I love doing things that are totally different, cutting edge, & that make better sense than what the status quo does.  These odd shoes are pretty much gloves for your feet… These protect your feet from rocks and such… think of them as a super callous with better grip.  They don’t really provide much as far as protection from cold though, so I’m not throwing out my winter boots, but they sure beat flip-flops in the winter (yes some guys wear flip-fops in the winter.

Barefoot Running & Walking

I run barefoot on my treadmill.  When you run barefoot you have to re-learn how to run… you land on the front of your feet (ball and toes) and your heal generally never touches the ground (which is how we were designed to run) and your toes splay outward to provide balance.  Barefoot running and walking develops stronger lower leg mucles and allows your calves to absorb shock rather than joints or bones  This prevents shinsplints pain, reduces injury, strengthens your feet and ankle muscles, increases balance (toes can spread out and do their job).  I have heard it is common for marathon runners using regular shoes to lose their toenails while running… that has to be uncomfortable.  Also, ankle injuries have increased with the use of running shoes rather than decreased.  Also, many top track teams are switching to training barefoot.

Comparing Them to Others

Toes need room… I hate scrunching up my toes in uncomfortable shoes.  My most comfortable shoes are my Vibrams, Nike Free (Nike’s stretch toward the barefoot trend), & Crocs (all of which modern runners are known to use).

How do the Vibram Fivefingers compare?  Well they have no cushion, while the Nike Free’s and Crocs are like walking on marshmallows.  The Nike Free’s annoy me because when I stand up straight my toes do not rest on the ground.  They were designed to be similar to barefoot running, but they have a huge heel pad, which prevents you from being forced to avoid landing on your heal.  They do however make a great walking shoe because we do naturally use our heal when walking.  My biggest gripe with crocs is that the rubber sole does not allow the foot to breathe well, even in socks, so they get sweaty.

What about flip-flops?  Well with flip-flops you always have to hold them on with your toes.  Try moving backwards quickly, or jumping in flip flops.  You can’t let your toes splay out naturally since you have to use two of them to keep the sandal on.  Driving in flip-flops can be a pain sometimes too.  Vibram Fivefingers are effortless.

The challenge with picking a Vibram shoe

Sizing and fit are a big challenge… too tight or too lose and they won’t feel very nice.  They need to be snug enough for good movement but loose enough that no toe’s movement is constricted.  You need to be able to bend your toes up and down comfortably.  Most people will find as I did their feet are not exactly the same size.  Someday, perhaps Vibram will offer the ability to buy a different size for the right & left foot, but that day is not here yet so go with the larger foot’s size.  I tried on maybe 4-6 pairs before I found the ones I wanted.  Each shoe has minor differences which can be unfomfortable.  One shoe that I tried on did fit well, but had a weird stitch or excess fabric on the seam in the pinky toe.  Another shoe I tried on that fit had a weird top over the big toe and my toenail would catch on it.  Also they feel differently once you stand up in them.  So you really need to try them on.

Do you need socks?

There are some cool socks designed to work with the Vibrams called Injinji Toe Socks.  These socks would also be great in other shoes that had larger toe-space.  Realize the Vibram Fivefingers KSO shoes breathe well, especially while walking or running, they are washable in cold (air dry), and they have microbial protection, but I would recommend socks if you want to wear the shoes more frequently between washings, you want more warmth, or you have super-sweaty feet.

Which Vibram Fivefingers model is right?

For your first shoe do what I did and get the KSO (stands for Keep Stuff Out).  If you plan to use them mostly just to do outdoor trek or hiking then get the Treksport or KSO Trek, their hiking shoe models.  The KSO Trek is a leather shoe in brown or black, while the Treksport is like their others with mesh and such.  They both have serious rugged tread.  If you are a serious, hardcore runner, then get the Bikila, which is their take on a running shoe.

So why the KSO?

