Our lives are not our own. We like to think that we are, and our western culture celebrates rugged individualism, but we live our lives connected to various groups. Many groups we are born into and some we chose. We begin life supported by others and over the course of our lives we help others on their paths. First Lieutenant Nainoa K. Hoe lived his true life, knowing the risks but believing in the cause. The chance encounter between his father and the army nurse who treated the lieutenant in his final moments illustrates all the ways that were connected. In this case the father was able to comfort the nurse that she should not feel burdened that she wasn’t send him home alive. The father laughed because her story confirmed that she was there and reminded the father of something the son had shared from working with his platoon. We’re all connected. Do you have memories of someone who isn’t with us, that another friend of that person would immediately recognize? We keep each other alive when we share our memories of those close to us. 

Today’s prompt definitely led me down a rabbit hole… I met Creagan in the third grade, back then we all knew him as Ed. My family had just moved to Mission Viejo and I recognized him on the bus to school as being one of the kids in my class. That was all it took to start our lifelong friendship. So one trait that those who knew Creagan/Ed might recognize was that when he’d begin some story he would rub the end of his nose with his hand. I don’t know what that was about, but he did it all the time. That’s just one quirk, oh yeah, and if he was mad at me, he’d call me “Joseph” as if that would stop me from doing whatever stupid thing I was doing. 

Sadly he suffered a stroke or aneurism in 2015 and all I have now is a lot of memories and conspiratorial smiles. I did a podcast episode dedicated to him: JBB’s Final Thoughts Ep. 22: This Ain’t Goodbye: Edward “Creagan” Charles McConnell 1958 – 2015. Please check it out. This seems to be an ongoing reminder that we need to express our emotions and connections to one another while we can because the future is brutal when it comes to severed ties, and as one gets older there are fewer and fewer with whom I have these shared memories. We have so little time, don’t waste it on trivial bullshit. Love one another. 

Sources:

• The Last Viewing by The Rauch Brothers/Story Corp,, https://storycorps.org/animation/the-last-viewing/
• JBB’s Final Thoughts Ep. 22: This Ain’t Goodbye: Edward “Creagan” Charles McConnell 1958 – 2015, https://joebustillos.com/2015/04/jbbs-final-thoughts-episode-22-this-aint-goodbye-edward-creagan-charles-mcconnell-1958-2015/

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Movies and TV have had a terrible tendency of glorifying war. And I don’t think anyone with a working brain cell thinks that actual combat or military service has any similarity to what  they might experience in “Call of Duty” or the like. What my dad went through serving in Korea probably was far different from what my older uncles experienced in World War II, or my cousins and relatives experienced in Vietnam or my classmates and students have experienced in all the conflicts since. But the sudden and seemingly arbitrary loss of ones friends and squad members, that is a brutal possibility that has been shared throughout the generations of veterans. I appreciate Marine Lance Corporal Travis Williams sharing his story and his struggle to keep going and honor the lives of his friends. Our veterans deserve all the respect and support we can give them and we need to do whatever we can to prevent others from having to take up arms because our leaders cannot resolve conflicts otherwise. How do you respond to hearing these stories? What can we do to help our veterans? What else can we do?

My generation didn’t do a very good job in how we treated veterans returning from the Vietnam War. Maybe we over-compensated with the Gulf Wars but while trying to support our troops we allowed for our leaders to wage war under false pretenses and rekindle an “Imperial America” mindset around the world. That’s neither here nor there, my point is there are folks in our communities who have suffered in service to our country, including some who were not born here but have chosen to serve, that deserve support and the means to have their best post-service life, regardless of how we might personally feel about the conflict they were engaged in. 

There is an excellent 7-episode podcast called Taking Cover that was created by NPR/Embedded that touched on survivor’s guilt and dealing with the aftermath of the sudden unanticipated loss of soldiers’ lives. Unlike today’s story, Taking Cover investigates a friendly fire incident that took years to uncover. Please check it out at the following link: https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510368/taking-cover

I cannot imagine what these people went through and the struggles that stay with them. Respect. 

