complicated by her seeing a friend in trouble. That's made more complicated by that person having both personal and professional value that Alice could lose access to if Brenda gets into trouble. But to preserve that, Alice has to risk her bigger overall mission.

Third, stakes:
For this opening scene, it was important to establish stakes not only for the scene but for the story at large. Putting Xavier right up front allows me to show why he's a danger to Alice and set the general "spy = danger" stakes. But the scene also needs something at stake right now to raise the tension and make the reader care about what happens. Alice has to risk something personal here. We need to see her make a sacrifice.

Enter Brenda. Not only does Alice risk her original goal/mission, she can put herself between Brenda and the mean soldier, risking bodily harm. It also draws attention to her (which she was trying to avoid), both from the other soldiers and from Commander Xavier. Alice really shouldn't be there at all and her presence is suspicious. Having folks suspicious of you is really bad for a spy.

Now Alice has things to lose and reasons why she can't just walk away and come back later.

The changes are minor and used what I'd already done, but now it's a much stronger scene. Not only does it drive the plot better, it allows me to establish critical background and foreshadowing information in very natural ways that won't stand out as infodumps or backstory. It also puts a minor character into a stronger role, which means I won't have a lot of faceless names filling roles just because I needed a body there. That's great for the overall story, because Brenda's actions here will have ramifications later on. Layering the conflicts now gave me a bigger plot pool to draw from for future scene.

I won't lie, doing this to 50 or so scenes in a novel takes time, but I was thrilled with the results when I was done. The plot tied together better, every scene had real drive and a reason for readers to keep reading. The stakes escalated and the conflicts grew more and more conflicted because I kept layering them. Every scene had purpose and achieved multiple things.

This is helpful for first drafts and revisions, so don't forget to check the fundamentals. Weak scenes lead to weak stories, and specifics go a long way toward strengthening a scene and making sure your story stands on solid ground.

Do you check your scene fundamentals? Do you have any scenes right now that you think this trick will help?

Work It, Work It: Breaking the Writing Rules

2012-01-26T06:00:00.000-05:00

Chances are, you've either heard or said the words, "if it works, it works" at some point in your writing life. You've probably also said, "well that's not very helpful" or "I know this isn't helpful, but..." Since there are no real rules in writing, anything can be done, and sometimes breaking the norm is exactly what a story needs.

It's also something that's very compelling to try just to be different, usually with disastrous results.

How do you know if "it works" or it's just a mess?

When you break the rules,what determines whether or not it works is why it was done and how it serves the story. Doing something different just to be different rarely succeeds, but if it was a conscious choice to achieve something you couldn't do any other way, it often works. And most importantly, it allows you to tell the story in a way that brings out an aspect that transcends mere words on a page. How you did it adds a layer same as what you said.

I've pulled four books off my bookshelf I think are good examples of books that break the rules, but work anyway.

The Book Thief
By Markus Zusak

This one breaks all kinds of rules. It's narrated by Death, but focuses on the other characters in third person omniscient. But Death breaks into the story all the time to talk to the reader, in first person. It's mixed within the third person text, so essentially, you have two POV types going on at once, all while breaking the fourth wall.

This works because it's the ultimate omniscient narrator. An all knowing, truly omniscient being is telling the story, and it's his story, even if it focuses on the main character, Liesel. Zusak never lets you go too long without reminding you that Death is the one talking here. Since he's true to his narrator, the unique narrative style works.

Zusak also breaks in with loud proclamations about things. In bold. Like this:

*** SOME OTHER SMALL FACTS ***
Sometimes I arrive too early.
I rush,
and some people cling longer
to life than expected.

You'd think this would be odd and yank you out of the story, but it doesn't. Death is allowed to make declarative statements, and we go with it because it's DEATH. Of course he knows everything. And since these statements are solid in Death's POV, they don't come across as the author making a declaration. These are things that Death would say, and no other. Again, staying firm in the POV. This isn't some faceless narrator here, it's a person (so to speak) with very strong opinions and a unique view of the events at hand.

Another rule Zusak breaks is telling you things that are going to happen long before they do, a'la "little did he know the killer waited just around the corner."

Knowing what's going to happen to a character usually lessens the tension, but here it doesn't. We know the outcome of most books anyway (heroes usually win, bad guys get defeated) but the how and why are what drive us to keep reading. In The Book Thief though, I think there's another reason why this works so well.
We know the setting and the history around that setting.

It takes place in Nazi Germany during World War 2. Much of the tension comes from knowing what's going to happen to that little town and those people without the author ever having to say a word. So when Death says someone is going to die, we take that as a given. When Liesel's foster father does something kind for a Jew, we know how his neighbors will react. We can guess what will happen, so telling us doesn't change our perceptions of the tale at all. It's what we expected anyway.

Even more importantly, Death doesn't care about who lives and dies (well, he does, but not as we do), because they all will eventually. The stakes don't come from typical human emotions, they come from Death and his fascination with humanity and this girl. His priorities are different, and since he wants to know, we want to know, because he's made us curious about the things he finds important.

Another book that plays with mixing POV types is...

Skin Hunger
By Kathleen Duey

This book is a favorite of mine and I've talked about it before, but it's a great example of how to mix POVs effectively. Skin Hunger tells the tale from two POVs, a first person boy in the present day (for the setting of the book) and a third person girl in the past.

This works because the past bears significantly on the first person story, but the present day is what's important. Hahp is the person Duey wants you to identity with and root for (I'm guessing since she did it so well) so you get up close and personal with him. Sadima is the one to wonder about, so third person keeps us from getting too close before Duey is ready for us to be there. Duey couldn't have achieved this if she'd done third and third, or first and first because the two sides would have had equal weight. The more you read, the more you find yourself wondering what the past story has to do with the present, which is exactly what Duey wants you to do. Just as you can't stand not knowing, she tosses you a clue as to how these two stories link.

Anyone who has a "the past really does influence the present" type story should definitely check this out. The past here is its own story, and it does connect to the present day tale.

Living Dead Girl
By Elizabeth Scott

You could say this breaks both a word count rule and a taboo rule, but I'm focusing more on the word count aspect. This is a powerful story about a girl who is kidnapped by a sexual predator at age 10, and at 15, he wants her to find and help him kidnap a new girl to replace her. It's all of 27,000 words long.

This works because of the nature of the story. Scott's tight prose doesn't waste a word, and it fits wonderfully with narrator Alice's voice. Adding words to this story would have mucked it up. Alice wouldn't be the "dead" girl if she thought more or wondered more, because she would have come across as a girl who hadn't been broken. Alice sounds and feels authentic, and the result is heartbreaking.

A longer word count also would have delved deeper into a topic and experience that would have been uncomfortable after a while. It's a story that has to be short because we couldn't bear to live in Alice's world much longer, even though we're drawn so well into it. Alice's world is small, and what she endures is terrible. Once you've seen it, you don't need to repeat it for another 30,000 words, and Scott knew that.

The Everafter
By Amy Huntley

Another favorite of mine, this one breaks the rule, "stories should be told chronologically." In The Everafter, narrator Madison is dead, floating in a void where she sees objects lost in her life. When she touches one of these objects, she re-experiences that moment in time. The story jumps around from infancy to childhood to her teen years and ultimately how and when she died.

It works because these pieces all show you who Madison is and make you care about her, so you want her to find out how and why she died as much as she does. Had Huntley simply started at a date prior to Maddy's death and moved on, the story would lose all it's magical appeal. (and likely narrative drive) It's not so much the events that matter, but the lessons Maddy learns as she explores her life and death. Similar to how Zusak used the first person-third person in The Book Thief, Huntley uses Maddy's journey through her own life to give a third person perspective with the intimate first person narrator. Only by being outside of it can Maddy really examine her life and understand who she is and was. And that understanding makes her death all the more touching.

So, what can we as writers learn from books like these?

Don't be afraid to take chances and break the rules, because you might create something fantastic if you do. But don't do it willy nilly either. If you veer off the path, make sure your feet stay firmly grounded on where you're going and what you're trying to do. If you have strong reasons that hold up to questioning, you just might have a story that will work as a rule breaker.

What rules have you broken? Did they work or fall flat? What other rule breaking books have you admired?

Leave the Breadcrumbs Behind: Are You Asking -- and Answering -- the Right Story Questions?

2012-01-25T06:00:00.000-05:00

I've been spending a lot of time working on my outline in preparation for revising my current novel, because I want to make sure I have everything figured out so the re-writing is easier. I have a lot of layers and mysteries in the works, so I decided to keep track of what breadcrumbs I was leaving behind.

And I discovered something fun and quite helpful.

Identify the reader questions in each act.

Sounds simple, doesn't it? Probably something you assume you already do (I know I did). But while I knew the main story question of every act, there were a lot more things the reader might be wondering about, and some of them I didn't do much with. These little questions were all missed opportunities to deepen my story and keep that all-important tension high.

I went scene by scene in my first act (nine chapters for this book) and wrote down every question a reader might want to know. The plot and subplot questions were easy, as these are the ones driving the narrative. The smaller mysteries were less obvious, but many of them could be expanded on or used later in the story to tie things together (and work as great red herrings).

Things like:

What's the deal with X and his attitude?
Who's really behind Y?
Will J tell A how he really feels?
Why is Q so scared of X?
What did K mean by XYZ?

No matter how small the mystery, if it was something a reader might wonder about and want to know the answer to, I wrote it down. I was quite pleased by how many things there were to make the reader curious about how they might turn out. It let me know I had layers to braid together for a more compelling story.

It also gave me a great reference guide to use for later in the book. The middle is always rough since that's where the bulk of the plot happens and you don't have the setup or climax to drive it. Except now I had this wonderful list of all the things I teased the reader with in the first act. All of these questions could be resolved, revealed, expanded, further teased about, throughout the second act of the book -- or the third.

And knowing what my reader questions were for each section, I was able to quickly see connections and story arcs that could be woven together or taken advantage of. I could also see where a question was left hanging and never resolved, a potential plot hole that could leave a reader unsatisfied.

Some of these breadcrumbs were intentionally left, but many were just scattered into the story as they came to me. It's no surprise that these were the ones that were forgotten, or that they made the best connections. The subconscious at work and all.

Try making a list of all your story questions per chunk of your novel. The three act structure works great here, but however you break up your novel is fine. Look for the big turning points that move the core conflict.

Write down the core conflict ones. Then write down your character arc questions, any subplots you know you have brewing. All the obvious and easy stuff. Keep them in their own sections for easy referencing later.

Now, scan through your pages or your outline, and look for anything a reader might wonder about. A character motivation or behavior, a rumor or gossip, a bit of world building that is intriguing but never explained.

Also look for things your characters wonder about. If they want to know, odds are your reader does too.

Once you have them all down, read through them. Start with act one and see if/where you answered those questions or resolved those mysteries. Did you get them all? Were any left behind? Do the same for each act.

Next, look to see what was left out. Are these mysteries you can expand on? Get rid of if they don't add anything? Use to raise the tension or surprise the reader in a slow or troublesome scene? Can you combine any of these mysteries? Give one to another character?

Reveals are a big part of keeping a reader hooked, and wanting to know how something turns out or finding out a secret will keep them up way past their bedtime. Knowing what breadcrumbs you've left behind is a great way to ensure you're leaving a trail worth following.

What are your big reader questions? Do you have reader questions per act? Are you leaving enough mysteries to keep your reader hooked and guessing, or are you relying on action to move your story forward? Are there any questions you can do more with? Less with?

Guest Author Rochelle Melander : Conquer Sabotage Before it Conquers You

2012-01-24T06:28:00.000-05:00

Today I'd like to welcome author and writing coach Rochelle Melander to the blog. Rochelle has some great tips on how to spot -- and avoid -- the things we do to ruin or writing careers. (I know I'm prone to #1, what about you guys?) A new year is a great time to start putting a stop to bad habits that will keep us from our goals.

Rochelle Melander is a certified professional coach and the author of 10 books, including a new book to help fiction and nonfiction writers write fast: Write-A-Thon: Write Your Book in 26 Days (And Live to Tell About It) (October 2011). She teaches professionals how to get published, establish credibility, and navigate the new world of social media. In 2006, Rochelle founded Dream Keepers Writing Group, a program that teaches writing to at-risk tweens and teens. Visit her online at www.writenowcoach.com.