The KSO can be used for most anything, it moves easier than the others mentioned and is more comfortable.  I can actually curl my toes under in these shoes.  It is less rugged of a tread than the two trek models, but unless you are walking around climbing on jagged rocks or hitting the trails the trek models are overkill.  The Bikila looks cool and I have not tried it on, but I am guessing it would be a fine starter shoe too and closer to what people are used to as a shoe, but not as versatile as the KSO, which can be used for walking, running, water sports, yoga/pilates, traveling, and after sport.

You Will Love Them

If you like being barefoot, wearing flip-flops, or just socks you will love these, because now you can do that outdoors, in the gym, and everywhere without the danger of stepping on a rock or rough ground.  You also have to have a flair for being different – if you are overly concerned about what others think you may want to stick to your really uncomfortable shoes.  Many wear them because they are hippie tree-huggers, but I wear them because they are cool new technology. There is just something I find cool about using our amazing bodies the way they were designed – it just seems right.  I have found my feet get tired and ache more when I use shoes that do not allow my foot and toes to move freely.  I also find my legs eventually start to ache when I wear things that are too tight on my feet.

From my experience the key to bodily comfort seems to be movement & use, rather than more padding… and these shoes do just that.

Sandra Bullock's latest flick, a heartwarming, tear-jerker.

We went and saw the movie The Blind Side last night and man… I was failing miserably at holding back tears the entire show. I found it extremely moving, touching, and it really hit home.  Many people might tell you it is about an uneducated, black, homeless kid who was taken in by a white family, taught football, tutored, and eventually went pro in the NFL, but that is not accurate.  The movie is really about a woman that reaches out, does the right thing, and makes a huge difference in a young man’s life.  A truly inspiring story and for me, personally moving.

As we were driving home I realized why I was so moved by this film… (keep reading –>)

…the character Sandra Bullock played in the Blind Side movie reminded me of my wife Ashley, not only are they both attractive, strong-willed, and intelligent, but they both decided to love kids that were not their own.

Ashley took two little girls in to her life, that weren’t hers and chose to love them and be a mother to them.  She didn’t have to.  No one sees how difficult it has been for her, dealing with my ex-wife’s anger, defensiveness, and desire to be the only mom in their lives.  She has dealt with hatred.  She has even been yelled at and called a “little hussy” to her face by my ex-mother-in law (don’t worry, apologies have been made).   Ashley took the high road and gave gifts, gas money, cards, etc. to my ex-wife, seeking to create a peaceful environment, only to have her motives questioned and attacked.  Ashley was also, unjustly, the primary target of attack in legal custody battles and falsely slandered and painted as the selfish, meddling stepmother to a judge.

Ashley was the one that suggested we should to move to Burley.  She felt we needed to be closer to the girls.  She felt the girls needed it and she knew I needed it.  We had always wanted to be closer to the girls.  We just considered a move to Burley as being financially unsustainable, but we finally had the means to make such a move work, and so we did it.  Only God knows what rumors and stories had been said to people about her before moving here.  Many women would have given up, or perhaps decided to just be a distant stepmother.  She tearfully left all of her family behind in California because she wanted to make a difference in two little girls lives.

Ashley could have just been my wife, she could have been one of the evil stepmothers you see in movies, or that are spoken of in many classic children’s stories.  These are, in my opinion women that took the easy route, guarded their hearts and then began to resent the relationship their man has with their kids.  Ashley however, has chosen to stay open and vulnerable and loving toward the girls, be a mother to them, and love them, in spite of all the challenges.

During one of our trips to Burley to visit the girls, before moving here. The girls used to call this place "Dad's Hotel."

The girls love her.  She has always planned crafty projects to do with them and I can’t even get them to go to sleep unless they get a kiss goodnight from “Mom.”

As Ashley and I were driving back from the theater, I expressed to her that she was just as amazing as the mother in the movie.  I tearfully expressed my gratitude for her loving me and my two precious daughters.  She sat quiet for a while and then revealed she came away from the movie feeling like she wasn’t doing enough service or making a big enough difference in the world.  No, the girls weren’t homeless, and no, they won’t become professional football players, and our story will likely never become a movie, but the sacrifices Ashley has made and the love she has given is just as big and just as important.  Not only has she greatly impacted two little girls, but she also took a broken, divorced, shell-of-a-man, and believed in him and loved him, and that is what makes Ashley great, in anyone’s eyes.  How can you not love such a woman?

