<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" media="screen" href="/~d/styles/rss2full.xsl"?><?xml-stylesheet type="text/css" media="screen" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~d/styles/itemcontent.css"?><rss xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" xmlns:openSearch="http://a9.com/-/spec/opensearch/1.1/" xmlns:blogger="http://schemas.google.com/blogger/2008" xmlns:georss="http://www.georss.org/georss" xmlns:gd="http://schemas.google.com/g/2005" xmlns:thr="http://purl.org/syndication/thread/1.0" xmlns:creativeCommons="http://backend.userland.com/creativeCommonsRssModule" xmlns:feedburner="http://rssnamespace.org/feedburner/ext/1.0" version="2.0"><channel><atom:id>tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864</atom:id><lastBuildDate>Sat, 29 Dec 2012 19:41:01 +0000</lastBuildDate><category>my life in pictures</category><category>life with a toddler</category><category>Holidays</category><category>halloween</category><category>doctors</category><category>PURE PWNAGE</category><category>Christmas</category><category>random</category><category>Thank You Thursdays</category><category>infertility</category><category>rants</category><category>relationships</category><category>depression</category><category>exhaustion</category><category>FML</category><category>I'm going to Hell for this...</category><category>life with a PRESCHOOLER</category><category>frugality</category><category>LOLcat</category><category>kidlette</category><category>awards</category><category>Beauty</category><category>pets</category><category>sick</category><category>blogging</category><category>love</category><category>married life</category><category>work</category><category>R.S.M.M.T.</category><category>Murphy's Law</category><category>Marine Corps Life</category><category>Recipies</category><category>kids</category><category>ex stress</category><category>Iraq</category><category>money</category><title>Desperately Seeking Coffee</title><description>Read along as I swear and stumble through life. I love my kid but I could really use a babysitter. And I love my hubby, but I'm going to set his Xbox on fire. Life is fun :)</description><link>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/</link><managingEditor>noreply@blogger.com (The Mad Housewife)</managingEditor><generator>Blogger</generator><openSearch:totalResults>157</openSearch:totalResults><openSearch:startIndex>1</openSearch:startIndex><openSearch:itemsPerPage>25</openSearch:itemsPerPage><atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/javainmyveins" /><feedburner:info uri="javainmyveins" /><atom10:link xmlns:atom10="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" rel="hub" href="http://pubsubhubbub.appspot.com/" /><creativeCommons:license>http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/</creativeCommons:license><image><link>http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/3.0/</link><url>http://creativecommons.org/images/public/somerights20.gif</url><title>Some Rights Reserved</title></image><feedburner:emailServiceId>javainmyveins</feedburner:emailServiceId><feedburner:feedburnerHostname>http://feedburner.google.com</feedburner:feedburnerHostname><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-1786980616890775646</guid><pubDate>Tue, 06 Nov 2012 01:38:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2012-11-05T18:38:30.494-07:00</atom:updated><title>The worst is the waiting</title><atom:summary>Mediation between myex and I was a spectacular failure. He was not going to budge one inch. We tried to more or less to appease him without giving away the farm, but he was stubbornly steadfast. I was supremely disappointed that this custody battle was going to rage on.


It's one thing to know or think you're the better choice to have primary custody of the child, it's another thing entirely to </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/ewS5BUVY7Sk/the-worst-is-waiting.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=ewS5BUVY7Sk:ueePq1GkMvw:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2012/11/the-worst-is-waiting.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-4736815857769486725</guid><pubDate>Wed, 25 Jul 2012 19:31:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2012-07-25T13:31:49.777-06:00</atom:updated><title>Myths about women</title><atom:summary>1) We only have "emotional sex

Totally untrue. Yeah, we'd take sex with a man we have a mutually emotional connection with any day. But sometimes, a girls gotta get hers, namean bro? Truth. Believe me, I had PUH-LENTY of one night stands back in my heyday. I didn't want a relationship, I just needed to get laid. I haven't had one in YEARS, being a Mama and all, last thing I need is my daughter </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/bSjWhGZM4RE/myths-about-women.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=bSjWhGZM4RE:0Rd2MWJ9Smk:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2012/07/myths-about-women.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-686471061945251258</guid><pubDate>Sun, 22 Jul 2012 19:34:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2012-07-22T13:39:03.076-06:00</atom:updated><title>Defriending IRL</title><atom:summary>I have three best friends. First and foremost is Housewife, because she is All that is Woman. Secondly is the Wife, with whome I reconnected with on MySpace. Last but not least is Bumpkin, who I used to work with and allows me to let my inner redneck out.