Take it away Rochelle...

As any athlete knows, momentum is the most unstoppable force in sports. The only way to stop it is if you get in your own way, start making stupid mistakes, or stop believing in yourself. —Rocco Mediate

According to Wikipedia, sabotage is “a deliberate action aimed at weakening another entity through subversion, obstruction, disruption, or destruction.” Writers often blame the family members, friends, colleagues, and people in high places for sabotaging our career. We rail against the agents and publishers who reject our work. We fume about the friends who ignore or diminish our accomplishments. We get angry at the family members who do not understand the importance of our writing. While all of these might be valid complaints, most of the writers I coach must first conquer the ways they sabotage their own writing before addressing outside forces. They set audacious goals and then do everything under their power to make sure they cannot accomplish them.

Before I get to the ways writers sabotage their own work—I want you to think about a big hairy audacious goal. If you could finish one project this year, what would you choose? Got it? Okay, hold that in your head as I review the five common forms of self-sabotage and teach you how to deal with them.

1. Conflicting goals.
When we set conflicting goals, we undermine our ability to achieve anything. The writer who takes the assignment to write a 2,000-word article in the same month that she is sending holiday cards to all of her relatives, hosting the neighborhood holiday open house, and getting the kitchen redone, may not be wonder woman but the queen of self-sabotage. One of the easiest ways to sabotage our own writing career is to over promise and under deliver. When you set a big writing goal—finishing a novel, tackling a new article market, or writing a book proposal—examine your life for any other goals that might conflict with your project. And here is a hint: one way writers sabotage their progress is by having too many writing projects to work on at one time. Stop! Choose your one project and then do what you can to eliminate the competing goals, leaving your time and energy free to work on your big hairy audacious writing project.

2. Procrastination.
When we delay writing in favor of doing anything else, we sabotage our writing career. When I was in college and graduate school, we all procrastinated. We put off studying and paper writing in favor of having fun. But as an adult, procrastination looks different. Most of the procrastinators I know are not lazy bums, spending hours watching television instead of writing that novel. Here are some common ways writers procrastinate: working extra hours, volunteering for a good cause, over parenting their children, cleaning and cooking, researching, taking classes, and taking on writing assignments that do not engage them. If you are going to tackle and achieve this big hairy audacious writing goal, you need to let go of your procrastinating ways. Observe your behavior for a week. Pay attention to the tasks you are willing to take on just to avoid working on THE BIG GOAL. Can you let go of these procrastinating behaviors in order to work on your big writing goal?

3. Hot air and busted balloons.
When we share our writing ideas with others before we have written them down, we risk losing the creative energy to write the story. We also open up our fresh new ideas to the harsh criticism of others. Like a caterpillar in a cocoon, your ideas need time to mature and grow before they can fly. Keep a genius journal where you can jot down your wisdom and million-dollar ideas. Let them sit there and grow until you are ready to write. Do not show your stories to the world until your work is ready.

4. But I write well!
When we refuse to revise our work or receive outside criticism and help, we sabotage our publishing career. I’ve met many writers who do not believe they need either a critique group or an editor. Most of these writers are still not published. Every first draft sucks and every writer needs an editor (and often two editors). Before you submit your work, take time to revise it. If possible, invite the help of a critique partner or critique group or hire an editor.

5. Hidden treasure.
When we refuse to submit our writing, we sabotage our success. As John Campbell said, “The reason 99% of all stories written are not bought by editors is very simple. Editors never buy manuscripts that are left on the closet shelf at home.” Writing for yourself or your children is all very well and good, but if you want to make a career out of writing, you will need to submit your work at some point. Make a long list of potential agents or publishers, take a deep breath, and submit. When a rejection comes (and it will), try again and again and again until you get accepted!

Writers, sabotage happens. Most of us have war stories and wounds from the friends, colleagues, and publishing people who have sabotaged our work. We do not need to sabotage ourselves. Make 2012 a better year for you by eliminating self sabotage and going after that big, hairy audacious writing goal!

What's Their Story? Discovering the Front Story of Your Non-Point of View Characters

2012-01-23T06:29:00.001-05:00

I recently talked about how helpful it was to write the backstory for my characters. That exercise went so well, I decided to write the front story for them. Find out what they planned to do with all that history I had given them.

What makes the front story (totally my term here) different from basic plotting is that you aren't trying to craft an exciting story. It's not about finding a cool plot, it's about figuring out how that one character fits in with the rest of your story. What's their life like when the protag isn't around? Kinda like Shaun in Shaun of the Dead. The zombie apocalypse has come, but that's all going on on another street (where Buffy s saving the world probably) and he's just living his life during this time. What he's doing is separate from the "hero," even though their paths will cross.

I took each non-main character and wrote out their story as if it was their book and they were my POV character. I didn't try to craft a new tale or anything, and some characters had short paragraphs if they didn't do much, but what this summary did was allow me to see how that character fit into the overall story and where I might make better use of them.

For secondary characters this was much easier, because they already had roles to play (and characters I wrote the backstory for were easier still to write the front story). For minor characters it was even more enlightening, because I found ways to make their small roles really matter to the plot.

Looking at the book from different character's perspective gave me some new perspectives as well. I got to see:

What they wanted independently from my protagonists that could be potential conflicts.
What their scene goals were when they were interacting with my protags.
What they were doing when they weren't on screen.

For example, two smaller characters show up several times in the story. They're more for color and world building than anything else, but after I looked at their front stories, I found ways to use them much more effectively.

Both characters are great mirrors for my protagonists. They allow me to show what their lives would be like if they screwed up or didn't solve the problems I threw at them in the book. They're like symbolic layers to my main characters, and through them I can show aspects of my POVs they couldn't otherwise see on their own. Consequences that could be their fate if they took a different path.

Small problems that were minor issues my protags had to deal with were now cautionary tales, foreshadowing, or even a display of the risks they were taking. All things I wouldn't have seen had I not looked at these character's stories closer. And all things that will make the book richer.

Try looking at your non-POV characters, no matter how large or small their role. Write out how their story would go if readers followed them during the course of your novel. Think about:

What are they doing while the protags are solving the novel's conflicts?
How would the major plot events affect them?
How would the protag's actions affect them?
What would they do to protect themselves?
What would they know? Not know?
Would they try to help? Hinder? Stay out of it?
What would their reaction be to the major reveals? The minor reveals?
Whose side would they be on?

Some characters won't have very interesting stories. Nobody would want to read about the cook in my novel's palace, but by thinking about how she fits into the story's world made me realize a few things about her that I could use. She actually does know things that can hurt my protag, and would probably do it if she got the chance. Her interactions with this character will unfold differently now. I'll be thinking about these things as I revise, and when my protag is around this character, tensions will rise and that scene will be a whole lot more interesting.

Other characters will have plenty to offer and might be in the right place at the right time just when you need them. (Like my minor characters whose lives just got more complicated now that I see what I can do with them).

While the story centers around your protagonist, try thinking about how it affects the other people in your book's world. You might find ways to deepen your story you never knew existed.

How often do you think about how a secondary or minor character affects your story? Do you give them lives off screen? Think about what they do when they're not in a scene. Is there anything about those characters that can make your story richer?

Real Life Diagnostics: A Guy Walks Into a Bar...Setting and Secondary Characters

2012-01-21T07:25:00.000-05:00

This excerpt is about 30k words in, and the main characters and settings have already been established. I'm introducing a secondary character and a completely different setting, and wanted opinions on whether I did it effectively. My questions:

1. Is the transition from setting to character smooth/effective?

2. Do you get a good sense of the setting, or is more needed?

3. What are your impressions of Caden, and would you want to read more about him?

And finally...Do you think the content is ok for YA?

On to the diagnosis…

Original text:
Bass roared and lights flashed. The air itself seemed to vibrate to the rhythm of gyrating, jumping bodies and the deep pounding of the drum. The band was drowned out by their own music, but they were so terrible no one cared. All in all, it was a shitty joint—dirty bar, ugly girls, bad band, a stain on the floor that looked suspiciously like week-old vomit or maybe even blood. The air stank of cheap beer and sweat. Caden intended to block it all out and enjoy himself. He slipped the little white pill into his drink and downed it in three long gulps, nearly falling to the floor as he left the bar. Ty pushed him away with an annoyed “Watch it, man,” and turned back to the girl at his side.

Caden lurched into the thickest part of the dancing bodies. For a minute all he could seem to do was stumble, tripping and hopping and being buffeted by the others…and then, magically, his clumsiness disappeared and he was on the biggest high of his life, jumping and screaming to the music. This was how it always felt, like this time was the best time.

My Thoughts in Purple:
Bass roared and lights flashed. The air itself seemed to vibrate to the rhythm of gyrating, jumping bodies and the deep pounding of the drum. [The band was drowned out by their own music, but they were so terrible no one cared. All in all, it was a shitty joint—dirty bar, ugly girls, bad band, a stain on the floor that looked suspiciously like week-old vomit or maybe even blood.] I really like the voice through this, and the description of the bar. You might even consider starting this with "all in all..." and see how it flows. But I wonder who's head I'm in here. Is this the POV or the narrator thinking this? The air stank of cheap beer and sweat. [Caden intended to block it all out and enjoy himself.] This feels a little distant, like someone watching Caden not Caden thinking this himself. But this is a good spot to tweak and use internalization to place this firmly in his head (if he is indeed you narrator here) He slipped the little white pill into his drink and downed it in three long gulps, nearly falling to the floor as he left the bar. [Ty pushed him away with an annoyed “Watch it, man,” and turned back to the girl at his side.] If Ty has already been established as being there with a girl this is fine. If not, this feels a bit out of the blue.

Caden lurched into the thickest part of the dancing bodies. For a minute [all he could seem to do] This feels like someone watching, not him experiencing this. was stumble, tripping and hopping and being buffeted by the others…and then, magically, his clumsiness disappeared and he was on the biggest high of his life, jumping and screaming to the music. This was how it always felt, like this time was the best time. Good spot for some internalization here.

The questions:
1. Is the transition from setting to character smooth/effective?
This starts with setting and takes several lines to get to Caden, so I was a little ungrounded at first and wanted to know who's head I was in. But as this is a snippet 30K in, that may have been established before this starts. If readers know who is going to the bar it's fine. If not, readers could feel a little lost (folks chime in here). Something as simple as "Caden entered the bar" before the description would fix that though.

2. Do you get a good sense of the setting, or is more needed?
I liked the descriptions, especially the quick one-line summary of it, "All in all..." I don't think you need any more and established it well.

3. What are your impressions of Caden, and would you want to read more about him?
I don't know him well enough to really have an impression yet. Some of the descriptive lines read like they could be in his voice and I like those, as they had a fun attitude to them. But the lines regarding Caden are a little distant and don't let me into his head yet, so I'm not sure who my narrator is here -- Caden or an omniscient third. That detached tone keeps me at a distance, so it's harder to connect to Caden.

From a purely structural standpoint, I know he's there to party, but nothing else to make me curious about him and what he's doing. However, some of this could have been established before this scene, like if Caden or this bar was mentioned and I know how this piece fits with the rest of the story.

Caden isn't piquing my curiosity as a character yet, but what he does next might. This does have a setup feel, so I image something is about to happen. A little internalization would help make me curious about him though. Something that let me get a glimpse of who he is and what he wants, maybe show that fun attitude I saw in the narrative if that's indeed his opinion. There are some spots where you could easily add that and show a reason to be curious about this boy. Perhaps try going inside and looking out, not so much outside looking down and see how that works.

And finally...Do you think the content is ok for YA?
Most content is okay for YA, it's how you handle it that matters. How graphic you get and how far you go with it. This snippet is fine. There's nothing here I haven't read in the YA market, though some readers (and parents) will be put off by the drinking and drugs. (but that's true for the adult market as well) Kate Brian's "Private" series has a lot of partying, so you might check that out to see how she handled the subject matter. But for the "is it okay to show drinking and drugs in YA?" question, yes, it's fine.

Thanks to our brave volunteer for submitting this for me to play with. I hope they – and others – find it helpful. I don’t do a full critique on these, (just as it pertains to the questions) and I encourage you to comment and make suggestions of your own. Just remember that these pieces are works in progress, not polished drafts, so be nice and offer constructive feedback.