Enjoyed this article?  Seen the movie?  Make comments!  Know Ashley?  Please say something about her below and I’ll make her read it.

Is it really worth it?

It is nearing Thanksgiving, a time when many of us start traveling to eat bird with family.  Let’s face it, many of us feel the need to let the universe know what we are doing via status updates on various networks such as Facebook and Twitter whenever we actually do anything remotely interesting or different than sitting at our computer.  This is also a great way to let would-be criminals know that you will be out of town for a few days so they can break into your house without any complications. “No, no not my online ‘friends,’ they are perfect and I know them all deeply, and I would never use Twitter!”  Read on…

The economy is down, Christmas is coming, and joblessness is at a crazy high.   Don’t tempt people, especially not your online “friends.”

So before you plan on posting anything like the following…

“Now boarding a flight to LA, Yipee!”

and then…

“Can’t wait until Monday to be back in my select comfort bed!”

You might want to consider what the criminally minded or desperate might be thinking when they read it.

To be clear, you don’t want to post something like this on your Facebook Status:

“My poor house is all alone and the side door is unlocked and my social security card is in my top dresser drawer, boy I hope no one steals my 50″ plasma TV,  – man I really need to get an alarm system and a dog.  Did I mention I don’t have a dog there?”

Rather,  something like this might be good:

“Happy Thanksgiving everyone, I’m grateful I live in a country that allows me to bear arms, keep a very protective attack dog, and install cameras throughout my house.”

If you share things leave out specific details, or post about them once you are back.  You can also mention security measures such as house-sitters, dogs, alarms, etc.

Get a house-sitter or have someone stop by each day to check on the house, bring in mail, turn on lights, etc.

Please pass this along (share this post) on your Facebook page, or wherever your friends are to remind them that security is still an issue online and in the real world.

Oh, and travel safely and have a Happy Thanksgiving!

Any other tips?  Have some other stupid status update ideas?  Share in the comments below.

Tactics... The "Child face" evokes in men the desire to protect and makes your eyes appear larger by minimizing the face. Red lips and blush mimic arousal.

Sexiness, attractiveness, flirtatiousness, etc.  Some girls have got it and some girls don’t, but perhaps the real issue is that some have learned these tricks and some have not.  Be forewarned this is powerful stuff:  This is a black magic art that creates sexual energy and should only be used by mature adults.

I am a fan of body language and I love to figure out people and I just happen to be married to an extremely sexy woman.  A great book on the subject is The Definitive Book of Body Language.  Buy it, you will love it!

The Principle

The general principle to being sexy and arousing and attracting men is to appear aroused and attracted.  Women being “sexy” to men is appearing sexual.  Seems pretty simple right?

The Tricks

Here are the female tricks of the trade, many of which are picked up unconsciously from watching females or are possibly embedded in genetic code:

• Smoky eyes – mimics the eyes women make during intercourse.  Just squint slightly.  You will see this used in a plethora of ads.
  

  Angelina loves to use smoky eyes!

  This could be used to create the playful “Oh, You’re in trouble” look, with a slight smile.

• Rosy lips and rosy cheeks – This has been done for ages as a tactic to arouse men.  Why? According to experts it mimics the natural flush of the face experienced during intercourse.   Note, if you wear dramatic lipstick keep the eye makeup light to balance it out.
• Aroused face – This includes the smoky eyes, but is coupled with an open mouth.
  

  Marilyn Monroe - The queen of mimicking the face of arousal. Exposing neck, darkened lips, smoky eyes, and looking up to the taller males.