Sources:

• 1st Squad, 3rd Platoon by The Rauch Brothers/Story Corps, https://storycorps.org/animation/1st-squad-3rd-platoon/
• Taking Cover (podcast) by NPR/Embedded, https://www.npr.org/podcasts/510368/taking-cover

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For those unfamiliar with military or camp life, Taps is played by the camp bugler at dusk of every day when the flags are lowered. It feels like we are so removed from these customs with its greater communal existence that required everyone to be working together, getting up at the same early hour and getting the end of day duties done before “lights out.” I have lived my whole adult life without the pleasure of such daily accompaniment. That’s one thing to consider when listening to this veteran’s story, the requirements of their communal existence. Another thing to consider is how it must have felt to hear Taps not at the end of the day, but in recognition of all of their fallen comrades. Do you think we’ve lost something with our fast-moving, individualized, compartmentalized lifestyles? Especially when it comes to grief and lost, what do you think we should do more of to help each other?

It’s not exactly the same, but growing up in a family of five kids and sharing my bedroom with my little brother I think I have some familiarity with a regimented lifestyle where we were all expected to get up, eat, go to school and get to bed at the same time. Of course that all went out the window when I went to college, moved into the dorms, had classes at all hours of the day and night and tried to ignore my own circadian rhythm as much as possible, much less do things on someone else’s schedule. So, communal has definitely not been my lifestyle for many, many years and I’ve loved it. At the same time, this many years into my own journey, I think that more shared experiences, both celebrations and solemn events, would be much healthier and meaningful. So many people in my life and in my friends’ lives have passed in these last two years, and it feels like so little time has been taken to mourn the loss and commune over these things.  I appreciate this veteran’s story and pause at the memories of those who have passed and appreciate what they contributed to the lives of those around them. 

Sources: An Army bugler’s story about his special wartime assignment by PBSNewshours/Storycorp, https://youtu.be/F3xQ2l7WF5g

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Historically, in the aftermath of a nation at war every community was touched with the loss of life of some young man or woman. Why would a country want to recognize soldiers who died in a struggle? Wouldn’t they rather celebrate victories and how great their military is and not talk about the dead? Why would a country set aside a day to remember their fallen soldiers? And what does Memorial Day mean to you? Do you have a personal or family story related to Memorial Day? Please share in the comments. This week all of JBB’s Daily Reflection Prompts will be about this holiday and stories about those who have served…

Why do we set aside a day as a nation to remember our war dead? Someone quoted in my FB feed Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address and the last part stood out to me in connection to why we set aside today to remember our fallen soldiers:

It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us — that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion — that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain — that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.

Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg Address

We set aside this day because the work begun by the founders of this country continues and we need to do our part, in honor of the dead and so that their efforts are not for nothing. History, and especially our national history, has never been a continual climb to perfection or a fall from some former glory. It is the ongoing efforts by all of us to have a society that that the founders aspired to and shred their blood for. In some ways and for some of its citizens things have greatly improved, but there is a lot of room for improvement and there is always room for more at the table. 

While my father served during the Korean conflict, my family has been fortunate to have not lost anyone then or in any of the following conflicts. I appreciate my father’s sacrifices and what he learned and believed in from his experiences in the military and I recognize some deficits in my generation having not served. My hope is that we can all learn from the sacrifices of our ancestors and not have to repeat their history. That may not be doable, but I continue to hope that blood is not required for our society to continue forward. That is my hope for my son and my granddaughters, that we learn from our ancestors and not have to have wars or armed conflicts to resolve our challenges. The lyrics of a song comes to mind…

Russians by Sting

In Europe and America there's a growing feeling of hysteria
Conditioned to respond to all the threats
In the rhetorical speeches of the Soviets
Mister Krushchev said, "We will bury you"
I don't subscribe to this point of view
It'd be such an ignorant thing to do
If the Russians love their children too
How can I save my little boy from Oppenheimer's deadly toy?
There is no monopoly on common sense
On either side of the political fence
We share the same biology, regardless of ideology
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the Russians love their children too

There is no historical precedent
To put the words in the mouth of the president?
There's no such thing as a winnable war
It's a lie we don't believe anymore
Mister Reagan says, "We will protect you"
I don't subscribe to this point of view
Believe me when I say to you
I hope the Russians love their children too

We share the same biology, regardless of ideology
But what might save us, me and you
Is if the Russians love their children too

Kiss those you love… Life is too short and too precious for bullshit.