Double the Fun! Adverbs at The Writers Bureau, and a Chance at a 100 Page Critique

2012-01-20T12:00:00.014-05:00

Today is a busy day, with lots going on. First up is a road trip over to The Writers Bureau to discuss how adverbs aren't your enemy. They can even help your writing. No, seriously, they can, so come find out how.

Next, is a chance to bid on a 100 page manuscript critique from yours truly over at Write Dreams. This charity is raising money to help rebuild Donna’s Dream House, a holiday home for children and teenagers with life-threatening or terminal illnesses. The Dream House is run completely by volunteers and since it's start, it's hosted and helped almost 380 families.

On Wednesday, December 21, 2011, arsonists broke into the office building and adjacent health center. There they stole essential computer equipment and damaged the suite, before setting fire to the furniture. When the fire was discovered, it was almost too late. The building was so badly damaged that it may have to be rebuilt completely. Write Dreams is raising money to help do that.

There are plenty of great items to bid on, so even if you're not interested in a critique from me, head on over and see how else you might be able to help out. It's for a great cause.

The Playing's the Thing: How Computer Games Can Help You With Your Plotting

2012-01-20T06:00:00.000-05:00

I took some time off over the holidays and played a lot of computer games. I mean, a lot. Two in particular occupied my time--Skyrim and Star Wars: The Old Republic--and both incorporated storytelling techniques into their gameplay that worked as wonderful examples of common plotting problems.

Game One: Skyrim
Skyrim is the latest in a long series, and the world is as rich and defined as any novel's. It almost plays like an interactive book, because you create a character who is then put into a general storyline, and you go forth and make your own choices about how you want to exist in this world.

The general premise is you're someone with a hidden ability and destiny, who gets dumped into the middle of a civil war. There is a main storyline (the premise), but what you choose to do is up to you (the plot). How you play affects the game and the story.

The hubby went the hero route. He chose a character of the local race, joined the established government, and fought to defend the imperials from the rebels trying to destroy it, all the while using his hidden destiny (and powers) for the benefit of the imperials.

I went the other way. I chose an outsider (a lizard girl), joined the thieves guild, robed the continent blind, ended up with the assassins and eventually joined the rebels to overthrow the government. I explored my hidden destiny as a way to be able to steal more stuff and gain more power.

As you can see, two vastly different stories.

Skyrim's gameplay is a perfect example of how the protagonist drives the story. Same game, same problems, but the main character made the game (and thus the story) a very different experience. If every choice, no matter who you were, turned out the same, the hero of the story wouldn't have mattered. (a common problem with premise novels)

Who you protag is and what they do should matter to your plot. Their actions should determine what happens and why, and things should change by what they do.

Game Two: Star Wars: The Old Republic
The other game was an MMO (a massive multiplayer online game, where thousands are playing at the same time online). Same basic structure as Skyrim, in that you choose a character and are assigned tasks (quests) to a bigger storyline. SW:TOR is different in that everyone is basically going to do the same things. But how you choose to play your character is up to you.

When you talk to characters in the game (these are all done with animated sequences so you feel like you're watching a movie), you get several choices on how to respond. Usually it's the "yes sir, no sir" compliant answer, the defy authority answer, or the neutral gather info answer. Sometimes you get to choose between the dark and light side (good and evil).

I choose to play an agent in the service of the empire (the evil side). I made a few choices early on that made me realize my character didn't like the sith (the evil Jedi). She really didn't like it when they interfered in her intelligence missions.

Maybe it's just the writer in me, but I wanted to figure out this character before I continued playing her. Why did she believe in the empire but not the sith? What motivated her? I treated her same as I would one of my own characters. Understanding her would make her more fun to play. I'd get to see how her decisions affected the story.

I decided that she believed in the order and stability of the empire, but felt the sith were going about it the wrong way. So anytime she's faced with a choice, she chooses what would be best for the empire. If she gets an opportunity to mess up the sith's plans, she takes it (as long as it doesn't jeopardize the empire's mission)

There have been choices in the game that made me cringe when I clicked the option on what to do. They weren't things I would have done, and the good person in me wanted to do the right thing. But my character walks a different path than I do, and she'd never make those choices. While I might want to save the poor tortured soldiers trapped inside a mechanical body, she'd do whatever it took to ensure the empire is victorious over those rebel scum. Even if that means sending those soldiers to the empire to use as weapons.

This is a great example of how the beliefs of a character motivate that character and determine their actions. It isn't what you as the author would do, but what your character would do. What they believe in, what they feel strongly about, what they care about is what drives them and influences their choices.

Even better, sometimes those beliefs are challenged or conflicted and they have to work within and around issues they disagree with. They might even have to do something they dislike to achieve what they really want.

You can find storytelling tips and examples in the oddest of places, but there are many ways to tell a tale. Even inside a game.

Have you ever learned anything from a game? Do you create characters who make their own choices or follow the script of the plot? Does your protag have reasons for acting, and do those reasons sometimes cause them trouble?

Rhythm of the Words: Voice in Dialog

2012-01-19T06:00:00.000-05:00

Aaron Sorkin is a god when it comes to dialog. Seriously.

For those unfamiliar with the name, Sorkin is the writer and creator of such delights as "The West Wing," "Sports Night," "Studio 64," "The American President," and "A Few Good Men." Watch any of these, and you'll hear the style of his writing and how he puts words together so they hit the ear just right.

What does this have to do with writing, you ask? Everything.

One of the things agents say they look for in a query (and a book) is the author's voice. Developing your voice goes hand in hand with how you put words together and how they sound when you're done. Watch enough Sorkin, listen to enough of his characters talk, and you'll be able to peg his work when you hear it. That's voice. (Joss Wheadon is also extremely good at this)

As West Wing character Sam Seaborn would say, it's the cadence. Sentences have rhythm and the words you choose affect that rhythm. That's why leaving in an adverb might be better for the sentence than taking it out, or using an "he said as..." tag works better than just showing the action. The flow of the words matter more than the grammar of them.

Grab a few of your favorite books off the shelf. Go ahead, I'll wait.

Back? Okies, now, randomly pick a page, and read a few paragraphs out loud. Listen to the words, the structure, the rhythm of the sentences. Now look at your own work, and do the same thing. What does your voice sound like? Do you hear a rhythm that is uniquely yours, or does it sound general or -- eek -- even bland?

If you like what you hear, celebrate, because you have that all important voice. If you don't like it, then think about what you can do to develop your voice. Look at your word choices and see if you're letting the technical aspects of writing get in the way of the cadence, the rhythm, and the sound. "Perfect" writing can sound flat, while an odd combination of words can evoke emotions.

A story is so much more than just listing things that happen. This is why a lot of description can feel list-like -- it is a list of things. Study your sentences to see if they all have the same rhythm and length. Read them out loud (the best way to hear it). Do they all have the same structure? For example...

"She's not here," Bob said, crossing his arms. "I haven't seen her since we encountered those six zombies in Tulsa." He stared at the man holding the gun."Did you look for her at the factory?" The man was an idiot.

Hear that flatness? The clunky way the sentences flow (or don't flow) together? Details are stuck in there more for the reader's benefit than like real people speaking. Kinda boring right? Now try the same details, but vary the length and structure, and toss in some of your POV's personality.

"She's not here." Bob crossed his arms and stared at the jerk holding the gun. Idiot. "Haven't seen her since we gave the slip to a sick-pack of walking dead over in Tulsa. Did you try there?"

Better right? That's what voice and rhythm can do for you. Like music, it pulls you through the story and makes you hum along.

There are only so many stories in the world, but how you choose to tell that story is what makes you stand out. Don't just focus on what your words say -- listen to how they sound as well.

Do you read your work out loud? Do you edit (or write) for rhythm? How often do you notice the rhythm of another writer's work? Does it stand out?

It's Alive! Poking Dead Scenes With A Stick, Part Two

2012-01-18T06:00:00.000-05:00

Last week we talked about getting rid of scenes that weren't working for you, so today, let's talk about bringing a dead scene back to life.

If you've decided to keep a dead scene, then there's something about that scene that matters to the story and can't be moved any other place. Or, you just really love it and want to find a way to make it work. Either way, the solution is the same.

Make that scene do more things for the story.

Yeah, I know, easy to say, hard to do. But here are some things you can try:

1. Analyze the scene

What is your protag doing?
Where does this scene take place (setting)?
Who else is in the scene?
Where structurally does this scene take place (act one, midpoint, act two, etc)?
What happens right before this scene?
What happens right after this scene?
What's your theme?
What are the stakes?

2. Look for ways to add more layers to the scene.
Using your answers to the above questions, ask yourself...

What is your protag doing?
How might their actions affect another aspect of the story? Can this make something worse? Be the result of a prior mistake? Can they be conflicted over this action in any way? Look for ways to connect what they're doing back to something else so this action has a greater affect of the story in some way. Can this action affect the internal conflict? Illustrated a weakness or flaw?

Where does this scene take place (setting)?
Can the setting be changed to make what's happening more interesting? Is there anything inherently dangerous or troublesome about the setting that can affect what's going on in the scene? Can the setting reflect your theme? Can it help characterize some aspect of your protag or another character? Can it provide any foreshadowing? (characters use a skill here they'll need later on, or make a mistake that aids them in making a future right choice)

Who else is in the scene?
Is there anything a secondary character can do to affect the plot, internal conflict, or character arc of the protag? Is this a good spot to deepen a secondary character? Can a secondary character have a conflicting opinion about what's going on to provide more conflict and tension? Can you add another character and bring in another layer? Take out a character to change the dynamic?

Where structurally does this scene take place (act one, midpoint, act two, etc)?
Are there any details than can be added to this scene to lay groundwork for a future scene? Are there any earlier scenes that suggested a possible danger that could occur in this scene? Can this scene make a major plot point worse?

What happens right before this scene?
Is there anything that can be continued into the dead scene? Any problems or comments that can be expanded on?

What happens right after this scene?
Is there anything that can be foreshadowed by the actions in the dead scene? Is there a choice that can be affected in a negative way? A positive way? Are there any characters that can be seen or introduced earlier?

What's your theme?
Are there any ways your theme can be explored or illustrated by what's happening in this scene? Can the protag have an epiphany regarding the theme or their problems? Can they have a setback? Can this scene illustrate the flaw the protag has to overcome?

What are the stakes?
Can the stakes be made higher? More personal? Can they cause trouble elsewhere in the story? Can actions here make the stakes in another scene more dire?

Not everything here will apply to all scenes of course, but if you can find two or three things that your dead scene can do, you can probably salvage it. Look especially at the smaller, throwaway comments made throughout the book. I've often found a small detail that worked as a foreshadowing moment and could be developed into more later. If the larger pieces of the story aren't helping, don't be afraid to look at the smaller ones. You might just find your missing piece to bring that scene back to life.

What scenes are you struggling with right now?

Guest Author Diana Nadin: 10 Top Tips for a Successful Author Talk

2012-01-17T06:00:00.004-05:00

Today I'd like to welcome Diana Nadin to the blog to talk with us about author's talking. As someone who used to faint any time I had to gave an oral report in school, this was something I struggled with when I published my first book. I still get nervous, but it's now something I can do and even have fun doing. Diana's tips are dead on, and I wish I'd had them three years ago. Especially #9.

Diana has been Director of Studies at the Writers Bureau – the UK’s largest specialist writing college – for the past 20 years. Her job is to make sure that courses are up-to-date; tutors are professional, well trained and empathetic and that students are given the help they need to take their writing skills to the next level. Her weekly blog is at www.writersbureau.com/blog.

Take it away Diana...

If you’re new to standing up in front of people and talking about your book, it can be a daunting experience. But it does get better with practice (honest!) and here are some tips that can help you feel at ease right from the start.

1. Try to visit the library, bookshop, or wherever you are speaking, before the event so that you get a feel for the space and layout. If this isn’t possible, ensure you arrive with plenty of time to spare so that you can check it out.

2. Always plan your talk carefully and practice at home beforehand. The better your preparation, the less chance there will be of something going wrong – so never skimp on this.

3. Learn some breathing techniques so that you remain calm before you start speaking and also so that you project your voice with ease.