• Smile – There are a lot of different smiles.  Mischievous ones with smoky eyes for instance.
• Eye contact – of course.
• The intimate stare – This involves focusing your glare back and forth between the person’s eyes and lips.  This triangle space is the intimate stare and suggests you want to kiss them.  Do this while talking with someone you are interested in.
• Licking lips – Add this to the intimate stare to suggest you are prepared for a wet kiss or use alone to suggest they are delicious.
• The leg twist – The Sexiest way to sit – not just crossing your legs but doing what men cannot do… cross them at the knee and keep going… wrap and twist them so your foot is wrapped around the back of the other leg.  This highlights a difference between men and women.
• Sexiest way to talk – Slow and low – slow down your words and add pauses as often as possible and talk at the low end of your range.  Often women will add a breathy quality to mimic arousal.
• Hip-swaying walk – hip action – swing those hips the way a guy never should.

• 

  Beyonce is a notorious armpit exposer. Here she is demonstrating the S-Curve stance, much more interesting than standing straight up.

  Sanding S-curve – Sexiest way to stand – Standing straight is boring, create an S-curve by leaning on one leg and popping a hip out.  This highlights the female body’s curvature.  This is often seen in exaggeration with a hand on a hip and the other on the hair in cartoons.

• Chest emphasis – Roll those shoulders back and tighten those abs.  Shoulders rolled forward are a sign of weakness, shame, guilt, fear, etc.  Open up your chest and heart area to show confidence.
• Sexiest way to pick things up – Keep your legs straight and bend at the waist, while making sure your butt is towards your victim (obviously for light lifting).
• The Child face – Looking up, head tilted to the side, big eyes – This evokes in men the need to protect you by making your face appear smaller and eyes appear larger and more child-like.  You can tilt your head down and to the side if they are not standing taller than you.
• Exposing the neck – lift your head up and away from your male victim as if you are showing him you have a neck, maintain eye contact and you are golden.  Think willing vampire victim.
• Exposing the wrists - Again, displays openness and vulnerability.
• Exposing armpit – This supposedly has to do with making pheromones available.
• Weak wrists – bend those wrists, just let your hands dangle like earrings when not in use.
• Self grooming – This is natural way of expressing that you care that they see you.  Take the opportunity to move your hair to show your neck, fix your lipstick to highlight your lips, or smooth out your dress, when you think they are looking.  This is a mating ritual performed by humans when they see someone attractive.
• Self touching – This suggests to them you want to be touched by them wherever you are touching.  Rub a shoulder, push a hand across your thigh, wipe fingers down your neck, play with your hair, whatever… you get the idea.
• Looking over the shoulder – Try to bring your chin over your shoulder by turning your head and popping your shoulder.  It is as if you are showing off your shoulder.  The curve of the female shoulder mimics other curves and is found to be arousing to men.
• Cleavage – I read that this is arousing to men because it mimics the cleavage of the buttocks.  They say guys are either breast-men or butt-men – each mimic one another.  I think it is interesting that cleavage with the breasts must be created unnaturally using support from clothing to mimic something only seen when naked.
• Pointing toes – highlights the shape of their legs.
• Dangling your shoe – This is a highly flirtatious move that suggests they are in a playful mood and suggests undressing.  If it is being bounced or swung on the foot it is even more attractive and suggestive.
  

  Shoe dangling/bouncing draws attention to the legs.

• Oral teasing – Sucking or licking on anything such as candy, popsicles, your fork or spoon, or eating a banana, just imagine it being phallic.  This is torturous to men and highlights the lips.  Slower equals greater impact.
• Phallic object teasing – Stripper poles were no accident.  Objects such as pens, pencils, spoons, cigarettes, pole lamps, a bar, arm rail, can be used.  Nearly any lengthy item can be used as a phallic symbol.  Being subtle is key here though!  You don’t want to be too obvious here or you start moving from sexy to suggestive (such as a stripper pole).  Lightly running your finger across a pencil on your desk, while talking can be plenty.
• Arching the back – stretching is a nice way to pull this off.  This highlights the female figure, narrows the waist and accentuates curves above and below the waist.

Final Notes

You probably noticed the basic ideas here and can come up with some of your own.  It is easy to combine many of these things together, especially movements and expressions.  Women master this list, you may realize you do a lot of these things unconsciously throughout the day.  Once you are conscious of them you can avoid sending the wrong signals to the wrong people!  Just go easy on us men… I have to admit even though I am keenly aware of these things they still work on me, maybe even more so.  I believe this is because before I knew about these tricks I might have missed them as signals of interest and they would go unnoticed.