Now, Wife and I live in the same city, and we went to high school together. We never hung out or even really cared for each other in high </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/v4lFhBIHT6o/defriending-irl.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=v4lFhBIHT6o:vbZuzL9kakM:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2012/07/defriending-irl.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-982374947489482892</guid><pubDate>Sun, 08 Jul 2012 08:30:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2012-07-08T02:30:15.143-06:00</atom:updated><title>More texts from Real Life</title><atom:summary>All screenshots are from a single conversation. The Mad Housewife's texts appear on the right, and Mad Merlot Mama's are on the left. - Posted from my iPhone. Cause I'm freakin' awesome. </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/GMgdia_fv9o/more-texts-from-real-life.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (The Mad Housewife)</author><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=GMgdia_fv9o:Vh52r6VVqTM:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2012/07/more-texts-from-real-life.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-8665784636170957856</guid><pubDate>Sun, 08 Jul 2012 08:27:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2012-07-08T02:27:50.828-06:00</atom:updated><title>Texts from Real Life</title><atom:summary>The Mad Housewife's texts appear on the right, and Mad Merlot Mama's are on the left. - Posted from my iPhone. Cause I'm freakin' awesome. </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/g9r8d1wcavs/texts-from-real-life.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (The Mad Housewife)</author><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=g9r8d1wcavs:hVSOfdksLZw:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2012/07/texts-from-real-life.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-8981845298091282292</guid><pubDate>Thu, 14 Jun 2012 04:50:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2012-06-13T22:50:41.286-06:00</atom:updated><title>Texts from this week</title><atom:summary>Bonus, to prove it's not just us, here's some from friends and family. We really are just fucking awesome.

Oh, and ONE is from an old "friend" of mine who just had a baby. Who evidently, sees NOTHING wrong with asking me to fuck him. Can you guess which one it is?






























Lastly, because Facebook is fucked up, I give you THIS gem...

</atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/0OgRn94YDwA/texts-from-this-week.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-AEmdqevhtcU/T9lrzh02-jI/AAAAAAAAADw/KcCaP08Pezc/s72-c/SC20120508-114241.jpeg" height="72" width="72" /><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=0OgRn94YDwA:SRXu5eqDzmk:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2012/06/texts-from-this-week.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-7413913138675220619</guid><pubDate>Fri, 11 May 2012 00:47:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2012-05-10T18:47:04.271-06:00</atom:updated><title>Realizations of a newly single Mom</title><atom:summary>This shit is easier than I thought it would be
Seriously, this is so much easier than living with my ex. For example, try to parent with someone who constantly undermines you. You tell your kid that taking a flying leap off the couch isn't acceptable behavior, he says to let her find out for herself. The threat of a concussion isn't even a spark in his mind. You tell your kid that throwing a </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/5K0P2nDoI7U/realizations-of-newly-single-mom.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><thr:total>1</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=5K0P2nDoI7U:Nl6Z4SnafzI:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2012/05/realizations-of-newly-single-mom.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-8163231989102154094</guid><pubDate>Wed, 14 Mar 2012 01:02:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2012-03-13T20:28:11.393-06:00</atom:updated><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">life with a toddler</category><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">love</category><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">ex stress</category><title>Well aint that some shit</title><atom:summary>Well, it's been a while since we graced the Internets with our presence. At least for me...Well..shit went down. What happened? Simply put: I left Stupid. I gathered up six die-hard friends, grabbed my shit, grabbed Kidlette, and high-tailed it the fuck out of there. Served him papers the next day, and now I await with baited breath his response, which has yet to be forthcoming. In the meantime, </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/AwC2mA-4f8Q/well-aint-that-some-shit.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=AwC2mA-4f8Q:jDwrEJ5jb7A:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2012/03/well-aint-that-some-shit.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-796358034349700951</guid><pubDate>Sun, 05 Feb 2012 07:00:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2012-02-05T00:00:01.247-07:00</atom:updated><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">doctors</category><title>What's up, Doc?</title><atom:summary>The other day I went to the doctor because the dull pain in my lower left side of my stomach had turned into sharp, stabby pain. Dull I can live with, hey, there's 5 pharmacies in a 10 mile radius. Sharp, stabby, holy-hell-kill-me pain? Yeah, not so much.