4. Speak slowly and clearly – but not so slowly that your audience falls asleep. If possible, during the practice stage, record yourself so that you can listen critically to how you sound.

5. Ensure that you make eye-contact with your audience. Even if you are reading from your book, pause occasionally and look up to make eye contact.

6. It’s important that you include something interesting – or humorous – early on so that you really get your listeners’ attention.

7. Most people haven’t just come to hear you read from your book – they can buy a copy and take it away to read. They are more interested in hearing anecdotes about you and your life, or the writing process.

8. Make sure you tailor your talk to the venue where you are speaking. If you write romantic fiction with plenty of steamy action, it’s probably best not to read out the more erotic bits if you have been asked to speak at a library on a Saturday afternoon and there are children about!

9. If you intend to have a question and answer session at the end it may be helpful to have an anonymous friend with you who is briefed with some query to get the ball rolling. There’s nothing more embarrassing than being met by silence when you ask if there are any questions.

10. And finally, make sure that there are enough copies of your book on hand for people to buy – don’t pass up any opportunity to sell your work!

Have You Met Ted? Introducing Characters

2012-01-16T06:00:00.000-05:00

Writing is a creative endeavor, but a lot of it is the technical aspect of controlling when and where information is supplied to the reader. Throw too much at them and they're overwhelmed, too little and they're lost. The same goes for introducing characters. How do you know when (and where) to shove a character onto the page?

Different level characters will have different entry points, but they'll all show up at the same thematic time: When they start affecting the story.

Main Characters
Main characters are easy. They're the first character introduced since they're the one telling the tale. You'll meet them within the first few lines, even if you might not name them for a while (if it's first person).

If you have a multiple POV (point of view) story, the other main characters will arrive when their part of the story becomes the main focus. Sometimes this is the next chapter, sometimes this is a quarter of the way through the book when the novel changes parts. Wherever their story starts. A word of warning here: spending two hundred pages in one POV and then suddenly changing to another can be jarring to the reader, so if you have multiple POVs, consider carefully how and where you switch. If the story changes focus later on, clear breaks like "part two" can help differentiate the sections and make the transition less jarring.

Secondary Characters
These guys can come in at any time, though you usually see them early on in the book. You don't typically introduce new characters at the end of the story that play a larger role. It can feel like someone swooped in out of the blue, a little deus ex machina. Things to consider:

When is the first interaction between the character and your protag?
When does your protag first become aware of them?
When do their actions first affect the protag?
When do their actions first affect the plot or story?
When might their arrive mess up the protag's plans? The antag's plan?
When might their arrive be just what the protag needs? (be careful with this one so it doesn't feel contrived)

They key element here is affect. If the character shows up and nothing changes, then they might not need to be there just yet. They should have some affect on what's going on, even if it's minor. They play a role in the scene, affect the plot, influence something. If you took them out, and nothing changes, maybe rethink where you introduce them.

Introducing a Character Without "Introducing a Character"
Here's a great trick if you have a lot of characters to introduce, or some that don't really do anything until later in the story.

Have other characters mention them.

If Miguel is an important part of the story, but he doesn't actually affect the story until halfway through the book, introducing him and spending page time early on can make readers wonder why he's there. But if you have your characters talk about him, even if in off-hand way, it puts Miguel in the reader's mind and when he shows up later, he won't feel out of the blue. Think of it as foreshadowing for characters.

This is especially true for bad guys. Antagonists play an important role, but they don't always spend a lot of time in the spotlight. But they'll be someone the protag talks about, and is actively acting against. Odds are you'll be talking about them long before the reader ever meets them.

Give Readers Time to Absorb Who's in the Room
Readers can only take in so much at a time, so be wary of throwing too many people at them too fast if you want them to remember who they are. How much time you spend on an character will also signal who's important. Walk-on roles that get a page of description and consideration by the protag practically flash "remember me" at them. If that character is never seen again, readers can wonder why and might even think they missed something or that there's a loose end. They'll expect that character to play a bigger role since the author drew focus to them.

Conversely, spending too much time on a minor character that becomes important later (or one that holds the key to a problem) can telegraph what you plan to do and give it all away. Think about all the times you've seen/read something that was clearly a plant that was going to come back and be the thing that saves the day in the climax. Make sure whatever a character does in a scene matters to that scene so it feels like it belongs, it's not just a preview. If those details will also matter later, so much the better.

Roll Call Introductions
It's not uncommon to see a bunch of folks and have the protag mentions them all at once. Say at a meeting or in a classroom. People do tend to form groups. Not noticing people you know might feel odd to the reader, even if they don't care who those people are and they play no role in the story. But you can acknowledge they're there without naming them.

Jane was sitting with her cronies from work. (people are there, but it doesn't matter who they are)

Zachary ignored the stares of the Debbies. (noticing them, but making it clear they aren't folks readers need to remember)

It can be tempting to try to get everyone in at once, but until there's a reason for the reader to care who this character is, there's no reason to bring them out. Just like backstory or infodumping, introduce characters when they start affecting the story, wherever that may be.

How do you introduce your characters? Do you bring them out early on, all at once, or spoon-feed the reader with them over multiple characters?

Real Life Diagnostics: Where Am I? Starting Off in Unfamiliar Territory

2012-01-14T07:04:00.000-05:00

This is the first chapter. The MC is alone so the only dialogue is with herself. Does this work?

On to the diagnosis…

Original text:
Lola
“Where am I?”

I jerk up and rub my eyes. All I can see are large and curvy shadows.

“What . . .?” My hand brushes the wall feeling bumpiness. I don’t remember this.

“Mum! Come here!”

Silence.

“I need you!”

More silence.

A small and familiar alarm starts going off in my head, followed by a longing for something lost. I grab the blanket covering my body and squeeze it between my fingers.

“It’s smooth, this is not a blanket.”

My hearts starts thumping wildly as I stare in space trying to interpret what the objects mean. It is black dark in the room but I can make out that there is a window on the side. I walk up to it and catch a woman staring back. The woman is the same size as me. Maybe this is Mum. Mum and I wear the same size. Pulling my hair behind my ears I call, “Mum, help me get out of here.”

The woman copies my movements, the pulling of the hair behind the ears and the opening of the mouth to speak. The small alarm turns into a siren.

“What are you doing? Mum?”

She always answered straight away. “Come in my love,” is what she would say. “It’s a cold night. Where is your cardi?”

This woman says nothing.

My Thoughts in Purple:
Lola
“Where am I?”

I jerk up and rub my eyes. All I can see are large and curvy shadows.

“What . . .?” My hand brushes the wall feeling bumpiness. I don’t remember this.

“Mum! Come here!”

Silence.

“I need you!”

More silence.

A small and familiar alarm starts going off in my head, followed by a longing for something lost. I grab the blanket covering my body and squeeze it between my fingers.

[“It’s smooth, this is not a blanket.”] Her speaking out loud here doesn't feel natural to me. But this is a great spot for some internalization. She can think about how this isn't her blanket and then start wondering what's going on.

My hearts starts thumping wildly as I stare in space [trying to interpret what the objects mean.] This is another good spot for internalization, so perhaps show her trying to do this. It is black dark in the room but I can make out that there is a window on the side. I walk up to it and catch a woman staring back. The woman is the same size as me. Maybe this is Mum. Mum and I wear the same size. Pulling my hair behind my ears I call, “Mum, help me get out of here.”

The woman copies my movements, the pulling of the hair behind the ears and the opening of the mouth to speak. The small alarm turns into a siren.

[“What are you doing? Mum?”] This doesn't feel plausible to me, because it's clear she's staring at her own reflection, and her not realizing that seems off. If this really is someone mimicking her, perhaps give some hint that it isn't her reflection since that's the most obvious assumption.

She always answered straight away. [“Come in my love,” is what she would say. “It’s a cold night. Where is your cardi?”] This seems an odd response to "what are you doing?", which is the question the narrator asks. This is a good spot for her to realize more about her situation. I suspect her not realizing she's looking at herself could be trying to show she's confused and disoriented, and if that's the case, a little internalization to show that would help clarify what's really going on.

This woman says nothing.

The question:
This is the first chapter. The MC is alone so the only dialogue is with herself. Does this work?
The dialog in the beginning works fine and feels natural, as people call out to other people. Later it starts to feel false because people don't usually speak that way.

As for the snippet itself, there are things about it I find compelling. A girl waking up in what appears to be an observation room (like the interrogation rooms you see on cop shows, but with a bed), indication that something is clearly wrong here, and this girl is in trouble somehow. These details are intriguing.

However, it's not quite grabbing me yet because it's a little detached for me. Even though it's in first person, there's no internalization from the narrator to let me know what she's thinking or how she feels. It's all description. What the room looks like, how her body is reacting, what she does. I don't yet get a sense of who she is and why I should care about her and this problem.

She doesn't know where she is, but neither do I. Which isn't bad per se, but I have no context to help me figure this out so I feel ungrounded in the story. Instead of wondering, "ooo what's happened to her?" I'm trying to figure out what's going on in the scne. It's a subtle difference, but an important one.

Adding a few lines to get into her head would fix this, and probably up the tension as well. We'll see what she's afraid of, what she thinks is happening, how this is making her feel on an emotional level, not just a physical one.We'll have context to ground us in her head and world, and understand where she's coming from here. Is this normal for her? Unusual? Has she heard of this happening and she knows what's going on, or is this something utterly foreign to her?

Overall, it's close, and I think adding that emotional layer will really pull the reader in the way you want.

Thanks to our brave volunteer for submitting this for me to play with. I hope they – and others – find it helpful. I don’t do a full critique on these, (just as it pertains to the questions) and I encourage you to comment and make suggestions of your own. Just remember that these pieces are works in progress, not polished drafts, so be nice and offer constructive feedback.

Query First? The Query as a Plotting Tool

2012-01-13T06:00:00.000-05:00

Most writers know that after they've written their novel it's time to write their query. But I've found that writing the query before you start the novel is a great way to make sure you have the core elements needed for a solid story.

For those I just sent into sheer panic, never fear -grin-. I'm not talking about an agent-worthy query. Just something that sounds halfway decent and nails your protagonist, antagonist, inciting event, story goal, conflict, stakes, and how they win. Because if you can't specify those seven things before you start your novel, you're very likely going to run into problems at the halfway mark, if not sooner.

Why?

Because something needs to be driving your protagonist, and thus drive your story. That's the story goal. This is the big bad problem your novel is about. For The Shifter, it's Nya's need to save her missing sister. So to win the story goal, Nya needs to save her sister. Tons more stuff happens besides that, but that's the driving force behind everything that occurs in the novel. It's also where the stakes comes from. If Nya fails, her sister will die.

Uncertainty about the stakes is often where a lot of novel ideas fall flat. (And why they stall in the middle) You have a great premise, a solid inciting event, great characters, but you haven't figured out why all this matters yet and what will happen if your protag fails. Because of that, once you get past the opening events, you're not sure where the story goes. Nothing is at stake for your protag to fill the middle and give them hurdles to overcome to win.

Not knowing what constitutes a win is also a problem area that can stall you. A lot of writers like to see how the story turns out organically, and that's fine, but you should have an inkling of what "win" means. They face some problem and have to solve in in some way, even if it's vague. "Stop the bad guy from doing what he was doing" was mine (though I actually had a name and what he was doing in there, but that would give away the book).

For example, Bob's goal is to survive the zombies and find a way to be with Jane that doesn't involve him letting his wife, Sally, die. A win for him might be "live happily ever after with Jane." We don't need to know more than that at this time, be we know that he needs to act in ways throughout the novel to bring about that resolution. That's part of the core conflict -- the love triangle.

Let's break it down and write a query for Bob and the Zombies to make sure I have all the pieces needed for a solid story.

Protagonist: Bob

Antagonist: Sally

Inciting event: Zombies crash through the front window one morning

Story goal: Survive the zombies and find a way to be with Jane that doesn't involve him letting his wife, Sally, die

Conflict: Bob wants to leave Sally for Jane, but he needs Sally to find Jane and survive

Stakes: The lives of Bob, Jane, and Sally

How they win: Bob gets rid of Sally and lives happily ever after with Jane

Not a bad start. Chances are, your inciting event will be more fleshed out, since how the book starts is probably clear in your mind. So lets add a nice conflict there that's integral to the story.