It may feel weird at first to some gals, like anything new… Remember actions create feelings.  Act sexier and you will feel sexier and the more you do it the more confident you will get at it.

One final tip: The sexiest outfit is a fit body, period.  What this means is exercise does more than the most expensive and finest clothing, because the female form becomes more attractive and magnetic as it gravitates towards health.  The good news is you don’t have to look perfect, using these tricks actually changes a guys vision – he will see you as something else entirely.

Any revelations?  Did I miss anything?  Try any of these out?  What tricks do you use on your man?  Notice any that females do?

Let us know how they worked in the comments!

Wave goodbye to email?

You may have heard your nerdier friends (such as myself) talk about it, beg for invites to it, ask if anyone else has it yet… some cool new thing called Google Wave. Sometimes it is written with slashes as \/\/ave (cool eh?).

So what is Wave?

Basically it is being touted as a modern replacement for the nearly ancient technology of email.   Great, but what does that mean?  Before Wave can be explained you have to understand why wave is being created and why we need a replacement for email.

The Problem with Email

Email has some inherent problems… 

As a one way communication tool it works fairly well, but even then it is slow… so Instant Message has taken hold as a useful technology.  Email truly falls short when used as a collaboration tool with groups, mainly because its easy to accidentally leave someone out in a group email, and many people still don’t understand when (or when not) to use the reply or reply-to-all options.  There is just too much room for error, there is also no administrative control for the originator.  Another issue with email is that it is just text… there is a lack of extensions, plugins, etc.  (Think Facebook).  So about the issue of group emails and leaving someone out.  If you leave someone out and then several email replies later they may realize they need to email Fred.  Fred gets some obscure email that has some pieces of the conversation below the current message, is confused, and then someone that was paying good attention, that hopefully saw all replies, will need to fill Fred in.

So some wizards at Google sat down and asked the question, “What would email be like if it were created today?”  So they imagined a system that is a mixture of email, instant message, Google Docs, website forum/comments, has plugin and extension capability, has threaded messages, and has complete playback capability.  So if Fred were left out of an email it is a mess, but if he were left out of a Wave he could be added in, he could then play it back from the beginning, like a movie, to see the conversation unfold, he could then reply to a single piece of the communication, he could edit someone else’s words, he could even add in a poll to have the group vote on a decision, or include files or pics.

Email vs. Wave?

As for now Email and Wave are not friendly towards each other.  They are as different as the Web and Email – totally different tools, with different protocols.

It took email quite a while to catch on, but someday we may all be emailing, texting, calling, skyping, voiping, and waving.  Will email be kicked to the curb for the new sexy Wave?  It is hard to imagine it going away entirely, but expect to hear the question “Do you have Wave?” more and more frequently.

My Opinion of Wave So Far

So far Google Wave is a tiny bit confusing and feels like a ghost town, at times it is buggy and slow, but there is nothing quite as cool as doing realtime waving with someone and seeing them type (yes you see them type in real-time, if they are in the wave with you).  You can view public waves by searching for this in Google Wave: with:public

Even then, the novelty wears off quickly since few of the people I know have access to wave, so it is really not very useful right now for me.

Right now it is mostly composed of the nerdiest in society, and it is very male dominated.  I searched for all public postings with bodybuilding and there were none, which is very telling considering there are significantly more male wavers and there are tons of public waves about many other topics including various software.  So I made one… why not?

Me...the authority on Bodybuilding. Don't laugh.

How to get Wave

You can request an invite from Google here, but your best bet is to ask your nerdiest friends for invites or to search twitter for “Google Wave Invites” and ask those saying they have invites available for an invite.  That is how I got mine…and no I do not have any invites, unfortunately.

Feeling nerdy? Want to wave me?  hullbody@googlewave.com is my wave address.

Questions? Did I miss something?  What’s your take on Wave so far?  Let me know in the comments!

My silicone Dvorak keyboard cover protects my computer and my wrists!