Sources:

• What Is Memorial Day? By Untold History, https://youtu.be/EEBWgdYskR0
• Russians Songwriters: Gordon Sumner / Serge Prokofieff, Russians lyrics © Concord Music Publishing LLC

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You can be amazing
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug
You can be the outcast
Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love
Or you can start speaking up

Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do
When they settle 'neath your skin
Kept on the inside and no sunlight
Sometimes a shadow wins

But I wonder what would happen if you
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave

Everybody's been there, 
everybody's been stared down
By the enemy
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing
Bow down to the mighty
But don't run, stop holding your tongue

Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in
Show me how big your brave is
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

Innocence, your history of silence
Won't do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don't you tell them the truth?
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I wanna see you be brave
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
See you be brave
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you
I just wanna see you

There was a great video put out by a children’s hospital with staff and patients lip syncing to the song. So inspiring.:

Then Bareilles was interviewed on Fresh Air, talking about her experiences going from “pop” music to writing for and performing on Broadway.  Click HERE to listen to the interview.

Sources:

• LyricFind, Songwriters: Jack Antonoff / Sara Bareilles, Brave lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC
• Brave at University of Minnesota Masonic Children’s Hospital… https://youtu.be/N8xnLkyKgsE
• Fresh Air, interview Sara Bareilles by Ann Marie Baldonado, May 18, 2023, https://www.npr.org/2023/05/18/1176676541/sara-bareilles-into-the-woods-waitress-girls5eva-love-song

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When you’ve spent decades of your life breaking every waking moment into 50-minute hunks of time, managing hundreds of moving parts and the disposition of dozens of emotionally activated proto-humans, suddenly finding oneself waking up to a world with no constraints, except for a doctor appointment here or there, can be more than a little intimidating. And believe me, summer break isn’t some kind of “retirement practice” because I would spend the first half of the break just recovering from the last school year (mostly sleeping or seeing movies I’d missed over the course of the past 10-months…) and then spend the second half of the break prepping for the next school year. So, except for the Summer of 2017 when I spent 31-days driving from one end of the U.S. to the other end and back and not prepping for the next school year, this business of waking up whenever I want and doing whatever I want is very foreign to me. 

So, really I am retiring from the teaching grind and am hoping to shift over to some form of media/writing/journalism work soon. But I could use some suggestions from my retired/semi-retired friends on how you manage your day? While I tend to get all “concerned” about the financial responsibilities, the truth is that time and how we spend it, is the most precious commodity. How do you spend or dole out your time? 

So, I got through the day, began to unpack my stuff from school and reconfigure my home setup. Bringing all of this stuff home really does inspire me to downsize and get rid of as much paper as possible. A lot of this is just stuff that I didn’t have the time or wasn’t a high enough priority during the school year. Now that that is over, I can do things like replacing the burned out lights in my bathroom and kitchen. Oh yeah, and look for my next job… 

I think I’m going to take the rest of the week off from writing JBB’s Daily Reflection Prompt. I have an eye doctor appointment Thursday morning and will probably want to stay away from bright screens for a bit. Hope y’all have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend. I’ll post a Video Fridays post, but other than that catch you next week. 

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For the third time in my adult life I have found myself packing up my things, turning in my keys, saying goodbye to coworkers and having no real idea what I’m going to do next. I’m a bit too working class to completely celebrate this change without the anxiety of not knowing where the next paycheck might come from. It would seem that if anything is consistent in the course of my life, it’s change that requires some form of leaving.  How do you deal with leaving? Are you the kind of person who is more anxious or excited? That’s right, the teaching job is over, but I’m still posting another JBB’s Daily Reflection Prompt. Enjoy and please feel free to share your stories of change and leaving.

My coworkers expressed their good hearted jealousy at my retirement from teaching. The annual classroom closure isn’t anything of note except that most years, and especially in the years before leaving California in 2008, it took me several days if not weeks to get the cleanup  job done. But closing up to never return is something different than just moving all of the tables and chairs to one side of the room so that the custodian crews can clean the carpeting. As noted in the prompt I’ve done this three times before with no clue about what I was going to do for work. 