Inciting event: Zombies crash through the front window one morning, just before Bob tells Sally he wants a divorce.

A query for this novel might look like...

Bob knew asking his wife Sally for a divorce would be hard, but he never expected zombies to crash through the front window before he could say more than, "Hon, we need to talk." Now he's running for his life with Sally instead of running to his new life with Jane, like he'd planned.

But Bob isn't giving up on happily ever after. He just needs to figure out a way to convince Sally that going to save Jane is best for all of them. Especially since Sally's long-standing membership with the NRA is coming in so handy, and without her guns and ammo, Bob would wind up as an appetizer long before he got to Jane's house. Of course, if Sally finds out he's leaving her, she might do worse to him than eat his brains.

Okay, this isn't going to win any awards or anything, but for a starter query it gets the gist of the novel across. I know where my conflicts are coming from, who my players are, and what they all have to do. The story will evolve as I write it, and when I'm done, I can either toss this aside and start fresh, or use this as a jumping off point to write my real query.

What's valuable about this starter query, is that you have total freedom to write whatever pops into your head, so it's a easy way to think up conflicts and stakes. I just now made up the NRA stuff, and the fact that Sally is the one with the survival skills Bob needs to save Jane. That all came about because I thought, "gee, what conflict could we do here?"

Of course, now I have to write Love in the Zombie Apocalypse. I mean, I have a query now, right? I might as well use it.

Hey, Still With Me? Poking Dead Scenes With A Stick, Part One

2012-01-11T06:00:00.000-05:00

Revisions aren't for weaklings. They're hard, they take commitment, and sometimes you have to make the tough call. One such call is deciding the fate of a scene that isn't pulling its weight. It's not advancing the plot or story, and you know there's a problem with it. Do you cut it or try to save it? Today, let's look at those scenes that gotta go.

When you have a dead scene, ask yourself: If I cut this scene, would anyone but me care or even notice?

If the answer is no, cut the scene. Go ahead and move it to a new file called "cut scenes" and save in case you need it later if you'd like. Be ruthless, the story will be better for it.

If the answer is yes, then odds are there's something in the scene that either appeals to you (a darling) or conveys vital story information. Cutting the scene will cut that detail and cause problems to the overall story. Trouble is, the scene itself isn't working as a whole and causing problems anyway. So perhaps save the information, but cut the actual scene.

Try pinpointing why this scene would be missed, and write it down. Cut and paste those important bits into a new file if possible so you know exactly what you have and are trying to salvage. If you're just not sure, go line by line and think, "Can I cut this?" and cut everything where the answer is yes. It'll be choppy but that's okay. The goal is to save what's vital and find another home for it.

Most often, the things on this list are:

A well-written line we just love.
A bit of character history or motivation we think is cool or important to know.
Something that was once important to the plot, but no longer is.
A cool description or world building moment.

Now look at each item.

If it's a well-written line, you probably have to cut it. I know, we don't want to, but it's called "Killing Your Darlings" for a reason. Many a writer (myself included) has forced an entire scene just to get one kick-ass line in there. You know those movies and TV shows where there's a big buildup to a joke, and you think, "Wow, they really worked hard for that one." And then the joke isn't nearly as funny as all the work it took to get there. This is the writer's equivalent.

If it's a bit of history or motivation, look to see where else in the book this bit could go. You might have to tweak it a little to fit, but odds are it could easily slide into a scene that's already working. Look for similar context. If the history is about your protag's childhood, where else do they think about children or growing up? If it's a bad memory, are there any scenes where remembering this would make it harder for them to deal with what's happening? For motivation, where else are they acting based on this same motivation? Are there any spots that could be deepened if this bit was the motivating factor?

If it's something that was once important, determine if it's still important or not. Was this an idea you went with for a while, but a better one showed up three chapters later and you built the rest of the story on that? Can this idea be woven into something else? Are there any other places where this idea would deeper the conflict or stakes? And the hard one...is this an idea you really like, but doesn't fit the story anymore?

If it's description or world-building, again, look for other places it can go. Does it evoke a certain mood that you can use to enhance another scene? Is there a perfect spot where the world-building info can be illustrated and not explained? Or a better place to show it if it is indeed shown well.

Some items on your list might need tweaking to fit elsewhere and that's okay. Sometimes, just breaking them down and looking for other places to put them is enough to make you realize what you have works fine, and it's just too much effort for too little gain to put those bits back in. Getting it out of the story makes you realize you don't need it at all.

Next Wednesday, we'll look at how to bring life back into dead scenes.

Are there any dead scenes in your current WIP? How ruthless are you with them? Is it easy to cut or hard to kill? What's keeping you from cutting a scene you fear (or know) isn't working?

Guest Author Holly Cupala: Finding the Emotional Juice

2012-01-10T06:00:00.000-05:00

I'd like to welcome YA author Holly Cupala back to the blog. Her new novel Don't Breathe a Word releases today, and the reviews on this one have been gushing. (How often do you get compared to Laurie Halse Anderson's Speak?) She doesn't shy away from the hard subjects, and she's here to tell us how she digs deep and finds the words to tell such powerful tales.

Holly wrote teen romance novels before she ever actually experienced teen romance. When she did, it became all about tragic poetry and slightly less tragic novels. She has worked with the Western Washington chapter of the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators, been a readergirlz diva, and now serves on the board of the University of Washington Writing Program. When she isn't writing and making art, she spends time with her husband and daughter in Seattle, Washington. These days, her writing is less about tragedy and more about hope.

Tell Me a Secret is her first novel, and her second, Don't Breathe a Word, is coming October 2011 from HarperCollins. Ten percent of the author's proceeds go toward World Vision's Hope for Sexually Exploited Girls. You can find her at www.hollycupala.com, www.dontbreatheaword.com. For a two chapter sneak preview: http://www.dontbreatheaword.com/dbaw-preview.pdf

Take it away Holly...

With a second YA novel on the shelves and a third in progress, I feel like I should know what I’m doing by now—or at least be able to anticipate some kind of pattern. And sure, I have my own rhythms. Idea notebooksare a necessity. I abhor journaling. A timer is very handy for outrunning the internal critic, especially in the first draft.

After that, there are no rules. I keep trying to discover them, to figure out how to make this process more…easy. Emotionally safe. Less like excavating my deepest reserves and more like…I don’t know, skiing. Skiing is fun and exciting and fast-moving. It requires skill and time, but it doesn’t require ripping your heart out.

I thought I’d gotten this down when writing my second novel, Don't Breathe a Word, about a girl who runs away from home because of a secretly abusive relationship and winds up on the streets of Seattle, where she finds allies with secrets of their own (January 2012, HarperCollins).

The first novel, Tell Me a Secret, was emotionally gut-wrenching to write. It came out of a personal loss that required a careful walk through grief, while at the same time I had to battle all of the voices (most of them coming from myself) that viciously barred my progress, word by word.

The second novel came so much easier—by then I’d discovered I could tell the voices to shove it, and I had my handy timer. I’ve joked that Tell Me a Secret took four years, Don't Breathe a Word took four months, and I hoped this next novel would take four weeks (which it sort of did, minus an ending).

Those four months it took to write Don't Breathe a Word were exhilarating. I loved those characters! I could hardly type fast enough toget their story on the page. It had grit. It had meaning. I fixed it up and proudly gave it to my husband, my first reader and unfortunately a good one, who said, “Ok…so this boyfriend? He’s a jerk, but he’s not abusive. I don’t get why she’s running away.”

Obviously, he had no idea what he was talking about, so I gave it to three wise and intuitive writer friends…who said the same thing.

By this time, I was ready to put everyone in the Shut Up Box and gave it to my Agent. And…ok, you know what happened. (Husband loves this story, by the way!)

With Tell Me a Secret, the emotional backstory—the juice—was never an issue. I was living it, or I had taken the depth and breadth of my emotional experiences and drew from them to create Miranda’s story of loss, teen pregnancy, and redemption. The hardest part was putting those ideas and emotions into a moving plot.

Don't Breathe a Word was almost the opposite—I had the story, I had conflicted characters and a plot that screamed through the streets. But those weren’t enough. I had to dig deeper to find that emotional juice.

What I realized was that I did have the emotional experience. Cruel, seductive Asher had come from my own life. Of course I didn’t want to go there, but I had to. I had to in order to tell Joy’s story. And I wrote about that relationship in Dear Bully: 70 Authors Tell Their Stories.

So now I have another bit of personal truth in my writer arsenal: there are no emotional shortcuts, not if I want to write a story as honestly as I can. Maybe that knowledge freed me to draft this third novel in record time—and it’s likely the experience of writing this one will uncover another essential tool. I’d give anything to know it now...but that would be too easy, wouldn’t it?

About Don't Breathe a Word

Joy Delamere is suffocating...

From asthma, which has nearly claimed her life. From her parents, who will do anything to keep that from happening. From delectably dangerous Asher, who is smothering her from the inside out.

Joy can take his words—tender words, cruel words—until the night they go too far.

Now, Joy will leave everything behind to find the one who has offered his help, a homeless boy called Creed. She will become someone else. She will learn to survive. She will breathe…if only she can get to Creed before it’s too late.

The Line Forms Where? Knowing Where to Start Your Novel

2012-01-09T08:56:00.000-05:00

Openings are critical to get someone to read your book, but how do you know where to start? The old "start with the action" has frustrated many a writer due to its ambiguity, and even when you think you've done it all correctly beta readers can still feel that opening isn't grabbing them. The sheer amount of "is this opening working?" submissions I get in Real Life Diagnostics is testament to that. Openings are hard, especially if you're not sure if you're starting in the right place.

I've talked about first lines and first pages before, so today, let's focus on figuring out where to start your story, and how to diagnose it if you're worried you're starting in the wrong place.

First, analyze your current opening, either the first scene or the first chapter if it's only one scene:

Describe how the story opens in the first few pages:
You want to hit the basic overview to determine what you're writing about. If you start with description, internalization, action etc. For example, if I described The Shifter, I'd say it opens with Nya musing on the difficulty of stealing eggs vs. chickens, then getting caught stealing those eggs.

State the goal in the opening scene:
Even though this scene may not have anything to do with your core conflict, your protag is trying to do something. For Nya, her goal is: Steal eggs for breakfast.

State your stakes:
No matter how small the goal, there's a consequence in failing. That's what makes us want to keep reading. For Nya, it's getting caught stealing eggs.

Describe in one paragraph or less what happens next, up until the last page or two:
Keep it short to force yourself to really look at what's going on in that scene. For Nya, it's that she tries to talk her way out of the egg theft. She can't, so she runs for it. During her escape she's forced to use her pain shifting ability to get away.

Describe how the first scene or chapter ends:
Look at the event that's going to transition into the next scene or chapter. The "oh no" moment that will hook the reader. For Nya, it was that she got caught shifting pain by people who would definitely expose her secret.

Now that you know the pieces of your own opening, step back and look at the story as a whole:

1. What is the core conflict of your novel?
This may seem like a strange question to ask about a beginning, but the beginning is all about getting your protagonist to this core conflict. If you don't know where they're going, it's harder to know where they start that journey. It's okay to do both the internal and external conflicts here if you want. For The Shifter, it's Nya trying to save her missing sister, and having to decide how far she's willing to go to do that.

2. When is the first moment where something happens to bring your protag into this core conflict? (your inciting event)
It can be small, and it can be something they don't even know connects to it yet, but there's a moment where if they turned left instead of right, they never would have had this thing happen to them. That moment when they chose or acted in a way that sets them on the plot path. For The Shifter, it's when Nya gets caught using her shifting ability.

3. What's happening when they trigger that moment when they step onto the plot path?
Stories typically start "in the real world" of your protag's life, so odds are your protag will be doing something normal that somehow doesn't go as it usually does. What normal part of their life are they doing when this big plot path moment occurs? In The Shifter, Nya is stealing food to survive.

4. How does this event connect to your core conflict?
There's a reason this moment puts your protag on that plot path. You can draw out a step by step list that shows how this event leads to the end of the book. What is that reason? In The Shifter, shifting pain exposes Nya to the two power groups of the city who want to use her and her abilities, and are the very people involved in her sister's disappearance.

Next, look at your opening analysis:

Is your opening the same as #2?
YES: Odds are you're starting in the right place.