Allow me to reveal my true nerdy-awesome nature… part of being great, at least for me, is being nerdy.

What is Qwerty?  So look down at your keyboard… find Q and the keys following it.  QWERTY is the name of that layout of keys.  Originally keys were alphabetical, but they were rearranged into a layout that was designed to be difficult and slow down the typists and now you use it everyday and if you type a lot it is hurting your wrists.

I was annoyed by the issues with typing and the “carpal tunnel” or rather, the stupid pain from lame typing.   So I did some research and found that Dvorak is an alternative layout that you can type in that has been found to reduce movement 50%!

Mr. Dvorak stuck the vowels on the home row of the left hand and the most common consonants on the home row of the right hand.  This means there is less movement and that there is less times you will have to have the same hand type multiple keys in a row (more back and forth).  Typing speed actually increases.

It took me about a month to get used to Dvorak and now I love it.  I found a cool silicone cover from KB Covers for my Macbook Pro keyboard that rearranges the keys and protects my computer and I just changed the keyboard layout to Dvorak (it is built into all major operating systems).  This is good, because my last Macbook Pro I actually popped all the keys off and rearranged them into Dvorak… quite scary.  I’m not sure if this can be done or not on my solid body Macbook Pro… if so I would probably do it, because the downside to silicone keys is my fingertips get gripped by the keys.

So once you have your keyboard cover or keys switched, the computer needs to have its keyboard input setting changed.  On a Mac it is easy (as with most things): System preferences -> Language & Text -> Input Sources -> Dvorak.

I have Dvorak and U.S. (Qwerty) selectable from my Menu Bar

Overall switching to Dvorak has made typing just feel easier and it does not mess me up when I have to use Qwerty in hunt-and-peck-mode on my iPhone.

Ready to get nerdy?  Wrists, forearms hurt from typing?  Switch, give it a month, and be sure to let me know how it worked out for you in the comments!

You can do better than that mass marketed garbage!

Most toothpaste is rather ridiculous… You eat and then a few hours later your teeth have sweaters (bacteria poop) and you are a plaque monster… well you might want to reconsider the junk you use to clean your teeth.  If you haven’t read about my favorite deodorant, check that out right now so you truly appreciate this article.

The problem

Most toothpastes are designed to taste good, not to work well.  They are a gross, sticky, sugary, artificially flavored chemical filled garbage.  Someday we will be amazed that we used to stick this stuff in our mouths.  Millions of Americans use this stuff every day and still get cavities.  What a joke.  Cavities and tooth decay are caused by bacteria and bacteria thrive in an acidic environment.  Sugar is acidic and is fuel for bacteria.  Most toothpaste is also acidic rather than alkaline.

My Quest

So before I reveal this cool stuff I use on my teeth let me explain a little journey I had.  I wanted to discover how to remove and prevent plaque since I was tired of forking out money to a dental person to scrape my teeth with a metal hook.  If plaque can build on my teeth gradually while I am brushing and using toothpaste then there must be something that can gradually dissolve it or take it off.  How does it get on there anyhow?

So in my Google quest I came across ionic toothbrushes from Japan.  The websites selling these items said that our teeth are magnetic or ionized and are attracting plaque and it bonds.  These toothbrushes ionized the teeth or charged them so that they repelled plaque and actually removed its bond with your teeth.  I also own a water ionizer that alkalizes drinking water so I figured there must be a substance in nature that is ionic and can remove plaque without a fancy weird toothbrush.

What I wanted

How amazing would it be to find a toothpaste that is…

1. Alkalizing
2. kills bacteria
3. is natural and safe
4. absorbs/kills odor
5. is sugar free
6. fluoride free – fluoride is not good for you or kids.  Google it.
7. affordable

Again we must turn to the…

The Natural, Ionic, Antiseptic, Anti-fungal, Alkalizing, Miracle Powder

Bob's Red Mill Aluminum Free Baking Soda

This stuff is so cool!  Brush your teeth and tongue with it and then rinse your mouth out with water and the water tastes sweet like sugar water.  I love that.   If you have read my deodorant article then you probably guessed that it is Aluminum Free Baking Soda again.  Yes, my deodorant and toothpaste are the same stuff!  And they work fantastic!