The first time I left my job with no clear plans was when I left the phone company in 1994. The company was in a huge downsizing process and being the one of the workers on my area with the least seniority (with 15 year!) I knew it was time to go. I got six-months full pay severance. Fortunately I landed a teaching job within three months. The road was more than a little bumpy but I landed in my feet (eventually). 

When I left my teaching job in California in 2008, I had the job at Full Sail University in Florida, so it was a big change but I knew what was next. 

But when I was let go by Full Sail University in 2014 I had no warning, got three months severance and it took seven months to get the Full Sail Labs job for much less pay. Life changing experiences gained at Full Sail Labs but insufficient pay to be sustainable long term. Thus I found myself leaving Full Sail Labs in August 2016, and moving back across country to take the job teaching STEAM at an elementary school in CCSD. 

When I switched from teaching STEAM to robotics in 2020 it was a crazy mid-pandemic time but planned. So this brings us up to date to now. Clearly, except for the 15-years with the phone company, I changed jobs much more frequently than the typical public school educator. I’m sure this has something to do with teaching technology related fields. 

It isn’t easy, it requires a lot of concentration and effort, but this is a huge opportunity for me to realize a life long desire to make a living doing journalism and/or writing. I was looking at my online resume (https://joebustillos.com/joe-bustillos-resume/) and I saw a lot of years in the classroom but not too much evidence of a life of writing and reflection. I guess I need to work on that. 

This isn’t hypothetical. I’ll be getting my CCSD paychecks and keep my insurance until July 31st, then I better have something ready to go. Needless to say, except for not waking up at 5:30 tomorrow, I won’t be taking any time “off” until I’ve secured gainful “employment.” Happy “retirement” to me!

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Congratulations, you made it to the end of the 2022-2023 School Year. Enjoy your time off and I hope you have a wonderful beginning to the 2023-2024 school year.

And… we’re done… what else is there to say? Today is a half-day with students and then I have to clean out my room and take home all of my personal belongings. I have tomorrow to finish cleaning out my room and checking out (for good!).

I took home the name tag that used to be on my mailbox in the teachers’ lounge. We had a luncheon after the students left and the principle gave me a plaque. I spent until almost 5:30 working on cleaning up my room. As usual, I’m doing way more than just collecting my personal belongings and clearing out. I really care that the next guy has a fighting chance to be successful, so I feel the need to make sure that everything is organized and properly put away. I’ll have tomorrow to finish, load up my car and head out. I’d feel a lot more relaxed (and maybe even a little excited) if I knew what I’ll be doing to earn a living for the next few weeks, months and years… To be continued…

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School years are usually 180 day. And now you are down to today and half-day on Monday. What are you looking forward to with the summer break? What do you do so time doesn’t slow down and Monday gets here quickly?

There’s no really escaping how time seems to slow down just when one is feeling close to the end. It probably doesn’t help that “they” turned off the A/C these past two weeks, such that the afternoon classes really begin to drag in time with the temperatures in the classroom climbing. It’s probably only in the 70s but normally so cold in the classroom that I have to wear a sweatshirt in the afternoon. All of which has nothing to do with really answering today’s prompt…

This summer break is pretty special to me in that it represents the end of the last 28 years of my life as a public school educator and the beginning of whatever the next chapter might be. That reminds me, I have a daily prompt set up for the last day of the school year (Monday), but I haven’t entirely decided what I’m going to do with JBB’s Daily Reflection Prompt after that. I’ll probably take the rest of the week “off” and then begin some new version the following week. What do you think I should do? The original version came out of the daily prompts I was creating for my Middle School homeroom students and any videos had to be limited to 5-minutes or less. I don’t have to follow those restrictions after Monday… Again, what have you enjoyed and what has been more of a “meh” thing. Let me know in the comments area. You might also think about subscribing directly to the blog at joebustillos.com so that you can get the posts directly in your inbox whenever they post. Thanks and please let me know your thoughts about where I should go with JBB’s Daily Reflection Prompts now that school is ending and I won’t be posting these to students after Monday. 

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