NO: Odds are you're starting too early or too late in the story, so it's either dragging before it gets started, or starting so fast readers feel lost and can't connect to the protag to care about what's happening. (even if it's exciting).

If no...

Try rewriting the opening scene so it reflects the events in #2.
If this scene happens later is the story, consider starting the book there, even if you have to cut. (that info can always be moved)

If yes, but something still not working...

Look back at your opening analysis.
Is there anything there you didn't answer, or answered weakly? If so, this is the likely problem. If everything looks good but something is still off, look at...

The first few pages:
What is your protag doing on page one? Are they active in some way or is it more description or narrative that sets the scene? Trying making them active. Let them do something.

Opening scene goal:
Is this goal apparent from the first page, or is it a goal that actually appears later in the scene or chapter? Sometimes the protag is doing something unrelated at the start to set the scene, then the story gives them something to do several pages in, delaying the actual start of the book. Try putting the goal in right from the start and have it clear what the protag is doing.

Opening scene stakes:
Even if it's clear what your protag is doing, if no one cares if they succeed or not it's not very interesting. Are your stakes worth worrying about? Even a mundane scene can have meaningful stakes if the protag cares enough about the outcome. Not buying milk when you know it'll cause a huge fight with your spouse matters, even if it's just about milk. Stopping off for a latte that has no repercussions at all doesn't give readers a reason to stick around.

The middle:
If you've hooked readers with your opening pages, are you following through with that promise? Just because you hooked them doesn't mean you can now step back and do all that description, backstory, and infodumping you cut out of the first few pages. You want to build off that hook and really make the reader invest in your characters and their story. Ask yourself...

Does the chapter feel like it's going somewhere?
Is there a mystery or story question the reader wants to see answered?
Is there a suggestion that something is going to go wrong?
Is there humor or examples of your protag exhibiting likable or interesting qualities?
Do the stakes escalate?
Does this middle connect the opening goal with the core conflict "first step on the path" goal?

The last few pages:
The end of a scene is the payoff for reading that scene. Is the final hook something that the scene or chapter has been building toward? This is often the culprit is a "something's off" opening that starts where it should. The event is right, but the author is unsure how to get the protag from their day to day life to that plot event. You might consider looking at when your protag encounters that event, and seeing if they got there by their own actions or if it suddenly happened to them.

Things do happen unexpectedly, and some stories are about the protag getting a call that changes their whole world. If this is the case in your story, think about that opening and how the protag's day to day life lays the groundwork for that big unexpected moment. If things change, perhaps contrast the life to the change. Pick a goal that will be the most affected by that surprise so the unexpected does more than just pop up unexpectedly.

Openings can be ambiguous, and in some stories it's hard to know exactly where they start. But the closer you begin to the moment when things change for your protag, the faster you can get to the good stuff.

Have you ever struggled with where to start? If so, did you start too soon or too late? Or totally in the wrong place? How long did it take you to find the right spot? Did you find the right spot?

Real Life Diagnostics: Double Duty: Pros and Cons of Multiple First Person

2012-01-07T09:01:00.000-05:00

The novel is a YA paranormal story told from the alternating perspectives of the two main characters, Mariella and Hudson. Mariella hasn't spoken a word in four years and Hudson has just survived a trial that has destroyed many who went before him. The story begins before they have met each other and follows them through one dangerous week and its aftermath.

I have several questions which may or may not be answerable in the section of writing provided:
1) Does Mariella's chapter work or is it too vague?
2) Does simply placing the character's names at the beginning of their chapters make the transition clear?
3) Does the section compel you to read more?
4) Pros-Cons of double narratives? I've heard a lot of talk on both sides of the fence. From what you see here, do you think the dual first person narration might work?

On to the diagnosis…

Original text:
Mariella
Sleeping is the best part of my day. Everything goes slowly downhill from there. Waking up, searching for new music, faking my way through school, studying useless information for hours, suffering through dinner. The only thing I look forward is the buildup of anticipation before it’s finally time to go to sleep.

Can you imagine living like that? What kind of life that would be? I can tell you right now.

It’s no life at all.

That’s why I’m trying so hard to make sure I spend the rest of my life asleep. Who wouldn’t if they had a choice between paradise and Swallow’s Grove?

Hudson
I saw my mom at the grocery store this morning. In most people’s lives, this wouldn’t be a story that goes beyond that sentence. That’s it. I saw my mom at the grocery store this morning. The End. That, however, is not my life.

In my life, this event is much, much more complicated.

Horace forgot that we were almost out of food, so he asked me to make a run for necessities. I don’t think twice about this because A) I don’t really have the right to refuse Horace such a simple request and B) it’s the grocery store. What can happen? I grab a cart at the door and start coasting through the aisles, automatically pulling our usual staples off the shelves as I pass. The normality of it, the routine of the actions, lulls me into complacence; I don’t see the danger until it’s too late.

It’s the hair-raising tingle that alerts me first. My head snaps up and some inner sense I’ve always had immediately locks on to the watcher. I almost drop the glass jar of spaghetti sauce in my hand when my gaze meets my mom’s.

My Thoughts in Purple:
Mariella
Sleeping is the best part of my day. Everything goes slowly downhill from there. Waking up, searching for new music, faking my way through school, studying useless information for hours, suffering through dinner. [The only thing I look forward is the buildup of anticipation before it’s finally time to go to sleep.] Intriguing.

[Can you imagine living like that? What kind of life that would be? I can tell you right now.

It’s no life at all.] Personal issue, but talking directly to the reader here pulls me out of the story. Feels stronger to me to go right to the plan to spend the rest of her life asleep. Readers chime in about this.

That’s why I’m trying so hard to make sure I spend the rest of my life asleep. Who wouldn’t if they had a choice between [paradise and Swallow’s Grove?] Very intrigued by why sleep is paradise and what's wrong with the Grove.

Hudson
I saw my mom at the grocery store this morning. In most people’s lives, this wouldn’t be a story that goes beyond that sentence. That’s it. I saw my mom at the grocery store this morning. The End. That, however, is not my life.

In my life, this event is much, much more complicated.

Horace forgot that we were almost out of food, so he asked me to make a run for necessities. I [don’t] didn't since this is past tense think twice about this because [A) I don’t really have the right to refuse Horace such a simple request] Makes me wonder what Horace does that he feels indebted to him and B) [it’s the grocery store. What can happen?] Makes me wonder why he's worried about what will happen I grab a cart at the door and start coasting through the aisles, automatically pulling our usual staples off the shelves as I pass. The normality of it, the routine of the actions, lulls me into complacence; [I don’t see the danger until it’s too late.] Quick general comment since this is a great example of something: In a first person POV, a phrase like this would normally be telling, since he can't know what he doesn't see, but this is him telling a story about what happened this morning, so he does know.

It’s the hair-raising tingle that alerts me first. My head snaps up and [some inner sense I’ve always had] Makes me wonder if this is something supernatural or just sharp instincts immediately locks on to the watcher. I almost drop the glass jar of spaghetti sauce in my hand when my gaze meets my mom’s.

The questions:
1) Does Mariella's chapter work or is it too vague?
I was intrigued by the end of it, and I like the voice in it. I don't yet know what's going on, but I suspect the cover copy would provide enough context for it. It's quite short, so it could be jarring to go from person to person with a really short chapter. You don't always get enough info to be drawn in before it's gone. However, Beth Revis does it in Across the Universe, and it worked fine there. She mixes it with other longer chapters.

I'm actually a bit torn on this one. I like it, and want to know why being asleep is better. I want to know what the deal is here, as I suspect it's a dystopian future (and I love those). I think it's going to depend on what readers know when they open the book. If they already know she prefers to stay asleep and there's no mystery there, this might not hook as well. It'll be known information. But if they don't, it will probably work to pique their interest. (readers chime in here) I want to know more about this girl and why she prefers sleep.

2) Does simply placing the character's names at the beginning of their chapters make the transition clear?
Yes, if you start each chapter as you normally would. Title halfway down the page, etc. If you treated them like scenes and went name to name, that might be a little hard to follow if they're all this short. Could be easy to miss a name and a transition.

3) Does the section compel you to read more?
Yes. I want to know why she prefers sleep, and why it's dangerous for Hudson to see his mother. I also love the little hints that this world is off from my world, and that intrigues me as well. There's more going on here, and I'm curious what that is.

4) Pros-Cons of double narratives? I've heard a lot of talk on both sides of the fence. From what you see here, do you think the dual first person narration might work?
That's a post on its own, and a question I'm asking myself right now (my WIP has dual firsts). I can think of three YA novels off the top of my head that use dual firsts and have been quite successful. Maggie Steifvater's. Shiver (The Wolves of Mercy Falls trilogy), Beth Revis's Across the Universe, and Marie Lu's Legend. So yes, it can be done and done well. But there are extra challenges to dual firsts.

1. It's tougher to ensure the voices are distinct enough to keep track of who is who.
Since every chapter is "I" it's harder to maintain whose POV you're in, especially if the characters spend a lot of time together, where you see both from both sides a lot. The more distinct the voices, the easier this will be for the reader. All three of the books I mentioned tagged each chapter with the name of the POV, and Legend even went as far as to do all on one character's text in gold in and a different font. They worked hard to make sure you knew the difference.

If you go this route, I'd suggest putting time into each character's speech patterns, vocabulary, and how they see and refer to the world. Right now, both sound about the same. I like the voice, but they don't sound different yet. Make them unique and the odds of working go way up.

2. It's hard to hold reader interest in both POVs.
Pacing becomes trickier because you have two characters to follow, and unless one is the antag, odds are it's like having two protags. Each will have their own goals and plans. If the reader if more interested in one side, they might skim through the other to get to the good stuff, especially if you end on a cliffhanger.

I'm reminded of the prequel Star Wars movies. Multiple POVs, exciting stuff was happening, but every scene ended just as it was getting to the good stuff and threw you to another POV just ramping up to the good stuff. By the time you got back, the tension was gone and you no longer cared. After several scenes in a row like this you stopped feeling any tension at all, because you knew it was just going to end it and shift to a slow scene again.

Multiple POVs (first or third person) have this risk, so resist the urge to end every chapter with a major cliffhanger, or design them to dangle something in front of the reader every time. While this is usually exactly what you want, you have to maintain a much finer balance when you change POVs. Keep the tension even across the board so you raise it as a whole and keep readers reading, not make them feel like they're always being kept back from the excitement. It's more about keeping the story interest high than each particular scene if that makes sense. Wanting to see how a scene turns out can cause skimming. Wanting to see how the whole story turns out keeps them with you.

Making those plans connect and having something that ties the two sides together can help bring the story together here.

3. It's hard to ensure both sides have a real and separate story, yet at the same time making it all one story.
If one side is there to basically relay information the other side needs to know but isn't involved in, it can come across as a POV full of infodumping. If it's two people living two separate lives, it can come across as two stories in one book. Great multiple POVs work when every side brings something unique to the story and the reader can only get the full story by seeing all the sides.

Another snag is if both sides frequently explain the same info, even if it's from different perspectives, it's still the same info unless there's something very different in how each side sees that info. There's nothing new for the reader to discover. But if two sides each have different info, or (great fun) wrong info, and the reader can see the truth by seeing what both sides know and don't know, then you can build some wonderful dramatic irony. Readers can put the pieces together and figure out the truth for themselves by what the two sides know (or don't know).

Third person does has advantages over first in that you don't have to work quite so hard, but really, all the same issues apply. You want your characters to sound different no matter who they are. Even secondary characters should have their own voice. You still want the stories to be different, yet connected. You still want to keep your pacing tight and balanced. What's forgiving about third, is that when you slack off on those things, it's still clear whose head you're in.

There's also the issue that not everyone likes dual firsts. I had a writing instructor who hated it. She felt that you couldn't have two people telling the same story at the same time. It jarred her every time it switched. Folks can be iffy with first person, and I don't think I've ever seen a review that said "I don't like third person..." but I do see this with first. But you have no control of who might or might not like it, so if you prefer it, and you enjoy it, and even more important, you write better in it, go for it. (I did) Worst case, it can be changed if an editor or agent down the road thinks you'd stand a better chance with third over first. I'm seeing more of it these days than I used to in YA, though.