My teeth stay clean nearly all day long with a single brush, there is no yucky sweet or flavored aftertaste to temporarily ruin my relationship with flavorful foods, plaque seems to have disappeared altogether, and tooth sweaters are a thing of the past.

So toss the food coloring, artificial flavored, goo of chemicals that you would never willingly choose to ingest and go get some of this stuff already!

Make sure to keep it sealed in an airtight container so it doesn’t absorb some funny flavor.

So go try it out, buy it here if you can’t find it, and report to others in the comments.

You know those people that you just click with – the ones that make you feel great and are really cool that you want to be around?   Have you noticed I am one of them?  If not, we need to hang out more!  If you have noticed, this might be why…. I love to make new friends and I will tell you a secret: I haven’t always been good at it.  I had to learn what some people seem to do instinctively.  You are sitting there, reading this, hoping to get better at making friends, because you care.  So if you don’t know me well, we need to get together because you are the kind of person that wants to improve and have friends and that means you are similar to me.  If you are in Burley, Idaho stop into my office.  So, I know that sometimes you do or say stuff and embarrass yourself or come across as a complete dork.  It’s alright, I still like you… so nerd, here’s the word – a gift from me to you:

Here is how I maximize my chances of building a rapport.  The basic principle is that we all like people like our selves.  Another principle behind creating rapport is to act like rapport is already there.  This has been extremely useful in job interviews, meeting new clients, dating, and strengthening existing relationships.  Using these tools you can turn any acquaintance into a friend.

• Talk at their pace – You may need to slow down or speed up.  Ever notice how annoyed you get speaking with someone that talks “too fast” or “too slow?”  Talking at their pace is courteous and you will be less annoying!
• Mirroring – use similar body language.  This naturally happens between people in a state of good rapport, you already do it at times.  Don’t overdo it, keep it subtle.  Remember people like people that are like them.
• Teasing – This is a good one, and I would add that you need to be careful with this one.. don’t assume too much.  People tease those that they have a strong rapport with.  Light teasing can create a strong sense of connection, go too far though and you will come across as a jerk.
• Tell secrets – It doesn’t have to be anything ground shaking, it could be anything really, even if it is just telling them something in a way that suggests it is a secret.  Telling a secret tells them that you trust them and feel safe with them and assumes rapport is there.
• Give gifts – Even just offering them a bottled water, if accepted, can make them feel better about you.  Gifts tend to make them want to do something for you and feel worse about turning you down.  Gift giving is a positive relationship tool in any culture.
• Talk about their interests – It sounds backwards, but being interested is the key to them finding you interesting.
• Find and maximize commonality – “Find a connection, then go in that direction” is a phrase someone once said that stuck in my mind.  Maximizing similar interests tells them you are similar to them and gives you something to build your relationship on and it gives you something to talk about each time you run into them.  It could be that you both have similar political views, or you both are in the same religion, or you both love the same TV show.
• Label them to someone else – If you are talking with them and someone calls, use that as an opportunity to express your feelings to them.  Example:  You are talking with a new acquaintance and things are going well and your cell phone rings.  You could say “Hey could I give you a call right back?  I’m visiting with a friend.”  Or if at a function, you could introduce them to someone else as your friend.
• Spread good rumors – This is a round-about way of labeling them to someone else.  Basically you talk well of a person with the knowledge that it will likely get back to them.  This is less immediate, but infinitely more meaningful, and what a great way to do something kind!

A note about romantic rapport… First build the friendship and maintain it using the tools above, as it is an essential foundation to creating the trust necessary for intimacy.  The same aforementioned skills are very powerful flirting tools… with a slight twist.  If you want to create a stronger romantic connection with someone, go through this list again and imagine using them in a romantic way to create intimacy.  Specifically, during intimate moments mirroring can be taken to an extreme, including breathing, blinking, etc.  Tell them a secret that is really how you feel about them.  Or label them as something that makes them shine and suggests more than a platonic interest.