Packed up Kidlette, downloaded an App to keep her busy, and off to the urgent care we trekked. After an hour wait, (with 3 other people in </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/ixSXqWCly_A/whats-up-doc.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><thr:total>1</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=ixSXqWCly_A:5zCBUvZArSo:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2012/02/whats-up-doc.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-6822358940438989303</guid><pubDate>Fri, 03 Feb 2012 07:00:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2012-02-03T00:00:10.486-07:00</atom:updated><title>Seriously. We're funny IRL.</title><atom:summary>Merlot is in white, Mad Housewife in green...







- Posted from my iPhone. Cause I'm freakin awesome.</atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/8gnX2U_LAZQ/seriously-we-funny-irl.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (The Mad Housewife)</author><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=8gnX2U_LAZQ:CFZy2AnI85o:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2012/02/seriously-we-funny-irl.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-5741105266574841686</guid><pubDate>Tue, 31 Jan 2012 07:00:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2012-01-31T00:00:00.221-07:00</atom:updated><title>Can You Describe Your Sex Life With a Movie Title?</title><atom:summary>I can't help it. My brain is so constantly and consistently in the gutter... This meme I recently came across on Facebook has inspired me. So I present... Movie Titles That Could Describe Your Sex Life:

- The Hangover
- Dude, Where's My Car?
- Enough
- The Greatest Story Ever Told
- Snakes on a Plane
- Baby Mama
- Black Snake Moan
- The World is Not Enough
- The 40 Year Old Virgin
- Why Did I </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/D3gtdSAuWDM/can-you-describe-your-sex-life-with.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (The Mad Housewife)</author><thr:total>1</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=D3gtdSAuWDM:APMFYfZc0xA:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2012/01/can-you-describe-your-sex-life-with.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-8172466945658252028</guid><pubDate>Sun, 29 Jan 2012 18:30:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2012-01-29T11:30:32.874-07:00</atom:updated><title>Being Sick is Funny</title><atom:summary>After a full nights battle with a stomach virus....


Hubby- "What the HELL are you wearing?"Me- "Um, jammies?"Hubby- "Well they add about ten years on you."Me- "I know, why do you think I sleep naked?"</atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/tL5_MoF1w24/being-sick-is-funny.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (The Mad Housewife)</author><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=tL5_MoF1w24:TQZZjBzKSxc:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2012/01/being-sick-is-funny.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-2414098629792684978</guid><pubDate>Sun, 29 Jan 2012 00:59:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2012-01-28T17:59:50.497-07:00</atom:updated><title>NEW BLOG ALERT!!!!</title><atom:summary>The Mad Housewife is now posting and accepting entries on her new blog, STFU Ex Husband!  Time to bring out all the dirty laundry and burn it.  </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/RpKcJeRC0qw/new-blog-alert.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (The Mad Housewife)</author><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=RpKcJeRC0qw:qycF4gHv4N4:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2012/01/new-blog-alert.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-5764864298940510382</guid><pubDate>Sat, 28 Jan 2012 21:14:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2012-01-28T14:14:00.642-07:00</atom:updated><title>We're Funny IRL...</title><atom:summary>



</atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/LcCcM6FO41w/were-funny-irl.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (The Mad Housewife)</author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fydqghz85Go/TyRk4ku5gMI/AAAAAAAAAq4/bnG-Hmz__Xo/s72-c/STFU+Parents+Gold+Star.png" height="72" width="72" /><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=LcCcM6FO41w:Cg5m9vN6T4A:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2012/01/were-funny-irl.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-1552433401445414422</guid><pubDate>Fri, 30 Dec 2011 05:27:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2011-12-29T22:27:04.804-07:00</atom:updated><title>The One Where The Mad Housewife Finally Writes an Update...</title><atom:summary>Hi.  I've been missing lately.

That's because life has been repeatedly punching me in the balls.

The good news is that my hubby is doing pretty damn good.  He's recovered really well from his brief stay in the loony bin last May; and he's been successfully taken off all his medication.  