As for pros, the only real decision is which do you prefer to write in. Dual firsts, dual thirds, they're both fairly even, and as I said, the same problems do apply to both. Firsts is a tad more difficult, but if you're a stronger writer in first than third, it balances out those difficulties. Both are acceptable and readers like both. I'd suggest writing the story the way you feel it should be written, and how you feel you'll get the best story.

Overall, a good start that I enjoyed and would read more of.

Thanks to our brave volunteer for submitting this for me to play with. I hope they – and others – find it helpful. I don’t do a full critique on these, (just as it pertains to the questions) and I encourage you to comment and make suggestions of your own. Just remember that these pieces are works in progress, not polished drafts, so be nice and offer constructive feedback.

We Have a History: Making Backstory Work for You

2012-01-06T08:24:00.000-05:00

Along with adverbs and telling, I think backstory completes the unholy trinity of writing. So much so that agent and writing guru Donald Maass advises you cut any backstory in the first 50 pages. But backstory has its uses, and sometimes, it's critical to know that history.

Even if it's not critical for the reader to know it.

In some genres it's more of an issue. Fantasy, science fiction, historical--any genre where the past and the history of that past strongly affects the current plot and the motivations of the characters. Doubly so if the antag is the one with the past that's come back to haunt someone, since you don't always see the antag's POV.

My current WIP has a major event that happened decades ago, but this event is the trigger for all the present-day plot events in the story. I knew basically what had happened in the past, but I focused more on what my protags were doing/uncovering and chose what parts of the antag's plot to use based on them. Something needed to be discovered/uncovered/happen in a certain scene so I decided on the spot what that was based on what I knew about the history and the antag's plot.

By the time I was done, I wasn't happy. The mystery part wasn't as strong as I knew it could be, because I hadn't spent enough time on the backstory. If you looked too closely at the plot, things didn't quite line up, and questions were left hanging. The more you thought about the story, the weaker the story got. Not a good thing.

So I went back and wrote the backstory.

Not in the book mind you, but a rough synopsis that described that past event and what happened. Why the characters did what they did and the ramifications of those actions. When I was done, I did the same thing with my antag. Then, I did it with all my major and supporting characters who were involved in it, no matter peripherally. (One character was nine years old when this happened, but after doing this, I realized the event had a profound affect on who he was that made his character much richer and more interesting)

That's a lot of summarizing and a lot of backstory, but afterward, I knew how all the pieces fit and those plot events that felt shaky could now be made solid. I knew why folks did what they did in the present day plot, even if they weren't the POV character. I had secrets and things non-POV characters wanted to avoid, which gave me all kinds of great things to use to up the mystery, the tension, and use for plot.

I made this event matter to the present day world and those who lived in it. It wasn't just "something that happened once" anymore.

If you're facing a story with lots of history, try writing out that history. Ask yourself:

What happened in the past and why?
It seems simple, but the act of writing it down forces you to make decisions about things you might not have realized weren't clear. It'll also help you spot any holes or weak logic. Try to go down three levels.

For example, Level 1: Why are they doing the obvious thing? (the plot reason most likely) Level 2: What made them do that thing? (probably the motivating factor from the backstory) Level 3: What made them do that thing? (a solid reason for this to happen at all. And the most likely culprit of plots that feel a little flimsy when thought about or questioned).

How does it affect the current plotline?
Knowing this can help you decide what aspects of your backstory to reveal to the readers. The bits that actually matter, not the full history that doesn't advance the story.

Were any of the current characters involved?
If so, what was their role? How do they feel about it now? How does it motivate their actions and choices now? This will help you make them real people with real motives, even if they're not major players in the story. It'll also give the sense that things are going on in the world and it's not all about your main characters. Supporting players have lives, even when off screen.

How do the POV characters feel about it?
If your POV characters weren't involved (or don't know about it) odds are they're trying to figure it out in some way. That might even be the goal of the book or a subplot. What do they know? What do they think they know, but have wrong? What parts are they trying to solve, but uncover something totally unexpected? Knowing the backstory can help you plot twists and turns and surprise the reader in ways that make sense and feel grounded. It'll also make it easier for you to plot when, where, and how they discover information, especially if other characters hold the key to any of that information. You'll know exactly who knows what, why they may or may not talk about, and how badly they'd want to keep (or reveal) that knowledge.

Backstory gets a bad rap, but when you think about it, it's the motivating factor behind your characters, and characters are what drives your story. You need the backstory to create rich and proactive characters. So why not write it all on its own? It keeps it out of the story, allows you to explore the history that captured your interest, and helps you crafts a story and characters with depth.

How much does backstory affect your current WIP? How much have you put into the story? Do you feel it's too much? Too little? Have you tried writing it out separately?

Up for a Little Spring Mingling?

2012-01-05T06:00:00.005-05:00

For kid lit authors who live in the Georgia area (and nearby states), there's a great conference coming up. Southern Breeze's Springmingle. I've been a member of this group for several years now, and they're a great and supportive bunch. The Springingle is a perfect opportunity to get to know some of them and attend a wonderful conference at a fairly reasonable price. I hear the intensives are especially helpful, and everyone I know who's taken one has raved about them.

One thing I like about these conferences, is that the agents and editors who present usually give a special "freebie pass" to submit to them if you attended the conference. (you get a code in your welcome kit, so you can't just say "I went to X") You can submit directly to folks who aren't always open to unsolicited submissions. I thought that was pretty cool.

Anyway, here's all the info...

If you’re serious about the children’s book market, you'll want to attend Springmingle 2012, Feb. 24-26, 2012 at the Atlanta Marriott Century Center.

Springmingle is presented by the Southern Breeze Region of the Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators, the world’s largest professional organization for authors and illustrators of books for children and young adults.

At Springmingle, you’ll learn how to raise the level of your work and improve your chances of getting published. You’ll meet editors and agents who are looking for new talent. And you’ll connect with other authors and illustrators of children’s literature. You can also receive critiques from professionals and peers.

The conference faculty includes:

Kirby Larson, author of 10 books for young readers, including the 2007 Newbery Honor winner, Hattie Big Sky
Greg Ferguson, editor and art director at Egmont USA
Kristin Daly Rens, senior editor at Balzer & Bray / HarperCollins
Mary Kole, associate agent with Andrea Brown Literary Agency
Andy Runton, creator of OWLY graphic novels

The conference begins on Friday with an intensive workshop on novel writing with author Kirby Larson. (An additional fee applies.)

Conference tuition is $190 for SCBWI members, $220 for non-members, or $200 for students. Advance registration is required and spaces are limited. Register by Jan. 21 and receive a $5 discount.

For more information and to register for Springmingle 2012, visit https://southern-breeze.net/

See you there if you go!

I Meant to do That: Three Things Die Hard Can Teach us About Seamless Plotting

2012-01-04T08:26:00.000-05:00

The hubby and I like to watch holiday-themed movies over the holidays, so naturally, Die Hard made the list this year. I haven't seen it in ages, but for a movie that came out in 1988, it still holds up remarkably well. One reason for that is the script. I was surprised at how well plot elements were seamlessly woven in. You'd think a big shoot 'em up action movie wouldn't pay attention to details, but this one does. And we can learn from it to make our stories read just as seamlessly.

Odds are you won't write a seamless story on the first draft, but you can make it read as if you planned it that way all along.

Making Fists With Your Feet
One important plot element of Die Hard is that the hero, John McClane, is trapped in a high rise under attack and is totally unprepared for it. He's barefoot, wearing nothing but dress pants and an undershirt. It seems like a small detail, but it makes him appear more vulnerable and in way over his head. It thematically says "this guy has nothing to fight with and is practically helpless." I doubt you'd have the same sympathy toward him if he went through this dressed in jeans, and t-shirt and work boots. He wouldn't be so "naked."

But how to get him in that vulnerable position without it feeling contrived?

It's set up wonderfully in the opening scene. John is on a plane flying in to meet his wife for the holidays. He doesn't like flying, and the man in the seat next to him says the best cure for jet lag is to take off your shoes and make fists with your feet. A small, throw away detail that makes you chuckle a little, but later, when John goes into the bathroom to wash up, he does this (and it does make him feel better). This is when the bad guys show up and start shooting, forcing John to run without shoes. Even better, this detail comes into play later to raise the stakes again when the bad guys use John's bare feet against him.

How you can use this: If you know your protag has to be/do/know something later in the story, look for ways to prep the story for a plausible reason why. This is especially true for details that might stretch credibility at all. And don't just think they can have one affect. Look for ways this detail can have lasting effects.

A Photo Comes Back to Bite You
Things go wrong in plots, and we usually need something to happen to make them go really wrong at some point. A way for the hero to be caught off guard, or for the worst to happen when least expected. Die Hard has a great early on moment when John's estranged wife Holly (who is using her maiden name for work) is looking at a family photo on her desk. The marriage isn't good when the story opens, so she reaches over and turns the photo face down.

A perfectly natural thing to do, yet it accomplished so much plotwise. The antag, Hans, uses this office later in the story. He has no idea of the connection between Holly and John, yet everyone knows what will happen if Hans finds out Holly is John's wife. And you know he's going to find out at some point, but when, and how? It's great anticipation, and you forget about that little turned down photo from the beginning. It isn't until much later that Hans turns over that photo and figures it out. Turning down the photo accomplished nice character development and showed the troubled relationship between Holly and John, and did more than just setup a later event. It worked so well on its own you didn't think much about it. But later, it's right there to cause trouble.

How you can use this: Little seeds can grow into big problems. Try looking at you big "oh no" moments and see where you might plant a seed early on that helps your antag. We often spend time making sure the protag's story unfolds well, but why not let the luck turn in your antag's favor once in a while. If it's due to something the protag did, even better.

People Have the Right to Know the Truth
Antags aren't the only ones who can cause trouble. Random people trying to do something can also affect the plot, sometimes in unexpected ways. Reporter Richard Thornburg hears over the police radio about events at the high rise and sets out to get the story. He's a jerk, but he's there to do what he feels is right. To tell the story, even though the story might hurt the folks inside the building. His outside interference (him chasing his own goal) merges with earlier details (like the turned down photo), to trigger a major increase in stakes. Due to his actions, Hans finds out Holly is John's wife. The worst has happened.

How you can use this: Outside forces are wonderful ways to add unexpected wrinkles to a problem. People trying to do the right thing and it goes wrong, or the unforeseen thing happens and sends events in a totally new direction. Don't look only at what your protag and antag are doing at key moments in your plot. What are the other characters doing? What's going on locally that is out of their control? While the protag and antag typically go head to head, other factors can and will affect events.

Die Hard does a lot of things right. If you haven't seen it in a while (or have never seen it) I recommend watching it and studying how they slip in clues and put the plot pieces together. There are so many more than what I mentioned here. Wonderful twists and turns, escalating stakes, and even a solid character arc.

Do you seed your stories with details that have relevance later? Do you revise with this in mind? Are there places you could add details right now to make your current WIP better?

Guest Author Shawntelle Madison: A New Year: A New Start to Write

2012-01-03T07:07:00.000-05:00

I'm delighted to start the new year off with fellow geek Shawntelle Madison. She writes in the uber-popular paranormal romance genre, and is here today to share her thoughts on starting off the new year on the "write" foot. (I especially love #1)

Shawntelle is the author of the upcoming urban paranormal romance, Coveted, from Ballantine Books. You can read the first two chapters on her website. She loves to create tools for writers. Be sure to check our her synopsis wizard and goal-motivation-conflict wizard.

Take it away Shawntelle ...

2012 is your year to grab the bull by the horns. Well, at least by the rope at a safe distance.

The holidays are a great time to reflect with family and friends. It’s also a time when many take a break from writing for a much needed rest. It’s quite easy to jump off the treadmill and stay off for a while. I’m here to tell you to stay strong and pull out that keyboard again to get to work.

1. Its okay to be tired and take a break.
Creative juices can run out and they definitely need to be recharged sometimes. So don’t feel bad if you’re fresh from a long break—or even a short one. Even marathon runners need to stop running so they can be fresh for the next run.

Ask yourself the pivotal questions you ask yourself whenever you've done an activity for too long: is my lack of motivation due to working too much? Are my eyes tired? Does looking at the computer make me cringe? This is likely a sign that your inner writer needs a break. My internal gauge is when I stopping dreaming/daydreaming scenes. That means my mind isn't engaged to work and needs some time to get back on track after a break.