Now go back and re-read this and notice which tools I used in this blog posting.

Find this useful?  Want your friends to be cooler?  Pass this on by sharing it on Facebook or emailing it around.

So, if you haven’t read my post about being an A. Hull, read that first.  Warning: This post is incredibly immature, juvenile, and offensive to boring old prudes.  My brother Bryant is obviously a B. Hull.  Bryant shared this humorous (juvenile) video with me… It turns out Hardees restaurant was testing to see if people liked A or B.  And B won!

Well, people always like Bryant, so I think that is fair… then again I am extremely hygienic, so if we were baked goods I would likely taste better…

To truly appreciate this post you may want to read this out loud… and try not to laugh or I’ll cry.

I have never understood why so often, people are ashamed to reveal their middle name… I just don’t get it… After-all it is a part of who they are…

Me (Son of an A. Hull), Grandpa (made my Dad an A. Hull), My Dad (an A. Hull and A. Mann Hull) holding Hudson (Not an A. Hull)

Actually that is not true… So I rarely reveal my middle name, or use my middle initial… Why?  Because then I become Jason A. Hull.

You can imagine how much I love when my credit cards come in the mail and say Jason A. Hull instead of Jason Hull, or people read things out loud with that name on it.  My coolness levels skyrocket!

Luckily no one knew this in high school or my name would have been unofficially changed to A. Hull, against my will, and everyone would have told me that I was an A. Hull daily.  Anyhow, I have grown up a bit and am way more mature now (possibly untrue), so I actually sometimes use it to inject humor into meeting people and helping them remember my name.

Now some people may think I actually fit the name A. Hull and deserve to be called an A. Hull, to which my mature response is that it takes one to know one, and if you aren’t an A. Hull then you obviously do not know me well enough to be qualified to speak on the matter.  So there.

It is in my blood to be an A. Hull

My dad gave me his name, as my middle name, which is Alan.  So technically my dad is the original A. Hull and was an A. Hull long before I was an A. Hull.  To top that off, my dad’s middle name is Mann… so he is Alan Mann Hull.  So yes, not only is my dad an A. Hull, but he is also a Mann Hull or actually A. Mann Hull.

I married one

So not only are me and my dad A. Hulls, but I married my wife Ashley, thereby turning her into an A. Hull.  So now I am married to an A. Hull that I love dearly.  So if you know the three of us then you have met 3 wonderful A. Hulls.  Maybe if Ashley and I get tan enough we can be brown A. Hulls?

Future A. Hulls?

Well so far none of my kids are A. Hulls, even though both of their parents are A. Hulls, so being an A. Hull must be caused by a highly recessive gene… considering the odds… and since 2 of my kids will likely someday marry and change their last name, they won’t create any A. Hulls either.  They still have the opportunity by giving their kids an A. name with the middle name of Hull.  So, there is still the likelihood that there will be more A. Hulls in my bloodline.  I don’t think any of my brothers are planning on raising A. Hulls, but you never know… there are a lot of nice A. names.  My dad insured the highest possible chance of their being more A. Hulls by only having sons, five of them in fact, but he only bestowed the honor of being an A. Hull, like himself, to me, his oldest son.  Apparently it was my birthright to be an A. Hull.

Well I of course had to follow suit with my firstborn son Hudson.  So, can you guess what I gave him as a middle name?

Actually, Jason.

Meaning matters

Jason comes from Greek and means “one who will heal” or “healer.”  I guess that means I will heal quickly after the damage is caused by revealing this.  So what is it like being an A. Hull?  It is a privilege few humans experience and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.  I would have to say I am not a dirty, stinky or ugly A. Hull and that I am a decent guy.  So hopefully you feel guilty when you tell people about this post and tell people I am an A. Hull.  The name Alan actually means handsome or cheerful.  So I am a cheerful, handsome A. Hull.  Hull is an old English word for hill.  So I am the “handsome healer on a hill” – a pretty good title for an A. Hull like my self.

When you name your kids, make sure you choose a name with meaning like mine…

Have a funny name?  Know of a funny name?  Like your middle name?  Let everyone know in the comments.