Good news again is that he's getting his Bachelor's degree in the next couple of months, and is in the </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/UcLl2SXVjmg/one-where-mad-housewife-finally-writes.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (The Mad Housewife)</author><thr:total>1</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=UcLl2SXVjmg:07O5DSGKMO0:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2011/12/one-where-mad-housewife-finally-writes.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-2840179199539103094</guid><pubDate>Thu, 22 Dec 2011 02:12:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2011-12-21T19:12:31.086-07:00</atom:updated><title>Let's see the little bastards escape from THIS one...</title><atom:summary>- Posted from The Mad Housewife's iPhone. Like a BOSS. </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/SmhyW-Ud7-Y/let-see-little-bastards-escape-from.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (The Mad Housewife)</author><thr:total>2</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=SmhyW-Ud7-Y:hOZ3MhKSHzY:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2011/12/let-see-little-bastards-escape-from.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-5790309033335526647</guid><pubDate>Wed, 21 Dec 2011 17:49:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2011-12-21T11:14:24.510-07:00</atom:updated><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">kids</category><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">kidlette</category><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">Christmas</category><title>Funny Christmas Stories from the Merlot Household</title><atom:summary>Growing up, my twin sister and I did things a bit...differently. Christmas was a magical time of year to shake the other twins present until you heard something break, seperate gifts into piles, compare who got more, and snitch relentlessly in the hopes her present would become your present. Ah, memories. I'd to share with you now two stories that prove two things: 1) we were certifiably insane </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/icLS5q5BqEc/funny-christmas-stories-from-merlot.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><thr:total>2</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=icLS5q5BqEc:_kVhRsuoXmw:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2011/12/funny-christmas-stories-from-merlot.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-6776919949672936738</guid><pubDate>Mon, 19 Dec 2011 06:24:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2011-12-18T23:43:22.377-07:00</atom:updated><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">work</category><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">rants</category><title>Sup, Harpy?</title><atom:summary>A few things I'd like to point out to the office Harpy:1. It's called epilepsy, bitch.When I bust ass outta there because I'm going to have a seizure, it's not "a convenient excuse" it's my neurological system taking a dump. Last time I ignored it, I ended up with a black eye so horrific, it was swollen shut for 3 weeks.2. You are not allergic to every goddamn scent I own.The Dark Lily scent gave</atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/PVgv-e266o8/sup-harpy.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><thr:total>1</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=PVgv-e266o8:IDPUwx6N5Ik:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2011/12/sup-harpy.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-3527277482046634399</guid><pubDate>Mon, 07 Nov 2011 04:40:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2011-11-06T21:52:48.156-07:00</atom:updated><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">random</category><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">rants</category><title>Shit that bothers me</title><atom:summary>Kotex: have a happy period!. Yeah, I'm just THRILLED to be bleeding like a stuck pig, bloated, crampy, bitchy, and craving salt to the point where I'm in the market for a salt lick. Happy period my ass.Because you're worth it. Um, not always, no. Last Christmas I saw a mother who looked like she'd stepped off the pages of Vogue. Her kids, on the other hand, had on coats 2 sizes too small, ripped </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/tEDHNYwKi5o/shit-that-bothers-me.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=tEDHNYwKi5o:3Xu6OghZgOQ:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2011/11/shit-that-bothers-me.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-6319616642840909017</guid><pubDate>Wed, 26 Oct 2011 21:26:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2011-10-26T15:42:24.366-06:00</atom:updated><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">halloween</category><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">rants</category><title>We're all racist jerks</title><atom:summary>So, there's an  article on racist costumes. And damn, there are a ton of overly sensitive people out there. The article mentions geisha, indian, and Mexican costumes. There's a TOOOON of people who think that donning a geisha costume makes you an insensitive, ignorant, racist ass.Look, if you go looking for racism, you're going to find it. Whether real or imagined, you're going to find it. </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/nCXPENtm8gU/were-all-racist-jerks.