2. If you don’t feel like writing, but you want to cattle prod yourself back to work, then you might need to flip the script and temporarily change your writing process.
After a long break to recharge myself, I do my best work by changing my writing environment. I’m most comfortable sitting on my couch with laptop, but sometimes home is just too distracting. The cure for those times is a trip to the library or local coffee shop. I turn off the internet, plug-in in some music, and get to work. It’s amazing how many words were just there waiting to come out. Even when I think my well was dry. The problem wasn't the words, it was the focus needed to get them out.

3. Fresh ideas sometimes revive writing.
Are you stuck at a particular point in your manuscript? Rev the engine back up by building up a nice stack of plot points. This may not work for you if you’re a panster who writes scenes as they come to you, but if you’re a plotter like me, an arsenal of ideas on how to torture your protagonist is just what the doctor ordered. I love playing the what-if game. These what-ifs at first can be anything to get the imagination going, but after that I focus on what-if scenarios that work toward helping my protagonist achieve his/her goals. If you’re not sure what to do, this blog post is a great list of ways to get writing going again.

Another way to generate ideas and relax at the same time is to read, read, and read. Watching a good movie or television program can have the same effect. Oftentimes while watching a good drama that elicits an emotional reation, I ask myself: why do I feel this way? How did the writer get this type of reaction from me? What method did they use and how can I apply the same thing to my work to get things nice and poppin'? It's always nice to combine work and pleasure at the same time. ;)

4. No time to write?
I know all about this one. I have a huge list of things to do to spring clean my home. Cleaning is a lot easier than writing. No deep thinking. No research. Just organizing/tossing/sweeping/wiping until I have a result I can immediately see—a cleaner home. But deep down inside, I know cleaning is just an excuse to get away from writing. I tell myself I’ll hardly get any work done if I try—or I’ll feel better if the house is clean. Excuses, excuses. Based on experience, it's all about divide and conquer. Multi-tasking is the key. I’ve written 300 words on my cellphone standing in line at the pharmacy. I’ve dictated 750 words using Dragon Naturally Speaking in 10 minutes. That is a bite of time where I got something done. Not a master piece of epic proportions, but a small slice of progress. Those little bites add up. If I did 100 words per day I’d have a decent size manuscript in less than a year. It’s all about setting those manageable goals and fighting for it.You can do it!

So. Are you ready for 2012? Are you ready to set back into the ring and fight for those words? You’re not alone. I’m right there with you and together we’re gonna create some great stories this year!

Do you have any recommendations to get 2012 started off with a bang?

About Coveted

SOMETIMES WHAT YOU COVET IS IMPOSSIBLE TO KEEP.

For werewolf Natalya Stravinsky, the supernatural is nothing extraordinary. What does seem strange is that she’s stuck in her hometown of South Toms River, New Jersey, the outcast of her pack, selling antiques to finicky magical creatures. Restless and recovering from her split with gorgeous ex-boyfriend, Thorn, Nat finds comfort in an unusual place: her obsessively collected stash of holiday trinkets. But complications pile up faster than her ornaments when Thorn returns home, and Nat and Thorn discover that old flames still remain intense.

Before Nat can sort out their relationship, she must face a much hairier problem. Her pack is under attack from the savage Long Island werewolves—and Nat is the first target in the turf war. Toss in a handsome wizard vying for her affection, a therapy group for the anxious and enchanted, and the South Toms River pack leader ready to throw her to the wolves, and it’s enough to give anybody a panic attack. With the stakes as high as the full moon, Nat must summon all her strength to save her pack, and ultimately, herself.

What the Heck was I Thinking? Reevaluating Your Writing Process

2012-01-02T08:39:00.006-05:00

Beginnings are great times to reevaluate things. Be it the start of the week, month, year or even the start of a new novel, taking time to step back and ask, “am I doing this the best way I can?” can be incredibly helpful.

Several blog posts over the last month started me thinking while I was finishing up my current YA project. One was this wonderful post by Jami Gold on What Do You Suck At? She urges writers to admit and own up to where are writing skills are weak so we can improve them. Around that same time, the always helpful Kristen Lamb had one of her awesome posts on antagonists. Then to cap it off, YA Highway linked to a remarkable post by Rachel Aaron on writing 10,000 words a day.

I couldn’t get these posts out of my head. What did I suck at? Endings. I always have to write them several times to get them right, even though I know what makes a good one. Why did I suck at endings? Typically because I rush them once I get to the end (I just want the book over so I can start revising), but for this particular YA novel, it was because I didn’t know my antag’s goal well enough. What did this have to do with writing 10K words a day? Because I kept getting stuck in my current project because I didn’t know enough about what was going to happen, because I didn’t know what my antag was doing, and I didn’t really know what he ultimately wanted beyond a vague plot point. (Something Rachel covers in her post)

So it’s time to change how I write.

My process evolves all the time, so this isn’t a huge deal. Whenever I hear about something that sounds intriguing, I try it out. But I meet frustrated folks all the time who struggle with their writing. They try to do what works for others or they try to write “the right way” and that’s not a way that works for them. I’m a firm believer in always striving to improve your craft to tell the best stories you can. Even if everything is going well in your writing, it might be worth taking a minute to think about what you can do to improve.

Here’s a 2012 challenge for you:

What aspects of your writing can you work on this year?

Even if it’s one small area, take a step to being better. If you’re just starting out and have a lot of places to grow, try picking one per month and working on mastering that before moving on. If you’re solid in all your craft techniques, try looking at your process, or your story ideas. Make an effort to do something to improve how you write.

This is what I’m working on this year:
1. My endings
2. Writing more in less time

How I plan to do this:
1. Really know my antags and their goals in the outline process. I always have a basic idea of what has to happen in the end, but sometimes that’s pretty vague. With my current project, the antag’s plan is critical to what the protags do, so being vague here caused me a lot of extra work and revision. (it has a strong mystery plot).

I have a mystery writer friend who always plots out exactly what her killer does before she writes a book. Since the protag is trying to solve that murder, it makes perfect sense to know where the bad guy is at all times and how that affects your heroes. This is a trick that easily translates to other genres with mystery elements.

For stories where the antag isn’t so critical, (not working off a plan of their own) I’ll spend more time thinking about the ending and what’s going to happen--what constitutes that win in a more specific way. (Here’s where all that practice writing hook lines will come in handy. If I can’t state what the end goal is, I need to do more work)

What I hope to gain from this: To avoid the inevitable slow down I always hit when I get within a few chapters of being done. To have a clearer picture going in of the ending, which will make the rest of the book easier to plot in a first draft. To make early drafts more solid and require less revision after the story gets down on paper.

2. Inspired by Rachel’s post, I’m going to go back to my outlines. She talks about doing a pre-writing summary before she starts each day and jots down what’s going to happen in the scene she’s about to write. Sometimes I do this and sometimes not, and it hit me that when I do, I actually am more productive. So why wasn't I doing this every writing session before every scene?

What I hope to gain from this: To write more in less time, and write more keeper scenes than brainstorm scenes (scenes where I write them to see how it plays out, then revise heavily later).

I know I work better from a plan, and I’ve veered away from some of the things I’ve always been successful with. I think being a little more structured is going to make me more productive, and hopefully allow me to write better books.

What about you? Do you have any areas you’d like to work on this year? What about your process? Is it the best it can be for you? Any places you might tweak and see if it helps?

Happy New Year! And Now, the Plan for 2012

2012-01-01T06:00:00.006-05:00

Happy New Year everyone! There’s something invigorating about a clean slate isn’t there? A defined day to start anything we feel like, and it’s okay. So, here are my 2012 goals:

The Writing Goals

Get the new YA polished and off to my agent and editor
Chance of success: 100%. Note there are no dates on when this will occur. This novel has proven to me that it’ll get done when it’s done, but it’s almost there. Crits come back in a few weeks and I’ll be ready to dive in and polish that sucker up.

Write at least one of the new MG reluctant reader series I have planned
Chance of success: 80%. I want to say 100% here, but until I know how the YA pans out I won’t know what my schedule will be. I assume I’ll have several months to work on a new project while agent/editor reads the YA, but you never know how these things go. Good news, these books will be short, and I plan to outline the snot out of them, so they should go quickly once I start. (Famous last words. Watch, these will be harder than Blue Fire was)

Write another YA novel
Chance of success: 50%. A lot of this will depend on whether or not I sell the current YA project. (I hope so, and things look good for it, but you never know) The project could be a series, so if it sells as one, I’ll jump on book two. If it doesn’t, I’ll probably focus more on the reluctant reader project before I do anything else. All this can change of course if my agent has a better suggestion on where I should focus if it comes to that. Career planning and whatnot.

Go to a few of the big conferences
Chance of success: 50%. I’ll attend a few smaller and local ones for sure, but I’d love to do a national SCBWI or RWA this year. And go back to Surrey. Not sure it’ll be in the budget though, as these things can be pricey.

The Blogging Goals

Grow the blog
Chance of success: 100%. Well, 100% that I’ll do stuff to grow it. Whether or not it grows is out of my hands. But I plan to try several things, like:

Tweak the design to make it even more user-friendly
Write those dang e-books and get them out there
Write and submit articles to writing magazines
Do more guest posts and introduce myself to new readers

The Marketing Goals
New category! Marketing takes up time and is its own beast, so I think it deserves its own set of goals.

Be more active on social network sites in a way that doesn’t steal all my time
Chance of success: 50%. Yeah, I have doubts about this, as I haven’t been real successful here so far. But I miss commenting on sites like Absolute Write and keeping up with blogs and comments, and my poor Facebook page has been silent for far too long. There’s got to be a way I can do this and still get my writing, blogging, working and life stuff done.

Do more events
Chance of success: 50%. This is really out of my hands, so I guess the better goal is “submit proposals to more events.” That I can do. But I’d like to get out there more and meet folks over the year. Both at writer’s conferences and reader festivals. Oh, and workshops. Those are always fun.

The Personal Goals

Re-do my office
Chance of success: 100%. My office was originally created for my day job, but that has slowed down while the writing has picked up, so I now need a better setup. I want to move some furniture around, shift files, put up more shelves, etc.

Eat better
Chance of success: 60%. I’m a junk food junkie, always have been, but this whole getting older nonsense makes it harder to eat like that and stay alive. Luckily, I like veggies and whatnot. I just gotta buy them more often, and then remember to eat them. And plan meals instead of hitting dinnertime and deciding it’s easier to eat junk than cook.

Exercise more
Chance of success: 60%. If I can get back on a regular routine, this will be easier. Typically, as soon as something throws me off, exercising goes right out the window. Maybe if I move the Wii into my office. That way I can at least do the Wii-Fit yoga stuff in the afternoons when I need a break and need a pick me up. I have fun doing that.

Have more fun
Chance of success: 80%. The last few years have been pretty hectic and crazy, and in 2011 I tried to take more time for myself. I did okay, and it’s time to carve out a little more me time. Except that me time is always the first thing to go when I get busy. (If you see me and I desperately need a haircut, you know I’m swamped). The hubby will help here though, which will increase my chance of success. He already has fun stuffed planned for us.

Read more
Chance of success: 75%. I think I’m going to try to do one of those reading challenges, and read a book a week if I can. This will fit well with the more me time goal. Spending Sunday mornings curled up with a book is both fun and easy to do for me. If I can just keep myself from getting on the computer. I also enjoy reading before bed, so I need to keep a book on the nightstand as well. Different books most likely. I’ve found nighttime reading is better with lighter books. They’re easier to put down when you get sleepy.

Things I’d like to do but probably won’t

Start a vegetable garden.
I’ve wanted to do this for a year, but I think it’s just a recipe for dead plants. I want to go out every day and play in the garden, but actually doing it is another story.

Be more active on the author site blog
Right now, the blog part of my author site is more for displaying news, but I’d really love to make that a weekly post so I can connect to my readers more. Something like the Sunday Social I tried (and failed) to do here. I think I might be able to do a weekly “here’s what I did” type post, as long as there’s something interesting to talk about.

And that’s it. Not as heavy as last year, and I think a lot more doable.

So what about you guys? What are your goals for 2012?