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><media:thumbnail xmlns:media="http://search.yahoo.com/mrss/" url="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-EPTNl0bwUQE/Tqh9_xYRROI/AAAAAAAAAC4/Q4oOICIAt98/s72-c/racist1.jpg" height="72" width="72" /><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=nCXPENtm8gU:JaWm1HEQ3nw:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2011/10/were-all-racist-jerks.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-7058121333727755485</guid><pubDate>Sat, 22 Oct 2011 23:37:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2011-10-22T18:01:42.970-06:00</atom:updated><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">kidlette</category><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">love</category><category domain="http://www.blogger.com/atom/ns#">sick</category><title>In which my Ice Queen heart melts</title><atom:summary>So, starting at the ungodly hour of 0200 hours, my immune system decided to revolt. As in nothing could be kept down, and I doused myself in Eau de Cold Sweat. Couple hours later, the shakes showed up to the party.However, and this is why my Kidlette owns my heart, my baby decided to single-handedly make me feel better.It started with my sickly ass being parked on the couch, wondering where I </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/91EybTV3ogA/in-which-my-ice-queen-heart-melts.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><thr:total>1</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=91EybTV3ogA:M1wIOA1Y-ig:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2011/10/in-which-my-ice-queen-heart-melts.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-3346273478941169013</guid><pubDate>Wed, 12 Oct 2011 17:46:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2011-10-12T12:15:27.939-06:00</atom:updated><title>Employers: help me help you</title><atom:summary>As I approach month two of my unemployment, there's a few things I'd like to address with employers out there, about their job postings. Things that will help ME decide if it's even worth my time, and help them get better applicants.1. Post the name of your company!When I look at a job posting and I see no name, one word comes to mind: scam. Every single job board is rife with scammers trying to </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/bS1DCE8r71g/employers-help-me-help-you.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=bS1DCE8r71g:SLcd-lrC9DQ:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2011/10/employers-help-me-help-you.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-1424181834911225867</guid><pubDate>Mon, 26 Sep 2011 05:19:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2011-09-25T23:20:56.159-06:00</atom:updated><title>An open letter to my Holier Than Thou Mother in Law</title><atom:summary>1)Acting like I don’t exist will not work in your favor. You flat out IGNORE me in my own damn house.  I ask you a question, you don’t respond. You refuse to acknowledge my presence. Wrong move, Saint Mother.  You see, I am the primary gatekeeper as far as your Granddaughter is concerned. I am the only who primarily decides who sees her and who doesn’t. It’s in your best fucking interest to at </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/frJhydK06Mk/open-letter-to-my-holier-than-thou.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=frJhydK06Mk:zq9NvL1xUss:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2011/09/open-letter-to-my-holier-than-thou.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-3129223437291738655</guid><pubDate>Tue, 20 Sep 2011 21:52:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2011-09-20T16:06:37.619-06:00</atom:updated><title>I hate people</title><atom:summary>In between searching for a job, I popped on over to Facebook, and an old acquaintance from high school had messaged me.We start pseudo-catching up, and she admits she's living with her parents and life isn't so grand with her either. We commiserate for a while, and she asks if she can call me. Well, why not. Misery loves company and all that jazz.Midway through the conversation, she says she </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/rthHZKM-JYo/i-hate-people.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=rthHZKM-JYo:ueedDrntAO8:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2011/09/i-hate-people.html</feedburner:origLink></item><item><guid isPermaLink="false">tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-704273354194279864.post-6045755741508753354</guid><pubDate>Wed, 14 Sep 2011 19:11:00 +0000</pubDate><atom:updated>2011-09-14T13:41:19.364-06:00</atom:updated><title>No, really. STFU.</title><atom:summary>Everyone has that friend on Facebook who needs a quick slap from reality. They post ALL THE DAMN TIME. About every. little. thing. Or, their child is the sweetest iddle thing, and they lurve them SO MUCH YOU GUYS. My [least] favorite are the ones who ARE SO IN LOVE and by God, you are going to know about it. This is an open letter to these people: please. STFU.Nobody cares what you're doing at </atom:summary><link>http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/javainmyveins/~3/n5sr1S4Udds/no-really-stfu.html</link><author>noreply@blogger.com (Mad Merlot Mama)</author><thr:total>0</thr:total><description>&lt;div class="feedflare"&gt;
&lt;a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?a=n5sr1S4Udds:uBAgAkR4WTQ:yIl2AUoC8zA"&gt;&lt;img src="http://feeds.feedburner.com/~ff/javainmyveins?d=yIl2AUoC8zA" border="0"&gt;&lt;/img&gt;&lt;/a&gt;
&lt;/div&gt;</description><feedburner:origLink>http://javainmyveins.blogspot.com/2011/09/no-really-stfu.html</feedburner:origLink></item></channel></rss>
